Chapter Text
It was very difficult for you to describe your life now. So it was a blessing that literally no one asked, because you were the worst at coming up with quick verbal explanations on the spot when you weren't pretending to be someone else. If anyone noticed the changes in your routine, they kept it to themselves. Likely out of fear, and you could understand why.
You stared at the holoscreen, an almost glaze over your eyes that diminished anytime the story being played out on screen moved towards action over boring dialogue. Then back to another lull of plot. You didn't care much for the plot. The show was supposed to be historically accurate, but there was no way people back in those days did any of that shit being solely driven by something as weak as love . There was an unrealistic lack of anger, betrayal, or bitterness. It was numbing your mind to watch.
Behind you, the Reaper moved, causing your whole seat to shift. Given that he was your seat. He was leaning across the couch, trying somewhat to appear discreet about pulling the box of tissues closer. So you pretended not to notice, even though he had to tilt your entire body to nab the box. Even though you both knew well and good that he always cried at the really mushy bits. A secret you'd take to your grave. He was the only reason you put up with the show. You liked the action and Reaper liked the love story. It was one of the ways you spent downtime together.
Your relationship with Reaper had evolved very quickly, once he made it apparent that he was interested in you as more than a subordinate. Much more. You moved into his private quarters because he asked it of you. There was rarely a time that the two of you could be separated, aside from his council meetings and solo assignments. He took care of you now more than ever before, and you did your damndest to take care of him in return.
You gave him time to wipe his eyes and stuff the balled up tissue into his hoodie pocket before turning your head to see him. He tilted his head to look at you, too, and you could just barely make out the red of his irises behind the mask. Without words, you turned a little on his lap, feeling his grip on your hip tighten for just a moment before it relaxed again. You weren't trying to leave, you just wanted to cuddle in a little closer to his chest. Something he welcomed readily.
When you were alone like this, Reaper would shed his battle gear and weapons in favor of hoodies and sweatpants. Soft, comfortable clothes. It was a surprise at first, he was usually all hard edges and prickly personality. Until it was just the two of you, then he was the most comfortable seat in the room and you felt privileged to be the only person allowed to sit there. There was only one thing that never changed.
That mask.
You were, unarguably, the person he trusted the most in Talon. You'd yet to see him without it. To see his face. For you, the mask was his face. It greeted you when you woke, watched you during training. You kissed it when you were together. He never took it off. Never kissed you on the lips. Not even when he had you folded in half, pounding you passionately into your shared mattress until you both came apart at the seams.
You knew there was something underneath it. Cold lips would brush the back of your neck when you were still bleary-eyed from sleep. Sweet murmurs of affection you never expected to hear in your hellscape life warmed the hollow spaces in your heart. You lived for the way he sounded when he found peace inside of you. You never tried to take the mask off. Never intended to betray that trust.
"What?"
You realized he was still staring at you, the show playing in the background. You'd been staring back.
"Nothing," you murmured, turning even more into him. You pressed your face against his neck to kiss his clammy skin. A soft sound rumbled in his chest, cold hand slipping up the back of your shirt to be warmed against your skin. It took a lot to fight squirming away from the sensation.
"It's never nothing when you have that look on your face." His voice came out soft, a gentle tone you were slowly getting used to. His next words came out softer still. "Talk to me."
There was a moment of hesitation where the show's dialogue came into focus.
"--Would burn the oceans to bring her back into my arms.--"
"This is weird for me…" Reaper pulled you in tighter. You could feel him growing tense underneath you, so you were quick to explain yourself. Keeping your face firmly in his neck. "I mean, I'm not used to… You make me feel special?"
Slowly, he started to relax again, trailing his fingers soothingly down your spine.
"I care about you." The way he said it made it sound so simple.
"That's what's weird for me."
He made a sound of amusement and you felt that mask against your hair.
"Bad weird?"
You extracted your face from his skin, looking up at him again in the dim room.
"Good weird. ...I care about you, too."
Those words didn't even come close to describing the warmth he distilled inside of you every moment you were together, and you both knew that. But any other word, any other phrase, was far too big for either of you to shoulder just yet.
Again, silence fell between you. No more words were needed. Reaper blindly reached for the remote, turning the holoscreen off mid-monologue and covering you both in the dark of his windowless quarters. More than darkness, you could feel his shadows like a cool haze around your ankles, drifting up under your clothes to caress what was hidden from him. Distracting as it was, you were momentarily confused when something hard landed in your lap.
It was smooth in places, but cracked in others. Your fingers drifted over the surface of it curiously, unable to see anything yet. It was as your fingers slipped into the eye-holes that understanding dawned on you.
And that realization came with a pair of cool lips colliding against yours. You surrendered to the feeling without hesitation.
His lips were rough, scarred, but still somehow soft. They paired perfectly against yours, guiding the kiss with confidence. Teeth nipped carefully at the edges of your scar, making you smile and earning a slight smile in return. His tongue was warmer than you'd been expecting. Almost hot. And he kissed you like he had the rest of your life to slowly burn you in his embrace.
All together it felt like you'd finally made it to heaven.