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Language:
English
Collections:
Yuletide 2011, Misses Clause 2011
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Published:
2011-12-19
Completed:
2012-05-04
Words:
3,054
Chapters:
2/2
Comments:
22
Kudos:
72
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22
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Gods versus Aliens

Chapter 2: Gods Versus Aliens [Podcast]

Summary:

It may be generally understood that the Greek gods were arrogant a******s and Artemis was really good at violence.

At the dawn of the Trojan War, Iphigenia was prepared to be a willing sacrifice to Arrow Rain Showering Artemis (she's so moon-struck dreamy). Penelope was ready to do the practical thing in Ithaca. Circe had vital experiments to complete. Vital! Penthesilea was just waiting for the war to start. Achilles was looking forward to some lovely encounters with heroes. Helen was taking a hot steamy bath.

Which is why the aliens really shouldn't have tried to shock and awe the earthlings by beaming up the Queens and stealing Artemis' sacrifice. Big mistake. Huge really.

Or, how Iphigenia escaped certain death and Helen found new opportunities.

Chapter Text

Length: 23:18, 11.19 Mb
Music Credit: Star Trek Original Series sounds and closing credits

podcast

Archived at Amplification here

Notes:

Circe and Penelope run around Mycenaean Greece and solving crimes from their flower boat. In between, hanging out in Ithaca. The suitors show up. They get turned into pigs. There are ham sandwiches. What it’s not cannibalism if they are now pigs. Okay, fine, they get to freely roam a paddock out back, as horses, while Circe works on her next genius invention in the tower that Penelope built for her, which is an amazing six stories tall. Penelope agreed to that once Circe showed her the designs for the crystal lifting platform. She does wish that Circe would stop scrying her a summons in Penelope's glass of wine, except she really doesn't, because it's always something interesting.

Iphigenia and Artemis are, of course, very happy together. Iphigenia never does turn back and it's a *little* awkward at family feasts, but what's Olympus without a little awkward. The hunting in the wilderness is simply splendid and wonderful and, okay, Iphigenia is really embarrassed when her mother pulls bear turning Artemis aside for a little chat, but it's all good.

While Achilles and Penthesilea have a delightful time fighting monsters on their way to Troy. It takes ten years, and the war is long over by the time they get there, because when the Greek fleet had shown up at Troy, King Priam had said, "Helen's not here, Paris went back to goat herding, let's have some celebratory games instead," and much to Agamemnon's disgust, everyone (meaning Odysseus convinced them) went for that. It still took Odysseus ten years to get home, because some things don't change.

Meanwhile, Helen was indeed the Queen of Everything, and there were parties and absolutely no one lost their head. Well, maybe Blerg, but you know how Blerg can't breathe a few pheromones without drunk communicating with everyone. But otherwise it was a golden age.

 

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