Chapter Text
“Hi Baekhyun. It's mom,” Baekhyun's mother said on the phone. “Hi mom. How are you?” he asked cheerfully. Every time he got a call from his mother, he tried his best to sound his most cheerful. It was probably a defense mechanism because he knew how these conversations always ended. In misery.
“I’m wonderful, darling! I just received the best news. Taeyeon got into Massachusetts General!”. Baekhyun could tell that his mother was over the moon. “It's not easy, you know. You have to be absolutely smart to be accepted there. I'm proud of your sister”. “That's great! That will be a nice credential for her” Baekhyun agreed. “I know,” his mother said. “But I'm worried about you, Baekhyun. Taeyeon is going to be set for life. She's got everything going for her. But you… you should start rethinking your career path. Writing is not exactly a cash cow, you know”. ‘Here we go again!’
“Just because Taeyeon was the smart one, doesn’t mean she's going to be the only one to have a bright future. Why don't you start as a secretary in a big firm? Or you could look into broadcasting” his mother said. Baekhyun fell silent. His mom apparently took that as a cue to continue. “Every time my friends ask me what you do, I don't know what to say. I mean, I can't honestly tell them that you go around Manhattan fast foods and bars, and write essays to get paid per word.”
“Mom, I’m not being paid per word. I’m doing fine. I think I'm one of the highest paid writers in the world!” he rolled his eyes. He wasn't sure if it was true though. But he was paid quite well and he loves his job, even if Stella was his boss. Unfortunately his family didn't see it that way.
“And what's this I heard about you buying an apartment? Taeyeon said you got something located in a high-end street? What were you thinking? Do you think you can pay off the mortgage being paid per word? Your career is not stable. You're not even working for a top newspaper. You better pray that enough vain women stay in Manhattan so you could keep your job. That's not something I'd be proud to talk about with Minho's mother. This is why Taeyeon’s always been the smarter one”. A tear rolled down Baekhyun's cheek. “Mom,” he swallowed hard, trying his best to calm his voice, like he wasn't affected by what she just said. “I'm running late for a meeting. But it was nice talking to you”. “Alright dear. Call Taeyeon one of these days. Congratulate her. I’m sure Minho will get into a good hospital as well since he's spending time with Taeyeon. She’ll give him a lot of pointers. Okay, bye.”
It was pointless to fight back the tears as soon as he hung up the phone. He had tried his whole life to win the love and respect of his mother. But no matter what he said or did, Taeyeon was all she saw. He didn't want to compete with his sister. But was it too much to ask for just a little bit of approval from the woman who was supposed to be his biggest fan.
He dialled Minho's number. “Hi, Baek. Have you heard the news? Taeyeon got into Massachusetts General. It’s such wonderful news! I'm so proud of her”. “Yeah, I heard”. “My parents seemed so surprised. They didn't know how smart she was until now. They kept telling me what a lucky guy her boyfriend is gonna be”. Baekhyun took a sharp breath. He felt like it was a mistake to call Minho. Now, he felt even smaller than he did a minute ago.
“Minho, do you ever wish you were dating her instead of me?” he couldn't help but ask. After all, his mother had introduced Minho to Taeyeon first, hoping they would hit it off. Minho didn't answer right away. Instead Baekhyun heard him take a deep breath. ‘Well shit! That wasn't a good time to take a deep breath and think, was it, Minho?’.
Finally, Minho spoke. “What are you talking about Baekhyun? Are you jealous of Taeyeon? Is it because she's getting a lot of attention and you're not? Well, don't let it out on me. It's not my fault your sister is doing great and her future is gonna be brighter than yours”. Now Baekhyun was just fuming. “What the fuck, Minho! I was just asking. I just don't particularly feel like you see the best in me! You don't make me feel like you appreciate me. News flash! That's what boyfriends do! I guess you wouldn't know because you're being an extremely shitty one right now!”. “Listen Baekhyun. You know I love you. But if you want my honest opinion, yes, I'm not particularly proud of your career choice. I think you could do better. Alright? Is that what you wanted to hear?!”. Baekhyun couldn't respond to that even if he wanted to. Tears were streaming down his cheeks. He expected Minho to apologise and take back what he said. But instead, he said, “Let's talk when you're in the proper frame of mind”. Then he hung up.
Baekhyun stood in the middle of his living room, speechless. He felt the need to throw stuff across the floor, starting with the cordless phone. Next was a glass he found on the table beside him, which he threw straight at the wall near his open balcony. He let out a frustrated scream. He had done nothing but please them, yet nobody appreciated him. He had always been a goody-two-shoes because he thought that would make his mother proud. Heck, he dated Minho because it made his mother happy. Now, Baekhyun began to question himself. Did he honestly accept to go out with Minho because he found him interesting? Did he really fancy himself in love with him? Or was he in love with the idea of being with a guy his mother wholly approved of? Was Minho his boyfriend because he fit the whole make-your-mama-proud charade he’d staged for over a decade? Has he ever done anything to make himself happy? Or has he wasted away years, god years, of his life trying to please the people around him, who had no idea who he was and doesn't care at all about what would make him happy?
Baekyun looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes appeared swollen and he had tear marks on his cheeks. He was still wearing his work clothes. From the corner of his eye he saw the bag with the outfit mark had arranged for him to wear to the Amnesia opening. Baekhyun replayed the conversation he had with Minho and his mother. He thought he felt sad, but the more he thought about it, he found himself feeling angry. He was angry at his mother for not treating him fairly. He was angry at his father for not standing up for him. He was angry at Taeyeon for competing with him all the time. He was angry at Minho for not being supportive, for not seeing the good in who he was and what he did. He was mad at himself for tolerating all of them, for letting himself down, for putting up with this crap for more that half his life. ‘When will I start putting up a fight?’. Baekhyun closed his eyes for a moment. ‘Enough!’. He clenched his fists and thought, ‘I’ve had fucking enough!’
He stripped off his clothes right in the middle of the living room. Then he opened the bag that Mark gave him. It had a pair of black leather pants, a plain white T-shirt and a dark green velvet jacket. He immediately put on the pants. They hugged his waist to perfection and his thighs looked impossibly thick. Feeling bold, Baekhyun decided to forego the T-shirt and wear only the velvet jacket. He zipped it up only halfway so that it showed his pale chest as well as his collarbones. Finally, he wore a pair of black leather boots.
Baekhyun stood in front of the full length mirror and looked at himself. He looked different. A good difference. He had to admit that Mark had flair. He untied his hair and ruffled it to make it look a little messy. He put on a lip tint and some blush. He added a little shimmery powder to his cheekbones and neck for an extra flair. He then put on the long and plain gold chain, an accessory that Mark had arranged to compliment the outfit. He put on his contacts which he was forced to get when he went shopping with Yerim and Jongin. Once finished, he smiled at himself. He looks exceptionally sexy tonight. He realised that he could be hot if he chose to.
He took a cab to Amnesia. Baekhyun decided he didn’t care anymore. He tried his best and so far, his mother and Minho never looked at him differently. He would never be as great as Taeyeon, and they would never respect him as much, so why die trying? For now, he wanted to feel free. He wanted to do something adventurous for himself. He remembered how when he was younger, he carried this angst-ridden, haunted spirit within him. His mother quickly dampened down any fire within him. Now he just wanted that spirit to come out. For just one night, Baekhyun wanted to feel alive.
Just for tonight, he didn’t want to be the prim, proper and boring Baekhyun his mother had created. He wanted to explore. Be free, be wild! He would unleash that spirit that was fighting to come out. Just for tonight, he would live as far away from Taeyeon as possible. Because tonight he would exist as his own person. And he was hot enough, and great enough just being himself.
Baekhyun went to Amnesia on a mission. He silently thanked Stella for insisting that he come here on his own and wear something daring. He wanted to kiss Mark for having the perfect timing and the perfect outfit for his little rebellion.
Baekhyun secured a place on the bar. Then he danced and drank. He didn’t care that he was alone. He felt free. He felt beautiful. He no longer acted just for the sake of writing an article about Amnesia. He did this for himself. And he didn’t care about what other people would say or think.
He ordered another shot of tequila. “That drink is on me,” Baekhyun heard someone beside him say to the bartender. “ I can pay for my own drink, dude” he responded in an annoyed voice, looking up at the guy beside him. Suddenly, the world stood still. The guy looked down at Baekhyun with the most bewitching pair of crystal blue eyes that he’d ever seen. “I know. But that’s not gonna stop me from buying you a drink,” he asserted confidently. Baekhyun didn't reply. He just sat there and… stared.
The man boyishly grinned at him. “You don’t look like the tequila type,” he said. Baekhyun shook himself back to reality. “I'm not really. Besides, who are you to care?” he asks, turning away from the man to stop himself from staring. The man’s face morphed into a bright smile, showcasing pearly white teeth and dimples on both sides (Baekhyun was internally squealing because of the dimples). He extended his hands towards Baekhyun. “Park Chanyeol,” he said.
Baekhyun just stared at the extended hand. “Nice to meet you, Park Chanyeol” he said and turned away to take his tequila shot. The world shook, but he held himself together. He didn’t want to make a fool of himself in front of the hottest guy he’s ever seen.
Chanyeol pulled back his hand and motioned for the waiter to bring him a beer. Amusement seemed to be written all over his face. Then he asked, “Aren’t you going to tell me your name?”.
Baekhyun contemplated whether he should give his name or not. Was the other even gonna remember him? Guys like Park Chanyeol often pretended to be interested in a person only to get into their pants. Baekhyun felt a hundred percent sure that Chanyeol wouldn’t remember him or his name the next morning. So, it didn’t really matter what name he gave.
Baekhyun turned around to look Chanyeol in the eyes. Then he held out his hand and said, “Nathaniel.”
He was racking his brain for a fake name to give when he heard someone call out the name Nathaniel in the background. He just hoped Chanyeol didn’t hear that person in the back. Chanyeol stared at him for a moment and then a smile crept onto his face.
“You truly are a gift of god,” Chanyeol said. Baekhyun looked at him with confusion written all over his face. Chanyeol chuckled at his expression. “Nathaniel means a gift of god in French” he said looking clearly happy with what he said. Baekhyun turned quickly and took another tequila shot. Chanyeol looked at him in amusement. His eyes practically danced in laughter. He could see that Baekhyun was a little tipsy. Chanyeol took one gulp of his beer. Then he leaned in closer and asked huskily, “Wanna dance?”.
First, Chanyeol had introduced himself to him and now he was asking Baekhyun if he wanted to dance. Any ordinary day, Baekhyun would squeal like a teenager, even if he didn’t want to. But he would die first before admitting to himself or to anyone that he was interested in Chanyeol. Without saying anything, Baekhyun stood up from his seat and went to the dance floor. Chanyeol followed him.
Baekhyun’s night of freedom couldn’t be more exciting. What could be a better addition to his rebellion than flirting with the city’s most eligible and sought after bachelor? Baekhyun swayed his body to the music and let the beat take over. He didn’t touch or look at Chanyeol. It was as if he couldn’t care less of Chanyeol’s existence even as he danced beside him.
When Baekhyun turned around, he noticed Chanyeol staring at him intensely. Slowly, he put his hands on Baekhyun’s hips and pulled him close. The atmosphere between them became more heated. They lost all the need for words. Before he knew it, Baekhyun had his arms around Chanyeol’s neck and his body close to him the way it has never been close to any stranger.
He was drunk and rebellious. He didn’t care when he felt warmth from those big hands on his bare skin. The minute their skin touched, Baekhyun could barely contain the electrifying thrill that ran down his spine. He was getting intoxicated on Chanyeol's musky and heady scent. His mind was reeling and he could barely breathe. Baekhyun turned around and pressed up against Chanyeol. This way they were impossibly closer and Baekhyun’s ass was right against Chanyeol’s crotch. Chanyeol’s grip tightened and Baekhyun was sure it was gonna bruise. They began swaying to the music and by now they were practically grinding against each other. Baekhyun could feel the huge bulge rubbing against his ass and he couldn’t help but let out a little whine. He didn’t have it in him to be embarrassed because of how horny he was. ‘God! How could I feel like this?’. This was truly gonna be an unforgettable night.