Chapter Text
“Do you have a dom you speak to regularly?” Derek asked. “Not go to, I know you don’t have that,” he breathed in loudly when Stlles gave him a confused look, earning him another blush because the answer should have been obvious.
“There’s a couple in a forum I go to for advice every so often. They’re based in London, England...” his hands wrung together nervously.
“Tonight, you’re going to talk to them and explain what you did,” Stiles paled at that. “I know you might not be deep into the dom/sub mind-set, but this is important, Stiles. Even dabbling like this needs rules to keep you safe. You broke the rules so you need to face the consequences. And if that means being told off by some doms in London, then you face it.”
“I just,” Stiles sighed. “I just wanted to try it,” he said, slumping. “I know it was wrong and I’ve owned up to that-”
“Did you ask those doms for advice specifically about auto-erotic asphyxiation?” Derek asked, eyebrow arched and Stiles, cheeks still red, nodded his head, bottom lip caught between his teeth. “Then don’t you think you owe it to them to admit that you used knowledge they gave you to break the rules? Do you not think they may feel responsible? That if something had happened and they discovered what you did, that they’d feel it was somehow their fault for helping you?” When Stiles’ eyes widened in realisation, Derek nodded. “You might not want to go deep into dom and sub roles, and that’s completely up to you, but however deep you are, you must acknowledge what you did wrong to those who helped you. It’s the responsible thing to do and if you don’t, whatever else you may or may not do in future will be tainted by it. You might not think it, but it will always nag at you in the back of your mind.”
“How do you know so much about this?” Stiles asked, earning a small smile from Derek.
“The roles of Alpha and Dom aren’t really very different; they go hand in hand in some respects. Understanding one helps with understanding the other. And I’ve had experience in the scene.” As far as explanations went, it was vague, and Derek knew it but Stiles didn’t need details, he needed some damn sense knocked into him. “You want me to order you to talk to them?” He asked through a growl, eyes flashing red and Stiles’ eyes fluttered briefly before he bit his lip and shook his head.
“I’ll do it,” he murmured, voice small.
“Good. Do that tonight, I’ll be back tomorrow. Clear your evening.” Stiles lip went between his teeth again and Derek arched an eyebrow, knowing full well that Stiles had had plans with Scott, Isaac and Kira the next evening. He watched the teenager think it over for a long time, longer than Derek actually expected, before Stiles sighed, slumping forward.
“Alright, I’ll tell the others I can’t go out.” Derek nodded once.
“And unless you want them listening in, tell them to stay away, and make sure they actually stay away.” When Stiles didn’t speak after his head bobbed up and down, acknowledging Derek’s words, the Alpha walked towards the door, hand resting on the handle ready to open. “Stiles, you fucked up. You know you fucked up. If you don’t want this... I won’t do it, I won’t punish you for something that didn’t strictly go against any rule I set down for the pack, but if you don’t allow it, we’ll never speak of this, or what you want again.”
“I understand,” he sounded defeated, resigned to his fate which, Derek supposed, wasn’t a terrible one. I couldn’t imagine what Stiles was dreaming up in his head about the possible punishments but he knew what would happen wouldn’t be that bad. However, he also knew it would leave a lasting impression and thus, be effective.
And that’s all Derek needed.
“I’ll see you tomorrow evening. Get your Dom friends to email me confirmation that you’ve talked to them.” At Stiles’ final agreement, Derek left.
He needed space to think.
---
Derek wasn’t sure what he’d expected the next day, but two emails from .co.uk email addresses weren't on his list - at least not first thing.
Mr Hale,
A mutual friend of ours has let me in on a little secret he’d been keeping. That is, he admitted to taking information
I provided him with and using it to endanger his life for the sake of sexual gratification. I expressed, quite vocally, my
displeasure though before he even began explaining he seemed contrite and understood the error of his ways. I can only
assume this has something to do with yourself, as he requested I send this email to you confirming that he did indeed speak
to me.
He also explained that he told you everything he did. As he is not my submissive nor I his dom, I cannot take
responsibility for his punishment and subsequent ‘education’. Though as a note, I don’t think he is actually very submissive,
he doesn’t have the right mind-set. I believe he’s just interested in trying a few things out, which is fair enough. I’m here to
help people, as I’m sure you can appreciate, research and practice their scenes safely.
Our friend revealed that you agreed to work with him on his experimentation after he has received his punishment;
I appreciate this. He seems like a nice guy, smart, very knowledgeable if not a little impulsive. On the whole I believe
learning more of the rules and regulations will help him in the long run and he’s told me enough about you that I’m
comfortable in having you continue down this avenue with him.
I would ask that you let me know about him after his punishment and I’ll be satisfied. I hope everything goes well.
Give him hell ;)
Kind regards,
Master Spencer.
The other email fell along the same tone though with less prose, more attitude and barely restrained fury. Derek had no doubt that were the dom within reach, Stiles wouldn’t be just ‘contrite’...
He knew Stiles didn’t want this kind of relationship, he was just experimenting but he couldn’t quite get over the blatant disregard for his own wellbeing. With all the Supernatural bullshit they had to deal with on a day to day basis he already had his life threatening quote down for the rest of his life, why he wanted to risk it for a quick orgasm was beyond Derek, but he supposed they were all a little jaded from their day to day lives. He was glad, he supposed, that Stiles chose to come to him with this when he had; better late than never and all that.
Speaking of… Stiles contacted him early that morning, explaining that his dad was at home working so Derek told him to come over to the loft instead.
“Hey,” Stiles was stood in the open doorway of Derek’s loft, wringing his hands together nervously. His bottom lip looked darker than normal and slightly inflamed, telling Derek it had been bitten a lot recently. “Is uh... anyone else here?”
“Everyone’s under strict instructions to stay away for the day.” Stiles, rather than look appeased, looked dubious and Derek raised an eyebrow.
“They’re not exactly known for their ability or desire to follow your orders...” Derek rolled his eyes but gave him that; his pack was very laid back and rarely did anything he asked them. He knew they would if the situation was serious enough, but he supposed that was his penance for turning hormonal teenagers.
“There’s a motel two towns over if you would prefer?” he offered but Stiles scrunched his face up and shook his head. something for which Derek was glad. Familiar surroundings would be important he figured, especially as Stiles wasn’t going into anything too deeply. Disorientation was bound to happen and a familiar room or bed would help ground him if necessary. Theoretically, anyway. “If I put any more emphasis on the fact that they are not to come back here all day, they’re going to come back anyway out of curiosity,” he reasoned.
“Fine,” Stiles sighed, stepping inside and closing the door firmly behind him.
“Why do you have mountain ash on you?” Derek asked, lips twitching and Stiles perked up, grinning.
“Been practicing with Deaton for a while, remember I told everyone a few months ago?” Derek did, and said as much. “Well we’ve been practicing and I can do this,” he reached into one of the side pockets of his backpack and spun so the hand was close to the door before he pulled it out and let it swing in a low arch. Seconds later, there was a line of mountain ash in front of the door. He took a step back and pulled another pinch out, brought it to his lips and blew it at the door, which glowed briefly before settling back to its normal dullness. “Werewolves,” he pointed at the line, then at the door. “Ward to stop unwanted guests entering. More secure than a deadbolt,” he shrugged, grinning.
“Impressive,” Derek commended with a small smile. “And what if there’s an emergency and you’re unconscious?” Stiles looked giddy.
“Fail safe!” he beamed. “You’d have to prick my finger or something, get a drop of blood and throw it at the door. All the ash will move to the side of the threshold and you’re free to go through.”
“How long did you say you’d been practicing?” Derek asked and Stiles told him a few months. “Keep me updated on your progress,” he demanded, though in a calm tone, and Stiles was more than happy to agree. “Go wash up and come to the bedroom.” That said, he turned and headed towards the bedroom. “If you want to walk and forget this, I won’t bring it up again and we can go on like normal.” He heard Stiles’ breath catch, his heart rate spike in something that could be called anticipation or nervousness, maybe both, but he didn’t leave, instead doing as Derek asked. He was inside the bedroom a few minutes later, stopping short when he saw Derek sat on the end of the large bed, his boots and socks off but nothing else, still fully dressed. He saw the flush growing on Stiles’ cheeks and waited until the teenager managed to calm himself down before he opened his mouth to speak again. “You understand what this will be?” he asked.
“Punishment?” Stiles’ voice was low, almost hesitant.
“Are you asking me or telling me?”
“It’s a punishment,” Stiles repeated, voice clearer and he sounded more sure of himself the second time.
“Afterwards, after you've rested, we’ll talk about what you want to try, until then, put the possibility of a positive outcome out of your head. You aren’t supposed to enjoy punishments, you’re supposed to learn from them. There are times when positive reinforcement works, but in this case, we never really got the chance to attempt that, did we?” He watched Stiles flush again, dropping his eyes to the floor by Derek’s feet.
“What should I call you?” he asked, eyes flicking up briefly.
“What do you want to call me?” When Stiles didn’t answer immediately, he elaborated. “You wouldn’t have asked if you didn’t already have something in mind.”
“I don’t, not really,” he shrugged but the blip in his heart rate exposed the slight lie. “Just - Derek? Or Alpha?” he flushed again, head ducking down as Derek mulled the idea over.
“I’ll answer to either for this, if you want to continue after, we’ll need to go into more detail, okay?” At Stiles’ nod, Derek stood up. He walked forward until he was circling Stiles silently, waiting until Stiles started to fidget before talking again. “Why are you here today?” he asked and his lips twitched when Stiles registered the change in his tone. It was deeper, words more forceful and he could see the pack member in front of him fighting the urge to bare his neck in submission. This wasn’t about pack, at least not completely. As an alpha, Derek was pissed as hell but that would be addressed.
“Punishment,” came the answer and Derek nodded.
“What did you do?”
“I...” he paused, licking his lips nervously. “I tried something I knew I shouldn’t have.”
“What did you try, Stiles?” he pressed.
“I - I tried-” he stopped again and Derek saw him squeezing his eyes shut. He allowed him a few seconds, watching as he had a mental conversation with himself and eventually calmed down enough to complete his answer. “I tried something that I knew would put my life at risk - I tried auto-erotic asphyxiation.” His voice was barely above a whisper but Derek could hear it clear as day.
“Can you think of a reason why I might object to your trying this alone?”
“Yes, alpha,” Stiles breathed, looking more relaxed now, though his eyes were still closed. “I put my life at risk.”
“How?” Derek demanded, voice coming out in more of a growl than he’d intended. Stiles winced, but otherwise didn’t move.
“I cut off my air supply,” he admitted, voice small. He hesitated before continuing slowly. “I knew my fingers were close to the blood vessels on the sides of my neck, but I did it anyway, even though I knew it was dangerous.”
“Why?” ”Derek tried to stop himself growling but the new (but not surprising) information had him angrier than he’d anticipated.
“I wanted to try it, alpha,” Stiles admitted. “I just wanted to try it out myself.”
“And the doms you spoke to in England?” Another flinch calmed Derek down a little, back on familiar ground.
“I asked for their advice, their recommendations. I asked for their help.”
“And did you use the information they gave you when you tried it alone?”
“Yes, alpha,” at those words, Derek nose picked up the scent of tears and he frowned, walking around to Stiles’ front to see tell-tale tracks running down both cheeks. His hands were clenching and unclenching and he was practically vibrating with something, a need for something. “I’m sor-”
“Did I ask for your apology yet?” Derek asked and Stiles gasped at how close he seemed to be. His hands twitched as if they wanted to move to wipe the tears away but he managed to control himself
“No, alpha,” he shook his head, biting his lip, eyes still closed.
It was a testament to how well Derek knew Stiles that what he was doing was actually working. He could smell true remorse coming from the teen, regret for his actions, the impact of his actions weighing fully on his shoulders. Derek knew, he knew Stiles was incredibly tactile, almost as much as the wolves were themselves. If Derek wasn’t 100% sure that Stiles was human (with a bit of magic thrown in), he’d have suspected a were!animal of some variety; his constant need to touch and be touched was endearing and made bonding with the pack a lot easier. It also made interaction and bonding with Derek himself a lot easier. It was obvious to anyone in the pack that Stiles had researched habits and dynamics of werewolf packs and Derek appreciated the effort, and had initially worried that Stiles might have overdone it with the research but had been surprised, pleasantly so, when he sat back and took his cues from the wolves. It had been something that endeared him to Derek the most and through that bond, those relationships, he’d grown to know Stiles very well.
And as such, he knew a lack of physical contact, even in punishment, would be one of the worst punishments Stiles could ever have and would thus, impact him more than a spanking or something similar.
“So you not only betrayed their trust, you threw it in their faces and risked your life.” Stiles inhaled sharply.
“I didn’t-”
“What-” Derek was suddenly an inch in front of Stiles’ face. He could feel Stiles’ breath, and Stiles could feel his. “Didn’t you do?” he growled out and Stiles’ rocked back on his feet, then fell forward before catching himself a second before he would’ve fallen into Derek.
“I didn’t think,” Stiles sighed after a minute, another tear working it’s way passed his still closed eyelids. “I don’t know what I was thinking; in my head I thought I’d been researching and this was the pay-out, like anything else. I didn’t think of the consequences of my actions.”
“You think about everything,” Derek resumed his circling. “You make a point of thinking and over thinking everything you do, for yourself, your father, the pack. Why not this? Why didn’t you think about what might happen if something happened to you?” When Stiles didn’t answer, Derek continued talking. “I’ll tell you why, shall I? You didn’t think, because you didn’t care-”
“No!” Stiles’ eyes flew open wide and locked on Derek’s, his expression pleading. “That’s not it! I swear!”
“Then please,” Derek made a sweeping gesture with his hand. “The floor is yours. Explain!” His narrowed eyes and low, threatening voice made Stiles flinch and gulp audibly.
“I...” he hesitated. “I didn’t,” he sighed, closing his eyes again. “I didn’t think it would matter because they were in England, on the other side of the world near enough. I didn’t think they’d find out.”
“So you betrayed their trust and thought it would be okay because what they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them?” Derek surmised and Stiles nodded, biting his lips again. His hands were once more, twitching and Derek knew he was itching to reach out, but he wouldn’t unless invited or instructed. He knew enough to understand that much. “I didn’t hear you.” he snapped and Stiles gasped again.
“Yes, alpha,” he stuttered. “I betrayed their trust because I thought they wouldn’t find out.”
“I know you’ve explained exactly what you did,” Derek moved on after another minute of silence and went to sit back on the bed. “But what if something had happened?” he asked. “What would you tell your father if you ended up in the hospital because you’d tried to choke yourself?” Stiles’ face scrunched up again and more tears leaked out. His hands had finally stopped twitching, but that was only because he’d crossed them over his chest and was digging his nails into his upper arms. “What would he think if he came home and saw you like that?”
“I don’t,” Stiles choked out. “I didn’t think about- I knew I was okay - He wouldn’t have ever-”
“I didn’t ask that, Stiles!” Derek reminded him sharply. “I asked what you’d say to him, then what would he think if he saw you like that.”
“I’m sorry!” he sobbed and Derek sighed, running a hand through his hair before looking back up at Stiles, who was now staring at him, looking miserable and like he was truly sorry for what he’d done.
“Don’t make me say it again.” He watched Stiles’ entire body shudder and try to fold in on itself to make him smaller but it wasn’t working and he just looked... pathetic wasn’t the most appropriate word given the situation but objectively, pathetic was an appropriate word for what Derek was currently watching.
“I,” he coughed and licked his lips again. “I’d apologise, to my dad,” he whispered. “I’d apologise and explain what I’d done. It would be a horrible conversation, but I’d rather suffer embarrassment than have him thinking I tried to kill myself, which is what he’d think after seeing that.” Derek nodded even though Stiles’ eyes had closed again.
“And Melissa?” Stiles flinched again, but the answer was similar to the first. “And what about the pack, Stiles? Your pack? What would you say to them?”
“Oh God,” he held himself even tighter. “I - I wouldn’t know what to say,” he said honestly. “They’d have to know I didn’t want to kill myself, they’d be able to tell-”
“You think knowing and feeling are interchangeable?” Derek asked curiously and Stiles shook his head. “Then why would you assume they’d understand? Just because we’re half animal doesn’t mean we put less value on the life of a pack member. Do you know what losing a pack member does to us, Stiles?” his tone wasn’t gentle. “Remember the loss of your mother, then multiply it by however many pack members there are, because we feel each other in times of heightened emotion like that. We have to be able to because we rely on each other for comfort and support, we feel each other’s grief, Stiles, and so the loss of a pack member, the loss of you would be devastating to all of us.”
By the time Derek had finished speaking, Stiles had fallen to his knees on the carpet. He was staring up at Derek, pleading with his eyes for something Derek wasn’t quite ready to give.
“I’m making you think of the worst case scenario, not because I enjoy seeing you like this, but because I need you to think about what could have happened, no matter how unlikely, no matter how many precautions you took, you did something irresponsible and this will make sure you don’t do anything like it again. So,” he paused, still staring into Stiles’ eyes. “What about me?”
Derek wasn’t sure who was more shocked when, as soon as the words registered in Stiles’ brain, he broke down.
--
A short while later, Stiles was curled up, sleeping on Derek’s bed, completely physically and mentally drained by what had just happened. Derek was sat beside him, one hand carding fingers through Stiles’ hair while the other typed out a response to the prose-heavy dom.
Mr Spencer,
Our mutual friend had been handled the only way I knew he would respond to,
which wascomplete touch avoidance. Our group; our family is very tight knit, very
tactile and very much in each other’s pockets almost every minute of every day. He has
become an integral part of that group and as such, I decided to remove the one thing that
gave him the comfort and stability he constantly craves. While admittedly, I was
uncomfortable with keeping him just beyond arms reach when he was clearly upset, it
drove my point home and I believe we can both rest easy in the knowledge that he won’t
be so reckless again.
I know it isn’t quite traditional as far as punishments go but it did the job and while
his actions may have, in another time or place, warranted a more physical approach,
what was required was more mental than physical and as such, what happened was more
than effective.
Thank you for your assistance and your patience with him.
Kind regards,
Mr D. Hale.
The email sent, Derek closed his laptop and set it aside, concentrating on taking care of the still sleeping Stiles, his mind already thinking about what would be asked of him later.