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AN: So I wasn't sure if it would be one chapter or two and it turns out it was one. I give to you now the final chapter of this fic. I thank you all for taking this journey with me and I hope you enjoyed. Lots more notes at the end, so please stay tuned!
For the last time in this story, I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think!
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Carol lie in bed. The dull ache of her body seemed distant, pushed away some by the medicine that Alice had offered her and the overwhelming joy she felt over the tiny life that slept in her arms. Daryl was asleep beside her, and she knew she should be trying to sleep too, but she hadn't blown the lamp out yet. The mattress was probably the least comfortable that she'd ever thought the prison mattresses could be, and she was far more interested in watching the little one's first night, even though she dozed a little on occasion.
His name was Cayden and he was even more perfect than she'd ever dreamed he'd be during all the nights that she kept herself teetering just before sleep, wondering if he'd ever get there, wondering what he'd be like.
He was already an active child, and even in his sleep he moved and wiggled, giving soft kicks with his feet and occasionally jerking a tiny arm just a bit. She wondered, as she sat there gazing down on him in the warm flicker of the lamplight, what it was that he might dream about when he had spent so few hours in the world and the time he'd spent there he'd spent mostly eating and protesting some aspect or another of his new situation.
Each time he shifted in his sleep, though, she couldn't help but smile. As he was seized, for just a moment, in some sort of dream that sent a tiny twitch through one of his little arms and he responded to it by sucking a moment later at nothing, Carol raised him toward her just a bit to kiss the soft skin of his little head.
"All those times," she whispered, "when I thought you were awake because you were wiggling…you were just dreaming sometimes, weren't you?"
Of course her son made no response beyond another round of the imaginary sucking and he settled down again. It wouldn't be long before he woke up anyway, protesting the fact that his imaginary sucking was providing him far less pleasure than that done when he was awake.
"Ya ain't gon' put him down none?" Daryl asked, his voice thick with sleep. Carol glanced toward him and could barely see his eyelids fluttering in the dim light.
"Not yet," she said. "It's only his first night…and he'll never have another one."
Daryl wrestled himself up, leaning on his elbow.
"I reckon if ya held him inside ya all them damn months, one more night ain't bound ta hurt nothin'," Daryl said. "But'cha oughta sleep some."
"I will," Carol said with a slight sigh. "Just not yet."
Cayden squirmed a little and sucked again, this time starting to make the mousy squeaks that he produced just before he woke entirely. Carol smiled at the sound that she was already beginning to feel was familiar and one of the most beautiful sounds she could hear. She reached her free arm down and shifted around, scooting herself into a better position on the mattress. She moved the baby a little and worked to free her breast as his noises began to intensify into the sneezy sounding cry that signaled he was about to do his best to wake everyone around him if he didn't get what he'd begun to seek somewhere in his little dream.
Carol helped the baby to latch and he seemed immediately satisfied. She wondered if he'd bothered waking up entirely. He'd only opened his eyes to slits now that he was sucking and seemed caught again in a milk stupor.
"Why ya cryin'?" Daryl asked, his voice still gravely. Carol hadn't realized until he mentioned it that she was crying again. It wasn't the kind of crying that one really notices all that much. It was more like she felt like she was so full…like her heart was so full at the moment…that there just wasn't anywhere else for the emotions to go and so they leaked out her eyes. She felt the hot tears rolling down her cheek and swiped them away from time to time, but it wasn't like the sobbing cry of a broken heart that she'd suffered before. These tears didn't need her attention, they just seeped out so that there was somewhere for them to go.
Carol shook her head slightly, a slight chuckle escaping her as she wiped quickly at a few of the tears.
"I don't know," she responded.
"Ya hurtin'?" Daryl asked. "Need me ta get someone?"
Carol shook her head and sighed a little.
"No, nothing like that Daryl. I'm fine. I guess that I'm just happy…and I'm remembering Sophia…a lot…I guess that my heart just can't hold everything," Carol said.
Daryl slipped his hand down and rubbing his thumb gently against the skin of her thigh under the blanket. The rough skin of his thumb provided a soothing scratch with the soft gesture, and Carol smiled at him again, though he wasn't looking at her for the moment.
"Sophia would have been happy 'bout Cayden," Daryl said. "Don't'cha think?"
"Yes, she would have," Carol said. She inhaled deeply and turned her attention to the baby, trying to switch sides with him before his smacking at her gave way to protests about having lost what was either his food supply or his pacifier, she couldn't tell which was more meaningful to him in the moment. "I know she's with my parents now, and I know she's happy…" Carol said. "But I can't help but miss her and think about her."
Daryl's rubbing on her thigh continued and he shifted around a bit in the bed.
"Ya ain't never gotta stop thinking 'bout her," Daryl said. "Ain't nobody never gon' expect that…but I don't want'cha ta start worryin' 'bout this lil' guy 'cause I know how ya is an' ya just keep goin' from one place ta another."
Carol chuckled.
"I might be a little guilty of that," she admitted.
"Well there ain't no need ta worry," Daryl said. "We gon' keep him safe. I ain't lettin' nothin' happen ta neither one a' ya. Not so long as I can do anything about it. I promised ya that before an' I don't mean it any less now."
Carol realized the baby was sleeping more than he was eating at this point and she carefully maneuvered him to burp him. When he was done, she glanced at Daryl once more who was now obviously awake.
"Do you want to hold him?" She asked. Daryl moved around and sat up and she gently passed the baby over to him, helping him get the child situated. "You're already a good Daddy," she said softly, watching the way that Daryl looked at his son.
Daryl snickered.
"Ain't hardly done nothin' yet, woman," Daryl said.
Carol smiled.
"Maybe not," she said, "but I can tell. It's mother's intuition, and it's a powerful thing."
"Is there a Daddy's intuition?" Daryl asked.
"I don't know…" Carol responded. "There might be."
"Do it feel weird?" Daryl asked.
"What?" Carol asked. She leaned her head against Daryl's shoulder, watching him as he gently petted Cayden's hand with his fingertip. The motion made the baby curl his fingers in his sleep.
"Not havin' him inside ya no more," Daryl said. "I mean ya spent an awful lotta time with him in there an' now he ain't no more."
Carol smiled and rubbed her cheek against Daryl's shoulder a little, thinking that she could doze off just like she was.
"I guess it is a little strange," Carol admitted. "I'm just glad that he's finally here and he's strong and healthy…"
"Nothin' ta worry 'bout, right?" Daryl asked, leaning his head over and bumping hers gently with his. She smiled.
"There's still plenty to worry about," Carol said, "but it's a different kind of worry now."
"Well, ain't nothin' ta worry 'bout tonight," Daryl said. "That's why ya oughta get'cha some sleep while ya still can."
Carol yawned and settled herself against him.
"Are you going to hold him for a while?" She asked.
Daryl leaned back a little, shifting down, and wrapped his free arm around her shoulder. She leaned in on him, resting her head against him.
"Yeah," he said. "I'ma hold him a while. Ya just close ya pretty eyes an' get some sleep. He'll let'cha know when he's sick a' his old man."
Carol chuckled and did close her eyes.
"I love you, Daryl," she said.
"Love ya too, woman. Thanks for my kid," Daryl said.
Carol laughed.
"I owe you just as much thanks in that as you owe me, I guess," she said, yawning.
She closed her eyes and tried to sleep, her entire body feeling like it was floating when she knew that she was grounded, and leaning against Daryl with his arm around her.
Once upon a time she'd thought that there was nothing left of her heart. She'd thought that it was destroyed by all the pain and all the suffering that she'd felt in her lifetime. She just assumed that it eventually it ceased to be there. Now, though, curled up next to Daryl with her newborn son sleeping close by, Carol realized that her heart wasn't gone at all. Perhaps it had been dormant…hiding and healing…but it was very much there and it was very much full of love now.
She drifted off to sleep, knowing that it wouldn't be long before her boy's strong cry would tell her that he needed her, that she had to wake up, and she wouldn't mind a bit.
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Daryl was proud of himself. His son was four days old and he had just successfully changed his fifth diaper. So far the score of changing a diaper without it either falling off immediately afterward or without Cayden deciding to make him change his shirt was Daryl: 2 and Cayden: 3, but he was catching up with his little man.
Cayden was lying on the dresser they'd padded with blankets, looking up at Daryl and smacking his lips. Daryl knew that the smacking meant that soon he was to become the obsolete parent.
"You always thinkin' 'bout boobies, ain't'cha?" Daryl asked the baby, smiling at him and trying to get his clothes back on in the gentlest manner possible. "S'how I know ya my son," Daryl said. "Boobies make me happy too," he teased.
"Boobies make everyone happy if their not too damn scared to admit it," Alice said. "Hardly a damn person alive or dead that didn't spend at least one part of their life obsessed with them."
She walked in behind Daryl and he glanced over his shoulder at her, smiling a little. He stepped to the side, sure she was coming to get a look at Cayden.
"How they hanging Beans?" Alice asked, leaning over the baby on the table and kissing him on the forehead. "Just saw your Mama. She's in the kitchen having a snack so she can make you a snack."
When Alice backed up, Daryl carefully collected the baby up into his arms. For just a moment it looked like Cayden was considering starting to cry then, but Daryl bounced him a little and he quieted down, looking confused about his situation instead of upset about it.
"He always looks confused," Daryl said with a chuckle.
Alice laughed.
"He's not confused," she said. "He's just got a lot to learn. It's a big damn world. He should figure shit out pretty good though, his Mama's pretty smart and his Daddy tends to learn with a little help."
Daryl rolled his eyes at her, but didn't respond to her comment.
"Ain't'cha got some damn body else ta bother in the prison?" Daryl asked.
"I'm on my way now, actually, to bug the samurai," Alice said. "I just couldn't pass up the allure of a little bean sugar on my way."
Daryl shook his head at her and walked out of the cell. He heard her, humming, headed in the other direction toward Michonne's cell.
Daryl walked around, looking for Carol. He checked the kitchen and the dining room first, since Alice had mentioned it, but he couldn't find her.
"What are you looking for?" Glenn asked, walking up and reaching over to gently rub the baby's face.
"Lookin' for Carol," Daryl said. "Cayden's gon' get hungry shortly an' it's a whole lot easier calmin' him down early rather than later.
Glenn rubbed the baby again and smiled.
"I saw her just a bit ago headed toward your cell," Glenn said. "You might find her in there."
Daryl nodded at the boy and rocked Cayden a little, trying to hold off the squeaky sounds he was starting to make. Those squeaking sounds were like a warm up for what the hell was coming next and Daryl didn't want to make the poor little thing howl if he didn't have to.
Daryl made his way to the cell and ducked through the curtain. Carol was putting away laundry and turned to smile at him just as he came in.
"Is he hungry?" She asked.
Daryl knew she heard the squeaks as well as he did and he nodded at her, but she was already moving toward the bed and coming out of her shirt. Daryl waited until she held her arms out toward him and he passed her the baby.
"There's no need to fuss!" Carol playfully chided the baby in the voice she reserved for him. "I wasn't gone that long and your Daddy was not pulling on your toes and ears. Don't tell stories on him."
Daryl chuckled at her teasing and watched with the same amazement he always did when she helped the baby latch onto her breast.
There was so much, in only four days, that Daryl felt like he was learning and experiencing in Cayden's life. The whole thing was amazing, and he thought that he would have found most of it fascinating with any child if he'd bother to closely study it before, but he hadn't until now. He'd never had a reason to really worry about it.
But Cayden was his son, and he made him feel a way that he couldn't have explained if anyone had asked him to. He felt like the little thing was the most perfect and most amazing little human ever. He was tiny and perfect, and Daryl knew that one day he'd grow up to be a perfect little boy, and then…if God saw fit to grant Daryl Dixon even more favors than he had since the world had gone crazy…a perfect man.
Daryl didn't know if he'd be the best father in the world. He didn't know if he even had the capacity for such a thing, but he knew that he'd do whatever he could to be the best father that he could be, and he hoped that one day Cayden would look back and realize that even if he failed at being the best, he'd still been pretty damn good as far as father's went.
Daryl watched Carol as she lovingly watched their son feeding. She glanced up at him and smiled, patting the bed beside her as an invitation to him to sit with her while Cayden ate. He hesitated a moment, though, just taking in the way she looked at the moment. The sweet smile on her face, her big blue eyes happy and dancing just a little as she looked at him with the expectation that he would join her. She was beautiful.
He didn't deserve her, and he knew it. Every day, it seemed, he came up with some way or another to do something totally wrong that he never meant to do wrong. He wasn't good enough for her…but somehow she never seemed to realize it. She always forgave him his sins and welcomed him back into her arms.
He loved her…every single thing about her. And impossible as it was for him to believe at times, it seemed that she really loved him too…no matter how big of a mess that he made.
Daryl sat down beside her on the bed. She turned, smiling at him still, and he leaned his head around, kissing her gently. She playfully dipped her tongue into his mouth, teasing his and he responded. When they pulled apart, he wrapped his arm around her and leaned his head against hers, watching Cayden who was trying to decide between the very pressing matter of the meal he wanted and the nap he wanted as well.
Rick was right. They were going to have to move on. One day the prison and the time that his family spent there would be a memory to all of them, as distant, faded, and weatherworn as every other memory they carried inside their hearts.
It wouldn't matter, though…not really. Daryl didn't think he would have minded travelling to hell if that's where he had to go, not as long as he had Carol by his side…and together they'd keep Cayden safe and watch him grow.
Most the world could agree, and maybe for them it was true, that since the dead starting walking the world had gone to hell. Daryl, though, couldn't count himself among those numbers. It took the world going to hell for him to find everything that was worth having in the world. It had taken him a long time to find it, and he'd nearly lost it all once or twice, but in the end he knew it was his now, and he knew it was the best thing that a simple man like him could ever even dream of having.
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AN: Wow! So what a journey it's been! I'm really sad to finish now, but I hope I did this little tale justice.
As for all of you who have read the whole thing, I truly appreciate it and I hope you enjoyed! To everyone who read, to everyone who reviewed and kept me going, and to those of you who simply enjoyed in silence as well, I thank you! Hopefully I didn't let you down.
A few special thanks:
To EnglishPoet18…who somehow has managed to read every single that I've written and still maintained her sanity through hours and hours of daily conversation.
To SAO loving mom and to vickih who have acted as on site cheerleaders through the ups and downs.
To Dixonrocks, Yazzy x, marshmallowdeviant, definitelywalkerbait, HGRHfan35, itsi3, alibabwa, peonies01…who have read and reviewed every chapter (or very nearly) as we've gone along.
And to all of you not named who are no less loved and appreciated for your support. In the world of fanfiction we have no payment for what we do besides the support of our readers and I want you all to know you're very much appreciated!
I also want to thank everyone who nominated and voted for Alice in SAO loving mom's contest as best OC. I really appreciate that and it means a lot to me that you like one of my OCs so much. It means a lot to Alice too because your love of her earned her character development and kept her from fulfilling her originally planned fate of simply becoming a Walker "Scooby snack".
I'm leaving this story somewhat open for the possibility of some kind of sequel in the future, but I'm not sure when or if I'll actually write one for it. We'll have to see which way the wind blows. If you're interested in it, though, then I'll see about working on one.
I do have plans for another *eventual* Caryl fic that will take place during the zombie apocalypse, but it's going to be pretty different from this one and since it's an *eventual* Caryl fic you get to suffer through a lot of the good, slow burn that I enjoy torturing you with. It's already in the planning, though I don't expect the first chapter to be out to it for a little bit. Maybe this weekend. Alice will be appearing in it, in a slightly different manner, as a "main" supporting character. It will be titled "Lightning Only Strikes Once," so I invite you to drop in and give it a read if you're interested.
Until then, if you're bored and looking for something to read, I invite you all to check out the other fics that I have going. Each has their own little "niche," but I hope you can find something to keep you interested.
Again, I just want to say thank you to you all for sticking with me through 79 chapters of this fic. You're all wonderful and I truly appreciate it!
I really hope you enjoyed and I hope to see you later in some of my other fics!
Love to you all and CARYL ON!