Chapter Text
Castiel couldn’t stop crying. He tried, he really, seriously did, but the tears just wouldn’t stop, leaving hot trails on his cheeks and tickling his chin where they pooled before dropping. As carefully as he could, he turned into the dirt road off the main street and cut off the engine. The police car behind him did the same and through his tear-filled eyes, he could see two officers sitting in the car. They talked for just a second longer before the one on the passenger side got out. Castiel knew he should do something – get his papers ready, his driver’s license out of his wallet, damn, even just putting the window down – but right now he couldn’t think of any of these basic steps. Shaking slightly, he closed his eyes and took deep breaths, trying to calm down. He needed to stop crying.
The knock on his window, even though logically to be expected, made him jump. He quickly wiped at his eyes and down his face. It was in vain, he knew; but it was a reflex, nothing else. Pushing the button to open the window, nothing happened and shaking his head to clear it, he fumbled with his keys to start the engine just enough to get all the electronics in the car started again. Once the window was far enough down, he shut off the engine again.
“Morning, Sir,” a deep voice said. “Do you know why we pulled you over?”
“Was … was I speeding?” Castiel replied, his voice barely in check. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I did, I tried … I –”
“No, Sir, not at all,” the deep voice interrupted him. “Quite on the contrary.”
For the first time, Castiel turned his head, looking at the officer outside his window. At the far back of his mind, the part for rational thoughts, he took note that the man seemed to be about his age and was most definitely easy on the eye. However, hitting on a cop was far off his list of things he wished to do at this moment. He also noticed how the cop’s gaze softened slightly when Castiel turned towards him, most likely because of the mess his face must have been, tears still running and eyes certainly red-rimmed, cheeks blotchy.
“Sir, are you alright?”
There was only one right answer to this, of course. Technically, he shouldn’t be driving in his condition, so obviously he should assure the cop he was fine and was mentally able to drive. Instead, the question just broke him.
Sobs ripped out of him, tears falling anew. He wasn’t sure, but he thought he pushed out a “No,” through all the sobbing. God, how had his life turned upside down in just under three hours? Mushu being attacked by a dog, maybe dying. His asshole of a boss firing him because of twelve damn minutes. And then Luc, that cheating bastard … this was all too much. And now this. He just wanted to go home and never get out of bed again.
“Sir, would you please step out of your car.”
Castiel wasn’t sure if this was the first time the cop had asked him that. He wasn’t even sure how long he’d been crying in front of him. Not questioning as to why he should step out, he just followed the order. His feet felt wobbly and damn, yes, he shouldn’t have been driving. As it was, he was in no condition to do it safely, what had he been thinking? The answer was he hadn’t been. He’d just needed to get away from his boyfriend’s place, had needed to run away from that picture, the picture of this other guy in the queen-size bed …
Strong arms folded around him and his head landed on a firm shoulder, warmth and a soothing scent enfolding him. For just a second, all of Castiel’s thoughts came to a halt, before finally, fully crashing down on him. Whatever last hold he’d had on his emotions broke completely. Clinging to the man whose name he didn’t even know, Castiel cried and let it all out.
It took him quite a while before he realized that a hand was slowly rubbing up and down his back, spreading warmth through his body. And even longer until the soft murmurs and words reached his ear. It was mostly just comforting noises, mingled with some, “It’ll be okay,” and, “Mushu’ll be fine,” and, oh. How did the guy knew his cat’s name? Seemed like he’d babbled it all out instead of just replaying the pictures in his head.
Well, that was embarrassing.
On the other hand, probably no more embarrassing than crying in a stranger’s arms.
Castiel had lost all concept of time, only realizing he was calming down when he felt his heartbeat slowing until it was in sync with the heart he was pressed against; not yet feeling comfortable enough to pull back, but already conscious enough again to grasp the gravity of the situation.
He was enveloped in a stranger’s arms.
A stranger that was a police officer.
A police officer that was a guy.
And he was crying like no one’s business.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s alright. We all need a hug sometimes.”
Huffing out a chuckle, Castiel finally pulled away. The loss of warmth made him shiver, but at least his tears seemed to finally have run dry.
“I’m Officer Dean Winchester. What’s your name?”
“Castiel Novak. And I really am sorry if I was speeding.”
“You weren’t, as I said,” Officer Winchester replied. “You were going so slow my partner and I wanted to check if … everything was okay.”
The slight pause sounded suspicious, but quite frankly, Castiel was too emotionally drained to care what the real reason was. He was just glad they’d stopped him before anything had happened.
“You know you shouldn’t be driving when … your mind is … not in the game, right?”
A smile tugged at Castiel’s lips. The way the officer tried to word everything so carefully was endearing. But yes, of course he was right.
“I’m sorry. I admit I wasn’t thinking. I just … I just needed to get away from …” Godamnit, he’d thought his eyes had run dry. The fresh tears that threatened to spill over told a different story.
The warm hand that landed on his shoulder grounded him slightly and when he looked back up, warm green eyes helped him focus. “Where do you live?”
It was another fifteen minutes to Castiel’s place and he could really kick himself for ever being so dumb. God, what if he’d hurt someone while driving with his mind unfocused?
“That’s not too far,” Officer Winchester concluded. “But you’re in no fit state to drive. Do you have anyone to pick you up?”
Wasn’t it just sad that Castiel had to shake his head at this? Sure, he had friends in town, but unlike him, they all still had a job and he wasn’t close enough to any that he would ask them to leave work for him.
“Okay, wait here a second.”
The warm hand left his shoulder. While Officer Winchester made his way back to the patrol car, Castiel slowly leaned back against the side of his car, closing his eyes. A serious headache was starting to pound against his forehead and right eye.
“Alright,” the deep voice startled him as the cop got back. “Get in. I’ll drive you home.”
“Ehm, what?”
Officer Winchester’s melodic chuckle was somewhat soothing for Castiel. “Just talked to my partner and it’s decided. Jump in.”
Drained and simply too done to argue, Castiel did as he was told. As he got in on the passenger side of his own car, Officer Winchester was already adjusting the seat and mirror and then started the engine. He backed out of the dirt road, his partner in the patrol car waiting for them back on the main road.
The first few minutes of their drive were quiet. Castiel could feel the officer glance at him out of the corner of his eyes now and then. Yet, it was Castiel himself that broke the silence.
“You won’t get in trouble for this, right?”
“What? Not giving you a ticket for driving while not fully there?”
“No,” Castiel replied, looking at the man next to him. “Driving me home. What if you and your partner are needed right now?”
“Well, we are needed right now, aren’t we?” the officer asked, giving him a smile that had another grin tugging at Castiel’s lips.
“Thank you then, I guess.”
There was another stretch of silence before the cop broke it this time. “Would you like to talk about it?”
“How much did you get out of my babbling earlier?”
Another glance, probably to see how emotionally stable Castiel was right now. To his surprise, he felt a lot calmer after letting it all out.
“Uhm, just enough to know you had a really bad day?”
A dark laugh came out of Castiel without him being able to control it. “Well, that’s an understatement.” Resting his head against the cool window of the passenger door, Castiel tried to retell it all without tearing up once more. “My cat, his name is Mushu, is an outdoor cat, but usually just in my backyard. This morning when I got the mail, I wasn’t careful enough and he slipped out. We have a dog down the street that is quite aggressive and of course they just happened to walk him past my house this morning. I don’t know what or how exactly it happened, but the next thing I knew was the woman screaming at me to get my cat away from her dog. But …” Damn, no more crying. “The dog had him …” Instead of saying it, Castiel moved his hand to his own throat, showing what had happened. He felt fresh tears well as he saw in his mind’s eye poor Mushu being shaken like a ragdoll. “I don’t know how I got the dog to stop, but all the time the woman was screaming at me, telling me it was my fault for letting my cat out.”
“It’s not,” the officer interrupted, looking over. “Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt. But if you wanna press charges, just say it.”
“I might,” Castiel whispered, unsure and not in the right headspace to think about it. Instead, he continued. “When we got to the vet, Mushu was seen to right away.” Castiel remembered speaking to the young and very tall vet. He couldn’t remember his name, although it felt like it was just at the tip of his tongue. “They are doing all they can, but he is still in intensive care and in a very critical condition. The vet said I can’t do anything for him right now. I couldn’t call in sick however much I wanted to, because for weeks now, my boss has been searching for any and every excuse to fire me. Well,” Castiel added bitterly. “Seems like he got what he wanted after all. I swear, I was only twelve minutes late, but it was all the ammunition he needed after weeks of harassing me, trying to get me to quit …” Castiel shook his head slowly, anger rising inside of him. “Only good thing is that I hated the job anyway.” He hadn’t been in that awful office for long, but it felt like 40 years in hell. Maybe it was for the best. Only his wallet wouldn’t think so until he found something new. “So, already panicked about Mushu and now without any secure income, I thought I would pay my boyfriend a visit, tell him what had happened, get some sympathy …” Castiel tried, but he absolutely couldn’t retell that story. It hurt so much to even think about it. He’d been cheated on and most likely not only once. Not only as a slip-up. No, his boyfriend seemed completely comfortable with his … the other guy as well.
“Well, ex-boyfriend now.”
“No second chances?”
There was a certain way to how Officer Winchester asked his question, yet Castiel didn’t know what to make of it. He shook his head. “No. This wasn’t just a random thing. And even if it was … cheating is cheating.”
They were both quiet after that. But they didn’t have to wait long before Winchester turned onto his street.
“That one there,” Castiel pointed. “The one with the blue door.”
“Alright, Hugh Grant.”
Castiel noticed Officer Winchester’s ears turn bright red. After everything the man had done for him, the least Castiel could do was not to comment on that slip of tongue, just huffing an uncontrolled chuckle. Once the car was parked in his driveway, he got out and walked around to where the officer was getting out as well.
“You okay now?” The man asked, his voice still full of concern.
Just like before, Castiel had no other choice but to be honest with the man. “No. But I’ll survive. Thank you so much for your help.”
“You’re very welcome,” Officer Winchester answered, handing over the keys. “And if you decide on pressing charges against that dog lady, don’t hesitate to report to the police station. Ehm … you can ask for me. After all, I know all the details now …”
The way the man’s ears only got redder was quite endearing. However, Castiel was tired and emotionally drained and all he wanted to do was to get inside. Instead of engaging the officer in further conversation, he only nodded. “Thanks. I’ll think about it.”
A horn honked, making them both jump.
“I should go. I wish you all the best with … everything. Mushu, mostly, but yeah, the rest as well, and … yeah. Bye.”
“Goodbye, Officer Winchester.”
Castiel watched as the man that most likely counted as his hero of the day made his way back to his waiting partner. He was still standing in the driveway when the patrol car left their street, only slowly coming back to reality and wondering what else this awful day had in store for him.
Dean let himself fall in the passenger seat of the patrol car and let out a heavy breath. Jesus, what had he been thinking, just giving someone a ride home while he was on duty? But the poor guy had looked so miserable. And Dean was eighty percent sure he hadn’t even realized he’d spilled his guts about his shitty day while crying his eyes out. What should Dean have done? Okay, so he knew what the rules stated he should have done – making sure the guy didn’t continue driving, maybe call a cab or someone that could help him – but seriously. It wasn’t as if the guy needed even more trouble after what he’d been through.
After a long moment, Dean realized that they weren’t moving, so he looked over towards his partner. All he found was Benny smirking at him.
“What?” Maybe he should’ve tried to sound less defensive. Because all that did was to make Benny smirk even wider. “Oh, shut up. You’d done the same if you’d’a heard the whole story.”
“Sure, whatever you say, brotha,” Benny replied in a kind of sing-song-voice, as much as that was possible with his deep rumbling voice and Southern accent. At least he finally started the car and got them back on patrol.
But Dean should have been more suspicious. After all, Benny was a pain in the ass when it came to things like this. It only took until they were out of the neighborhood and back on the main road. “So, I take it he was sexy enough to be worth the risk of getting a warning?”
Groaning, Dean let his head fall against the headrest of his seat, ignoring the deep chuckling and ribbing from his partner. This was going to be a long patrol.
It was already somewhere in the early afternoon when Castiel was finally able to calm down. He called the vet to check on any updates on Mushu, but his fluffball was still under observation. Knowing he couldn’t do anything to change that situation and with no desire to think about Luc right now, he took care of his third problem: jobs.
Thankfully, he still had enough vacation time from his former job, which forced the douchebag of a boss to pay him for another four weeks. That left him a bit of time to search for something new.
Spending the rest of the afternoon searching for any possible jobs that were even remotely close to what he would be capable of doing, Castiel was able to send out the first applications. He could only hope he would find something. And soon.
That night, all he managed was a fitful sleep, missing Mushu’s soft purring a great deal more than Luc’s light snoring.
Dean strode into his brother’s office, winking at the cute receptionist. As always, the girl blushed and looked away. Chuckling to himself, Dean approached her. However, before he could even start to flirt, one of the exam rooms opened and a dog scrambled out, pulling their owner after them with all their strength. The owner was followed by a tall man with way too much hair, giving him a few more pointers on whatever was wrong with his furry friend. Once he’d said goodbye, the vet came over to the reception to check for the next file, only to find his brother waiting for him.
“Dean, what are you doing here?”
“Nice to see you too, Sammy.”
His brother didn’t even try to hide his annoyed sigh while he checked over the next patient’s file. They both knew how busy it was right now for Sam while one of his partners was on maternity leave and the second one was in the hospital after an accident. He only occasionally got help from a companioned vet office on the other side of town. Other than that, he had to handle all the workload alone or even send clients away. A fact he hated more than working overtime.
“Would you just spill why you’re here? The waiting room is bursting.”
In lieu of an answer, Dean held up a bag from Panera Bread, and instantly, he could see Sam relax and a grateful smile spreading over his brother’s face. “You’re a lifesaver.”
“I know. Eileen called. She’s too busy running from one meeting to another, so I took over the ‘feed the giant’ duty.” Handing the bag over, he dropped the mocking tone. It was replaced by real concern. “Sam, you really need to take more care –”
“I know, Dean, I know. But Kevin will be back soon and even Amelia’s maternity leave isn’t much longer. Besides, Meg’s here today to help out.”
Dean couldn’t say he was the biggest fan of the sarcastic, mouthy vet, but if she could take a bit of the burden from Sam’s shoulders, he wouldn’t complain. As if summoned by her name – and it was a possibility, because Dean was still convinced she might be a demon in disguise – the door to another exam room opened and the petite doctor with dark curly hair stepped out. Over her shoulder, she was talking to the owner of her own patient, who stepped out of the room right after her.
Dean’s mouth nearly dropped to the floor.
It was none other than “Bad Day”-guy, as Benny so eloquently had named him.
Castiel Novak was hugging a red tabby against his chest, listening intently to what the doctor had to say. There was a thick, white bandage around the cat’s middle and neck and one of the front paws was wrapped as well. Even while hugging him close, Dean could tell that Castiel was making damn sure not to hurt his cat.
A snap in front of his eyes made Dean jump. Sam was looking at him with a funny expression, but the good thing about his brother’s packed schedule was the fact that he didn’t have time to call Dean out on his weird behavior. Instead, he thanked him again for lunch before hurrying off to the next sick pet. By then, Castiel and Meg had made their way over to the reception. They shook hands and with only a wink and a smirk in Dean’s direction, Meg took the next file and hurried off as well. Sonofabitch, these two really had a busy schedule if Meg didn’t even have time or energy to give him a snarky greeting. Not that Dean would complain.
It took him a second to realize that he was now in his brother’s vet office without any reason to be here, stupidly standing around like some sort of decoration. He should have left the moment his brother had. Or at least once Meg had done so. Instead, he was standing at the reception, looking at the man he had let cry against his shoulder just two days ago. The man he had absolutely not thought about ever since. Not at all. Because that would’ve been downright stupid.
Castiel finished up making a new appointment and turned to leave – only to do a double-take once he spotted Dean.
“Oh, hello.”
“Hey,” Dean replied and waved.
Jesus, what was wrong with him? He had just waved at a guy standing not even an arm’s length away from him. No wonder what followed was a kind of awkward silence, until Dean cleared his throat, pointing at the cat. “So. I take it Mushu is doing better?”
No, you fucking idiot. Mushu died and the guy had bought a new cat not even 48 hours later. Of course, Mushu is doing better. Get it together, man.
While Dean berated himself for losing his cool in front of this guy, Castiel merely smiled and directed a loving gaze at his cat. “Yes. I was allowed to pick him up yesterday. Today we had his first check-up, and he’s doing alright.”
“That’s good to hear. Ever thought about pressing charges?” Thank God, his normal voice and confidence were back.
The man’s blue eyes met his. “I’m … actually not sure. With everything else going on … Well, I was just glad he made it out alive.”
As if needing the reassurance, he hugged the tabby just a bit closer. Then he looked back at Dean. “So, what kind of pet do you have?”
“Huh?” Great, back to ineloquent.
“Your pet? I mean, we’re at a vet …”
“Oh, right. Yeah, no. No, I don’t have a pet,” Dean replied, almost stumbling over his words. He cleared his throat, forcing himself to finally calm down. “Just dropping off some lunch for my brother.”
He could see the moment Castiel connected the two names because his eyes went wide and his ears turned a bit red. “Winchester, of course,” was all he mumbled.
Mushu chose that moment to struggle and to prevent him from falling to the floor, Castiel had to carefully readjust his grip on him, pulling him close to his chest again. As he whispered to his friend, Dean’s eyes fell on the wrist that was now exposed and his eyes widened. “What the hell happened there?”
Looking first at Dean and then following his line of sight, Castiel must have noticed what had drawn the cop’s attention, as he hastily tried to cover it without losing hold on his cat. “Ehm, nothing.”
“Dude, that’s not nothing.” Dean had been working as a police officer for far too long to not recognize bruises inflicted by another person when he saw them. He looked back at Castiel’s face and noticed how uncomfortable the man had gotten. No wonder. They were still standing in the middle of a vet office full of nameless people, Dean himself still a stranger to Castiel. And why did Dean even already refer to the guy on a first name base in his head?
Determined, Dean waved goodbye to the receptionist and turned around. Holding open the door, he waited for Castiel – Mr. Novak! – to take the invitation and follow him. Hesitating for a moment, the man did just that.
Once they were outside on the sidewalk, Dean stopped but didn’t push the guy.
“It’s nothing, really,” Mr. Novak finally blurred out. “I was just being stupid, is all.”
Dean didn’t reply right away. He knew there was more to the story, but he couldn’t exactly force the man to open up to him. At least, he was able to get back into his work-headspace, which helped him to act normal around the guy. He was a trained cop and things like this were what he was good at. Mr. Novak still wouldn’t look at him or give him any explanation, but he also didn’t leave. Dean took it as a good sign.
“Mr. Novak,” (and kudos to him for being a professional and not call him Castiel) “you obviously don’t have to tell me. I’m not even on duty right now.” Which wasn’t exactly true; as a cop, one was always on duty to some degree. “I would just like to know you’re alright.”
Pulling Mushu a bit closer for a moment, most likely seeking the comfort of his cat, Mr. Novak looked back at him. “I’m okay, really. It was just … well, I tried …” Sighing deeply, the man took a second, looking everywhere but Dean, before finally explaining. “I went to my ex’s place this morning to drop off his stuff and to get my own things. But he wouldn’t let me in unless I agreed to talk to him about what had happened. I have zero desire to do so. I don’t care when or for how long or even why – he cheated on me, end of story.”
Dean nodded at that. He remembered Mr. Novak telling him that on the car ride and he could absolutely understand the man’s decision.
“I told Luc as much, but he still wouldn’t let me in. So, I tried to leave and … he grabbed me, told me I had to give him a second chance; that I couldn’t just leave him like that.” Tears started to form in the guy’s eyes. “I’ve never been scared of him until that moment. I was able to rip my wrist out of his grip and leave. But now …”
Dean took a moment to take in all of this information.
“So, he still has your stuff?”
Mr. Novak only nodded in reply and damn, what was it about this guy that Dean constantly thought about how best to help him?
“You need someone to help you pick it up?”
He could read disbelief in the man’s eyes, but also hope. “You mean …?”
Dean only shrugged. Hell, he’d already broken a work rule for this man. Obviously, he could help him out with this as well. “Sure. I mean, why not?”
“I … I couldn’t ask you to do this.”
“Yeah, well. You’re not asking,” Dean gave back with a soft smile. “I’m offering.”
There were a few moments of silence between them while the man looked at him as if he was trying to find answers to all his questions in Dean’s eyes. Whatever he had found in them, he finally nodded. “Okay.”
Castiel couldn’t believe this was happening. Actually, he couldn’t believe anything that had happened over the last two days. It was surreal – like someone else’s life.
He’d always loved order, continuity, and routine. His job as an accountant might have been boring, but at least it had given him a routine and stability. As had his cat and even his relationship with Luc. They had set times when they would call and meet; which, yeah, now that he thought about had probably been ideal for Luc to cheat on him during all the times that Castiel was occupied elsewhere. Yet, Castiel wasn’t delusional enough to think it was his fault or his preference for routine. After all: if someone wanted to cheat, they always found a way.
Suddenly, everything had turned upside down within such a short time frame. At least Mushu was alright again. And he had sent out a thick stack of applications, hoping to hear back from at least one of the companies sometime soon. The incident at Luc’s this morning had shaken him up, he wouldn’t lie about that. Now this nice officer had offered to once again play his personal hero. To come with him to get his things. He had no idea why, but looking at Dean Winchester – and he still couldn’t believe he hadn’t been able to make the connection to his vet’s name sooner – he was sure that the man was simply the type of human being that lived to help people. He was a cop, after all. And if he was even remotely as kind as Sam Winchester, Castiel wasn’t surprised at all that he was such a Samaritan.
Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Castiel had agreed, which led to the current situation of him being back in front of his ex’s apartment, Dean Winchester by his side. They were each holding a basket that Officer Winchester had in the back of his car for spontaneous shopping trips, as well as three plastic bags from Castiel’s own trunk. He had used the drive over from the vets mentally going through the apartment of his boyfriend of almost two years and trying to remember what he’d left there. He just hoped the containers would be enough because the last thing Castiel wanted was to have to come back again.
“You sure it’s okay for me to use his key? This won’t be trespassing?” Castiel hadn’t been sure this morning, so instead of just walking in (and possibly finding his ex once more in bed with another), he’d knocked. Now, however, he had a cop by his side.
Officer Winchester gave him an encouraging nod. “He gave you the key willingly and you’re only here to pick up your own stuff, not to steal or break anything. Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.”
“Okay,” Castiel breathed out. He took two more deep breaths before unlocking the door. The key turned twice, a clear sign that Luc wasn’t home. Sighing in relief, he pushed the door open and stepped insight, followed by the officer. The man let out a low whistle, obviously taking in the size of the apartment.
“Wow, what does your ex do for a living? Sell drugs?”
A nervous chuckle left Castiel, but he could feel how some of his tension left him just knowing Officer Winchester was by his side and he wasn’t here alone. “Close.” When the cop’s eyes snapped back towards him, he laughed for real, hurrying to explain before the man would call for reinforcement and put Luc in jail. Not that Castiel was really opposed to that idea at the moment. “He’s a programmer and specialized in game apps for smartphones. Seeing how everybody plays them, I’d say it’s as good as selling drugs.”
That got a huffed laugh out of the cop and to Castiel’s surprise, all he could do was smile in return. Until he remembered why he was here. Sobering, he looked around, lost as to where he should start. He knew he didn’t have that much time. Luc’s office was here in his apartment; most likely his ex was just out for some grocery shopping. At least he hoped the guy wasn’t that big an asshole to be out in the middle of the day to get his next hookup.
A soft hand landed on his shoulder and only when he stopped did he realize he’d been shaking slightly. Looking into the green eyes of his personal hero, he felt himself calm down. He didn’t even question his reaction to the man that sent him a warm smile. “I can’t help you much, obviously. But why don’t you start here in the living room and then work your way from room to room?”
Good, yes, a plan, very good. Exactly what Castiel needed right now. Inhaling slowly, he nodded once, sending the man a grateful, yet tight smile that didn’t quite reached his eyes. The hand left his shoulder and he finally got to work.
After a few minutes, they decided that Castiel would just put all the stuff in a pile and Officer Winchester would use his time to neatly sort it all into the baskets. That saved Castiel some precious seconds, even though he felt a tad weird to have the man do the work for him. But he had offered and Castiel really had more problems to think about right now. One being the constant fear of another confrontation with Luc.
Castiel couldn’t believe how much of his stuff had found its way to Luc’s apartment in just a little over twenty-one months. Some books, a few DVDs, his favorite blanket. A notebook and even a jigsaw puzzle he’d wanted to complete with Luc but never found the time for. In the bathroom were the usual supplies, although Castiel left most of it behind. Who knew if Luc hadn’t let his hookups use those things. The thought made him shudder.
He knew for a fact that there had hardly been any stuff of Luc’s at his house; one small box he’d bought apples in at the last farmer’s market had been enough to carry it all over. His ex didn’t like cats so he had hardly ever bothered to make the trip to Castiel’s house. It had mostly been Castiel coming over to Luc’s. In fact, it had always been him to put more into this relationship than Luc; him that had given in when Luc wanted something; him that had made a real effort for this relationship to work. The monotonous task of going through the dresser drawer by drawer gave Castiel enough time to really think about their situation and it suddenly really hit him. How one-sided this whole relationship had been. And it had been Luc who had set all the rules for them, never even asking what Castiel wanted. Even their times to meet had been decided on by him and while Castiel loved routines, come to think of it now, he would have liked to spend more time with his boyfriend than three lunch dates during the week and the weekends together at the apartment.
There were many other things, little ones Castiel only now realized, but he refused to think about them while he packed his underwear. Thankfully, the bedroom was the last room.
He was almost done when he heard it.
“Who the fuck are you?”
Freezing, Castiel listened for just a moment before grabbing the last shirt and stuffing it into the bag. He’d already double checked everything, knowing he would hate to realize someday he was missing his favorite shirt or even just a pair of boxer shorts. He’d thrown it all down on the carpet, ignoring the damn bed, so now that every item of clothing was gone from the floor and stuffed into the two bags, he could be sure he had everything. And just in time, it seemed.
“I’m Dean Winchester.” Castiel noticed Officer Winchester had left out the fact that he was an officer. Of course he did. He was off duty and Castiel had no idea how legal it was for him to even be here. Shit, would this get the man into trouble?
“And what the fuck are you doing in my apartment?”
“Helping a friend.”
This was probably the weirdest moment to smile, but hearing the cop calling him a friend had this insane effect on Castiel. It was stupid, because obviously Officer Winchester would call him that. What else was he supposed to say? “I’m helping this weird dude I’ve only met for the second time today and he seems incapable of surviving on his own, so I felt the need to help him”? Yeah, no, “friend” was easier.
There was a moment of silence, and then, “Castiel!”
It certainly wasn’t a question directed towards Winchester. No, it was a yell for Castiel to show himself. Remembering their confrontation this morning, a cold shiver ran down his spine. But Castiel refused to be intimidated by the cheating bastard. Besides, he wasn’t alone this time. Taking the two bags in one hand, he left the bedroom, heading straight for the open living room where Officer Winchester was waiting for him. Luc intercepted him just as he left the hallway.
“What the hell, Cassie?”
“Don’t call me that. You know how much I hate it.” He’d always despised the name and he couldn’t believe he’d let this man call him that for all these months. God, this had been such a one-sided relationship. How had he never noticed it?
Luc was red in his face, fuming. “And you had no right to come in here.”
“Actually, he had,” Officer Winchester threw in, already stacking the two baskets, ready to pick them up so they could leave any second.
Turning towards the man behind him, Luc spat out, “You shut up, this is none of your business. Who even is this guy?” The last part was directed at Castiel.
“Didn’t he tell you? This is Dean –” it felt a bit weird using the man’s first name, but he couldn’t very well call him “Officer Winchester” when he was about to add, “he’s a friend of mine.”
“And how come I’ve never met this friend?”
“Well, maybe you would have,” Castiel spat back, furious now rather than intimidated, “if you hadn’t used all your free time to fuck around and cheat on me.”
Luc’s whole demeanor changed at once and Castiel knew just a few days back he would’ve fallen for Luc turning soft and giving him a loving gaze. But now it all felt so wrong. It was so forced, so fake that he couldn’t believe he’d ever been taken by the guy. Even his voice was all wrong. “Oh, Castiel. Please, Sweetheart. You know that’s not true. This thing the other day? It was a one-time slip up. Baby, you know that.” As he reached for him, Castiel flinched away and sidestepped him so as not to be cornered in the hallway any longer. This reaction broke Luc’s fake façade and the angry and quite frankly scary person Castiel had seen this morning was back.
“Really, Cassie? You’re not even giving me a second chance?”
Not dignifying him with an answer, Castiel went over to where Dean was waiting and picked up the third bag. Thankfully, all his belongings had fit into the two baskets and three plastic bags.
“Oh, oh I see,” Luc spat out in a mocking tone. “You already have a new guy, huh? Tell me, Cassie: how long have you been spreading your legs for him? Huh? How long have you been cheating on me?”
Castiel froze, not able to comprehend he’d really heard that. It was Dean’s steady grip on his arm that helped him not to break down and cry or jump Luc and punch him or any other possible scenario in between. Dean glared over Castiel’s shoulder, directly at the other man. “You’re a pathetic excuse for a human being. And even more so if you think Castiel would stoop to your level and cheat.”
Amazingly, hearing his own first name out of Dean’s mouth soothed him further, and combined with the warm presence, Castiel was able to stay calm. Without looking back, he let Dean steer him in the direction of the front door. The cop picked up the two baskets and followed Castiel, who had just enough brainpower left to throw the spare key to Luc’s apartment on the little table right by the entrance before leaving his ex for good.
Or at least he thought so.
“This isn’t over Cassie. You’ll come back to me, we both know it.”
They could still hear him, even though Castiel had pulled the door shut after Dean. He wanted to lean against the wall to catch his breath, but the cop nudged him in the side carefully, telling him without words that it was best to get as much space between them and the psycho as possible.
The fresh air was a welcome relief, although Castiel still felt on edge. He’d never thought Luc would turn and say things like that to him. The man had never been a “boyfriend-of-the-year” type of guy, but they had been okay. At least Castiel had thought so.
He tried to open his car, but his hand was shaking and before he knew what was happening, Dean pulled him in his arms. The bags landed on the sidewalk as Castiel hugged back, clinging to this wonderful man once more, trying to calm himself. Taking a few steadying breaths, he slowly pulled back.
“I’m good, it’s okay. Thank you so much, Dean.” Realizing what he’d just said, he hurried to stumble out, “I mean, Officer Win –”
“Dean is fine,” the man in question interrupted, still holding on to Castiel’s arms as if to steady him. “I think after everything it’s only justified we’re on a first name basis.”
Castiel had no idea how this man did it, but he had him smiling again. It was only a soft huff and a barely-there smile, but it was much more than Castiel would have thought possible so soon after what had just happened upstairs.
“Alright, if you say so.” Taking one more calming breath, Castiel looked back up in Dean’s eyes. “Thank you for all this, Dean. I really, truly appreciate it.”
“It’s okay, Castiel.”
Able to control his hands at last, Castiel pulled out his keys and opened the trunk. They put all his stuff in and he closed the tailgate carefully so he wouldn’t jostle the car too much. Mushu was lying in his carrier on the front seat, hopefully resting and not pacing around.
Just like that, they had reached the moment of saying goodbye again. Strangely enough, it left a hollow feeling in Castiel’s guts.
“So …”
“Well then …”
Apparently, Dean was just as clueless about how to proceed as he was. Acting purely on instinct, Castiel finally blurted out, “So, you’re off duty today?”
Yeah, smart question, assbutt. No, of course, he’s just running around in jeans and flannel, helping idiots getting their stuff back, all while still on duty.
“Ehm, yeah. It’s my free day. Why?”
He’d been wrapped in this man’s arms twice already, crying his eyes out, and telling him the sad story of his life. There was no way Castiel could embarrass himself any further, so to hell with it.
“I was planning on trying this new pizza place that opened down my street. I mean, the least I can do to repay you is inviting you to an extra large meat lovers, right?”
Oh, smooth, very good. Nice save there, Castiel.
Dean, however, hesitated and Castiel deflated within nanoseconds. The guy was probably uncomfortable with an openly gay guy inviting him to an early dinner. Oh no, did it look like he’d wanted a date with him? He didn’t. Well, not right now. Wait, what?
“What about Mushu? You think it’s good for him to be alone for so long?”
Again: what?
“Ehm …”
“I mean,” Dean was quick to amend. “I would really like to join you. I was just worried about your cat. Wouldn’t it be better for him to be home?”
Dean was … worried about Mushu? That was … that was probably the sweetest thing ever. Most likely, it was also what made Castiel speak before he’d really thought about it. “Well, yes. Would you like to join me there?”
He could literally feel his ears getting warm and burning with embarrassment. Damn it!
“I mean … I mean we could get takeout at the pizza place and … ehm … don’t know. Maybe watch a movie together?”
God, what was wrong with him? Did he seriously invite a guy to his home he’d only just met?
“That depends. Do you have any good movies?”
“I have Netflix.”
“Then I’m in.”
Had the guy he’d only just met seriously just taken the invitation?
Grinning, Castiel huffed out a small laugh. So much for being a guy that loved continuity and routine.