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English
Series:
Part 1 of A Different Path
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Published:
2013-08-15
Completed:
2013-10-18
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287,648
Chapters:
19/19
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113
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148
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Awaken Me

Chapter 19

Summary:

Alistair visits, Anders gets something he wanted for a while, Fenris learns that he does have limits and Zevran buries some old hurts.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Anders fidgeted with his warden robes and shifted from foot to foot. The king was to appear any moment and Aedan had the whole keep lined up in the courtyard to receive him. The sun was starting to set and the kitchen had been busy for hours in preparation of a great feast.

“Hold still, you are making me nervous with your fidgeting.” Fenris said quietly, his scale mail bright in the waning sunlight, and his mood was light due to Varania being on his other side.

“Can’t help it,” Anders whispered out of the corner of his mouth. “He basically saved my life.”

There was a great horn blast and everyone suddenly went silent. The gates opened and a man in golden armor rode through with royal guards in shining plate riding behind him.

Fenris stood at attention and kicked Anders so the mage would stand straight. Varania fell into a parade rest after her brother stood at attention. She was nervous but tried not to show it.

Anders stood taller and glanced down the line of wardens he stood in. Oghren was the only one besides Zevran who wasn’t standing nervously at attention. The assassin’s eyes had narrowed when Aedan came forward to greet the young king and they gave each other great claps on the back, their plate mail clanging.

“We're going to have to watch Zev,” Anders said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I know, this will be like herding cats. Attention, the King is coming.” Fenris snapped his gaze back to where the King and Aedan were making their way down the line of Wardens, greeting people as they went.

By the time the king made it to Anders, the mage was a bundle of nerves. If there was one thing it was that Anders did when he was nervous, it was to say the first thing to pop into his mind.

“And this is--” Aedan began.

“Anders! You saved my life a few months ago. Well helped Aedan save it. Although I did have to become a Grey Warden for that to work. But I guess if it’s between the wardens and being hanged by the Templars, then fighting in the Deep Roads isn’t so bad. I do like living.”

Alistair blinked when Anders ran out of air and words. “Living is… good,” he said slowly.

“I have a few thoughts on how the mages of Ferelden could be better helped by the crown,” Anders pushed on. “Maybe if I could--Ouch!”

His head snapped to the side and he gave Fenris an appalled look. “You kicked me!” he accused.

“Your powers of observation are astounding,” Fenris replied dryly. “Why don’t you let the king move on down the line and get into the keep first?”

“I…” Anders glanced down the line where Nate waited next to Fenris, the last to be introduced. The archer’s face was carefully neutral and understanding dawned. Nathaniel Howe’s father had made life hard for not only Aedan, but the King of Ferelden as well. Nate had never met the king and his normally kind eyes were blanked of emotion.

Anders cleared his throat. “Sorry.” He gave the king a crooked grin.

“No, no,” Alistair replied. “I rarely meet people that are actually pleased with something I’ve done for them anymore. I think I’d rather forgotten how that felt.” He gave Anders a crooked grin of his own and moved on down the line.

Fenris had snapped to attention and Anders could see how the elf fought to keep his eyes on the king instead of dropping them to the ground. Alistair was in a position of supreme authority in Ferelden and old habits warred with the knowledge that he wasn’t subservient to the king, only to his commander.

Alistair eventually moved down to greet Nate and Anders tried hard not to visibly strain to listen to their quiet conversation. But it was over before he could hear even a single word and the king and Aedan disappeared into the keep, the royal guards trooping in behind them.

Nate groaned and he dropped his face in his hands. “I told Aedan I should have been sent away before the king came,” he muttered into his palm.

“What did he say?” Anders blurted out.

Nate only shook his head in reply and dropped his arms to his sides. “I need to go and make sure everything is still on schedule for the feast.” He sent Sigrun an apologetic smile and turned to walk back into the keep.

“Well this is lovely,” Anders quipped.

“He’s worried that his presence here will cause trouble for Aedan with the king,” Sigrun said quietly. “I told him that he wasn’t his father and Aedan knows that, but he's being stubborn.”

“Maybe if we are all lucky the king will make his visit short, yes?” Zevran added as he walked over to them.

“And just why would the king make his visit short?” Oghren asked warily. He had made an effort to appear presentable for the king and even went as far as to comb and rebraid his beard.

Zevran sniffed and looked back to the keep. “I am just saying that he might make his visit short.”

“Yeah…” Anders said slowly. “That’s all you’re saying…”

“The king is a busy man,” Zevran continued on. “Too busy to visit long with an old friend who he never sees anymore.”

“You aren’t going to play these games anymore,” Oghren warned.

“Who’s playing a game?” Zevran shot back. “It was never I.” With another disdainful sniff, he marched into the keep.

“And the evening just keeps getting better!” Anders said. “We need to have guests more often.”

 

**

Fenris watched as Zevran became more hostile in his mannerisms but not word. He sat next to Anders and across from Varania. “We’re going to have to corral Zevran soon if he doesn’t stop scowling at the King.”

“Oh, look,” Anders said between bites. “Now he’s flirting outrageously with everyone around him. So much better than glowering at the king.” The dining hall was packed to the brim with wardens, nobles, guards, and servants. A high table had been set up on a dais on one side of the room and Zevran hadn’t been sat there with Aedan and the king. Instead, he was seated at one of the long tables with the rest of the Grey Wardens.

“I know Aedan said he was having Zev sit with the rest of us because he didn’t want to show favoritism, but I think he made a big mistake,” Anders muttered just below the din.

“Yes he did and Zevran is going to make him pay in spades when this is over. Don’t be surprised if he shows up at someone’s door after they have a row.” Fenris mumbled over the lip of his glass.

“Should I go and pull him over to us? I don’t want him to get into trouble, Anders.” Varania said as she split her attention between watching Zevran and the King.

“Please,” Anders said. “Before he turns his attentions on that poor guard standing at attention
near the table.”

She went over to Zevran and smiled at him before taking his hand and motioning toward where her sibling and Anders were sitting.

“Come sit with us, we miss your company and charm.” Varania offered him a sip of her wine to entice him over.

Zevran looked up through his lashes. “Come to rescue me, my dear? I have to warn you, I am not the best company right now, especially for a woman.” He plucked the wine glass from her fingers and took a sip.

“What can I do to soothe the mood you’re in my friend? Should I fear you or might you need something that can’t be on offer for fear of Fenris’ reaction?” She took her glass back for a long sip then gave it back.

“I might just be in the mood to fight your brother for a chance to taste your sweet lips,” he warned. He stood and followed her back to the end of the table. Behind him, he could hear Alistair’s ringing laughter.

“No need to fight, perhaps we can talk later ...if you try not to cause a scene. It won’t help things yes?” Varania grinned at him, the use of his usual mannerisms intentional to get him to pay attention and not start anything.

“It would help me to feel better for a while,” Zevran muttered as he sat down across from Fenris. “I can create glorious scenes when I am so inclined.”

“Yes but think of what will come after.” Fenris said in Tevene as he poured them more drinks. “Don’t...make it worse later, Zevran, it’s not worth it. Aedan isn’t going anywhere.”

“The king has a queen, yet she did not come with him,” Zevran replied in Tevene. “Look at them, the hero and the king, what a lovely picture they make.”

“Zev, you need to stop looking for trouble,” Anders warned. He spoke in Tevene as well to keep their conversation private. “Aedan loves you.”

“You were not there during the Blight,” Zevran hissed, his tone uncharacteristically cold. “I had to fight and claw my way to Aedan just to get him to look at me, just as I had to do with everything in my life. Yet the moment the templar comes, I am pushed aside yet again.”

“That may be true, but do you think a man who didn’t so much as look at another while you were off in Antiva will run off with the King or anyone else for that matter? Did you tell him that you feel pushed aside? He will listen you know.” Fenris snapped back, his temper fraying at the way Zevran had behaved since Alistair had arrived.

Zevran’s eyes sparked in anger at Fenris’ tone. “You think you know Aedan and I so well.”

“Okay!” Anders said his voice deceptively bright. “We’re just going to stop this part of the conversation right here.”

“Fine with me.” Fenris said before he got up and went over to Aedan to speak with him.

Zevran tilted his chin up. “Does he think that he can talk to Aedan about this?”

“I think that’s exactly what he’s doing,” Anders replied as they watched Fenris walk up the dais.

“The irony of Fenris wanting to interfere in my love life is not lost on me,” Zevran said. “Nor is it lost on me that Aedan will probably listen to him where my words have fallen flat.”

“Don’t do that,” Anders said. He reached across the table and laid his hand on top of Zevran’s. “I don’t know what happened between the three of you before, but things are different now.”

“Are they?” Zevran asked quietly.

**

Fenris came up to Aedan and waited to ask for his attention once Aedan was done speaking with a noble.

“A word please, Commander.”

Aedan motioned for Fenris to follow him and he stood. He stepped a little bit away from the dais and raised his eyebrows. “What’s wrong?”

“Zevran is ...not alright, and not seating him with you and the time you’re spending with the King is making him feel less than wanted. We’ve tried to keep him calm but it’s failing.” Fenris remained at attention as they spoke his gaze wandered over to the table as they spoke.

Zevran had his arms wrapped around Varania and his head on her shoulder while Anders spoke frantically to him.

“Do you really think it would have gone better if Zev sat with us?” Aedan asked and drew Fenris’ attention back to him. “I don’t. Alistair is used to the way Zev can be, but not the rest of the nobles seated with us.”

“Either way, it’s making him unbearable to be around. You see now he flirts with Varania to goad you.”

“I see it,” Aedan said, his voice pitched low. “But I’m not about to drag him off like he wants me to either. I can’t…” For the first time Aedan showed his agitation. “I need him to trust me.”

“That’s all well and good, but you should speak with him and assure him that he is not being set aside. I don’t want to have to murder him for fucking my sister.” Fenris murmured as they stood there.

“You’re assuming that your sister would even let him,” Aedan replied. He sighed. “I have. So many times since Alistair sent word that he’s coming. Just…Just tell him something for me. Tell him I said ‘Morrigan’. Tell him that I said to remember what I did for him.”

He glanced back at the dais. “Damn it. I can’t… Just tell him for me.”

“Fine I will, but if he continues to act as if you are setting him aside for Alistair, I will not be held responsible for what happens.” Fenris said as he turned to go back to the table.

Zevran idly played with the wisps of fiery hair the brushed along Varania’s neck. His eyes darted to where Aedan sat back down next to Alistair and he jerked his gaze away.

“I just don’t understand what has you so worried,” Anders finally admitted. “You’re… Well you’re you.”

“And this somehow makes me immune to a faithless lover?” Zevran asked softly. “This is not so. But it has never been Aedan’s body that I have been concerned about, it is his heart, yes? He… You have seen the way he looks at me?”

Fenris came back over and sighed as he looked at how Varania was leaned into Zevran, practically on his hip.

“So what happened?” Varania said from her spot against the Antivan warden.

“Fine.” he leaned into Zev’s space and whispered Aedan’s reminder to him before he stood next to Anders again.

Zevran’s body stiffened and he drew away from Varania. “That was not kind of him,” he said under his breath.

“That’s what he told me to convey to you. Whether it’s kind or not, it’s your issue. If you all don’t mind I’m going to take my leave of you all. Anders, I’ll be in your room. Varania, I’ll check on you tomorrow, hopefully I will find you alone.”

He gave Anders a kiss on the cheek, then glanced meaningfully at Zevran and Varania.

“Ah…” Zevran said to himself. “And now I am a despoiler of sisters.” He got to his feet. “I think I am tired of this feast. Good night.”

“You two are adults, do as you will. Good night.” Fenris left them with a nod to Anders and made his way to the mage’s room and waited for him.

“Zev wait,” Anders called after him. The elf stopped and turned back to the table. “Sleep with us tonight,” the mage said. “Not for… Just to sleep. You shouldn’t be alone with this.”

 

“I think not,” Zevran said. “I am obviously bad company and do not wish to get into an argument with our Fenris.”

Varania chimed in and gave him a sly look. “You will not be bad company, and it will be nicer than sleeping alone and crabby.”

Anders stuffed his fingers in his ears. “Nope. I can’t hear a thing.”

“Thank you, my dear. But only to sleep, yes?” Zevran gave her a small smile. “Making love to you while I am angry at another would do you and me a disservice.”

“Yes… go sleep, rest with them and be well. I’ll see you at breakfast.” She gave him a kiss on the cheek and shooed him toward Anders.

Anders pulled his fingers free and eyed Varania. “I like Zev. Please don’t try and get him killed.” He stood and grabbed the assassin’s hand.

“I’ll do my best.” She waved them off and went to her own rooms.

Anders hauled Zevran behind him as he made his way out of the dining hall and up the stairs. They didn’t speak until they were in Anders’ room and the door was shut behind them.

“Zev’s staying with us tonight,” Anders said while he undressed. “You sister’s virtue is safe.”

Zevran rolled his eyes and pulled off his Grey Warden tabard and folded it neatly. “It was never in jeopardy.”

“Don’t be funny… go to sleep.” Fenris rolled over to let Zevran into their bed. “Wake me for breakfast.” the elf grumbled as he made himself comfortable.

Zevran pressed in close to Fenris’ back and closed his eyes as Anders crawled in next to him. The candles went out and plunged them into darkness.

Of all the times that Zevran had slept next to the two men, Aedan had always been with him. The thought sent a fresh pang through him and he squeezed his eyes shut tighter.

“You never finished your thought,” Anders whispered. “Earlier. You asked if we had seen the way Aedan looks at you.”

“He loves you and Fenris,” Zevran whispered. “But me? I am different, no? He looks at me and I can see just how much I mean to him. It is as if my very existence gives him purpose in life.”

“If you know that then why--”

“Because,” Zevran interrupted, “He once looked at Alistair that way. I am an elf, no? I am the son of a whore, who was then made a whore and a killer. These things are who I am and I have no shame in it. But when I realized that I wanted Aedan to look at me like that, when I realized that no one ever had, I felt the full extent of what I am, yes?

“I know what they say of me, and I do not care, but Aedan does. It would be simpler for him to have a kingly lover, one who might be a bastard, but had lived with other nobles. Another human who he would not have to feel needs to be reined in and sent to another part of the dining hall for fear of what he might say or do.

“Ah… The things I had to do in order for Aedan to look at me and truly see me.”

“You do care what people say,” Anders replied softly.

“Maybe I do… But only because it affects him. To others, I will always be his elven slut, and they are not wrong, yes?”

“No,” Anders whispered. “They are wrong. He’s married, Zev. He’s married, not interested in men, and Aedan loves you.”

“Yes… He has done much for me because I asked it of him. Things he would not have…” Zevran swallowed audibly. “I see Alistair and I remember how things were. It is hard to remember how things are, yes?”

“Yes...believe me I know that.” Fenris said from the other side of the bed. “I fear what I have done in the past will make Anders want to run from me like he probably should.” the elf shook his head at his lover so that he wouldn’t protest.

“Every time I wake up next to Anders, I remember the past, feel like I am lucky to be there next to him...I remember what I had to do to get where I am but some days that’s hard. It’s hard to see him and remember the things that have been said and done to get there. I’m an elf too remember?”

Fenris snuggled against Zevran and placed a kiss on his shoulder. “I get it...but don’t make things harder for when this is over, the feasts, the meetings, and Aedan doesn’t have to be the good noble and Warden Commander for everyone who’s overtaken the Keep, you will talk and you’ll remember that he only cares for you.”

The elf tightened his hold briefly and sighed against the other elf’s shoulder and curled against him so he could try to fall asleep.

“Under normal circumstances, I would have liked the king much better,” Zevran said with a yawn. “He is very much like our Anders, no?”

Anders had closed his eyes, Fenris’ words running through his mind. He hadn’t thought that beyond being a slave, that Fenris had hurdles to overcome for being an elf. It gave him something to ponder on and new perspective on his lover that he felt foolish for not considering before.

“A bit...but I know Anders, I know nothing of the King other than he allowed my mage to live and he is a Warden as well.” Fenris muttered against Zevran’s back. “Speak quietly if you must continue to talk, I am actually trying to sleep here.”

Anders slipped his arms around Zevran and pulled himself closer to the elf. His fingers trailed along Fenris’ side while his lips found the assassin’s, kissing him softly.

“Ah…” Zevran murmured against his lips. “You are making it very hard for this elf to deny you. I should be given an award for my restraint in not pursuing the lovely Varania and now you.”

“Can I play with him, Fenris?” Anders whispered.

“Yeah… go on. I’m going to go to my room though. I can sleep through a lot but not the acrobatics you two will get up to right next to me.” Fenris slipped out of bed and gave them each a kiss, his gaze lingering on Anders before he dressed and slipped out of the door.

Anders rolled on top of Zevran. The elf spread his legs and hooked his ankles in the small of Anders’ back.

“So you prevent the lovely Varania from having me so that you could?” Zevran teased.

“I…” Anders’ eyes widened in the near dark. “Oh, shit. That was a bit fucked up of me. But Fenris would’ve killed you.”

“He shares his lover but not his sister,” Zevran pointed out. He ran a finger down the column of the mage’s throat. “Not that I am complaining.”

**

Fenris made his way to his room and curled into his covers and tried to sleep. He kept tossing and turning but couldn’t sleep. He decided to see if Aedan was back in his room for a late night drink.

“Aedan?”

The Warden Commander was seated at the spindly table in one corner of his bedchamber and he waved Fenris inside. He had a bottle of wine in his hand and he poured Fenris a glass before taking a drink straight from the bottle. An empty bottle already sat on the table next to his elbow.

Fenris joined him and took his drink. “Couldn’t sleep?”

“I don’t sleep well when Zev’s not with me.” Aedan took another drink. “It kills me what I did to him. He’s usually so fucking confident that when he gets like this it…” He shook his head. “I talked with Alistair. I told him everything. He fucking knew. He fucking knew how I felt about him and he never said a damned thing.”

“That’s tough… I’ll stay here if you like; Zev is talking with Anders, maybe more. It’s hard to see him like that I have to admit. But he’s rattled, Aedan, and it’s because you can’t truly understand what it’s like to be an elf, nor the human lover of an elf in this world.”

“I know. We’ve talked about it before. I’m never going to understand it.” Aedan shrugged. “I’m a human and I was born a noble. My experiences in life will always be different than Zev’s. I can listen and try to do better, but I can’t ever say I know what it’s like for him, you, and Varania. I can’t even say I know what it’s like for Anders as a mage or Sigrun as one of the casteless.

“Before my family died, I’d never known hunger or real fear. None of you can say the same except for maybe Nate. I don’t know what to do for Zev to make him feel more secure in what we have together.”

“Yeah, sadly...but it’s true, and nothing will change that Aedan. I think he’ll be alright, especially if Alistair speaks to him.” Fenris took a deep drink and tipped his glass forward for refill.

Aedan obliged him and topped the elf’s wineglass off. “You’re right. But it’ll have to wait until Anders is done with Alistair first. Poor bastard.”

“What do you mean by that? Anders is grateful for his life being saved and he’s actually done his work on his ...crusade.” Fenris took a drink and looked at Aedan critically.

“Oh, I didn’t mean Alistair, I meant Anders.” Aedan gave him a wry grin. “Alistair has grown since he took the throne. But he’s still Alistair and he and Anders are very much alike. Imagine Anders trying to get someone with his sense of humor to listen to him. I’m not saying that Alistair doesn’t take his duty as king seriously, he does, but I think they’ll either get along perfectly, or Anders is going to get firsthand experience on what it’s like to talk to be us.”

“Ah I see now. It will be entertaining at least before Anders gets frustrated or worried he’s offended the King or something. We’ll see what happens. Do you want to go lay down so you can sleep? I guess you have to be around early for more noble duty.” Fenris finished his wine and offered his hand to Aedan.
“So you left Anders and Zev alone together?” Aedan asked idly, his mood shifting quickly.

“Yeah, I trust all of you. If Zev needs comfort, I’m not the one to give it. Besides I was sleepy, then I just was restless and came to see you. Does the fact I left them alone bother you?” Fenris tugged him towards the bedchamber.

“No…” Aedan mumbled. “Come sleep with me,” he said as he stumbled towards his bed.

“Sleep or sleep?” Fenris asked as they tumbled into the massive bed and curled around each other.

“Sleep, sleep,” Aedan muttered into his pillow. “I don’t deserve pretty elves right now.”

“Well I’m not pretty, but you have said I’m handsome will that do?” Fenris carded his fingers through Aedan’s thick, dark hair and kissed his temple. “Besides, we are ...more compatible when it comes to certain kinds of comfort.”

“Love you,” Aedan murmured before he took Fenris’ lips in a deep kiss.

“Love you too.” Fenris replied before he tugged Aedan so his commander was over him. “What do you need?”

“Don’t know,” Aedan whispered. His breath had the sweet scent of wine on it. “Feels different to do this with just you and me.”

‘Yeah it does...but it’s ok, Aedan, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, no ser or serah if you don’t want that tonight. Remember when I said I’m yours, I meant that for all of you. Tonight let me help you alright?”

“Is Anders helping Zev?” Aedan asked softly. “I don’t want him to be… hurt and alone.”

“Yeah, Anders brought him to our room because he saw how bad off he was. Are you ok with this? With us splitting off with each other?” Fenris asked as he rolled over to straddle Aedan and kiss him again.

Aedan’s large hand curled around Fenris’ hips. “I just don’t want Zev to hate me.” Aedan Cousland was so confident in most things that he did--except when it came to Zevran. There was something about the way the elf got to the commander that tore down who and what he was to get to the vulnerability inside.

“He doesn’t hate you; I don’t think that’s possible.” Fenris kissed Aedan gently and looked down at him with a smile. “It’s alright”

Aedan snorted. “Now who’s comforting who? This is a switch.” He ran his fingers up Fenris’ back and tangled them in his hair. Slowly, he rolled his hips and ground into the elf.

“You don’t want this right now, Fenris. I’m not in a gentle mood in the best of times.”

“I survived Minrathous; there isn’t anything you can do that will break me. Do as you need to do.” Fenris growled and tilted his head in to offer what Aedan needed.

Aedan growled low at what he was being offered and arched up to rake his teeth along Fenris’ throat. He turned his head and kissed Fenris again; giving him no quarter as his tongue pushed the elf’s mouth wide open and he devoured his lips.

Fenris moaned and tilted his head further back for Aedan to explore him once their kiss had ended. “Fuck… more.” he said as his eyes rolled closed.

“Get your fucking clothes off,” Aedan rasped. His hands went to his tunic and whipped it off, tossing it over the edge of the bed before going to the ties of his breeches.

“Yes ser.” Fenris yanked his clothes off so fast he heard something tear but he didn’t care. Just as he tossed his tunic away he was shoved back to the bed and held down.

Aedan’s had his fingers around Fenris’ wrists and he used his weight to pin the elf down, pressing him into the mattress. “Spread your legs for me, soldier.”

Fenris did as he was told and whimpered quietly. The intensity in Aedan’s gaze, the way he was held down and the low, deep undercurrent to his commander’s voice had him ready and eager to do whatever Aedan said.

“Look at how hard you are,” Aedan hissed in his ear. “You want it so badly already, don’t you? Such a pretty cock and it’s so eager for what I want to do to it and you.”

“Yes ser… please ser.” Fenris said as he arched up to feel more of Aedan pressed against him, the way he put his weight to work to hold him down made him trip into a headspace that only Aedan seemed to be able to send him to.

Aedan’s thick cock pressed against Fenris’. The commander rocked his hips and the slick heads bumped and rubbed against each other.

“Where do you want it, Fenris? Or should I decide and use you how I see fit.”

“Whatever you want ser, please…” Fenris whimpered and bucked as far as he could to get more friction while he rubbed wantonly against the other man’s cock. “You make me crazy you know that Aedan?” he said, his voice low and rough, his eyes focused on his commander and friend.

“Do I?” Aedan asked. “I’ve never noticed.” He ground into the elf, pressing him deeper into the sheets. “You give me a feast, Fenris. The things I want to do to you right now… Tell me again I can do what I wish to you. Do you remember what you’re supposed to say if I go too far?” He barely kept his lust in check. He needed to make sure that Fenris knew exactly what he was getting into before he let himself loose.

“Yeah… magister. If I can say that then something is wrong. Do what you need to, Aedan, I’m ready.”

Aedan slipped his arms between the mattress and Fenris and lifted the elf up as if he weighed nothing. With Fenris in his arms, he got off the bed and wandered into his study, the elf’s legs wrapped tightly around his waist. When he got to his desk, Aedan set Fenris down on a clean space before shoving the every pile of paper off of it onto the floor.

“Need to have good memories of this fucking thing,” he growled.

Fenris let Aedan do what he wanted, his body lax and pliant for his commander. “Take me…”

Aedan stepped back and urged Fenris to slip off the desk. He turned the elf so his back was to him and placed his hands on top of the cool wood.

“Spread your legs for me again,” Aedan whispered into his ear.

“Yes… ser.” Fenris moaned and did as he was told before he felt himself shoved face down on the desk, his belly pressed against the edge. His toes dug into the rug when he spread his legs, raising his ass for Aedan.

The commander rubbed a hand down Fenris’ spine and his fingers stopped just short on the curve of his ass. “Do you know why you’re in my office, Warden Fenris?” he asked and his voice held the snap of command.

“Because I failed to follow orders ser, I’m sorry.” Fenris whined as he raised his ass towards Aedan’s touch. “Please, ser, show me the error of my ways.”

“You’re going to learn how to follow orders, soldier.” Aedan’s hand raised and it came down with a crack on a firm ass cheek. “Am I fucking clear?”

“Yes… yes ser.” Fenris gasped as he bucked up to get smacked again.

“Next time you disobey me, I don’t give a fuck where we are. I’m going to take you right then and there until you learn. I’ll push you up against a cavern wall in the Deep Roads and fuck you until you know who you answer to.” His hand came down again and hit the other cheek.

“Yes, Aedan, yes, ser, I’m so sorry ser!” Fenris hissed and writhed against the desk. “Please, I’m so sorry, Aedan…” he spread his legs and arched his back for more of whatever Aedan had planned for him. The elf was deep into a submissive mind set and he fell over the edge easily to that space.

“Do you want to become a good soldier that follows orders?” Aedan asked. He bent down and ran his tongue over Fenris’ stinging backside before blowing on his skin.

“FUCK!” Fenris went rigid for a moment before slumped against the desk. “I’m so sorry...I’ll be good, I’ll be a good soldier, a good Warden.”

“Show me,” Aedan whispered. “Get on your knees.”

The elf slipped off the desk and dropped to his knees before Aedan, his eyes averted down as he thought he should do. “Please don’t send me away, ser; I’ll be a good Warden, please.”

 

Aedan stared down at Fenris’ bowed head and he frowned. This wasn’t what he wanted. Usually a submissive partner was just what he needed, but at this moment, with his feelings so raw and wine in his veins, he needed a bit more.

“You do that so easily,” Aedan said gruffly. “Maybe too easily for me right now…” he didn’t know how to put into words what he wanted from Fenris.

He tilted his head up and looked at Aedan before he frowned and broke character. “What do you need, speak plainly Aedan. Do you need me to fight you, to push back instead of simply accept what you wish to do to me?”

“Yes…” Aedan’s hands flexed at his sides. “Shit… This is a bad idea. I don’t want to put your mind back into bad memories.”

Fenris stood up and cupped Aedan’s face. “You’re not doing that. You need me to push back, I can do that. You need me to bend to your whims tonight, it’s yours. Aedan, there’s a need you have tonight and if you can’t tell me I can’t fulfill it. You...you bring out a side of me that I didn’t realize was alright to explore until a few months ago. What do you need me to do tonight? Push back against your discipline, struggle? I’ll do it happily and when you get what you need, tell me so you can sate yourself on me.”

“I need the fight,” Aedan admitted. “I need it for truth. If I can take you down then I take you. If you can defeat me then…”

“Then it’s what happens tonight. Do what you need to, and to the victor go the spoils eh?” Fenris tugged Aedan down and kissed him deeply before he stepped back and beckoned his friend into a fight.

Aedan grinned and swung out with a fist.

Fenris jumped back and returned his friends punch towards his chest.

Aedan took the blow, but only because he lunged forward and tackled the elf to the floor.

Fenris grinned and twisted so he could slide out from under Aedan, and danced away with a kick to his side.

“That’s all you have?”

Aedan’s pupils dilated and turned his irises into endless black. He snarled and surged up to his feet, his hands outstretched and reaching for the elf.

“Shit…” Fenris backpedaled but wound up flat against the wall. He got pinned easily and he nearly got lost in the way Aedan had him hemmed.

Aedan’s lips peeled back from his teeth as he leaned in to rub his jaw along the elf’s cheek. “Giving up so soon?” His voice had become guttural, the way it always did when his rage had started to consume him, a deep timber that reverberated from his chest.

“No… just didn’t think I’d be dumb enough to land flat against a wall already.” Fenris shoved against Aedan so he could slip away and get some distance from him while he was going into a full on rage.

The problem with Aedan and his rage was that he became single minded and the nuances of tactics would elude him. A single opponent, who knew that about him, had only to keep him lunging after them before he made a mistake.

Aedan whirled around and charged towards the elf.

Fenris ducked away and jumped on top of the desk, his heart pounding as he saw how Aedan was slipping into that rage he’d fallen to before. “Come on...you can do better than that Aedan.”

Aedan stalked towards the desk. He placed has palms on the smooth surface and his nostrils flared as if he were a predator sensing his prey.

The Tevinter elf swore at his stupidity in his head, he couldn’t just leap off the desk; Aedan might just catch him and fuck him stupid. If he fought him, the other warrior might well hurt him before he realized what he had done.

Aedan’s hand snaked out to grasp at Fenris’ ankle and then yanked hard.

He toppled over with a grunt and got pulled into Aedan’s arms. “Fuck… that’s gonna bruise.” he murmured as he looked up into Aedan’s eyes. “Aedan...you… still with me? You’re still ok right?” He said as he rubbed at his shoulder and winced at how hard he hit the desk before he was picked up.

In reply, Aedan turned Fenris in his arms and pressed him back into the desk, just as he had been before, with his hands flat on the wood and Aedan’s weight to his back. A drawer opened next to Fenris and a small vial was smacked down next to the elf’s right hand.

“Remember your word,” Aedan gritted out.

“Yeah… you remember it too.” Fenris snarled before he uncapped the vial with his teeth and handed it back to Aedan. “Hard to prep myself like this.”

“You aren’t going to.” Aedan pulled back just far enough to oil up three of his fingers. Without warning, he pushed one of them inside Fenris up to the third knuckle.

“GODDAMIT AEDAN.” Fenris howled as he arched up on his toes and screamed, the feel of the other man’s finger suddenly in him had stunned and surprised him.

Some of the rage in Aedan’s eyes had receded, but he still felt feral and on edge. All too soon a second finger joined the first and Aedan twisted the digits in search for that sweet spot inside the elf.

“Maker… oh … fuck.” the elf sobbed as his knees buckled and he contemplated using his word to end things. It was almost too intense and he was already sore, and was worried about what he would feel like after he was fucked senseless with the mood Aedan was in.

Aedan kept one thought in the forefront of his mind--that the moment Fenris said his word he was to stop. Until it happened, he was going to push the elf as far as he would go. He stroked inside Fenris and rubbed at just the right spot in just the right way he knew would drive the elf insane with need.

“Maker… Aedan… please.” he nearly sobbed as his knees gave out and he almost slipped off the desk. His eyes crossed and Fenris clawed at the desk with a whimper. “Fuck...fuck…”

“One more,” Aedan said. “One more and you can have my cock as deep as you need.” He pushed the third finger in, oiling him up and getting his body used to the stretch.

“Attention, soldier!” Aedan snapped. “Straighten your fucking legs and spread them wide.”

“Can’t… can’t … you … broke me, ser.” Fenris whimpered as he tried to stand up again. “Maker…”

“Good soldiers get rewarded,” Aedan hissed between his teeth. He pulled his fingers free and drizzled the rest of the oil along his aching shaft, spreading it along his cock with his palm. “Are you a good soldier, Warden Fenris?”

Fenris pulled himself upright and tried to calm himself. He was on the edge of either a melt down or sliding back into that submissive space in his head that he allowed only for Aedan. “Yes...I, I’m a good soldier ser.”

“You lost Warden Fenris, and what happens when you lose?” Aedan pressed the tip of his slick cock against Fenris’ loose hole.

“Dunno...sorry ser, I can’t…” Fenris whined as he tried to crawl up onto the desk and relax against the cool wood.

“What happens?” Aedan demanded. His cock just barely breached Fenris before he stopped.

“They get fucked ser.” Fenris sobbed as he tried to relax into Aedan’s grip and not tip over into a trembling mess on his commander’s desk.

“You need to say something to me, Fenris?” Aedan whispered softly. There was still a bit of the anger in his tone, but it was slowly dissipating. “We’re not doing this if you don’t want it.”

Fenris gasped and drew in a slow breath…”Not yet, just give me a minute and let me get on my back instead of face down.” he wiped the tears away that had started before he hopped on the desk and faced Aedan.

Guilt swamped Aedan as he helped the elf lay back and lifted his legs over the commander’s shoulders.

“Better?” He asked.

“Yeah… it’s ok now. I just… slipped for a moment. You ok?” Fenris asked as he laid back and closed his eyes, his body relaxed in anticipation of his sometimes lover making him unravel under him. “I’m a good soldier, ser, really.”

Something caught in Aedan’s throat when he spoke. “You are, Warden Fenris.” Slowly he pushed into the elf and groaned as Fenris’ body took him in and squeezed.

“Give it to me ser...Come on, I need...I need you to show me that I’m still a good Warden Ser, please give it to me.” He moaned and arched his back before he crossed his ankles behind Aedan’s head.

Aedan’s breaths shuddered and he pushed the rest of the way home. He fell forward and caught himself on his forearms on either side the elf. With a slight flex, he purposefully twitched his cock inside of Fenris, and let the elf feel him.

“Fuck...you’re gonna ...make me...oh fuck, Aedan.” Fenris’ mouth dropped open and he moaned long and deep as he was fucked over the desk. “Aedan…. Aedan… oh Maker.” he chanted repeatedly, his mind slipped back into that submissive space as he let himself just feel instead of think.

 

“Don’t come yet, soldier,” Aedan panted as he rocked into the elf. Every clinging, warm drag of Fenris’ body along his cock sent him spiraling higher. “Don’t you dare fucking come yet.”

“As you command, ser.” Fenris let Aedan lead them towards their climax even as he slipped deeper into that space in his head that let him give in to Aedan. “Please… ser, please!” he begged when Aedan thrust deep and hard inside him.

Aedan stood up and slipped his hands under Fenris’ ass to angle him just right. The muscles in his ass clenched with each powerful stroke and the elf’s cock bobbed between them. The desk creaked and slid a few inches, but Aedan didn’t relent, the smack of flesh on flesh permeating the air.

“Do you think you’ve earned your release?” Aedan panted. “Do you think that your commander should give it to you?”

“I don’t know ser… can’t… think right. I’m yours Aedan, for fucks sake just make me scream.” Fenris broke character and uncrossed his ankles so his partner could do as he pleased. “So far… into… headspace, please Aedan just take me over.” he pleaded before he arched his back and begged without words.

Aedan wrapped his fingers around Fenris’ cock and squeezed. Every pounding thrust jolted Fenris and sent the elf’s cock through Aedan’s fist.

“You beg so nicely,” Aedan gasped. “I want to hear you scream my name.”

Fenris nodded, his eyes were closed and he was whimpering non-stop. “Yes… yes, as you say ser, anything you want ser.” He was on edge and he nearly had come twice by Aedan’s stroking him.

“Then come for me,” Aedan rasped. He gave the elf a few more punishing strokes. He teetered on a cliff edge, but wanted to feel the tight squeeze of Fenris’ orgasm down the length of his cock first

The elf arched his back and moaned as he felt Aedan squeeze his cock and fuck him hard as he could. Fenris’ mouth opened and he screamed his plea for Aedan to make him his, to make him see the Maker and then fill him. His eyes were wide open as he started to come, and his ass clenched around the cock that was sliding into him so deep he felt it to his toes.

“Fuck,” Aedan groaned. “That’s it… Fucking…” He gave Fenris one last stroke and the breath escaped him between clenched teeth.

“Yes,” he gasped. “Fucking take it. Take all of it.”

Fenris screamed as his orgasm hit him hard and fast. He was babbling in Tevene by the time he was done and he dropped back to the desk in tears, as he felt Aedan driving into him towards his climax

Aedan’s breath seesawed through parted lips when he bent down and captured Fenris’ mouth in a kiss. The kiss was languid, a soothing after the harshness.

Fenris just sobbed quietly, even through the kiss. He was overwhelmed and unsure of what had happened between them over the course of the night.

“I’m sorry, Fenris,” Aedan whispered against his lips. “I’m so sorry.”

 

“It’s ok...not your fault I’m fucked up when it comes to some things. It’s ok...really. I was just on edge too and I didn’t know it would affect me like that.” He sat up and kissed Aedan gently. “Come on; let’s get a bath and go to sleep ok?”

Aedan was still tense when they made their way to the bathing chamber. It took a hot bath and getting cleaned up before he was able to relax. By the time they had dried off and crawled into bed, sleep, wine, and the after effects of sex had begun to wear him down.

“No more when I’m in a mood like this and have been drinking,” Aedan whispered in the dark.

“Ok...I’m ok Aedan really. You didn’t hurt me, well not much. Let’s just sleep please? Then we can get Anders and Zev, have breakfast and maybe he will be in a better mood. Good night.” Fenris curled into Aedan’s embrace and fell asleep quickly.

Aedan stayed awake long after Fenris had fallen asleep.

**

Anders’ foot tapped on the rug while he glanced at the closed door to Aedan’s study yet again. Aedan, Fenris, and Anders waited for the king to arrive for his meeting with the mage and Anders was visibly nervous.

He stood up and smoothed down his robes, making sure that it was as crisp as it was when he had put it on an hour ago.

Aedan had arranged chairs in the center of the room and a small table with scrolls that Anders had brought with him was set up in the middle.

The mage rearranged the scrolls before setting them back to the order they had first been in.

“Sit down would you? You’re making me nervous with your pacing and roaming about. You can’t look any more presentable Anders. Just...relax ok?” Fenris pulled him down to a seat next to him so the mage’s pacing wouldn’t drive him crazy.

“I’m going to do something stupid, I just know it. What do I know of talking to kings?” Anders took his seat and began tapping his foot again.

“You’ll be fine,” Aedan assured him from where he sat across from Anders and Fenris. “Just lay out your case and relax. Alistair isn’t frightening, I promise.”

“Says the man who went on a yearlong camping trip with him,” Anders muttered.

“Stop it; he’s a warden as well as King. Stop working yourself up like this, it’s making me anxious.” Fenris said as he rubbed circles across Anders back in an attempt to soothe him.

“I’m sorry I just--”

Anders was cut off when the door opened and the king walked in. Before the door shut again, Anders could see guards snapping to attention in the hall.

“Sorry I’m late. This place is huge, Aedan. How do you not get lost going to the privy?”

 

Anders, then Fenris immediately got to their feet and Alistair sighed. “No need for that. Please. I get it enough in Denerim. Sit down and make yourself at home since this is--you know--your home.”

Despite what the king had said, Anders and Fenris waited until he had seated himself next to Aedan before retaking their own seats.

“So!” Alistair said with a clap of his hands. He wore a deceptively plain tunic and breeches. Even Anders could tell that the material had to have been costly; for all that they were a deep brown and green.

“Anders.” Alistair pointed at the mage. “And Fenris. Nice to meet you again.”

“A pleasure to meet you your majesty.” Fenris bowed before he took his seat next to Anders. He looked over their guest with a critical eye. Even though he wore plain garb, it likely cost more than some Ferelden peasants would make in a few months. He said nothing but he wasn’t sure he cared for the passing attempt at being plain.

“Please call me Alistair,” he begged. “I get called your majesty so often you would think it was my first name.”

He cleared his throat. “Strictly speaking, we’re not having this meeting, but we are having a nice chat together in a friendly manner. The Grey Wardens are not trying to influence royal policy and an apostate is not going to put forth ideas for Circle reform in Ferelden.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Now if it comes up in the course of our friendly talk, then that’s just how it happened to be through no design of Anders, Aedan, or me.”

Anders let out a slow breath. “Understood.”

“Do you?” Alistair leaned forward. “The Chantry isn’t happy with me right now, or with Aedan. I’ll hear you out, but there are some things I won’t be able to do.”

Fenris sat back and listened to their talk with interest but he had no plan to speak unless he was asked for his opinion. He hoped that his thoughts could remain private, as he wished no fight with his lover.

“I understand, I really do,” Anders said. He straightened in his seat. “I am asking for just one thing. I’m asking it on behalf of every single mage that was ever ripped from their mother’s arms. I’m asking it for the mages that have had their identity stripped from them and their name stolen. I’m asking for every mage that has had a child taken from them.”

At the last, both Aedan and Alistair visibly winced.

“From the start mages are told they have nothing but what the Chantry allows them to have. I want… I want the Ferelden Circle to allow families to still see each other.”

“Did you know I was supposed to become a templar?” Alistair asked softly.

Anders swallowed. “Yes…”

 

“Then you don’t have to explain to me why this would be a good idea. What I do need is something I can bring to the table so I make it into law. The Chantry is going to fight me on this, even if the Ferelden Circle does not.” He gave Anders a crooked grin. “Especially since they are already angry with me for backing Aedan up when it came to you.”

“I’m sorry,” Anders blurted out. “I--”

Alistair waved his hand. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Anders has devised a way it might be implemented,” Aedan added.

The mage pointed to a pile of scrolls. “It would take several years, but it could be done. A slow method would be better because it would cause less upheaval.”

Fenris bit his lip against the desire to speak but couldn’t hold back his question. “What method would that be Anders?” he said quietly as he looked over the scrolls his lover had moved so that Alistair could see them.

“Those that are brought to the Circle that had been living with their family in Ferelden can still see their family, but their visits are contingent on their behavior.” Anders scowled. “I would rather that not be the case, but even I can see that telling all mages in Ferelden that they can still be with their loved ones would cause chaos. It has to be small and slow things first.”

“I see, it sounds like a doable plan but you know there will be resistance to even this small start to your plan.” Fenris sat back in his chair and folded his arms as he looked at Anders with a gentle look that he hoped conveyed that he was not obstructing his lover’s plans.

“Not if I point out that the mages of Ferelden were instrumental in the battle of Denerim,” Alistair said. “What have the mages gotten out of their part in the war? The dwarves got a new king plus trade agreements. The elves were given a large forest to call their own. The nobles were rewarded with new titles and wealth.”

“While the mages were allowed to live,” Aedan muttered.

“Exactly.” Alistair sat back. “I’ll have to use my considerable, kingly mind and ponder on how to make this work, but it will happen.”

Fenris looked between the King, Anders and Aedan then shrugged. He had his own thoughts on mage freedom but it was not the time or place. “Are you enjoying your visit...Alistair?” the Tevinter elf asked with a hesitation on calling the King by his name.

“Despite a certain former Crow wanting my balls on a platter, I am.” He gave Aedan a wry smile. When the commander had told the king everything, and he had even revealed his relationship to Anders and Fenris.

“You two need to talk,” Aedan said.

“Funny you should mention that. I went to go and look for him last night.” Alistair tapped his finger to his chin. “And you wouldn’t believe where I found him. Or more heard him.”

Anders’ eyes widened and his throat flushed a deep red.

“Where would that have been ser?” Fenris grinned briefly at Anders before he let his gaze go back to the royal warden at the table.

“Not in his room,” Alistair said and his eyes glinted with laughter. “When I asked later, I found out it was in Warden Anders’ chambers.”

“Bullshit!” Anders burst out. “My rooms have a silencing spell on them. You couldn’t have heard us.”

Aedan’s lips twitched before he threw back his head and laughed.

Fenris tried to hold back his laughter but he failed. “Is it possible the spell failed at a...critical moment?” the elf nearly slid from his chair as he laughed at the look on his lover’s face.

“You… You…” Anders’ mouth opened and closed comically.

Aedan grinned. “Didn’t I tell you, Fenris?”

“You did Aedan, you did. If you wish I can go get him so you two can talk and Anders and I can make ourselves scarce.” Fenris leaned over and gently closed Anders mouth so he could stop with the fish imitation.

Aedan gave Alistair a wry look. “You used to blush like that when we talked about sex.”

“I also hadn’t been married and had the privilege,” the king replied. “Besides, you should hear what goes on at court.” He visibly shuddered.

The door opened and four pairs of eyes swung over at the sound. Zevran sauntered in and arched an eyebrow as he shut the door behind him. “Your guards are deplorable,” he said to Alistair. “They let me walk by them.”

“They know who you are,” Alistair shrugged.

“Your appearance saved me a walk, Zevran. Come Anders, we need to ...get ready for dinner.” Fenris stood and went over to greet the other elf when his eyebrows arched as he spotted marks on the Antivan warden. “Fun night?”

“About as interesting as yours, yes?” Zevran replied idly.

Fenris had the good grace to look down and speak quietly to his friend. “Yeah...sort of, I’d like to speak to you later if you are free. I could use your...advice.”

“Always…” Zevran walked by Fenris and took the seat the elf had vacated. Anders took one look at the elf and got to his feet to follow Fenris.

“Enjoy yourselves gentlemen, I’ll be in the dining hall or my quarters if you need me.” Fenris slipped out of the door with his lover behind him. “I think we should have some Antivan brandy on hand and space in the bed. I see that going badly.”

“You ever get the feeling Aedan is worse at this relationship thing than we are?” Anders said as they made their way down the hall.

 

“Not really, he can’t be worse than us. He’s just worried that he’s hurt Zevran, and its gnawing on him.” Fenris said as they walked.

“What did he say to you last night?” Anders asked. “Zev and I didn’t talk very much. He was determined to forget himself for a few hours.”

Fenris let them into his room before he answered; he was still raw from the night before. He stripped and tugged Anders over to him. “He was worried he had pushed Zevran too far and that Alistair knew about how Aedan felt the whole time. I should have used my word to stop it, Aedan was in a mood. I’m still sore and I ...cried afterward.”

The elf wrapped himself around his mage and held him tight as he let himself relax finally.

“What did he do to you, love?” Anders asked. He tightened his arms around his lover.

“He was really rough, he was drunk and needed to be ...he needed me to be a good soldier and I should have used my word but I didn’t. I thought I could ...I thought I survived Minrathous so there was nothing Aedan could do that would hurt me. But I’m sore, and he felt so guilty Anders I thought he was going to cry.” Fenris moved back and beckoned Anders to lay with him.

Anders slid into bed next to the elf after had removed his boots. He placed a hand on Fenris’ cheek. “Do you need for me to heal you, love?”

“Yeah...I just need ...I need you to be with me alright?” Fenris said as he clung to Anders.

“Always,” Anders whispered. He sent healing magic through the elf and took away all of his aches and pains.

“I’m going to have a talk with Aedan tomorrow about this,” Anders said.

“Don’t… he already feels terrible Anders. I’m… I should have stopped him and used my safe word. I was the idiot that didn’t do that.” Fenris cuddled him closer and sighed. “Please...if you go talk to him anyway, don’t fight please.”

“If our positions were reversed, you’d be livid, love,” Anders pointed out. With a wave of his hand the candles in the room went out.

“Maybe I’m just getting soft as I get older.” Fenris muttered as he closed his eyes and let his tears fall silently, as he hoped that Anders didn’t notice his crying.

Anders rolled over on his side and drew Fenris in closer. He held onto the shaking elf tightly and let Fenris cry in silence.

After he was done, the elf curled on his side and tried to calm himself. “Sorry...I guess I needed that. Will you...tomorrow will you take care of me? I kind of want to be with you and not all those people. I’m sorry to be so needy Anders.”

“We can do whatever you wish, love,” Anders assured him. “Besides, you, Varania, and I should be concentrating on packing for our trip to Kirkwall so we have an excuse to be absent from things.”

“Oh fuck that trip, I don’t care right now. You’re both mages, and from what I hear it’s hostile to mages and I wonder if being a warden will be a decent enough reason to keep templar off our backs.” Fenris said crossly, he gaze on his lover.

“Oh, no. I suspect the trip will be terrifying for a variety of reasons. Still, I should make sure to pack my best dress robes.”

“Yeah...I’ll make sure---” he cut himself off for a jaw cracking yawn. “---that I’m ready to go, later in the week. Night, carissimi.”

“Good night, love,” Anders whispered.

**

It had been Alistair’s idea for Aedan to go and wait in the hall while the king and Zevran spoke. In retrospect, Aedan thought he should have foreseen the shouting match that ensued between them that was heard plainly despite the close, thick wooden door.

“Will you please stop yelling at me in Antivan!” Alistair shouted. “I might be a king, but I can barely speak Trade according to my advisors. I don’t understand a word you’re saying and I’m sure none of it is good.”

“You want me to speak in a tongue that you can understand? Then let me do so. You knew! You knew how he felt about you and what the two of us were going through and you did nothing, yes? You sat and plugged your ears with your fingers and pretended it wasn’t happening,” Zevran shouted back.

Aedan winced from where he stood in the hall, leaning against the wall opposite from the door. Two guards flanked the door at attention, but neither of them so much as glanced his way.

It was with some relief when Nate walked over to him and took up a spot next to Aedan. “Good evening,” Nate said with a small smile.

“I bet you’re loving this,” Aedan groused.

“Me? No, I’m not. But I would rather any fight with the king be because of your cock then because of anything I or the Grey Wardens did.”

“Oh, ha-ha,” Aedan said dryly.

Nate’s smile fell. “Did he mean what he said to me when he first arrived?”

“‘You aren’t your father’,” Aedan quoted. “Alistair knows all about trying to live up to an absent parent’s legacy. Trust me, he meant it.”

“Did the Grey Wardens really not care when he married?” Nate asked in an abrupt switch of topic.

Aedan shrugged. “He had to, but it worked out in the end for them. There’s nothing to say a Grey warden can’t be married, but the wardens come first, even before family. Not very many men and women would be willing to always be pushed aside and we can’t really have children, or if we can, not with each other.”

He gave Nate a sidelong glance. “Why…”

“Just curious,” Nate smiled a secretive grin. He pushed away from the wall. “It was nice talking with you, commander. Good luck.”

A crash resounded from the room and Aedan winced. “Thanks…”

**

Fenris woke up with a groan; he’d stayed curled around Anders after he’d fallen asleep. He leaned over and kissed the mage’s temple before he took a few minutes to answer nature’s call before he crawled back into bed with his mage.

Anders rolled over and took the elf with him, settling Fenris on top of him. He peered bleary eyed up at his lover and gave him a sleepy grin. “Good morning.”

“Hey...sorry didn’t mean to wake you.” Fenris muttered before he let his head drop to Anders chest.

“I don’t mind.” He rubbed his hand up and down the elf’s bare back. Lifting his head, he gave Fenris a sleepy kiss.

“I don’t mind if you continue to wake me like this.” the elf murmured against the mage’s lips. “Feeling good I take it? You didn’t tell me about Zev, he had a few marks on his neck from you. Got a little possessive I take it?” Fenris’ tone was mild and he fiddled with Anders bangs as he spoke, his gaze soft.

“Not me,” Anders said. “Zev has a way of figuring out the darker side of a person’s sexuality and bringing it out. It had been so long since I was… in someone and he wanted me to take him someplace where he didn’t have to think. I’m starting to realize that he and Aedan play the game on a deeper level than we do. It works for them, but for me… I can’t do that very often, not the way they do.”

He tilted his head to the side and his hands slipped down to clasp Fenris’ hips to him under the sheet. “At one point, he had me use my magic to restrain him bent over the side of the bed. I can’t say I didn’t like it; it was obvious that I did, but I wanted you there with us. It’s not nearly as fun without you.”

“Same for me was a bit weird without you there. You probably would have stopped Aedan when I didn’t. They are … they go further than we do that’s for sure. Did you enjoy fucking him Adelric? Do you miss how it feels?”

Anders’ semi-erect cock surged to life at Fenris’ words and bumped against the elf’s ass. “Do you want to hear about it, Fenris?”

“Yeah...tell me then maybe you can show me what you did, without using your magic.”

“I took him from behind, Fenris,” Anders admitted. “I won’t show you that. But if you mean…”

“What do you think I mean Anders?” Fenris said before he leaned in and kissed his lover deeply then pulled back and looked into his eyes.

“Love you,” Anders murmured. With a single, swift movement, he had Fenris on his back and the mage was between his legs.

“How about I show something that I will never do with him or any other?”

“As you wish.” Fenris watched his every move, unsure what Anders could offer to him that he would not do for another.

Anders bent down and kissed his lover. It wasn’t something harsh and full of need, but a slow kiss, a savoring of the elf.

Fenris arched up into the kiss and moaned softly. “What will you do with me amor?” he said quietly, his voice low and his grip tight. “Do you...wish to have me finally?”

“I wish to have every inch of you, inside and out, the way you have me,” Anders whispered against his lips.

He kissed under the elf’s jaw, tracing the hard angel with his tongue to slide up Fenris’ ear. He took the sensitive tip between his teeth, but didn’t bite down. Instead, he lashed at it with his tongue, laving the surprisingly soft skin.

“Please Anders...you can have me, just don’t tease like this. It’s… not, I’m not fragile.” He gazed into amber eyes that were full of affection for him and him alone and it undid the warrior.

“I know, love,” Anders whispered. “But I want to have you nice and slow. I want you have you gently and with love. Can you give me that?”

“I’ll try… I really want...I want you and this is slow, gentle and it’s driven me mad already. I want you so much.” Fenris tilted his head to the side and let Anders have his way.

Anders trailed his lips back down. He kissed the arch of the elf’s neck, and followed the slightly raised lines of lyrium on his throat. He pressed his lips hard enough so that Fenris could feel them through the scar tissue, but just barely, a slight tease in every touch.

“Dammit, you tease, Anders. Hurry up and stop making me want to beg you to fuck me. Maker...you...do things to me.” Fenris growled and tried not to turn the tables and take over.

“Just relax and feel, love,” Anders said with a small laugh. When he reached Fenris’ chest, his mouth gently latched onto one pert nipple, while he spread a hand over the other and rubbed his thumb over the taut flesh.

“Fuck…. fuck… Anders.” he groaned as he forced himself not to flip over and shove Anders to his back and take him.

Anders smoothed his hands over Fenris’ sides, his fingers mapping out each muscle and rib just under his skin. His tongue darted into the elf’s navel and swirled into it.

“Dammit Anders…” Fenris growled under his breath as he bucked against the sensations the mage was giving him.

When Anders moved down to the elf’s cock, he finally took pity on him. His lips spread kisses up the shaft before latching onto the leaking head. Slowly, he parted his lips and relaxed his throat, taking Fenris down to the root.

He wanted to tell the elf how much he loved the taste of him, the smell of him, and the sounds he made as Anders began to bob his head. Instead, he took one of the elf’s hands in his own and laced their fingers together tightly.

“So good… so … good. Please Anders, I’m yours already, just don’t...please. Fucking… stop making me…” Fenris whimpered and rocked his hips.

 

But Anders didn’t stop. His head moved faster, his tongue curling around Fenris’ cock on each upstroke. His hand tightened around Fenris’ in reassurance as he drove the elf closer and closer to the edge.

“Shit…” Fenris didn’t know which way to turn as he laid there and let himself just feel what was done to him instead of trying to force his lover to go faster.

Anders let Fenris’ cock slip free and he lifted his head up. “Get me the oil out of the drawer,” he rasped. His cock laid hard and heavy between his body and the sheets. Every movement of it against the soft fabric was delicious torture.

Fenris stretched over to get the oil and pass it to his lover. “Not on my hands and knees...alright?”

“It’s alright, love, I remember.” Anders sat back and uncorked the bottle. He poured some of the slick oil on his hand and grasped his cock with a hiss between his teeth. He rubbed the oil in and gasped, his ass clenching and raising him up at the pleasure.

After he poured more oil on his fingers, he corked it and handed it back to Fenris before settling once more on his belly between the elf’s thighs.

Fenris set the oil aside and focused on what Anders was about to do. He was terrified yet excited for the step Anders had moved them towards.

Anders didn’t enter Fenris right away. He took the elf back into his mouth in a slow slide as he circled Fenris’ entrance, gentling probing at the opening.

“Don’t… tease too much. Please … Adelric.” the elf whimpered as he watched Anders take him into his mouth and felt the nudge at his ass.

“Gentle, love,” Anders reminded him when he pulled back. He gave the elf a grin and pressed the first finger inside. It was an easy penetration, made all the more so when Anders leaned down and kissed along the juncture of Fenris’ hip.

“Don’t know… how to do gentle, sorry.” Fenris gasped as he sat watched Anders work his body like a fine lute.

“But you do, love. You really do. I see it whenever you speak to your sister. I see it when you look at me.” Anders carefully inserted a second finger.

The elf gasped and arched up against the feeling of being filled by his lover. “Hnnn, please, please.”

Anders pulled his fingers free and surged up to brace himself above Fenris. With one hand on his cock to steady it, and the other on the elf’s hip, he slowly began to enter him. Anders’ head dropped down and he groaned, but he forced himself to look back up so he could watch Fenris’ face.

Fenris’ head had dropped back to the pillows and he clutched at Anders with clawed fingers. “Maker….feels...so good.”

 

When he was seated to the hilt, Anders took Fenris’ hands in his own and wove their fingers together. He locked eyes with his lover as he pulled back for the first stroke, unwilling to miss a single detail of Fenris’ pleasure.

Fenris howled at the stretch of Anders in him. “Fuck...fuck…”

“Beautiful,” Anders breathed. “You’re so incredibly beautiful, Fenris. Not just like this, but all the time.” He rocked into his lover. Each thrust was angled just right to drive Fenris to greater pleasure, all the while, the mage whispered words of love and adoration.

“I love you so damned much. The warmth of your body, the rare smiles you give, and each little bit of yourself that you reveal to me.”

“I don’t… deserve you… this. Please Anders, I’m … sorry. Maker...I’m ...I’m…” his voice tapered off into a low moan as his lover pleasured him and made him feel like he was going to scream himself senseless or hoarse or both.

“You do,” Anders gasped out. “You deserve it all and more.” He leaned down and captured Fenris’ lips with his own in a languid kiss interspersed by low moans and gasped out, half formed words of love.

“I … love you so much.” Fenris whimpered as he was taken, his mind unable to wrap around the gentleness Anders showed and how he was so careful. “Wish...I could...show it better.” he moaned as he arched against Anders and blinked against the tears he could feel forming.

“You’re showing it right now,” Anders whispered against his lips. “You’ve trusted me with your heart and your body. Thank you, love.”

Despite his best efforts, the needs of Anders’ body began to demanding attention. His hips snapped as he moved faster and he pushed his cock deeper each time, until the sound of the snap of his hips and their panting breath filled the air.

“Anders...oh fuck, fuck, fuck…Maker… shiiiiiit.” he groaned as he held on to Anders and tried to keep his screaming down but failed. “Maker… Anders… fuck...oh fuck, can’t...don’t...oh ...ohhhh.”

Fenris’ eyes closed as he fought to make the mage keep them face to face, eyes locked. He felt too good and the way Anders had him going he was about to shout loud enough to make sure the mage knew he felt amazing.

“Look at me, Fenris,” Anders rasped. “Look at me and see what you do to me. See how much I love you.” He groaned and exhaled a shuddering breath as he fought back his climax. He wanted to see Fenris’ eyes in the exact moment the elf came. He wanted to hear the way Fenris came undone under him.

He wanted that moment of connection between them when they were both vulnerable and laid bare.

The elf opened his eyes and stared at Anders, his focus wasn’t there, it was on the way he felt, the tenseness in his body as he felt his orgasm coming upon him.

“Gonna...Maker...going to ….come.placere diligunt me venit” he said in the quiet of their room, his mind nearly blank as he neared climax.

“You don’t need my permission, love. Come when you’re ready.”

The elf clutched at his lover, his mind gone in the rush of his climax as he called on the Maker, Anders and whatever else popped into his head as he came hard, he coated his stomach and Anders, and nearly hit his chin with a few spurts.

“Do….as you will...please...give it...give me.” Fenris’ eyes closed and he held on to Anders as if his life depended on it.

Anders gasped out Fenris’ name as he came. The clenching of the elf’s body and the way he had looked when his climax had hit him, his mouth falling open on a cry, his throat flushed as his eyes glazed in pleasure, culminated in Anders thrusting into the elf one last time and finally letting go.

Fenris wrapped his arms around the mage’s neck and pulled him into a kiss, his mouth swallowed the mage’s moans until he stilled, the pulses of his cock slowed and stopped. “Love...you.”

“Love you so much,” Anders mumbled into the kiss. “You’re my heart. I didn’t think I would ever have this. Thank you.”

He carefully eased his body off of Fenris and rolled over to the side.

The elf laid there for some time before he sat up and kissed his lover gently. “You’re welcome.” Fenris laid back and closed his eyes, he didn’t care that they had made a mess. He was pleasantly sore and sated.

“You can have this… me, doesn’t need to be when I’m feeling needy either.” he said as he flopped back to the bed and caressed his mage’s face gently.

“I can see why you like it so much, I feel really good right now.” Fenris huffed a laugh and closed his eyes. “Sleepy again too.”

“Then go back to sleep, love. We can get a late breakfast.”

“Hmmm ok, clean up first.” Fenris mumbled as he fought sleep to get up and wash off.

Anders was the one to get out of bed and retrieve damp, soapy flannels for them both. He carefully wiped Fenris clean before he tended to himself, shivering slightly in the cold of the room. When he had set the dirty flannels back, he crawled into bed and curled in close to Fenris’ warmth.

“The cold season is coming. Maker, it’s freezing in here.”

“Keep me warm then.” Fenris said before he curled around his lover and fell back asleep.

**

The noon meal found Alistair, Zevran, and Aedan all seated together on the dais eating their meal. The elf and the king were laughing and whispering to each other and Anders couldn’t take his eyes off of it.

“You don’t think they…” he said in Tevene. His hand with a hunk of bread held between his fingers stopped, frozen halfway to his mouth and he jerked his eyes away from the dais and took a bite.

“No...Alistair is not interested in men; Aedan has said it enough times. I just hope this means he’ll be bearable on the voyage now.” Fenris said between bites of his meal, hearty potato, sausage and cheese mash served with warm bread and butter.

“Oh, I can guarantee you that he was always going to be more bearable than me,” Anders assured him. “I hate sea voyages. I’ve only taken one and it wasn’t a pleasant experience.”

He glanced up to see Nate weaving his way through the crowded hall towards their table. “Has Nate been acting strange lately, or is it just me?”

“Hmm just a bit, I think it’s because the King is here.” Fenris looked up when his sister joined them at the table, her mood light for a change.

“Everything seems to be better with those three today.” Varania motioned towards the dais before she dug into her meal.

“Thank the Maker,” Anders said. He gave Nate a small smile when the archer sat down across from them. “An unhappy assassin is never a good thing.”

“Nor a commander or king.” Fenris mumbled before he looked to his lover. “When did you travel the sea anyway? How unbearable will you be exactly?”

“When I was about twelve,” Anders replied. “That’s when the Templars shipped me off to the Ferelden Circle to see if a different location away from the country I was born in would bring me in line.”

Nate’s eyebrows rose at that, but he said nothing as he ate.

“I’m sorry.” Fenris looked down at his plate and continued to work on his food.

“Hopefully this time you will not suffer as much. We will be well supplied and you are free to roam about during the voyage. It will be alright Anders.” Varania smiled and patted her fellow mage on the shoulder as she rose to get more food.

“You’ve been in a chipper mood Nathaniel, care to share why?” Fenris asked in an attempt to switch topics.

Nate cleared his throat and gave the elf a small grin. “Maybe I have a lot to smile about lately.”

Anders held up his hand. “No, stop. You’re stoic and brooding Nathaniel Howe. If you start smiling all the time, I won’t know what’s real anymore.”

“Don’t be like that, Anders, people change. Look at you and Fenris.” Sigrun laughed as she rose to leave the dining hall. “As much as I’d like to watch this spin out, I have duty today. I’ll see you all at dinner.” She gave Nathaniel a kiss on the cheek before she sauntered out with a wave of her hand.

Nate waited until she had left the hall before he cleared his throat again. “I’m going to show you three something, but I won’t want any of you to say a word about to anyone else,” he whispered just below the chatter that filled the packed room.

“I know I can keep a secret as well as my sister. I don’t know about this one though.” Fenris grinned and gave Anders a playful smile. “I tease, amor, I tease.”

“You are having an unfortunate tendency to tease me, love,” Anders huffed. He then grinned. “But I like it.”

He looked at Nate. “But he does have a point, I’m terrible with secrets. Well, my secrets are locked up safe, but other people’s…”

“I’ll take my chances,” Nate said. He withdrew a small pouch from his waist and loosened the drawstrings. Turning it over, a small, gold ring plinked on the wood and rolled to a stop in the center of the table. The band was simple, but there was a finely cut, blue gem glinting from it.

“That’s beautiful; the blue almost matches her eyes. I take it you are serious about things between you then?” Varania asked a smile on her face and it reached her eyes for once.

“You mean to marry then?” Fenris asked quietly from his place next to his sister.

“Wait, can we do that?” Anders asked. “Do they allow Grey Wardens to marry?”

“Aedan said they do,” Nate shrugged. “The king is married. We can’t have children with each other and it’s hard to have them with someone who is not a warden. Most of us have no property. Aedan said that the wardens who marry are expected to understand that the Grey Wardens come first in all things. Even over family.”

Nate picked up the ring and held it up to the light between his thumb and forefinger. “But she and I are both wardens and we know what we’re getting into. I just wanted… I want to be with her for the rest of my life. I want to have some sort of commitment between us more than what we already have. It’s foolish, I know, but I hope… I hope I’m not going to be making a mistake.”

“Ser Howe,” Anders grinned. “You can take the man out of the nobility, but not the noble out of the man.”

“You’re not, you love her dearly. She will be happy when you gather your courage to offer your heart Nathaniel. I am happy for you.” Fenris smiled shyly as he looked to Anders then back at his drink.

“I’m sure you will be a handsome groom and she will be a radiant bride. I’m excited for you both.” Varania beamed at him and nudged her brother with a sly grin.

“I see you smiling, you don’t fool me brother.” she whispered in Tevene.

“There’s nothing to see my sister, you are hallucinating.” Fenris replied quietly.

“Hey,” Anders exclaimed. “No whispering too low for human ears to hear.” He gave Fenris grin.

“I haven’t asked her yet,” Nate reminded them as he tucked the ring away. “I’m not the most romantic person, and I want this to be perfect.”

“Don’t worry, however you ask you will do just fine.” Fenris pushed his plate aside and stood to go. “I should actually pack for our journey. We only have a couple of days before we are to depart. I’ll see you after lunch.”

“Do you want some help?” Anders asked.

“If you wish, I don’t think it will be particularly interesting though.” Fenris offered his hand to his mage so he could follow.

 

Anders took it and stood. “But we’re spending the day together, love, remember?” Together they left the hall and began walking towards the stairs.

“I just don’t understand why Nate would want to get married,” Anders said. “I mean, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t mean he loves Sigrun any less.”

Fenris scowled as they went. “It means commitment to his lover, it’s a bond Anders. Marriage and family and starting a life together means a lot to some people. It shows you and the world that you are serious. Don’t deride their happiness.”

“I wasn’t,” Anders said in defense. “It’s just that I never really gave it much thought. My parents never were happy for being married and it only made it harder for her to escape him. Mages aren’t allowed to marry unless they escape and manage to find someone in the chantry that won’t turn them in to do it. I just… There was never ever any reason to think on it.”

“At least you knew your parents; don’t take that for granted bad as it might have been.” Fenris growled as they neared his room. “I just...think it’s nice for them to be so happy.” the elf said evasively as they walked.

“I am too,” Anders said with a smile. “Maybe one day…” He cut himself off. “Let’s go and get packed, love.”

~FIN

Notes:

This is not the end of our dysfunctional warden's family adventures. We'll join them soon in the City of Chains for further adventures. Soon, Awaken Me: Kirkwall Nights will pick up where this story ended.

Notes:

Thank you to stealyourshiny for the ok to run with this idea with the RP between her and cypher already existing that is based on the same premise.

Series this work belongs to: