Chapter Text
There’s a cup of tea in the empty kitchen when Eren comes home. It sits on the table like something lost and forgotten that’s waiting for its owner with a never-waving patience. He doesn’t need to step closer and press his fingertips against the china to know that it is cold.
It’s one of these nights.
The bathroom is unlighted, but he can smell the unmistakable scent of soap and dampness. The door is slightly ajar, neither inviting him in nor locking him out and the massive wood is heavy under his fingers as he pushes it open.
As expected Levi is resting in the tub. His head tilted back with opened eyes, his skin looking so pale, nearly luminous in the moonlight. The crease between the thin, ebony eyebrows is deepened. His lips pressed together in a grim line. The size of the tub makes him look small in comparison.
A bit too small actually.
“Hey,” Eren says quietly.
“Hey,” comes a whispered rasp that tightens Eren’s chest.
Levi’s eyes are glistening in the near-darkness as they flicker away from the ceiling to focus on Eren, shine bright in the night and bear something dark of their own. Something lonely.
Eren knows that look. It’s all too familiar.
“Got room for one more in there?”
The Adam’s apple in Levi’s throat bobs ponderously and a barely noticeable shrug of the shoulders sends a new ripple over the surface of the dark water. It splashes silently and the echo of the quiet sounds is strangely loud in the small bathroom. “If you want.”
Feeling Levi’s gaze on him Eren unbuckles the straps of his gear to hang them on a hook next to the door and undresses, not minding to fold his clothes as he piles them into the laundry basket, next to neat squares of Levi’s shirts and pants.
“Scoot?”
Not averting his eyes Levi pulls in his legs. Eren gets the wordless hint and steps into the tub, facing Levi. The water is hot, piping hot. Probably the second filling he estimates. The heat stings, but he ignores it and slowly crouches down, waiting for the excess water to drain before he leans back and fully submerges into the water, careful to not let anything spill over.
Levi is still looking at him wearily and something sharp pierces Eren’s chest. How he wishes to be able to simply reach out and take all the pain to make it go away.
He can’t.
He can, however, help to make it better at least. Just like Levi has done it so many times for him. Chewing on his bottom lip in worry he takes hold on one of Levi’s feet, carefully and with just a bit too much pressure in his grip, so it won’t tickle too much.
It’s not their first night like this. Not the first time Eren has found Levi in the tub, deeply lost in his sorrows that always seem to take him to faraway places in his mind. By now he knows that pushing for answers won’t help, but that patience and simple, physical contact most likely will.
So Eren concentrates on the feeling of Levi’s foot in his hands and their proximity. The hot water has begun to feel absolutely wonderful and washes away the stress of the day, while his fingers keep on kneading, squeezing and loosening until a sigh parts Levi’s lips and his head sinks back, his eyes closed once more. Eren relaxes a bit and gives the foot a quick squeeze before resuming with the massage.
He loves Levi’s feet; so graceful and delicate, yet so strong and branded by decades of fighting. The bandages they all usually wear for protection during the daytimes aren’t able to keep away the worst bruises and calluses from the gear and Eren tends to the markings, presses his thumbs into the battered skin and runs them over the curves in firm circles.
As he reaches the arch Levi winces shortly and Eren pauses in his movements, simply holds the foot, waiting. After a moment he digs his fingers a little more slowly into the spot with more force, and Levi hums in approval.
Levi’s toes are especially ticklish, so he saves them for last and after a few more minutes he pulls the sole to his lips. The gesture makes Levi look at him again. His gaze is more focused than before, more settled again, and a part of the worry is gone by now to make place for a certain fondness that warms Eren’s heart.
Being finished with the first foot Eren lets it glide back into the water to reach for the other one just as fingers come to a rest on his shin, squeeze gently before holding on, and Eren smiles as the pair of strong hands take a hold on a foot of his own to return the favour.
We should do this much more often, he thinks as he lets himself sink even deeper into the water. Not the brooding part, but this. Simply rubbing out the worry of each other’s feet after a long day.
Levi’s left foot takes longer than the first. It is always worse than the right, with a heavy tension settling in the sinews. The old injury must be acting up again and Eren frowns as he concentrates on rubbing the kinks out of the muscles, bones and toes, until the left foot is just as flexible and pliant under his fingers as the other.
He is just about to begin rub Levi’s legs when Levi lets go of Eren’s foot with one last squeeze as well and moves closer in the tub, turns around without a word, and lets himself rest against Eren, his back melting against his chest, their legs tangling, his fingers searching for Eren’s hands to wrap them around his waist, and craning back his head to kiss Eren’s chin from underneath.
“Thank you.”
“Any time.” Eren pecks Levi’s brow, the only thing he can reach without disturbing their embrace, while his hands glide over strong arms until they take hold on Levi’s right hand to continue their massage.
If Levi’s feet are beautiful, his hands are even more so. They are so small that they nearly vanish in his massive paws and only the scars and calluses give away what they are used to doing for a living. All ten fingers are slim and rangy, nearly too delicate for the man they belong to—the man who now melts defeatedly against Eren’s chest, like they were two parts of one single piece.
He knows that Levi must feel the hot and hard pressure against him, but they both ignore it for now and Eren wills it away. His fingers work on Levi’s palm, flex it and loosen the smaller and bigger knots in the thenar. There’s no sound from Levi as he relaxes more and more into their embrace. Only his breath that has long become deep and calm.
And just like with Eren’s feet, Levi soon begins to massage Eren’s hands in return with skilled fingers, earning himself a kiss in the nape of his neck. Eren feels goosebumps under his lips and smiles while his fingers are being stretched gently, one after the other and then the other hand as well.
Levi has fallen back into silence, but Eren knows it’s not necessarily a bad sign. He’ll talk when he wants to and until then they’ll enjoy the silence together, bask in the quietness they make for themselves. Their own little resort, accompanied by the gentle lapping and burbling of water and the dim light of the moon.
It takes Eren a while to notice that Levi’s massage has turned into something else. His fingers are tenderly brushing over Eren’s now, run over his fingertips and lifelines, over knuckles and joints, until their fingers intertwine and his hand is held against Levi’s chest. He squeezes back and lets go as Levi turns around once more, shortly brushes his lips over Eren’s and snuggles down against him, heart resting against heart.
Eren’s hands move on their own, break through the water and stroke Levi’s back in languid movements, over his spine all the way up into the stubbles of his undercut and the hair on the top of his head and back down again, over broad shoulders and shoulder blades, ribs and chiseled muscles, only to reach the small of Levi’s back and begin their wandering upwards from anew. And anew. And anew.
By now the water has nearly gone cold, but neither of them makes a move to change anything. Instead Levi begins to plant damp kisses on Eren’s neck while his fingertips ghost over Eren’s jaw and throat and his collarbones.
Sighing he runs his hand into Levi’s hair that’s all wet from the bath and his earlier caresses and brings their mouths together in a slow, exploring kiss. Lips brush over lips, tongues brush over tongues, making them breathless even before Levi rolls his hips against Eren. Once, twice, thrice.
Their kiss breaks off into gasps when Eren’s hands travel down and further down Levi’s back until they reach his arse and pull them closer together. Levi looks deep into his eyes, brow against brow, his hands playing with the hair in the nape of Eren’s neck and Eren swallows.
This is so much different from their usual greediness, so much more careful, so much more intense, so much more everything, and Eren’s heart wants to burst while he fills his lungs with Levi’s air until it nearly hurts because it is too much and yet not nearly enough.
Levi looks vulnerable like this, absolutely naked and bare with the tired bruises under his eyes that make them appear to be bigger somehow, with the blush that makes his cheeks glow, with his deliciously swollen, darkened lips. Quiet, little noises leave his throat and Eren wants them, needs them, is once more overwhelmed by his feelings for this man.
So he looks for halt in grey irises that are nearly completely black now and he knows he is absolutely lost. Lost in these eyes, lost in their panted sighs that pass back and forth, lost in the wonderful heat against him that’s such a contrast to the cold water, lost in Levi, Levi, Levi.
Levi, who is shuddering in his arms, moving, arching, rising, bending, completely falling apart, and all the while holding on as they breathe each other in in a constant splashing of water and gliding against each other. With each other.
He can see the moment in Levi’s eyes before he feels it, pulsating against him and making him follow a few unhurried strokes later, spoiling the water with streaks of white.
His scream breaks into a voiceless whimper and all he can do is keep his eyes locked with Levi’s until it is over and their breaths reverberate loudly in the bathroom in the most peaceful way.
Levi sinks back against Eren’s chest, lets out another voiceless sigh and Eren keeps on running his hands up and down Levi’s back to stroke him through the afterglow, and as Levi nuzzles his face into the crook of Eren’s neck once more, Eren kisses Levi’s hair and feels a smile against his shoulder.
“I love you,” he breathes with chattering teeth, only realising now how cold the water has become meanwhile. He doesn’t mind it too much…not for himself at least. “Bed?”
“Mm.” Going by the voice Levi is nearly asleep already.
When he doesn’t move Eren thinks about it for a moment and wraps Levi’s legs around his waist, holds him tightly against his chest, and stands up to carefully step out of the tub.
“Towels.” The grumbled complaint ends in a muffled chuckle into his neck that deprives it of its purpose. “You’re making the floor wet. And I can walk on my own.”
When they slip into bed a few minutes later, Levi scuttles closer under the still cold sheets until they’re tangled up in each other again. Eren chuckles fondly as a pair of icy feet wiggle their way under his calves, like they do every night.
He wants to stay awake, listen to Levi breathe and guard his dreams whilst savouring the pale skin of his face that’s framed by black hair, the cold feet under his legs and the strong body at his side that smells like soap.
“Love you too,” comes quietly next to his ear, so quiet he nearly can’t hear it, yet so warm, that his heart makes a small kick against his ribs.
He smiles. Runs his hand into Levi’s hair with a kiss. And before he knows it, his eyes have already closed and he drifts away into dreams of his own.