Chapter Text
**Bilbo POV** In the sudden silence of disbelief Balin stepped forward peering at where Thorin was feeling his child kick my kidneys. "Bilbo lass, how was it exactly you got Smaug to pause long enough to listen to you?" Smiling, Bilbo turned at Balin’s question and said “Oh— he heard the beating of new life beneath my bosom, and wondered at it. He was quite in raptures to his own curiosity. Quite simple really—“ she added, when she realized half the company was lost to her flowery words, though Balin looked horrified and Ori looked ecstatic— “Smaug simply couldn’t argue with a pregnant hobbit, nor do I think could anyone if they know what’s good for them.”
A high keening cry sounding off behind her startled Bilbo, until she whipped around and realized it was coming from Thorin. He kind of sounded like what Bilbo imagined a Warg giving birth to an Oliphant might sound like in its death throes. It was mesmerizing.
The keening wail petered off into a complicated sort of warble, before Thorin’s eyes rolled up as he gracefully (and majestically) fainted dead away.
Ori toed his lifeless body slightly. Bilbo tried not to explode into guffaws as Dori smacked his little brother in the back of the head with wide eyes and a scandalized expression.
Hormones were addling her brain. That shouldn’t be funny, it should be tragic. A tragic loss of decorum and embarrassment besides. Before this quest it would have been so.
Now it was just tragically funny.
Her stomach rumbled and she turned to Nori and Gloin. As she opened her mouth, Nori dropped to both knees in front of her and let loose a string of incomprehensible gibberish while pressing his forehead into the dirt. The rest of the company soon followed his example, reciting something in a soothing rumble that blended well.
It seemed awfully important, whatever they were doing, bowing and scraping like that.
Maybe she shouldn’t have mentioned the pregnancy.
She was kind of hungry though.
Hopefully whatever this is didn’t take much longer.
Was it because of the bairn?
Probably.
Bilbo had heard Dwarrow had low birth rates.
That was probably what this was about.
Suddenly they all grew silent. Bilbo noticed that Nori was still pressed into the dirt, and that he couldn’t stay there if she was going to get real food anytime soon, since he was half of the people required to get provisions.
She got as far as “Okay then…” before they all rose, which was a relief. “Nori, Gloin…” and oddly— Gloin seemed to come to stand more stiffly at her calling him out— “Try to get something other than fish? I’ve been craving sweet rolls for ages. I can make them myself after today, but something hearty for tonight would be nice.”
Nori grinned, all teeth, before sketching a bow and turning to do just that. He barely even slowed as he passed the fallen king, to pilfer the gold that Thorin had taken when Bilbo had offered it.
Gloin seemed to stare intently at her for a moment before bowing as well and following.
The rest of the company was still sort of staring at her.
It was so awkward.
She looked back at Thorin. Glancing at Ori, she picked up a foot and hovered it over Thorin’s shoulder. Ori’s face contorted.
She grasped the sleeve of his left arm in the first three curled toes of her left foot and yanked a little, but he was still unresponsive.
Bother.
**Dwalin’s POV**
Watching the suddenly and inexplicably pregnant female toe at Thorin’s shirt made something bubble in his chest that Dwalin had never felt before.
Dis— ah. Well, if The little one didn’t tear Thorin’s head off, his sister would manage it.
Something in him struggled at the thought that he’d seen his grand sovereign being sodomized in the middle of camp more than once. He felt guilt at allowing it to happen, and not a little shame on behalf of Thorin not even noticing. Because he knew Thorin— in all ways, and Thorin never would have treated a female thus if he’d known. Definitely should have scarred his face up a bit. Thorin really had just gone too long without pussy.
Dwalin thought a moment and realized he didn’t really know what type of person Bilbo Baggins of the Line of Durin was. He’d been writing her off as just the piece of ass that Thorin indulged in, more of a sex toy than a person. Thorin had been hoarding the (not so much a) burglar all to himself.
How in Aulë had Thorin managed to impregnate a hobbit without noticing? He’d seen enough to know that their anatomy wasn’t that odd, though He’d never seen much come to think about it, so it’s not like he could be blamed for not noticing their dragon wrangler was female—
Ah.
The dragon.
Not something Dwalin was looking forward to.
**Smaug POV**
His subject eventually returned, and hearing the scrape and jangle of others following her— she’d already brought him More Subjects! It’d only been a week! He arrayed himself with poise to highlight the magnificent arch of his neck and the glimmer of the gold around him for best first impression.
He smiled, showing off his pearly fangs.
Should he flare his wings, or was that too pretentious? He hesitated, undecided, and ended up caught with his wings half spread as they all pilled into the chamber, and watching them walk without care for how close to the gold they came, he suddenly realized he hadn’t warned his subject about the danger there (it had honestly slipped his mind).
One of the copper-headed ones almost tripped into a pile of gold, and his claw snatched him up in a flash.
It was male, and stenched of panic. He wrinkled his snout at it, and put it back with the others before the smell stuck to his scales.
“Be wary of the gold you see here,” he said severely, turning his head so he could look at them all straight on. “it is imbued with a dark magic that will poison you if you let it.” He warned.
The group huddled gratifyingly closer together at that. Good. They were listening to him already! He had this king thing down. If only his mother could see him now!
She had always said he wouldn’t amount to much, that his life was practically worthless.
Ha!
Turning towards his new subjects, he folded his wings and settled back into the gold, looking at the furry little people that he now owned.
The female- Bilba? No- it was a sword type— Bilbo! Bilbo stepped forward, and a pointy-faced one with dark fur panicked and tried to pull her back until she slapped him back into sulky .
“King Smaug!” She said, “I present to you your subjects! The first I’d like you to meet is Gloin, this the eldest red-head here.” And one of the copper headed ones stepped forward respectively. “He is a master of coin and accounting! He will be in charge of making sure that no one cheats you!” continued Bilbo.
Ooooh. that was a good choice. He had a pleasant coloring too.
“He has a wife and a son, who will join him in a few months time.”
Oooh. Maybe he could breed that color into his subjects?
“His Brother Oin is a medic.” Smaug snorted. As if he cared for medics. The medic snorted back. Smaug tried not to smile.
“The other red-head is Ori! He is a cousin of the first.” She explained. “He is a scribe, and will take down any histories and laws, as well as any stories or things you would like to be remembered, in order to enrich your subjects with knowledge and to immortalize your words!”
He supposed that would be good in some respects, but since He was going to live forever, perhaps he should retain the right to edit stuff he’d said earlier every ten years or something.
“These are his brothers!” two moved forward, light of hair. One like white gold, another like mithril. “Nori is your new spymaster, who will help manage the petty politics of your subjects, to make sure that none would endeavor to hurt you from within the mountain.” Bilbo explained.
His first subject was wily. He laid his head down on his claws, contemplating the new intricacies of his kingdom. Politics sounded like they’d be a bore, but the subjects introduced so far seemed to be perfect to reduce that headache.
“the oldest here is Dori, who is a tradesman who deals in exotic goods! He will be trading for riches beyond just precious metals and stones.”
At that Smaug had to interrupt. “If you have intention to trade with any of the gold here, you will have to purify it beforehand. It retains the stench of Morgoth.”
Bilbo frowned up at him. “If it is so poisonous, are you harming yourself by laying in it?”
Ah. How to explain…
“I am unharmed. The gold is leaching the curse from my being- as Eru illuvitar sung us into existence, Morgoth sung a discord into the world. That discord is the poison that can only be leached by the refined metals that other races hold dear.” Smaug pushed a small mountain of gold away from the Mithril haired one- Dori, and watched it cascade towards the lower floors.
“These coins hold my madness at bay. Without them I am but a beast.”
It was ridiculous how little the other races knew of the world. Of Dragons in particular. Ah well, He had a scribe now. they would learn.
“Ah. Um- Anyway,” Bilbo continued after a moment of silence, “ There is also Dwalin- your new head of the Guard who will keep order,” here a bald headed one bowed stiffly “his brother Balin, who shall council us on bureaucracy,” the eldest one bowed likewise, though he looked rather decrepit. He would have to replace that one with a younger soon.
“Your new Engineer, Bifur- “ That one looked damaged to Smaug, but dwarrow engineers were unparalleled among the races, so he decided to let it be.
“His cousins, Bofur- who is the new master of the mining guild, and Bombur, the cook.” Looking at them, Smaug nodded slightly. These two were obviously masters at their craft. No cook should be skinny, and the miner had been tapping against the different minerals in the platform he was standing on the whole time he’d stood there.
“the last three are my mate- and his sister-sons.”
“Thorin,” Bilbo gestured towards the black haired one with the beaky nose- “Fili” Gold hair- such variation! “and Kili.” That one looked a bit young- no beard yet.
The dragon looked back towards the grandson of the previous king under the mountain. The Hobbit had not lied, and yet she was the mate of the one he had dreaded coming back for so long.
“You will not contest my kingship Thorin Oakenshield, son of Thror, son of Thrain?” he asked, expecting treachery.
“No your Grace.” Said the dwarf in an even tone “I will follow my queen in all things.” And his heartbeat was equally even. He was telling the truth.
Smaug folded his wings back into his body, and turned to catch the eye of his first subject.
“and he pleases you?”
“Um-“ she said and turned towards Thorin. He suddenly looked alarmed and Smaug leaned forward in suspicion. Had this royal Dwarf been mistreating his subject?
“Yes my King- he pleases me well.” She said finally, but Smaug was not convinced now, after such a long pause.
“I will be the judge of that, I think.”
“What?” asked Bilbo, looking alarmed herself.
“You!” said Smaug, pointing at the miner and the master of coin. “Down the west corridor, there are plush carpets still, of cloth-of-gold, and silver. They were not pure enough for my use but they are soft enough. Fetch them.”
Those two and a few more scurried down the corridor.
Eyeing the piles of gold critically, he used his talons and tail to sweep the piles so that they collapsed away from his subjects, creating a larger open space before settling down with a good view close by.
“act as you would if I were not here, but do well Dwarf King. I will not have Bilbo suffer one unworthy of her.”
**Bilbo POV**
“But I shall never be worthy of you.” Mumbled Thorin as Bofur and Nori rolled the carpet over the now free space. He looked troubled.
Bilbo smiled at him and took his hand in hers, letting her thumb sweep back and forth. “You shall do splendidly as long as you never stop trying.”
She brought his hand up, drifting her other hand against the rough knuckles and scars from a century of rough living and let her lips linger there. These hands- they had held her down and held her close, and for a week after learning he would be a father, had drifted in lazy circles on her midsection, tapping a secret language between the bairn and him, of kicks to her bladder and soft thumps of Thorin’s index finger. Those hands had brought her across half of Arda, and those hands were those that he had used to keep alive all his people in the years of their exile.
She dropped one more lingering kiss to the palm of his hand, before threading one hand in the hair at the back of his neck and rocking up to receive a kiss.
Her nose fit just under his despite the lack of angle, and his lips brought with them all the warmth and fire of his half-lidded gaze.
He wrapped an arm around her back, and her pregnant belly pressed into him. One of his hands found her stomach and spreading his fingers wide, he pressed against it. The pressure shifted the babe, and her whole insides shifted with him. Thorin moaned into her mouth, his tongue suddenly spearing into her mouth, open on a gasp she didn’t remember making.
Heat spread deliciously up her spine like slow lightning, and her knees suddenly quivered in weakness. She was falling, falling but for the strong bands of her lover’s arms keeping her anchored to the world. Her back landed softly against the ground, one arm beneath, and one hand tracing on her hip.
Thorin made a small noise of distress and surged away from her mouth, dropping down to her neck. she let go of a breath and realized she was dizzy.
Also she had a fairly tight grip on Thorin’s hair. She let the hair trickle from her fingers, and he rewarded her by ripping back her suddenly open tunic Thorin’s Tunic, and sucking one teet into his mouth.
Maneuvering her fingers downward, she unlaced both of their breaches with the expediency of much practice.
Thorin paused in his sucking suddenly, pulling back to lap long flat licks around it. He pulled back further, shrugging his great-coat and stuffing it under her back, a great counter relief to the weight her pregnant belly pressed there. He rolled his tunic and stuck it under her bum to give himself a better angle of attack, and surged back up to cover her shivering body with his own.
He returned a few kisses before returning his attention to her breasts, one hand coming up to cup and then suddenly wrench the breast as he sucked. She would have admonished him for the rough treatment, but the breast went at once from achy to luxuriant. It was like an orgasm all on it’s own- a pressure she hadn’t really noticed relieved, as Thorin sucked with great force.
She let out an indecent moan and Thorin thrust his member against the folds of her pussy in a glide, and then again. One hand found it’s way to her hip to guide the rhythm. He flexed and his member caught at her, and he surged into her. And with one last suck he let off and silent, grabbed her jaw and pushed his mouth against hers. Insistently, he pressed his lips against hers hard, and she opened her mouth only for his to open and a sweet warm liquid trickle into her mouth in a rush. She coughed in surprise, and swallowed, and looked up to see Thorin staring at her face with his eyes as dark as night, and her breast-milk for what else could it be? dripping in trails from the edges of his mouth.
Well. That was new.
Thorin, as if in a direct protest at thinking at all, surged his hips up as a perfect and most indecent massage, and one thumb suddenly found it’s way to what he called the “pearl of her pleasure.”
She fractured.
For a long second as she came back to herself, it was as if she was back in the shire at the end of summer, the wheat grass gone golden and a warm wind blowing across the fields, the whisper of the wind through them an indistinct sound on an otherwise quiet day.
And then she realized the wheat was actual gold, the warm wind was the breath of a dragon, and the sound that of a thousand gold coins moving as said dragon shifted position.
“That will do.” Said the dragon- chiefest and greatest of calamities, and her laughter was matched by Thorin as he tried to muffle it in her shoulder.
She weighed her breasts, one satisfied and one achy, and turning, pulled her laughing dwarf back into service.