Chapter Text
The morning came and a similar routine played out from the day before, Terrance didn’t bring up the session, he didn’t want to jinx Finney not going through with it. Once Finney was showered and dressed, his dad drove him to his first session, they parked up and before Finney got out the car Terrence stopped him.
“Do you want me to stick around? I can wait in the lobby again?”
Finney proceeded to get out and turned to his dad, answering him before shutting the door.
“It’s fine just… don't go too far… please.”
Terrence nodded, he had seen a cafe nearby so decided he would wait there in case he needed to rush back to Finney.
Finney waved him off and his anxiety started to ramp up, he hadn’t felt too bad until they arrived, the interaction from yesterday playing fresh in his mind. He did the box breathing, like he had in the office and composed himself before entering. The kind lady told him to go ahead and that the doctor was expecting him, this made his stomach twist. He just had to get through this session.
He knocked gently at the door, the man’s strong voice telling him to enter. Finney slowly opened the door and slid himself into the room, closing it behind him.
“Good Morning Mr.Blake, why don't you take a seat? You like soda?”
Finney halted at the question, looking at the man.
“What?”
The doctor was crouching in front of a mini fridge in the corner of the room, he repeated his question without turning to look at him.
“Would you like a soda?”
Finney felt himself getting hot and anxious, more than he already was.
“No… thanks.”
He proceeded to sit down in the armchair he sat in yesterday. The doctor stood and made his way to his desk.
“So Mr.Blake, another sleepless night?”
Finney blinked at him, ready to go on the defensive but just nodded, there was no point in denying it.
“Did you dream about your abductor?”
Finney nodded again though more hesitant this time to answer.
“I'm not familiar with what happened to you, I assume it was big news at the time. You said it was a few years ago?”
The doctor was preparing his notepad and pen as he asked the question. Finney licked his lips, uncomfortable with the idea that he would be taking notes, he didn't want physical evidence of his memories that could be found by anyone if not kept safe.
“You're going to take notes? Who will see them?”
The doctor smirked, always so cautious this one.
“My office is locked when I am not here, my notes are always locked in my desk. No one will have access to them apart from me. Nothing you say to me goes further than this room, on that I give my word, Mr.Blake.”
He held up two fingers like he was a boy scout making a pledge. Finney's eyes widened, he gripped into the arms of the chair. It's just a coincidence, lots of people say that phrase he told himself.
“Ok.” He said through gritted teeth.
“So… when you are ready, tell me about the day you were taken.”
Finney huffed out a little laugh.
“So you just want to dive right in?”
The doctor gave him a pointed look.
“This is why you are here? I didn't think you came back just to have a social call with me.”
Finney gave him an unimpressed look and took a deep breath.
‘You can just talk about the day you were taken. He will get bored and finish our sessions before you have to talk about more, the things you don't want to talk about’ he told himself.
“I was walking home from school, it had been a pretty lousy day. My best friend had been taken the week before and hadn't been found, everyone assumed he had been taken by him.”
Finney felt a wave of emotion come up at the thought of Robin, he gripped his shirt in his hands and twisted. Stay strong and just continue.
“I got beaten up that day and I embarrassed myself in front of a girl I had liked at the time.”
The doctor tightened his grip on his pen, Finney noticed but shrugged it off that he was adjusting his grip while writing.
“I had to look after my dad that night, it was a Friday. My sister always went to stay at her friend's so I was in for a night of walking on eggshells. As I took my normal route home I saw a black van parked up, it had the words ‘ABRACADABRA’ written on the side….”
Finney paused as he gulped, his throat started to feel dry. The doctor looked up from his pad at Finney, a focused look on his face.
“Go on?”
Finney took a breath and continued.
“He came from the side and tripped, he had split the contents of his shopping on the floor. I felt bad for him and wanted to help… he asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick…”
Finney's eyes started to tear up, he tried to push it down but couldn't. The way The Grabber had smiled at him, so charming, he thought he was a stand up guy going to cheer him up after his miserable day. The doctor was watching him intensely, Finney pressed on before his tears could start flowing.
“I said yes, I wanted to see something magical to brighten up my day. I saw he had black balloons in the back of the van and asked him about them. I wondered if he was going to use them for the trick. Then he opened his van door and used the balloons as a distraction to grab me, he sprayed something in my mouth, it hurt and I tried to scream and get away but I felt woozy.”
The doctor nodded at him to continue, Finney had shed a few tears at this point. Wiping them away quickly with his sleeve.
“I tried to fight back, in the panic I cut his arm but it didn't stop him, he hauled me into the van. I never saw this face properly, I don't remember anything else.”
The doctor finished writing his notes as Finney worked to get himself under control, his cheeks were red, embarrassed he was crying. This all felt wrong, talking about this to a complete stranger.
“Why do you think he picked you?”
Finney looked at the doctor, he looked so young and vulnerable like he had been that day.
“Picked me?”
Finney pondered the question, he didn't think he had been chosen, he thought The Grabber had just seen an opportunity.
“Yes, clearly he chose you Mr.Blake. It is no coincidence he parked where he did and dropped his groceries to stop and distract you. Had you ever seen him before?”
Now that the doctor had said it. It did seem planned, that made Finney feel nauseous, had he been watching him, trailing him. Had he been watching Gwen too? They walked to school together everyday. Did he know where he lived? Finney tried to think of he had seen the black van before that day but his memory was hazy.
“I don't know, there isn't anything special about me.”
But… you… are special Finney
The doctor looked at Finney intensely, he was clearly uncomfortable at the thought of The Grabber planning to take him. Finney clearly didn't see what The Grabber had within himself.
“Perhaps he saw a young boy with no friends, not a great homelife and saw himself in you in a way. He wanted to save you, care for you in a way he wishes someone had for him.”
Finney locked eyes with the older man. He felt angry that the doctor was trying to empathize with his tormentor, trying to make him seem human. He wasn't a human to Finney, he was a personal demon sent from hell that fucked up his life and killed his friend.
“I am nothing like him. He can't have felt sorry for me after what he did to me…”
The doctor challenged Finney with his stare.
“Do you wish to breach that topic today Mr.Blake?”
Finney flinched slightly, no he did not. He already felt like he had unravelled more than he wanted to. He shook his head.
“So Mr.Blake. Do you remember what happened when you woke up?”
“I woke up but my vision was blurry, my head hurt and my limbs felt sluggish. He was speaking to me but I can't remember much of it…. I remember him sweeping my bangs out of my face, his touch was light but his fingers felt warm. It was cold down there. He left and I managed to get enough energy to look around but there wasn't anything of use down there. There was a disconnected phone on the wall which I thought was out of place.”
The doctor cleared his throat.
“A disconnected phone?”
Finney nodded. The doctor finished writing up and put his pen down.
“You've made some good progress today. I think we will stop here. How are you feeling?”
Finney looked at the doctor, glad it was over. He didn't want to talk anymore. Didn't want to carry on with sessions but he felt a slight weight off his chest. It hurt him to remember how it all started, how much fear he had felt that day. The unknown days ahead of him.
“So, shall we book your next session for tomorrow? Same time?”
The doctor looked at Finney and smiled. It made Finney uneasy but nodded. He saw himself out, his dad was waiting for him in the parking lot.
Soon night came, Finney watched little moths flap around their outside light as he took a hit from his blunt. Finney found his thoughts wandering to the doctor, he had mentioned he hadn’t heard what had happened to Finney and the other boys. It was big news and yet he claimed to have no knowledge of it so he must not be local. He wondered where he was from, what his story was. Did he have other patients like Finney? He found himself thinking about the way the doctor looked at him and the way he smiled. It made an involuntary small smile grace his lips, he caught himself immediately and pushed away all thoughts of the man. What the hell was wrong with him?
His unwanted friend had returned, standing and staring as he does every night. Finney tried to ignore it though he never took his eyes off it. It may be just in his imagination but he still didn’t trust it. He didn’t bother engaging with it tonight, the lack of sleep was really taking it out of him.
Finney arrived at his session, his dad informed him he might be late picking him up as he had to go into work. Finney felt worried, he didn’t want to stay here any longer than he had to.
“I’m really sorry Finn, I have to cover for another guy at work. I should finish at 3pm, you can either wait around or maybe get the bus home?”
Finney looked at his dad, they both knew he wouldn't do that.
“I’ll wait for you. You promise you’ll come pick me up after work?”
Terrence nodded, he felt awful to do this to Finney but he had to try and take as many shifts as he could. Finney waved goodbye as he strolled into the building, he said hello to the lady at reception and made his way to Dr.Hawke’s office. He gave a knock and was told once again to come in. The doctor had a coffee, Finney could smell the roasted beans as he entered the room. He never really liked coffee, he wasn’t a fan of the bitter taste but this smelt really good.
“Good Morning Mr.Blake. Sleep well?”
The doctor was smiling sincerely, clearly empathising and knowing Finney had not slept well. Finney made himself comfortable. He spoke to the doctor in a quiet voice.
“That smells nice….”
The doctor seemed surprised that the boy had spoken at all. He looked at his coffee and back to Finney.
“Would you like one?”
Finney thought about it, he felt wary accepting anything from him but he had taken the water he offered him at the initial session. He didn’t think the doctor wanted to do him any harm at this moment, he found it so hard to trust anyone he didn’t know but maybe this was the starting point. There was a sense of familiarity with this man that Finney found comfort in but also fear.
“Yeah… that would be nice… thanks.”
The doctor gave him a warm smile and Finney found himself blushing, he internally cringed at himself and chose to look away at the wall of masks. Dr.Hawke busied himself making a coffee for Finney, he paused when Finney asked him a question.
“Why do you have these masks?”
He didn’t look at Finney but answered him in a confident voice while he brought his coffee over to him.
“I find them fascinating, why people choose to wear them, what they represent, how they are interpreted by others.”
Finney nodded and thanked him as he took the warm cup from the other man, their fingers brushed briefly which made Finney gasp quietly. He thought about what the doctor had said, he noticed his intense glare on him again, the hand that had brushed Finney’s flexing on the desk like he had been affected by the brief contact as well. Finney decided they needed to move past whatever just happened.
“My captor wore a mask.”
Finney noticed the doctor’s gaze moved into lighter territory as he went to unlock his desk and grab his notes to continue where they left off.
“Interesting, he wasn’t wearing one the day he took you?”
Finney shook his head, he was glad the doctor seemed focused on his masked keeper rather than him.
“He wore a devil mask, I guess that’s the best way I can describe it, it had horns on the top piece.”
“Top piece?”
“Yeah, the top piece always stayed the same and he never took it off but the bottom piece would change.”
The doctor was writing down everything Finney had said, he felt satisfied that this subject seemed to distract him. He took a moment to sample the coffee, it was smooth and sweet, Finney licked his lips savouring the nice taste.
“Glad you are enjoying the coffee Mr.Blake, it’s a special blend, never liked how bitter the taste can usually be, I prefer a sweeter taste.”
Finney gave a small smile in acknowledgement.
“So what did the bottom piece of the mask look like? How many times did it change?”
“He had three different ones, one was blank, one had a big grin and one had a big frown.”
“I see, so how often would he change this bottom piece?”
“I assumed he changed it depending on his mood, he seemed to wear the grinning one when he was happy or feeling playful I guess. He wore the frowning one when he was upset, when he decided I had been….”
Finney swallowed; he couldn't bring himself to say it.
“When he wore the blank one, I didn’t know what to expect, it always put me on edge.”
The doctor looked at him after finishing his sentence.
“You are a clever boy hm? Quite the observation you made regarding the different masks although I noticed you didn’t finish your explanation on the frowning one?”
He looked back at his notes to confirm he had got that right.
Finney felt himself get hot, the room suddenly felt smaller. He finished off his coffee, enjoying the sweet taste to try and prevent him going into a panic. He took a shaky breath and placed the cup down, mumbling out the sentence he meant to finish.
“I’m sorry Mr.Blake, I didn’t hear that.”
Finney repeated himself a little louder, the look of discomfort clear on his face.
“Try again Mr.Blake, I’m struggling to hear you.”
Finney felt frustrated and shouted a little louder than he wanted to.
“WHEN HE DECIDED I HAD BEEN A NAUGHTY BOY.”
Finney looked at the doctor wanting to apologise but stopped himself, the doctor’s gaze had turned dark again like it had before, Finney felt like he was burning under the gaze. Before he could comment the doctor spoke, his gaze turning to the notepad.
“Were you often a naughty boy?”
Finney felt taken aback by the question. Unhappy, the session seemed to be turning back on him.
“No, I wasn’t. I was good, so were the other boys. We were innocent”
“Other boys?”
Finney was glad he was able to shift the subject again.
“Yeah, there were five other boys before me. Bruce, Robin, Pinball, Paperboy and Griffin.”
“You knew this from the local news I presume?”
“Yeah kind of… two of them I knew personally. One of them, Robin, was my best friend.”
Finney hadn’t told anyone about the phone apart from Gwen when he escaped. He knew the boys had been speaking to her too through her dreams, he didn't think anyone else would believe him.
“Kind of? What do you mean by this?”
“Well you probably won't believe me if I told you.”
Dr.Hawke gave him a challenging glare.
“Try me.”
“The phone down in the basement I mentioned. I…. I spoke to the boys, they helped me while I was down there, helped me to escape and also kept me sane.”
Dr.Hawke didn’t say anything for a few moments, like he was processing what Finney had said. Finney felt foolish but it was the truth, he was so grateful to the boys, he wished they were all here.
“You said there was a disconnected phone down in the basement? That’s where you spoke to the other boys? So they were alive but the phone was connected?”
Finney shook his head.
“No, they were dead. He killed them before he took me.The phone was disconnected”
Finney waited to hear what the doctor was going to say, surely he was going to determine him clinically insane.
“I see…. you could hear them? What would they say to you?”
He didn’t seem perturbed by the statement Finney made. Finney found this odd, the more time he spent with this man, the less he understood him. Finney carried on.
“They would warn me, warn me of what he may do to me. They would try to help me escape by doing things they had tried before but had run out of time to complete.”
The doctor nodded, noticing Finney’s sadness.
“You feel guilty you got out but they didn’t.”
“Yes.”
“You wished he had killed you too.”
“Yes.”
“You wonder why he didn’t after your attempts to escape.”
“Yes.”
“I suppose that will always be the mystery behind this masked terror… His reasoning never to be found out? I don't suppose the police ever did an interview with him once he was caught and you were freed?”
Finney looked down again, his stomach churning in a slight guilt and a slight pleasure.
“He’s dead, I had to kill him to escape….”
The doctor waited for Finney to look back up, he had shifted to lean back in his chair and cleared his throat.
“You killed him.... I must say I didn't think you would have it in you.”
Finney sat up and forward towards the man, as if pleading to believe his innocence.
“I… I didn't want to, I have never hurt anyone before. I never even liked to fight back against my bullies but I thought he was going to kill me, I thought this was the end and I just wanted to go home…”
The doctor nodded understanding, Finney leaned back in the chair again feeling he had been alleviated of his sin.
“So no closure for you Mr.Blake, no answer to the great mystery of your prolonged captivity.”
Finney looked at the doctor, understanding what he said.
“You don’t know why? You don’t have a theory?”
“Oh I have theories but we will never truly know.”
Finney pouted at the man.
“How come you seem to be able to understand me no problem but you can’t give an explanation for his behaviour?”
The doctor smirked at Finney.
“Well he isn’t here for me to analyse and look at, ask all the right questions. With you, I can understand you the more time we spend together.”
Finney didn’t like the insinuation they would be spending a lot more time together, this had gone on longer than Finney thought it would have.
“But…. you are still an enigma in some ways Mr.Blake. Sure, I can see the surface level trauma. But you are hiding something, a secret shame you don’t want to speak about or a time in your captivity you are stuck in mentally?”
Finney darted his eyes away, he felt so tired. He didn’t want to talk anymore.
“I think we’ll stop there today, how are you feeling?”
“I’m… tired.”
The doctor got up and went to look out of his window.
“Is your Father picking you up today? I can’t see a car parked up.”
Finney’s eyes felt heavy. He really wanted to be left alone, the office was at a nice temperature.
“He’s…. At work…. *yawns* won't be here for a couple of hours….. I'm going to wait outside for him.”
The doctor turned his attention towards Finney who had slumped down into the armchair, fighting to keep his eyes open.
“I see…. Well let me just see if Glenda has any messages for me. Why don’t you lie down on the couch Mr.Blake. I’ll be out of the room for a bit.”
Finney felt alarm bells go off in his head. Lie down on his couch? No way, he wanted to protest but another yawn escaped him. Why was he suddenly so tired? He got up sluggishly and went to head to the door.
“It’s fine Doc…. I can wait outside for my Dad…..”
He stumbled and steadied himself against the wall, his limbs felt like they were moving in slow motion.
“Mr.Blake, go sit down on the couch, I’ll get you some water.”
He felt strong hands on his shoulders as he was maneuvered to the couch. The protests died weakly in his throat as his tongue felt too heavy. He hadn’t smoked since last night, yet he felt so out of it. He was gently shoved down onto the couch, his hands feeling the soft fabric. He looked up bleary eyed at the doctor.
“Don’t touch me… I’ll scratch your face.”
The doctor just looked at him as he made his statement, a flash of something dark crossed the older man’s gaze, Finney suddenly felt scared but too paralysed to move, he was just so damn tired. The doctor left the room and Finney collapsed down on the couch, before he knew it he had fallen asleep. After 20 minutes, the other man came back into the room, opening and closing the door with practiced silence. He observed the younger male on the couch, slowly making his way towards him. He crouched down near where the boy was knocked out sleeping softly, the doctor gently moved his bangs that had dropped over his face and spoke to him softly.
“You don’t have to be scared because nothing bad is going to happen here.”
He stood up and moved away to go sit at his desk again, he continued writing notes as Finney slept on the couch.