Chapter Text
Louis lays in his cold hospital bed, wallowing in self-pity, watching as rain trickles down the window. He has no one. He’s alone. Nothing feels right.
He feels empty.
He feels lonely.
He feels regret.
He feels guilt.
He feels pain.
He wishes he would’ve died. He wishes they would’ve let him die. He wants to die.
Why didn’t they let him die?
He’s angry. More at himself than anything else. Why did he post that status on Facebook? He should’ve just done it without a warning.
Then none of this would have happened.
If he had never made that status, then Harry wouldn’t be hurt. Zayn wouldn’t be hurt.
It’s your entire fault.
He knows the voices are right so he pushes down on his wrapped wrist, pushing down on the cuts causing blood to surface through the bandage.
He doesn’t allow himself to cry more than a few minutes because he deserves the pain. He deserves to be dead.
Why didn’t they let him die?
He’s so fucking angry. Angry at everyone. Everyone knows this is his fault. The news did a cover story of the accident and that’s how he found out.
He was laying in bed facing the window when he heard it, ‘Due to a bad car wreck, two young teens of ages 17 and 18 were brought into North Row County Hospital this afternoon. A young Harry Styles and a young Zayn Malik were bro-‘ He stopped listening there.
Everything became numb after that. He knows what they were doing.
They were trying to get to him.
They were trying to save him.
They’re could’ve died trying to save you, you piece of shit.
And he knows the voices in his head are right so he presses down harder on his wrist and cries some more.
…
Its been about a week since Louis got out of the hospital but he hasn’t done anything but lay in bed. He checked his Facebook and Twitter on his second day home and he wasn’t remotely shocked that his notifications were filled with worried family members and friends. He didn’t let the rush of love and affection get to him because it wasn’t fair.
You don’t deserve to feel loved you piece of shit
Its your fault that both Zayn and Harry are in the hospital.
You did this.
You disgusting piece of shit, you should’ve died.
The voices in his head never go away. They’re a constant reminder of what a fuck up he is.
The news is also a reminder of what a fuck up he is. Lately all they’ve been talking about is Harry and Zayn. Ever since reporters found out why Harry and Zayn were in a rush, leading to their accident, his social media accounts have been blown up with hate, threats and the occasional sympathetic tweet or post.
Everyone hates you, you should’ve died.
His family wants to send him away. They think rehab and therapy will help but in all honesty Louis thinks that they don’t want to have to deal with a fuck up like him.
If you go away your family will finally be stress free and happy.
And yeah, Louis knows the voices in his head are right. But before he leaves he has something he needs to do: Apologize to Anne and Trisha.
…
“Anne! That never fucking happened! Me and Harry were never together!”
Talking to Zayn’s mom was easier than talking to Harry’s because Trisha understood that Louis never meant to hurt her boy. She know Louis loves Zayn and vice versa. Anne was a whole other story though. She claimed Harry loves Louis and that Louis cheated on him.
“My son told me he was in love! He loves you and this is how you repay him?! By cheating on him with some no good brat?!” Anne’s face was red with anger from all the pent up frustration.
“Anne please,” Louis begs, “Your son, he was never my boyfriend. You have to underst-”
“I don’t have to understand shit! You broke my boys heart for some good for nothing low-life, you slut!”
Calling Zayn a “good for nothing low-life,” must’ve triggered something in Louis because it was a screaming match from there. He was tired of trying to respect Anne when she kept disrespecting Zayn.
He’s done.
“If anyone is a ‘good for nothing low-life’ then its your fucking son! Your son is the one that’s a fucking slut! He’s a fucking cunt who can’t keep it in his pants! He’s a fucking liar! Why can’t you fucking see it?! We. Never. Dated. Because your slutty ass son can’t be fucking faithful! So fuck what he’s told you. Fuck him and fuck you, you hypocritical bitch!”
With those final words Louis storms out of the Styles household, chest heaving and tears clouding his vision.
Yeah, he’s done.