Chapter Text
*Bellamy’s POV*
Bellamy watched silently from the hallway, as Clarke slowly shuffled back to the couch and the mysterious package the male had given her. He hadn’t known Marcus well, had seen him in passing, and then during the day he and his sister had been banished. As much as Clarke seemed to trust him, Bellamy didn’t know him and would need to be shown he could.
He did believe him when he said he’d lead Abigail away, but just like he knew Clarke feared, there were indeed many risks.
Time would tell if the male would manage to come through or not.
Silently, Bellamy made his way to the archway between the living room and the kitchen, hovering, but not so close as to bother Clarke. With some silent conversation said through their eyes, the alpha female conveyed to her betas that she needed to be alone. Both Raven and Miller, the former giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze, the latter giving her a silent nod, left their alpha to open the package in peace.
He watched her take a seat back on the couch and hesitate with the package in her hands. It was clear that she was nervous to open it. Probably curious as to what it was, but also uncertain. This was a gift from her deceased father, something she likely cherished but also dreaded. Hell, if he got so much as a letter from his mother, he’d be in the exact same boat. Wanting those final words, but also hating the possibility of them.
He watched her continue to stare at the package in her hands, her thumbs almost caressing the outer edges. She sucked in a sharp breath before finally tearing it open. With silent tears streaming down her face, Clarke pulled out a carefully folded letter and her eyes twitched back and forth as she read the content within.
Fisting his hands at his sides, Bellamy forced himself to stay put. He wanted to comfort her, to be a constant presence by her side, but if she hadn’t wanted even her closest friends with her during this, then she certainly wouldn’t appreciate him invading her space. This was something she had wanted to do on her own, and he would give her what time and space she required.
He would wait until she came to him, if she came to him. This new dynamic between them was still in its infant phase and it would require more time for both of them to figure it all out.
About ten minutes later, Clarke abruptly stood to her feet, briefly looked in his direction, and headed for the door. He took that as his cue to follow her out.
Following the beacon of blonde hair through the shadows of the night, he continued after her until she stopped a few minutes out from the house. He didn’t approach right away, wanting to wait for her to dictate what happened next; if she just wanted his presence nearby, or if she wanted to talk.
Finally, what seemed like eons later, she twisted to face him. The tears had dried on her face, but her eyes remained red rimmed and swollen. She hadn’t bothered to put on shoes or a jacket either, but she didn’t appear cold, just tired. He had no idea what the letter contained, what it had made her relive or what precise emotions it had pulled from her.
“Bellamy, th-this letter that he…” Closing her eyes, her hands began to tremble. “For whatever reason, my father gave me a way out, a back up plan. There’s property Bellamy, property in my name. There’s a house too, big enough for my pack. Far enough away from my mother that she likely wouldn’t find us. I guess there’s a bank account too, with a lot of money for me, for us. My father, he said that only he, Marcus and David knew about all this. That he had been saving up for a long time.
“I just don’t–” She paused with the letter outstretched in one hand, the other wiping an anxious hand down the side of her face. “I don’t understand Bellamy. He’s been dead for over two years which means he’d been putting this together for a long time before then. How could he possibly know I’d one day need an escape route? And not only for me. The only reason I can think that he secretly put all of this together is if he knew something. If he knew he wouldn’t be around. And if he knew that, then why didn’t he protect himself better, why didn’t he get rid of my mother?”
Clarke wasn’t actually asking him for the answers, just trying to make sense of whatever her father had written in that letter. He wished he could tell her something, anything that might help, but he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t think there was anything he could say, but he tried anyway.
“I don’t know Clarke. Maybe he didn’t know, maybe he’d always planned for you to have a back-up plan.” Without knowing the contents of the letter, he couldn’t really try to rationalize why her father had done what he had.
“Here, you can read it if you’d like.” Tossing her arm out, she thrusted the letter almost into his chest. Reluctantly, he took it. Should he read it? Would Clarke regret sharing her father’s last words with him? “I don’t mind.”
Nodding, he unfolded the letter, and gently pressed on the crease. A word here and there had become slightly blurred from tiny wet dots sprinkling the page. Clarke’s tears. Bellamy swallowed, while keeping one eye on Clarke and the other focused on reading the letter.
My Darling Clarke,
I am so happy to be able to gift you this on your eighteenth birthday. It has been my sole pleasure to watch you grow and flourish into the woman you are today. I am so proud of who you have become. You will lead this pack wisely one day my darling and I hope that I am able to see that.
In the event that I am not, I have instructed Marcus and David to look out for you.
Your gift, my dearest, is what resides in this package. There is a bank account in your name with significant funds for both you and your pack, a set of keys and the deed for the house in the photo, and a piece of me in this letter. I want this to be a gift for you if ever you are in need. If ever you feel this is not the life you wish to have. I have always wanted the best for you and I know that I have not always given it to you. Let this be what makes up for the missing time and the mistakes I’ve made. Let this be a gift for you to start over. I have saved this money for you for a long time, wanting to present it to you as your trust fund for your eighteenth year. I want you to use it for yourself. I want you to use it for your friends. I want you to live Clarke. Whether that means leaving the pack and starting over or marrying a Trikru shifter and beginning an alliance years’ in the making. I want you to be happy always my sweet daughter.
The house in the picture is a place I bought under your name, a getaway just for you and those you choose to accompany you. The property is vast enough that you will be able to run to your heart’s content and never reach the end. The sight of the stars in the evening is more breathtaking than the sky was the last time we stargazed.
Let this be your escape if the pressures of leading become too vast. The house and the property are safe Clarke. Only Marcus, David and I know of it and as of the last time we spoke, the territory is yours to claim. I know life can be hard sometimes and that I might not always be here, but it is my wish that you remain safe and live the life that you want. Regardless of what life you choose to live.
You are one of the few things I got right in my life Clarke, and you are my most precious gem. No matter where life takes you, I will always be with you, and I will always love you more than anything else in this life and any other.
Remember to think with your heart Clarke, always. Logic is important, but love… love is key.
All my love,
Dad.
Having finished reading the letter, Bellamy decided to break the misery filled silence. He gently rested a hand on Clarke’s shoulder, before slowly twisting her to face him. Looking directly into her eyes, he told her what he thought of the letter. “Your father loved you Clarke. He clearly wanted the best for you. If he never saw his death coming or even if he did, he still would have done anything to make sure you had options and a choice. He was likely starting your trust fund from the moment you were in diapers.” Clarke released the smallest of smiles, and Bellamy took that as a good sign.
“I’m sure that if he knew anything about what Abigail had planned, he would have done everything in his power to stop it. He wouldn’t have ever made the choice to leave you alone with her. I wish I could take the pain of not knowing away, but unfortunately that’s not one of my super powers. Good looks and charm on the other hand…” He winked at her, attempting to rouse another one of her precious smiles.
If the roll of her eyes and slight sting of pain in his shoulder were any indication, then he’d gotten the reaction he’d hoped for.
“Careful Blake, keep all this friendly shit up and I might just believe you’re not the arrogant bastard you parade around as, but a big softy at heart.” He snorted in response as her eyes lit up with amusement.
“As long as my rivals keep believing the act, I think I’ll be alright.” Now it’s her turn to snort and he couldn’t have been happier to know that he’d managed to get her to joke around with him.
Gods, what was happening to him? This female was doing something to him. He had never once in his life cared about the feelings of any female other than his mother and sister. But somehow this female had weaseled her way in to claim a third spot. The Bellamy he’d been even a month ago would have laughed in his face, if he could see him now, doing whatever he could to cheer up a female he didn’t intend to sleep with.
Maybe this female was helping him grow up.
Looking over at her amused expression, he decided that whatever it was, he didn’t mind one bit.
***
*Clarke’s POV*
Waking up before the crack of dawn the following morning, Clarke came up with her plan. While Raven slept peacefully beside her, she silently crept out of the bed and made her way to the door. Ensuring it didn’t creek as she opened it, she slid into the hall. Using her exceptional hearing, she listened into the bedrooms and the floor downstairs.
At the end of the hallway, she heard the even breathing of both Bellamy and Roma, sleeping soundly. Clarke shook off some bothersome feeling and continued to listen. The room beside hers held the sleeping body of Octavia and from the room across from her came the light sounds of Murphy snoring away. That left Miller and Monroe who were out on patrol. With everyone fast asleep, she’d have a much easier time sneaking out of the house and hopefully back in before anyone noticed.
Once downstairs she entered the kitchen and opened the top drawer beside the fridge. Inside were the odds and ends anyone might find in the kitchen drawer holding random items like restaurant menus, pens, scissors and the recently deceased Dax’s cellphone. Borrowing the dead shifter’s phone, she called a cab, and then stuck the piece of plastic in her pocket. She was desperate enough to run her errands alone, but not stupid enough to go without any way of contacting her pack.
Within ten minutes the cab arrived and she was driving towards town.
On the drive, she went over the brief details, again and again. Wait here, for at least a night, then follow behind Marcus. Not the same trail. Other trackers could follow his trail back so they’d go a different route. Make the way to the meeting place. Find allies along the way, if they could. Meet Marcus. Get the pack out. Go to the house her father had left her. Meet Marcus there. Worry about her mother once they were settled.
The overview of her plan sounded simple, but in reality, there were hundreds of things that could go wrong, and dozens of obstacles that could force the plan to need to be changed. Obstacles such as reapers, or assassins. Even Finn. He was still an unknown. Her mother would grow impatient if the trackers continued to fail. Staying in one place, especially the same place Finn had discovered her, was asking for trouble.
She would discuss her plan with Bellamy and the others when they woke up.
As the taxi arrived at the post office, she gave the driver some of her precious cash, not as precious now that she apparently had a whole trust fund at her disposal, and told him she’d be right back.
This early in the morning, she was surprised to see other people waiting in line to pick up whatever letters and packages they’d been sent. Luckily, she didn’t have to wait in the line for very long before being handed a stack of letters. There had to be at least ten responses in her hands.
Thanking the clerk, she tried to get a handle on her nerves as she walked back to the taxi and instructed him to head back to the same address she’d just come from.
In her hands she held the responses to both her plea for the sanctuary of any of her pack and the proposals she’d sent. The anticipation of both not knowing if they would agree to help her, and the fear that they might ask for something she’d be unable to give in return, ate away at her.
Ripping the first letter open, her eyes scanned the page. The first pack who’d written back had refused both of her requests. They would neither shelter any of her pack members or agree to an alliance with her in return for her hand in marriage. Not a great start, but there were still nine other letters. No reason to panic yet. She hadn’t really expected the Trishanakru pack to accept her offer of marriage anyway. She was surprised they refused to offer sanctuary though.
Rolling her shoulders in an attempt to relax a little, Clarke proceeded with the next letter.
***
Lost in thought, her many responses to the other packs neatly stacked in a pile in front of her, was how Bellamy discovered her almost an hour later. She didn’t immediately hear him, as she tapped her pen against the table and finished her final letter. When she did, she briefly looked up, gave him a tiny smile and folded the letter.
“Looks like you got an early start,” Bellamy slowly strolled into the kitchen, and went straight for the coffee machine.
Humming in response, Clarke inserted the last letter into an envelope before sealing it.
“What’s all that?” Clarke didn’t need to look to know that Bellamy was staring at her with a pointed expression.
Carefully, she stacked all of her letters and put them in her jacket pocket before facing Bellamy. She’d destroyed the responses from the other packs earlier. She couldn’t risk any evidence being left behind, or anyone getting wind of what she planned to do. Not yet.
“These are my back-up plan of sorts.” Clarke followed Bellamy’s eyes as they honed in on her jacket, to the exact spot the letters now resided. She would remain calm, as if they were meaningless and hopefully he would leave the topic alone sooner.
“And what exactly is this back-up plan of sorts?” Bellamy’s forehead creased in suspicion as he poured himself a cup of coffee.
“Just something I probably won’t have to think about after today.” Lie. It was certainly a lie on her part. Her back-up plan was far from over. But she couldn’t have him thinking anything of it. She didn’t want him to pry or Gods forbid do something they’d both come to regret.
“Are you going to stop being so cryptic and tell me straight up what this plan is?” That damn crease in his forehead only grew, so she offered him what little scraps she could. Something to change the subject.
“It has nothing to do with you or anyone else for that matter, so you don’t need to worry,” Clarke answered in a falsely calm and flippant tone. Change the subject Griffin. “Are you going to make breakfast, or should I? Though I should warn you, I never was a good cook.”
“Clarke, what’s going on?” Bellamy’s eyes narrowed in on her and she didn’t like that look. She wanted to move on and he wasn’t letting her. Maybe if she just refused to answer any of his questions he’d drop it. On second thought, he was just as stubborn as her, so that was unlikely.
“Nothing. I promise.” Clarke found his gaze and stared right back, hoping and desperately trying to convey utter assurance that this was a trivial matter. She needed him to believe what those letters contained was inconsequential and of no importance. Otherwise he’d probably drive her up a wall with his prying and his refusal to let the issue go.
Damn her for taking so long. She hadn’t expected him to get up so early. She was supposed to have enough time to write all her responses and hide them before anyone saw.
“I thought we were trying the whole sharing thing, trying to be more open with one another.” Bellamy took a drink of his coffee, staring at her the whole time, eyebrow raised and an ‘I don’t believe you’ look in his eyes.
Her own eyes rolled in response.
“We are. This just doesn’t concern you or anyone else for that matter and I don’t want to talk about it anymore, so can we please just drop it?” The words rushed out of her in such a rush, she knew she hadn’t exactly conveyed her nonchalance that time.
Clarke bit her lip as she waited for him to demand to know exactly what she was up to.
“Fine.” Clarke opened her mouth to argue and immediately shut it. Fine? He’d said fine? She was shocked. She honestly thought he’d fight her on it, but here he was actually backing down for once.
“Just like that?” Shut your mouth Clarke! Her internal voice shouted. Don’t give him a chance to change his mind.
“Yes, fine.” Bellamy set his mug on the counter before pinning her with a self-assured gaze. He continued to stare as he resumed his favourite position, arms crossed against his chest and a fraction of that damn smirk on his face. They should really name that ‘the Bellamy’ since he did it so often.
“You’ll tell me when your ready.” Clarke had to force her mouth shut, otherwise it would be hanging on the floor right now. It was as if he’d changed overnight. She could appreciate the Bellamy who let things go and didn’t demand and push. She was also seriously considering only ever talking to him in the morning, since he seemed to be much more agreeable when the sun was just beginning to wake.
Refusing to let any more of her shock show, Clarke stood from her chair, eyes suspiciously on Bellamy. She was waiting for him to smirk, take it all back and then laugh at her for believing he would just let it go.
She decided to leave while she was ahead.
As she left the room, she waited for his demeanor to change, to hear that tell-tale growl and overwhelming pressure of his alpha vibes.
None ever came.
***
Bellamy’s POV
Bellamy knew something was up. He knew that the letters Clarke had attempted to distract him from were anything but nothing. The alpha within him demanded he discover all the female’s secrets, but he shut those thoughts down quickly. He was trying to build trust with Clarke. Going around demanding everything of her would get him nowhere. The Bellamy of the past would likely have commanded answers of her. The Bellamy he was now wanted her to tell him because she chose to, because she trusted him with the information.
He’d like to think he was changing from the alpha who demanded and threatened to one who requested and asked of his pack and those around him. He did not want to be the kind of alpha whose pack didn’t believe they could come to him. He knew he hadn’t ever been similar to those that had controlled and harmed Clarke’s pack, but every time the frustration at her secrecy rose within him, he couldn’t help but see Clarke in her room, frail and broken, telling him brief pieces of her story, fear and surrender stark in her eyes. He never wanted those he had sworn to protect to be afraid of him. Not ever.
Therefore, he would wait for her to come to him.
And if she never did, he would find a way to respect her choice.