Chapter Text
Text Message - Thursday 4:21 PM
Catra:
Hey, are you going to Scorpia’s tonight?
Perfuma:
We were planning on having dinner tonight after my late class but hadn’t decided where. Why?
Catra:
No reason, just wondering.
Perfuma:
…
Catra:
What?
Perfuma:
Were you hoping I’d be going to Scorpia’s?
Catra:
what? no I don’t care
I was just wondering if I needed to be decent when you got home
Perfuma:
…is that so? Interesting.
Catra:
you’re being weird
Perfuma:
You know, I can’t say I have any recollection of you worrying about “being decent”
Catra:
sorry for being considerate I guess
Perfuma:
…
You’re right, my mistake.
Catra:
apology accepted.
Perfuma:
How gracious. And yes, I’ll be going to Scorpia’s tonight.
Catra:
was that so hard?
Perfuma:
Tell Adora I said hi.
Catra:
fuck off
Text Message - Saturday 10:11 AM
Glimmer:
Adoraaaaaaaa I need french toast or I will literally die
Bow:
She’s not kidding
Glimmer:
And don’t say something dumb like ‘i already had my protein muscle powder magic juice’ because thats gross
Saturdays are literally made for good breakfast food
Its why they invented weekends
And to catch up on tv
Bow:
We were thinking Razz’s? Breakfast and a pie to go then maybe a movie day?
We can use the projector and go all out
– 10 Minutes Later –
Glimmer:
…hello, earth to Adora
There’s literally no way you aren’t awake yet
Don’t make me call you
– 5 Minutes Later –
(Missed Call from Glimmer)
Glimmer:
Are you DEAD???
Text Message - Tuesday 1:35 PM
Adora:
Hey, I have to stay late tonight. We’re getting in some new equipment and I wanna test it out before clients use it.
Catra:
gonna lick it to mark your territory?
Adora:
Yeah its standard procedure. Its like the second rule we cover in orientation
You really should have paid more attention.
Catra:
must have missed that part
…
so does that make me your territory?
Adora:
It only counts if its at the gym
But i could squeeze you in if you’re willing to work late
Catra:
…Greyskull are you suggesting rule breaking?
Adora:
More like encouraging
Catra:
damn
______________________
Avoiding Perfuma was a challenge on a few levels. The first of course was that they lived together. Hard to dodge the person whose bedroom door sits across from yours and splits the groceries with you.
Secondly, Catra missed her. Hell, she even missed Scorpia’s impulsive bear hugs whenever the three of them hung out. Prior to recent events, Perfuma had been her go-to person and Scorpia was a happy addition to her lonely little life. They were both so good about letting Catra come to them, lovingly pushing her to join in on dumb activities that ended up being fun without ever forcing her.
But what she couldn’t take were the questions. She could shake Scorpia with a firm glare or a warning growl but Perfuma… not so much. Perfuma knew too much, she knew the entirety of Catra’s whole tragic backstory from start to finish and had welcomed such information with grace and kindness. Perfuma knew what letting Adora back in meant, what sort of wound she was reopening and the risk it entailed.
Plus there was no fucking way Perfuma was going to accept, “It’s chill we’re just trying out being friends again while also defiling every surface we can think of.” Mostly on principle, but also because Perfuma was really good at spotting when she was lying.
And she would most certainly be lying.
As she readjusted her grip on the pull-up handlebars and let her gaze fall to the sight of her thighs resting on Adora’s shoulders as the muscular blonde ate her out like she was a Michelin star meal, she knew nothing about this was “chill.” Each long stroke of Adora’s tongue against her aching cunt was like a lighting strike shining bright against the grey sky in her mind. Her body arched into Adora, Catra’s pride be damned, begging for her to do whatever she willed with it. Those blue eyes met hers and Adora shot her a smirk so smug it made her breath sputter out like an old car engine.
They’d been going at it for what had to have been hours. Adora had let her in via the parking garage entrance and, after casually mentioning she’d turned off the security cameras, they made it about 2 additional minutes before Catra had Adora pinned to a wall and a hand under her shirt.
It’d essentially been like this since the team night at Nothing But. The two of them found any opportunity to be alone and then used said time to take turns seeing who could get the other to scream their name the loudest. That part was easy, it was carnal and invigorating and the skulking about didn’t not make it sexy.
But the quiet parts, the awkward smiles right before, or the gentle sounds of panting fading to contented little hums, those were harder.
Catra would often find herself curled up against Adora, the smell of the blonde and sex settling around the room like perfume. The beating of Adora’s heart thrummed out a soothing metronome in her ear as her head rested on the blonde’s chest. Her body was tired yet electrically alive all at once, fur puffed in places from uncontrollable delight as every nerve in her body seemed to crackle like a sparkler in summer.
In those moments she could see herself falling a little bit further into the mess she was making. Adora, the ghost of things that never were, was no longer haunting her dreams or moments of tragic nostalgia but holding her close at night and forgetting hair ties on her dresser. She wasn’t a figment of a cruel imagination but her most secret wish coming to life around her. This wasn’t a casual fling, it was what they were supposed to have been all that time ago.
It was an undeniable reality staring her in the eyes on a Saturday morning asking if she wanted coffee in bed.
She knew the moment she said it out loud, it’d be real. They’d have to finally talk about everything, two grave robbers armed with shovels and a single lantern come to dig up the history they’d both tried to bury.
Perfuma would hold off for a while, but certainly not forever. And while Adora swore up and down her “Best Friend Squad” (eye roll for eternity) had no idea, there was no way they weren’t suspicious of something going on.
But it didn’t matter to either of them. Not really.
It was goofy and stupid and it all filled her with the same joy she’d felt when Adora and her would sneak to the roof and giggle at the stars. Only this didn’t come with the fear of backlash and punishment.
The only fear she felt was whether or not she could trust Adora with this, even trust herself.
The age-old question, do you risk it all or play it safe? Fall in… you know or just avoid it and pretend you don’t wish you had.
“Hey, come back to me.”
Catra was pulled from her racing thoughts to the woman currently supporting her frame, face wet with slick and cheeks rosy from exertion.
She looked beautiful. That proud, goofy, endlessly caring jock smiling up at her had to be one of the best sights of her life; and she struggled to let herself revel in the fact she saw it nearly every day now. Her Adora, the only one she ever wanted.
“Everything okay in there? I’m not boring you am I?” Adora teased, letting her cheek rest against Catra’s inner and coincidentally short-circuiting Catra’s brain at the tender visual.
After a brief five to eight-second brain fart, Catra managed to save herself with a dismissive guffaw and roll of the eyes.
“Hardly you dork, I was just thinking about how to best repay you once you wrap up down there.” She gave her thighs a squeeze for good measure and lavished in the sensation of squeezing Adora’s face between her legs.
Adora laughed at that, but there was a hesitation to it. Her eyes darted just so, shoulders tensed ever so slightly, and Catra could smell the nerves starting to come off her in waves.
The fuck?
She was about to voice the question when Adora beat her to it, sucking in a huge breath before looking her straight in the eyes and blurting out, “Actually I was thinking we could go to dinner??”
The question was asked at an unwarranted decibel considering not only their proximity but the fact they were completely alone. However, even if Adora had whispered it to herself in a crowded room, Catra would have heard it. Adora wasn’t just asking about getting a bite to eat and taking it back to one of their respective places.
No, she was asking her to dinner.
Dinner, which was a pretty universal code for ‘date’.
A date, which was a thing you did in public with someone you intended TO date.
Which would mean this…
“Please don’t freak out.” Adora pleaded, her hands gripping at Catra’s thighs squeezed as though to keep her in place, which would have been a fair concern had it not been for their current situation. Also because Catra’s first instinct was to freak out.
Could Adora read her mind?
No that was stupid.
Unless… no definitely stupid.
“Catra,” she began cautiously. “I don’t wanna rush you or make you do anything you don’t want, but I was hoping we could,” she sucked in a steadying breath, “try? Or at least talk about it?”
Catra wasn’t sure which was worse, on the one hand, there was taking this thing they had into the outside world and hoping it wouldn’t get ruined (which historically wasn’t the case) or talking about it. Discussing “feelings”, and knowing Adora she wouldn’t let them get drunk first.
The psychopath would do it stone sober.
“Adora…,” she wheezed the blonde’s name like the weight of her every insecurity had decided to sit on her chest and she could only manage one last word. Her hands started to spasm a little, the adrenaline of semi-public sex wearing off and leaving her arms tired from holding her in place so long.
Her body was suddenly shifted, Adora’s arms moved to support her back as she was pulled away from the pull-up bars and leaned against a wall to help her slowly lower to her feet. Adora, for all her cluelessness, still seemed to be able to read Catra as well as she always had. The kindness of the wordless exchange cracked her steely resolve.
“Sorry,” Adora spoke as though she had just shared a shameful secret, “that wasn’t the right time to ask. I umm,” her gaze nervously shifted as though looking at a naked Catra was suddenly very inappropriate. Which Catra had to think was especially dumb considering Adora was equally naked and both were very well acquainted with the others’ nakedness at this point.
She was about to mention it, make a joke to ease the tension that was steadily filling the room like a noxious gas roaring through the vents, but Adora turned and began strutting around the gym collecting their various clothing articles strewn about the space. Catra simply stood shell shocked as Adora schooled her features and busied herself with tidying.
Fuck.
Fuck fuck fucking fuck fuck.
When it came to personal weaknesses they were a winning pair. Catra was, as Perfuma charmingly put it, emotionally constipated. Stopped up and grumpy about it. And Adora, well she was so busy worrying about others she was borderline overeager to suggest her own feelings get tossed out the window.
She felt 18 again, nervous and confused and eager for more. But instead of being hopeful and excited, she was hesitant. Even as she watched the idiot delicately pull her bra from the lat press bar, she felt the confusing pit in her stomach roar in confusion.
Because fuck did she love Adora. Even after years of raging, working, growing, and way more “healing” than she thought she could stomach, it took one look at that dorky jock and all of it came rushing back. All the butterflies she locked up were let loose with no signs of returning. Every single day since the night at Nothing But she’d woken up excited, reaching for her phone with delightful certainty that a message from Adora would be waiting for her. She got to kiss Adora, hold Adora, and even fall asleep with her head on the idiot’s chest soothed by the beating of that amazing heart.
And for every amazing moment, they’d shared, she’d known what was lurking around the corner, waiting for her. The talk. The feelings and the mess and risking bringing it all back up into the open, exposed to the light after all those years hidden away.
And now that moment had finally arrived and she was absolutely bombing.
“Here.” Adora stood before her, now in shorts and a sports bra, holding out Catra’s clothes in a neatly folded pile. She looked miserable, Adora was obviously trying to look nonchalant but acting was never really where she shined. It's what made her such a bad liar which Catra, for some reason, just found even more endearing.
She took the clothes, their fingers brushed, and her heart stung as Adora seemed to wince at the contact.
That’s what did it. What really pushed her to ignore the warring logic of her mind and say something incredibly stupid.
“Tomorrow.” Adora looked shocked at the very word, though she wasn’t nearly as shocked as Catra was by saying it. Even more so when she found herself adding, “We can go to dinner tomorrow, after work. I’ll pick you up after your shift and drive us. Just,” she bit her bottom lip, a futile last-ditch effort to maybe stop talking, “quit looking so depressed.”
There were a few things that could leave Catra speechless. The first time she had ridden on Scorpia’s motorcycle she’d basically been speechless, though even if she had wanted to talk she’d gone hoarse squealing with delight. There was also the time Perfuma had convinced her to go on a questionable beach trip excursion with her crystal group. The evening was weird, to say the least, but when she woke up that morning, seeing the sun practically rising out of the water, she couldn't find a single thing to say.
But none of those had quite the same effect as watching Adora fully light up with glee. The immediate satisfaction of watching the tension melt from her shoulders as her mouth slid into the toothy grin that so naturally belong on her face. The ecstasy she’d chased her entire childhood of being the one to ease Adora’s troubles.
She had committed to the next step or at least something like it.
Now she just had to not chicken out.
_______________________________
Sweaty.
Like way way too sweaty.
Adora had already taken about three showers today, and she was well aware that the third was overkill but she had needed the distraction. Plus she couldn’t stop nervous sweating; it started with her palms, then her armpits, down to her lower back, and weirdly the back of her knees.
Luckily everyone just assumed she was having a particularly athletic day and not letting her brain work itself into a frenzy that had catastrophic effects on her sweat glands.
But now, as she stood in the locker room twisting and turning to check that she hadn’t sweat through her outfit, she couldn’t ignore the clawing tremors of panic begging to drive her mad. Catra had left shortly after them confirming plans the other night, and communication since was minimal at best. After weeks of good morning texts, random pictures, and teasing messages, today had been nothing but short responses and long stretches of silence and it gnawed at her insides.
All of this was her own doing, truly. She asked for this talk, and asked for a date, despite knowing how likely doing so would ruin everything. She’d gone years without Catra, and now she not only had her back but got to touch her in all the ways she’d always fantasized. Sure it wasn’t perfect, but she got to see Catra smile, got to make her scream in the best way, and fall asleep to the soothing sounds of her rumbling purrs.
But it wasn’t right…
Not that wasn’t it. It wasn’t enough?
Every time they were laughing, or fucking, or just talking, she could feel the dark cloud looming overhead. Catra would be saying something irrelevant and Adora would suddenly see her at 18, eyes wide and tears forming in the corner of those eyes. Catra would moan her name and as though it were an echo, she’d hear the name repeated back, only the words would be broken and choked heartbreak. She would hold her hand and remember what it felt like when she ripped it from Adora and ran.
There was so much pain between them, so much ache, and no matter how much fun they were having, it wouldn’t go away. The longer she ignored it, the larger the cloud grew, and the more it threatened to not just drizzle but desolate their shoddy standing with a flash flood. What they had felt so good and so fragile and she worried each day that that would be the day it came crashing down.
So she said something, made the demand in spite of how much she really didn’t want to and hoped Catra wouldn’t run.
And she didn’t, not this time. She begrudgingly agreed, even smiled albeit faintly, before kissing her goodbye on the cheek and promising to see her tomorrow.
Well, tomorrow was now today and Adora was fresh out of distractions, forced to simply stand and stare at her phone while she tried to ignore the sound of her pounding heart.
“Please don’t bail on me.” She whispered in the empty locker room.
As though the universe was eavesdropping and decided to cut her some slack, she felt a buzz from her back pocket and her heart nearly busted out her rib cage in sheer panic. With sweaty palms (seriously how was she not severely dehydrated at this point) and a deep breath that she’d heard Perfuma mention was “calming” she dared to read the screen.
Catra:
in the garage, whenever you’re ready
Okay so not a blowoff. It was happening. Like for real for real happening. She was going to go on a date with the girl she’d spent her entire life pining over and talk. And Catra was on board with minimal arm twisting!
So with her head held high and an uneasy hope bubbling up in her stomach, she made her way out of the locker room and towards the back door to the garage. Once she was through the doorway she could see Catra sitting in her beat-up blueberry car about 20 ft from her. Even in the parking garage’s low lights, she could see those mismatched eyes clearly, shining bright and locked onto Adora as though she’d been staring at the door waiting.
Which was kind of comforting, the idea that Catra was probably as nervous as she was. Adora moved to wave her hand, hoping to break the tension, only for the phone in her hand to start ringing.
It was Catra.
“What the fuck?” She murmured, her gaze returning to the woman in her car who she could confirm was holding a phone to her ear and apparently waiting for Adora to do the same.
So she did.
“Hey what’s-,”
“I need you not to say anything for a bit okay? I,” Catra sighed and she watched as the magicat seemed to hang her head and collect herself before bringing the phone back to her ear, “I know you want to talk but I just need to say my piece first okay? If we’re gonna do this, I need to go first. And if I’m gonna do this I just need… fuck I don’t wanna sound like an asshole.”
“You need an exit.” Adora finished for her without a hint of hurt or bitterness in her voice. Catra had been forced into a lot of conversations in her life, a lot of situations that weren’t fair and stripped her of any say. A part of Adora hurt remembering how she used to be part of that exit plan, but this was all part of what needed to happen.
And if this is how it had to happen…
“You’re not an asshole. I won’t say anything. Just, promise me you’ll try and avoid taking it before I’ve had my chance to respond?”
She could make out a tight appreciative smile on Catra’s face before the voice on the phone managed a whispered, “thank you.”
Adora eased her back against the wall before sliding to the floor to get sit, any discomfort completely unnoticed as the weight of what was about to happen weighed heavy in the air around her. She settled in, her legs crossed and her free hand nervously playing with the rolled cuff of her jeans.
It was now or never.
“I understand why you didn’t kiss me.” The words were so calm yet hit Adora’s heart like an earthquake splitting the earth into craggy mountains. She could taste them, feel them wrap around her heart and squeeze; but she remained silent and still, eyes focused on the woman in the car.
“I want to say I agree with it, or that I would have done the same, but I just don’t think that's true. We were young and I’d spent so much of my life so scared to do the one thing I really wanted, and not because I thought I’d be rejected but that I’d lose you. Weaver would have separated us the minute she knew, but we wouldn’t be able to run like the others did. She would have come after you and we both knew it.”
Catra took another deep breath and Adora could only assume Catra was being plagued by the same horrible nightmare fears as she was. So many nights they’d curled up together and tried to soothe the other that they’d make it out together, that strangers wouldn’t appear one day to rip them apart.
“I shouldn’t have run. I was too mad to hear you out, too embarrassed to even make it through a fucking sentence, but I shouldn’t have run. I should have stayed and talked it out and I’m sorry I didn’t. I need you to know you did the right thing, going to college I mean. It was the right thing for you, and you deserved it.”
Catra moved out of Adora’s line of sight as she leaned forward to rest her head on the steering wheel, leaving only her ears and fluffy ponytail in view.
Adora gulped down a shaky breath and quietly noted that she managed to hold off crying much longer than she had first assumed. Her throat burned with words, apologies sat heavily on her tongue and it felt like her chest was a balloon being pumped with too much air. She remembered those lonely nights her first semester, curled on her twin bed crying into a pillow as quietly as possible, her roommate always giving her worried looks, and how her RA tried so hard to pretend like they weren’t doing health checks every time they poked their head in to say, “hi”.
It was the right thing to do… but it hurt like hell doing it.
“But you should have told me the day you found out. I would have been upset but in a dumb teenager way, we would have gotten past it. And you shouldn’t have kissed her.” Catra’s voice broke at that, her words clipped and tight to keep what emotions she could at bay.
The next few seconds of silence passed peppered with the sounds of Catra’s sniffles and deep breaths as she tried to self-soothe while Adora fought a losing battle against the tears perpetually spilling down her cheeks.
Finally, Catra’s head lifted back up and Adora saw those two colorful eyes staring directly into hers.
“I don’t forgive you for kissing her. I can’t.” Catra’s whispered words felt like a hot knife slicing through the center of Adora’s. The blonde nearly dropped her phone as white-hot electric panic shot through her veins and sent her heart racing.
What if this is it? What if this is the end of all of it? No cold shoulder and angry glares, no hushed giggles in closets or quiet nights in bed, just strangers passing by. What if one conversation in a parking garage was the last of it and they would just become ships in the night?
“But I think I can eventually.”
Time froze for a minute, Catra’s words hung between them and Adora froze in fear a single movement could send Catra second-guessing. “Adora, I did so much without you. I didn’t just survive, I won. No one thought I could but I did. I did every single thing Weaver told me I couldn’t. I used to think you were all I had, but I have so much more to me and I don’t think I would have realized that without you.” Something akin to bittersweet pride was brimming in Catra’s voice as she grew more confident with every word.
“I don’t know what this thing we’re doing is going to be exactly. I know what part of me wants, but the other part is scared shitless of it, so I need time. And I definitely can’t promise anything.” She paused and Adora’s heart stopped at the miracle that was Catra’s best attempt at a cocky grin. “But I really missed you, you idiot.”
Moments that could have minutes passed between them. Adora stayed exactly how she was, unmoving and cheeks wet with victorious tears and she distantly processed that Catra’s smile was beginning to falter. But all she could do was sit and listen and wait, it was all Catra has asked and she refused to deprive her of that.
Even if every part of her burned with the desire to stand up and haul herself full speed at that little car, swing the door open, and sweep its passenger into her arms.
“Adora…?” Catra asked, her voice curious and eyes beginning to narrow before growing wide and her mouth twisting like she was biting her lips in order to keep them from acting of their own accord.
“Oh my god you dork,” she managed, her voice light with something endearing and playful, “you can talk.”
Adora had thought when she was told it was her turn, she’d be ready. She’d hold her head high, thank Catra for her honesty, and then say the perfect thing. Hell, she’d had years to rehearse just what she’d say if given the chance. But now, sitting in a blessedly empty parking garage, with the person she loved most waiting for her to speak, all of it seemed to disappear.
“Hey, Adora? Can you say something, you’re starting to freak me out.”
“I didn’t know how to be alone.” It took Adora a second to realize the voice speaking was her own, but by the time she did it had already continued, her heart stepping in where her logic could not. “When they told me about the scholarship all I could think was, ‘What will happen to me if Catra isn’t there?’ My entire life, the only thing that mattered was making sure you were okay. I couldn’t save you from Weaver, I couldn’t keep her from saying every terrible thing she said, but I knew that one day I would. One day I would make it all up to you, and until I could I spent every day just so obsessed with protecting you.”
“Adora I didn’t ask you-” Catra began but Adora was apparently on a roll.
“And then I just sat with it for weeks Catra. I looked you dead in the eye and buried it, convinced there’d be some perfect fucking moment to shatter our plans. But there wasn’t one, and it just kept building, and then you went to kiss me and I couldn’t keep lying to you. So you ran, and I didn’t even chase after you because I just assumed that was it. That I’d broken us and that losing you was my punishment.”
Adora paused, her throat raw and mouth uncomfortably dry, but she was on autopilot. Catra looked at her from her car like Adora was a puppy abandoned on the side of the road and she hated it so much she let it fuel her forward.
“I hated myself so much, I was mad for wanting something without you but not enough to stop it. And then you were gone and I just started to drink and I know that’s not an excuse but I just wanted to feel anything else. But it just got worse Catra. I just felt more and more alone and then… then she was there.”
She dropped her head at this, like a machine powering down she let her head hang heavy as she let her miserable confession run its course.
“I didn’t know how to be alone Catra, I always had you. But then I was alone and I was so scared and then Starla was there and I just let things happen because I was so desperate to not be alone. Catra, it could have been anyone, and I don’t know if that makes it better or worse, but I just didn’t care. And then you saw… you saw and I knew it was done. I knew I had dug the fucking grave and jumped in.’
“And even though I climbed out, it just felt like I built a house next to it. A whole life, friends and dreams, all right next to this gaping hole I dug when I was 18 that sat right in my peripheral.”
Her voice was now choked with sobs, her breath uneven and messy as she struggled to the finish line.
“And I’m sorry Catra, but I don’t know what else I can do.” The words left her mouth like a spirit leaving a body, finally freed but leaving a hollow space behind.
She felt… she couldn’t even name it really. Relived? Horrified? Angry? She had wanted this talk, but she’d never planned it feeling like this.
Stupid Adora, what the hell did you think would happen? Stupid, stupid idiot…
“Adora,” Adora’s head shot up in surprise as she became instantly aware of the woman crouched in front of her. How she had managed to miss the sound of Catra getting out of her car and approaching her was either a testament to Catra’s incredible dexterity or the depths of Adora’s pity party.
Catra’s mouth turned to the smallest of smiles at Adora’s apparent obliviousness, but her eyes still held that aching melancholy from before. She raised a hand and cradled Adora’s cheek like it was something delicate and precious, her claws like tender pinpricks that sent instant comfort through the blonde’s veins.
“There’s nothing you can do Adora.” She spoke matter of factly, as though the words didn’t feel like a foot crashing through a faulty stair. “It happened years ago, we changed, we both grew up and there's nothing that can be done about it.” Adora felt as a tear spilled over only for Catra’s thumb to brush it away.
“But…” she started, only for Catra to hush her.
“We needed to be apart Adora. I’m not saying that was the best way to do it, but we needed it. I don’t need you to make my life good, but I think we both needed to learn that. And now we have. There’s no going back and doing it all over no matter how much you want to. There’s just this.”
Catra paused and let herself sink fully to her knees as her other hand moved to cup Adora’s other cheek.
“I can’t say I know what I’m doing or that I’m not gonna freak out at some point, but I’ve loved you since I was four years old and I’ve never been able to stop.”
The world had gone quiet, practically faded from existence, leaving only Adora and Catra in this formerly unimportant parking garage. All Adora saw was Catra, all she felt were soft hands on her face, all she could say was,
“You love me?”
A pause and then Catra’s features completely cracked as her cheeks turned a bold shade of crimson and her mouth stretched into what was almost the most beautiful smile she’d ever seen.
“Seriously? You’re such an idiot, of course, I-”
“I love you too.”
And that's when Adora saw the most beautiful smile to ever exist.
It was hard to tell who crashed into who, or maybe it was a simultaneous collision, as both women hurled themselves into the other before tumbling to the concrete in a mess of limbs and tears and messy make-outs. Between kisses, Catra would giggle in a voice so wildly out of character Adora would have struggled to recognize her if she wasn’t a breath away from her face.
And Adora for her part just kept saying, “wow” over and over again like it was the only word her mouth had ever learned to form.
Eventually, despite the lingering euphoria, the two managed to right themselves into a seated position as the distant sounds of a car door closing snapped them out of their loved dazed bubble. They were, after all, in a parking garage.
That people used to park their cars.
Including people, they work with.
A mild panic seemed to overtake Catra as she went rigid in Adora’s unrelenting hold (in Adora’s defense she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to let go again) and her eyes went wild and wide. But this was Catra, Adora’s Catra, and she finally felt steady in where she stood with the tempestuous storm in her arms.
Before Catra could even manage a single word, Adora had stood with the magicat safely scooped up to her chest and was making quick strides to the beat-up chariot awaiting its driver. With the door still open from Catra’s quick dash to check on Adora, the blonde easily maneuvered around it and neatly deposited the blushing woman back in the driver’s seat before giving her a quick peck on the cheek, shutting the door, and dashing to claim her rightful seat beside her.
A moment of silence passed between them, Adora already feeling mild muscle fatigue in her cheeks from smiling so much and Catra looking like someone frozen in an eternal gay panic.
“Fuck,” the magicat finally managed in breathy awe, “you really are just the hottest fucking jock to ever exist, aren’t you?”
Adora, true to her reputation as always being the absolute coolest person in any room, responded by shooting off two rounds of finger guns before blowing away imaginary smoke.
And because somehow, in all the madness of everything in Adora’s life the universe had decided to cut her some slack, Catra’s only response to this true moment of dorkdom was to reach across the center console, grab her face, and kiss her like their whole world depended on it.
When they broke apart a second time, red-faced and panting, vibrating with ecstasy, Catra was the one to finally remember that they had plans outside of steaming up car windows.
“Okay dummy, so umm, I’m sure there’s more to talk about but we really do have to get going.”
Adora nodded her head so hard she could have pulled a muscle.
It was only as they pulled out into the saturated colors of the setting sun’s fading light that Adora finally thought to ask, “So where are we going?”
Catra smiled, reaching one hand over to rest on Adora’s thigh as a serene peace washed over her features.
“It’s this dinner thing I have with some friends of mine once in a while. I think you may even recognize ‘em.”
_______________________________
When Catra woke the next morning she was instantly aware of a few key facts in a very specific order:
- She was absolutely hungover
- She had a class to teach that afternoon
- She needed to rectify observation 1 in order to complete observation 2 without vomiting
- Adora was basically a weighted blanket but sweatier
The last fact was currently wrapped around her entire body, their limbs tangled together in Catra’s sheets while Adora softly snored into Catra’s ear.
Catra normally hated waking up to someone in her space, especially when she was battling the aftermath of shots. She’d sent more than her fair share of women out into the early morning air, still groggy and eyelids heavy with sleep, all realizing too late how quickly they’d been given the boot.
Perfuma called it inconsiderate. Catra called it, “protecting her boundaries” and Perfuma would roll her eyes at her own advice being weaponized against her.
But this morning, despite the ache in her head and the bitter salty state of her dry mouth, she found she only wanted to burrow deeper into the muscled mass holding her hostage.
The night before had been… a lot. Like, a lot a lot.
She had told Lonnie she was bringing a close friend of hers to dinner, and even gone so far as to not argue with her when she teasingly asked if this, “close friend is serious?” She had told Adora they were seeing some super important people in her life (and then had to constantly bat Adora’s hand away from her mouth to keep her from biting her nails).
Could she have given both sides more warning? Yeah. Would that have been the appropriate thing to do? Well, her therapist, Perfuma, and common sense would likely respond with a resounding “YES.”
But Catra loved a little chaos. Especially when it was on her terms.
When Kyle opened the front door, he managed a really loud squeak before seemingly turning to stone as he stood shell-shocked in the doorway gaping at Adora. Adora responded by basically mirroring him while squeezing Catra’s hand so hard that Catra nearly dropped the appetizer tray she was balancing in the other.
Rogelio was the next to wander up, also taking a moment to freeze in shock before delicately lifting Kyle up and out of the way so her could fully barrel his way to Adora and scoop her up in a lunch crushing embrace. Catra used Adora’s momentary capture to shake out her newly freed hand and check to make sure Kyle hadn’t died on them.
It was, to everyone’s surprise, that the waterworks only started when Lonnie came to the door. A barbed admonishment for just leaving the front door open and letting bugs in fresh on her tongue, only to disappear entirely when she saw the blonde struggling to breathe in her taller boyfriend’s arms.
“Is that… it can’t be… Catra how did you…” Lonnie’s words kept trailing off, as though the ends of sentences were as incomprehensible as the scene playing out before her.
“Yeah, sorry bout that,” Catra tried for a nonchalant tone but even she couldn’t manage to bite back her smile, “I know I said I was bringing a friend but I guess I should have mentioned she’s my girlfriend.’
Lonnie broke her wide-eyed gaze at Adora (who was slowly being lowered back to the ground as Kyle had shaken his stupor and was easing Rogelio into releasing her) to give Catra a watery glare, flick her off, before running full speed into the trio love pile now surrounding Adora.
Catra joined too when she saw Adora’s hand emerge from the hugfest, palm open and waiting solely for her.
For her best friend.
For her girlfriend.
For her Catra.
From there it was a loud evening, the room divided into essentially two schools of thought. The cry it out team consisting of Kyle, Rogelio, and Adora and the “sip on my drink and refuse to make eye contact when things get too sentimental” duo of Catra and Lonnie. They’d spent the evening telling stories, catching up, playing games, looking at pictures, and sharing adventures.
At one point, while Adora was entertaining Kyle and Rogelio with a story of how she got second place in a push-up contest Catra wandered into the kitchen to help Lonnie with the brisket and was surprised to find herself in a very uncharacteristic hug. Lonnie’s strong arms pulled her tight to her chest and she breathed in the familiar smell of gasoline, sweat, and a hint of tangerine that made up her pseudo sister.
“I’m fucking proud of you kid. You’re a stubborn asshole and an absolute shit, but you deserve this. I never stopped rooting for you, both of you. That monster can’t take her away, so don’t be afraid to hold on, okay?”
The two stood like that for a minute, Catra pretending she wasn’t crying a little and Lonnie pretending she didn’t notice, and then immediately poured themselves some whiskey and cheers’d.
Lonnie always did get her in that way.
But in the morning light, with Adora’s drool puddle becoming more and more apparent, Catra couldn’t help but smile at this little life she’d found herself in. After years of fighting, years of hiding and surviving, of being told everything she wanted was destined to stay just out of reach.
She had found it anyways.
With a small smile, she reached for her phone and shot off a quick text to Perfuma, letting her know the status of things. With any luck, Scorpia would have the entire staff up to date within the hour and Catra could settle into their first day together together without saying a single word.
It was, for once in her life, so easy to give up control and let things run. She had Adora, the rest could fall however it pleased.
_______________________________
Adora was a lot of things. She was adaptable, smart, confident, strong, and generally pretty optimistic.
What she was not, was graceful.
For all her winning traits and impressive history as a knowledgeable gym rat, it seemed the fitness gods had decided she needed some sort of weakness to keep her humble. It didn’t come up often, luckily, but when she had taken Perfuma’s yoga class it seemed no amount of core strength could keep her from wobbling to and fro until she inevitably tumbled and took Netossa or Bow with her (pending which direction she fell).
Perfuma had been gentle though, giving her a helping hand as she stood back up and saying encouraging things like, “You have such a wonderful enthusiasm,” and “Your determination is admirable.” And while that may have felt a bit patronizing coming from anyone else it seemed genuine coming from her.
The same could not be said of Catra. At least not when it came to having Adora as a student.
Through gritted teeth, Adora watched Catra gracefully slink her way around the room, occasionally adjusting students' forms and demo-ing each change of exercise as it came up. She was like water, each move was smooth and fluid, not so much thought but instinctually intuitive, and never once showing exhaustion.
She was as impressive as she was infuriating, making sure that every time she caught Adora’s eyes she let a victorious little smirk break through her helpful teach persona. Apparently, being girlfriends didn’t mean an end to a lifetime of competitiveness.
Adora huffed out an agitated breath as her calves trembled, she lifted her heels pleading to be lowered while another bead of sweat began its journey down her back. She had only been holding this position for about ten seconds and her body was already desperate to wave a white flag in defeat.
As if fully tuned to Adora’s suffering, Catra turned and sauntered over to her, leaning against the bar like it was the most casual of encounters. Before Adora could manage a well-placed scowl, Catra put her hand over her head mic and leaned in to whisper, “Had enough princess? You’re looking tired.”
Not to be bested Adora, in a moment of absolute idiocy, responded by sinking even lower into the second position static hold despite the way her entire body seemed to boo her in response.
Catra only smiled in return, fangs sharp and predatory as she spoke into the headset, “Alright everyone, now sink a little lower and pulse.”
The room let out a collective groan while Catra simply snickered as she began counting them out.
_______________________________
As the last client waved goodbye, Catra turned her attention to the now fully slumped pile of bones that was her incredibly wiped girlfriend.
Her girlfriend .
Even thinking the word sent a delightful jolt down her spine all the way to the tips of her toes, making her tail puff ever so slightly. She couldn’t even attempt to hide the sincerely bright smile pulling at her lips as she came to a stop a few inches from Adora’s prone figure.
The poor thing was beet red, chest panting, as she laid semi-conscious in a growing puddle of her own perspiration. And somehow, Catra found it incredibly attractive.
“I won’t lie to you princess, that might now have been your finest moment of physical prowess.”
Adora cracked an eye open and let out a playfully grumpy huff.
“I’m off my game, thank you very much. Not to name names but someone insisted on cardio at two in the morning.” And she gave a cocky little wink which was only mostly undercut by the aforementioned panting.
Wonderful idiot.
“Excuses excuses Adora. Better toughen up of people might think you’re nothing but show muscles and pretty face.”
Adora beamed up at her in response before slowly heaving herself up to her feet, crowding into Catra’s space.
“I think we both know what these muscles are good for,” she leaned in towards one of Catra’s ears and whispered, “kitten.”
Even if Adora missed the obvious shiver that overtook Catra’s frame in response, there was no way of covering the soft whine that spilled from her traitorous lips. She pulled back with half a mind to give Adora the what for but was driven to silence as Adora’s hands came to gently cup her cheeks and guide her into a chaste kiss.
This, this sort of softness, was what she had always wondered about. How it would feel to be held like this, wanted like this, and to fully embrace the want in return.
And how wonderful it would be if it was Adora.
And how wonderful it is that it is Adora.
Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on who you ask, the moment was interrupted before it could progress any further when Bow stumbled into the room. He looked, for a moment, blatantly concerned as his eyes darted from Catra and Adora to something back out in the gym. But then he put on a big smile and collected himself with an exuberant amount of positivity.
“Hey, guys! I hoped I’d catch you both in here, haha. Umm, Adora, do you mind coming by the front desk? There's a uhhh,” he glanced back over his shoulder, “client who wanted to say hi.”
Catra had figured Bow was just being weird about seeing them together for the first time but something cold started creeping its way into her veins.
Adora, however, seemed totally unbothered.
“Sure thing, can you telly hem to wait though? I was gonna help Catra clean up fir-”, but Bow was already shaking his head, his cheery facade getting less and less confident.
“Sorry, its kinda urgent. But I’ll send SeaHawk in to help. It shouldn’t take too long but I really need you.”
Adora tensed at that, her eyes squinting and jaw firming as she seemed to grind her teeth.
“Hey,” Catra reached up and let a finger rest on the woman’s forehead, bringing Adora back to reality, “don’t worry about it. Probably some crusty old broad trying to get a discounted membership or something. I’ll be fine, just come find me after.”
The blonde relaxed a little at that, ducking her head to press a quick cheek to Catra’s cheek before nodding and swiftly moving to follow Bow’s already retreating figure. She watched her disappear from vision and couldn’t help but bask in the glow of pride that after all this time, she could still soothe that wonderful dope.
With one last look, Catra rolled her shoulders and set about cleaning the classroom. Sanitizing equipment and gathering all the props they’d used that day. She was halfway through gathering the one-pound weights when the familiar clatter that seemed to follow SeaHawk’s every move came crashing into her peace.
“Catra! My friend! I heard you were in need of my assistance!” Catra did her best to bite down her natural instinct to grimace. She, in fact. Did not require anyone’s assistance let alone SeaHawk’s. He was notoriously the opposite of helpful; if anything, his help would add ten minutes to a task. Bow was definitely off his game today.
“I’m actually fine man, but-,” she was cut off as SeaHawk waved his hand in protest and began bustling about the room in a mad frenzy, grabbing as many things as he could hold with no rhyme or reason.
And then promptly dropped half of what he grabbed.
Catra rolled her eyes and tried a few of Perfuma’s “calming breaths” before she accepted her fate and moved to assist the human wrecking ball.
“Here, gather up the two-pound weights for me and put them on that mat okay? I have to wipe them down before storing.” The fool gave a firm salute before busying himself with the requested task, chattering all the while.
For the most part, Catra just nodded along. First, he went on a quick oversharing spiel about his girlfriend’s latest sexacapde suggestion (which she shut down as fast as possible), then moved to rank his favorite protein powders, followed by a retelling of the staff summer cookout from two years ago. It was easy enough to tune him out, she just had to occasionally sprinkle in some active listening sounds and he was none the wiser.
They were near the end of their little chore session when he suddenly turned the conversation to her, full of unbridled delight.
“Heavens! My friend I completely forgot to congratulate you on your recent coupling!” She cringed but forced a smile, he was well-meaning after all.
“Thanks. It’s,” she paused as a soft smile overtook her features, “it's really great. Yeah.”
“Wonderful, just absolutely wonderful. You know, we all worried about Adora for a bit. Such a wonderful person and yet such a struggle when it came to matters of the heart. I mean, she never seemed to take a real interest in anyone but maybe the secret is having old flames visit her at work. That seems to be the trick! You know, come to think of it, maybe I should employ that tactic with Mermista next time she mentions taking a break. Win her over with my sweat and charms and- Catra? Are you all right?”
Catra had gone still, the chill from earlier now had her heart clenched in its icy grip. A suspicious voice started to whisper in her brain, encouraging her to drop the wipe in her hand and slowly make her way out the door. SeaHawk’s voice was behind her but his words were garbled, as though he was underwater. Or maybe she was?
The voice continued to push her, telling her something was wrong; telling her she needed to check. Promising her that her little happiness was much more fragile than imagined.
She did her best to remember Perfuma’s words when it came to self-soothing and keeping the anger and fear at bay. She tried to convince herself she should go back to her room and finish cleaning, that Adora would find her after just like she promised and everything would be fine.
But when she found herself standing in the middle of the lobby, a few feet from the front desk, she felt everything fall apart with two swift blows.
The first was the pained panicked look on Adora’s face as the blonde caught sight of her girlfriend's presence.
The second was the shining and delighted smile, accompanied by an exuberant wave, of Catra’s former lab partner and one of the few people she’d ever considered a friend in high school.
Catra had grown so much since she was 18, had changed in ways she hadn’t even thought possible. And yet, when faced with what felt like the world’s cruelest form of deja vu, Catra let herself repeat history as she turned and sprinted out the employee exit.