Chapter Text
In the beginning, there was nothing.
Earth was little more than a mote of dust, on a grain of sand upon an endless beach of oceans that went on for ever, for all of time. There was no beginning and no end, no up or down, no side to side. Time was of no consequence. No material worth because nothing was material.
Only the Beach now remained.
Floating.
Thoughts scattered... then reformed. Light sought to glow through closed eyelids - the webbed structure of capillaries showing vividly... whorls of blood vessels changing, shifting, condensing into unknown... then, familiar shapes.
Fragile, crisp suit and pixie -short hair, a cigarette from her lips.
She never smoked before. He never understood why she started until it was too late.
Then Lou. Tiny pudgy fingers, grabbing his. Toothed little smile as she pushed her clacker toy across the floor. Her laughter.
So far... so far away...
Faces he knew. Faces he wished he knew better. Faces that had gone so long he couldn't recall. All of them, swept up, drowned in a gulping, swallowing chasm of black oil.
Then there was a bang... and suddenly-
-Sam could finally see. Hear. Feel.
The coarse press of his bare skin against black sand. Cold lap of the waves against his heels. His head was turned, his neck aching, and he saw...
hundreds of bodies on the beach.
Whales, dolphins, birds, fish, crabs.
As far as the curve of the beach could go.
Only death
And Sam.
Stranded.
Bone white skeletons. Others, crawling with maggots and living rot.
Some time, eventually, he realized the voice that was screaming was his own.
A shadow bobbed and stretched across the black granules that made up the beach.
"Yoo-hoo? Y' still here?"
Sam curled away. Shut his eyes. Shut his ears.
He knew this voice.
It grated on every nerve. Cut him to the marrow.
"Sam the Man." A blustering sigh. "The Man Who Delivers. The Hero. An' look at you now. You're still here. Cryin' and pissin' in the sand."
Sam's teeth ground together. He choked out a word. It sounded like fuck you.
Higgs smiled. Sam couldn't see it, but he could imagine still what it looked like - how his lips stretched, his thin lips baring from polished white teeth. The gold fleck that glittered on his lips, that kohl'ed around his eyes.
How that mouth might even gape wide and swallow him whole, every waking moment. Every nightmare. Every time he closed his eyes.
Higgs circled around. His shadow blotted out the sallow, sickly sunlight.
Sam watched from the corners of his crusted eyes.
Higgs, in sweatpants and an old band tee-shirt. Barefoot. Hand on his hip like a disappointed mother finding her kid sleeping outside. No red jumpsuit, no mask. Not even the circus freak make-up. Sandy blond hair hanging limply in a breezeless world.
The man dropped down into a crouch, balanced on his bare toes, elbows on his thighs.
"You're here," Higgs said, intentional, serious, "to bear witness." He reached, and suddenly the man's hand was on his head. Pushing through his hair. Out of his eyes. "The world, as it was... it was never gonna be for us. We never get to start over."
The fallen Repatriate could not even summon the strength to argue.
"Huh? What's the matter with you? Is it Amelie?" Higgs scoffed. He dropped Sam's face back into the dirt. Then crowded over top of him, rolling him onto his back, forcing him to look up. "Fragile? Fragile was already dead, Sam. For a long fuckin' time. She just hadn't caught up with the fact. Or you mad about kiddo? Lu-cyyyy--"
Sam exploded.
"Don't you fucking say her name!"
His fist knocked hard into Higgs' cheek. Blood sprayed from it, peppering Sam's naked chest. Higgs grabbed him - pushing at his shoulders back down. Sam threw his leg up, nailing him with his knee; Higgs bit him on his shoulder, electric pain racing up his shoulder, down his back.
The two men, lone wayward spirits in the entire emptiness of the world, tangled on the dark sand.
Higgs gripped his neck under his jaw, headlocking him, having come out on top. Sam, exhausted and weakened, sprawled against the sand. Spittle and black ichor drooled down his stubbled chin. Inches away from his cheek, Higgs' bloodied teeth snarled.
"There he is. There's my big boy Sammy." Higgs spat onto the earth. Oily, black substance rose to the surface, reclaimed the gob of mucus and blood, and disappeared. "Can't get up the gumption to get a little spicy? Huh?"
"Geh'ofuhme," Sam choked, pitching his shoulder back. Then his legs. Tried to get his knees beneath him. Couldn't.
Higgs felt heavy and solid on on top of him. The heel of his hand pressed into the back of his neck, his hot breath stirring his half-dried, crusted hair.
"When'd you get so vanilla? Huh, baby boy?"
Sam's face was turning purple. Slowly, Higgs let go. Slapped the back of his head for good measure before he scuttled back to sit his butt into the sand. Sighed, leaning back on his hands, elbows strained.
"You got what you wanted," Sam mumbled. He curled up again, returning to the fetal position. "The fuck do you want from me?"
"You don't get to just... burn up and fade away." He reached for him again. "Not like everyone else. You an' me.... we're here for the long haul. But it isn't the end. You'll see."
Sam shut his eyes hard, tried hard to become deaf, and blind, and dead.
It wasn't the end.
God, I wish it was.