Chapter Text
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Brienne looked at the clock on the wall and considered the time. It was 2:45 PM. In fifteen minutes her students would herd towards her desk and turn in their final exam before summer break officially started.
They weren’t the only ones longing for their much-awaited vacation. Brienne was exhausted. Since she became a literature professor at King’s Landing University eight years ago, she’d put heart and soul into her teaching; meticulously prepping all of her lesson plans and finding new ways for her students not to fall asleep during her afternoon lectures.
Brienne looked at the clock again. Time was up.
“Ok, everyone. Put your pencils down and leave your exams on my desk, please.” Some of the students started to groan with protests and grumbled by saying, “No!” and “I need more time!” Brienne sympathized, but she had to be strict; she knew that if she relented and gave them more time it would set an annoying precedent.
Papers landed unceremoniously on her desk as students bumped into each other, eager to be free of the stuffy room so they could enjoy the warm, summer sun on their skin. Brienne sighed. She knew it would be a few more days of grading papers before she could enjoy her time off also.
Brienne looked up as her last student handed in his paper. Rickon Stark, the son of her friend and mentor, Catelyn Stark, and the shyest of his five siblings. She had known Rickon since he was three years old, and still he had a hard time looking her in the eye. “Thanks, Rick,” she said, smiling up at him. “Any exciting plans this summer?”
“No, not really,” he murmured. “Just reading. And you know... guitar practice.” Brienne nodded; she knew that Rickon’s musical talent gave him, the youngest Stark, a feeling that he had the upper hand over his siblings. He was a gifted musician and spent whatever time he could just to squeeze in the extra practice hours.
“I’ll probably see you next weekend,” Brienne told him. “Your mom invited me over to your summer kick-off barbecue.” Rickon nodded and gave her a shy smile as he waved while heading towards the door. Suddenly, he turned around. He’d suddenly remembered something.
“Oh, professor. I almost forgot to tell you…” Brienne smiled. “Rickon it’s ok to call me ‘Brienne.’ We’re not in class.” Rickon started to turn red. “Yeah, right. I knew that. Anyway, I forgot to tell you before. I saw your name on the Missed Connections wall.”
Brienne was puzzled. “The what?” She had no idea what a “Missed Connection” was, or why the hells her name would be on it. Rickon looked at her like she had grown a second head. “You don’t know about the Missed Connections wall in the subway?” he said, shaking his head. “Everyone knows about it. “
Brienne gazed wordlessly at him. A moment had passed before Rickon cleared his throat, “There’s a wall in Visenya’s Hill station where people put up messages for who they want to reconnect with. You know, like friends who haven’t seen each other in a long time? Or parents who are looking for their kids? And for the disappeared from..." Rickon cleared his throat again. “Anyway, I was waiting for the train and started to read the messages, and I saw your name. Although the person called you by another name too, that’s why I didn’t realize it was you at first.”
Brienne became even more confused. “I have no idea who could be looking for me. Everyone I know lives in King’s Landing. My father…” Brienne tried to swallow the pain still fresh in her heart. “My father passed away in Tarth a few years ago. He was the only person outside of King’s Landing that I had. “ She looked down at Rickon, “Maybe it’s not even me?”
Rickon shook his head stubbornly, “No. It was you. The message said ‘Brienne Tarth.’ Hang on… I took a picture.” Rickon dug out his phone and scrolled a few seconds until he found what he was looking for. “Here. See? There’s a number too."
Brienne looked down at the picture on Rickon’s phone. Suddenly she felt everything around her start to pitch forward before it faded with a dull ringing in her ears. She felt her heart start to beat impossibly fast. She could hear Rickon call her name, asking if she was OK, but it sounded like he was speaking to her from miles away. She read the message again.
“Blue eyes…”
“Remember Wolf’s Diner?”
“I’ve never forgotten… ”
“...fifteen years...”
“I need to find you.”
“Brienne…”
It couldn’t be... This can't be happening. Not again… Brienne thought she had exorcised Jaime Lannister from her life. And now, here were his words, written on a sheet of paper, hastily stuck with tape on a subway station wall, calling her name.
Pleading.
Tears welled and stung at her eyes. She could feel Rickon staring at her with curiosity. Why was Jaime looking for her? What could he possibly want after more than a decade? Why now? Why, when she had finally moved on without him?
Brienne swallowed hard. The only thing she knew for certain was that there was no way she could bring herself to call the number on that piece of paper. She remembered the unbearable pain she felt after he’d left. The long days, alone in her apartment, slowly trickling away to nothing; missing him so much that she was unable to focus on her life… unable to focus on a future without him.
His phone calls, steady at first and filled with so much promise, decreasing more and more until they finally stopped altogether, ripping whatever was left of her heart in the process...
There was no way she would be able to bear that kind of pain now. Not this time.
Not again.