Chapter Text
Thor and Loki were spelunking in each other's love caverns.
They were paddling each other's canoes up a waterfall.
They were playing a concerto on each other's flesh flutes.
They were seeking safe passage through the devil's anus, if the devil was Loki and the anus was an anus.
"Oh brother," Thor moaned.
"Yes, brother, fuck me," Loki warbled.
"I love you and your sexy body to have sex with," Thor sang.
"I love you too brother, do me the incest to me," Loki purred.
Thor was busy sheathing his longsword into Loki's cock holster when they were rudely interrupted by someone clamoring through their bedroom window.
"Who are you? How did you get up here?" Thor questioned, whilst flipping Loki upside down and continuing to hammer his brother's bifrost.
"Don't worry about what I'M doing, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" the intruder's voice immediately rose into a screech.
"I'm fucking my brother," Loki said. Because he was indeed currently plowing Thor's fields to sow his wild oats.
"He's your BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!" the peeping tom peeped.
"Yes. I know," Loki said, putting his brother's hammer into his tesseract for safe keeping.
"Yes. We know that," Thor said, practicing his fingering on Loki's love lute.
"Then stop it!!!!!" their unwanted guest wailed.
"No," Loki refused, spanking Thor's plump ass over his lap.
"No," Thor refused, pouring his molten dick lava into Loki's burning hot magma chamber.
"THIS IS DISGUSTING! I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT!"
"Listen, sweaty. :) You are the one who chose to climb through our window and watch us. If you don't like it, just leave," Loki said, perfectly logically and articulately, considering that he currently had both of Thor's balls in his mouth.
"This is MY space now! I came up here and now you're in MY space! Doing the incest! Harming everyone involved!"
"Who is this harming?" Thor asked, chugging Loki's cock like a fratboy doing a kegstand.
"Me and anyone else who happens to climb through your window to watch you!"
"But this is our bedroom, and we are both enjoying this," Thor said, churning his buttermilk inside Loki's creamy asshole.
"BUT **I'M** NOT!"
"But this isn't about you. So why are you still here?" Loki asked, spinning Thor on his dick like a basketball.
"I'M ALLOWED TO BE HERE AND NOT HAVE TO SEE THESE THINGS AND I AM NOT LEAVING UNTIL YOU STOP!"
"We're gods. We do what we want," Loki mooed, while Thor milked him like a cow.
"If you don't stop, then I'm -- I'M!!! -- I'm going to PEE MY PANTS."
Thor and Loki stopped bouncing on each other's pogo sticks. Their heads turned towards their uninvited interloper with a unison glare that made the poor idiot fill with pure dread. It was the first time they had felt any emotion other than entitlement and righteous anger towards others. Maybe... just maybe... they were somehow... in the wrong??? NO. It couldn't be! But as they watched with wide terrified eyes, Loki morphed into former US president Barack Obama, and his terrible pun of a dead meme was the last thing they ever heard.
"Then pee-rish."
Legend has it that Thor and Loki are still dingalingalinging each other's pingalings and their hater is perpetually drowning in an ocean of their own salty piss that will one day flood the earth and kill us all, amen.