Chapter Text
"What about her? She's got five-star reviews and she can handle triplets."
"She looks like she could be a serial killer."
"That's what you've said about every nanny we've looked at so far!" Haru huffed as he adjusted Yuki in his arms.
"Well, I'm sorry, but we're putting our trust in a stranger! Any of them could wait for us to come home, kill us, and raise the triplets as their own! Or they could skip the murder itself and just run with the triplets!" Rin frowned as he scrolled past the nanny's smiling face and moved onto the next one.
Rin and Haru were in the process of selecting a nanny to care for their children through a website. There were thousands of nannies and Rin keeps shooting them down. Haru knew that Rin didn't trust people in general with everything he has seen as a cop so far but this was getting ridiculous. They've been at this for three hours now and Haru was getting irritated. He thought they'd be here for one hour sifting through nannies then pick the one that was most qualified in their eyes to take care of their babies.
Haru understood Rin's hesitation, he felt nervous about leaving his kids with a stranger as well, but they needed to come together and pick a nanny. If Rin was able to support this family with his job alone then Haru could gladly stay home and just hang out with Makoto all day but he can't, especially with the triplets' hospital bill. Haru shuddered to think about that bill laying beside him on the bedside table. He's getting hives just thinking about it. Haru was trying to look for an excellent nanny who wasn't that expensive while Rin was looking for someone who didn't look like a potential serial killer.
"I know what we're doing is going to take a lot of trust on our ends but this site is completely trustworthy. They provide background checks and there are reviews from other parents."
Rin sighed. "I'm sorry for being so difficult. I just really don't feel comfortable leaving the triplets with a stranger." He really didn't. He would rather Haru stay home or at least ask a friend of theirs to watch their babies but that was not plausible. Haru loved his job and he'd just complain about how bored he was once the triplets start going to school. Their friends have kids of their own and they couldn't ask them to take care of three more babies. Rin wished he could easily set aside his own trust issues but it wasn't easy.
Haru frowned a little. "You're allowed to feel uncomfortable, RIn. I don't like the idea so much either but we have no choice. I can't quit my job and our friends and family don't have the time to look after the triplets."
"We need to take a break then come back at this with fresh minds."
"Agreed," Haru sighed. "I knew it was gonna take a while to find a nanny but I didn't think we'd take a pass on so many."
Rin frowned a little. "We're trusting a total stranger with our children, it isn't easy."
"If we're having this much trouble finding a trustworthy nanny, I shudder to think about sending them to school."
At school, they'll have to trust strangers around their children all the time and any teacher can take advantage of that trust. Rin was already untrusting of the nannies they were looking at and Haru was scared to think of how Rin was gonna be with teachers. Haru could already hear Rin asking his kids questions about their teacher(s) or possibly run background checks. Rin is protective of the kids and Haru liked that but he wished Rin had some faith in people. Not everyone will hurt their kids.
"I'll be okay when we send them off to school. It's just looking for a nanny that has me going nuts." Rin said as he laid back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling.
Haru sighed a little. He felt a little apprehensive about leaving the babies with a nanny and he wanted to stay at home with them but that wasn't a possibility. "It'll be easy once we agree on a nanny and at least interview them and watch them interact with the babies so we'll have some peace of mind."
Maybe that could help them out. Just invite a nanny over for an interview and watch her interact with the triplets could help them gain some peace of mind. Well, it could help Rin feel easy about leaving the triplets with someone during the day. Haru adjusted Yuki in his arms and the baby snuggled closer to her mother. He wanted to spend as much time as possible with his children and it saddened him to know that he couldn't be home with them all the time but he had no other choice.
At that moment, the doorbell rang. Haru carefully stood up form the bed with Yuki in his arms and walked downstairs. When he opened it, it was Makoto's mother holding a bag. Since the triplets came home, Mrs. Tachibana has been dropping by for an hour or two every day to check up on them or give them pre-cooked meals. Haru was grateful for her coming over, especially since they're new parents. They already have an idea of what they're doing but it doesn't hurt to have some help, especially since they're juggling three babies.
"Mrs. Tachibana, how are you?" Haru asked as he stepped aside to let her in.
"Oh, I'm doing well, Haru. How's the family today?" She asked as she came inside and took her shoes off.
"We're okay, we're just looking for nannies to take care of the triplets when we start going back to work."
"You're not going to stay home with them?" Mrs. Tachibana asked with surprise in her voice.
Haru pressed his lip in a thin line as he adjusted Yuki in his arms as he led Mrs. Tachibana to the living room. "I'd love to stay with them but our bills are going to go up with the triplets and Rin's salary won't be able to support all five of us so I have to keep my job."
"Oh, I understand. Are you looking for nannies?"
"We were just doing that but we had to stop because Rin was being too picky." Haru frowned. All he wanted to do was pick a nanny and be done with it. The faster they hired a nanny, the better.
Mrs. Tachibana sighed a little. "I can understand why Rin's being so picky; leaving your children with a stranger is a big step and finding the right person takes time."
Haru sighed as he held his daughter a little closer. He was still iffy about leaving his children with a stranger, even if it was for a few hours a day. There are so many stories involving caregivers mistreating the children they're in charge of or even kidnapping them. He saw what Makoto and Sousuke went through when Shiori was kidnapped and it was hard to see them go through that. He didn't want to go through that kind of pain and he knew Rin had every right to be skeptical because he sees cases like these all the time in his job.
"I can understand it, too. I remember what seeing what Makoto went through when Shiori went missing and I don't want to go through that pain, and I've miscarried."
"Speaking of, how are you feeling? I know it took a lot of healing for you to go through with another pregnancy."
A weary sigh left Haru's lips as he thought about how he'd been feeling since the triplets were born. He was happy about his children being here and he wouldn't change it at all, but, it all felt bittersweet. He should have four children right now. Not a day goes by that he doesn't think about Kiyoshi and where they'd be right now. He always wonders what could have been and it kills him a little inside knowing that he almost had a baby but fate violently ripped his baby away from him.
They waited a while to try again and Haru thought he was ready to start a family but it still hurts. He was happy that his babies were here but there's still a void left in his heart. He could see now that this pain will never go away. He thought that he had finally learned to live with it but the triplets' birth brought these feelings back to the surface. Haru hasn't told Rin any of this out of fear that it would start an argument. He didn't want to seem like he wasn't happy.
"I'm doing fine and just taking things one day at a time and focusing on the triplets, you know?" Haru lied.
Mrs. Tachibana gave Haru a small frown. "Haru, a mother can always tell when something's up. Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'll always be torn up about the miscarriage. Not a day goes by that I don't think of what could have been and where things would be right now if the baby had survived. I'm going to wonder about that for the rest of my life as the triplets grow up and I will wonder about it until the day I die; the pain doesn't go away but all I can do is live with it as best I can."
"Have you talked to Rin about any of this?"
"We've been preoccupied with the triplets so we haven't gotten a good chance for another heart-to-heart about the miscarriage. I don't even know how to bring any of this up to him; he just seems so happy now that the babies are here and that I'm alive and I don't want to stick a pin in it," Haru frowned as he thought about how happy Rin has been lately.
Throughout the pregnancy, Rin wasn't very enthusiastic about being a father. He didn't like the thought of potentially losing a child, losing Haru, and becoming a single father in one fell swoop at all and it showed. Rin tried to be optimistic and tried to look at the bright side of everything but Haru could see that Rin was stuck on the thought of losing him. Now that he hasn't faced any of those tragedies, Rin was happier than ever. Haru didn't want to stick a needle in his boyfriend's happiness.
"Part of being a parent--or an adult in general--is talking to our loved ones and letting them know when things aren't okay, even when things are going perfectly. You need to talk to Rin about how you're feeling, even if it does kill the happy mood the triplets' birth just created. You can't keep whatever you're feeling to yourself."
"I know but-"
"Haru, who was at the door?" Rin asked from a short distance as he walked into the living room. "Oh, Mrs. Tachibana, how are you today?"
"I'm doing just fine, Rin. How are you?"
Rin sat down next to Haru and wrapped an arm around his boyfriend. "I'm doing good, just having a hard time looking for a nanny."
"Haru told me all about it. Trusting your child with a stranger is tough, no matter how qualified they are."
"It is. My mind just keeps going through possibilities of what could happen to them the moment we leave them with someone, you know? Being a cop, I'm used to hearing about and seeing some pretty messed up things that stick with me which is why I worry so much." Rin explained.
Rin was used to hearing about cases where a child is mistreated. Hearing about them made him sick but being a part of it made him lose faith in humanity. He dealt with some real negligent and abusive assholes that he just wanted to punch in the throat. Out of all the cases that involved children, Shiori's kidnapping made him the sickest. He wasn't part of the team looking into it because of how close he was to the case but overhearing the details of the investigation made him angry and he wanted to clobber the one responsible for taking Shiori.
When Rin learned Haru was pregnant the second time, he constantly worried about how he was going to keep his family safe. He saw what Sousuke and Makoto went through when Shiori was missing and he didn't want the same thing to happen to his family, ever. Rin didn't want to take a chance and invite a stranger in his home to care for his children. Even if they presented themselves with a squeaky clean record, no one can tell what a person is thinking.
"That's true. It's every parent's worst nightmare having something happen to their child, especially if their job to deal with dangerous situations on a daily basis." Mrs. Tachibana frowned.
Haru held Yuki a little closer. He remembered what it was like seeing the triplets in those incubators for the first time. He was so happy yet so, so scared for their lives. Even having them home still makes him worry. The health problems they were born with may follow them for life and Haru hated the thought of them suffering from those problems. For the moment they were perfectly healthy but things can always go south, no matter how great they seem.
"I know what you mean. When we find a nanny, we have to make sure they know how to take care of premature infants because the babies need to be closely monitored. Sakura can't be too hot or too cold, Haruko needs to be constantly monitored for her breathing, and we never know with Yuki's heart." Haru explained.
"What did the doctor say about Yuki's heart?"
"The doctor said her heart was okay before she was discharged but we can't help but worry about her."
Knowing that there was something wrong with their daughter's heart scared Rin and Haru. The doctor assured them multiple times that the hole should have closed by now but they still worried that something could happen. The thought of losing any one of their children scared the hell out of them as they feared what losing a child would do to them. Their relationship barely survived when Haru had the miscarriage, losing one of the triplets would completely obliterate their relationship.
Mrs. Tachibana smiled sadly. "A parent will always worry about their child so you aren't the first parents to feel this way and you certainly won't be the last. I'd offer to take care of the triplets for you but I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to cater to their health needs if they had something were to happen to them. You'll need to look for a nanny who can."
"We're trying but there are just so many nannies to comb through so if my trust issues aren't screwing a potential nanny out of a job, it's their qualifications and what they can handle."
"I should have said this earlier but on some level, your trust in the people you let around your children can easily break. Trust is a fragile thing but when you're a parent, the trust is much more fragile because it's about your child and you want them to be safe and you don't want anyone to hurt them in any way and you'll do everything in your power to keep them safe.
"That being said, you have to learn to take a chance with who you let around your child and now is the best time to start learning. If you keep this up then your children will grow up sheltered and won't be able to function in the real world or be independent. Raising your children like that does more harm than good and it won't be good for you either because, in your eyes, no one will be good enough to be near your children and you won't be able to handle letting them go into the real world. If you don't take this chance now, then you never will."
Rin stayed silent. He had no idea how to respond to that because he had a lot to think about now. He had to start learning how to trust strangers with the triplets. For him, it was kind of hard because they were so close to losing the triplets. Throughout Haru's pregnancy, he was scared of something happening to the babies and now that they're here, and as healthy as they can be, Rin didn't want anything to happen to them. Their safety and happiness were all that mattered to him and he wanted to do everything in his power to make sure they were safe.
"I think I understand what you're saying, Mrs. Tachibana. You're really wise."
"Wisdom is something you gain through the years, you'll be this wise when you get to be my age. I should get going, I took up enough of your time already." Mrs. Tachibana said as she stood up.
"Thank you for coming over and giving us some advice, we really appreciate it," Haru said with a small smile as he carefully stood up with Yuki in his arms.
"It was my pleasure. I'll show myself out, you two need to get back to the babies." Mrs. Tachibana said as she left the young couple alone in the house.
Haru and Rin went back upstairs to their bedroom where Sakura and Haruko were still resting. Haru put Yuki down in her crib before he joined Rin on their bed as Rin went back on the laptop and started looking through nannies. They both had a lot to think about since talking to Makoto's mother. Rin had to learn to take a chance with the people he lets around his children--within reason. Haru had to fess up to Rin about how he's been feeling since the triplets were born. Haru had no idea how to bring it up to him.
This kind of information isn't the easiest to reveal and it's a conversation that they need to have. Haru understood all of that well but the way Rin lights up around the triplets is amazing and Haru didn't want to ruin it. He hasn't seen Rin this happy in a long time and he wanted to keep this up for just a little while longer. But then again, keeping all of this bottled up could do their relationship more harm than good. Haru shook the thoughts out of his mind as he peered over Rin's shoulder and messaged a nanny.
"I see you're taking Mrs. Tachibana's advice to heart."
"Well, yeah, if I don't take a leap of faith now then I won't be able to function without the kids out of my sight."
"Hmm, at least we'll be able to interview a nanny now." Haru tried to smile.
He wanted to talk to Rin about how he's been feeling but he didn't want to burst the bubble of happiness Rin seemed to have around him. He knew he had to tell Rin about how he felt but he wanted to stay in this bubble of happiness just a little bit longer. Then again, he remembered what keeping his feelings to himself almost did to their relationship. When Haru miscarried, he kept to himself for two weeks because he was so broken by what happened.
When they regrouped with each other as a couple, they agreed that they'd be strong when the other was weak. They're almost right back where they were over a year ago. Haru's keeping his feelings to himself and not letting Rin know how he was feeling and how much he was hurting in his heart. Don't get him wrong, he was happy that his children were finally here but part of him felt like something was missing. He wanted to communicate his feelings to Rin but he didn't want to cause an argument. Maybe one day soon he'll talk to Rin about it all but for now, he just wanted to stay in this bliss.
Nagisa couldn't believe his eyes. If it weren't for Mizuki crying in the background, he might not even believe that it was real. In front of him stood Rei's mother with an unreadable expression on her face and holding some Tupperware with food inside of it. Nagisa so desperately wanted to slam the door in her face. He wanted to tell her to go fuck herself but stopped himself from slamming the door in her face before she could even tell him why she was here. It's been months since they've seen each other. In fact, Nagisa was still pregnant the last time they spoke.
It was at that dinner Rei had here. Rei wanted to make a point to his parents that Nagisa is his husband now and there's nothing they can do anymore. Rei even threatened to cut them off if they didn't start changing their tunes and accepting things as they were. Nagisa felt a little guilty for that night. He didn't want Rei to fall out with his parents. Nagisa knew what that was like and he didn't want to see it happen to Rei or experience it with Mizuki. Nagisa cleared his throat and regained his composure before he did his best to smile at Rei's mother.
"Mrs. Ryugazaki, it's a pleasure to see you again! What brings you here?" Nagisa asked in the most polite voice he could muster even though he really wanted to tell her to go the fuck away.
"Rei called and left us a message saying that you had your baby. May I come in and see him?"
"Oh! Of course, please come in." Nagisa said as he stepped aside to let his mother-in-law in. He jogged back to the bedroom to get his baby who has been crying since Rei's mother knocked on the door.
Nagisa carefully picked up his baby and began to calm him down. He had just put Mizuki down for a nap when Rei's mother knocked at the door. Normally, Rei or Katsurou would have handled the door but they were both out shopping for dinner tonight. Nagisa almost wanted to call them and tell them not to bother but the fridge was almost empty. Mizuki started to calm down and Nagisa smiled as he rocked his baby back to sleep. If Mizuki didn't go back down for his nap now then it would be impossible to put him to sleep later tonight.
After a minute, Mizuki finally began to quiet down and go back to sleep. Nagisa sighed in relief that Mizuki went down so fast. It usually takes a while for him to calm him down and go back to sleep when he's abruptly woken up from a nap. Nagisa put his son back in his crib before he took the receiver for the baby monitor out back to the living room where Rei's mother was still waiting for him. Nagisa put an apologetic smile on his face as he sat down at the table across from his mother-in-law.
"I'm so sorry I left you sitting out here. Mizuki was taking a nap and I had to get him to go back to sleep."
"You don't have to apologize for that. So, where's Rei?"
"Out shopping. We ran out of food and he went to go buy some more." Nagisa explained. Mrs. Ryugazaki frowned at that a little.
"He should be here with you and helping with the baby. Aren't you overwhelmed with taking care of the baby by yourself?"
Nagisa shook his head no, "I'll admit, some days I do get overwhelmed but I'm fine with being alone with Mizuki. And Rei helps out with him a lot."
As happy as Nagisa has been this past month, he did have his days. There were some days where he just couldn't bring himself to get out of bed and take care of his son or do anything around the house. Rei would take over on those days and Nagisa felt a little guilty making Rei take care of Mizuki. He says that he doesn't mind it but Nagisa still feels guilt over it. He feels like he is failing at his job as a mother because he isn't taking care of his son. Every cry just made him feel worse and worse and it was an unshakable feeling.
During Mizuki's checkup, the doctor assured him that what he was going through was normal and that it will eventually pass. It was recommended that he go to therapy and talk to someone and possibly get on medication to help him out. Nagisa started thinking about it after that visit. He would like the help but he felt that he was okay without it. Or at least he thought he was. Sure, he had his days but he didn't think there was a problem. He was doing his best and his son was happy and healthy and that's all that mattered to him.
"Well, I'm sure he's a little ball of sunshine most of the time. He is a Hazuki, after all."
"Actually, it's Ryugazaki," Nagisa corrected her. Mrs. Ryugazaki's face flushed pink in embarrassment. She probably still thought that Mizuki should have taken Nagisa's original last name.
"Oh? He's a Ryugazaki?"
"He is," Nagisa proudly said, "Katsurou wanted Mizuki to have his mother's last name and, technically, my last name is Ryugazaki."
Mrs. Ryugazaki chuckled a little. "You are a Ryugazaki now so it's only fair."
Nagisa looked at her with skepticism clear on his face. "That's funny. I seem to remember you saying you didn't want Ryugazaki to be Mizuki's last name because Rei isn't his biological father. You said that Rei shouldn't be forced to give his last name to a child that isn't biologically his if I remember correctly."
"That was before I had time to think about everything." Mrs. Ryugazaki bitterly remembered. She looked embarrassed by what she said that night and probably everything she's even said to Nagisa before that. "I'm sorry, Nagisa. I am sorry about everything I have ever said and done to you."
"Oh really?"
"Yes. You have every reason to kick me out and never forgive me but, please, give me a chance."
Nagisa sighed a little as he thought about it. He's waited for a long time for her to apologize for her wrongdoings, but the fact that it has taken her this long to realize what she was saying was hurtful to him hurt him a little. He knew it was because Rei threatened to cut himself off from his parents if she couldn't learn how to learn to live with Nagisa and Mizuki being part of the family. She could just be saying this so that Rei would still keep in contact with her.
"You have to answer a question for me first: Why do you hate me? I never did anything to you to make you hate me." Nagisa frowned.
Mrs. Ryugazaki frowned. "I hated you because you weren't the kind of person I wanted Rei to be with."
"I wasn't the kind of person you wanted Rei to be with? What does that mean?" Nagisa asked.
"You weren't a woman," Mrs. Ryugazaki clarified. "I always dreamt of the day Rei would bring home a nice young woman. When he came out and told me that you two were dating, I was in shock and disappointed and I didn't know what to think or how to feel. I hated you for not being a woman and I hated you for being the one Rei was going to be with forever.
"When I found out you were pregnant with another man's baby and married to Rei, I practically lost it because I thought Rei was trapped. But after that night, I started to change. Rei spoke about you and your son with so much love in his voice that it started to make me think. Maybe Rei is happy being with you and he is happy about having a family, even though the child isn't his. I've been thinking since that dinner and I don't want to lose my son. I don't expect you to forgive me right away but I'm asking you, as my son-in-law, to please give me another chance."
Nagisa pressed his lips together in a tight line as he thought about it for a minute. He did want to get along with Rei's family and this was a perfect chance to start. Then again, he didn't feel easy about it. She hit him while he was pregnant with Mizuki and made it clear that she didn't see him or his son as part of the family. Nagisa wanted to accept her apology but he knew he shouldn't be so ready to forgive her. As apologetic as she is being right now, Nagisa was skeptical and he had every right to be. This woman made his life hell and caused a major rift between him and Rei. Nagisa shuddered to think of what she could do to their family.
"I'll be honest with you, I don't know how to go about this. You've said and done some pretty hurtful things to me that were so out of pocket and uncalled for. You're only just now seeing me and my son as part of the family because Rei threatened to cut off contact with you. Why should I give you another chance when you never gave me one?"
"Look, I know I'm asking a lot of you right now so you don't have to agree to anything right now but at least consider it. I haven't been the best person to get along with and I see that now. I may not have gained the daughter-in-law I wanted but I did gain a son-in-law and if we really are going to learn to love each other and be a family, I have to learn to get along with you and respect you."
"You never respected me before?"
Mrs. Ryugazaki pressed her lips into a thin line. "I did respect you at first for sticking with Rei for so long but then my respect flew out the window once I found out about your pregnancy and your marriage to my son. I was angry because Rei signed up for a life that I never wanted for him. I felt like he had been tricked into something. I really am sorry for how I acted while you were pregnant."
"I accept your apology." Nagisa smiled a little. At least he finally got that sincere apology for that night in the coffee shop. "Having Mizuki made me understand why you were so angry. I'd be mad at anyone who did the same thing to Mizuki but I don't think I would have reacted as... strongly as you did."
"What would you do if you were in my place?"
"I'd sit Mizuki down and have a long talk with him and make sure he knows what he's getting himself into. I wouldn't like it at all but I'd trust Mizuki's judgment and try to be as civil as possible. If the person he's with clearly isn't treating him right then I'll throw my two cents in but, otherwise, I'll just have to trust my son and hope that no one involved gets hurt in the long run. I think that's a trust that you have to place in Rei."
Mrs. Ryugazaki stayed silent. Nagisa frowned a little at her lack of words. It seemed that she didn't trust Rei to be able to handle this or to live with it. Even after all this time, it seemed that she never thought that Rei would be able to live with this. In spite of what she might think, Rei has been able to handle it all. He's embraced fatherhood and he is always eager to play with Mizuki or take care of him when Nagisa needed a break. Rei is happy with his life as it is and as far as Nagisa knows, he has no complaints.
"Is Rei really happy?" Mrs. Ryugazaki asked, finally breaking her silence.
Nagisa smiled a little. "He is. I'll admit, he wasn't so enthusiastic in the beginning but over time and especially after Mizuki's birth, Rei fully came around."
"Okay. That's all that matters to me." Mrs. Ryugazaki smiled.
Nagisa felt a little better talking to his mother-in-law. He finally had some closure for her rude attitude and callous behavior towards him and he finally had a sincere apology for that night. She really did seem like she was willing to make a change. She wanted to be part of her son's life and her son's life now involved marriage and a child. She seemed like she was ready to embrace having a son-in-law and it looks like she was willing to treat Mizuki as her own grandchild which Nagisa had no problem with at all.
"If you really are serious about this then I'll give you another chance but if you try any of the shit you pulled while I was pregnant or hurt my baby in any way, I won't hesitate to cut off contact. Do you understand?"
Mrs. Ryugazaki shook her head yes, "I do."
"Perfect. I think this may be the start of something beautiful."
"As do I," Mrs. Ryugazaki agreed before she started to stand up. "I should get going, I'm cutting into your rest time and I interrupted Mizuki's nap time. Thank you for allowing me into your home and for letting me talk to you."
Nagisa stood up and walked her to the door. "It was my pleasure. I'm glad we could have a chance to talk to each other. I'm just sorry you couldn't meet Mizuki-"
"He needs his rest." Mrs. Ryugazaki interrupted as she put her shoes on. "Believe me, it isn't worth it to disturb his nap just for my sake. I'll just try to come at a time when he's awake. Thank you again, Nagisa."
With that, Mrs. Ryugazaki left the apartment. Nagisa let out a huge sigh of relief and thought about what just happened.
Rei's mother, the woman who never had a kind word to say to him and called him awful names. The woman who hit him while he was pregnant and accused him of lying to Rei about the baby's paternity. Someone who patronized him in his own home. A woman who didn't even consider his son part of the family nor embrace her new son-in-law until the threat of never having her son in her life ever again loomed over her head. She genuinely apologized to him and gave him closure for her attitude towards him.
Nagisa felt so many emotions. He felt accepted and he felt like this was a new beginning. Going near Rei's family wouldn't be weird anymore. He didn't have to anticipate any arguments or mentally prepare himself the night before a get-together. He would no longer feel uneasy around his in-laws. Rei wouldn't feel torn between his mother and his family. Mizuki wouldn't grow up feeling completely alienated simply because he wasn't a Ryugazaki by blood. Well, not by Rei's immediate family at least. Nagisa couldn't speak for Rei's extended family.
He walked back to his bedroom and laid down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. With all the bullshit he's faced these last ten months, he was happy that things were going in the right direction for him and his family. Nagisa was beginning to look forward to future family gatherings with his in-laws with a renewed optimism. He hadn't felt this in so many years and it felt good. Things are going to be different from here on out and Nagisa was excited to see what changes were coming his way. For the first time in a long time, Nagisa felt peace.
Makoto held the phone in his hand and let his thumb hover over the call button. After talking to Sousuke, he agreed that he would try to talk to his mother and deal with this in a calm and dignified manner. The last time they met, nothing was calm about it. They were yelling and arguing over his wedding and the fact that they eloped and then his mother called Shiori a freak of nature. Makoto's temper flared and he yelled at his mother for insulting his daughter and then he left and hadn't spoken to her since that night.
He missed his mother and wanted to talk to her but he couldn't forgive her for what she said about his daughter. He could take what she was dishing out at him but when she dragged Shiori into it, that was the last straw for him. He could never forgive anyone who hurt his daughter so cutting off contact with his mother hurt him. He would have gone on forever if that talk with Sousuke hadn't reminded him of the ways his mother helped him during his first pregnancy and after Shiori was born.
He wanted to make amends with his mother because he didn't want to let this kill their relationship. Despite everything, she was still his mother and she still cared for him and loved him. Neither of them wanted to let the relationship go like this and if what Sousuke said is true, then she was willing to meet him halfway. Still, he struggled to call her. All the anger he felt that night kept coming through and he stopped himself. Makoto told himself that this was going to take time but in reality, he isn't sure he's ready to forgive her yet.
Ever since that night, Makoto's thoughts towards his mother changed. He just couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that his mother let her anger get the better of her. She was usually so calm and level-headed, everything Makoto aspired to be when he had Shiori and seeing her lose her composure like that still shook him to the core. He wanted to overlook it and chalk it up to a momentary loss of composure but he still couldn't get over what she said about Shiori. When his mother called her a freak of nature, it hurt him deeply and he felt insulted. He wasn't ready to forgive his mother for that just yet.
Makoto put his phone down and sighed as he rubbed his belly. He's tried so many times to call his mother and talk to her but he's chickened out every time. He goes into this thinking that he's going to talk to his mother and have a calm conversation but then he chickens out of it. As much as he wanted to square everything away, he simply just isn't ready to talk to his mother yet, let alone forgive her for what she said. He wanted to leave that bit up to Shiori since that insult was pointed at her.
A knock at the door brought Makoto out of his thoughts. He wasn't expecting any visitors today and Sousuke didn't leave his key at home. At least to Makoto's knowledge, Sousuke remembered to take his key. He carefully lifted himself off of the couch and waddled to the door. He opened the door to see his father standing there. Makoto hadn't talked to his father much since that night. They talked occasionally, mainly when his father asked about him or the twins or Shiori, but outside of that, they haven't really said much to one another.
Makoto smiled a little and stepped aside to let his father into the house. "Hey Dad, what are you doing here?"
"I just wanted to come over and talk to you." Mr. Tachibana said as he walked inside and took his shoes off.
"Oh, about what? Is everything okay at home? Did something happen to the twins?" Makoto asked with worry evident in his voice as he led his father to the living room.
When they got to the living room, they sat down on the couch. Makoto was mentally preparing himself for the worst news he could hear. He prayed that it was nothing too bad but he still felt uneasy about this, especially with the vague tone his father had in his voice.
"No, no, everything's just fine but we need to talk about this situation between you and your mother."
Makoto frowned deeply as he placed his hands on his belly. "What about her?"
"She misses you every day and she wants to sit down and talk to you about what happened that night and wholeheartedly apologize for it."
"She's sorry? The woman who called my daughter, her oldest granddaughter, a freak of nature on purpose, is sorry? She knew what she was saying that night. I could handle everything she said about me and Sousuke and I can forgive her for that but she crossed a line when she brought Shiori into it and she knew she was crossing a line."
Mr. Tachibana frowned. "You can't forgive her for what she said about Shiori, can you?"
Makoto shook his head no. It was hard to forgive her for saying that. It was easy to console his daughter if someone talked bad about her but it's worse when a grandparent says it; a grandparent who helped raise her no less. Makoto couldn't fathom why his own mother would say that to her and Shiori was so confused and even asked Makoto on one occasion if her grandmother even loved her. It stung Makoto's heart to hear his daughter utter those words. He thought he'd never have to hear those words in his lifetime and it hurt.
"I can't speak for your mother but I do know that she was hurt that night. She knows that she was out of line that night and she wants to make amends for it."
"I know she was hurt but that's still no excuse for what she said. Has she always thought about Shiori that way?" Makoto asked. He began to wonder if his mother truly felt that way about Shiori but only kept her mouth shut because she didn't want to offend Makoto.
"You have to admit, the circumstances of Shiori's birth and your twins for that matter is weird and hard to grasp but your mother never once thought of Shiori as a freak. All your mother knew was that she was that there was a new life coming into the word and she wanted to help you prepare for it."
"Then why did she say it?"
"I don't know. What I do know is that you have to talk to your mother to find out otherwise it will just keep eating away at you."
Makoto sighed and thought for a moment. His mother's words have been weighing on him for the last three months. He wanted to know how she could say that and what could easily bring her to do so. He also wanted to know why she had such a strong reaction to the revelation of his elopement. He wanted to know all of this but he couldn't bring himself to get any answers. If three months could make him a little nutty then the rest of his life could take a big toll on him. But then again, he wasn't so sure he wanted to know.
He was afraid of opening a can of worms that hadn't been touched in years. He was afraid of learning an ugly truth that would further sprout feelings of resentment. He was scared of forever losing his relationship with his mother. He loved her and wanted to have her in his life and his children's lives but he had to talk to her and he was afraid of the outcome. That night scared him and he was afraid to talk to her out of fear of that night repeating itself.
"I'm just scared, Dad. I'm so scared of that night repeating itself and losing Mom forever." Makoto began to cry. His father hugged him and rubbed his back as he cried.
"Your mother loves you and she won't let that night repeat itself. All you have to do is talk to her." Mr. Tachibana let his son go for a moment to wipe the tears from his eyes. "I know it's scary but you have to approach this as a grown-up and hold your head up high."
Makoto nodded. He had to face his fear head-on and finally squash this beef. It's been killing him not talking to his mother. He really could have used her help when he and Sousuke were fighting. He needed her as a shoulder to cry on then and it hurt that he couldn't bring himself to call her back then. Then again, he didn't want to forgive her on Shiori's behalf. Shiroi heard her grandmother call her a freak of nature and he wanted to make sure that Shiori forgave her for that before he could really talk to his mother.
"I'll talk to Mom but only if she apologizes to Shiori. I don't want to put her in an uncomfortable situation."
"She will. She loves you both and she'll do anything to make things right with you two."
"Okay then, I'll call her and set something up and I'll make sure Shiori's here to hear her apology."
"Great. Thank you for doing this, I know you probably didn't want to think about doing this while you're still pregnant."
Makoto rubbed his baby bump and thought for a moment. He had thought about doing this after the twins came along but he wanted his mother there when the twins were born and he wanted her in his children's lives. He also wanted to do this because she was a big help during his first pregnancy in so many ways. He wanted that support in his life and he would be completely lost without it. Hopefully, they would be able to talk things out and start the path to forgiveness.
"I just don't want to let this drag out any longer. We just need to talk and hopefully put an end to this once and for all. I just hope I can forgive her."
"No one said you had to immediately forgive her. It's a process and something you work towards one day at a time."
Makoto knew that he wouldn't be able to forgive his mother right away. He knew that he had to take time to forgive her and he was willing to begin the process. He's had three months to process everything that happened that night and stay angry but now, he just wanted to talk it out. He didn't want to stay angry at his mother forever. As much as he could easily say he could cut someone out of his life, he couldn't really cut his mother out of his life. Then again, she's been cut out of his life for the past three months.
Hopefully, they'll be able to talk everything out and another screaming match wouldn't occur over his marriage. It's hard to believe that all of this started over the fact that she didn't agree with Makoto and Sousuke eloping. Makoto hoped that his mother realized that what he did when he got married was his business and she just had to accept the fact that he was married now, even if she didn't agree with it. No matter how this went down, Makoto knew one thing and one thing only: his family came first and if nothing came of this, he wouldn't hesitate to permanently cut his mother out of his life.