Work Text:
Max
A wise man once said, ‘I learned about choices and consequences and responsibility. I learned that we all have choices, even when we don’t recognize them, and that those choices have consequences, not just for ourselves, but for others. We must assume responsibility for those consequences.’ It seems like Blackwell has been teaching me the same course he took.
I’ve had to make a lot of difficult choices these past few days; choices I never expected, choices I never even dreamed would be possible, choices with terrible consequences. At first, I thought that my new power let me see those consequences: do nothing, watch a girl die; trigger the fire alarm and she lives. Of course, life is never that simple, and it turned out that plenty of those consequences came further down the road, when it was beyond my ability to turn back time and choose differently.
I tried to choose well, to do what seemed like the right thing. I’d abandoned Chloe for so long, that when she was unexpectedly thrust back into my life it felt like the right thing to do was to choose her. Of course, that’s where it all started to go wrong. I was so focused on Chloe that I ignored Kate when she needed me, and when I did choose to help Kate it was too little, too late. That’s when I started to wonder if my power was less of a gift, and more like a curse.
At first, that feeling just made me more determined to use my powers for good. The best way to take responsibility for failing to save Kate was to find out what happened to her, and to Rachel; to stop it from happening to anyone else. With Chloe as my partner in crime, anything seemed possible. It was a rush being back with her; once we got past the initial awkwardness, it was almost like no time had passed since we last saw each other. Best friends forever.
Of course, that couldn’t last. Time and again, I would use my power to help with our investigation only to have something bad happen too late for me to see it coming. Choices and consequences. There’s only so many times you can watch someone you love die, even if you can bring her back every time. Somewhere along the line, getting justice for Kate and Rachel became secondary to simply keeping Chloe alive. As it turns out, I couldn’t even manage that.
The one thing that never changed in any of my timelines was the giant tornado coming in to destroy Arcadia Bay. The one from my vision in Jefferson’s photography class. The one that’s my fault. The one I had no idea how to fix. Well, no acceptable idea. Chloe knew it too, and she went all Spock on me – ‘the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few… or the one.’ I might be okay with sacrificing the town to save her, but she wasn’t. It was time to take responsibility for those consequences.
That gave me the opportunity for one last happy choice. Hearing the way she described our week together, how much it meant to her, gave me the courage to do what I’d been wanting to do for days. I kissed Chloe for the second, and last, time. Unlike the first, this wasn’t a quick peck; I poured everything I had into it. And this time, Chloe kissed me back, meeting my lips with equal fervor.
I’m not sure how long we stood there, arms wrapped around each other, while the apocalypse raged behind us; somewhere between a heartbeat and eternity. Eventually Chloe drew back, pressing the photograph into my hand; sensing that if we waited any longer, I wouldn’t have the strength to do this. “I’ll always love you,” she said, although I could barely hear it over the howling of the storm. “Now, get out of here, please! Do it before I freak.” Moving away, she called out to me one last time “And Max Caulfield? Don’t you forget about me!”
“Never!” I shouted back. Not trusting myself to look her in the eye, I turned away and walked towards the precipice. It felt like I was standing on the edge of the world as the massive tornado obliterated everything in front of me. I held up the Polaroid, fighting an almost overwhelming urge to tear it up and hurl it at the storm. “Goodbye, my love,” I whispered to myself as I focused on the photo. The world shifted…
…and I found myself back in the bathroom at Blackwell. Startled by my camera, the iridescent blue butterfly took flight. I simply slumped down, my back against the stall, arms around my knees, and waited for the inevitable. Of all the things I’d been through in the past week, this was going to be the hardest. To just do… nothing. Responsibility, as Chloe would say, hella sucks.
Nathan came in, trying to keep his cool, shortly followed by Chloe. They talked, they argued, they both freaked out, and then… BANG. Instinctively, my right hand flew up, wanting to take back my earlier decision, to save Chloe, and to hell with the town and responsibility. The universe, however, had other plans. Nothing happened. My rewind power was gone.
I climbed to my feet and peered cautiously around the corner at a raving Nathan flailing around the bathroom. A moment later, David burst in, surveyed the scene for a moment, and then tackled him to the ground. The boy’s head hit the tiled floor with a satisfying crunch. Ignoring them, I rushed over to my friend, kneeling on the floor beside her. “Oh, Chloe, I’m so sorry.”
“Max?” she asked weakly, “You came back?” Then she coughed, bringing up blood. I wiped it away and then, unsure what to do, took one of her hands in mine and leaned over so that she could see me more clearly. In he background I could vaguely hear David shouting into his phone.
“Yes,” I replied, “something I should have done a long time ago. Maybe it wasn’t my choice to leave, but I still felt responsible for abandoning you when you needed me most, that I didn’t deserve to have you as a friend any more. But please believe me that I never, not for one second, forgot about you. I love you so much.”
“I… I love you too.” She coughed again. “Always have.” I bent forward and kissed her tenderly on the cheek. When I pulled back I could see a faint smile, and then her eyes closed and her head lolled to the side. Just like that, she was gone – and this time I had no way to bring her back.
I wanted nothing more that to just stay there and hold onto Chloe’s hand, but I had other, unfinished business. I might not be Super-Max any more, I thought, but if I can’t save Chloe, Kate, and Rachel, you can be damn well sure I’ll avenge them. I could almost hear Chloe’s voice, like a ghost in the back of my head, go get ’em, Iron Max!
The door opened again, cops and paramedics pouring in. I drew back, letting them get to Chloe, but I already knew it was far too late. I sat down in a corner and Office Berry came over to talk to me. I told him what happened, but I also added some of Nathan’s supposed ramblings – ‘Mr. Jefferson,’ ‘Kate in the Dark Room,’ ‘just like Rachel in the junkyard,’ and ‘beneath the barn.’
I hoped that these clues would lead them where I wanted them to go, before… he… could hurt anyone else, but there was nothing more I could do. Eventually, someone helped me up and guided me towards the exit. When they opened the door, there was nothing there but a bright light. I stepped into it, the world shifted…
…and I was up by the lighthouse again, sitting on the bench and staring out at a beautiful sunset. No storm, no beached whales, and no Chloe. At last, the floodgates opened, unleashing a lifetime of tears. I don’t know how long I stayed there, wracked by deep, uncontrollable sobs, but it was pitch dark by the time I came to my senses.
Finally, I took my phone out to check my messages. Quickly scanning through them, I could see that the police had discovered the Dark Room, found Rachel’s body, and caught Jefferson. I also had a message from Kate, thanking me for talking her down off the roof. That’s one life saved, along with who knows how many more who were fated to die in that tornado. If only the price hadn’t been so high…
The double meaning of that last thought made me snigger for a moment, before I started crying again. Still, my reaction gave me hope. Hope that one day I would be able to think of Chloe and smile, to remember the good times rather than the tragic ending. Hope that I would eventually be able to come to terms with my choices and their consequences. Hope that taking responsibility would, perhaps, not destroy me after all.