Chapter Text
If asked to describe himself, Tau would most immediately offer that he is meticulous with record keeping for his patients and experiments. Dates, names, processes and ingredients used - he has all of it organized. In spite of his uncanny ability to do all of this with relative ease, he does tend to task Lambda with reminding him of certain events. While it is entirely unnecessary, it helps keep the younger segment occupied and generally out of his way - for the most part.
That is why he finds his research on a masterless vision interrupted by a tug at his lab coat. Scowling, he looks down over his shoulder at the small figure next to him. "Lambda, how many times have I told you not to interrupt me like that? A simple knock at the door will suffice. Are you truly so foolish to continually ignore my warnings?"
Lambda looks up at him with a pout, cheeks puffed out as he crosses his arms. "Then you do not want your reminder?" Red eyes flash with annoyance up at him.
He sighs, setting the vision aside for now and managing to repress the urge to run a hand through his hair by adjusting his glasses. He turns fully to face the youngest segment, impatiently prompting, "Fine. What reminder do you have for me today?" Tau is already wracking his brain for something it could be, mouth tilted down in a slight frown.
Lambda's expression lights up as he laughs, pointing up at him, "You actually forgot something! Hah, I knew it wasn't just the Main and Zeta who were so forgetful."
He narrows his eyes down at the child, annoyance flashing clear across his eyes behind the thin frames he prefers in place of the mask. His anger infects the sound of his voice, "Get back on track, you imbecile."
Lambda rolls his eyes, "You are only calling yourself an imbecile when you say that, you know." When Tau tilts his head in warning, he gets a petulant huff in reply, "Okay, fine. You told me to remind you on the ten year anniversary of the Regrator's eye surgery so that you cold check out ensure everything still looks okay."
Silence grows between them, and he only interrupts it when he finally mutters a curse. Frustrated by his lack of awareness at something actually important, his hand is tangled in short wavy strands before he can stop it. He launches into a last minute plan, "I will have to talk to the Main if I am to schedule time with him so last minute. He ought to know Pantalone's schedule best of any of us, barring Omega." He shakes his head, refocusing on what actually matters rather than daring broach the thought of Omega's poorly hidden obsession with trying to understand the man from afar.
A small hand sits palm up in front of him, "Pay up. I held up my end of the bargain." Lambda looks up at him expectantly, impatiently waving his hand back and forth.
"You are as useful as you are delight to be around." Tau looks around, eventually finding something that should suffice. He presents a labeled and partially disassembled ruin core to the other segment. "There. My end of the bargain is held. Now go back to researching whatever it is you have been up to this time." He waves him off, already running through a mental checklist of things he will need.
Lambda giggles, taking his prize happily. "Thank you, Tau. And you know what I've been working on! I have the smallest ones almost ready to be deployed." The small figure spins on his heel, content to head back to his own project. As far as Tau can recall, it was something regarding observing the Aranara more closely. Why Zandik and the Regrator entertain those ideas, he cannot possibly fathom, but it does not hurt anything - even if his ideas are rudimentary and childish in comparison to the others'.
Clearing his workstation, Tau steels himself to the inevitable outburst from interrupting the Main. He closes the door to his section of the lab, locking it behind him. Rho has recently developed a terrible habit of rearranging his things, and Omega seems to believe himself to be privy to everyone else's research materials.
He stops in front of the private office, knocking twice. The telltale rasp of Zandik's voice rings out, "If you are thinking of interrupting me, think again."
Tau adjusts his glasses, running a hand through his hair only to yank it away when he realizes. He briskly states, "I need to know if the Regrator is busy today."
For the only one among them still aging, the door opens in front of him remarkably fast. "Why would you need to know that? Your last funding meeting was only a week ago." The Main scrutinizes him, one eye hidden by his monocle, the other ablaze and staring him down harshly.
"It has been ten years since I replaced his corneas. I would like to make sure that my work remains exemplary." Tau does not flinch in the face of his creator, keeping his voice steady. "Do you know if he is too busy to accommodate this on short notice?"
Wrinkles become accentuated by a slight downturn of lips, "Most likely." Zandik evaluates him again before looking off to the side. "Go to his office at six this evening anyways." A hint of something that Tau would rather not recognize as affection crosses Zandik's face for just a moment as he begins to shut the door, "And tell him I will visit tomorrow."
The door slams shut in Tau's face less than a second later. At least he got an answer with less of a hassle than expected, a fruitful one at that. With roughly four hours until he should leave, at least he can return to trying to disassemble the vision prayerfully uninterrupted.
He arrives outside of Pantalone's office at roughly 5:55 that evening. Scowling at the weight of the mask on his face, he begrudgingly greets the man's assistant. "I need to see the Regrator, and no," he cuts off Gregor before he can get a word out, "it is not related to funding, nor do I have an appointment. I am here for a wellness visit."
Shifting his weight between his feet, Gregor looks over him skeptically, hesitating. "I see." He glances at the office door before returning his full attention back to the visitor. "I… suppose that is alright per his instructions to me. Give me just a moment."
Tau sighs and leans back against the wall as he impatiently drums his fingers over his crossed arms. Gregor glances back at him once before knocking and announcing, "Sir, you have Lord Harbinger Il Dottore here, not regarding his funding." He has learned well enough by now that Zandik and Omega alone have traumatized the banker's assistant, but he has to half-heartedly commend his persistence in maintaining his role regardless of the frequent and often unpredictable visits by all seven of them.
"Alright. Just a moment." Pantalone's voice is muffled through the thick wooden door, but Tau perks up regardless. He readjusts the bag on his shoulder, stepping away from the wall and waiting no more than a foot behind the other man.
After a minute of silence, the door is opened, the Regrator donning his signature cheshire smile. "To what to I owe the pleasure of this visit?"
Looking up at him with a bored expression, Tau easily replies, "I would like to check up on the progress of a prior procedure. Merely routine."
The doorway opens wider, and he steps inside the office. Tau sets his bag down on the chaise lounge to the right, and already has the tool he will need in hand by the time Pantalone is making his way back over to his desk. He further clarifies his intentions once certain the door is shut, "I need to examine your eyes. It has been ten years since the procedure I did, and I would like to ensure that there are still no further complications since then."
With everything laid out, Tau swaps his mask with his preferred lenses instead. Panalone's voice is borderline smug when he comments,"I thought that it might have been you outside. Zandik never bothers to knock this late, and you are by far the most polite to Gregor." He takes his seat back in his office chair, leaning his head against a closed fist and observing him.
Readjusting his glasses, Tau walks over to where the other man is seated. He refuses to interact with his assertions, restating, "I need to check how your eyes are now. It has been a decade since the transplant, and I would prefer to keep my reputation for flawless work in tact."
Pantalone hums, and leans back in his chair to look up at him. "I am certain that everything is still perfectly fine. Though I am equally sure that you would insist to check regardless of anything that I say." Lithe fingers wrap around expensive frames, pulling them off to rest by their chains against his chest. Tau wishes he could ignore the fact that the shirt that Pantalone is wearing today is obscenely taut against his physique.
Snapping his gaze away, he grabs the necessary scope and steps forward. "Of course I would. This will only take a moment anyways, I understand you are far too busy for any sane man." He tilts Pantalone's head up, holding him steady with one hand while he uses the ophthalmoscope to observe with the other.
He struggles to ignore the feeling of Pantalone's gaze burning a hole into him as he works, trying his best to wrap this up quickly. "Being this occupied now only means significantly less work for me when the next policies are decided. It's an investment." His right eye appears perfect, so Tau moves to the other. "Speaking of investments. You are a fascinating product of one. Answer a question for me, won't you? Why is it that you often opt against wearing the mask?"
Tau huffs, momentarily shifting away to answer. "What reason do I have to wear it? I would much rather have my full field of vision unobscured, and it is not like I have anything to hide.” He frowns, refocusing on the task at hand rather than let himself be caught up in conversation. "I will still wear it when in Publix to maintain apearances, but it is much more of a hindrance than the others admit to."
"So you assume the others have something to hide, then?" His voice is curious now, gaze bearing directly down the scope into Tau's eyes.
Finished confirming that the man's retinas are in fact still in pristine condition, he steps away to set the scope back down. "You already know that they do. The scarring transferred when Zandik created any segment at the age of the accident or older." He leans against the desk, trying to finish his exam. "Have you had any incidents of severe dry eye or any issues with your vision?"
Pantalone smiles at him, putting his glasses back in their rightful place atop a nose that would be anatomically perfect were it not for a slight divot, evidence of a youth spent in less than friendly conditions. He lazily replies, "No, I have not. And stop trying to prematurely end our conversation. You interrupted my day without an appointment, and I would quite like to hear more about this subject."
He raises a finger just as Tau goes to speak, "and no, merely saying that it was a result of an experiment gone wrong will not suffice. I would like the details of what exactly happened." Entirely too satisfied with himself, he relaxes into his chair as if it were a throne which it is clearly meant to resemble.
He crosses his arms, eyebrows pinched together with a slight frown. "You would have better luck getting the exact details out of one of them with said scarring."
"But you are curious enough to have found the answers for me. Saves me the hassle of trying to pry them out of one of the more… introverted versions of you all. So please do share." Pantalone looks up at him with a slight raise of eyebrows and a gesture to continue, clearly not going to let him go so easily.
Tau knows that among the segments with the aforementioned scarring, it is quite the embarrassment. There is a reason that they all generally tend to avoid the subject at all costs. "I do not know what types of details you are hoping for, exactly. It's a rather boring story."
Pantalone smiles more genuinely, reaching for his cigarette case. "I have found that when you or any other version of you, say that, the opposite usually tends to be the truth." Tau narrows his eyes in response, not masking his disdain for the man's vice. He watches the flick of the ornate lighter in Pantalone's hand, intrigue sparking at the familiar pattern on it.
"How shockingly sentimental." Tau drags his eyes back up to meet Pantalone's eyes again, continuing, "As I am certain you will continue to waste my time with this until you get an answer, fine. As I understand it, there was an incident regarding some of the original's first attempts with understanding how best to dilute Archon remains as an ingredient."
He receives a moderately disinterested hum in response, Pantalone looking up at him as he brings the cigarette back to his lips. "Working with Archon Remains is an extremely delicate process. One minute slip, and lingering energy tends to react in quite a volatile manner. In the case of the Main, he was leaned in closely at the time to observe, and… there you have it." Tau gestures to finalize his story, pushing himself away from the desk to carefully pack the scope back up.
"Do you know why I asked you for that story?" Pantalone is looking away from him now, flicking the ash from the end of the cigarette.
Tau replies easily, "I assume you have long deduced that my creator will not divulge any information about himself, and, being that it is rather obvious that this issue impacts those older than myself, you thought it best to ask me."
He receives a soft chuckle in reply, "How astute. And while correct in your reasoning, you miss the broader point of my question." He turns his head quickly to face the other man. "Have I piqued your interest?" Pantalone smiles at him, "You and the others, Zandik included, all overlook that I might simply be interested in learning more about you."
His eyebrows furrow in confusion, "Why are you telling me this?" He glances over at Pantalone again, observing the way that he calmly leans back and takes another drag.
Pantalone tilts his head back, looking up at the smoke dissipating as it rises. "Nostalgia, primarily." They sit in silence for a few moments, Tau trying to wrap his mind around the point of this interaction.
He crosses his arms behind his back, positing, "So you are prematurely mourning the inevitable death of your… partner. Would that be more accurate?"
Pantalone smiles, something regretful on his features. Changing the subject, his voice takes on a more teasing tone, "You look exactly the same as he did when we first met. You have his memories and thoughts from that time as well. Would you care to know my first impression of you?" Tau tilts his head, keeping his expression carefully blank.
It is fascinating to consider. He hesitates for a moment, but defers to his curiosity in the end, as he always does, "If you feel so inclined to divulge such a thing. You do seem in a rather talkative mood for someone theoretically inconvenienced by my visit."
A chuckle meets his ears, tapering off into a sigh. Pantalone leisurely inhales the last drag of his cigarette, apparently all too happy to take up as much of Tau's time as he can get away with. He smiles as he extinguishes the bud, and only then begins to explain, "You would know better than I do the exact state that I was in when I arrived. My own memories of my arrival are rather affected by my delirious state at the time."
With the amount of hemorrhaging that had been present, it certainly makes sense. If Tau's memory serves him correctly, which it was designed to do, there was rather significant abdominal trauma. He can picture where the cuts and bruises were plastered along his body, clearly the result of a rather rough experience before and during transportation to the lab.
Tau nods for him to continue, and Pantalone's voice picks back up in the brief silence between them, "I remember bits and pieces of my first few days in the lab, most of my thoughts pertaining to how wretched the Archons must be to forsake someone in my position. After all, so many others are blessed by them for so much less, and I had been repeatedly left to the hands of the people around me." He smiles to himself, readjusting the chain on his glasses.
"One of the times that I was alert and considering this subject, my thoughts were interrupted by the sight of blue hair in my peripheral vision. A second later, the brightest red eyes that I had ever seen were peering over me." Tau remembers the state of him well enough, the transplanted memories replaying in his mind. Pantalone had been younger then, visibly different from his current state of extremely slowed aging, and he proved himself to have a remarkable tolerance for pain in spite of his internal injuries. He glances up at the man across from him now, changed in so many ways from those days.
Pantalone meets his stare, continuing on, "The light was blinding behind this figure, a perfect halo around his head. I recall thinking something along the lines of 'Is this the answer to my questions? Is this man not more of a God than any of them?'"
The corner of his mouth curls upwards at Tau's pensive expression, "You appeared as an angel to me at precisely the time I had been looking or a place to store the misguided faith of my youth. Why would I have use for something as trivial as Gods when there was a man in front of me actively working to change the world with his own two hands?"
Regarding him with a calculating gaze, Tau asks plainly, "You thought me a savior, then?" A laugh meets his ears, and Pantalone shakes his head.
"Not in the slightest. I would liken it much more to viewing you as an Angel of Death, something terrible and powerful yet… a force that captures one's attention nonetheless." He hardly gives Tau a chance to think on the subject before he leans forward to rest his head on his fist, deep violet eyes looking up at him behind long eyelashes and thin lenses, "I could also tell you what I thought of you, Tau, the first time we actually got to speak. Does your curiosity still afford you the time to stay?"
He does not reply immediately, but holds his stare. He remembers when he had been tasked with fixing the Regrator's failing vision. It was the first time that the Main had deferred to another of them to take up the mantle of his care. Every interaction before then had been as a group, and he found it fascinating that the man's demeanor truly did not change when faced with one of the segments alone, even with black nothingness swallowing his field of view. He extends a hand to the space between them in offer, "If you find this information pertinent to our working relationship, I will hear it."
Those eyes catch the light behind his glasses, and Tau finds himself drawn into the depth of color, immediately chalking it up to having worked so closely to preserve it a decade ago. "You were much the same as I expected, just as you were when we first met. Cold, direct, and unwilling to trust the work of others to measure up to your own egotistical standards."
Tau hums in assent, knowing that much to be true of himself, and Pantalone continues, "What is interesting is how much sharper your anger seems to be in this verison of you when compared to Zandik. Then again, I spent little time actually speaking to him when we met, and, furthermore, in my limited knowledge of this point in his life, why would you not be filled with vitriol?"
Pantalone stands up, slowly taking steps toward him. He only stops when only two feet of space remains between them, just enough to not set him entirely on edge. Tau finds his voice regardless, "So nothing is different between myself and the Main, then. I have never held in reservations in admitting my disdain for divinity nod others, nor have I ever withheld my own opinion of myself."
Head tilted in idle concentration, Pantalone glances across him as if performing a visual dissection of his own while ignoring Tau's comment entirely. "Zandik has explained to me some of the processes for creating his segments. What I find fascinating about it is, being that he cannot reverse the flow of time and its corruption, any information he placed into each of you would still be molded by the person he was at the time of your creation." Pantalone looks down at him, and Tau meets his eyes, unwavering still.
"So you hypothesize it possible that, in spite of years of research and experiments to perfect the process, each segment is not just an extension of who the Main was at a certain age? We would also then be creations biased by his mind at the time of our activation." Tau considers Omega and Delta, furrowing his eyebrows as potentials float through his mind. It would be hard to confirm without Zandik himself, or by the rare person such as Pantalone who knew him well at different times.
It could certainly explain Omega's fascination with the partnership itself, but Tau himself cannot affirm whether or not the original version of them was merely entering a phase of interest in human interaction. Pantalone's eyes have not left him, still burning along his artificial skin as his gaze travels over his features. Tau asks another question, "Why broach this topic now?"
"Why not?" Pantalone's voice is relaxed as he continues, "I have been pondering the subject for some time now. I know that all of you have different perspectives on how our partnerships function, what purpose it serves. It is of more interest to me to know your own thoughts, something that none of you eagerly share unless it pertains to your research."
Pieces click into place for Tau, and he follows the logic. "So this has simply been a way of better understanding what my thoughts are pertaining to you?" He huffs, slight annoyance slipping into his voice, "By offering your own perspective, you intended to see if you could manipulate me into divulging what beliefs I hold regarding yourself and our work together."
Pantalone's eyes spark behind his glasses, smile softening into something genuine. His tone is dry and sardonic when he continues, "Manipulation is such a strong word. I prefer to think of it as encouraging you to view our conversations as a place where you do not need to filter out any thoughts you would their wise consider irrelevant."
Tau shakes his head, moderately amused by his half-hearted denial. "Fine." He attempts to summarize some of his observations, "Our partnership is informed by that original meeting to some degree. The resilience you had as a test subject makes you a point of interest to me, only cemented by your stubborn refusal to follow any of the instructions I gave after replacing your corneas." His jaw tightens as he mutters, "You returned to work seemingly unbothered by any pain or lingering issues with your vision, disregarding everything I said at the time." Pantalone hums in agreement, inching closer to him.
"You clearly have an interest beyond business with the Main, and it has not escaped my notice, or any of the other segments', that he does for you as well. It puts me in an interesting position of parsing whether your earlier hypothesis was correct, and if the relationship between yourself and Zandik now affects myself or the others." Tau watches him closely as he stops a few inches away, having to slightly tilt his head up at maintaining eye contact. He pulls his arms in tighter, hands closing to fists where they are crossed over his chest.
Pantalone remains unreadable, smile perfectly in place. He asks in return, "And what is your current conclusion, Tau?"
He narrows his eyes, remaining silent.
Pantalone is more akin to a predator circling prey than anything else, closing in on his chosen target. "I have learned in years of working with Zandik that he often ignores his own feelings regarding others." With a shrug, he nonchalantly adds an afterthought, "Compartmentalization as a defense mechanism."
"Feelings have no place in research, Regrator. They serve us no purpose beyond being an initial motivator for brainstorming concepts. I would extend this to being the same for business." Tau inclines his head slightly to one side, "Would you not agree?"
Pantalone matches the gesture, looming over him as they stand in challenge to one another. Something mournful comes over Pantalone's voice as he breaks the quiet truce, "You really do look just like he did." Replacing his smile, Pantalone waves a dismissive hand as he turns back to his desk. "Time will tell which of us is correct, I am sure. Be certain to let Zandik know that I look forward to his visit."
Tau stays rooted to the spot, watching as Pantalone adjusts several objects on his desk before grabbing the lighter and another cigarette. Their eyes meet again just as he lights the end. Grabbing his things, and turning to the door, Tau replaces nearly folds his glasses in favor of his mask, hastily making his exit. He barely remembers to respond, "Until next time, Pantalone." The sound of quiet laughter replays in his mind from the time the door shuts to when he reaches the lab yet again.
Heading straight to the private space hidden towards the back, he knocks harshly at the door, intent to settle some of the questions that his visit brought up. He hears the sound of books clattering to the ground alongside muffled sounds of annoyance. Zandik pulls open the door a minute later, tired eyes meeting Tau's own. "What do you want now?"
Tau crosses his arms, frowning at the older mirror image of himself. He resists the urge to bite the inside of his cheek as he wrestles with how to begin his questions. "My earlier visit to the Regrator has.. inspired a new hypothesis. One that I would believe will be of interest to you." He sees how Zandik squints back at him, clearly impatient. Though reluctant to divulge too much where the other segments may be lurking around, he continues, "Is it possible that whatever connection you share with the Regrator could have-"
Zandik is dragging him inside before he can finish the sentence. His voice is hushed even afer the door shuts, anger simmering, "What would possess you to ask such a question in the middle of the lab? Have you somehow become an idiot?"
Smoothing out his attire with a displeased frown, Tau counters, "You rarely, if ever, permit me to enter. I saw no reason to expect otherwise." Straightening his glasses and moving his hair away from his face, he continues, "Besides, I had not even finished my query. Pantalone posited to me that perhaps the segments are not perfect captures of yourself at our 'ages'. Furthermore, he believes that something in your relationship is the reason why."
Zandik scoffs, "As if that was anything beyond his own ego speaking. Were you not able to conclude as much on your own?"
Taking a deep breath to calm his rapidly building annoyance, Tau elaborates on his reasoning, "Obviously, I suspected that first. However, I also believe he brought up an excellent point. Have you noticed the way that Delta and Omega act when he is around the lab?" He watches Zandik sink into thought, continuing, "Or how Lambda and Rho actually listen to what he asks of them when they present their funding proposals?"
Running a hand through his hair, Zandik mutters to himself, "That… it cannot make sense. I duplicated only what was necessary of my current memories so that there would be no delay in bringing each of them up to speed."
Tau narrows his eyes, interrupting his train of thought. "And you did not account for how you felt regarding a certain banker, as I am guessing that, in spite of your already close working relationship, you had yet to accept that other factors could be involved in how you felt." He stares down his creator, and the two of them fall into silent consideration as Zandik follows the logic.
With furrowed eyebrows and a hushed tone, Zandik breaks their momentary truce, "I… believe that could be a possibility."
Turning with the intent to leave, Tau sighs, shaking his head.
Zandik clears his throat, and Tau pauses. His older self's voice is hesitant and far less commanding than usual, all of his usual bravado removed for a fleeting moment, "I… While I intend to dedicate myself to perfecting the Elixir until it is no longer possible, perhaps the advantage of this variable that I mistakenly overlooked is knowing that 'I' will be able to remain at his side for longer."
Tau looks back over his shoulder thoughtfully, seeing an expression that he can hardly recognize. It is entirely foreign to catch a glimpse of the regret etched across Zandik's face, something he would surely be deactivated for if he so much as whispered it once he leaves this office. Tau replies with a passing thought of caution, "For all of our collective moral failings in the eyes of many others, you know that harming him would not cross the minds of any of us."
Beneath his breath, he tacks on a disdainful thought, "You've certainly ensured that."
Collecting himself again, he asks despite already knowing the answer, "Is this why you have been handing off your responsibilities? To stay sequestered away and work on the Elixir in the hopes that your efforts will not be in vain?" Zandik's face shifts to a much more familiar anger. At least Tau feels more confident dealing with that. He sets his jaw in return, "I know why this partnership has changed you. Better than the rest of them do."
They stare each other down, but Tau continues, "I remember what it was like to briefly experience partnership with Sohreh only to have it brutally snatched away." He steps forward, gesturing loosely with his hand, "Beyond that, I know what it was like to be freshly expelled from the only home we ever had." He moves towards his creator, unflinching as his voice turns into something sharper, "And I know what it felt like to be hand picked by the Jester, only for him to toss you aside the second you were in the lab."
Tau's face is pulled up into a scowl now, poorly bottled rage bubbling up, "Of course he would change us. It is infuriating to talk with him because he not only has the wit to follow a research proposal, but also because he uses his intelligence to trip each of us up over our own words."
Emphatically pointing at Zandik, he takes another step closer, "Everything you or I or any of the others choose to work with is rooted in logic and observation, and that is by design." He stands directly in front of his creator now, staring into a version of himself that has been allowed to outgrow his need to repress these feelings of abandonment. "You latched onto the first stable presence the second he responded favorably to funding your Elixir of Immortality. And now-" Tau exhales harshly, fingers latching in his hair despite his best efforts to avoid giving into the grounding mechanism passed down to him by the current source of his rage.
He groans in frustration, his tone growing quiet in his defeat, "And now you have cursed all of us with sorting through these feelings as well. An eternity of remaining emotionally stunted, just… entirely stuck as who you once were." He releases his hair roughly and pulls his hand back to his side in a clenched fist, ignoring the way several strands remain tangled on his fingers. Zandik, however, has his eyes glued to the icy blue laced around his glove.
Tau closes his eyes, breathing deeply to soothe himself, and he waves his hand in finality. Zandik is already looking at him when he reopens his eyes, observing him carefully, his jaw clenched in a way that betrays how he is biting the inside of his cheek. Tau can tell that neither of them know where to go from here. Apparently another forty years are still not enough to have learned how to navigate when his mistakes implode in his face.
Instead of admitting to any of this, Zandik's gaze hardens. He speaks calmly, though Tau is well aware that it is a falseness overlaid to disguise his ire, "I suggest that you find a way to handle these feelings. Either experiment to modify your settings, or accept them as they are." Tau feels the anger start to rise again, but Zandik holds up a hand as he continues, "Use this as motivation rather than see it as a halt to progress. I loathe to admit it, but," the older version of him sighs deeply. "While I refuse to simply let go, you are likely to outlive me."
He eyes Zandik skeptically, not understanding why he would willingly admit to his weaknesses, especially this one. "There was a time when I had not yet placed why I wanted so terribly to impress Feofan, why I waved each of my accomplishments in front of him so dramatically." Zandik inhales sharply, annoyance in his tone as he elaborates, "But it did mean that I was able to complete quite a lot in a short period of time. I thought at the time that his refusal to simply increase my funding in spite of this success caused the anger that I felt."
His voice grows softer, more contemplative, "Eventually, I realized that it was something far more involved, but I digress."
Leveling him with a stare, Zandik lifts his chin arrogantly in Tau's direction, "You may understand why it was him of all people, but I undersand why any semblance of reliance on another makes you so incredibly angry." Tau scowls, and Zandik turns to walk back over towards his disorganized desk, beginning to gather several papers.
The older version of him lets his voice fill with malice, "You and I are individually intellectually capable of dismantling every system that the Archons have put into place. However, you have the advantage of the plentiful resources at your fingertips that I have spent my entire life painstakingly accumulating." Zandik returns to his seat, grabbing his monocle and putting it into place as he begins to read, "Do what we both do best, Tau. Learn to work with this, too."
A hand gestures past him to the door, Zandik no longer willing to continue this line of thought. Tau turns towards the exit, relaying the message he was tasked with carrying, "He is looking forward to seeing you tomorrow."
A quiet voice follows him through the doorway, "And I him."
The door closes on the unsettling topic for the evening. However, at least now he can begin to find an avenue forward through the mess rattling around in his head.
When he at last reaches his room, his door is unlocked with Lambda is sitting at his desk, poking the masterless vision he left what feels like years ago. He tiredly questions him, "How and why are you in here?"
The smaller segment turns around, grinning, "I got bored. Besides, I wanted to know how it went with Pantalone on such short notice." He tilts his head, suddenly serious, "Why did you have to talk to the Main again when you got back?"
Tau sighs, rubbing his eyes beneath his glasses. Lambda's choice of timing on his reminder was intentional, then. "So you did wait until the last minute to remind me." He shakes his head, "I do not have the bandwidth to explain any of this to you, nor would I choose to reveal anything if I did."
"Hmph." Lambda crosses his arms, pouting at his foiled plans for evening entertainment. He jumps up from the chair a second later, walking over to peer up at him. "Are you ever going to give up on getting that vision to do anything? It has been ages since you had any sign of progress, seems like a lost cause to me."
Rolling his eyes, Tau looks down at him. Lambda has never known when to stop provoking anyone, nor does he care to try avoiding being a brat. He points out, "You are not stupid. You know that the goal is not to activate it. If I can disassemble it without shattering any of the components, I could use such information to streamline the production of delusions."
Zandik's earlier words about seeking to impress Pantalone repeat in his head, but a bored voice cuts through his thoughts, "And that means more money for our banker. Blah, blah, blah."
Lambda looks around, searching for something to occupy himself with. Tau, rapidly reaching a limit on what he can stand to deal with for the day, puts a hand on his shoulder, firmly steering him to the exit. He receives many shrill protests in response. "Hey! I haven't done anything yet! Why are you kicking me out? You're the only one who doesn't."
Tau wants nothing more than to be left alone, but purposefully upsetting Lambda only means having to sit through a lengthy discussion with everyone else - a markedly worse experience. The child hates being excluded. He weighs his options, and threatens, "Be quiet and make use of your smaller hands to attempt disassembling the vision while I sort through my research notes. I will literally throw you out of the room myself if you interrupt me again today."He shakes his head, releasing his shoulder.
Tilting his head back to look up at him in what is nearly an unnatural angle, red eyes sparkle with victory. Lambda grins maliciously, and runs back over to the workstation, shoving Tau's papers off to one side in his excitement. Tau clenches his jaw, rolling his eyes at his antics, and grabs the papers before they fly off the side, his grip creasing them. Sitting on his bed, he gets as comfortable as is possible, resigning himself to another night of reading and interruptions.