Chapter Text
Pain seared through the deep gash in the side of my head, leaving me half-blind as one of my eyes was covered in blood. The rest of my body wasn’t doing so hot either, but that was nothing compared to the horribly injured old man I cradled in my arms. One of his arms was wrapped around my shoulder while the other one desperately grasped at the gaping wound in his abdomen. With every passing second, he was growing more limp, losing consciousness quickly.
Giant crystals floating in the air crashed into each other, shattering and sending sharp blades flying in our direction. I dodged them as best as I could with a full-grown man in my arms. Not to mention the giant claw marks ripped into my chest.
I felt weak. Like my arms could give out any second. But I could see the ship just ahead of us. I had to keep pushing.
“Come on, Rick. Stay with me. We’re almost there.”
My voice was weak and raspy. Dehydration, stress, and lots of screaming made my throat feel like hell.
Rick groaned in pain. “Leave me, Y/n. It’s the only way.”
“Yeah, that’s gonna happen.”
Behind me, the massive creature we failed to kill burst from its hideaway, chomping down on a crystal before spotting us once again. Unluckily for it, I had just made it to the car and was placing Rick inside.
“I’m-I’m scared, Y/n. I can see the end.”
He whimpered. I said nothing, shutting him into the car and running to the other side to get us the hell away from that place.
Tears fell from Rick’s face alongside the blood falling from his matching head wound. His head fell to the side in shame, not wanting to look me in the eye.
“I’m a silly man. I’m a silly, small man, Y/n. I’m so sorry I got you into this.”
I looked up into the sky and saw the massive portal leading to our Earth. Narrowing my eyes, I shifted the ship into gear.
“Then how about I get us out of this?”
And she was off, racing towards the portal opening with everything she had left. The explosion of the planet was threatening to take us all down with it and the portal was closing.
Just a little more. Please. Come on, ship, you can do this.
Almost. Almost. And BANG!
We made it, but the closing of the portal nicked the back end of the ship. The jolt broke the steering wheel from the control panel and we were sent plummeting towards Earth. Panicking, I looked around for anything I could use to fix it. I shook Rick on the shoulder, but he was out cold.
Maybe this was it. This was how we finally went out. Struck down by an adventure that didn’t even make it on the ‘Top Ten Coolest’ list, but was possibly one of the most dangerous. It seemed a shame to go out like a falling star, but almost poetic as well. Too burning and too quick to hold, too lovely to be bought or sold. Rick and I were fire on fire and it seemed appropriate for us to die in a ball of flames.
But as we got closer and closer to the atmosphere, I realized, “Fuck this.”
Grabbing the dislocated steering wheel from the ground, I shoved it back into the panel, successfully bringing the ship back to life just long enough to pull up from impending doom. We were just above the ocean and I figured it was our best shot at not exploding on impact. I tried my best for us to slowly sink into the water, but it didn’t really check out. We bounced off the surface like a skipping pebble, breaking the glass covering and splashing us in the process.
By the time the ship stopped, she was completely dead and both Rick and I were soaked alongside the entire interior of the ship. But we were alive. The salt was burning our wounds, and we were stranded in the middle of the ocean, but we were alive.
The burning was enough to wake Rick up so he groaned beside me, holding his head and blinking to try and focus on our surroundings.
“Where are we?”
“We’re home, Rick,” I sighed. “I landed us in the ocean.”
Rick perked up immediately. “The ocean?! The ocean on Earth?!”
“Yes, Rick, that’s what I just said. You’re welcome by the way.”
“Oh shit. Holy shit. We have to go. We have to go right fucking now.”
“What? What’s going on?”
“You touched the ocean, Y/n!”
“What’s the big deal?”
My question was answered when the water next to us started to bubble and a giant, colorful seashell rose from the ocean. It opened to reveal a tall man in a speedo, holding a trident. He looked like a fish with sea-green eyes and slicked-back hair. He also wore part of a pant leg and one sleeve. I probably would’ve laughed at him if he didn’t look so pissed.
“Richard!” The man exclaimed. “You have desecrated the sacred treaty betwixt land and sea. Now face the wrath of your once and eternal foe: Mr. Nimbus!”
Richard? I don’t think I like that.
“Sorry...Who is this guy?” I asked Rick.
Rich sighed. “My nemesis.”
“Your what?”
“My fucking nemesis, okay?!” He crossed his arms and pouted in his seat.
“Okay...but what was his name again?”
“I am Mr. Nimbus!” The fish man shouted.
“He’s gonna say that a lot.” Rick huffed.
~~~
“W-Wait, so who’s coming over again?” Morty asked from beside me. Both of us were watching Rick scramble to set up the dining table from the kitchen doorway. I’d honestly never seen him this nervous or scatterbrained and it was very entertaining.
“He said his nemesis.”
“Rick has a nemesis?”
“I guess. Has he mentioned him before?”
“I was gonna ask you. First I’m hearing of it. Is he like a magic guy? Rick's science and he’s magic?”
“He’s kind of like a fish. I don’t know. He looked like a male stripper to me.”
“He's not a fish or a stripper, Y/n,” Rick added. “He’s Mr. Nimbus. He's king of the ocean and he's a piece of shit.”
Rick hit the throne he was pushing against the table, knocking over the glass of wine on the table and staining the tablecloth. He cursed in an alien language.
“Are you happy, Y/n? Are you happy you touched the ocean?”
Yeah, sure, forget about the fact I saved our lives today. Again .
“Hey, don’t get upset with me. You’re the one who failed to mention this ‘nemesis’ of yours.”
Rick didn’t like that. “Are you shitting me? You’re saying this is my fault? It’s my fault you landed the ship in the fucking ocean?!”
“Well, I would have avoided it if I had known you had some kind of weird contract saying you couldn’t touch the fucking ocean!”
“It’s not a contract, it’s a treaty, and it’s gonna-“ Rick stopped himself, taking a deep breath and returning to the table to clean up the spill.
“He's gonna be here any minute. Just help me smooth this over or this guy's gonna become more trouble than he's worth. You too, Morty.”
Morty stiffened next to me, grabbing his phone out of his pocket. I knew he finally had plans with Jessica and I wasn’t about to let Rick mess them up for him. I placed my hand on his shoulder and sent him a reassuring wink.
“Rick, Morty has plans tonight, but I’ll be here to help you out with all this crazy shit.”
He scoffed, “Oh, trust me, after that ocean fuck up, you don't get to do anything crazy.”
“What?”
“While I bullshit my way through this peace summit treaty with Nimbus, Summer is gonna dive into the Marianas Trench to recover the forbidden shell that gives him his power because Summer can be trusted.”
Rick’s words hurt, but what hurt more was the smug look Summer shot me as she rounded the corner wearing a scuba outfit. My scuba outfit from when Rick, Morty, and I went to Atlantis.
“Let’s lick tits.”
Rick was the one that deserved my wrath, but something about the way Summer looked at me made my blood simmer. I wasn’t able to dwell on it, however, since Rick was dragging me away to the garage, telling me I was on booze duty.
“Okay, Nimbus only drinks the good shit. So just toss this whale-ass ocean wine in here and age it up a few centuries.”
He opened a portal that led to a dimension where time moved much faster than in ours. Narnia rules, basically.
I rolled my eyes, as I did a lot around this man.
“What the fuck is the deal with this guy, Rick? If he is so important and so terrifying to you, why haven’t you mentioned him before? I could have easily avoided the ocean if I had fucking known about this dipshit!”
“Y/n now is really not the time for one of your self-righteous, nagging girlfriend lectures. Just help me get through this evening with this dumbass and I might think about forgiving you for touching the ocean.”
I wanted to add more to the argument, but Rick dismissed me when we heard the sound of horns coming our way, signaling Nimbus’ arrival. He told me to hurry up with the wine and meet him out front.
Nimbus arrived on a big throne that looked like a parade float. It was pulled by dolphins and glided across a moving river. A bit too flashy for my taste, but to each his own. The fish man was wearing a cape this time, but it did little to cover his scrawny, scaly body. He smirked at Rick then fixated on me for an uncomfortable amount of time while he walked towards us.
“Nimbus,” Rick huffed.
“Richard,” Nimbus mused. “You look like ass.”
He was clearly very proud of himself for the comment - even if it was weak. But it seemed to do the trick since Rick squared his shoulders and clenched his fists. Weird how this guy got under his skin so much. He seriously did not look like much. King of the sea or not.
Nimbus then shifted his yellow eyes towards me, his pupils dilating and his smirk growing. He bit his lip like a middle school girl trying to capture the attention of a high school boy.
Oh, dear.
“And who might this delectable little thing be?” I told him my name and he took a few steps towards me, taking my hand and bringing it to his scaly mouth. “The pleasure is all mine, my aqua flower.”
He places one slimy kiss. Then another. And another until he was halfway up my arm.
Ew ew ew. No. Please stop. You stink, dude.
“Okay, that’s enough of that,” Rick stood between us, ripping my arm from Nimbus’ reach. Thank the gods. He stood in front of me, pushing me behind him to shield me from Nimbus’ wandering gaze. “Let’s get this over with.”
“Not so fast, Richard. I plan on enjoying this night and leaving completely satisfied. There will be no rushing the arrangements.”
“God, fuck, whatever, just get your barely covered ass in here!”
Rick stomped inside with Nimbus not far behind - he made sure to pinch my ass while Rick wasn’t looking.
I hung my head in disbelief and aggravation.
Why didn’t I become an astronomer?
~~~
After a couple of hours, several bottles of wine, and a lot of uncomfortable, lust-filled looks from Nimbus, they had settled everything and were ready to sign the enormous scroll.
“Mm, I do love to sign upon the dotted line,” Nimbus stuck his pen inside his squid friend, soaking ink into it. “Shall we?”
“Jesus Christ, yes.” Rick had been over it before it began.
“And who is your witness? My witness is the squid.”
Rick and I made brief eye contact, mentally asking the same question.
“Uh, dipshit, I think it’s pretty obvious who my witness it.”
Nimbus eyed me with no less desire in his eyes, but a lot more humor added on. I watched him choke back a laugh.
“Richard, while I applaud your ability to get any woman you desire, even in your ancient state, I do not think our harlots count as witnesses.”
“Oh, but the squid counts?!” I shouted. I probably should have defended myself against the title of ‘harlot’ being slapped on me, but the squid thing seemed a little more ridiculous at the moment.
Rick took a deep breath through his nostrils, trying not to jump across the table and strangle the life out of him. “She’s not my harlot, Nimbus, she’s my assistant and if there has to be a witness, she’s gonna have to pass.”
Nimbus pondered for a moment, looking in between us like he was searching for secrets. “While I absolutely do not believe you two have not fucked, I think you are going to need a stronger witness, Richard. Or perhaps you do not have anyone with whom you can trust your life.”
“FUCKING HELL!” I yelled, standing up from my seat. “If it can’t be me, I’ll go find Morty to sign the damn thing!”
“Y/n,” Rick warned. “Sit your ass down.”
“Yes, do listen to your master, darling. I would hate to see you punished in a way you wouldn’t be squirming for.”
He grinned a snakey grin, stripping me of everything with his gaze. I knew there was little to no imagination in his mind or his vocabulary. Both of them were making my blood boil.
I glared daggers at Rick, “I am not a fucking dog,” then Nimbus, “and he is not my fucking master. Now, can I just sign the damn contract so I can go home, or do I need to shove that pen so far up your ass you taste ink for the next two weeks?”
Nimbus narrowed his eyes at me, seemingly speechless for the first time that evening. I couldn’t tell if he was going to summon a wave to drown me or throw the squid to make him finish the job. What came out of his mouth next was a surprise for us all.
“Richard, I’ve decided to add something else to the contract.”
Rick and I both looked at him inquisitively.
“I want her. It is clear she needs a far tighter grip on her leash and I think she would make a fine addition to my collection .”
There were so many things I wanted to say, but it seemed that Rick was destined to beat me to it.
“Listen you Red Lobster mother fucker. If you think for one second that I would let you take what belongs to me, or even breath your filth in her direction, I will drain the ocean so fast, you won’t even be able to take a piss without drying up like the Sahara desert.”
Ah, there’s the possessive jerk I know and love.
“Richard,” Nimbus mumbled. “You demonstrate a great lack of control around this human. One of which I have never seen from you before. Could it be that the great Richard Daniel Sanchez III has fallen in love once again? And with someone so hot-headed and breakable.”
“Insult her again and my hand will be the last thing you ever see before I rip out your brain from your skull.”
Nimbus looked utterly offended and stomped off towards the door. “That is the last time I will tolerate a threat from you, Richard! Very well. If you seek war with Atlantis, you shall have it.” He opened the door and shouted to his servants, “Prepare my exit parade!” then turned back to us. “Say goodbye to your precious dry land! For soon it will be wet! Wet!”
Rick followed him to the door, eager to watch him leave, but not ready to let him have the last word. “Yeah, global warming is already doing that, asshole. But sure, yeah, go for it. Make us slightly more wet!”
Nimbus turned back towards his nemesis. “Am I a joke to you?”
“Yes you are a fucking joke,” Rick laughed. “You fucking suck. You’ve always sucked. You know why we haven't fought in years? 'Cause, you're an embarrassment to me and I don't need you anymore. I don't need anybody. All I do is get laid and 69 Nintendos, bro. Every day!”
“Or maybe you hate me because I am the only man to see how far you have fallen. I used to fear you. Respect you. Now all that's left is pity. For a sad, drunk shell of a man who has grown so soft as to fall in love with his harlot.”
“I fucking warned you, mother fucker!” Rick launched himself at Nimbus and just as I was about to jump into action, I heard a loud cry from the garage.
“Rick! Y/n! Help!”
Everyone froze. Rick and I looked at each other with equal amounts of worry, nodding to each other about what to do next. I took off for the garage and Rick was hot on my tail. Nimbus tried to yell after us, but we ignored him.
We opened the garage door to find Morty and Jessica halfway through the wine portal, being pulled in by a huge robotic arm.
“Jesus, Morty,” Rick scolded. We both grabbed parts of the arm and tried to pry it off them. “Can’t you go one day without-”
Rick didn’t get to finish seeing how smaller robot arms shot out of the portal, grabbed our legs, and pulled all of us in. Suddenly we found ourselves in a futuristic, cyberpunk techno dimension - very different from the quiet green field I had seen earlier that evening.
“What did you do, Morty?” I asked, aggravated.
“I fucked it up, okay?!”
“It’s okay, Morty. It’s what you do,” Rick remarked. “Now let me Deus Ex Machina this shit and let's go home.”
Rick tried to fire at the robotic birds with his arm cannon, but all it did was bounce off of them. They retaliated with a beam of their own that sucked out every single weapon of Rick’s, tearing open his skin, destroying his clothes, and leaving him with nothing but the top part of his pants.
“Oh, well that’s cool.”
He turned around and tried to herd all of us back to the portal, but metal walls shot up out of the ground, caging us where we were. Dozens more robots surrounded us, all pointing weapons in our direction.
“Okay,” I sighed. “We’re definitely fucked.”
Just before they all launched an attack, we heard a distant blowing of horns. And just as dramatically as he arrived earlier, Nimbus popped up on top of the wall from a wave of water.
“Did you think I would let you die alone, Richard?”
And with the smuggest look on his face, he began thrusting his pelvis in the air, signaling a giant wave to get rid of all the robots. Plus making giant whales fall from the sky to take out some of the sentries.
He bent down and offered his hand to Rick. Rick seemed to consider it for a moment but ultimately took it. Nimbus hoisted all of us up to him, having us hold onto him in any way we could.
He shouted, “I am Mr. Nimbus!” before diving through the wave, through the portal, and back into the garage.
We were all soaked, cold, and relieved to be alive. Nimbus coming to our rescue was completely unexpected, but it was a nice surprise. Even if he did call me a harlot and try to claim me as property.
“Fighting by your side again, Richard,” Nimbus mused.
“It was...,” Rick scratched the back of his head. “Yeah.”
“Then there is no treaty because there is no war.”
“Aw, Nimbus. That’s really chill of you man.”
“Richard, before you were my greatest enemy, you were my only friend. I always wished for you to find happiness and now it seems you have.”
Nimbus looked at me, giving me a small nod and a genuine smile. I offered both back to him.
“Keep a hold of that one, Richard. No one else in this universe will put up with you as much as she does. Perhaps one day we can-”
Nimbus was cut off by Summer bursting through the door. “Grandpa, I got the shell!”
“Fuck!” Rick and I screamed in unison.
“You son of a bitch! BETRAYAL!” Nimbus shouted, grabbing Rick by the hair and starting to beat the shit out of him. Rick started yelling at both of his grandkids to give him weapons or do something.
I just sighed, hanging my head towards the ceiling.
I have to do everything around here.
I walked over to Summer, aggressively taking the shell from her hands - also shooting her the dirtiest look I could muster in return for our exchange earlier. I threw the shell as hard as I could on the ground and it shattered. Nimbus wailed in pain, halting his assault on Rick. I took the opportunity to round-house kick the mother fucker in the face then in the ass and finally, in the dick. He doubled over, squealing and gasping for air.
“Lady Y/n, please, mercy,” he begged, weakly.
Taking out my portal gun, I charted an opening for the Red Sea. “Fuck off, Nimbus. Don’t come near Rick again or I’ll cut off the true source of all your power.”
And with that, I opened the portal underneath him and he was gone.
“I hope you’re proud of yourself, Summer. You just cost Rick a friend.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?! You’re such a-”
“Morty, Summer, fuck off,” Rick coughed. He struggled to stand until I leaned down and helped him, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and hoisting him up. Morty left silently and Summer stormed off with a big ‘humph’.
I helped Rick to his chair and retrieved one of his inventions that healed wounds and grew back skin. He was completely fine in a matter of seconds. It was truly amazing what science could do when you knew how to use it properly.
“Say what you want about me touching the ocean, but I wouldn’t have done that .”
Rick didn’t say anything - he was looking just past me, staring off into space.
“I’m sorry, Rick.”
“For what?” He gruffed.
“Well, it sounded like you and Nimbus were close at one point. It’s too bad you couldn’t have that again with him. He was weird and gross, but under the right context, he could probably be fun.”
Rick thought for a moment, but his brow furrowed. “He’s a dick. I don’t need him. I don’t need anyone.”
As soon as the words came out of his mouth, his face softened. He looked at me with kindness.
“Accept you,” he admitted, very softly.
Smiling and beaming with pride, I walked over to him, sitting in his lap and wrapping my arms around him. I buried my face into his neck and sighed lovingly.
“Damn straight you do.”