Chapter Text
this class can fit so much trauma (6:38am)
tentacool: Something is burning
tentacool: It is not coming from Bakugou’s room
tentacool: Who is burning
pokeball: That feels pointed
tentacool: It is
sugarbaby: If one of you ruined the oven i will cry
sugarbaby: I had plans for that oven after class
ispy: i hate to be the one to tell you this but
ispy: not anymore you don’t
ispy: Class Rep tried to make breakfast
ClassPrep: I was simply trying to make rice! I don’t know what happened!
ispy: well step one is to not put the rice maker on the stovetop
EdgarAllanCrow: I do not care as long as I may still acquire my caffeinated sustenance.
ispy: i have bad news for you about the coffeemaker, tokoyami
EdgarAllanCrow: Pain and Suffering
ispy: :/
ispy: wait don’t you drink apple juice in the mornings
EdgarAllanCrow: How did you
EdgarAllanCrow: i drink black coffee, the same color as the darkness within us all.
tentacool: He drinks apple juice
tentacool: From a thermos
EdgarAllanCrow: I am currently taking applications for a new best friend.
ispy: brutal
ClassPrep: Does anyone know why the fire alarm isn’t going off?
ClassPrep: Not that anyone needs to be concerned! The incident was swiftly dealt with, and there is no need for evacuation!
ispy: translation: he used the fire extinguisher and now half the kitchen is covered in foam
ispy: including iida himself
ispy: and me
ispy: this was my last clean uniform
ispy: at least you can see where my head is, i guess
pokeball: I dismantled the fire alarm last weekend.
sugarbaby: Damn it guys, now no one gets cupcakes
sugarbaby: Wait todoroki why
pokeball: I dismantled it.
tentacool: That’s… that’s not an answer
ClassPrep: If someone could please inform Aizawa-sensei of this minor incident, that would be fantastic!
ispy: i think iida is about to have a crisis
ClassPrep: I AM NOT
ClassPrep: THESE ARE NOT TEARS! I JUST GOT WATER IN MY EYES!
ispy: yeah ok so thats bullshit and im actually concerned
ispy: where is the dekusquad,,, @pokeball where are your handlers
tentacool: I haven’t heard midoriya get back from his run yet
pokeball: @insomnya
pokeball: @insomnya
pokeball: @insomnya
momther: Oh dear
momther: I will be there in a moment, hagakure
momther: Tsu is in the bath, and Ochako is likely still asleep.
pokeball: @insomnya
pokeball: @insomnya
pokeball: @insomnya
insomnya: i am awakened. why am i awakened.
insomnya: o shit
ClassPrep: Everything is alright! Please do not be alarmed, Hitoshi-kun!
insomnya: omw one sec
insomnya: no offense iida but i do not believe you at all lol
Hagakure > Shinsou (6:45am)
floating scrunchie: so since ur coming down here u should know that Rep is definitely having an anxiety attack
floating scrunchie: i think he’s almost calmed down now
floating scrunchie: but i think it would be good if you could make sure he gets to the showers and then his room. yaomomo and i are taking care of the mess.
kicking shins-ou: how bad was it?
kicking shins-ou: do i need to call my dad?
floating scrunchie: uh. well i don’t know? it was really quiet, i almost didn’t notice.
floating scrunchie: i think you should maybe try to convince him not to go to class today though?
kicking shins-ou: i’ll try
kicking shins-ou: thx for looking out for him, im sure he’ll tell you the same later
floating scrunchie: ofc!! happy to help!!
Asui Tsuyu > Iida Tenya (12:04pm)
Tsuyu!: Tenya
Tsuyu!: Are you awake?
Tenchan: No.
Tsuyu!: Ok
Tsuyu!: I have lunch for you kero
Tsuyu!: I can leave it by your door
Tenchan: It’s unlocked.
Tsuyu!: Can I come in?
Tenchan: Yes.
this class can fit so much trauma (5:10pm)
electric rat: guys can i be real a second
a nice boulder: (for just a millisecond)
pinky dinky doo: (Let down my guard n tell the people how I feel a second)
birdplaneuravity: Boooooo tomato tomato
birdplaneuravity: I thought we banned hamilton in chat
a nice boulder: sorry idk what came over me
NotAppleCertified: We found Kiri’s sleeper agent activation phrase ig lol
pinky dinky doo: I refuse to apologize
electric rat: ANYWAY
electric rat: can i be honest
a nice boulder: this is a safe space
NotAppleCertified: Lol no it isnt but be honest anyway
pinky dinky doo: Omg Kyoka ur so mean
NotAppleCertifed: Is that news or…
electric rat: can i just say my thing
a nice boulder: ye sorry go ahead!!
electric rat: ook tbh dont judge me but lowkey i think the moon landing might have been faked
(5:24pm) electric rat: wow the silence is defeaning
electric rat: dont all speak at once guys
birdplaneuravity: Bitch what thefuc k
electric rat: i mean
electric rat: idk america seems like it had a pretty good reason to just fake it. like weren’t they desperate to not lose the space race or whatever
electric rat: plus who could even prove it. you’d have to go to the moon
birdplaneuravity: i
NotAppleCertified: I think you broke Ochako…
pinky dinky doo: Kami babe
pinky dinky doo: Respectfully
pinky dinky doo: What the Fuck
pinky dinky doo: Babe they had already lost the space race
electric rat: like i said. desperate.
birdplaneuravity: Kaminari
birdplaneuravity: Pls
birdplaneuravity: U can see rover tracks with a telescope.
electric rat: hmmm
birdplaneuravity: Also
birdplaneuravity: WE HAVE BEEN BACK
birdplaneuravity: LIKE SEVERAL TIMES
birdplaneuravity: Not just ‘we’ like Humans either, we like Literally Japan
birdplaneuravity: Kami pls this conspiracy should have died like 200 years ago wE HAvE BEEN TO THE MOON
electric rat: you make a compelling argument
birdplaneuravity: A compelling arguement…
birdplaneuravity: THREE CENTURIES OF SCIENTIFIC ADVANCEMENT
pinky dinky doo: Should we do something
NotAppleCertified: He made this bed
birdplaneuravity: WE HAVE EXPLORED PARTS OF THE GALAXY THE FIRST ASTRONMERS COULDNT HAVE EVEN IMAGINED
NotAppleCertified: He can lay in it
electricrat: i mean it was just a theory
birdplaneuravity: Where are you Kaminari
birdplaneuravity: I’m fixing this
electricrat: uh
high on heroines (6:47pm)
ghostbusters: Hey quick question
pass the aux: Here we go again
ghostbusters: Rude. Anyway.
ghostbusters: how many of you guys are familiar with Life and Death: Twilight Reimagined, the genderbent version of Twilight that Stephanie Meyer wrote for the ten year anniversary of the og book published in 2015?
ellen ripley: yk i am!!
lesbian jesus: Not even remotely
the braincell: i’ve heard of it
pass the aux: Not at all but I have a feeling I’m about to be
kirby: Thats a thing??
ghostbusters: Great ok well
ghostbusters: First of all dont read it i promise it isn’t worth it
ghostbusters: But second of all the whole thing is that SMeyer was like “ohh everyone always called Bella Swan a damsel in distress but it actually has nothing to do with her gender and if i switched the gender Nothing Would Change”
ghostbusters: But The Gag Is that it literally proves that everything changes change if Bella is a man and Edward is a woman
ellen ripley: OMG RIGHT i was thinking abt that the other day like girl literally proved herself wrong in the process of writing her own damn book lol
pass the aux: The Mormon vampire romance author is kinda sexist?
pass the aux: Fork found in kitchen lol
ghostbusters: You arent wrong 💀
kirby: Wait tell me more
ghostbusters: GLADLY
ghostbusters: Ok there’s a lot of examples but the biggest one is that the biggest conflict in the entire series (beyond the love triangle and the various battles and the baby) is that Bella wants to be a vampire soooo fucking bad and Edwards is like nooooo i cant do that we have to be married first whatever
ellen ripley: yes yes the vampirism as a metaphor for virginity, we’re all familiar
lesbian jesus: I beg your pardon?
ellen ripley: ok maybe not All
ghostbusters: The author is supes Mormon just go w it
lesbian jesus: Okay???
ghostbusters: ANYWAY
ghostbusters: so (for those who weren’t aware (yaomomo)) at the end of the first book Bella gets bitten by one of the Bad Vampires and almost dies but then Edward sucks the venom out of her like a snake bite and she stays human for three more books
ellen ripley: against her will btw like bella wanted to be vampy soooo bad lol
the braincell: i feel obligated to say that you shouldn’t actually suck venom out of a bite btw
pass the aux: Don’t like cut it either. Both of those things can make it worse
pass the aux: Just like… wash it and apply a cold compress and go to the hospital
kirby: Huh good 2 know
ghostbusters: OKAY COOL ANYWAY in the genderswapped version, Beau (boy Bella) gets to the final fight like 5 minutes sooner than girl Bella did so Edythe (girl Edward) doesn’t get there in time to save him, so his options are to either die or become a vampire and they LET HIM CHOOSE
ghostbusters: SO HE GETS TO CHOOSE BEING A VAMPIRE
kirby: Wait wtf
ghostbusters: And i cannotttt stop thinking about what that says about SMeyer’s feelings about bodily autonomy for men vs women.
pass the aux: Its the Mormonism
kirby: I feel like we’ve said Mormon too many times
the braincell: probably
ellen ripley: wait wait wait its worse than thattt
ellen ripley: bc bella is all “oh i want to be a vampire so bad wdym i should go to college and get married first :( kill me nowwww” when she’s only like 16
ellen ripley: but beaufort is all “:/ i wish i got to go to college and get married first”
kirby: Stop. BEAUFORT
lesbian jesus: Is that the male equivalent of Isabella?
the braincell: i don’t think so kero
ellen ripley: some of the genderswap names are so tragic. jasper’s name is Jessamine
kirby: Omg
pass the aux: Whats the hot dad’s girl name
ghostbusters: Thats the worst part
ghostbusters: She doesn’t even genderswap bella’s parents. only characters in the whole book she leaves As Is
lesbian jesus: I feel like I need to unpack that but I don’t know enough about Twilight to do so.
ellen ripley: i think thats probs fine tbh
ghostbusters: So yeah thats what i was thinking abt when i shouldve been doing my homework for Cementoss
ghostbusters: Do we think if I just did my paper about the gender politics of Twilight Reimagined, he’d accept it?
the braincell: instead of the assigned reading?
ghostbusters: Yeah lol I think Ive read like 2 pages
pass the aux: Girl that paper is due Tomorrow
ghostbusters: I AM AWARE
lesbian jesus: Cementoss, no, probably not. However, you can probably get EC in English from Present Mic-sensei.
lesbian jesus: However, if you finish the reading for tonight by 9pm, I’ll help you outline your paper. At least then you’ll have something to turn in tomorrow.
ghostbusters: Yaomomo did you know I’m in love with you
lesbian jesus: ❤️
pass the aux: lol
Asui Tsuyu > Jirou Kyoka (7:56pm)
frogger: kero
Kyo: I am not jealous shut up
frogger: i didn’t even say anything lmaooo
Kyo: SHUT
Kirishima Eijirou > Ashido Mina (8:12pm)
RED RIOT 👹: can i say something that’s going to sound SUPER concerning but is actually a therapy win
acid bitch 🩷🫠👽🎉: ofc babes
RED RIOT 👹: i was lying facedown in bed bc my brain wont shut up. as one does.
acid bitch: as one does!
RED RIOT 👹: and i had the automatic thought of like. “my room is so messy. i deserve to be choked out for it.”
acid bitch: hard disagree
RED RIOT 👹: that’s the win dude! i also immediately thought “that’s just stupid man, no i don’t” and then i got up and put my dirty clothes in my hamper
acid bitch: wait! ei! that’s so good!!
RED RIOT 👹: yeah man ive never done that before
RED RIOT 👹: normally im just like “yeah i so do” and next thing i know i’m relapsing but THIS TIME I SAID NO FUCK THAT!!!
RED RIOT 👹: call that shit THERAPY GAINZZZZ
acid bitch: FUCK YEAH THERAPY GAINZZZ
acid bitch: i’m so proud of you ei!!!!
acid bitch: i’m bringing you ice cream we gotta celebrate
RED RIOT: aw you dont have to do that meens
RED RIOT: ik you said you were tired at dinner
acid bitch: i’m not too tired for this !!
acid bitch: open ur door
RED RIOT: it’s unlocked?
acid bitch: … whoops !
no crimes here (9:49pm)
orange juice addiction: Why did no one wake me up for dinner?
mumblemumble: Honestly we tried but you were sleeping pretty hard so Shouto and I just let you sleep
daddyissues: You threw a pillow at us when we tried.
mumblemumble: You also did that
orange juice addiction: Ah. My apologies.
mumblemumble: No worries!! It was kinda funny
daddyissues: You’re cute when you’re sleeping.
orange juice addiction: Oh
orange juice addiction: I
orange juice addiction: Thank you, Shouto
gravitea: LOL I think u broke him again
orange juice addiction: No I’m just tired
ribbitch: kero
ribbitch: ok tenchan
orange juice addiction: IS THERE ANY FOOD LEFT
orange juice addiction: I mean
orange juice addiction: Is there any food left (said at normal volume)
gravitea: aw sleepy tenya comes w stage directions thats so cute
orange juice addiction: I
mumblemumble: I don’t know if there are any leftovers tbh but Kacchan said he’d make you something if you want!
orange juice addiction: Oh, I don’t want to bother him.
orange juice addiction: I’m sure he’s asleep by now, anyway.
gravitea: Actually
gravitea: He got roped into helping Kami and Sero with homework after dinner, they’re in the common room
orange juice addiction: I don’t want to interrupt
slebby: oh my fucking god
this class can fit so much trauma (10:00pm)
insomnya: @fuckyou can you please tell tenya that you don’t mind cooking for him before he starves bc he doesn’t want to be an inconvenience or whatever
ClassPrep: I’m sure I have snacks in my dorm! I will not starve!
fuckyou: God why is everyone in this class so pathetic
fuckyou: Get your dumbass down here. I’m making you food.
fuck you: I was already going to make something for Dumb and Dumber so they stop complaining
swingline: Hey
electric rat: wait
electric rat: which one is which
fuckyou: Take a wild guess
electric rat: hey
swingline: Did you just assume you were Dumber
electric rat: yeah 😭
swingline: So you insulted yourself
swingline: Why did you do the work for him
electric rat: why do you all hate me
swingline: I could never
fuckyou: I AM ACTIVELY MAKING YOU FOOD
fuckyou: ALSO @ClassPrep GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE OPTIMUS PRIME OR FORFEIT DINNER
ClassPrep: Understood. On my way.
swingline: Katsu, man, normally your nicknames are top notch but Optimus Prime is a semitruck
swingline: Those aren’t very fast
swingline: Blurr is the fastest Transformer
fuckyou: Do I look like I care?
swingline: Not even a little bit!
insomnya: hey kats make some for me too
fuckyou: No. Make your own damn food
insomnya: I just got off an evening patrol route and didn’t eat beforehand
electric rat: and aizawa still let you go????
insomnya: what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him
fuckyou: Jesus Fucking Christ
fuckyou: Fine
fuckyou: BUT NO ONE ELSE
pinky dinky doo: 🥺
fuckyou: FINE