Chapter Text
While Margaret Hale and John Thornton are thoroughly enraptured in love’s young dream, Certain Events of Importance were happening at Bag End.
To wit – Oin won the bet.
For the sake of Bilbo’s sanity, he did not inquire too much into the details of said bet, only that Oin, the sneaky sod, had won it and that it had everything to do with the Interesting Scene taking place in Bilbo’s garden. Bofur had protested that he was the one who had gotten the couple to dance but everyone finally agreed that it was Oin who had won the whole thing.
Nori had been sensible enough to actually bet on Oin so he was rather smug about the whole business.
Dwalin apparently won something extra for his remark about Certain Conversations with Grasper and Keeper, which Fili, apparently, was taking note of, when it came to Certain Peculiar Goings-On between Kili and Certain Elves. It didn’t help that Thorin was evidently pleased with what Dwalin said and was probably making his own notes for future reference.
Threatening potential Elven in-laws could wait. Bilbo and Thorin needed to have a Conversation.
His kitty-fied husband was all too willing to jump into Bilbo’s arms, settling into his embrace with a contented purr.
“You know, when we started the whole Thorin is a Giant Werebunny thing, we weren’t expecting it to actually come true?” Kili remarked.
Thorin growled.
“Well, he’s not a Giant Rabbit, he’s currently a cat and if you’ll excuse me, boys, my husband and I need to discuss his current state,” Bilbo said crisply.
There was an unhappy mew from Thorin, followed by a forlorn nuzzle under his chin. “It’s actually not so bad, you know,” Bilbo murmured, which made Thorin’s ears twitch with interest.
The Dwarves, of course, were all too happy to let King and Consort have their privacy. Fili and Kili claimed that they already had enough nightmare fuel to last them for a lifetime and scampered out of the way before Thorin could leap at them. Not that he was actually willing to leave Bilbo’s arms, but it was good to keep the Nephews on their toes.
Bilbo thought that their bedroom would be a good place to have their Conversation. Not that this should take too long.
“You know, the only reason why I knew not to panic?” Bilbo told his husband, who was, in cat form, a very snuggly weight in his arms. “You were so very calm and very pleased that you were not a cute little kitten anymore.”
There was an apologetic mew and then a hiss at the “cute kitten” remark.
“Don’t look at me like that – you do make a very cute kitten,” Bilbo chided him. “Also, despite your best efforts, Your Moggy Majesty – you’re still a very cute cat.”
Big blue eyes blinked at him.
“You realize that you’re flirting with me right now. As a cat,” Bilbo pointed out dryly. “And this is outright adorable.”
A nuzzle followed, with a low rumbling purr.
“As entertaining as this is right now, there is one distinct disadvantage,” Bilbo continued, still in that dry tone.
There was a distinctly inquiring mew.
“Well, how on earth will I kiss my husband properly and have my wicked way with him if he persists in being a cat?”
It happened very fast. One minute, it seemed that Bilbo had an armful of Thorin-cat and the next, he was pressed against his door by a very naked, very aroused Dwarf. And this time, when Bilbo got nuzzled by his husband in his proper form, he tended to find it less amusing and far more interesting.
He did, however, try to maintain his composure. It was only fair after all.
“I can’t believe you somehow managed to tweak Radagast’s spell,” Bilbo said in a surprisingly steady voice. “Then again, you seem to make a habit of surprising me.”
“It was interesting – once I’d gotten the knack of it,” Thorin murmured in his ear, prior to catching the lobe very, very gently in his teeth. “I believe you were saying something about having your wicked way?”
Oh no. Bilbo was not going to be sidetracked. At least, not yet anyway. With an effort, he gently pushed Thorin away from whatever was so interesting about his neck and his ears, just far enough so that he could look at him properly, framing his beloved’s face with his hands. He also tried not to be too distracted by noting how surprisingly soft his husband’s beard tended to be, not to mention how good it felt to sink his fingers into sable hair.
“You realize, you ridiculous Dwarf, that you don’t need to turn cat to set aside the King, as I know you wish to, at times? Especially not when you’re with me?”
A flush stole across Thorin’s cheeks but there was that small, sweet, shy smile, the one that Bilbo had privately considered his favorite. “I know. And if I did worry you, beloved, even if only for the briefest moment, forgive me.”
Bilbo kissed him in answer, whimpering a little when clever hands cupped his bottom, bringing him flush against his husband’s still very naked body and things might have gone all downhill from there, especially with the contented rumble from Thorin that resembled a purr, when Bilbo abruptly remembered: “Thorin! Our guests!”
“Fili will play host. You’ve taught him well enough that even your Baggins cousins approve.” Thorin pointed out, even as he nibbled at that spot below Bilbo’s jawline, which never failed to make his knees buckle. “And you did mention wicked ways…”
Oh dear.
With some encouragement, Bilbo found his legs wrapping around his husband’s waist and it wasn’t long until they’d manage to hit their bed. Thorin did have a point, even as Bilbo was expertly distracted by more delicious, biting kisses that he returned with plenty of interest. Fili was now skilled enough to play host at Bag End…
***
In the course of her visit here to Middle-earth, Margaret had already learned several things.
Fili was an excellent host.
Going back home would be easily accomplished. There were what Kili called “doorways” that would only open for the Wizards, John, Margaret and the Company. There was one, in fact, in Bilbo’s favorite mathom closet. Margaret and John could easily go back to their respective homes in England and for the people there, it would have been as if they were never gone at all. It was rather interesting that John, who had already made the journey a few times, would always end up in the specific places where the Company happened to be at the moment and usually Thorin would be in the immediate vicinity.
And speaking of Thorin Oakenshield, Margaret finally met the King Under the Mountain in his proper shape, accompanied by a blushing Bilbo Baggins. She tried not to blush herself at the obvious signs that Bilbo was very pleased to have his husband back in his correct form.
As Bilbo had described, Thorin was indeed ridiculously handsome and in the company of his family and closest friends, absolutely adorable.
Kili mentioned majestic and now Margaret could certainly believe she was in the presence of a Dwarf King.
And as Bilbo predicted, she was not five minutes in Thorin’s company and her John’s, before she was already mentally praying for Heavenly Strength.
In fact, she found herself patting Bilbo’s hand in commiseration and said, “I completely understand your predicament now.”
“This is most unfair,” John pretended to complain. “Already you think to tease me, sweet Margaret?”
“Believe me, I am only trying to even up the odds in Bilbo’s favor, as it were,” Margaret returned pertly.
“We were already outnumbered even before you joined us, my dear,” Thorin answered wryly, pressing a quick kiss into Bilbo’s palm. “And now, I think John and I ought to quit the field while we still can.”
“Impressionable children present!” Kili had complained.
Breakfast at Bag End had been rather interesting, both for the food and the conversation.
Had Margaret already noted how good a host Fili had been, in Thorin and Bilbo’s absence? Yes? She felt she had to mention it again. It had been Fili, after all, who had expertly smoothed things over when John and Margaret had returned to Bag End, flushed and happy with the fact that they were now Officially Courting. The Dwarves had been delighted and there was an hour or two spent in cheerful gossip until it was finally time to retire to their respective bedrooms. Fili had been careful to steer Margaret and John away from the general direction of the master bedroom, where Thorin and Bilbo apparently were having a Serious Discussion.
Bag End now had two Man-sized guest bedrooms which were very comfortable indeed. In fact, Margaret had not thought to sleep, not with the good night kiss she and John had managed to steal before he retired to his own room for the night, but sleep she did. And so it was that she was bright of wit when she first met Bilbo’s husband and realized how much mischief the King Under the Mountain and her John (and oh, how her heart thrilled to call him her own, as much as he felt the same for her) could attract together.
Heaven help them all indeed.
After yet another feast for breakfast (truly, these Dwarves and Hobbits loved their food), all of the Dwarves apparently had their respective errands to run – in the Market and at the Green Dragon Inn and all sorts of other places. The Shire, apparently, with some exceptions such as the Sackville-Bagginses, were very used to their Dwarvish visitors and were very pleased to have the King and his Company doing business there.
“Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it’s off to work we go!” Bofur sung out cheerfully and ducked as Dori mimed hitting him.
“I hate that song! Once you start singing it, everyone starts singing it and now I’ll be hearing it in my head the entire day!”
And then, John and Thorin were heard to sing that song, voices blending in beautifully and poor Dori whimpered. Margaret and Bilbo tried not to laugh too hard.
It must be said that nobody actually meant to leave Margaret alone at Bag End. John would not have, but he had previously promised that he would help Thorin, Fili and Kili in something or the other and there was an air of mischief and secrecy about her beloved that told Margaret he was up to something that involved her and that she would look forward to whatever it was he was planning. Bilbo would not have been such a poor host as to leave Margaret without as so much as a by your leave.
But there was elevenses and there was this particular cake that Thorin loved that Bilbo wanted to make for his husband, to celebrate his return to being a Dwarf, not to mention extra treats for Fili and Kili for their brief ordeal as puppies. Bilbo had honestly thought that he would not be too long, as he was just going to borrow said ingredients from his cousin Drogo.
It was the Shire, after all and Margaret was hardly a princess in danger from a wicked and vain Queen.
Nobody really expected Radagast.
***