Chapter Text
With my sister was distracted by her new boyfriend, I had some time to do some investigating. Instead of relaxing by the fountain, I asked around to see if anyone knew who my stalker was. I found quite varied reports of her depending on who I spoke to. She seemed multi-talented, and had at various points belonged to several of the school’s clubs. She didn’t seem to be on particularly bad terms with anyone, but she also didn’t seem to have any close friends. The only slight exceptions to the rule were the delinquents who hung out near the furnace. True, they weren’t particularly forthcoming with information. In fact, one of the girls shoved me out of the way when she thought I was too close to her, and that was about as close to a conversation as I could get out of them. I heard them sniggering as I left, and I thought I heard some of them muttering about “little sis has weird taste”, but I couldn’t be sure.
What I did know was that she had carried out favours and complimented people and spread a flurry of gossip all over the school. On the whole, my knight seemed to have cultivated a nice reputation for herself as a quiet, helpful classmate who was very honest about other people’s behaviour. “That’s all very interesting,” I said to Saki Miyu, “but does she have a name?”
Saki’s eyes widened and she laughed at her previous enthusiastic chatter. “Oh, her name is Ayano Aishi, but nobody really calls her ‘Ayano’. Most of us call her Yan!”
“Ayano Aishi.” Her name was lovely, I thought. I liked sounding it out in my head. “Do you know where she hangs out?”
“Oh, she’s always running around.” Saki’s voice became quieter. “She’s always running around and trying to find stuff to do, you know? I hardly ever see Yan without cleaning supplies. And she does track when she’s got time. And she’s always asking people if they need anything done, or telling them that they look lovely…” Saki trailed off. “When Kokonah was… before she… you know. Yan was so nice. That whole week she made sure to be nice to Kokonah. I just, like, figured that she was kind of weird before that week. But she changes what she’s doing to do nice things for people. So… I don’t know where she’ll be right now, or later.” Saki cleared her throat and tried to smile convincingly. “Maybe you should leave her a note! You know, in her locker!”
I smiled at Saki and hoped that it looked warm and friendly. Underneath her concealer, her eyes were pink from constantly crying. It wasn’t my business, and it had no impact on me either way, but I didn’t want her to think I didn’t care about her troubles. I really couldn’t have cared less about Saki’s problems, but that was beside the point. Being enamoured with a murderer was one thing, but pointless rudeness was quite another. “Thanks Saki. That’s a really good idea. I’ll go do that now.” I left as quickly as I could without being abrasive, positive that I wasn’t being followed (for once). It wasn’t hard to find Yan’s locker. I just had to ask one of the friendly sports club people to point it out to me, and there I was. I thought about picking the lock with one of my hairpins, but lock picking wasn’t something that I had picked up on my earlier search for fulfilment. I pulled a pen and paper from my locker, and then found myself paused in front of Yan’s locker. What should I say to her? Meet me beneath the cherry blossom tree on Friday after class? No, I couldn’t sound too presumptuous. Yan, the thought of you makes me sleepless? Not a chance. That was too forward for an anonymous note.
The right words came to me and I smiled at my own thoughts. I quickly scribbled the note and slid it into Yan’s locker and bolted back to my classroom. My legs were shaking. I stumbled to my seat and gripped onto the edges of my desk, knuckles turning white from the pressure. I had done it. I had done it and there was no going back after this point.
I know what you are, and I understand you.
I knew, I understood, and I loved Ayano Aishi more than I could put into words. And if she didn’t invite me to stand under the school cherry blossom tree on the hill and confess her undying love for me, I was going to have to take matters into my own hands.
As it happened, I didn’t have too long to wait for a response to my letter. It was still far too long for someone as impatient as me, but come Friday morning, I had a note in my locker inviting me to stand underneath the cherry tree after class. The day couldn’t go by quickly enough, and by the time class ended at half past three I practically leapt from my chair and bolted to the nearest bathroom. I was meant to be meeting my ‘anonymous’ admirer at half past four. That left me half an hour to check my appearance in the bathroom mirror, brush the dust off my uniform and re-plait my hair. I pondered asking one of the girls I knew for some make-up, but I decided against it. Yan had seen horrific things. I highly doubted that she would object to my natural face.
I slipped out of the bathroom and walked towards the cherry tree. I kept my pace as slow and steady as possible, but I found that my legs were shaking again and keeping my composure was more difficult than I could ever have anticipated. Somehow I managed to make my way over to the tree, looking more or less like I was in control of all my functions. I wasn’t. I was nowhere near as in control as I would have liked to be. But I was underneath the cherry blossom tree, and I could see Yan approaching. My heart fluttered in my chest as I watched her come closer. Her head was bowed, and her hands were fidgeting the way they did whenever she was around me. She was so cute. There wasn’t a thing about her I didn’t adore, from her grey eyes to her calloused hands to her brightly polished shoes.
Yan came to a halt in front of me. She raised her head and looked at me, as if she was seeing me in a whole new light. I smiled dazzlingly.
Yan blushed and bowed her head again. “Yamada…” she began. “I… I know that this is the first time we’ve spoken, but…”
I took pity on her. “My name is Hanako. Please, it would make me very happy if you would call me that.”
Yan nodded, and her fidgeting hands stilled.
“And, if you don’t think it’s too forward, it would make me very happy if you would let me know what to call you.”
Yan blushed. “Of course. My name is Ayano Aishi. You can call me Ayano or Yan. ‘Yan’ is what most people… it’s my nickname.”
“Yan… Ayano is a beautiful name, but so is Yan.”
“Then please. Call me Yan.” Yan seemed to gain confidence from my words and she smiled at me as she spoke. “Hanako, I asked you to meet me here because I want to confess my feelings for you.”
“I have something to confess to you too, Yan.” I said. I closed the distance between us and I took her hands in mine. “I know what you are.” A look of utter horror crossed Yan’s face and I savoured it, I savoured the knowledge that my words had the power to destroy us both in an instant. “I know what you’ve been doing. I saw you weeks ago, I saw you sneak into the cookery club. I know that girl was innocent. I know what you did to them all.”
“I… I can explain!” Yan tried to say, but I interrupted her.
“I knew it was you, I knew you were stalking me, I knew you were keeping everyone away.” I could feel Yan’s hands trembling. I brought them to my lips and kissed them softly. “Don’t mistake me, Yan. I know what you are and I love you. You make me feel loved and desired.”
At that Yan started to sob and hugged me. I held her as she cried and kissed her head. “My love. My Yan.” I held Yan in my arms for what felt like an age. My uniform was damp with her tears by the time I let her go. I kissed her on the forehead and saw her smile. Yan’s smile was so beautiful. I hardly ever saw her smile, but when she smiled at me it put every scenic park or shrine I had ever visited to shame. Knowing that I was the thing that made her so happy, knowing that this woman felt so much because of me… it felt wonderful.
“I love you too.” Yan said. “I want us to be together. I want us to be girlfriends. And I want us to be together, whatever happens.”
I could picture my life with Yan ending in various different ways. Things were improving for people like us. We could live together, maybe even have a child. Maybe if laws changed, we could get married. I pictured us both living a happy domestic life. Maybe we’d run away somewhere nobody knew us and start over, just us two against the world. Maybe we could both go to a university and get away from home that way. Yan could deal with anyone who got in our way. I could provide a very convincing alibi.
Creeps like us belonged together.
_
That should have been our very own happily ever after, but of course, life got in the way of that. More specifically, my parents got in the way of our happiness. I introduced them to Yan as my friend, but my mum thought there was something off about her. My dad didn’t really notice anything, he was too busy giving my little sister’s boyfriend the evil eyes and telling my sister very loudly that she should be back at a reasonable time and that in his day she wouldn’t have been allowed out of the house in an outfit like that. It was the usual nonsense he spouted whenever he thought one of us was out of line. Things could have gone on quite easily if I hadn’t heard my parents talking one night. My mum was telling my dad that she thought Yan was creepy and she didn’t trust her around me. She was a ‘bad girl’.
Well, my mum wasn’t wrong. She was far closer to the truth than she realised. But she didn’t hate Yan because she was a killer. I wasn’t even sure that she hated Yan because she wasn’t good at talking to most people or had once been part of the delinquent’s little gang that hung around at the school incinerator. No, my mum hated Yan because she was far too close to me, both physically and emotionally. Yan liked to sit as close to me as she could, and we were always holding hands or cuddling together and it made my mum feel record levels of discomfort. I had known that she would be weird about Yan if she knew that in this murderous young woman I had found my other half. I just didn’t expect her to scrutinise every move I made from that point onwards.
Of course, I couldn't let my parents win. I refused to give up Yan. Everybody thought she was the sweetest girl in school, if a bit awkward. Everybody thought that I was a perfect student, if a bit insular at times. I was furious with my parents for not getting it. Yan and I were the perfect couple. I didn't expect them to understand the reality of the situation. I didn't expect them to understand us as we really were, but the least they could do was look the other way for our happiness. For my happiness.
Sadly, neither of them quite got the memo.
My mother was the one to broach the subject of me finding some other friends - "What about those sweet girls from school dear? Ayano is a bit... odd. Wouldn't you be better off with some other friends?" I couldn't tell her that Yan was more than a friend. I couldn't even tell her that Yan was my future, or that being with her felt like I had found a piece of my destiny that had previously been hidden from me for years. She wouldn't understand. So I smiled, nodded at her, and made sure that I appeared to be every inch the dutiful daughter. Then I asked to be excused from the dinner table to do my homework upstairs. I kept my smile in place until I was safely in my room. The second I gently closed the door I was shaking with anger. I had never felt such rage before. How could she? How could she dare?
I sat at my desk with my head in my hands. I could barely think about anything calmly, let alone homework. Somehow I struggled through the chapters I had been assigned for the next day, and then I looked at my phone. Yan had sent me a picture of herself in a cute wig, and the sight of her made me smile. I forgot for a moment that my mother was being so utterly unreasonable, until I realised that without parental approval, I wouldn't be able to see Yan properly. Unless...
Unless my parents were no longer a problem.
I sent Yan a photo of me in my PJs. /Sleep now. See you tomorrow, usual place. :)/
I set the alarm on my phone and got into bed, mind whirring. There had to be a way out of this unfortunate situation, but I would need help.
_
I met Yan in the cooking club at lunch. Nobody tended to use it during break, so it was relatively easy to sneak in. It was too short a time to do much, but we could exchange kisses in relative privacy, and that was more than we could get anywhere else in the school. The roof might have seemed like a more obvious choice, but if anyone walked in on us up there, it would be immediately obvious what we had been doing. Yan was a member of the cooking club, and she was always making food. It wasn't odd for her to be there, and everybody knew that we were an item. It made sense for us to be there together.
Yan followed me into the room and shut the sliding door behind her. Without saying a word she kissed me, her nose crinkling beautifully as she smiled up at me. I held her face in my hands and returned her kiss, thinking about how beautiful this woman was, and how much I stood to lose if I was anything less than careful. "Yan." I said. "Would you do anything for me?"
"Yes." Yan answered me without hesitation.
"Even if it meant getting rid of someone?"
There was a steely determination in Yan's eyes as she said, "I would kill anybody for you. I would kill everyone in school if you wanted it. If I had to. There's nobody I wouldn't kill to protect our love."
This was why I loved her. I was overcome with Yan's words, and I kissed her harshly, pushing her against the worktop. "My parents don't approve of you." I said, in-between kisses. "My mother wants me to find other friends. My father will side with her, my sister will want me to be happy." I looked up at Yan and saw her rapt expression as she listened to me condemning my parents to death. "I want them gone."
Yan kissed my head and hugged me, stroking my hair as she thought. "Your sister's going to that concert next weekend, right?"
"Right."
"Hm." Yan smiled serenely. "Leave it to me."
_
My beautiful, darling Yan planned everything to perfection.
I begged my mother to let me stay over at Yan's for the weekend. I feigned concern for how little time my parents had alone together, and she came round to the idea that it would do her and my father some good to have a quiet, romantic weekend to themselves while my sister and I were otherwise occupied. It was easy enough for me to loosen some of the wires around the house and make sure that my mother's sleeping pills were crushed into the wine she had bought for their night in. My parents both took sleeping pills sometimes - it wasn't much of a leap of imagination to suspect that they would be stupid enough to mix drugs and alcohol. And if an electrical appliance in the kitchen had been left on my mother (or switched on sneakily by Yan, who snuck in through an open window), well, it was just a tragic accident. It could have been avoided if my parents had taken more care with their medication, but by the time anyone noticed anything amiss, the house was ablaze with fire.
Neither Yan or I were suspects. Yan's mother was very convincing. They asked some questions about where we had been, just to follow protocol, and she duly reported that we had been there all night. She said that even though she knew Yan had left the house at least once. As she pointed out, "Neither of them could have left without me knowing, they were here all night watching TV shows... oh, that poor girl!"
Poor me indeed. My sister came home from her trip away to the news that she was now an orphan. When she came home, the first thing she did was collapse in my arms and weep. I comforted her as best as I could. I was elated. A massive weight had lifted from me, but it wouldn't do to let my dear sister know that. So I played the part. Yan's mother was so lovely - she let both of us stay and helped us make the arrangements for the funeral. There was not a thing out of place. I had no doubt that my mother would have approved of the simple Buddhist ceremony. My father wouldn't have cared either way, but I gave my performance as a grieving orphan. I was rather convincing, or so Yan told me later when everyone else was gone.
Luckily for me, my parents had planned for the possibility of their deaths and the house was insured. My sister and I were both due an inheritance. There was enough for us to live off of and then more for us to pay for our college fees and expenses. We could have lived together, but my sister didn't want to be an adult quite so quickly. Our aunt kindly decided to move nearer to the school, so that our education wouldn't be interrupted by the untimely demise of our parents. She worked from home, so it didn't really make much difference to her where she was doing her work. I was grateful that she was frequently busy. It meant that I could visit Yan as often as I pleased, and nobody asked any awkward questions. I was taking comfort in my best friend in my time of need. Nobody could doubt that I needed some time and space to grieve.
I didn't, naturally enough. But it was nice to have time and space to spend with Yan. No more of the silly hiding in the shadows for us. We still had to sneak around a bit, but my aunt didn't much care what I was getting up to, and I didn't see that it was any of her business whether my relationship with Yan was platonic or anything but. Yan was free to stay over at my aunt’s place whenever, and I was a frequent guest at the Aishi household. Yan’s mother made amazing meals, and was always full of chatter about this or that. She was easy to talk to. Yan’s father was more reserved, but he wasn’t ever openly hostile. Just under a lot of stress, I assumed. I could only imagine that he spent all his time striving to make life perfect for his wife. After all, his wife was so sweet and agreeable.
_
Sooner than I could have anticipated, it was time for me to think about what I was going to do with the rest of my life. Yan was staying at school for another year, and whilst I had been accepted to several universities there wasn’t one that I really wanted to go to. Instead, I opted to take some time out. My aunt and sister were both very understanding. They thought I was still badly shaken by my parents’ tragic accident, and that I needed some time to myself. In any case, it wasn’t as if I was being idle in the meantime. I had a part-time job in a wedding boutique, and I was learning a lot about designing and making clothing. I was surrounded by so many beautiful gowns, and I couldn’t help but dream about wearing one myself. In my spare time I would sketch Yan in various bridal outfits, sending her snaps of my work when I had a spare moment. I loved sending her my work. Whenever I saw her she would smile and blush and try to hide her face if I told her how beautiful she would look in white.
It was actually Yan who pointed me in the right direction. “You’re so good at this.” She told me one day, when we met up for a date in town. “Why don’t you do it for real?”
I had to admit, I was interested in the prospect. So I applied to a much different set of courses with a portfolio of my best work. I could easily afford the fees, and I had money enough to move out of my aunt’s house. Of course I would need my own place, with enough room for Yan.
I couldn’t very well leave Yan behind, now could I?
_
“Darling, I’m home!”
I swept into our gorgeous apartment, carefully stepping out of my heels and into my slippers. I shrugged out of my coat and hung it up before I headed for the kitchen. Yan was in the middle of preparing a delicious meal for us both, but she paused in her task to come and kiss me. “Welcome home. Let me get you something to drink while you relax.”
Yan bustled off to bring me some iced tea, and I looked around at our apartment appreciatively. My years at college and my busy networking had served me well. In five years, I had gone from an unknown to a recognised designer. My dresses were touted as romantic and made a big impact on the runway. I had just recently been approached to design the wedding dress of an infamous former idol. It was an exciting time, and through it all Yan had been by my side. Instead of making a career, she had supported me and taken on jobs wherever she could to help when I was starting up. Now that I was earning more than enough for both of us to live luxuriously, Yan stayed at home and kept our apartment pristine. She cooked, cleaned and made sure that I remembered to eat and sleep during intense projects. We could have afforded a housekeeper, but Yan insisted on doing it herself. She took pleasure in being my housekeeper, and she kept me very well. Despite the bags under my eyes, Yan still adored me as much as she had when we first met. I loved her more than I could properly articulate.
Yan set down my iced tea and bustled off to finish dinner, radiating an aura of contentment and cheerfulness. I sipped my drink and thought about the week ahead. In my bag along with some of the preliminary sketches for the wedding dress, I had hidden away a ring box. I had told Yan all that time ago that I wanted our engagement to be just right, and Yan never begrudged me romantic flair. My original plan had been for us to go away for the weekend, and while we were drinking champagne in our room after a luxurious spa day, I would propose properly.
Unfortunately, things had taken a different turn.
Yan called me to the table for dinner, and as I sat down Yan served me a plate of curry. She always served me before she helped herself. Yan got a kick out of seeing me enjoy her food, she had once explained to me. “How was your day darling? You were working with those new models, right?”
It was a fashion shoot for a magazine cover. The models were posing in various outfits I had made, the centrepiece being the bride’s dress. I was exceptionally proud of that one. It was light and dotted with pearls, so that even the slightest movement made the dress billow. The suit I had made to accompany it was nothing special – plain white, with a blue waistcoat. Wedding suits like that bored me, and I wasn’t happy that it was such a dull design. The model wearing it, however, kept telling me how much he liked it and how perfectly it fitted him. The bride was perfectly polite and professional, but the groom was an arrogant prat who thought it was acceptable to flirt with a designer because he was wearing her clothes. And oh, the man made my blood boil. Underneath my cool exterior and calm smile, I was seething.
There was nothing I could do about it, naturally. He was a popular model. It was better to just let it go, or so my co-workers would have told me.
“The shoot had a slight problem.”
“Oh?” Yan put down her cutlery as soon as she heard my tone of voice. “What went wrong?”
“The man who was modelling my suit had a poor attitude.” I gave a short laugh. “He had the audacity to flirt with me. In front of everyone, as if he was something special.”
All of the cheer drained from Yan. Her eyes became hard and steely, and I saw once more the beautiful killer I had fallen for so long ago. Those days felt so long ago, and we had been happy for so long they felt more like a dream. A dream I recalled fondly, certainly, but a dream all the same. Yan’s determination was a tangible reminder that anyone who sought to wreck our peace was not long for this world. “What a mistake.”
“Quite.” I agreed, filling my glass with wine. “He’s one of those playboy types. You know the ones. They’re loud, rude, obnoxious…”
“Does he drive one of those stupid sports cars?”
I thought for a moment. “Yes. I think it’s a red Acura…”
Some of the tension left Yan’s body and she managed a smile. “Well. It would be terrible if something were to go wrong. Those silly young men with their fast cars are an accident waiting to happen.”
If the model in question happened to have a horrible accident that weekend, well, that was just an unfortunate coincidence. And if Yan and I had to downgrade our plans to go away that weekend to a quiet night at home because Yan had an important errand to run, well who was I to deny the woman of my dreams anything?
After all, it didn’t matter how much time passed, or how happy we were the majority of the time. I fell in love with Yan because I knew exactly who and what she was. And creeps like us…
We always belong together.