Chapter Text
Once upon a time, Yoongi had a Dom.
She was beautiful, kind, and attentive, the best first Dom he could have possibly asked for. He met her through his counselor, who recommended Kang Yiseo’s BDSM sessions as an alternative to treat Yoongi’s profound trust issues. She said it could be good for him if he felt comfortable enough to try. So he thought about it and in the end, he gave it a go.
It was the best decision of his life.
He was able to work out a good amount of past trauma through her, through her sessions, and through their work together. Yiseo taught him about boundaries and consent; how his comfort and safety were always the priority; how talking before, during, and after sessions was paramount. So, in that sense, she also helped him to communicate better.
Their therapeutic meetings ended about a year or so after they started, with Yoongi’s schedule becoming increasingly unpredictable after the group won that first BBMA. Although it wasn’t arbitrary, but a conscious decision made by his counselor after a thorough evaluation.
The thing about Kang Yiseo though, was that she’s much more than just her profession.
Clever, funny, and incredibly down to earth, Yiseo was delightful to be around even out of her Dominatrix persona. So naturally, they became good friends too.
To preserve their friendship, they agreed not to have sessions after Yoongi’s therapeutic cycle was over. But they still met up sometimes, at least twice a year, to drink expensive whiskey Yoongi was now more than able to afford, and also to catch up with each other’s lives.
She always teased him, telling him he had to find himself a good partner who could take care of him properly, or else she’d have to teach the hypothetical person herself. He usually responded with something along the lines of, “Maybe noona could take care of me instead, save me the trouble,” to which she blushed or agreed - depending on the mood.
It was mostly an inside joke because they both knew their relationship wasn’t like that. They cared about each other deeply, she wanted the best for Yoongi and Yoongi would burn the world for her - then again, that’s what he’d do for any of his close friends.
So, after their professional relationship was over, Yoongi never felt the need to ask her for sessions. Sure, he missed it, and in recent times he could use the relief, but for him, submission came from a place of deep trust, and he was yet to experience that with someone who wasn’t Yiseo.
Or, that’s what he used to think.
After overhearing his friends having sex and talking about him in that way, and much to Yoongi’s dismay, there were things he couldn’t keep overlooking, like the constant presence of both Seokjin and Taehyung in his proverbial periphery, or how they seemed determined to take care of him in ways Yoongi didn’t even know he needed.
He was aware of his lack of self-care whenever he was under stress, of course he was, but after so many years dissecting his behavior in front of his counselor, they’d come to the conclusion that the best he could do was the bare minimum as to not collapse, which might seem not enough for some people but for Yoongi it was actually huge progress in comparison with his past self.
Everyone in the group knew this as well. Not in great detail, maybe, but they knew enough to only intervene when it was absolutely necessary. So when Seokjin and Taehyung started trying to take care of him more than usual, Yoongi didn’t think about it, his conditioned mind assuming he was probably doing a poor job of keeping himself alive, so his bandmates were acting accordingly.
It never occurred to him that they could be doing it for other reasons; in fact, he still deemed it pretty unlikely. He knew his friends inside and out, they’d lived in each other’s pockets for far too long for it to be any other way. So them taking care of him with such insistence, them talking about wanting him during sex, it could only mean they were sincere in their intentions - if a little sloppy in the execution.
Yoongi tended to be very closed off, but that wasn’t news. He also tended to be too self-reflective, too self-aware, and extremely self-conscious. Maybe his brain didn’t ruminate over big, transcendental questions like Namjoon’s did but he navel-gazed a fucking lot, and right now, staring at the ceiling of his room and unable to sleep, his friends’ words still bouncing back and forth in his head like echoes inside a cathedral, he’d come to a simple conclusion:
Yoongi wanted. He wanted so much he didn't even know how he managed to ignore that part of himself for so long.
He knew he was in love with them, that much was clear, but this want, this need of being taken care of by them was new to him. He hadn’t felt something like this in a long time either - or maybe ever. A craving so strong that made his skin feel thin and his heartbeat race.
Yoongi wanted this. He wanted them. And maybe, just maybe, Seokjin and Taehyung would be able to provide.
***
“Caregivers,” Seokjin said, his voice tense around the word, at the implication. “You want us to be your caregivers.”
Yoongi did his best not to wince at the surprise evident in Seokjin’s tone - because it was to be expected. After all, he’d dumped a whole lot of information on them without a warning, both about having overheard them during sex and about him being into submission and wanting them to include him in their scenes from time to time.
“Yeah, that’s what I want. If you… If you want,” he said, hating the way he hesitated when speaking about it. It was the best he could do at the moment, though. That and keep pushing through.
“Is that like, a Daddy Dom thing?” Taehyung asked, tilting his head to the side.
He looked more curious than stunned now, but it was hard to say. Yoongi tried not to dwell on the phrasing, or the way both Seokjin and Taehyung were sitting on the edge of his bed, looking about ready to stand and bolt out of the room.
“I mean, maybe? Although labels depend on many things.”
“Like what?”
“Like, I don’t know, personal preferences? Or kink negotiations.” That made Taehyung’s eyes go wide, not scared-looking but closer to it than he’d been during their conversation. Yoongi backtracked. “It doesn’t even have to be sexual, though,” he rushed to say, desperate to make his point across. “My last Dom, she… It took us several months to get there and that was only because I was also trying to work out some trauma that I… I mean, not that that’s what I’m asking of you, not at all. This is different, you… you guys are different. To me. You’re... different. Yeah.”
Yoongi shut up then, the shock in their faces enough to make his stomach clench with anxiety. Was he not explaining himself? Did he scare them? Objectively, he might have.
“Look, forget about what I just said, okay? All of it,” Yoongi blurted out after another excruciating moment of his friends’ silence. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”
“It’s not that!” Taehyung said, almost on top of Yoongi’s last word. “It’s just that we don’t- we’ve never-” He turned to Seokjin, as if looking for answers in him. “Hyung?”
“We just play around, Yoongichi,” Seokjin said, and he sounded apologetic. “I mean, I guess we could call it a dynamic of sorts, but the truth is, we’ve never been serious about it, never researched or anything beyond, I don’t know, lewd yaoi manga? A couple of E-rated fanfiction Jimin sent our way? We’re not experts. Hell! We’ve never even Naver-searched BDSM before, and what you’re asking is… It is...”
“Oh.”
Oh no.
Yoongi’s fingertips were numb and his face grew hot, not even embarrassed anymore but pretty fucking ashamed. How was he this stupid? What the fuck was wrong with him?
“Fuck, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed you- I should have asked first. Or not at all! Because you- Now you know I- Shit, this was a mistake. I am so sorry, I probably should go-”
“Yoongi,” Seokjin’s voice pierced through Yoongi’s foggy mind, bringing him back to the present.
He was halfway standing from the desk chair, one hand propped on the armrest, the other one trapped in Seokjin's grip. Seokjin’s eyes were seeking his with insistence, deep and pretty, calming, asking him to stay.
Yoongi sat back down.
“I’m sorry, hyung, both of you,” he said, not looking in their direction. “Please forget everything I said. I shouldn't have assumed. Sorry for overhearing you the other day, too. It won’t happen again.”
“Hey,” Seokjin said, brushing Yoongi’s chin with his fingertips so he would look him in the eye. “You have nothing to apologize for, you did nothing wrong.”
“I did, though. I should have hung up right away.”
“To be fair, I think it’s flattering that you didn’t,” Taehyung said. Yoongi’s eyes snapped up and found him shrugging, unashamed. “It means we sound as hot as we look, which is quite the compliment.”
“Yah, Kim Taehyung, don’t be tacky!” Seokjin half-shouted, but he was starting to laugh.
Taehyung grinned.
“It’s not tacky if it’s the truth,” he said, and then both he and Seokjin burst into laughter.
Yoongi was too overwhelmed to join them, but he could feel the anxiety seeping away at the sight. So he let himself bask in their presence, the easy way they had to make him feel better with something as simple as a bad joke and a shared fit of giggles.
They were good to him, even if they didn’t do it on purpose. They were good and that was enough.
“Alright, so about the caregiving thing,” Seokjin said once his laughter died down. Yoongi perked up, his senses on high alert again. “We’re not saying no to you, okay? This is just a…”
“A ‘let us think about it’,” Taehyung provided, nodding emphatically, dark curls bouncing along.
“Yes, that. Thank you, Taehyung-ah. This is us asking for some time to process your, hm... request? Is that an appropriate word to use here?”
“Request is a good word, I like it. Isn’t it a good word, Yoongi-hyung?”
“It is a good word, yes,” Yoongi said, even if he didn’t quite understand what Taehyung meant by that.
“Alright, so, request,” Seokjin said, his hand squeezing Yoongi’s hand slightly. Reassuring. “You requested something you need and we’re going to consider it. We’re going to really, truly think about it and do our research on the subject, and then…”
“Then we’ll get back to you on it,” Taehyung finished for him.
In his stunned state, Yoongi couldn't help but wonder if they had always finished each other’s sentences when they were together or if it was something more recent.
They were still looking at him as if waiting for an answer, though, which... he was supposed to give them, of course. Right. Yeah.
Communication.
“Okay.” Yoongi did his best not to avert his eyes or start picking at his nails. “Then I guess, thank you? For not rejecting me and my freak ass right away,” he said, hating himself a little for his phrasing but unable to keep the words inside.
He knew liking what he liked didn’t make it a freak, not when it was his therapist who suggested it in the first place. Then again, the outside world can only tell you something so many times until you start believing it.
“There’s nothing wrong about you wanting this with us, hyung, I promise there isn’t,” Taehyung said, leaning forward on the bed so he could take Yoongi’s free hand in his. “Thank you, for trusting us enough.”
“Thank you for trusting us,” Seokjin echoed, nodding. “Now who wants to go to my room and watch a definitely not lewd animation movie with me?” He said, backing off from Yoongi’s personal space and clapping once for effect. The non sequitur almost gave Yoongi whiplash.
“Me! Me!” Taehyung raised his free hand excitedly. “Oh, can we order in too? I feel like having jjajangmyeon.”
“Of course we can, hyung’s treat.”
“Yay!” Taehyung bounced in his seat excitedly, grinning big and eyes scrunched shut. He smacked his lips together as if he were tasting the jjajangmyeon already. But then his eyes flew open and his gaze fell on Yoongi again. It made Yoongi’s gut clench. “You’re coming with, right hyung?”
“Yes,” he said without even thinking about it, a warm feeling spreading from the center of his chest and to every limb of his body the second Taehyung grinned at him. “I kinda want fried chicken, though,” he added, just to be a brat.
“You can have that,” Seokjin said, staring at Yoongi with an intensity that wasn’t there before. Yoongi’s mouth went dry. “You can have anything you want, Yoongi-yah. Anything I can give you.”
And that… well, that was a hell of a statement.
***
“Someone pass me the popcorn, please, I can’t reach the bowl,” Taehyung said, the reverberation of his voice all too clear to Yoongi, from the way the young man was latched onto his side.
“Here you go, love. Leave some for hyung, though,” Seokjin said from Yoongi’s other side, placing the bowl on top of Yoongi’s knees. Yoongi shimmied so his back was flush against the headboard of Seokjin’s bed, making more than enough room for the bowl to rest on his lap without the risk of toppling over.
Taehyung dived right in, alternating between grabbing handfuls of it for himself and hand-feeding Yoongi two or three pieces at a time. Yoongi scrunched up his nose the first couple of times, pretending to dislike it, but the more Taehyung’s long, elegant fingers caught on Yoongi’s bottom lip, the more he realized it was in his best interest to just stay still and take the babying.
This was his life now. Being surrounded - figuratively and literally - by his friends’ attention. Cuddled, fed, and taken care of. In all honesty, and even if it wasn’t what Yoongi pictured in his mind when he half-confessed, he couldn't find it in himself to complain.
Seokjin and Taehyung weren’t dating, fucking, or even doming Yoongi though, not at all. But they made sure to spend a great deal of their spare time with him, together or in pairs. It should have been overwhelming or suffocating for someone as independent as Yoongi, but all it was, was comforting.
They cared for him, took care of him in their own way, and made him happier than he’d been in a long, long time. So what if they weren’t what Yoongi wanted at first? They were what Yoongi needed, and that was more than enough.
“Taehyung-ah, are you falling asleep again?” Yoongi asked about halfway through the movie.
It was some action blockbuster Seokjin picked on a streaming service, not bad but not good either, entertaining enough to keep Yoongi watching, but apparently too boring to keep Taehyung awake. They’d had a difficult schedule that day, so Yoongi didn’t blame the kid. However, teasing his cute dongsaengs was his God’s given right and he wouldn’t be a good hyung if he didn’t make use of such privilege.
Plus, pissed-off slash sleepy Taehyung was hella cute.
“‘m not, I’m aw’ke,” Taehyung said, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, obviously trying not to yawn. His head rested on Yoongi’s shoulder and he nuzzled closer to Yoongi’s neck. “So awake now. Super awake.”
“You could have told us you didn’t want to hang out with a bunch of old people, baby. It’s okay, we can take the heartbreak,” Seokjin said, obviously teasing too. Yoongi could feel Taehyung frowning and pouting against his neck.
“But I want to hang out with you. You just picked a boring movie,” Taehyung said, lifting his head enough to look at Seokjin.
Seokjin gasped in fake outrage. “Yah, I’ve never picked a boring movie in my entire life. I’m an Acting major! Tell him, Yoongichi.”
“Hyung’s right. He has a diploma,” Yoongi said, all business.
Taehyung pouted at him. “You’re so mean to me, hyung,” he said, eyes sad, practically a whine when he added, “Why are you so mean?”
It was all sorts of adorable, his hair ruffled from letting it dry naturally, his cheeks puffy from sleep, his lips rosy from the salty popcorn. Yoongi’s heart felt so full of love for this beautiful boy that he couldn’t not cup Taehyung’s face in his hands and kiss him right on the lips...
Then he realized what he had done, pulled back, and proceeded to panic.
“Oh my god, Tae, I’m so sorry,” Yoongi said, eyes wide, back flush against the headboard.
They were surrounding him, so he couldn’t get out of bed. He could elbow his way out, sure, but he didn’t want to do that. He didn’t want to cause more harm than he’d already caused by kissing his dongsaeng.
Oh, god, Yoongi kissed Taehyung.
Yoongi kissed Seokjin’s boyfriend.
“Hyung, I’m so fucking sorry, I didn’t- I couldn’t- I don’t know what I was thinking-”
But he couldn’t finish that sentence.
He couldn’t finish it because a plump pair of lips were in the way, slotted with his own, soft, salty, and insistent. Yoongi closed his eyes, exhaled, and then the lips pulled back.
“There. Now we’re even. Please stop panicking, Yoongi-yah.”
Seokjin’s hands were cupping Yoongi’s face, making Yoongi look him in the eye. His brow was creased, eyes full of uncertainty but still indescribably beautiful. Yoongi wanted to kiss him again. He nodded instead.
“Good.” Seokjin nodded in return. “There’s nothing to panic about here, okay? I promise we really want this. Taehyung-ah...” He reached blindly for Taehyung.
Yoongi didn’t have time to miss Seokjin’s hand on his cheek because it was immediately replaced by one of Taehyung’s, bigger than Seokjin’s, a little colder too, but equally as delicate on Yoongi’s skin. Yoongi placed his hand on top and leaned to the touch.
“Taehyung-ah, please tell Yoongi that we want this.”
“We want this,” Taehyung echoed, his eyes on Yoongi’s, his face so close that Yoongi could almost feel the words against his lips. “We want you.”
“We do,” Seokjin murmured against Yoongi’s temple. He pecked him there and it made Yoongi shiver. “Now can we smooch to make it official? I don’t think I can take one more second of not dating you both.”
Taehyung snickered at Seokjin’s eagerness and if Yoongi had been less dazed, he might have snickered as well. But he wasn't, so the next thing that got a reaction from him was Taehyung asking for permission to kiss him again.
Yoongi nodded, Taehyung straddled his thighs, and the evening became far more interesting than Yoongi could have ever hoped for.
***
“Hyung, are you staying late again?”
Yoongi blinked up at Taehyung, the phrase ‘deja vu’ crossing his mind as they stood in his studio’s doorway.
It was just like last time, Yoongi stressing over a song and Taehyung coming to check on him after everyone went home. It was also different, because last time Yoongi didn’t even know he was in love with Taehyung and now he not only was Taehyung’s boyfriend but they were both in a relationship with their hyung.
Weird, how some things could change so much in the span of a few months while others remained the same, like Taehyung’s concerned frown and Yoongi’s tendency to neglect himself when he was trying to meet an important deadline.
“Define late,” Yoongi said, also like last time. It made Taehyung’s frown soften a little, probably recognizing the phrase as well. It was as good a victory as any in Yoongi’s book.
“You know what I mean,” Taehyung said, flopping down on Yoongi’s couch while Yoongi took the desk chair.
“Yeah, I know,” Yoongi said, scratching under his chin, where his facemask was starting to itch from wearing it all day. “I might need another hour or so to call it a day.”
“You said that when Jin-hyung texted our group chat and that was three hours ago,” Taehyung pointed out.
“That’s why I said ‘or so’.” Taehyung deadpanned. “This is really important, Taehyung-ah. Big name, big money, big opportunity,” Yoongi explained. If it sounded like bullshit to his own ears, well, Taehyung didn’t need to know that. “I can’t mess this up.”
“You won’t,” Taehyung said, sounding so convinced of it, Yoongi was compelled to believe him.
“You don’t know that,” Yoongi said, as neutral as he could. “I’ve messed up before and it could happen again if I’m not careful.”
“Hyung…” Taehyung scooted closer, taking Yoongi’s hand in his. “That wasn’t your fault, you didn’t know.”
“I had the last word and I said it was okay, Taehyung-ah. I should have done more research, considered all the implications, asked around, something.”
“Well, I think it’s more on the company than on you. They should have provided better guidance, that’s literally their job.”
“We have artistic freedom, though. They don’t have the last word on my stuff, I do.”
“Yeah, but you’re also young. You can’t know everything all the time, that’s not how it works.”
“It is for us,” Yoongi insisted. “We’re expected to know better.”
“And that, right there, is the whole problem,” Taehyung said with an exasperated huff. It made Yoongi pause, take his boyfriend in. He looked more upset by the whole situation than Yoongi originally anticipated. It made Yoongi frown in concern.
“Taehyung-ah, is something wrong?”
Taehyung looked up at him, eyes round and questioning, lips parted as if ready to speak. But he didn’t say anything, just pursed his lips and pouted instead. It was really cute for Yoongi to witness, if a little worrying.
Yoongi waited for Taehyung to gather his thoughts, squeezing his hand in reassurance.
“Nothing’s wrong, not really,” Taehyung said eventually, eyes still cast down and away. “It’s just, sometimes, I wish we were allowed to make mistakes just like everyone else… I mean, don’t misunderstand, I’m infinitely grateful for our lives and the way we do things, but if there’s a downside to it, it’s having eyes on us all the time. When other people screw up, they get scolded by their parents, but when we screw up, it makes the headlines.”
Yoongi snorted, he couldn’t help himself. Taehyung scowled at him, which just made Yoongi want to laugh even more.
“You’re right,” he said instead, because he knew it was important for Taehyung to hear it. “I wish things were different too, but as they are, I’m still responsible for what I put out in the world. So, if a song I composed and placed in my mixtape ended up hurting people, I have to own up to that mistake and try to do better next time.”
“But you’re doing that already, hyung. You’re doing your best,” Taehyung said, releasing Yoongi’s hand to cup his cheek. “I’m not saying you shouldn’t push yourself further if you feel it isn’t enough, but what you do is good. You’re very good. You’re a… good boy?”
Yoongi’s breath hitched.
“What did you say?” He asked, eyes wide, heart racing.
Taehyung’s hand dropped from his cheek.
“I… I mean... hmm...”
“That’s-” Yoongi said, struggling to speak past his disconcert. “That’s not how you...” He paused, took a deep breath, then sought Taehyung’s eyes to ask, “Were you trying to Dom me?”
Taehyung’s cheeks tinted a faint maroon, his huge eyes directed at Yoongi. He blinked, then he smiled, a hand flying up to scratch the back of his neck in a sheepish gesture.
“I guess I was, maybe,” he said, grinning childishly as if that simple statement hadn’t just thrown the last of Yoongi’s sanity out of the fucking window. “Did it work?”
“I... I don’t…” Yoongi tried, without really knowing what he wanted to say. He shook his head and Taehyung’s grin faltered. It was a shame but also a relief - in a twisted sort of way that Yoongi didn’t have the mental capacity to overanalyze at the moment.
Why was he reacting like this to Taehyung calling him a good boy? The kid didn’t even say it in a special way; it was hesitant at best! Then why was Yoongi so affected? Why was he out of breath? Was he really that needy?
“Hyung, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” Taehyung said, yanking Yoongi out of his own head. Upset? He wasn’t upset. Shaken, maybe, but that wasn’t on Taehyung. “I’ll go if you want me to go, I’m sorry,” Taehyung continued, and it was then that Yoongi really looked at him again.
Taehyung’s demeanor had changed, from sheepishly mischievous to deeply apologetic. He looked sad too, and worried in a different way than before. Not worried about Yoongi but worried because of Yoongi.
Fuck.
“Oh, no, no, Taehyung-ah, hyung doesn’t want you to go, it’s fine,” Yoongi said, taking Taehyung’s hands back in his. “I’m fine.”
“But you didn’t look fine,” Taehyung said, pouting but visibly less upset, the hand-holding working like a calming charm both for him and for Yoongi.
“And how did I look?” Yoongi asked, running his thumbs gently over the back of Taehyung’s hand.
“Scared…” Taehyung said, and oh, yeah, that seemed like something Yoongi’s face would do when his whole self was on the verge of glitching.
“I wasn’t, I was just…” Yoongi paused, licking his lips, thinking of a good way to explain how he felt before. “It surprised me, that’s all,” he said. “I’m a little worn out from working so much and you just… caught me off guard.”
“Hm.” Taehyung nodded and his gaze fell on their joined hands, processing Yoongi’s words. “I guess it was really unexpected for you, so I understand. And I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to be.”
“But I am,” Taehyung said, looking up to seek out Yoongi’s eyes. “Because I really love you.”
Yoongi let himself smile at that, let himself feel as well. “I really love you too, Taehyung-ah.”
“I know,” Taehyung said, boxy smile back in full force. “Which is why you’re going to let me take you home now, so we can discuss this properly with our other boyfriend.”
“Oh, am I?” Yoongi asked, cocking an eyebrow. A mere formality really, given that they both knew Taehyung was right.
“Yup.” Taehyung nodded, confident. “You’re also gonna make out with me while we wait for our car to be ready,” he said, pulling Yoongi by the hands until he was sitting on Taehyung’s lap. “If it’s not too much trouble.”
“I don’t know,” Yoongi said, pretending to consider it, adoring Taehyung’s focus on his every word and action. “Why don’t we find out, hm?”
“Alright.” Taehyung nodded again, staring at Yoongi’s lips. “Let’s.”
***
“You want to try,” Yoongi said, in a carefully neutral tone that was both a reflection of his incredulity and a way to cover up for how much he wanted to freak out right now.
Seokjin was sitting crisscross in front of him, with Taehyung by his side. They were all sitting on Seokjin’s bed, forming a sort of circle, and Taehyung’s hand was holding Yoongi’s. It was soothing, grounding. Still-
“Are you sure?” He couldn’t help but ask.
“Of course,” Seokjin said. “We want to give you this, and well, also give it to ourselves.”
To this, Taehyung nodded, bouncing on the bed just from the force of it. It was cute. It almost made the knot in Yoongi’s stomach dissolve. Almost.
“But you said you didn’t work that way-”
“We said we hadn’t considered it before,” Seokjin interjected. “But we do now, love. We did our research, read all the blogs, asked around, the whole deal.”
“And you still want it?” Yoongi asked, a little high-pitched.
“Yes,” Taehyung replied, rather enthusiastically. “We want it, hyung. We told you we’d think about it and we did. Why do you sound so surprised?”
“I…” Yoongi took a deep breath. “I thought you said that to be polite. You know, to make me feel better.”
Seokjin and Taehyung looked genuinely concerned by Yoongi’s confession. Yoongi wanted the ground to open wide and swallow him whole.
“We wouldn’t lie to you, hyung,” Taehyung said, holding Yoongi’s hand with both of his now. “We want to give you what you need, whatever it is, anything at all.”
Yoongi let out a burst of nervous laughter. Taehyung’s statement was so much. Everything was so much with them, and Yoongi just-
“I just don’t want to ruin a good thing,” he said, hesitant, gaze falling to his lap, fixed on the way his thumbnail was digging into the seam of his sweats. “What we have right now, it’s good, I like it. And I know I said all that stuff about submission and dynamics but that was before I knew you wanted me as… something more. I don’t need that to be happy. You already make me very happy and that’s… Yeah.”
“Yoongi,” Seokjin called gently, placing a hand on his knee. “You know we love everything about you, right? We love you for you, and you enjoying power dynamics is also a part of you, so of course we’d want to try it.”
“We want to love you in every way you need,” Taehyung said. “We want to be good to you, and if that means learning new things, then we’ll do that because we love you, hyung.” He sought Yoongi’s eyes and Yoongi looked up for him. For them. “Please, let us love you this way too.”
Yoongi’s eyes stung all of a sudden, and he didn’t love it, but it was okay. It was okay to let himself feel in front of his boyfriends, and it was also okay to let them know what he was feeling.
So, when Seokjin’s thumb brushed Yoongi’s cheek to wipe away a stray tear, Yoongi leaned into the touch. Then he nodded, knowing Seokjin and Taehyung would know exactly what that meant.
* * *
Taehyung is a vision.
He’s on his back in front of Yoongi, his head first then the rest of him. His dark curls fanned out across the sheets, lips parted, and gaze glazed over in pleasure. His arms are thrown over his head and his hands are holding Yoongi’s, alternating between tightening the grip and letting go, timed perfectly with every thrust of Seokjin’s cock inside of him.
Taehyung’s legs are around Seokjin’s waist, crossed at the ankle to keep him close. Seokjin has an arm around Taehyung, the other one propped on the bed near Taehyung’s head. Their faces are close enough for them to be kissing or leaving marks on each other but they’re not, choosing to keep their eyes fixed on Yoongi while Yoongi stares right back from where he’s kneeling on the bed.
Yoongi’s wrists are tied so he can’t touch himself, not even when the tempo of the vibrator nestled against his prostate increases, making him want to whimper.
He doesn’t. He stays quiet. He’ll be good and they will reward him.
He can be good for them and he has proven it over and over during the months they’ve been doing this together. He can stay still and wait for them to touch him, wait for them to kiss him, wait for them to let him come.
He’s good, and they know it, they tell him, and he thrives on it.
The buzzing inside of him quickens as does the pace of Seokjin’s pounding, which makes Taehyung’s hands convulse in Yoongi's lap. Seokjin’s eyes flutter, not closed, never closed, but enough that he has to make a visible effort to keep his gaze on Yoongi. It means he’s close to coming, Yoongi knows this. And if he is, he’ll probably bring Taehyung with him too.
It’s how they are, synchronized and amazing, two meant to be together, with a third slowly earning his place alongside them. Yoongi is lucky to have them, and they say they’re lucky to have him too.
It’s okay because he knows he’s the luckiest of the three. It’s okay because he knows they love him back, and that’s enough.
Yoongi bites his lip to hold back a new sound, the vibrations against his prostate now pulsing and localized. It’s a new setting of the toy, it has to be, and it takes him by surprise but it’s not enough to break his determination. He resists until the pulsing lessens, then he allows himself a sigh of relief, not missing the way the corner of Seokjin’s eyes crinkle, a smug smirk curving his lips even when he’s so close to climaxing too.
“You like that, baby boy?” He asks Yoongi, hungry eyes drinking him in. Yoongi nods, preening at the endearment. “It’s a new setting we discovered this morning, Taehyungie thought you might enjoy it. Say thank you, hm?”
“Thank you, Taehyung-ah,” Yoongi says, brushing his knuckles against Taehyung’s palm. Taehyung grins in return, cheeks full and flushed, forehead beaded with sweat.
Ethereal and beautiful.
“You’re welcome, hyung. Anything for you,” he says, then his eyes flutter and Yoongi knows Seokjin is thrusting inside him again.
Seokjin’s hips snap hard against Taehyung’s ass, the sound echoing inside the quiet room, the strokes making Taehyung moan low and pretty. Seokjin’s hand sneaks between their bodies to jerk Taehyung off and Taehyung swears in response, his back arching, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as his blunt nails dig into the meat of Yoongi’s palm.
Yoongi bites his bottom lip again but he doesn’t utter a sound, letting Taehyung mark his skin with crescent moons that will fade come morning like they always do.
Yoongi always wishes they didn’t.
“Taehyung-ah, please look at him for me,” Seokjin says to Taehyung’s ear, loud enough for Yoongi to hear. “Look at him for both of us. Let him know how much we want him.”
A shiver runs down Yoongi’s spine when Taehyung’s eyes focus on him, lightning bolts going straight to his cock. He knows he’s not allowed to come before them, so he won’t, but he also knows he could come like this - untouched, looking into Taehyung’s eyes - and it wouldn’t even be the first time.
He breathes and empties his mind, letting himself lose focus of his own body sensations so he can hold Taehyung’s gaze through his orgasm. Seokjin’s face is tucked in the crook of Taehyung’s neck when they climax, but his hand flies up until it's touching Yoongi’s knee. It’s a simple gesture, seemingly insignificant yet not. Yoongi knows what it means and he’s grateful for it.
He’s grateful for them, for their love, for their kindness.
“Hyung, please don’t cry, you’re so good,” Taehyung says, affectionately, even if he sounds a little raw at the edges.
Seokjin’s head pops up from its hiding place and a smile curves his lips. It’s then that Yoongi feels the tears rolling down his cheeks, landing heavily on his lap and arms. He’s not just crying, he’s fucking bawling, and it feels so right because the two loves of his life are watching him do it with twin expressions of adoration.
They love him. Yoongi loves them back. He’s good for them, and they’re good to him. He’s lucky, so damn lucky.
They manhandle him until he’s sitting on the bed with his back against Seokjin’s chest, Seokjin’s legs bracketing Yoongi’s thighs while Taehyung is kneeling in front of them. Taehyung is smiling, his tanned skin glowing with a post-orgasmic shine that suits him so well. He takes Yoongi’s tied hands in his and starts kissing every centimeter of them, then hooks them around his head so Yoongi’s arms are resting on Taehyung's shoulders. He scoots even closer, pulling Yoongi by the waist until their chests are pressed almost flush.
Taehyung is a vision, and it makes Yoongi want to cry even more.
“Hi, hyung. I love you,” Taehyung says, placing his hands on Yoongi’s hips and rubbing gentle circles with his thumbs. “Have you been good for us?”
Yoongi blinks and then nods, causing more tears to roll down his face and fall into the abyss.
“He’s been so good for us,” Seokjin says, dropping a kiss on the shell of Yoongi’s ear. He didn’t notice Seokjin’s face was so close, his senses on high alert yet a little numb. He’s adrift, but they ground him. This is Yoongi’s favorite place to be. “He hasn’t touched himself once, not even after the new vibration setting kicked in,” Seokjin adds, nibbling on Yoongi’s earlobe.
“Yeah? Then he deserves a reward,” Taehyung says solemnly.
Seokjin’s hands replace Taehyung’s on Yoongi’s hips while Taehyung’s hands travel down Yoongi’s body, one to wrap around his cock and the other one pressing against his taint. A bolt of electricity courses through Yoongi’s entire self and he jolts in surprise. Taehyung smirks in return.
“Do you want to come, Yoongi-hyung? Do you want us to take care of you for being so good?”
Yoongi nods again, whimpering when Taehyung’s hand moves to his sensible cocktip and starts rubbing it in circles.
“You can be loud now, darling, we love hearing you,” Seokjin says to Yoongi’s ear, as his hands caress up and down Yoongi’s sides. It makes goosebumps rise on his skin. “Moan for us, baby boy. We love you.”
“We love you,” Taehyung echoes, his face dropping to Yoongi’s neck and licking a stripe. “You are so, so good for us and we love you.”
Reality becomes fuzzy after that, with Taehyung’s hands working his shaft and teasing his hole while Seokjin whispers sweet praise into his ear. The moment one of Taehyung’s fingers dips inside of him, Yoongi cries out, his orgasm hitting him without a warning, spreading like wildfire and burning him from the inside out.
Taehyung kisses him through it and Seokjin holds them both close, his lips grazing Yoongi’s shoulder and neck, and whichever expanse of Yoongi’s skin he can reach. It’s wonderful, to come down from his climax and find himself enveloped by their love. So Yoongi stays for as long as they will let him, reveling in the content quietude of his mind, nothing inside of him but peace and overflowing affection.
Eventually, they will make him get up, helping him to a hot bath or even carrying him - if he’s lucky. They will clean his body, soothe his sore wrists, massage his strained muscles, help him dress, and make sure he’s hydrated and nourished. Seokjin will pick a movie to watch, Taehyung will tuck him to bed, and then both of them will cuddle him and kiss him until Yoongi’s brain is ready to face the world again.
He might fall asleep before leaving this headspace, and that’s okay. He might want to cry again at some point, and that’s also okay. They know him enough to know what to do, and they love him enough to hold him through it too. He’s lucky. Yoongi is so goddamn lucky…
He’s loved and he loves.
He’s okay.