Chapter Text
When Miller wakes up, Harper is still curled in against him. But he looks up and sees that she is holding Jasper’s hand, and that Monty has curled himself around his best friend. Monty’s sleeping expression hits him in the stomach somehow - he looks so innocent and at peace. We’re just kids, he thinks. But we’re not kids anymore. Harper shifts in her sleep, making a discontented noise, so he moves himself away carefully, trying not to wake her. He steps over her legs, and Jaspers, and ducks through the tent into the morning.
The sun is already up, and he can see a couple of Arkers going about their business, but not enough, he thinks, for the time of day. The tent is on the outskirts of the fallen station’s sleeping areas, furthest away from the med bay. Last night they’d all eaten protein packs from the Ark for dinner, and he craved meat again. But, of course, they weren’t allowed to hunt yet. Just rest and take it easy for a night. Miller shook his head. Aside from the fact they were now living within walking distance of not one, but two enemies, he didn’t think he’d ever be okay ‘taking it easy’ for a while. And he really wanted meat.
He shifted, hearing a noise behind him, and saw Monty exiting the tent. He smiled apologetically.
“Sorry if I woke you,” he offered. Monty shrugs.
“I’m a light sleeper. But it’s okay. It’s later than usual for us anyway. Where is everyone?” Monty asked. Miller shrugged.
“Don’t know. I need to find Bellamy and Clarke though. Harper said something last night that made me think… what do you think the Mountain Men are going to do now?” Miller asks. Monty pales slightly.
“Shit,” is all he says. “We need to find Bellamy and Clarke.” For all that this is a serious problem that needs to be addressed, there is something in the way that Monty responds that makes him feel like it’s going to be okay. That instant feeling of solidarity. He tries to cover the fond smile threatening his face with a frown and a nod, but he’s not sure it worked very well.
“Where do you think they’ll be?” Miller asks. This isn’t the Drop Ship, or the Ark, or anywhere familiar, and he looks around uneasily. For all that Mount Weather had flaws, at least they’d given them a map. Monty thought about it for a moment.
“A couple of us were spending the night in the med bay,” Monty says. “And where our people are hurt, there are our fearless leaders.” Miller nods once, and they head off towards the med bay together.
“Are you really okay? About Clarke and Bellamy?” Monty asks gently. Miller takes a moment to really think about it. He’s brushed a lot of it off, and sectioned it away, but it probably bears thinking about properly.
“I thought I was in love with her. But I wasn’t. I still love her, she’s family, you know? But it’s better this way,” Miller says. “She was a great kisser though.” Monty laughs, and damn, there’s his stomach again, and Miller grins at him. “No, I think we were pretending as cover, and then we got caught up in it. It wasn’t ever real, not really.” Monty nods.
“I’m glad you’re okay,” he says, and it sounds like there is more he wants to say. But the med bay is in sight and there is a part of Miller that doesn’t want to talk about it, so he lets it win.
They are completely unsurprised to find Clarke and Bellamy standing in a corner having a whispered argument.
“We can’t just leave them to fend for themselves,” Clarke hissed. “They’ll get themselves killed.”
“And how is that our fault? They sent us down here to die,” Bellamy whispers back. “And they’re going to treat us like children. They don’t want to let us leave the camp to go hunting. I don’t know about you, but I miss eating meat.”
“I agree we’ve got to get them to relax the rules. And no matter what Raven says, there’s no way I’m leaving her behind,” Clarke replied. Bellamy runs his hand through his hair. Monty and Miller looked at each other and grinned. It was kind of nice to see Clarke and Bellamy back together again. Bellamy opened his mouth to say something else, and Miller figured if they wanted to actually have a conversation with them, they’d need to get in before they started up again.
“Not to interrupt, but we can talk to you guys for a moment?” Miller asked softly. Clarke and Bellamy looked up, shocked to find they had an audience. Bellamy nodded, and Clarke smiled, coming toward them.
“What’s up?” Clarke asked. Miller glanced around. He didn’t want this moving past the four of them if it was nothing.
“I was talking to Harper last night and she asked what I thought the Mountain Men were going to do without their blood supply. They’ve got technology, they know the ground, and they’re well armed,” Miller says. Clarke’s frowning, but Bellamy looks determined.
“This just proves my point. We should go,” Bellamy says. Clarke raises her eyebrows at him. “You wanted to go before when the Grounders were attacking us, why is it so different now?”
“Because we’d be leaving people behind to get hurt. You know they wouldn’t come with us,” Clarke says, tiredly.
“And that’s our fault? We should stay here and die because they’re too stubborn to know what’s good for them?” Bellamy demands. Clarke gives him a look that makes him sigh.
“There are way more Grounders than we thought,” Monty says quietly. “And Mount Weather is way more technologically advanced. If we stay, we’re committing to living close by to two of our biggest threats. Lincoln said we should go to the sea, the people there are kinder, would help us.” Miller nods, he’s not eager to trust the Grounders, wherever they might live, but it makes more sense than staying here.
“What are our options anyway? Stand and fight two armies or run away?” Clarke asks. “There’s got to be more than one solution. Maybe if we ally with the Grounders…” Bellamy gives her a look, and she stops talking. He has not missed the way that there are always two conversations happening when you talk to Clarke and Bellamy together, the one you’re in, and the one they’re having telepathically.
“If we negotiate with Mount Weather, it’s going to be for blood. I’m sure their food production is amazing, but there’s nothing to stop them not giving people back, taking too much, or taking Grounders. And if we’re allied with the Mountain, the Grounders aren’t going to take it peacefully. They’ve been at war for too long, and the Mountain has been kicking the Grounder’s asses. This is a fight we’re not going to win, and this camp is on the front line. It’s not worth the risk,” Bellamy says, and Miller is amazed at the passion he has managed to inspire during a hushed conversation.
“I agree with Bellamy,” Monty offers. “I’d love to get my hands on their tech, but we’re going to die if we stay here.”
“We started from scratch before, we can do it again,” Miller adds. Clarke closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.
“They aren’t going to let us leave easily,” Clarke says, opening her eyes. “But we have to tell them, have to give them the chance to come with us.” Miller wants to disagree, and he can tell Bellamy does too. Miller imagines them standing near the entrance while the guards point their guns at them. He wonders where his father will be standing.
“It’s the right thing to do,” Miller says quietly, and Clarke nods at him approving. Bellamy sighs and nods in agreement.
“I’m meant to go back to TonDC for negotiations tomorrow,” Clarke says. Bellamy gives her a look that even Miller can interpret as ‘please don’t go’.
“We need to go soon,” Bellamy says, and Clarke nods.
“No, you’re right. Kane can do it. If he stays. Well. If everyone goes, we’ll have to send a message. But…,” Clarke’s voice trails off. Miller reads her face and knows that she knows her mother will stay here. He’s one of the few with family on the ground, and he gets it. The pull to stay with his father, and it’s harder for her, because she’s a leader and that means she’ll always put her people first. Even when it means leaving her mother behind. Bellamy’s looking at her strangely, and he can tell Monty feels awkward beside him. He wants to wrap his arms around her, but he knows that’s not the right thing to do.
“What do you want us to do?” Miller asks instead. “Do we rally the troops? Tell everyone not to get comfortable? Look for an alternate exit strategy?”
“We need to talk to the Chancellors first, out of respect,” Clarke says, despite the look Bellamy gives her. “And Raven has an alternate exit strategy covered. So just rest up I guess, for the journey ahead. Sort out what we took from Mount Weather, maybe try and organise some trades for more useful stuff on the downlow?” Miller cuts his eyes to Bellamy for approval, and he nods.
“Let us know if you need us for anything,” Miller says, before heading out. Monty follows him out of the med bay, just a step behind.
“Your father is here,” Monty says, stopping behind him. Miller turns to look at him.
“And?” Miller asks. There is something about Monty that looks almost lost in that moment.
“If… if he decides to stay… what will you do?” Monty asks quietly. Miller licks his lips. He knows the answer, but he also sees the fear in Monty’s eyes.
“This is my family now,” Miller says quietly. But Monty still looks nervous. “I’ll go,” he adds after a moment. Monty looks at him, nervousness fading away, something like respect replacing it.
“I hope he comes with us,” Monty says, starting to walk again. “But I’m glad you’ll be with us either way.”
“Yeah,” Miller says, walking beside him. He hopes so too.
---
After Miller and Monty leave, Bellamy won’t look at her and Clarke wonders if she should press the issue, keep talking to him, or just let it go. Fox whimpers, shifting in her sleep, and Clarke heads over to check on her. She doesn’t wake, and Clarke sighs, looking at the slight girl.
“Do you really think your mother is going to let you leave?” Bellamy asks quietly. Clarke turns to look at him, but he’s still looking at the floor, and she can see his jaw tic. She’s not sure what to say, suddenly.
“I told you, I want to see the ocean,” she says softly, but she’s saying more than that, and she hopes he hears it. He looks up at her, and he’s got the look in his eyes he had in the Grounder camp.
“That’s not… Clarke,” he says, and his voice breaks on her name. She swallows, waiting. “You… you’re the sky princess and I’m… I can’t ask you to-”
“I’m coming with you. We’re in this together, Bellamy. I thought you knew that by now,” Clarke says, cutting him off, her voice softening as she continues. He nods slowly, and sighs.
“I’m in love with you,” he says, looking at her carefully. Clarke feels her stomach shift, and she’s not sure how she’s flushed and chilled at the same time, but she is, and she’s staring at him. He rubs the back of his head.
“If you come with us, you need to know that. I’m going to keep being in love with you,” he says, and then swallows. He wants to say more, she can tell. Can see in his face that if she says she’s coming he’s going to take that as a reason to believe she might feel the same, and that he wants to tell her that. But she knows, too, that if she comes and tells him she’s not that he won’t force it on her either but that he won’t stop loving her too.
“Are you sure?” Clarke asks him instead, remembering their first days on earth, and the parade through his tent. He huffs out a laugh and shakes his head.
“Yeah, Clarke. I’m pretty sure,” he tells her, humour in his voice, but sincerity too. Clarke nods for a moment, considering.
“Me too,” she admits. “And I’m coming with you, whether or not my mother approves. She sent us down here to die, sent me down here to die. She’s kind of lost the right to tell me what to do. And... ,” she pauses and licks her lips. “And I want to be where you are.” It’s a simple admission, and not half of what she could have said, about her people, her friends, and protecting them. But this is the truth that Bellamy needs to hear, and she knows it. He’s looking at her like she’s both lost her mind and figured out the answer to life’s mysteries. As much as she wants to say something else, or do something to distract herself from what she’s just said, she knows he needs a moment to process. So she waits.
“Are you… you love me?” Bellamy asks, and he sounds so confused. She wants to smile, hug him, kiss his cheek, but she presses her lips in a line to fight her smile, and nods. He crosses the space between them in three steps and wraps her up in his arms, pressing her against his chest. He smells like smoke and pine needles, and he’s warm and solid. There is something that uncoils around her spine that she never knew was there, and she relaxes into him, melts. His arms tighten around her, almost like a spasm, and he sighs, the exhale long, and she feels her hair move with it.
“I’m going to take you to live by the ocean,” Bellamy breathes, and it’s a promise and a dream. Clarke smiles, pulling back to look at him.
“But first, we have to call a council meeting,” Clarke replies. Bellamy sighs, this time with exasperation.
“And how well did that go last night?” Bellamy asks. She thinks back to the meeting, the way her mother and Kane had spoken to them, and about them, like they were less than they were. He’s got a point, but then, so does she.
“You know that’s not the point. It’s the right thing to do,” Clarke reminds him, and he rolls his eyes and pulls her in close again. Her nose presses into his shoulder, and she is reminded that she’s allowed to be happy sometimes.
“I don’t want to lose you again, Clarke. I- I can’t,” Bellamy whispers. Clarke feels the urge to cry welling behind her eyes, and she bites her lip.
“You won’t, Bell, I promise. No matter what they say. We’ll get us and our people to the ocean, and we won’t stop until we do. I love you,” Clarke says softly. He nods as his arms tighten around her, pulling her hard against him. Clarke loses herself in the feeling of him, until she can hear Fox coughing again, waking up. She offers Bellamy a smile as she goes to check on Fox. She can feel him watching her.
“How are you, sweetheart?” Clarke asks her, stroking her hair. Fox offers her a weak smile.
“I’m okay,” Fox replies. “Just tired.” Clarke nods, checking her pulse. Steady.
“Can you sit up for me?” Clarke asks, and Fox complies. “Okay, can you put your arms out for me, straight out like a tree. Use your left hand to touch your nose. Now your right hand.” Her reactions are normal again, and Clarke smiles. “Great work, Fox. You ready to find your friends? I think breakfast is starting soon.”
“Thanks, Clarke,” Fox says happily, and leaves. Bellamy’s arms are folded across his chest when she turns back to him.
“So, council meeting?” he asks her. She nods. He goes to leave, and then he pauses and turns, as if he’s forgotten something. Clarke watches him with a smile.
“I forgot,” Bellamy offers, heading towards her.
“What?” Clarke asks, as he closes the distance between them, his hands framing her face.
“This,” he breathes, before tilting her head to kiss her. It’s soft, but firm, like he’s making a clear statement. She closes her eyes and leans into it. He pulls back much too soon, and she hasn’t had a first kiss that was so intentional and possessive… ever. He hovers, and she can feel his breath on her lips still. She opens her eyes, and he’s smiling at her smugly.
“Together?” he asks, as his hand takes hers. He’s asking more than about a council meeting, than whether or not they’re a team, he’s asking something more important and more meaningful. So she squeezes his hand once.
“Together,” she agrees, and then she turns her shoulder into him, nudging him. “Now go organise a council meeting so we can get out of here.” Bellamy laughs and leaves, smiling at her over his shoulder as he goes. She takes a moment, touching her fingers to her still tingling lips, smiling widely.
“So we can expect both of our fearless leaders to be a little more relaxed now?” Murphy asks from the bed behind her. She rolls her eyes at him.
“Shut up, Murphy,” Clarke tells him. And then she pauses. “How’s your head? You really need to drink more water on walks.” He snorts, getting up out of the cot and walking towards her.
“Sure thing, doc,” Murphy tells her, mocking, but she sees past it now, not that he’d ever want her to.
“Water, Murphy, I’m serious. You dehydrate, you die, and then I’ve got to dig a grave, and I don’t have time for that,” Clarke replies, and she thinks he understands that she cares when he gives her a nod before he leaves. They’re a group of really dysfunctional, messed up individuals that have been told they’re disposable for way too long, but they’re family now. All of them. Even then murderous assholes like Murphy. God, Wells would tell her she’s losing her mind, and maybe she is. Nothing’s without risks, and the ground is terrifying, but the ocean, with her family, with Bellamy? Clarke bites back a smile as she organises supplies. It’s not hope, and it’s not striving or fighting, like how she feels so often. It’s just… there. Contentment, she thinks, almost in wonder. I’m content.
“Even if we make peace with the Grounders, we’re still fighting the Mountain Men. They have gas that knocks us out, they wield the acid fog - have you seen it? What it can do to a person? Because we have. And I’m telling you we can’t fight this,” Bellamy tells them, at his most impassioned, and Clarke’s amazed that they’re still frowning.
“We went back to the bunker and found more weapons, more ammunition,” Kane says. “We can negotiate with the Mountain Men, offer them blood transfusions for supplies. We can negotiate with the Grounders for land and peace, and protection-” Bellamy cuts him off by slamming a fist on the metal table. The adults jump, and the blonde woman adjusts her grip on the gun. Clarke steps forward, placing palms on the table in front of her, leaning in. Bellamy steps back, letting her speak.
“Do you really think the Grounders will make peace with us if we make peace with their enemies? How long you have been on the ground? Two weeks? We were here a month before you arrived and we’ve learned that they are a proud people who aren’t going to accept that,” Clarke says, trying to stay calm. “We need to leave. It is the only way we’re going to survive. Lincoln has said that there are a people that are more tolerant to outsiders. If we say we’re another tribe from the ground, we get a chance to live.”
“We’ve got some elderly among us, and children. And we won’t have the structure of the station to keep us safe. No electricity. We’d be walking out into the unknown,” Abby says, and Clarke makes a fist, and Bellamy steps forward again.
“I understand. Believe me, I do. We were faced with this choice before, when the Grounder army was attacking and we had some advanced warning. I thought if we left we might never find anywhere safer, but Clarke’s right. This is our best chance at survival. We can’t fight two wars when we don’t even have enough housing to survive winter,” Bellamy says. Clarke watches the chancellors, sharing a look and shaking their heads. She glances up at Bellamy. We have to leave, Clarke says. He agrees with a glance, and the face the chancellors together.
“We’re leaving tomorrow morning. We’re taking our people with us. If you can spare any supplies, we’ll be grateful. We’ll take anyone who wants to come with us. But we aren’t staying,” Bellamy says. Abby looks at Clarke desperately.
“You’re leaving? But… I just got you back,” Abby says. Kane stands.
“This is treason. You are citizens of the Ark. In accordance with the Exodus Charter-,” Kane says.
“We are not citizens of the Ark. You floated us down here to die. We don’t belong to you,” Bellamy says, and his voice is cold and threatening in the way that Clarke remembers from those first days. Her mother’s looking at her like she’s a stranger, and maybe she is now.
“I can’t let you do that, son,” Kane says. Bellamy glares at him.
“I’m not your son, and this is not your call,” Bellamy says through ground teeth. The guard shifts her grip on her gun again, and Clarke can tell she’s itching for a fight, waiting for Kane’s command.
“A leader has to do what they think is right,” Clarke says softly. “And we think this is right, for us, for our people. We don’t want to end this badly, we’d like to retain a friendship with those that choose to stay. Bellamy and I, we’ve had to make a lot of decisions since we’ve landed. We’ve learned a lot about who we are, the resourcefulness and strength of our people. If we thought we could survive, we’d stay here with you. As it is, we’re happy to spend today sharing all of our knowledge with you before we leave tomorrow. But we can’t live under the Exodus Charter, and we can’t live on the door step of two enemies who can wipe us out whenever they feel like it.” She’s looking intently forward, but Clarke can feel Bellamy standing beside her, the his shoulder just behind hers. He’s so close she can feel the warmth of him, and she feels safe with him at her side. Abby and Kane are looking at each other, whispering softly. Clarke steps back into Bellamy, pressing her shoulder against his, looking up. If we go to lock up, we go shouting at her people to leave us behind, she can see in Bellamy’s eyes, and she knows she’s sending approval back at him.
“We will give you no supplies,” Kane says. “Your crimes have been pardoned, and we stand by that. I can’t promise you will be welcomed back.” Clarke nods once, confirming. They hadn’t really expected to walk out fully armed, but they knew enough to make weapons, and she was sure they could manage to slip out a few knives.
“We’re leaving in the morning,” Bellamy says firmly. Abby pleads with her eyes.
“Clarke, you could stay here with us,” Abby offers. She can feel Bellamy stiffen beside her.
“You could come with us,” Clarke replies.
“No,” Kane cuts in. “She can’t. None who did not fall to earth with you can leave with you.” Bellamy glared, and Clarke felt sick in a flash.
“Raven. She’s one of us,” Clarke says. “She comes with us, if she wants to.”
“She can’t walk,” Abby protested. But Kane looks thoughtful.
“She came down illegally,” he says after a moment. “But Sterling says she’s a genius.” Clarke narrows her eyes.
“Raven’s not a resource for you to tap. She’s a person, and she’s one of us,” Clarke bites out.
“All people are resources, Clarke,” Kane tells her, superiority in his tone and Clarke wants to hit him. “If you haven’t learned that perhaps you are not ready to make the hard decisions that come with leadership.”
“You don’t know anything about Clarke, or her ability to make hard choices. I’ve seen her bleeding from the eyes and helping others first, seen her kill someone who was dying slowly, seen her stubbornly save lives even when no one else believed she could. The only decisions she makes are hard ones,” Bellamy shouted, coming forward, stepping between Clarke and the table that separated them from the chancellors. Clarke feels a rush of love rise within her, so unmistakably love that she wondered how she ever thought she felt anything for anyone in the past.
“And what about you, Bellamy Blake, the janitor who shot Jaha? What makes you a good leader?” Kane asks, derisive, Bellamy scowls, but Clarke places a hand on his back, steady, she thought to him, and she felt him relax.
“Chancellors, with all due respect, we have what we came here for. This isn’t helping anyone. Raven is one of us. If she wants to come with us, I will carry her myself. But you don’t get to question who we are as leaders, the decisions we have to make, with nothing but your vile and brutal Exodus Charter. We’re family. And I’d like to see you try and stop Raven from doing anything she wants to do,” Clarke says, firm, strong, steady. She wishes she could have the quiet authority of her father, but she knows that it is her mother’s force of will that burns in her. Abby and Kane share a look, and Abby visibly deflates. Clarke knows they’ve won.
“You leave in the morning,” Kane agrees. “Tell us everything you know.”
Two hours later, Abby catches Clarke’s arm as they’re leaving. Bellamy freezes, looking back at her. And Clarke knows that he’ll stay, or fight for her, or leave if she asks. That together means they’re more than a team, and she feels safer than she remembers being since she was a small girl in her father’s arms. Clarke glances back at Abby, and sees the grief in her eyes.
“Five minutes,” Clarke says, and he nods, walking out. She turns back to face her mother.
“Please don’t go,” Abby whispers. “I just got you back, baby girl.” Clarke shakes her head sadly.
“I love you, I do. I don’t… I don’t forgive you yet and I’m so glad you’re alive. But Mom, I have to do this,” Clarke replies, and she tries not to cry, not to feel like she’s losing her mother yet again.
“I told you, I told you when they sent you down here that you would try to take care of everyone, just like your father,” Abby says, stroking her hair. “I told you to look after yourself.”
“If you thought I could let them suffer, let them die to save my own skin, you don’t know me at all. But saving them saves me. They are hunters and people who did well in Earth skills, and engineers, and kids from agro. Keeping them alive, healthy, keeps me fed, clothed, and sheltered. We’re a family, and family works together to survive,” Clarke tells her. Tears roll down Abby’s face, and Clarke steps in to hold her.
“I’m your mother, I’m your family,” Abby says softly. Clarke begins to cry too.
“You always will be, but I need to be with them now,” Clarke replies. “I’m trying to do the right thing. They need me.” Abby nods, pulling back.
“You are so much like your father,” Abby tells her. And Clarke offers a small smile. She doesn’t feel like it’s true enough, a lot of the time. But Jake was the best man she ever knew, closely followed by Wells and Bellamy. Funny that those three were so different, and so similar.
“I’ll have something for you, something we can spare from the medbay before you go,” she adds. Clarke nods her thanks, and walks out of the cold metal of the ark and into the sun.
Bellamy’s waiting for her when she steps out into the light.
“Are you okay?” he asks, he extends his hand, reaching for hers, but not taking it. She closes the distance, links her fingers through his.
“We will be,” Clarke says. Bellamy nods, and she sighs, something light and free, remembering the first time the sun touched her skin, warmed her. She sees Miller, Monty, Harper, and Jasper move towards them. Then Fox, Monroe, and Murphy. Raven on her crutches, and Lincoln and Octavia hand in hand. Their people, gathering together in front of them.
“We’re going to the ocean,” Bellamy tells them, and he squeezes Clarke’s hand. “Lincoln said there are a people there that will help us.” Lincoln nods once, slowly, and Bellamy nods in return.
“It won’t be easy. But we think it is the best option. The ground is not safe. But we’re family, and we’re going to stick together,” Clarke says. “Together, we’re strong.” She looks over at Bellamy, and he smiles at her.
“Are Mom and Dad together?” Jasper whispers loudly enough for them to hear.
“Weren’t they always?” Monroe asks.
“Saw them kissing in medbay,” Murphy cuts in. “Definitely together.”
“I totally knew he was in love with her,” Octavia says, giving Lincoln a little shove. Clarke looks over at Miller, and he’s smiling at them like he’s highly amused.
“We leave tomorrow morning,” Bellamy says, ignoring the chatter. “Find Arkers to tell what you’ve learned to. We’re not abandoning them like they abandoned us. But be ready to leave tomorrow, if you want to come with us.”
“This is your choice. But we’re going to the ocean. Who’s coming with us?” Clarke asks.
“Of course we’re all coming with you, morons,” Monty shouts. “We’re more interested in the dating.”
“Fine, we’re dating. Can we get a headcount on the ocean now?” Clarke huffs. And then she is surrounded with laughter, applause, hugs, her people, her friends, her family are pressing in around her, hugging her and Bellamy, reunited, together, at last.