Chapter Text
Phuwin sighed for the fifth time in less than thirty minutes.
His mother had not even changed the venue, using the same one he attended his father's office parties in as a child.
It was in the very same venue he met Dunk which was a rather cruel reminder of what his best friend was going through.
He knew the party had just begun but he had lost all the vibes to be at the party. He knew for a fact that Pond would not be coming as Joong, his best friend was in the hospital.
From the talk he had with Dunk earlier, Joong, the boy who everyone compared with sunshine tried to kill himself and very nearly succeeded. Dunk luckily was able to get to him on time and the emergency line had been called to take him away. Dunk had given him his gift when he finished the story and quickly rushed back to be with Joong in the hospital.
Phuwin understood his best friend was filled with misplaced guilt over a lot of things and he wanted to support him but his mother absolutely refused to cancel the birthday party and in the course of the argument he found out the party was just a way for him to make business connections. It wasn't about his birthday and it would have held either way.
It hurt but he could not say he was surprised. He decided to wait it out and play the part.
Even Fourth whom he had invited had only come to drop his gift, saying he had somewhere else he needed to be and he needed to help the guy he liked on something. Proud of his junior for having more courage than he did, he could not fault him for leaving and cheerily wished him luck.
He just had to be alone and wait it out. Just a few hours left.
"Why's the birthday boy all alone at his party?" a familiar voice teased and he turned to see Pond smiling at him. He could only gape at the suit he was wearing. He was not with a tie like the rest of the men in the party and the first three buttons of his inner shirt were not fastened showing off his torso. He had his hair styled and if not for the bit of dark circles he could see, he would not be able to tell the boy he was looking at had spent a better half of two days in the hospital begging for the life of his best friend.
Phuwin forgot all decorum and hugged him tightly, just happy to see him.
"Why are you here?" he asked and Pond pouted a bit. "What? Was I jokingly invited?" he teased and laughed as Phuwin glared at him and rolled his eyes. "Come on, I have something cool I want to show you. Plus this party is rather boring when you think about it."
Pulling him away from the crowd was easy and he dragged him to the place he and Dunk had discovered together as kids which had made them best friends. It was a duck pond, which you found by walking out from the back and following the street lamps.
Walking under the street lamps, swinging hands, Phuwin felt at ease but looking at Pond, he could tell it was not the same for him.
"Is Joong okay?" Phuwin asked and the way Pond turned to him sadly made him squeeze his hand tighter. "Honestly, I wasn't expecting to see you here. I know he's your brother and you love him so much. Honestly it's hard not to. I would have cancelled the party if not for my mother. How are you holding up_"
He stopped and turned to face Pond to himself. "And not because it's my birthday, I want to hear the truth about what you feel." Phuwin said, holding his second hand as they stared at each other.
Pond smiled at him and then shrugged. "I honestly don't know how I feel. I haven't given myself a chance to feel anything. I went to the hospital. I was given leave for the day from my jobs for the case but it just made me feel like I was drifting. I didn't know what I was supposed to be doing. I was glad to come here, guess it felt like I had a purpose I could not mess up, since I managed to mess up taking care of the brother I was supposed to be and_"
Seeing Pond break down crying completely destroyed Phuwin but he knew not to try and stop him.
Pond's hands were being held by him and he noticed he was trying to hide his face behind his hair so he pulled him closer and hugged him tightly.
"It's okay. I'm here. You can cry. I'm right here." Phuwin soothed, hugging him closely. hating the small part of him that was happy to be comforting the love of his life for the past three years whom didn't know that he had dreamt moments like this.
However any happiness he might have felt at the moment was clouded with the darkness of Pond's sorrow and his own best friend's underlying pain.
They stayed there until Pond felt better and the grateful smile Phuwin got made him fall a little more in love.
They arrived the duck pond and sat at the edge. The ducks swimming made a beautiful sight and the two of them sat down, engaging in safe conversations like Phuwin and Dunk's childhood, and nothing about Pond's life as he shared it too much with Joong.
They were laughing at another anecdote from Phuwin when he got an incoming call from his mother.
"Phuwin get here immediately. It's time for the cake and presents. You will not embarrass me any further." She hissed into the call before ending it abruptly.
"Come on, let's go pretend I care about everything going on there. It's time for cake and presents." They both stood up and Pond's face was twisted in confusion.
"What happens during cake and presents?" He asked and Phuwin gave a very put out sigh. "Well I blow out my candles, cut the cake and give the slice to the most important person in my life, then I open presents and make commentary about each of them. The bigger the better." he rolled his eyes as he explained and Pond laughed at his very put out expression. They were holding hands but as they approached the hall, Phuwin let go which Pond noticed but did not draw attention to. Who was he to demand special attention?
They entered the hall and everyone started singing happy birthday. Phuwin moved behind the cake meanwhile Pond found a place among the back liners and tried to make himself as inconspicuous as possible.
After the birthday song was sung, the piece of cake cut was given to the boy beside Phuwin. Pond knew he was the heir to a hydro electric company but he did not know him personally. He probably was Phuwin's closest friend after Dunk although he could not remember the boy in any of the stories Phuwin had told him. He didn't even know his name.
He ignored the twinge of pain he felt at not being Phuwin's most important person.
The gift giving was another culture shock. The gifts were impersonal, very expensive and not close to Phuwin's taste and the fact the cards were read out before any gift was unwrapped made him panic as his card was not as impersonal as the other ones.
He wished his gift would be skipped over but unfortunately he was last, right after the gift of a "small Island vacation cabin" which had been packaged with a small box with just a key, given to him by Sol, the boy who had gotten the cake.
"Oh this is rather small, would this top all the others?." The speaker said and Pond blushed. It definitely was not an impressive gift for the other's standard and in lieu with the other gifts given, he didn't even think Phuwin would like it. He got the idea from one of the conversations they had when Phuwin had talked about how he wanted to see the world from the normal point of view, not the one gave him. He did not have the money to take him on a plane but he was an engineering student who had loads of friends who loved him. Together they had made what he fondly called the travel box. When the box was opened it revealed a rotating globe. He had worked on the semantics of that one and made it a musical box that spun and played all Phuwin's favorite classical songs, making it the size of a slightly larger musical box.
Then if Phuwin tapped any part of the box, he got a hologram of the locals there living their lives. Honestly Pond could not say he even understood how Pooh was able to get it to work. He had just sat there obeying all his commands while swearing under his breathe and thankful for the boy's existence.
They finished just in time, with Pooh even having to come to the bar and coffee shop for them to work. His boyfriend, Pavel, a senior who was popular in the university for being a racer while in his final year was not amused with this and hung around them, not communicating but not letting Pooh leave his sight.
Pond would have found it cute if the glares were not directed at him.
When Phuwin tapped the first place and saw wildlife that were specific to the Pacific, his eyes lit up completely. The smile Pond received was worth a thousand dollars and he was on top of the world before he froze when he started hearing snickers.
"What the hell is that?" He heard and Pond felt himself flush with embarrassment. The boy Sol laughed the hardest. "Well we cannot blame him. It's the only way he can make someone who is richer than him see the world with his help. Do you like him? Do you really think someone like him would be with someone like you? You as you are can never be enough."
"Cut it out_" Phuwin intervened but Pond had already left the place.
Phuwin was about to leave but a look from his mother stopped him right on his tracks. He quickly finished all the unwrapping and he left the place quickly, hoping and praying that Pond would be in the spot he wanted him to be by the duck pond.
He ran with the gift in his hand and was so happy to see that Pond was actually waiting although he was not seeming very happy.
"Pond!" He yelled and the boy raised his head to meet his. "I'm so sorry about Sol. And my mum, and everything. The gift you gave me was the most thoughtful thing ever and it means so much to me knowing you made it all yourself, and I'll cherish it for as long as I live. I'm so thankful to you and I'm so sorry for what he said. It's so stupid and_"
"I like you Phuwin." Pond interrupted and Phuwin felt himself freeze. Was he dreaming? Did Pond actually mean what he was saying. It would break his heart if he found out he didn't mean it.
"Do you mean that?" He asked and Pond smiled sadly and nodded, looking like his world was crumbling and there was nothing left for him.
"I like you Phuwin, a lot. Honestly I have actually liked you from the moment I first saw you at school here and I knew I couldn't possibly win the love of someone like you because you deserve better. I am not who deserves you and just one night with people in your circle and they can already tell."
Phuwin was too in shock to speak so he started shaking his head to refuse what Pond was saying but it only made him laugh a sharp bitter sound.
"I know you want them to be wrong but they're right. Just me, as I am? It's not enough. I'm sorry, that's not what anyone else wants." Pond turned around to walk past when Phuwin grabbed his hand, making him stop in place.
"What about what I want?" The teary sound of Phuwin's voice made Pond whip his head back scarily quickly.
Phuwin was crying and forgetting all his earlier worries and need for distance Pond instinctively rushed to comfort him but he didn't want the comfort, tears seeming to flow more.
"Nobody ever asks me what I want. I want you Pond! I have loved you from the moment you stopped in the rain to fix a car without knowing or caring who was in it. That's when I fell in love with you. Seeing how hard you've worked for everything you have. Your family. You gave me the world for my birthday. How do you expect me to just let you go? I want you and I love you. If you don't want me back then I want you to say it, don't make it seem like you're giving me up for my happiness. Because you're my happiness Pond. I can't help loving you. I am uncertain about many things but I only have few things I'm sure of but I am certain about one thing though. You, just you as you are? Is more than enough. " Pond pulled Phuwin closer, stroked his hair and wiped away his tears.
"It's okay. I'm sorry. I love you. I'm sorry. Please don't cry." Pond begged and Phuwin hugged him, stopping his sniffles and trying his hardest to calm down his little hiccups.
"We'll handle this together, okay? Me and you." Pond said, hugging Phuwin close and they were both able to get the comfort they both needed.
- - -
Dunk arrived immediately it was 7am, which was the standard visiting time. For the past week since Joong came to the hospital he had been faithfully coming by 7 and leaving by 10 which was when visiting hours ended.'
He knew his attendance would suffer and he did not care, luckily he had Phuwin to talk to the professors for him. Joong was attached to the many wires, bleeping and keeping him alive.
Joong's wrist was deeply slit and he had lost so much blood. Dunk was glad he had arrived the time he did. He had called the emergency line. Joong had flat lined four times and Dunk had genuinely lost hope in everything but Joong was alive.
He was in a coma but the doctors said everything was stable and all that they medically could do was wait for him to wake up.
It had been seven days and Dunk refused to waver in his hope.
He made the nurses teach him how to give a sponge bathe and even monitored his vitals and did not leave the room for anything, ensuring to pack his own lunch so he would not have to leave Joong's side. He had done enough of that.
He knew Phuwin felt he had misplaced guilt which was true but not for the reason Phuwin felt. Dunk did not blame himself for not knowing Joong was struggling with his mental health. The boy hid it well and denying that would just be taking away from the ridiculously impressive acting skills he had.
Dunk however blamed himself for being among the people who made Joong feel he was replaceable. The fact that Joong was able to do it and delude himself that it would be helping him was his biggest regret and he would not let Joong die thinking that. Joong could not die. Dunk was feeling a part of his heart missing and he was looking at Joong. He didn't think he would be able to recover if he lost the boy.
He had tried reaching out to Joong's mother but after he sent her a voice mail detailing what happened, he was blocked and could not reach her anymore.
Immediately the hate he had for the woman grew. She had brought such a beautiful soul as a child but decided against knowing him because of the situation he was brought in.
Dunk shook himself from those thoughts because he saw Joong's fingers move on his unharmed arm. Not that it was completely unharmed as Joong was filled with fading scars on his arms, laps, and even stomach, but it was not the hand he had slit to land himself in the current state.
Dunk held his hands, talking softly to him.
"Joong, you need to wake up quickly. There's a new ride at the amusement park that I need you to ride with me. I'll hate it but you'll love it, so you need to come with me or else what's the point?"
Dunk felt tears well up in his eyes and he blinked them down, sniffling as he gripped Joong's hands tighter.
"Joong I want to tell you something. It's a secret I am trusting you with. But you have to wake up to hear it." His tears were rushing out more at this point, he could not remember the last time he cried this much and he hated the feeling on his cheeks but he could not let go of Joong's hands to wipe them away.
Suddenly, the beeping of the heart monitor made him raise his head up in a panic.
He called the doctor quickly and he was pushed outside the room and the door was closed.
Closing his eyes, he felt the strange feeling of finality, as the nurses rushed in and out.
He knew this moment would be major moment that would decide if he ever saw Joong again and the feeling of regret settled on him like a weighted blanket.
He wished he had been better to the boy.
He wished Joong knew he loved him.
He wished Joong would wake up.
The machine gave a beep.
Another beep.
Then a long drawn out beep.
- - -
Gemini smiled as he saw Fourth heading towards him with a big bag obviously holding his books and his study treats, sliding on the bench beside him instead of opposite.
Immediately after their breakup, Fourth had apologized to him and promised to be a better person to him and it was detrimental to his mental health how much he kept his promise.
Gemini could feel the shift, it was obvious to everyone who had seen them prior to the breakup and now after it. Fourth was acting like he had imagined he would act.
Now it felt like he was the one Fourth liked, but at the same time he was scared to go back to dating incase he had just felt guilt and wanted to rectify it.
However the way he was being treated now was making matters worse as he knew he was falling even harder for the boy.
"Hey are you okay?" Fourth asked and Gemini nodded. "Yeah I'm fine. Just worried and happy about Phi Joong. He was really the one who protected me from my bullies and I was so worried when he was hurt. I'm glad he's awake now, but he still wouldn't be coming back anytime soon." He said and Fourth nodded.
The two had gone to visit Joong twice when he was in the hospital and met Dunk who always sat there guarding him.
"Well at least he had Phi Dunk. He doesn't ever have to feel alone again." Fourth said and Gemini frowned a bit which he could see Fourth caught.
"Yes, he never has to feel alone again, but at the same time it is going to be hard to get him to believe that. Wounds don't stop hurting because they're stitched."
Fourth smiled sadly at him. "Is that why you don't believe me when I say that I love you?" He asked making Gemini gape for a few seconds before he collected himself back together.
"My heart believes you and loves you. However my mind is scared. Scared that you'll stop loving me when you realize how much I actually am. Maybe it is best to see the best parts of someone else in me, instead of seeing me as the real deal that I'm not."
Fourth pulled him close to himself in a hug. "I like you Gemini. Not anyone else. You." he whispered into his ears. "And I know why you cannot trust me easily and I deserve it, but Gem, you're the one I want to stand beside and I'll make sure you never have to doubt that again."
Gemini smiled and pecked his lips softly, giggling at the cartoony expression of shock on the face of the boy he loved. "Wounds would become worse if you don't try to treat them. I'll give you a chance, don't mess it up."
Smiling at each other, they cuddled together and continued studying.
- - -
[6 MONTHS LATER]
"Come on Phuwin, we're already late, knowing Gemini they're already there." Pond half complained, half whined carrying the large picnic basket he and Phuwin were supposed to be carrying together.
"Well the picnic was for 2 and it's just 2:20, Gem is just freakishly on time everywhere." Phuwin teased and Pond rolled his eyes fondly at his boyfriend. "You had better not say that in front of Fourth. The two of you would get into another argument again."
"Teasing each other is our love language."
Not wanting to argue with Phuwin, Pond just laughed as he spotted an excited Gemini waving to them on a spread blanket.
They sat down and Pond handed the basket over to Fourth who was spreading things on the mat to get ready.
Pond's father had been treated and it reduced his workload severely. He reduced his shifts on all the jobs he had and the bar owner was so glad he was finally taking a well deserved break he increased his pay for his good service.
In basketball he was doing well and he could focus on his studies more without the added stress. His father went back to work and his mother kept calling him, apologetic and thankful. However Pond was just happy his family was back.
"Are we late. or are you monsters just early?'' Joong teased and Pond turned around to see Joong and Dunk grinning at them with their own picnic basket.
"Next time I'll tell you guys it's 1:30 so we'll all arrive by 2." Gemini complained pouting and everyone laughed at his antics.
They all sat down and Joong turned to Dunk. "Want a churro Phi?" He asked teasingly and Dunk rolled his eyes but could not mask the fondness as he nodded. Joong put half the stick in his mouth and turned to Dunk who just bit it like he was expecting the move.
"Couples are so disgusting." Phuwin spat and Fourth raised his eyebrows. "says the couple who had their six months anniversary a week ago." he retorted and when they started arguing and Joong hugged him tighter like the over grown teddy bear he was, Dunk knew that six months ago he did not expect anything like this would be happening.
[flashback]
"Mr. Natachai, he's awake. You can go in and see him now."
Dunk did not wait for the rest of what the doctor had to say as he rushed into the room.
Joong was propped on the bed, with less wires than before, still pale but his eyes locked on Dunk and the expression on his face was that of guilt, fear and apprehension. He looked like he was waiting for judgement.
Dunk rushed over and hugged him tightly.
From how tense he was, it was safe to say that a hug was the one thing he did not expect.
"You stupid, beautiful, annoying, careless, kind, maniac of a boy. Did you think not seeing you for the rest of my life would make me happy? How dare you try to leave me after stealing my heart you thief." Dunk held him tightly, feeling his own tension melt away in the boy's arms.
"I'm sorry Dunk. I love you and I thought you would be happier without me, staking my claim and pestering you."
"I LOVE YOU." Dunk stated clearly and Joong's shocked face spurred him on. "I want you. All of you. Every single part of you that makes you, you."
"I am so sorry I ever made you doubt that. I really am."
They hugged each other and Joong started crying which made Dunk pet him quietly, promising himself he would protect the boy from anything that harmed him.
Joong started intensive therapy and Dunk was mandated to attend some with him. They grew with each other, so when Joong asked Dunk out three months after the incident, the answer was obvious to both.
[end of flashback]
The picnic was a fun get together and they played games and ate food until night fall when they lay down on their blankets staring at the sky.
The summer vacation was coming to a close and while they knew their lives were just starting, it didn't seem as bad and bleak as it had felt earlier.
They had each other now.
To love and to be in love.