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When a cloud of alien pollen strikes Kirk right in the face, he yells “Fuck it! I call dibs on Sulu.”
Hikaru shrugs.
After a hundred and twenty-eight similar incidents, you learn to roll with it.
The first time, Hikaru wakes up in a temple, naked, with no memory of how he got there.
“What the fuck happened?”
Kirk groans and sits up. “The state of my ass is telling me we did it.”
It figures, that the first time they have sex neither of them remembers it.
The second time, they’re sitting as far away from each other as they can in their tiny cell.
“Fencing, huh?”
Hikru tries one more time to will away his hard-on. “Yep.”
There’s a long moment of silence filled only with their strained breath.
“This is going to sound incredibly unprofessional,” Kirk says, “and you are free to file a complaint when we get back to the ship, but can I go ahead and jerk off? These…swords… are making it a little hard to come up with a plan.”
Hikaru’s dick is practically wearing a hole in his pants. He nods, face burning. “As long as I get to do it too. Sir.”
“Circumstances being what they are, it’d be less awkward if you called me Jim.”
Jim tries to be discreet, but when Hikaru grasps his dick he’s thinking about the view he still has, how it would feel to take that thing up his ass. If only they had lube.
And weren’t being held prisoner.
But right now, with whatever they dosed him with coursing through his system, all he wants to do is lunge across the cell and ride Kirk until he passes out.
He comes pretty quickly.
There is literally no way for Hikaru to talk without his mouth brushing over the captain’s dick. He’s straining to keep as far away as he can, and the position is staring to get to him.
How does the Enterprise keep getting into shit like this?
Kirk is breathing on his dick. Fuck.
Hikaru tries to will himself unconscious.
“Need some help with that” Kirk asks. There’s no need to wonder which “that” Kirk is talking about. This counts as a mortified boner.
“It’s a perfectly natural reaction. I’m, uh” Kirk huffs and Hikaru shivers. “I’m not exactly unaffected. No matter which way you slice it, we’re going to have to deal with it eventually.”
He’s been hovering around half-mast for a while now. And honestly, this might not be the first time.
He takes a deep breath, feels guilty immediately afterwards, and takes a few smaller breaths in an attempt to breathe as shallowly as he can. He clears his throat. “I don’t want to take advantage.”
“It’s not taking advantage if I’m offering.”
Hikaru nods, which brushes his nose across Kirk’s dick in a way that must be maddening. The next thing Hikaru feels isn’t a light brush – it’s a mouth, firm and warm and very nice. Hikaru ends up licking the underside of Kirk’s cock. It takes a bit of maneuvering to get the head into his mouth, but it’s worth it for the moan that shudders through Jim in response. Kirk is more than happy to reciprocate, swallowing him down in a move Hikaru can’t even begin to imitate.
The ropes force him to keep his thrusts shallow, and he loses track of everything for a minute, fingers scrabbling uselessly at his sides.
Kirk comes first. Hikaru doesn’t mind. Some of it leaks out the side of his mouth, but he’ll worry about it later.
“Fuck, Marry, Kill?”
“Seriously?” Hikaru says, because seriously? There’s so much blood in his dick it might explode, and Kirk wants to do this?
“Seriously,” Kirk says with a strained grimace. “We’ve covered hobbies, families, weather – twice! – and raced to the finish a few times. What else do you suggest?”
This is maybe the twelfth time they’ve ended up in this type of predicament. Hikaru doesn’t have any better ideas.
He sighs. “Korenth, Giotto, Spock.”
“Fuck Spock, definitely. I married him in an alternate timeline, so he has to be pretty good. As for the other two…”
The twentieth time, they don’t even bother. Hikaru raises his eyebrows; Kirk drops his pants. They rescue the rest of the way team with clear heads and a solid plan, and they don’t have to beam back onto the ship with obvious hard-ons.
The sex is good, too.
“You know,” Kirk says, rubbing the injection site on his neck, “maybe we’ve been doing this backwards. When we get out of here, you want to meet up on Deck Ten?”
“Like a date?” Hikaru asks, in the middle of opening his fly.
“If you want it to be.” Kirk shrugs. “Or it can just be a friendly dinner before sex. It’s up to you.”
Hikaru thinks about it.
He’s standing in a lab with his dick out. On the other side of the glass, a bunch of spectators are taking notes. Kirk’s started bringing lube on missions.
Hikaru sighs. “What the hell. Let’s do it.”
Their thirty first time is technically the thirty-eighth; the lab aliens kept them hopping. It is preceded by a nice dinner and a sparring match.
It is not awkward or rushed. There are no observers and no aphrodisiacs. There’s just Kirk, Hikaru, and Kirk’s fucking amazing fingers.
“Holy shit,” Hikaru chokes out, staring at the ceiling.
“Am I good or am I good?”
Cocky bastard. “Let me catch my breath and I’ll –”
“No rush,” Kirk says, stretching. “We’ve got all night.”
“Unless you want to…?”
“Nah. There are more creative ways to have fun with your ass. Anyway, we’ve done it so much I figure we both could use a change of pace.”
“How do you want to do this?” Kirk asks some time later, after Hikaru’s recovered the will to move. “This isn’t one of those timelines where I’m monogamous.”
“Same here…I guess…. I – How the hell do you know all this shit about other timelines?”
Kirk grins. “Long story, trust me. So tell me: Is this a relationship or just sex?”
“No offense, but I’m not exactly looking for a relationship.”
Kirk laughs. Hikaru doesn’t know whether to be relieved on insulted.
“Excellent,” Kirk says, practically vibrating. “We are officially friends. What do you say to a celebratory blowjob?”
Hikaru cracks a smile. Sometimes, Kirk – Jim – has a one-track mind.