Chapter Text
Warmth was the first sensation that registered as Buck started to swim out of the fog in his brain. He’d been so cold, shivering and alone, but now he was deliciously warm and comfortable.
The next thing he noticed were the strong arms crossed behind his back, holding him close, and the bare chest under his cheek. He sniffed tentatively, and smiled when Eddie’s familiar scent of campfire hit his nose. He gave a full body wiggle in pleasure and tipped his head back so he could get closer to the source of the scent. There was something new to it that he couldn’t quite place.
He didn’t want to open his eyes yet, so comfy and cozy where he was, but an alarm was steadily beeping near his ear. He tried to remember if he had a shift and frowned when he couldn’t remember what day it was. He cautiously stretched out his foot until he hit a soft barrier.
Blinking his eyes open, he could see that he wasn’t in his apartment or at Eddie’s house. He stiffened as he took in the white walled room, monitors beeping above him confirming he was in a medical facility. Instead of a bed, he was lying on the floor in a round inflatable tub surrounded by LAFD t-shirts and other articles of clothing. It was a nest. Buck had never made a nest, but he recognized the set up from tv.
As he tried to push himself up to sitting, Eddie’s arms tightened around him and pulled him back down. “Rest, Buck,” he murmured, a hand coming up to stroke through his hair.
His eyes widened in shock, as he realized the position he was in. He was shirtless, Eddie was shirtless and they were lying in a nest in the hospital.
“Ed..d…die?” he stuttered. “What are you doing here?”
“Buck,” he said, “what’s the last thing you remember?”
“You left,” Buck whispered into his chest. “Moved to El Paso. I think I went to work?”
“I did, and you did,” Eddie confirmed. “And then you collapsed and Hen and Chim rushed you to the hospital. We’re in the Omega ward.”
“Oh,” Buck said. “So, everyone knows.”
“Yes, Buck, everyone knows, and eventually we’re going to talk about you keeping this a secret from all of us.” His arms squeezed Buck tighter to him. “You almost died.”
“I’m sorry,” Buck said.
“I’m just glad you made it to work. If you’d gone down at home…”Eddie trailed off, not wanting to voice his fears. “They had to put you in a coma to try to slow the shutdown of your organs.”
“How…how long was I out?” Buck asked. He was expecting to hear that it had been days at least, for Eddie to be back from Texas.
“About 10 hours,” Eddie said.
Buck struggled against his grip until he succeeded in pushing himself up. He needed to see Eddie’s face. Eddie’s eyes were rimmed in red, with dark circles under them. Stubble shadowed his jaw and his hair was greasy, matted in places and wild swirls in others. He was the most beautiful man he’d ever seen.
“How are you here?” Buck asked, confused.
Eddie chuckled. “As soon as I got the call I started back to you. Got Chris from school, hopped on a plane. Athena picked us up from the airport to get us here.”
“Chris?” Buck said. “Chris is here?” He sniffed the air, searching for his puppy scent. There, faint but fresh, was the unmistakable smell of the boy. It wasn’t exactly the same as it had been, the scent sharper with new notes of nutmeg and musk as he grew out of his baby scent and it reminded Buck of how much he had missed.
“He was in here with us until Denny showed up. They’re playing Switch in the waiting room. Do you want me to get him?”
Buck thought about it, the desperate need to see his boy again warring with his need to understand what was happening. “Um, not yet. But soon.”
“Okay, baby, whatever you need.”
He flinched at the pet name, “Baby?”
Eddie grimaced. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have presumed. God, Buck, I’m so sorry.”
“What do you have to be sorry for, Eddie? I’m sorry. You didn’t ask for any of this.”
“I left and you almost died, Buck,” he said, his eyes welling up. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Buck couldn’t look at him. He focused on his hands, picking at a scab on his knuckle. “I didn’t want it to change anything. I died, and I came back different. And everyone was already looking at me and hovering, acting like I was fragile. It reminded me of everything after…” he waved at his leg and shrugged. “I couldn’t do that again. I just needed everything to go back to how it had been. It’s not like it really changed anything for me.”
He could hear Eddie’s hiss of displeasure. “Buck, you’re an Omega now. You could have looked for an Alpha, had a baby, mated.” There was a pause. “Do you not want that?”
His eyes flew to Eddie’s face, “I do, I want that. But I couldn’t go looking for an Alpha.”
“Why not, Buck? Tell me.”
“You know why,”he whined.
“I know what your biology chose, but I don’t know what you want.” Eddie was looking at him, fondness and frustration on his face.
“You, Eddie. I want you,” Buck said. “You and Chris are my family. You have been for years.”
“Buck,” Eddie said softly, “Who is Dani?”
Buck startled, eyes going wide. “How do you know that name?”
“You were shouting about her when I got here, wouldn’t let the anyone near you. Just kept pleading for your daughter.”
“When I was in the coma, the first time,” and isn’t that a fun thing he needs to clarify, “I dreamed that we were mated, with a baby on the way. I’d never been so happy, even though I knew something was wrong.”
He could feel the tears starting to creep down his cheeks. “I left that world behind and came back, and the doctors told me I was an Omega. It was the worst thing they could have told me. Because I knew how it felt to be your Omega, but I also knew that you didn’t want any Omega, let alone a male Omega. You were the only option, but you were never an option at all.”
Eddie made a pained noise, his hand reaching out.
Buck wiped his eyes, sniffling. “I decided that it didn’t matter. I’d continue to be your friend, to be Chris’s friend, and I’d try to forget that other life. I thought, maybe, I’d meet someone, or you’d meet someone and I’d move on.” He gave a watery laugh. “Obviously, that didn’t work out.”
Buck took in a shuddering breath. The memories were indistinct, ephemeral. Like waking from a dream, just an impression remained. “I went back, to that world, and she was there. Our daughter, Danielle. She was beautiful. She called me Mama and loved Winnie the Pooh and making block towers. She had your eyes and my hair and everyone loved her.”
He broke down in sobs. “I loved her.”
Eddie moved across the space between them, pulling him into his arms to tuck him firmly against his neck, rocking them back and forth. “I’m so sorry, baby. She sounds perfect. I’m so sorry you had to leave her behind. I wish I could have known her.” He dropped soft kisses to Buck’s hair as he sobbed in his arms.
“She wasn’t real,” he sniffled after a while, pulling away. “I know that.”
“She felt real to you,” Eddie said, his hand wiping the tears from his cheeks. “It’s okay to be sad that she’s gone.”
“Thank you,” Buck said, ducking his head. “I know this must be weird for you, and I appreciate you staying to help me.”
Eddie frowned at him, but his response was interrupted when the door open and a man in a white lab coat entered the room.
“Ah, Mr. Buckley. It’s good to see you awake.”
———
Eddie itched to pull Buck back into his arms as the doctor started telling Buck about everything that had happened in the hospital. The last thing he had said had been odd. Eddie puzzled over his words. Why would Buck be thanking him? Was it possible that he didn’t understand what it meant that he was here in Buck’s nest?
He tuned back into the conversation as the doctor started talking about Buck’s current condition.
“I’m happy to say that your hormone levels have stabilized and you are no longer in danger of a full system collapse. We’ll need you to stay for a few more days to make sure there are no spikes or dips, but you’ll be able to go home after that, provided Mr. Diaz stays with you.”
“Oh,” Buck said, glancing nervously at Eddie. “How long will he have to do that?”
“You will need to be in close contact for a least the next few weeks and then we can evaluate if you’re ready to have short separations. Once the suppressants have cleared your system it will take up to 3 months for your heat cycle to start. After you mate, you’ll be able to take supplements that will allow you to have longer separations, but I would caution you against being apart for more than 24 hours for the next 6 months.”
Eddie couldn’t understand why Buck looked so worried at the doctor’s words. Not having to be apart from Buck, being able to take care of him, and hold him, and cherish him sounded ideal to him.
“And if we didn’t mate?” Buck said, and Eddie looked at him in shock. What the hell?
The doctor’s eyebrows raised as he glanced between the two men. “Well, you would still need to be together for a few weeks, and Mr. Diaz would need to stay in the area after that to contribute scented items to help with the withdrawal from the bond severing process. Or,” the doctor hesitated, “you could chose to have antioxytocin treatment, but I advise against it.”
“No,” Eddie shouted. “No,” he repeated, quieter. “I did not turn myself inside out getting to you for you to take the cure anyway. If you want to sever the bond,” he said, stomach roiling at the the thought, “then I will do whatever is needed.”
The doctor cleared his throat. “I’ll leave you to discuss the options and rest.” He swept out of the room, closing the door behind him.
“Buck,” Eddie said, wanting to move closer, but unsure of his welcome. “Do you not want to stay bonded?”
Buck had tears in his eyes as he looked at Eddie. He shook his head, and Eddie’s heart dropped into his stomach. It made sense, that given a choice Buck wouldn’t want to tie himself to the mess that was Eddie’s life. “Oh. Okay. That’s your choice.” He swallowed hard. “Can I ask why?”
“Eddie, you don’t want to be mated to me. You actively avoid Omegas and I’m not going to trap you in a relationship that you didn’t ask for just because I was dumb enough to fall in love with you. This is my mess, and I’m going to clean it up.”
Oh, his stupid, dear, self-sacrificing fool of a perfect mate was going to be the death of him one of these days.
“Buck,” Eddie said, scooting closer and finally letting himself reach out to grip his shoulder, “It has been pointed out to me, by multiple people, that I’m an idiot. I’m sorry I didn’t realize what was right in front of me all this time until it was almost too late. Driving away from you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and I never want to do it again.”
He moved his hand to cup Buck’s face, ducking to make eye contact. “I love you. I need you. You’re my best friend, my partner, my Omega. The only Omega for me and I will spend as long as it takes to convince you that I want to be here, that I want you, and I want the life you dreamed up for us. Will you let me?” He held his breath as he waited for Buck’s response.
“You love me?” Buck asked, his voice cracking.
“Yes. So much. I fell for you so easily, that I didn’t even notice.” His eyes darted to the side, and then back. “I thought love was supposed to be hard, that you had work for it. I kept trying to make myself love the women I dated. I tied myself up in knots trying to make myself the perfect partner so they would love me, but you, you know me. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I never had to pretend with you, you just let me be me. You make me feel safe, you see me and you keep coming back. I have never doubted that you would be there when I needed you. I took you for granted, and I’m going to get better about that. Because you are amazing, and I will tell you that as many times as it takes for that to sink in.”
He pressed his forehead to Buck’s. “I really want to kiss you now. Can I?”
“Yeah, yes, yes please,” Buck breathed out.
He looked into Buck’s eyes, seeing hope, and love, and desire there. This was his future, this was everything he’d ever wanted gazing back at him. “I’m going to court you, properly,” he promised. “I’m going to woo the shit out of you, Evan Buckley,” he said with a smirk.
He pressed their lips together and it felt like coming home.