Chapter Text
KDJ and YJH's relationship are somewhat special. They were companions, yes. But more than that, they're also friends with benefits. It was agreed on because of course, the two are only comfortable with each other, specially YJH.
Though KDJ is still quite curious on why YJH didn't chose LSH instead, he decided not to pry and use his skill to find out why. After some months of being friends with benefits, YJH started acting weird. But then again, KDJ chose not to pry.
Until one night, the whole KDC company decided to have a barbecue party and drink a lot of alcohols. LJH decided to drink with SYS and LGY even though they're minors making the three knock out at early night.
After some hours of drinking, JHW and LHS decided to stop drinking and took care of the kids because they're too drunk and close to passing out. While YSA decided to stop drinking and got HSY on her side, took her to their tents to sleep, leaving KDJ and YJH alone in front of the bonfire. YJH drank quite a lot while KDJ hasn't so he got up and stopped YJH from drinking, took the fire out and held YJH's arms to take him in his tent.
That's where it started. YJH was the one who initiated the make out and eventually leading to sex. What KDJ didn't expected was...
YJH moaning LSH's name.
That night, he felt something died inside him. He just let YJH fuck him and when he got tired and stopped, KDJ immediately cleaned himself and went back to his own tent.
He stared at the ceiling of his tent. He doesn't understand. YJH and him isn't in a relationship so why does he feel that way?
Uriel, who wasn't busy and managed to watch it, was shaking in anger.
[The constellation 'Demon-like Judge of Fire' is tearing up from anger.]
Uriel did want YJH and KDJ together because they fit each other. But after seeing and hearing what YJH did and said, she now wants to kill YJH.
"Uriel, it's alright." is what KDJ said. But deep inside him, he just wants to cry and wish that this night shouldn't have existed.
The next morning, KDJ acted normally. Normally, but for the whole company, they sense the awkwardness between KDJ and YJH. KDJ doesn't annoy nor talk to YJH. So they just decided to go along with it.
HSY, who can't take the awkwardness decided to talk to YJH instead of KDJ—which is dumb of her—because YJH is the one who's close to her.
JHW who was near them and heard it, almost snapped her head to look at HSY and widen her eyes to signal her to stop. But stopped herself instead. "I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know? Aren't you weirded out that Kim Dokja isn't talking to you? Nor annoy you?" HSY's eyebrow was raised. The two looked at KDJ who's playing with the kids, annoying LJH too.
"I think I had sex with him last night. Though he isn't there when I woke up."
"TMI TMI!! What the fuck Yoo Joonghyuk." HSY sighed. "Anyways, if you two really had sex, why is it weird that he isn't with you when you woke up?"
"He's usually there in the morning. But earlier, he isn't. But I don't remember anything since I was drunk." YJH answered.
"You must've done something wrong last night. I'll talk to Dokja later. I'm gonna help Seolhwa first."
"...Seolhwa?"
YJH suddenly had a short flashback of him last night saying LSH's name.
But he doesn't remember when.
"Kim Dokja. What happened?" HSY asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Don't 'what do you mean?' me. We both know what does that mean."
KDJ sighed. "It's nothing Han Sooyoung."
[The constellation 'Demon-like Judge of Fire' is saying that Kim Dokja is lying]
'Uriel you—'
"See that?" HSY dead-panned.
"Fine."
KDJ told her everything happened and as expected of HSY, she was ready to throw hands.
"Calm down, Sooyoung-ah. I just need space from him. And probably just stop this whole thing. I'm just thinking how."
"Wait wait, you mean you'll break things with Joonghyuk? I mean, I'd also like that considering what happened but you haven't talked to Joonghyuk yet."
"Besides, I was talking to Joonghyuk earlier. He said he doesn't remember anything." HSY added.
"Sooyoung-ah, you don't need to pretend like you don't know what that means." KDJ smiled.
"Fuck this is stressing me out. Listen, talk to Joonghyuk first yeah?"
KDJ took HSY's advice. 3 days after their talk, KDJ reached out to YJH.
"Joonghyuk-ah. Can we talk?"
YJH didn't answered but just nodded. He followed KDJ as they walked a bit far from the company.
"Can we stop?" KDJ asked. It was brave of him to look at YJH's face.
But in all honesty, he was just admiring this view because he knows that after this, he probably can't look at YJH like this again.
"Stop what?"
"What were doing. Don't think of asking what because we both know you do."
He can clearly see YJH's face slightly softening.
"Is it because we're not official? If that's what you want then—"
KDJ cut him off, "Joonghyuk-ah. You don't love me. We don't have any reason to be official nor together."
"I do, I do love—"
"Joonghyuk, stop lying. You don't want me and you don't need me either. If you're worrying about the scenarios, you don't need to because I'll keep my promise. It's this things that we'll only remove."
"You should be with Lee Seolhwa in the first place."
"Kim Dokja, I don't want her. I chose you, and only you. Is it because of the novel?"
"It's not."
"Then what? Why do you keep on pushing me to Lee Seolhwa? I don't love her anymore, Dokja."
"You're probably just saying that because I'm leaving, but. You don't know how hurt am I when you kept calling me Lee Seolhwa that night. You don't know how dirty I felt when you said that."
YJH can't answer.
"Is that why you keep yourself quiet when we're doing it?"
"Because you're afraid that you'll call me Lee Seolhwa? Is that who you see me? Yoo Joonghyuk, I'm not Lee Seolhwa, I'll never be her."
"I genuinely loved you."
KDJ's tears were threatening to fall but he stopped himself from crying. His voice was slightly quivering. He didn't expected that his confession will also be his goodbye to his first love.
"How about you, Joonghyuk? Did you love as Kim Dokja or Lee Seolhwa? Or...did you even loved me?"
YJH just stared at KDJ, he doesn't know what to answer, or rather, how.
"To be honest, I don't want to hear your answer. I'm already hurt as I am. So I'm afraid that I'll get hurt again with what you'll answer so, by the time when we're both happy, I want to hear it."
"Goodbye, Joonghyuk-ah."