Chapter Text
Her hands were tight around the steering wheel, so tight her knuckles started turning white. Her eyes were trained solely on the road as the rain plummeted down on the wind screen. She didn’t know where she was going, and it scared her more than he knew.
“So how does this work exactly?” he asked carefully.
Clarke’s eyes clouded with fear. “I don’t know. It just happens.” She muttered.
He nodded uncomfortably, looking through the windows into the dark. “What else do you know about banshees?”
She glanced at him, “You believe me now?” she stated, annoyed it had taken this long.
Bellamy shrugged, “You being a banshee would probably be the least bizarre thing that’s happened in this town”
Clarke sighed, her fingers subconsciously turning the wheel into a forest road. “Why don’t you believe me?” she asked tiredly.
Bellamy shook his head, “Clarke. You hear voices in your head, you haven’t slept in days, and you’ve tried to kill yourself. Sorry if I’m a little sceptical.”
Her hands tightened on the wheel, “I didn’t realise I was killing myself Bellamy. The voices took over. They told me to do it, I can’t remember what happened. The only thing I remember from that night is when I woke up in your loft.”
Bellamy ran his fingers through his hair, “Do you have any idea how that sounds?” he asked and she flinched.
Clarke was grasping at straws. To Bellamy it sounded like she was just trying to define something that to him seemed like insanity. It drove him crazy to watch her go crazy. To watch her crumble and lose her grasp on reality. It made his heart ache and his chest heave at the thought of ever losing her.
“No one ever believes me, no one cares!” she cried angrily.
“Hey!” Bellamy yelled, “Don’t you dare think that. I care.” He said, reaching for her hands and interlacing their fingers, “I’m on your side. The world is not against you.” He added. He placed the other hand on her cheek just as the car slowed to a soft halt. She looked back at him with a terrified look in her eyes. He stroked her cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear with tender fingers that made her forget. “I’m on your side. If you need anything, I’m here.”
Clarke frowned worriedly, “I’m scared Bellamy” she whispered quietly, her shaking fingers wrapped in his palm.
He frowned, a soft look in his eyes as he stroked his thumb across her cheek, “Why are you scared?”
She swallowed and looking into the dark, “Because we’re here.” She rasped.
Clarke wondered aimlessly through the woods, slowly, while Bellamy followed behind her, his hands dug deep in his pockets and his ears alert for any surrounding sounds. She trudged along the leaves, her feet stumbling along the mud.
Bellamy’s hand shot out in front of Clarke, his palm pushed her back as he stepped forward. “What is it?” she asked.
He sucked in a sharp breath, “I can smell him.”
Clarke swallowed and forced herself to keep moving through the cold. Her feet trudged through the mud until eventually she stopped, staring at the body ahead of her. Bellamy placed a hand on her back as she stepped forward slowly.
She wanted to be wrong, she so, so, wanted to be wrong.
She lowered herself to the ground and rolled him over, holding her breath as tears sting her eyes. She was expecting it to be him, and she wasn’t not wrong. She looked away as quickly as she could and held her hand over her mouth.
“You were right” he muttered.
Clarke reached forward and shut Finn’s eyes slowly. “I usually am” she commented.
She noticed the vivid scratches across his chest and his ripped shirt and she shook her head. She stood up, walking over to Bellamy.
“You’re the banshee.” He stated, letting out a deep breath, “What happens now?”
Clarke sighed softly, “Now, We find Monty.”
There was a rustle in the bushes and Bellamy’ neck snapped round to look at it while Clarke reached for the gun in the back of her jeans; she trained it at the bush and narrowed her eyes.
Bellamy frowned, “You’ve got a gun?” he asked carefully.
She frowned, “Yeah” she stated, “That a problem?”
Bellamy swallowed, his hands closing around the weapon, as though to stop her doing anything stupid. “Give me the gun Clarke.”
She swallowed in response and glared at him, “Why?”
He grimaced in a pained expression, “I don’t want you having one of those things at your disposal. Not in your condition.”
Clarke frowned, “What condition?”
Bellamy sighed in frustration, his hands fisting in his hair, “Come on Clarke, it’s like giving Vodka to an alcoholic. Eventually he’s going to cave.”
She yanked the gun back from him, “I’m not some hurt little girl Bellamy. I’m fine.”
He swallowed the lump in his throat. He couldn’t tell her he didn’t trust her. He couldn’t tell her to what extent he was constantly worried that one day he’d wake up and she’d be dead. She’d have killed herself to get rid of the voices incessantly roaming her head.
She was pale and frail and Bellamy constantly had images of her holding a gun and not being able to protect others, and even herself, and he constantly run scenarios in his head. In the end he resulted to following her, keeping a close eye on her.
“Okay.” he reluctantly agreed, “We’ll do it your way.”
Bellamy pointed to the map on the dining table.”We’ll enter through here” he stated, swiping his finger across the map.
Jasper raised an eyebrow, “Through the wall?” he asked and Bellamy felt Octavia roll her eyes as she stepped away from the window, twisting a knife in between her fingers.
Bellamy gave him a deadpan look, “There’s a front door, idiot” he stated.
“Why is he here?” Octavia asked in an annoyed tone and Jasper narrowed his eyes in her direction.
“Be nice” Bellamy warned half heartedly.
“You could always use the chimney” Murphy mocked from his seat on the spiral stairs, “As long as I’m not the one to wear the Santa suit”
Bellamy let out a long sigh and waved his hand, “Ignore him, he’s stroppy because he’s stuck here with Miller”
Miller’s neck snapped up from his phone, “I’m sorry, what? I’m stuck with him?” Miller shook his head, “That’s not going to happen”
Murphy stood up slowly, “I’m not exactly happy about it either, sunshine.” He sneered, taking a bite of his apple.
Miller pointed to him, “The last time I was in a room with him, he tried to kill me.” Bellamy sighed loudly.
Murphy held out his arms, “But I didn’t, did I? You’re still alive” he sneered, taking another bite of his apple.
“You killed my best friend” Miller growled and stepped forward but Bellamy stepped in front of him. Bellamy placed a hand on his shoulder, and widened his eyes.
“Don’t” he warned, “We need him.” He muttered quietly.
“He killed sterling” Miller hissed and before Bellamy could say anything, Murphy scoffed.
Murphy waved his hand disinterestedly, “Sterling would have died anyway, with the way he was walking, he had hours at best.” He stated.
Miller stepped around Bellamy just as his nails shot out, “You son of a-”
“Stop it!” Bellamy yelled, “Both of you. You-” he pointed to Murphy “shut your mouth. And you-” he pointed to Miller, “control your temper.”
“He’s a murderer” Miller seethed.
“Remind me, who it was that killed Roma?” Murphy asked sarcastically just as he threw his apple into the bin.
Miller grit his teeth. Roma was an accident. He and Octavia had been chained up in the safe of a bank and he had ravaged Roma to pieces because they’d been let loose, wildly on the full moon and torn each other to shreds. Miller was stronger.
Jasper sighed, leaning against the table, “Where’s Clarke?” he asked.
Bellamy scratched the back of his neck, “At school. Learning. Just like she should be.” He stated, rolling up the map.
Octavia frowned, launching a knife that narrowly missed Murphy and hit the central spiral of the stairs, “Does she even know this is happening?” she asked.
“Nope.” Bellamy shrugged, sliding the map into a tube and screwing the lid onto it.
Octavia crossed her arms as Miller stepped forward, “Why not?”
He sighed, “Because if she knows, then she’ll want to come. And she’s not coming.” Bellamy explained.
Octavia laughed and shook her head, “She’s going to kill you.”
He shrugged, “That’s if she finds out.”
Octavia rolled her eyes at her brother’s stupidity. The door slid open and slammed into the wall, so hard that the room shook. Clarke stood on the other side with a black shoulder bag around her shoulder. She stepped forward, a brewing anger in her eyes as she dropped her bag into her hand.
She stood on the other side of the loft while Bellamy looked back at her with his arms crossed. He took in a sharp breath. The silence seemed to go on for minutes and minutes and each second dragged out. Clarke’s chest heaved as she swung her bag around and launched it at him with a yell.
“What the fuck?” she screamed as he caught the bag before it hit him in the face.
“I’m guessing she found out” Octavia muttered as her, Miller and Jasper swerved around Clarke and out the front door.
Murphy sat on the stairs and rolled his eyes, “Stupid lover’s quarrels” he muttered as he turned around and walked up the stairs.
Bellamy let the bag drop to the floor as Clarke started to walk towards him, “You’re hypocrite Bellamy. You’re an asshole. You’re a liar and you’re completely full of shit.” She listed on her fingers as she approached him.
“You’re not coming.” He stated disinterestedly.
“The hell I’m not!” she bellowed, getting right up into his face.
“Princess” he whispered, staring at her with eyes full of hurt, “Go home.” He warned, his voice almost cracking.
Clarke tilted her head, and in a sarcastic tone she said; “And let you have all the fun?”
“I mean it” Bellamy forced strongly his hands gripping at her upper arms, “Turn around and go back to your mother.” Clarke pushed him off.
“Shut up Bellamy.” She hissed, turning around and fisting her hands in her hair.
She wondered across the room and Bellamy held the silence and he watched her stumble until she reached a bean that ran vertically through the middle of the room. She held onto it, slowly dropping to the floor beside it and leaning her back against it. She bent her legs and rested her elbows on her knees.
He cocked his head, “Clarke. Are you sure you can handle it?”
“What are you, my dad?” She raised an eyebrow and Bellamy shook his head.
“Someone has to be”
Clarke looked at the floor and in a soft voice said, “I’d rather it not be you”
“Clarke-”
“You need me.” She burst out, looking at him in the eyes, “You need what I know, you need what I have, and you need what I do. Anyway, you can keep a better eye on me if we’re all stuck in a car on our way to Mexico.”
Bellamy shook his head and grimaced, “I can't have you die while we’re down there.” Clarke clambered to her feet.
“Your worry warms my heart.” She sneered, wondering over to the table and leaning her hip against it, standing next to Bellamy with her arms crossed, while his were tucked into his pocket, staring at the door.
“What heart?” he mocked.
“Funny.” Clarke scoffed.
“Princess,” he started, kicking his feet in a nervous move, “I can’t lose you. If you die, I won’t be able to do this anymore. I need you. Not your skills, although they’ve got us out of some sticky situations. You. Just you. I need you to come back to me. I need this annoying blond who likes to get her way and is irritatingly moral. I can’t lose you.”
Clarke frowned, “I’m not yours Bellamy. You can’t lock me up in a cage like some rare bird and stare at me when you feel like it. I’m a leader, just like you.”
Bellamy smiled softly, “You’re not just a leader Clarke, you’re my anchor. If you die, I’m literally going to go off the rails.”
She stared at him, at the sincerity in his eyes, “I thought you were your own anchor.” She muttered.
He breathed a laugh, “Your anchor is normally the person who you care for the most, the person who keeps you grounded, someone you trust.”
Clarke shook her head, “I’m barely grounded.”
Bellamy sighed, “Princess. I want to trust you, and you want that too.” he held his face in his hands, stroking his thumb across her cheek, “But it looks like you’re losing your mind. I hurts to watch you struggle with your grasp on reality. It kills me. So as your friend, I’m asking you, are you okay?” He asked carefully, turning to face her.
His hands itched to clutch at the fabric of her shirt and pull her in for a hug. She looked down at the floor, “No.” She whispered quietly.
Bellamy sighed loudly, dropping his forehead against hers and closing his eyes. He took a deep breath and stepped away from her, “Then as a leader, I’m going to ask you to stay behind”
“What?” she snapped, grabbing onto his shirt, “You can’t be serious?”
Bellamy continued, “I’m going to post Miller outside your house to keep an eye on you while I’m gone and I’ll check in when I get back. But until then, you’re going to stay here.”
“You can’t leave me here” she almost begged.
“I’m sorry princess.” He reassured.
Clarke frowned worriedly, her hand absentmindedly reaching forward and tentatively placing her finger tips lightly over his cheek. The moment her cold fingers touched his warm cheek he flinched and is eyes twisted into a shade of deep shade of bloodlust red, before suddenly returning to brown.
Clarke stepped forward, “You promise you’ll come back alive?” she ordered.
He nodded, “I promise” and when Clarke leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his cheek, he realised that if he didn’t come back alive, he’d regret it more than she knew.
Mexico was hot, which wasn’t exactly unexpected, but jasper did not do well in the heat, as he liked to repeat.
“For fuck’s sake, Jasper, stop it!” Octavia cried from the back seat of Bellamy’s car. She shoved Jasper harshly to the side and he crashed into the window with a smack. When he peeled his cheek away there was a white mark where his sun cream had washed off. “Oh come on, you got it in my hair?” She cried, peeling white strands from her brown hair.
“I have a pale complexion!” he defended, squeezing a large blob into his palm, “I burn like an Irishman in the sun”
Octavia scoffed, “I’ll burn you in a second.” And with that she pushed his hand to smack into his face.
Jasper sighed, pulling his hand away to be met with Octavia and Bellamy’s booming laughs.
Raven raised a disbelieving eyebrow, “He’s one of the best you’ve got?” she asked
Bellamy shook his head, “Don’t be fooled. He may act like an idiot, but he’s actually an idiot.”
Octavia snickered while Jasper continued to rub cream over his nose. “How far are we?” Jasper asked, rubbing his hands together.
Raven glanced down at the map on her lap, “Not far, we should see the church soon.”
Jasper pointed between the chair, accidentally elbowing Bellamy in the face, “Is that it?” he asked.
Raven tilted her head and glanced into the bright sunlight, “Yeah. I think so.”
Bellamy stared at the moderately sized building. It had two towers that rose above it with pointed roofs and a grand entrance. Bellamy pursed his lips, “We’re here” he stated, pulling the car to a halt in front of it.
They all clambered out of the car, doors slamming loudly and raven went to the back of the car, opening the trunk. She had weapons laid out in rows and lines with tags on them and grenades in a separate bag.
“You sure you got enough guns?” Bellamy asked, frowning mockingly.
Raven tutted, “It would be better with Clarke here. She’s the expert hunter, not me.”
Bellamy glared at her, “She’s safe. That’s the important part.”
Raven frowned at him, “You knew she was a banshee and yet you treated her like she was going crazy.”
He crossed his arms, “I suspected. But I didn’t want it to be true.”
She shook her head, “She was going crazy, all she needed was your support Bellamy, and you treated her like some psycho.”
“Yeah well, what about you, where were you?” he cried.
Raven cocked her shot gun loudly with one hand while the other held onto a revolver. “That’s exactly my point. Where were any of us!” she yelled back and Bellamy had the decency to look ashamed.
Jasper and Octavia frowned worriedly from the other side of the car as Bellamy advanced towards raven with his finger pointed at her. “I would never let anything happen to her, all I want to do is make sure she’s safe and sane.”
Raven softened, “But by doing that you stop her being Clarke, you’re so afraid you’ll lose your anchor that you won’t let her do what she does best, help you.”
Bellamy ran his hand through his head, “Shit.” He muttered, “I did something stupid didn’t I?” he asked and Raven laughed.
“You fucked up mate.” She smirked but when she saw the worried look in his eyes, she sighed. “Look, she’ll forgive you. She needs an anchor as well, doesn’t she?”
All she needed was an anchor to keep her grounded.
The fight was bloody and long. Bellamy had scratched all across his chest and his face and he was getting weaker. The alpha he was fighting was strong and normally this was where Clarke would step in to save his ass.
Bellamy was weak, drained. He couldn’t stand up anymore. His knees gave way and he felt himself crumbling to the ground. The room was dark and musky and he’s pretty sure he was seeing red spots.
He fell onto the ground and sucked in a long breath. He’d broken a few ribs and they were piercing his lungs and he found it hard to concentrate. This is it. This is the end. He felt soft images slide before his eyes.
Blonde hair in swift curls that flew around the air as Clarke ran to the beach. Her smiling, her laughing and her looking at him. Her pressing a kiss on his cheek. Her saving his life, over and over again. Her nearly dying. Her crying in his arms. Her holding tightly onto him so she wouldn’t fall down.
“Clarke” He breathed quietly with a soft smile as the alpha approached him.
She hovered over him, her nails ready to attack and baring bloodied teeth. “Any last words?” she sneered.
There was a loud bang as the locked door slammed open and Clarke burst in. She had a shotgun in her hand and her hair tied into a pony tail. She lifted the shotgun to rest in her other hand with one finger on the trigger.
“Yeah. Get away from him, bitch.”
Clarke cocked the weapon and shot once. She cocked it again, each time taking a step forward and each time the alpha fell back. Bang. Bang. Bang. The alpha collapsed against the wall, clutching her shots and then Clarke sot one final round into her head.
Bellamy watched her with shock over his face as she stood still, watching the alpha die before her. Clarke lowered her gun and turned to Bellamy. She grinned, holding out her hand. Bellamy stared at it for a moment and then back at her.
He slipped his hand in hers and lifted himself up. They stood opposing each other as Bellamy dusted himself off. He took in a choky breath, “You’re late.” He stated
Clarke smirked, “Traffic was a nightmare.” She replied and Bellamy smiled and then winced.
Clarke frowned, “Can you turn?” she asked and Bellamy doubled over coughing, clutching his stomach. Clarke grabbed onto his arm to stop him falling.
“No.” He rasped, standing straight, “This whole building is laced with wolfs bane.”
Clarke pointed to the alpha, “How’d she turn?”
Bellamy waved is hand, “She’s half werewolf, she has a different tolerance”
Clarke checked the bullets in her gun and hissed. She threw it across the room and then reached to the back of her jeans and pulled out a berretta, she checked the bullets. Bellamy watched her as she reached into her ankle and pulled out a small revolver. She checked the bullets and hissed again, “Damn-it” She looked up at him, “I haven’t got one for you.” she stated just as Bellamy coughed again and plastered blood across the floor.
She growled, throwing is arm over her shoulder and wrapping her arm around his waist. She hoisted him up, “Looks like its princess to the rescue” she muttered.
“Wouldn’t have it any other way” he murmured quietly as Clarke limply carried him out the door.
“Miller!” she called. Footsteps were heard and Miller came round the corner behind them.
He took one look at Bellamy and jumped to attention, “Is there anyone behind us?” she asked.
Miller nodded, “I’ll take your rear. You go ahead.” He stated.
Clarke nodded and turned around. She lugged Bellamy along, his feet dragging as he continued to cough up blood. Clarke stumbled a few times and scolded herself each time. She carried him down the corridor just as a bezerker turned the corner. This may sound corny, but she had silver bullets, and they worked too.
She shot twice and dragged Bellamy around the corner. She could hear the carnage, the screams, the cries and the blood splattering against the wall. Clarke kicked open the entrance door and yelled, “Raven, He needs medical attention.”
Once out of the building, Raven had put Bellamy down in the boot of his car. Now that he wasn’t surrounded with wolfs bane, he could heal faster. Clarke had gone back to her car and sat in the open boot with her legs touching the desert floor.
“I thought I told you to stay home” Bellamy stated, approaching her carefully with his wounds not yet fully healed. He sat down next to her.
Clarke raised an eyebrow, “I thought I told you not to die.” Bellamy smirked.
“I’m sorry I made you stay back” he stated sincerely, Clarke waved a hand.
“So you should be. You alright?” she added, lifting his shirt partly up with her finger nail and inspecting the lace like cuts.
Bellamy felt the nail scratch his skin and he shivered, shrugging her off, “Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Good.” She smiled.
He reached forward and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as he gave her a short reassuring smile, “Are you okay?”
Clarke nodded, “Yeah.”
Bellamy looked down awkwardly at his feet, “And the voices?”
Clarke turned to look at him, crossing her legs and sighing loudly, “Oh, I’m controlling them.” She states like it’s no big deal.
“How?” he frowned.
Clarke smiled at him, “I found my anchor.”
Bellamy grinned leaning forward slowly and pressing his lips to hers. His fingers tangled in her hair and his mind breathing in her scent.
He tasted like fear and hope, and fear and hope tasted like a sweet was melting in her mouth and like honey was dripping down her throat. She felt like she was walking on clouds and like she could do anything. She felt invincible and unstoppable and undefeatable, she felt like everything was falling into place. She felt pins and sparks of electricity run up her spine. She was on fire, her veins filled with an intoxicating poison.
“You know, you smell like dirt” Bellamy muttered against her lips and Clarke laughed.
“You taste like blood, but you don't see me complaining" she smirked.