Chapter Text
“…The Lady Bone Demon,” Macaque answered at length, tail curling timidly curling around himself.
Awaiting the inevitable.
Wukong’s breath caught in his throat, pushing Macaque away as he retreated backwards.
“I thought you didn’t join her willingly. When you had the ice, you were saying– were those lies, too?!”
Macaque flinched at the shove, instinctively reaching his arm out again. “No! I didn’t! I never wanted any part of that! You thought I was lying?”
“Oh, I don’t know, Macaque! You spend the last few centuries hellbent on revenge and trying to kill me, took every opportunity you could to sabotage us racing to get the Rings, did aaaaaaaall that big talk about sticking with ‘the winning side’, not to mention how you delighted in MK’s pain and suffering the whole time! And now you’re telling me that you bound yourself to her with a DEAL from the start!? What other conclusion am I supposed to come to based on the evidence?!”
He knew Wukong didn’t need air to breathe, but the way the sage was hyperventilating was unnerving. Eyes shot and stricken as he drew further away from Macaque trying to reach back out, brows drawn taught as his frown quivered to reveal bared fangs.
“How could you? How COULD YOU?”
Another punch to the face would have hurt less than seeing the betrayal in Wukong’s eyes again.
“Look, you have all the right to be upset. But back then, I didn’t know what she was gonna do! I didn’t think she’d ever even get out! I wasn’t gonna let her out like she wanted me too, either,” Macaque said, trying to defend himself. He knew there was no protecting her, nor did he want to, but it wasn’t like he’d been plotting with her or anything! He’d just wanted to get out of his imminent punishments!
“…Which kind of came around to bite me in the ass when she did get out,” he added in a grumble. A shiver went down his spine as he could practically feel the grip against his throat, that all too familiar cold seeping into him.
“Oh, DO you?” Sun Wukong’s anger was back with a vengeance, flicking Macaque’s forehead harshly. Repeatedly. “The same evil bitch who tricked my Master and companions in an effort to eat our souls? Deceived them into using the circlet’s power and banishing me the first time, which you considered cruel enough to want to kill them for it then and there when I told you! That’s who you turned to!? You really didn’t think she wasn’t up to anything bad enough to throw away your soul into a deal with her?! Unbelievable! How stupid can you be?”
“It wasn’t like I intentionally sought her out! She came to me!” Macaque defended. “And it was either risk my soul in the deal, or guaranteed torment for who knows how long before being carted out to reincarnate and made to forget it all!!”
“You don’t go making deals you have no intention of honoring! Ever!! You know that! And by taking that deal regardless of doing your intended part of the bargain, you still gave her power with that deal and brought the key that could release her to the living plane where it could be used by anyone who got ahold of it!! And you still had the fucking AUDACITY to act like I was the only dumbass here for falling for Azure’s tricks all these centuries? For all the times I was too cocky about his Rebellion? You had your all-hearing EARS on your side to tell you how stupid an idea that was and all the ways it would have gone horribly before it ever HAPPENED!! And you. Still. Did it!! You don’t have the RIGHT to call anyone stupid again after pulling that shit!!”
The sage was heaving again as he finished shouting, tears rolling again. “… You really hated me that much… and yet you…”
Macaque grit his teeth, his own anger rising up in retaliation.
“Yes, you were a dumbass for that! You had options! You wouldn’t have faced any consequences for not going through with Azure’s schemes! If I didn’t take that deal, I wouldn’t have gotten out of Dìyù! And as for my ears, what does it matter how many bad futures I heard with them? It doesn’t stop the bad stuff from happening, no matter how much I try. So what was the point?!” he snarled back.
It was like Wukong thought he still had a choice back then. Like he’d made those decisions willingly, like he wanted to do them.
He didn’t.
He hated it. He hated every single part of it.
Macaque wanted to strangle LBD at every point, but that would mean putting his shot at escape at risk, especially at first. Later on, it meant risking getting sent back to that hellhole.
“And no, I actually didn’t know just how badly this would turn out, so don’t blame me like I did it on purpose. Even if I could’ve used my hearing, I realized there was no point to it and stopped using it centuries ago! If I knew how things would’ve ended, you really think I still would’ve done everything that I did?” he scoffed, tail thrashing.
It was like Wukong expected him to know everything at all times as it happened or before and act accordingly. Even when he did listen to the future, it never worked out that way!
The Monkey King yelled skywards, throwing his arms out.
“And you think me putting my trust in Azure was me wanting to fuck us both over on purpose?! If Azure was dozens of walking red flags I was too stupid to see, the LBD was wearing ten thousand on bright display that you somehow thought was more trustworthy than our former brotherhood! It was nothing short of SPITEFUL on your part to choose her after my first encounter with her, unless you were just pretending during that!”
“I never said I trusted her!” Macaque snapped in protest when Wukong compared LBD and Azure. Just because he’d made the deal, didn’t mean he ever actually trusted her. And for Wukong to think…? “And pretend– You thought I was pretending after you were wrongfully banished?!”
“Well, what am I supposed to think now? You chose the Bone Spirit over me in the end!”
“Well, why should I have had any reason to believe you’d help me when I was under the belief you were the one who killed me? It’s not like I was picking between you and her while you were also down there offering me help!”
“Oh, sure. Believing the word of the Bone Bitch! Because she was soooooooo much more trustworthy!”
Macaque flinched at the reminder.
“Also! ‘Didn’t have options’?! You did have options, Macaque!! Especially in Dìyù!” Wukong exploded back, eyes wild and arms spread out wide in disbelief. “We fought there when you were impersonating me! Did you honestly forget about Dìtīng, literally the ONLY other being who can hear everything like you and was able to figure out who was who between us besides Buddha? His master is Kṣitigarbha, one of the big guys in charge of the whole realm! His entire schtick is emptying the hells and helping souls! Hell, I worked with him on the Journey to bring someone ELSE back to life as part of one of our final trials!! We– he would have done something. And all ten of the Yama Kings would have helped you sue me to settle their own grudges, so you had other means to get revenge on me, too! You didn’t have to choose evil incarnate and nearly doom all of existence several times over to do it.”
The shadow’s fingers clenched into fists. So many of the ink curse’s scathing words echoing back.
“It was your choice.”
“There were ample other options you could’ve taken.”
“Other less fast-acting options, but options all the same. But no. The Six-Eared Macaque is never wrong! Never made any mistakes in his life and it’s always someone else’s fault when bad things happen! Even the things he does to himself!”
“Ample other times where you could’ve communicated your plight to the heroes who would have been willing to help… Yet you always spat on the offer. Opting to do this instead…”
“You chose to accept the Lady Bone Demon’s aid in resurrection. You chose to accept a deal with her knowing you would be placed in that position! YOU chose to go back on that deal that you knew would bite you back should she be freed by other means and come to collect on the debt that you owed! YOU put yourself there! No one else!”
“You would readily doom humanity for the sake of selfish gain, yet claim Wukong is the selfish one?”
“–the Six-Eared Macaque only looks out for number one, only cares for his own self interest! Tearing down EVERYONE in his way without a care! Then has the GALL to scathe his former friend of the very same sins with such utter scorn, with such vitriol and adamance that such atrocities are completely unredeemable! Atrocities you YOURSELF have committed in DROVES!!”
Like it was so easy.
He knows what he did was wrong, but Wukong really acting like it was that easy. Like it was such an easy choice for him stung.
Was it because he was so used to getting whatever he wanted? Even when the damn circlet was holding him back, the Great Sage was able to pull off all kinds of shit! He may be on a similar power level to Wukong, but he’d lost their fight. And pretty much every fight he’d had with Wukong since.
And these so-called other options? Please.
“Riiiiight, because the Ten Kings would be so lenient on me after I threatened to wreck their entire realm back then. That makes total sense! You also told me that my name was crossed out of the Book, remember? You really think the Kings would pass up an opportunity to give me my death when it’s been denied to them for who knows how long?!??? And suing you? Y-You really think they would trust me to actually pull that off when you were the reason I was down there? You may have not delivered the final blow, so it may not have entirely been you, but you still played a part!” Macaque retorted, jabbing a finger towards Wukong.
“You are impossible!! OF COURSE THE KINGS WOULD!!” Wukong shouted, desperation seeping into his frustration. “There’s not a DAMN official or big shot in Heaven or Hell who would value their distrust of you, over their hatred of me!! You think they wouldn’t go running back to Buddha to put another circlet back on me if you gave them the perfect excuse on a silver platter? Be fucking for REAL! They’d agree to revive you out of doing them such a grand service to them as a thank you! And Kṣitigarbha outranks them! He wouldn’t let them screw you over even if it turned out they wanted to if you went to him! All you had to do was reach out to Dìtīng! If you at least tried it and got nowhere, then I’ll give you that! You were failed again and you were left with no other options, but did you even TRY?!”
Macaque stared.
Would a single death after completing a fourteen year journey of good deeds really be worth a whole other circlet? Really be able to count that much? And it was like Wukong thought he wanted that damned thing back on him. Sure, he’d been mad. Wanted him dead back then. But he never wanted to torture him like that. And Kṣitigarbha…..
“If the Yama Kings won’t help you, what makes you think he will?”
No, that was her! ….But he’d listened to her. Let her whisper doubt and fear into his mind, until his only option was…..
It couldn’t have actually been that easy this whole time though, could it?
“…Did you just not care who got hurt because you had no idea what you were doing?” the Monkey King asked, words harsh and cold as the Lady Bone Demon herself. “Were they just in the way for you to discard when they were no longer useful to you? Whether or not it was ‘personal’? So long as you got your way, what you wanted? Why was it only unforgivable when I did it, but you get to be completely above all reproach whenever you do it?! How do you justify that!? …How were you ever a better person than me for everything that happened with the bone demon? What made me the bigger monster between my trying to use the Fire to kill her, and you threatening MK and the others’ lives to force the ritual sooner, nearly destroying all reality to use it yourself and leaving the rest of us to die if we didn’t manage to clean up your fucking mess after you abandoned us all after using them to serve only yourself!? Can you answer that, or am I just gonna hear you deflect with another ‘you were worse, so there’ non-answer pretending you’re somehow morally superior and more mature?”
“I… Well…”
You can’t, asshole. You know that you can’t. There’s no justifying any of that, and you were shit for trying to pin everything on him.
A bitter laugh left the sage as he briefly stopped his tirade, running his hands through his mane. “My plan wasn’t ideal, and you didn’t want to see me succeed. But maybe if you did, you’d find you might’ve been far happier with the end result and have a world left to live in to have enjoyed it!”
…
Oh.
Oh, we’re playing dirty now, are we?
“Maybe it was a bad decision, sure. But you don’t get to act like I personally damned the world and you for making a choice that was my only way out at the time! And I didn’t ruin the ritual because I wanted to make you fail! The Samadhi Fire was my only out! Literally! The fire burned away her connection to my soul. It freed me completely from her control. Why do you think I suddenly started helping the group after that? It’s because I couldn’t without risking literal death!” Macaque yelled, bearing his fangs.
“Also, what do you mean about me being happier with the end result of your original plan? Pretty sure if I hadn’t jumped in I’d still be under her control. So how would that happen otherwise? What about your plan of recklessly using the fire would I like???”
Wukong raised a hand, looking like he was ready to shout.
Then in a blink, he was gone.
Macaque didn’t have time to question it before distant shouts hit his ear drums, alongside the splintering of a cliff side from angry punches.
It was… unexpected, but Macaque decided to use that time to get some of his frustrations out on a nearby tree. Which promptly broke from the impact, the tree falling over. Macaque hoped Wukong didn’t care a lot for that tree in particular, but covered it with a glamour.
Just in case.
When Wukong returned back a few seconds later, his golden gaze was thunderous.
“You’re full of shit and you know it, and still you want to make excuses! And maybe if you weren’t trying to kill MK and the others instead of, I don’t know, letting MK fucking HELP YOU without the torture, attempted murder, and nearly destroying all of reality, you might have had a case to stand on for what happened with the Fire! You keep saying I had options and you had none, but that’s bullshit and you know it! You didn’t HAVE to beat MK within inches of his life, you didn’t HAVE to strangle Mei, you didn’t HAVE to coerce anyone with force and violence the way you did when MK would have handed it to you had you just asked like a person with actual common decency!! You didn’t have to attempt to kill or drag ANY OF THEM into your vendetta, that was only ever just between YOU and ME, you fucking hypocrite!!”
Macaque knew he didn’t have any good answers for that. He could try to explain, but they were only excuses and certainly wouldn’t do him any good if he brought them up now. He was panicking. Desperate. She was creeping into him and he just wanted to get her out before he lost control.
Under the barrage of accusations… no, the list of his sins, all of the crimes he’s ever done, Macaque found himself stepping backward. A step for every opportunity he had where he could’ve just… not been an absolute asshole. A step for every jab to his chest.
Maybe he should’ve just stayed dead.
Wukong was heaving for breath again, having punctuated his last sentences by jabbing his finger into Macaque’s chest as he met the other’s retreating steps back with his own steps forward. Only to now choose at this very moment to end the weird dance by latching his hand onto Macaque’s collar and forcing him to look him in the eyes. Voice resolute as it was harsh.
“And yes, you would have been better off if you hadn’t kept fucking it all up every single time. MK wouldn’t have kept bottling everything up and feel like he couldn’t turn to me or his loved ones for help, had you not kept fueling his insecurities alongside the Lady Bone Demon. Mei wasn’t supposed to have the burden of the Fire as hers to wield. I never would’ve asked that of her or force her into that position the way you did taking that choice away from all of us! I was going to host it. The plan was that I would vessel it and wield it to destroy the demon and every last trace of her vile magic from every existence! You’d be severed from her, along with Bǎi-èr, I wouldn’t have had to been possessed to nearly kill everyone around me against my will for the nth time, and the only ones who would have had to suffer the flames would have been the ones who actually deserved their immolation!!! I was giving all of you what you wanted and you still kept RUINING EVERYTHING, you fucking jackass!!”
Macaque’s eyebrows furrowed as Wukong laid out what his plan would’ve been. Scouring his memory of what the sage had said before back then. Something wasn’t….
“But…. The Samadhi Fire was one of the only things that actually hurt you. If you hosted it…it could’ve killed you!” Macaque pointed out.
“That was the point!!”
Wukong’s shout echoed across the entire mountain.
“That. Was the whole. Fucking. Point.” he spat out again with a snarl, somehow more deafening than the first time.
……
Macaque just stared at Wukong for a few seconds as his words processed in his brain.
His world crashing down with it.
“…N-No. No. No, no, no, no! Wukong! Peaches! You don’t mean that!” he was practically pleading with Wukong as he grabbed his arm.
“We promised honesty with each other for this conversation. It would be a lie if I told you otherwise.” was the king’s icy reply, tugging his arm as if to pull away. Macaque refused to let him. “That was the plan. It wasn’t the most well-executed plan, but it was a plan. A great plan, even. And I still have days where I’m angry because I wish I succeeded. Where I hate that I lost the chance with possibly the one thing powerful enough to–”
“Why would you say that?!”
“Not too long ago, that was what you wanted!” Wukong snapped back.
“No, it wasn’t!!”
The Great Sage’s eyes burned red once more. “You don’t get to demand 100% honesty from me for this conversation and then not do the same! You owe it to me to be truthful just as you deserve I be fully honest with you!”
“I am!!”
“Liar! Since WHEN was my death not what you wanted as of the last few seasons of the last several centuries? Mr. ‘Gonna Be Sooooooo Satisfying Killing You with Your Own Powers’? Trading my life for yours to the Bone Demon? Just Hell to everything and everyone else so long as you saved your own skin, wasn’t it?!”
“It’s going to be SO satisfying killing you with your own powers!!”
“I didn’t mean it!”
“Yes, you did.”
“No!”
Wukong sighed, looking skyward. Exasperated.
“Macaque, it’s fine. It’s fine that you did, just don’t lie about it!”
“NO! It’s not!” the warrior argued back.
“You’re right. It was shitty on your end.”
“Wukong! Stop!”
“I’m agreeing with you! Why are you still mad!!?”
“Why? Why would you think that was a good plan?!”
Macaque then watched in real time as Wukong’s eyes lost all their shine and luster, a deadlike haze glossing over them just as before inside the Scroll. “I’m immortal enough that I would have at least withstood it long enough to finish the job. Whether I lived or not after didn’t matter, though I know 99% of you all would have been happier if I didn’t. Win-Win, two for one, really. It’s the least we deserve.”
No tells.
Not a single trace of a lie.
Wukong was being dead serious.
What he said here and had said when Macaque found him in the scroll, it had all been–
A feeling of absolute horror grew in Macaque’s gut, taking over him completely.
“What??? No! The kid would be crushed! He told you himself he isn’t ready to not have a mentor! Why in all the realms do you think he’d be happier if you were dead?? And I know I wouldn’t be happier,” Macaque insisted.
The king rolled his eyes. “Do you not listen? 99% is not 100%. He’s the 1% outlier. He also has far better mentors to work with now than some idiot who doesn’t know what he’s doing and does nothing but endanger him. Some he’s had all along. What use am I? And since when did you care about MK having me as his mentor?”
Now Macaque felt like screaming off a cliff.
“Don’t you dare. Don’t you fucking DARE try to pull this!”
“Macaque–”
“And who’s this other mentor he’s gonna have? I know you don’t mean me. And we both know the pig doesn’t care enough for history to be able to prepare the kid for past threats coming back. He won’t even acknowledge his connection to the other pig! And if you’re gonna say Glasses, he may have book knowledge, but his ‘weak ankles’ aren’t gonna let him teach the kid how to fight. So who’s this mystery mentor that’ll prepare him???” Macaque challenged.
“And….fine. Maybe I did want you dead. But maybe I also changed my mind. Maybe that’s not what I want anymore. Ever think of that?”
“Jangles has the history covered, big guy’s got the mental spiritual side, piglet’s the proper role model, and what he doesn’t cover relating to combat, Mei and now Red Son will have the rest handled on that end.” Wukong answered easily. “That’s five more suitable mentors, plus any additional more qualified ones to choose from should you all choose to seek them out.”
“Last I checked, no one else in their group had hands on experience with being a mystic monkey,” Macaque countered. “And even if they would be good mentors, it doesn’t matter. The kid doesn’t want them as his mentors. He. Wants. You.”
“I…”
Wukong’s hold on his ru laxed slightly, voice breaking. “Just why, Macaque? Why do you still care? Why are we– What good was I ever to you in the end when all I did was make your life worse? What’s the point in clinging to a curse that does you harm, a waste of years off your life? …What here,” he gestured with his free hand over all of himself, “was ever worth everything you suffered? Nothing.”
It was on this day that Liù'Ěr Míhóu’s core and soul broke to pieces in horror.
Worse than when he died centuries ago.
Wukong…
Wukong actually thought, actually believed–?
No.
No.
This ended now.
“Because MK cares about you. And discarding his wishes because you don’t think you’re ’good enough’ is just selfish!”
In the face of Wukong’s balking surprise, Macaque poked a damning finger back into the king’s armor.
“And what part about my whole ‘I love you’ rant does your stupid ass still not understand? It may not make sense, but I don’t care. I just want you. Things went to shit. Over and over they’ve gone to shit, but I’m tired of being on my own. I’m tired of being crushed under bitterness and regrets. I miss us. Is that still not enough? Did I destroy any credibility I had? I mean, that makes sense, all things considered. No wonder you don’t believe me. And even if you did, would it even matter? Clearly you think removing yourself from the equation would be the best. And my opinion has never trumped yours before. Why would it now?”
Macaque ran a hand through his hair as his thoughts began to spiral. Why should Wukong believe him? Or care?
If he was in Wukong’s shoes he wouldn’t believe him either.
And why would he still care for him, after everything he’d done to so thoroughly burn any remnants of that bridge?
His collar was released as Wukong’s strong hands took hold of his arms. Mouth opening and closing as he struggled over his words.
“I… M… Míhóu… 请不要哭 qǐng bù yào kū, don’t…” the king sighed, head low. “…don’t say that. You’ve always been better than you think you are. You’ve always deserved so much better, why can’t you see that?”
Macaque clasped Wukong’s shoulder, gentle but firm as locked eyes with the sage.
Unrelenting.
“I don’t care about what I deserve. I want you! Gods, no matter how much I’ve tried to bury my feelings, I still care for you. I can’t help but care about you! I never stopped and I never will! And I’m not the only one who does. So does the kid. And sure, your relationship with his friends may not be…the best, but they care about him. Even if they hate you to their bones, which I highly doubt, they wouldn’t want you gone either because of how much it would crush MK. And what about Nezha? I know you and him have fought a bit, but I also know he stood up for you against his father, and has fought with you just as much if not more than the times you’ve been pitted against each other. You really think he’d be happier if you were gone? And what about the little ones? There’s no way they’d be happier with that and you know it.”
“But–”
“Besides, if you really were such a monster, why are you still taking all the blame? Saying I deserve better when I’ve fucked up both our lives over and over and over? A monster wouldn’t care how I feel and try to make me feel better. A monster wouldn’t take all the blame even though I’m just as much to blame. You’re. Not. A. Monster. So please believe me when I tell you that,” Macaque said, his tone changing from passionate to more soft as he spoke. His arms shifted so he could grab Wukong’s hands with his own, giving them a gentle squeeze.
Wukong’s eyes widened, shifting between shock, disbelief, unease and uncertainty.
Macaque felt him shift under his hold, shaking. As if wanting to keep pulling away but also being too afraid to go through with it. Ever the ongoing push and pull of their sempiternal battle of wills.
The little ones decided that they were done now remaining bystanders to this affair. Within moments the pair was surrounded, so many monkeys crowding around from all sides. All of them clamoring and crying their own distraught sentiments over all they had listened to. Their paws tugging at their king’s cape, pant legs, sleeves, wrap and tail wherever they could reach. All of them pleading with their king not to leave.
Macaque shrunk into his scarf over having forgotten they had an audience this whole time.
As had Wukong, from the looks of it.
Several little ones managed to climb on and cling to their king from higher up. A cub, barely a yearling, chirped pitifully from their spot on Wukong’s chest and hugging his neck.
That brilliant golden gaze misted as his breath hitched, shoulders shaking as the dam finally gave.
Wukong bowed his head deep as he fell to his knees again and wept. Sobbing loud and hard against Macaque, all the troops coming in together to join in a pile around them.
Macaque hugged Wukong tight, finding his eyes misting as well. He let the tears fall freely, letting his tears get caught up in the golden mane, as his face was practically pressed into Wukong’s hair.
“I’m here, Shí Hóu. I’m not leaving. I’m here…”
Wukong’s sobs echoed across the mountain.
For what felt like hours, Macaque held him close as he cried into his chest. The troops surrounding them in a monkey pile group hug.
Throughout, Macaque mumbled reassurances as he clung to Wukong back. Only stopping after a point when he realized he was just repeating himself on loop. The two sat the rest of the time in silence, aside from sounds of all of them crying. Himself included in addition to the troops. Eventually, the little ones started to quiet down. A bit longer after that, Macaque finally broke the silence.
“I’m sorry. Sorry I didn’t tell you fully how I felt. Sorry I let the bitterness and anger get to me. I’m sorry I hurt you. And that I kept hurting you. So much. I just kept doing it, over and over and over and I’m so sorry. I’m trying to stop, to actually help you now going forward, but I know it’ll never be able to make up for all the shit I pulled. I still want to try and make up for it though. To try and work this out.”
“Can we?” Wukong shook in his arms, tears still staining his ru. “Of course I want to, but with my track record…? I don’t want to waste your time, any more of your life than I have putting you through more pain and heartbreak. What if that’s all I’m capable of in a relationship? What then, Macaque? What if we can’t forgive each other after all? Maybe we should…”
Macaque took a breath, remembering what he’d accidentally heard. How he’d feared the worst. That was why he tried not to listen to the future. Because he always heard the worst and no matter what he did it never seemed to be enough.
No.
He wouldn’t let that happen this time. This was too important. Wukong was too important.
“I promise to stand by you as we try to work this out. I will never give up on it. On us. And I also promise I’ll get to the bottom of how I died if you weren’t the one who hit me. Or maybe no one even hit me? I’m gonna get to the bottom of the memory issues too. I mean, if I got the mountain timing, how much else am I misremembering, or just forgetting? How much of my memories are even real? What even can I trust….?”
“I swear I didn’t, Macaque. I would have stormed Dìyù again that instant if I knew you died because of me! And…” Wukong’s breath caught in his throat. “Both times.”
He blinked.
“Both? What do you mean?” Was there something else he was forgetting?
“In the Scroll,” Wukong clarified. “Both times I was there, I was haunted by my worst mistakes. I saw all of our worst moments, but I never saw you die! You think the Scroll wouldn’t torture me with that more than anything else? …Did you see it when you found me both times?”
The warrior frowned.
“Even if you weren’t the one who killed me, I still ended up in Dìyù. I still died. That’s weird the curse wouldn’t show that to you,” he hummed, rubbing his chin.
“And, wait, are you asking if I saw the curse or my death while trying to find you?”
“Your death. Did you see the memory show up at all?”
“It didn’t show me that memory. But it did question my assumption that you’d been the one to deliver the final blow,” Macaque admitted.
Wukong’s brow furrowed. “Wait, you were faced with your worst mistakes and memories and you didn’t see the memory of your death? Or just when you saw me surrounded by my memories?”
“I mean…most of the things I regret are things I did. While alive. Maybe it was planning on showing that but didn’t get around to it before I moved on?” Macaque suggested. That excuse sounded weak to even his own ears though. Why hadn’t the ink used that in the arsenal of memories it had tortured him with.
“Macaque, the curse wouldn’t just forget or not take advantage of a memory like that. Its purpose is torture and punishment. Our Fight was a worst memory for both of us. One of my top three worst mistakes of my life! Why would it not torment me over being at fault for your death if I was? Why would it stop at us just falling out sometime after our mountain argument?”
“I….” he hesitated.
Wukong had a point. Even if the scroll hadn’t been able to get around to torturing him with that memory, it had had more than enough time to do so to Wukong. It didn’t make sense.
Had he even really died? Was that another inaccurate memory?
No, no, he knows he died. He’d never forget, nevermind fake, his own heartbeat being snuffed out. Otherwise, he would’ve had no reason to make the deal with the Lady Bone Demon.
He never would’ve done that otherwise.
“I…I don’t know,” he answered honestly, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and concern.
“…Then we figure it out.”
Macaque looked up in wonder, yet tried not to sound too hopeful as he hesitated to ask, “….Together?”
“Oh, like hell I’m letting you go off on your own to do it,” Wukong scoffed, arms crossed and a wry smirk quirking at the corner of his mouth. “We’ve seen what happens leaving you to your own devices with these things! We’re not gonna be making that mistake again.”
“When I’m left to my own devices?” Macaque echoed dryly, raising an eyebrow.
“I think the pot may be calling the kettle black here,” He teased, his tail gently poking Wukong in the chest.
The king chuckled, twining his tail in Macaque’s. “That’s why we need both to keep each other in check. That and once I get my hands on the fucker who murdered you…他们我小心点 Tā men gěi wú xiǎoxīn diǎn.”
Seeing Wukong with that look in his eye…but for him this time. Not against him. Even after everything he’d done, and he somehow still got that privilege?
His tail gently squeezed Wukong’s in return.
“…I’m sorry. For ever thinking you would…that you did….”
Macaque let out a reluctant sigh. So many what ifs. So many blunders. And all things that could’ve been solved by just a little bit of talking.
“I shouldn’t have assumed.”
Wukong met his gaze, Macaque getting lost in the gold as he always did. A gentle breeze fluttered through both headdress feathers and his effortlessly perfect mane.
The shadow could tell there were many words left to be said. Many Wukong seemed to struggle to say. Instead, giving way to more tears and sniffles. Tears forming in those perfect pools of gold and his heart broke yet again.
“Oh, Shí Hóu…” he mumbled, gently pulling Wukong into another hug.
Macaque held him tight as Wukong broke again. The repeated apologies staining his chest and scarf alongside the tears. The troops huddled again against them, chittering and purring for comfort.
The silence persisted like that for a while. Wukong mumbling something into his shoulder being what ultimately broke it.
“Hmm? What did you say?” Macaque asked, gently guiding Wukong’s face out of his shoulder so he could look at him. His thumb gently wiped away the tears left on the Great Sage’s face that hadn’t already been absorbed by his scarf or ru.
“Are you… Are you sure? About… all of this?” Wukong asked, nestling into the touch with cautious eyes.
“Yes,” Macaque answered simply. That was all there was to it. He wasn’t giving up on Wukong, wasn’t giving up on them. Not this time.
“But you hate cleaning up my messes.”
Macaque gently flicked Wukong’s forehead.
“It’s both our mess to clean up. And it’s worth it,” he countered.
“You mean it?” the sage pleaded.
“Yeah.”
“And all the apologies? All of them? Genuinely, not sarcastically? 100%?” Wukong asked seriously.
Macaque half-glared at him.
Part of him wanted to be offended, but considering his track record, it was a valid question.
“Yeah. Never gonna let that go, are you?”
The king beamed brightly at him. “Never. We gotta commemorate this momentous occasion. Macaque’s first apology in… well, ever.”
…Alright, now he’s offended.
“Okay, I have apologized before,” the six-eared simian defended himself.
Wukong gave him a wry look. “Name one that wasn’t within the last three weeks.”
Macaque opened his mouth, finger raised… only…
…
…Uh.
His brow furrowed more and more trying to think. Going further back through his memory banks, he was struggling to think of any actual instances of him apologizing.
Okay, come on. You’ve HAD to have–
Macaque’s uppermost set of ears glowed as he searched every instance in the past he could think of prior to this soul-searching endeavor. Only to come up on absent remorse or at best, vaguely apologetic exchanges nevertheless devoid of any actual apology. Exactly the sort of thing he hated the Camel Ridge Trio for doing.
Wukong was missing a few himself that he’s since made up for, but to Macaque’s surprise, heard more than a few apologies more from the king he swore he couldn’t recall before.
But him?
Not a single one uttered prior to recent events.
Not once could he hear his past self say the words “I’m sorry”. Not for anything.
Because you never have.
…
…Fuck you.
Whether that was directed at the ink, his shadows, himself, Macaque didn’t care. Fuck them.
“… Shut up.”
“Don’t be mad that I’m right,” Wukong grinned, far too smug in his victory. “You’re the one who never apologized until now. But I’m proud of you. You can learn.”
“Yeah, yeah. You were right, you win. Happy?”
Wukong revealed the ongoing recording of the last few minutes on his phone. “About this? Very.”
Macaque half-sighed, half-groaned.
Now you’re just being mean.
“Anything else?” the shadow grumbled dryly.
The fact that Wukong answered with anything but a ‘no’, with any level of unease and uncertainty made his veins wanna burst like geysers. Big, bloody geysers of ‘are you for REAL?!’
“But what if–?”
Before Macaque could provide his usual sassy retort, a memory of Wukong’s voice ran through his ears again that stopped him in his tracks. The one that haunted him throughout his avoidance Giving-Wukong-Enough-Space waiting period. The one that still haunted him now.
“How can I… How can I move past this? Can I? Not even just this, but everything! You said I was allowed to be angry, but do know just how many things I’m angry about? What then, Macaque? What if we can’t forgive each other after all? Maybe we should…”
Unbidden, the possibility he’d heard sprung to mind.
But that was all it was. A possibility.
One he was determined to prove wrong.
“Then we find a way. Just like you said. However we have to do it, we’re gonna find a way. I’m going to fight for this, us, for the rest of eternity if I have to if that’s what I need to do to make it work. 我爱你 Wǒ ài nǐ, both in life, death, and life again. I will never stop loving you. I can’t. And I will never stop fighting for that love. For us. Will you fight by my side?”
Wukong stared at the outstretched hand. Beckoning. Waiting. Pleading.
The handsome sage tentatively took it with his own, soft shades of scarlet peaking through his gold gaze. “Through better or worse?”
Macaque gave a firm nod. He wouldn’t give up this time.
Wukong’s laughter sang like Fúxī’s 瑤琴 yáoqín, beautiful, eclectic, and like nothing else. It was all Macaque could do not to melt into goo hearing that genuine laugh again. And for it to be paired with Wukong’s smile, ever blinding like the sun’s rays he embodied… the moon would gladly offer his other eye.
“You and your pretty words,” the sun lauded with such soft affection, sweetly planting a peck on Macaque’s cheek. “You’re such a charmer when you’re not being a dick.”
“Yeah, I kinda got the opposite impression when centuries of loyalty was treated as just friendship,” Macaque replied, his tone a light tease.
“You didn’t make it any easier being oblivious to everyone else who clearly had a crush on you. Seriously, I still can’t believe you were just that fucking oblivious to everyone in the world crushing on you. Obviously or not.”
The Great Sage’s nose crinkled at the sight of Macaque summoning out the stupid list again. Waving it away with his hand like it offended him. “And I still don’t believe you about those, either! There is no way!”
“You really never noticed?”
“I only cared about one.”
Macaque stared in wait as the words hung in the air a bit before he continued.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. I was shit at showing it. It took me ages to realize what it actually was. And it still kinda…” Wukong gestured his hand about at nothing. “If you hadn’t noticed, I’m not really… well, I’m not good at any relationships, as you know. I… how do I put this? I’ve always wanted connections, I just didn’t know what I was doing as I tried to make them. And I think how I experience them is different than how you and the others do because you guys always described this similar but adjacent feeling that never seemed to match how I would experience them. I also didn’t know how to describe it back then, so that was just loads of help to our already grand past understanding and communication skills.”
Macaque smirked.
“Don’t I know it. But, how so? The relationships feeling ‘different’ thing? …Do you think you know how to explain it now then?” Macaque asked gently. He wanted to understand where Wukong was coming from, how it felt for him.
You’ll need to if they were ever going to have a healthy relationship.
“None of the romantic or… carnal stuff really clocked for me as something I felt compelled to seek out or appealed to me the same way. It just wasn’t… there. That intense love was in the adventuring and my cultivation and winning fights, and it was there in I guess in a different flavor when I hung out around the people I cared about, but nothing like how DBK or the others described pleasure from casual conquests or talk about mates. And thought of Azure wanting… was thinking about that… with me?” Wukong shivered violently, revulsion radiating off him in droves. “Euuyghh! With anyone else you mentioned, it just feels wrong. It sounds wrong. It’s all… wrong. And if he and any of the others from the list were only around me with the hopes I’d give them that… the very thought it makes me feel sick, and hurt. Like I’m not worthwhile without that to offer them. That they’d lie like that, only ever have false pretenses seeking a bond with me, either because they know I’d say no, or they thought they’d get their way with me waiting it out. …Because that would mean I truly am worthless to everyone around me. I’d proven I can’t be a good king, or a friend, brother, disciple, mentor, hero, legend…” his voice briefly turned cold as he spat out the next two examples, “weapon, puppet, and being utterly lacking in carnal desires, there wasn’t any way I’d never be a good mate or partner from the start. I’m… I’d just be… nothing.”
Oh.
Well.
Didn’t that just break Macaque’s heart again.
It sounded ‘wrong’? Knowing those on the list thought of him like that made him disgusted? Macaque felt a sudden wave of guilt at his earlier comments. His insides twisting that he ever thought that Wukong was….
“I’m sorry. That I assumed the worst of you in those regards. I never should’ve assumed, never should’ve listened to my doubts, the rumors. I should’ve stuck to what I knew about you, I could’ve just asked you. But I didn’t. I should’ve and I’m so sorry,” Macaque apologized deeply. “What I said earlier was out of line and completely uncalled for.”
“Yeah, it was. But, thank you,” was Wukong’s soft reply. “It means a lot hearing you say that.”
Although, if that was how strongly Wukong felt about people being around him because they liked him… what did Wukong think of him? Did he find him just as disgusting?
He kissed you back. If he was disgusted with you too, he wouldn’t have done that. Calm down, you’re overthinking things.
“You do realize carnal desires aren't directly tied to romantic ones, right? Do you…even want a romantic connection? Or did I over step?” Macaque asked hesitantly.
He wanted to clear up any potential misunderstanding with that quick. If they had just been going back to that Brotherhood bond…but Wukong had kissed him back!
Ugh, this was so confusing.
Wukong shook his head. “No. I didn’t. And I don’t know how the romance angle works, either. But I do really like kissing you and when you kiss me. That’s something I only want to do when it’s with you. Does that only happen with romance?”
Macaque felt a bit of relief, though not without an undercurrent of anxiety. It was hard not to preen at the fact that Wukong only wanted to kiss him, though. Still, he forced himself to stay focused on the matter at hand. Scratching the back of his head as he tried to figure out how to answer Wukong’s question.
“Unfortunately it’s not as simple as a yes or a no. It’s heavily context dependent. The context being cultural values and personal preferences. Because some people do see kissing as just a platonic display of affection. But considering that’s not something you’d feel comfortable doing with all your friends, then I would say you probably do view it as purely a romantic thing. So for you, yes. That’s just my guesstimate though, I don’t want to tell you how you feel.”
Wukong thought it over a moment.
“I’m definitely not kissing anyone else the way I kiss you, that’s for sure,” the sage said with more confidence. “Unless it’s the troop cubs. But that’s different from our kissing. Ours is special.”
Special.
Just his.
Macaque’s tail swished happily, a purr escaping him that he quickly tried to disguise as a cough.
“That, yeah, that definitely sounds romantic,” he said with a nod. “And is that something you want?”
Wukong had never really answered his question if he actually wanted a romantic connection or not.
“I don’t know what the label for it will be, but I want to be it with you.” Wukong admitted shyly, pink dusting around his peach mask as he leaned more into Macaque’s chest.
So basically a yes. Macaque felt a wave of relief, the undercurrent of anxiety leaving for good.
“Good. We can call it whatever you want, Peaches,” Macaque replied. He held Wukong closer, head nuzzling against the sage’s neck.
Just as long as you’re mine.
His king snickered, voice teasing. “‘As long as I’m yours’, huh?”
The warrior froze.
Wukong wasn’t a mind reader. Had he said that out loud?
He hadn’t meant to say that out loud.
“I– I just meant that in our relationship, whatever you want to call it, it’s just us,” Macaque attempted to salvage his pride. His excuse sounded weak to his own ears.
He could feel Wukong’s smile. “Of course.”
“Promise you never thought of anyone else like that?”
Yeesh. That was possessive and insecure as fuck, dude. Get a grip.
Still, Wukong chuckled sweetly. Knowingly, as he trailed those sinful fingers along Macaque’s chest and up along his neck.
“It was only ever you, Macaque. You were the only one. You were the only one who was special more than a troop way, a brotherhood way, family way, friend way what have you. I’m sorry that for so long I was never able to offer a better label than ‘best friend in the whole world’, but that was the highest honor I could give a name to that didn’t feel like a lie. It wasn’t a perfect title for everything you were, are to me, but it included all the important things. And what I know I feel for you, when I look at you, was… is something I don’t get with anyone else. I never noticed anyone else like that, nor did I ever consider another in any way either. I never really tried, but… I didn’t want to. They wouldn’t be you, Liù'Ěr.”
His cheeks flushed fushia at the lavish praise.
“And you call me the charmer,” Macaque teased, giving Wukong a kiss on the cheek.
“I am good at things, too, you know.” Wukong playfully sassed him back with a purr. Continuing to tease with those hands and fingers through his raven fur, booping his nose.
Macaque shivered. Shivered like the adolescent youngling he’d been so many centuries ago. Like the virgin he still was.
Damn him.
Wukong probably didn’t even realize what that sounded like. Especially considering how he’d just explained he didn’t have those kinds of desires.
“You really should think through what you say before just saying stuff like that,” he grumbled, giving Wukong a gentle nip on the neck in retaliation.
The king couldn’t help but laugh. “We were saying this stuff to each other for centuries. You were Plums, I was your Peaches and your Gem, then I gave you the extra titles to match me when I got more of mine. Y’know, that I only ever did with you… how you got the idea you weren’t so, so special is beyond me.”
“Yeah, well back then you were super friendly with anyone you weren’t trying to kill,” Macaque grumbled in an attempt at a defense.
The king laughed some more, continuing the rounds of flirty affection. If that’s how the rest of the day panned out, Macaque certainly wouldn’t complain.
He could get used to it. Hell, he’s waited centuries for–
“Wait a minute!” Wukong said suddenly, as if remembering something important. Voice dipping lower in volume after seeing Macaque wince, though the conspiratorial look didn’t do the warrior’s nerves any favors on if he should be worried.
“Were… Were you jealous?”
Macaque wasn’t sure if he should feel indignant or embarrassed.
“W-Why’re you asking about that right now?” Macaque huffed, opting for deflection. His rapidly reddening cheeks probably weren’t helping with that though.
Wukong’s eyes went impossibly wide as his grin split across his face. “You were! You were– Oh my gods, you were jealous! All this time?!”
Then the cheeky bastard had the nerve to start cackling.
“天呀 Tiān ya, so much makes sense, now! Like, sooooooo much stuff in the past! WOW!”
Yeah, no shit.
Just to salt the wound, the monkey pile and the shadows laughed at him, too.
Macaque’s entire face was scarlet by this point. The idiot really had never noticed. And he was clearly never going to let him live it down. So Macaque resorted to his only option left at this point. Silencing the sage with more kisses.
Wukong shriek-giggled between each one, playfully trying to push the other off as he fought for air.
“Sorry, sorry,” he apologized, despite sounding none-too apologetic in the slightest. “It’s just. You were so jealous! Of everybody! And you didn’t even HAVE to be! Ha ha HA! No WONDER you were grumpy so much of the time!”
The shadow let out an indignant huff, burying his face in Wukong’s chest.
“I definitely had a need too. You were just too oblivious to notice the constant admirers you had,” he grumped, voice muffled against the old chest plate. “Speaking of which….you didn’t really seem to protest Erlang’s presence on the list as much as the others.”
“This again? Really, Mac? Erlang can be cool, but one, burning my mountain is a huge turn off even if we did manage to become friends later on, and two, he’s not you.” The sage rolled his eyes, hugging him with a coo. “N’aaaaaw. Jealous, jealous, jealous Plums. You really didn’t need to be at all. Y’know, if you just told me how you felt, you’d’ve known a lot sooner that I liked you back. And only you.”
Macaque let out a grumble, nuzzling his face more into Wukong’s chest. He had valid reasons to be jealous! Wukong was just too careless.
“And…you’re not replacing me with MK?” he asked, eyes then bugging out at that phrasing. “N-Not in that way obviously! Just…as your best friend…your go to person. In that way,” Macaque hurriedly clarified.
Asking about that immediately after he’d asked about Erlang probably wasn’t the smartest move in retrospect.
“Of course not! I mean, you’re both my best friends I guess now, but you’re the only one I want to kiss, cuddle and love as someone who isn’t just a best friend,” Wukong assured, kissing Macaque’s forehead in emphasis to his statement. “If for nothing else, to clear my conscience with having MK as my lil’ bro-cub best friend without you being made to feel lesser again. Because you aren’t. You never have been.”
“Good,” he grumbled in satisfaction, giving Wukong’s chest another nuzzle.
“Hey, I wasn’t the one who made this harder than it needed to be here.”
Macaque inhaled deeply, then exhaled a long, long sigh. “Is this how it’s gonna be? Kisses, cuddles, and you roasting me at every opportunity?”
“Weeeeeell, we’re also gonna be communicating actually and healing from the embarrassing amount of unresolved trauma we still have going on. And finding the answers to things like who actually killed you and who recast the curse on the Scroll of Memory between the end of the Azure crisis and Peng kidnapping me with it,” Wukong shrugged. “Don’t give me that look. Like you weren’t also making a career off of picking on me all these years yourself! I’m just finally able to play on the field with better material than ever before!”
With that, Macaque smacked a hand to his face.
The moon loved the sun. Always had and always will.
The same sun who was an absolute, frustratingly handsome dumbass.
“蠢货 Chǔn huò. You’re lucky I love you.”
Wukong’s smile merely brightened.
“My partner is his own brand of dumbass, too. I think it evens out. In fact, my 傻帽 shǎ mào not only took a couple millennia to learn how to apologize, but thought for centuries apparently that I liked anyone else back the way I did him! People like Azure! Or Erlang! He’s so silly! Like, how stoo-pid do you have to–?”
Macaque smothered his smug idiot partner with another kiss.
The ink had asked him if he could pick up the pieces.
Macaque was confident in his answer now.
Yeah. You can.
It wouldn’t be an insta-fix, his and Wukong’s problems. It would take effort, and it would take work.
But Macaque cared about putting in the work. Doing all it would require to get there. Healing was worth it. Wukong was worth it. Their relationship, their happiness was worth it all.
They’d figure it out together.
There were a lot of broken, fractured pieces between them, but with the want and the will? They’d come together again. A pretty new mosaic.
To get the happy ending they always wanted.
Where the peach and the plum blossoms could flower together and forever always.
完结
Wánjié
Fin