Chapter Text
Six months later.
Thor had tried so hard to be good. Not once had he visited Loki's new room at the other end of the keep, and not once had he sought him out in the library, or the star-gazing tower, or anywhere. For the most part, Thor had buried himself in practice, and had taken as many missions as he could.
His only contact with Loki had been at mealtimes, where they now sat on opposite ends of the table. It was good just to see him, even if they couldn't talk. It hurt too, but Thor was doing his very best to fight back the pain that came from being denied a desire he knew he shouldn't have in the first place.
Thor understood why they couldn't be together. Father had explained it loudly and simply, in a way meant to shame him. The sons of Odin don't fuck like mindless animals. Mother had explained it kindly and carefully, talking with him long into the night about his tangled feelings for Loki and the consequences their illicit encounter could have for both of them. But it was Loki's simple words that had the most meaning for Thor.
We're brothers. It's wrong.
If Loki didn't want to be his lover, then Thor would accept his wishes. They would remain brothers. But Thor would always love him. And from a glance across the table that spoke volumes—sometimes How are you?, and sometimes I miss you, and sometimes, You look like an idiot in that new armour,—Thor knew that Loki loved him too. Even if Loki's love for him was simply brotherly love, it was precious to Thor all the same.
One evening, Loki didn't come down to the family table. Nor did he join them the next night, or the night after that. Thor's heart was crushed at the thought that his brother might be avoiding him. When Loki didn't show up for months, Thor thought he would go insane from missing him. He resolved to find Loki and apologize again. He would grovel and beg—do whatever it took to salvage their relationship.
Thor searched all of Asgard, but not a trace of Loki could be found. But Thor knew his brother. Loki would not willingly leave his home for so long. At this point Thor began to suspect that all might not be well.
~~~
Thor stormed into his father's private audience chamber as soon as a visiting dignitary from Nidavellir had left.
"Where's Loki?" he shouted.
The All-father glared at him as though weighing whether to answer him or hit him across the face. Thor glared right back. If it came to blows, so be it.
"I sent him away," Odin finally answered.
This confirmed what Thor had suspected, but hearing it still shocked him. "Why?!"
Odin snorted derisively. "For fornicating with you, of course."
Thor shook his head. This was terribly wrong. "But it was I who practically forced myself on him. Why are you punishing him? Why not send me away?"
"Because you're needed here. You're the crown prince, and what's more, you're a fine son, despite your mistakes. You're much more valuable than he is."
Thor knew this was supposed to be meant as a kindness, but it hurt more than he could say to hear his father admit to something that Thor had scoffed at Loki for believing.
"How can you say such a thing? Loki is your son. He's my brother—"
"No he's not," Odin told him firmly.
What he explained next to Thor shook the foundations of his son’s world.
~~~
Thor raced through the woods towards the vale on the outskirts of Vanaheim. His mother had finally told him the truth of where Loki had been taken.
Jotun foundling. The words still echoed in his mind, though Thor could barely believe them. If Odin had thought they would diminish Loki's worth in his mind, he was badly mistaken. Nothing could change what Loki meant to him. He would have Loki in his life if it meant throwing the rest of his life away.
When he reached the vale, his heart sank to see the rough log dwelling to which Loki had been banished. It was so small and remote, with an overused baking oven, a stone well, and an outdoor privy set back near the woods. Thor didn't know how his father could relegate Loki to such a modest place. At the very least, he could have sent him to the court of Vanaheim, or even to one of the high houses of Alfheim.
Thor jumped off his horse and let the poor beast rest in the field. The sun had just set and the stars had begun to shine through the last of the fading daylight.
The door wasn't even locked. Thor threw it open and stepped into the house. The two servants who'd been sent with Loki jumped in surprise to see Thor's sudden arrival. Thor recognized Ygrid and a guard who usually patrolled the east wall.
And there was Loki, sitting on a chair near the fire, the book in his hands forgotten. "Thor? What are you...?"
Thor crossed the room as swiftly as he could, giving Loki just enough time to stand before he wrapped his arms around him and drew him close—as close as possible, in any case.
Thor drew back just a little, and looked down to see that Loki's stomach was rounded and protruding between them. His eyes widened with shock.
Jotun foundling. Jotun. Dimly, Thor remembered that frost giants could bear children as well as sire them.
Loki was pregnant. With his child. Odin hadn't dared tell him.
Thor looked to Loki, but Loki wouldn't lift his eyes. Thor could see the sadness that weighed heavily in them. Tears blurred the edge of his vision as Thor leaned close to kiss Loki's forehead.
"Could you please leave us alone for a moment? I need to talk to my brother," Thor told the servants.
When they hesitated, he gave them a murderous glare and put his hand to Mjolnir. The guard was no match for him- even if he was under orders to keep them apart, nothing and no one would keep Thor from Loki now.
The two servants finally backed down. Taking their cloaks to guard against the night's chill, they stepped quietly out of the house.
Still holding Loki close, Thor pressed their foreheads together, drinking in his brother's presence. He didn't know what to say. There was just too much.
"So it turns out I'm a girl after all. Sort of," said Loki, breaking the silence. His tone was light, but the tears gathering in his eyes had begun to slide down his cheeks. Thor did his best to wipe them away with his sleeve.
"Marry me?" Thor asked, his voice rough with emotion.
A smile lifted the edge of Loki's lips, but was too soon erased by sorrow. "We can't. Father said I can never return to Asgard with this... bastard."
"If we marry, our child won't be a bastard. You're carrying my heir." Thor paused at hearing the word out loud. It was wonderful and amazing, and absolutely terrifying at the same time. "He must let you go back."
"He won't. Oh Thor... he said I'm not your brother. I'm not even Aesir. I'm a frost giant." Loki turned away, his voice betraying not only grief, but fear and anger and a bewildered hopelessness that pierced Thor's heart.
Thor wrapped his arms around Loki from behind. "It doesn't matter. You are Loki, and you are perfect, and I won't return without you." He twined Loki's fingers together with his own. "Do... do you want to marry me? We're not brothers, and I know that hurts. But we can still be a family."
Loki leaned his head back against Thor. "I'd like that more than anything," he whispered. "I've missed you so much, Thor."
Thor hugged him tighter, then lowered his hands to feel Loki's swollen belly. "If Father doesn't let us return, we'll find somewhere else to go. Alfheim, maybe, or the halls of the Vanir. I can fight; you can work magic. Even if it means staying here and making a life in this humble place, we must never be parted again." Thor knew not the depths of his father's determination to keep them apart, but he meant every word.
He had traded having a brother for having a beloved spouse. If that meant living the life of an exile as opposed to the life of a prince, he would gladly make that trade as well.
Loki turned to Thor and searched his face. Seeing that his words were true and his will resolute, tears of joy slipped down Loki's cheeks to wash away the tears of pain, and he pulled Thor closer for a kiss.
They were still kissing when the maid ducked her head in. Neither one cared. Soon they would announce it for all to hear. Now that Thor knew he had Loki's heart, he would fight to make the world understand.
They would be married. They would be a family. He would never have to keep his desire hidden again.
And so it was.