Chapter Text
Luke sighed quietly to himself. His shoulders sat heavy with fatigue as he followed the rest of the party through the gates of Chesedonia. The chill of the Qliphoth had overtaken the heat of the desert, leaving him to shiver whenever a small burst of wind filtered through the border town. It was with mixed feelings that he agreed with the decision the group had made during the trek back from the Zao Ruins.
‘Everybody’s tired, let’s just stay in town when we get back.’
He couldn’t recall who exactly had voiced the roundabout request but it had received a chorus of appreciative moans and spawned tangents about fresh water and beds, oh what I would give to have my bed right now with its silk sheets and – He’d been quick to tune out Natalia’s rambling in favour of watching the sand beneath his feet.
Besides, he couldn’t say he disagreed after such a unanimous vote, especially since he’d had just about enough of sleeping outdoors himself. His only concern was his nightmares. The night before had been moderately tame with exhaustion keeping most of it at bay but, usually, they kept him awake more often than not with their shadows and screams and reaching hands trying to touch him, grab him, pull him away.
He swallowed and stared hard at the wall of the Inn they stood in front of. The tremor that ran down his spine had nothing to do with the cool air around them and he longed to cross his arms over his chest, to clutch tight at the sides of his overcoat in a weak attempt to hug himself. His hands fisted at his sides and he stuffed them in his pockets instead.
Never mind the fact that the Qliphoth was the focal point in each and every one of his dreams.
Noelle’s arrival held his attention long enough for him to acknowledge that she was actually there before he turned away. His gaze fell upon the shops that spread out on the wide plot of land before the Inn, empty of their wares and chillingly eerie in the gloom. Sun guarding fabrics waved in the breeze, useless in their new location where no sun could reach. Luke watched as one was pulled loose and carried towards the docks, folding over itself in such a way only light fabrics could.
His heart skipped a beat when Tear’s hand grasped his shoulder and he met her concerned face with wide eyes. Behind her, the others were filing into the building and Luke realized as he caught sight of Noelle fading into the distance that he’d missed the entire conversation.
“Sorry,” he muttered, gluing his eyes to the ground as he stepped around her to avoid seeing the frown he knew was there. She followed behind him as he stepped through the propped open door after Anise then found the nearest bare patch of wall he could lean against.
The merchants had relocated, claiming portions of the room as their own using crates and lengths of cloth to separate them and Luke quietly marveled at their dedication to their business. He watched a harried woman stomp her foot across the room with her fists shaking at her sides before turning on her heel and heading towards the exit. She passed through their group with a fierce scowl on her face and Luke pulled his lip between his teeth as he looked back at the merchant. The man was shaking his head, methodically re-wrapping whatever it was that the woman rejected before returning it to its proper place.
“I wonder what it was she wanted,” Anise said quietly, still watching the open doorway and Jade sighed next to her.
“Gels, I suspect,” he answered and adjusted his glasses. “I wouldn’t be surprised if most of his wares were lost during the descent.”
“Damn,” Guy breathed and ran a hand through his hair. “Shortages are the last thing these people need.”
“There’s nothing we can do for it,” Jade said, banning the option before it became more than a brief thought. “We can’t be giving away our own supplies, especially since we’re low already.”
“I suppose,” Tear accepted though somewhat reluctantly as she laced her fingers together and pulled nervously at the tips of her gloves. Mieu whined piteously from his perch on Guy’s shoulder, his ears drooping with the emotion.
“Alright,” Natalia announced, appearing at Jade’s side as she held up two sets of keys. Luke looked between her and the front desk where the clerk was helping an old man in mild confusion. “We’ve got the two rooms at the end. Boys, this one’s yours.” She held out one by the tag and Jade calmly took it before heading to the stairs.
At the top, he turned back, looking over everyone’s haggard appearances. “Guy, Luke, we’re in Room 10. Feel free to take a shower before coming to bed.” The two hesitated on the steps and glanced briefly at each other as Anise sniggered behind them.
“I’m afraid you’ll have to wait,” Natalia sniffed and pushed her way through, leaving Guy to cling to the rail, “ladies first, after all.”
“Of course,” Jade smiled and stepped aside, allowing her to enter the door behind him. Tear and Anise followed after her, Anise giving them a cheerful wave before she shut the door and locked it. Still on the stairs, Guy and Luke watched as Jade turned his smile on them before heading towards their assigned room.
“Umm,” Luke blinked at Jade’s retreating back and straightened as Guy laughed weakly next to him.
“How about we get something to eat while we wait,” he suggested and Luke nodded with a small sigh. He needed to write in his journal anyway.
--
Dark... cold... alone...
Apprehension built in his chest... Hello?
"Heh, to think I wanted to marry him..." Anise?
Chills raced down his spine. Was that you?
"You said you would change..." Tear?
Surprise. Hurt. Guilt. But I am! I'm trying!
"I thought I taught you better than this..." Guy!
Longing. Taught me better...?
"I can't believe you're my cousin!" Natalia.
His chest tightened. What did I do?
"It appears I can be wrong sometimes..." Jade.
Breathing was getting hard. Tell me what I did wrong.
"Can't you do anything right?" Asch...
Faces. Anger, sorrow, regret, indifference.
Abandoned
...Why did it hurt so much?
"Help! Help me, please! Daddy! It hurts!"
Cold, so cold. No...
"You killed us. The one who was to save us..." A woman, bloody and angry.
Fear. No! I didn't-
"Don't try to make excuses." A man, dismembered and half-blind.
Tears burned at his eyes. I tried! Really, I did!
"Did you?" The woman again, behind!
He sobbed. I'm sorry! I'm sorry I failed...
"Are you?" Behind the woman. A child, bloody chested and half his face gone, torn hat clutched in his hand.
He fell to his knees. Yes! I'd do anything to make it up to you!
"Will you?" They held out their hands.
He reached back.
"Finally."
--
The wind had gotten stronger. He stood barefoot outside the Inn, the dirt cold under his feet and stared in the direction of the Kimlascan docks. Their voices murmured at the edges of his thoughts, taunting, urging, calling. He breathed with the wind and stepped forward, letting invisible hands take his and guide him.
Come, the woman beckoned. Her image flickered briefly at his side before she was taken by the wind. He walked, unfeeling of the cold that surrounded him.
We'll take you where you need to be, the child waved from the top of the steps across the market place. The wind took him too. He followed, not daring to stray.
We'll show you what you're to do, the man glared before he too was taken. He obeyed, knowing it was what he was meant to do.
Repent for his sins against those he had killed.
You're ours now. There's no going back. You'll stay with us forever. Become what you're meant to be. This is the meaning of your birth.
He nodded.
Become what you're meant to be.
One foot in front of the other.
This is your reason.
No hesitation.
Forever.
--
"Guy."
The commanding tone had Guy up and out of bed before he even realized he was awake. He blinked at Jade in confusion, hand mid-reach for his sword. The man was tense at the end of the bed Guy and Luke shared though Guy couldn't find a rea-
He finished grabbing his sword as he realized that Luke was not actually in bed behind him.
His heart thudded painfully in his chest as he looked around the room and found most of Luke's things still there. "Where is he?"
"Your guess is as good as mine." Jade frowned. "I have Mieu looking around the building."
Guy cursed through gritted teeth and shoved his boots on before running out of the room. Jade hurried after him, pounding on the ladies' door just as the blond was vaulting over the rail to the lower level. His arm raised to knock again before it swung open and he was greeted with an irritated, sleep mused Tear.
"Wha-"
"Luke's missing," he interrupted before she could tear into him. "I fear he may do something drastic if we don't find him."
Her eyes widened. "You mean...?"
His lips thinned grimly as he gave the barest of nods and Tear swallowed thickly before releasing a shaking breath.
“Go,” she told him. “We’ll be right after.” Jade wasted no time in heading her words and rushed off, following Guy’s example and leaping over the rail much to the clerk’s consternation.
“Use the stairs!” Was shouted to his back which he ignored in favour of collecting Mieu from the post at the base of the steps.
“He went outside,” was the quick report as he leapt onto his shoulder. “Towards the boats.” Jade released a short breath, fuel for a curse that didn’t get past the formative stage and ran a hand over the creature’s small head.
“Wait for Tear,” he said as he went for the door. “Tell her where to go then go get Noelle. We’ll be leaving as soon as we retrieve Luke.”
“Okay!” Mieu chirped and ran down Jade’s arm to return to his position by the stairs. Jade spared a single glance over his shoulder before taking off, outright running for the Kimlascan docks.
He didn't want to call it fear but that was almost what it seemed like as it gripped his chest, tight and unyielding at the thought that they might be too late. That Luke was already long gone with only faint tracks in the dirt to show for it, or that they’d make it only to watch as he took that final step. The prospect spurred him on, wanting to eliminate any undesired outcome and he maintained the hope that they’d noticed in time.
There seemed to be a lot of firsts for him where the group was concerned.
“Luke!” He heard the echoing shout before he rounded the corner and a chill ran down his spine. Then he saw them, grappling for leverage against each other until Guy all but threw Luke back to safety. The redhead tumbled backwards, rolling against the dusty cobblestone before righting himself far too soon for Jade to accept.
“Guy!” He warned, knowing he was too far away to catch Luke’s next attempt. Something about the way he moved unnerved him.
And Guy was ready when Luke ran again, catching him by the shoulders and shoving him backwards. Once again, Luke rolled – without a sound, Jade realized – and righted himself before taking a few steps back. Jade didn't hesitate.
He came up behind him, hooking his arms under Luke's just as he tensed to lunge again. His feet kicked out instead and the cry that left his lips was one that Jade never wanted to hear again. Anger and pain, almost primal, and he didn't need to see Guy to know the blond shared the grimace that had him gritting his teeth.
Luke flailed in his arms, fighting to free himself with every twist and jerk and Jade was thankful that he didn't seem to be in the frame of mind to reach back and punch him. “Luke, calm yourself!” he shouted then grunted when Luke's heel dug into his shin.
He continued to shout; wordless cries that could be the beginnings of words as he struggled. In front of them, Guy tried to find a way to keep him still as he blocked kicks with his hands and knees. One blow got through and landed on his side as Luke twisted enough to slip an arm free.
Jade hissed a curse and jerked his head back avoid the fist that swung towards him. It was a narrow escape that knocked his glasses askew instead and caused him to lose his hold on Luke entirely. Then Luke was gone as he bolted to the side and Guy was still reeling and the girls were only just coming down the pier. He didn’t think, he couldn’t. He could only react.
His name and Luke’s echoed off the limestone as his spear appeared with a flash though he couldn’t afford the hesitation their cries called for. His arm was already moving, committed just as Luke was and when the blade struck the ground he tried to ignore the resulting wail of pain. Another deft motion and that was silenced as well.
Jade panted in the sudden quiet, his fist shaking with adrenaline in the air before he braced it against the ground and pushed himself to his feet. Natalia sobbed and a hand covered her mouth as she sank to her knees at the base of the steps.
“Jade,” Tear’s voice was thick though surprisingly steady as she approached and he stepped back, pausing long enough to pull his spear free. Blood welled in Luke’s hand where the blade had been and immediately Tear dropped to his side with First Aid on her lips. Anise staggered forward from where she stood with Natalia, her eyes wide as she tried to take everything in.
“What just happened?” she asked, looking from Guy, who finally managed to regain his breath, to Jade as he watched Tear, to Tear herself as she healed the damage. Try as she might, she couldn’t actually look at Luke.
“Something far worse than I imagined,” Jade replied with a shake of his head then pulled out a cloth to wipe the thin layer of blood from his spear before he let it disappear. “Anise, Natalia, head back to the Inn and gather our things, the rest of us will head to the Albiore.” Anise straightened where she stood with a sharp breath before she staggered back and tugged at Natalia’s arm to get her to stand.
“Come on,” she urged, putting her entire focus on the princess and once she was up, both of them hurried away. Natalia looked back once before they rounded the corner, distress clear in the set of her brow but Anise steadfastly kept her attention forward.
“What the hell do you mean?” Guy growled once they were gone with his hands braced on his knees and his gaze practically burned from under the shadow of his hair. Jade met it steadily, completely serious.
“Luke’s depression routinely worsens whenever we descend into the Qliphoth and there’s little guess as to why,” he said as Guy straightened, “Tear and I have been keeping a well enough eye on him but frankly, something like this was bound to happen anyway. I’d have been very surprised if it hadn’t. My concern with this is that it doesn’t appear to be a mere suicide attempt. Something was driving him, is driving him, and we need to find out what.”
“Jade,” both men looked down at Tear, neither having missed the fine tremor in her voice, and she stared back with Luke’s hand in hers and a firm grip around his wrist. The piercing was gone, a faint line in the back of his hand that would likely fade with time, but it was the awkward way she held it that told Jade it was something else.
“Show me,” he ordered as he kneeled once again. Tear’s lips thinned before she slowly pulled her hand away, as if she was afraid to cause even more damage, then carefully turned Luke’s wrist so his palm was facing upwards. Raw, irritated skin greeted them in a pattern that covered a majority of the surface and when Tear moved her hand back over, Jade hissed a curse between his teeth.
“That’s a handprint,” Guy gasped above them and Tear nodded though she made no attempt to heal it.
“I take it healing artes aren’t working,” Jade guessed. Tear made a pained noise in the back of her throat as she shook her head.
“My artes brought it out,” she said, “and if I’d tried anymore, the sores would’ve opened. Jade, what’s going on?” She looked at him with wide eyes just as he stood and barely caught the uncertainty that flashed across his face.
“I don’t know,” he admitted much to their shock and his hands fisted at his sides in a show of his frustration, “but I intend to find out. Let’s go.” He turned on his heel and Guy took a deep frustrated breath at his back before he kneeled to help raise Luke off the ground.
The trek through the town was silent aside from the sounds of their feet as they scuffed against the dirt. Jade led the way with Tear at his side while Guy trailed behind with Luke on his back. Tear would look back every so often; the embodiment of worry and Guy would meet her gaze with a soft nod. Though weak, Luke’s breath continued to ghost across his neck.
Natalia and Anise caught up just as they were climbing the rise to the Albiore. Anise said nothing though her throat worked like she wanted to until she gave up and passed them by. She glanced at Luke on her way and Guy caught the grimace and the guilt before she hid it and hurried up the steps to the ship. Noelle looked worriedly at her back from where she stood at the base with her arms crossed against the chill.
“She’s crying,” she noticed as she turned back, then she got a good look at the rest of them and her lips thinned to fight a deeper frown. “You all are,” she amended. Tear’s hand flew to her face but her fingers came back dry and Noelle shook her head.
“There doesn’t need to be tears for you to cry,” she said and didn’t say anything about the actual tears that flowed down Natalia’s face. Noelle sighed quietly through her nose then gestured to the ship with her head, “The cot behind the bridge is ready. You can lay him down there.” Guy nodded and climbed the steps with Tear close on his heels.
Mieu was waiting on top of tousled sheets in the alcove tucked at the end of the small corridor and it was obvious that Noelle had previously been sleeping there. The cheagle perked up slightly but said nothing and moved aside to let Guy manoeuvre Luke onto the mattress.
“Thank you, Mieu,” Tear murmured as Guy moved away after taking a moment to cover Luke. A small jerk of his head told her he was heading through to the bridge. She nodded as Mieu made himself a spot by Luke’s head.
“He’ll be okay, right?” his voice drifted up and Tear smiled softly as she crouched next to the bed and started to rub small circles on the top of the cheagle’s head.
“We’re going to do everything we can to make sure of it,” she told him. Mieu whined but accepted it as he rested his small chin on his paws and Tear gave him a final rub down his back before she settled more firmly against the wall. There was a small clamour back at the end of the hall before Natalia appeared with Jade and Noelle a few steps behind. A hiss followed by the tumble of locks signalled the door closing.
Natalia stopped at the end of the cot but Jade and Noelle brushed by without saying a word and grim frowns on their faces. When Tear looked at Natalia in question, Natalia sighed wearily.
“He’s concerned about what he saw at the passage ring,” she said, her voice rough though her tears had been wiped away.
Tear frowned, “Did we do something wrong?”
“No,” Natalia shook her head, “he was watching the other passage rings. He didn’t tell me what he saw but I think the other Sephiroth might be in trouble.”
“Trouble how?”
Natalia shook her head again and Tear dropped her gaze to Luke. “Fine,” she accepted after a moment and blew a calming breath through her lips. “We’ll figure something out.” A promise for the future, if nothing else.
“Right,” Natalia agreed though she sounded less sure then braced herself against the wall as the airship lifted off. After all, they had just messed up terribly and there was no way to know if it was possible to fix. She opened her mouth, took a breath to speak, then stopped. What could she even say? She didn’t notice? That she was too blinded by her own worries to see past the surface?
How awful.
Tear was watching her with a small wrinkle in her brow and Natalia swallowed as her eyes darted to the floor. “I’m sorry,” she said with a voice that sounded rough to her own ears and not entirely sure who she was apologizing to. To Luke, in part, for certain even though he wasn’t awake to hear it but a little bit towards Tear as well for her own inaction in the events that had transpired.
But maybe there was still something she could do, she resolved even as Tear murmured in confusion at the apology.
Tear’s eyes widened as the familiar glow of First Aid lit the area and she remembered that Natalia had been sent away earlier. That she didn’t know what happened when she tried to use it. “No!” she gasped as she uselessly tried to grasp Natalia’s hands to disrupt the cast and watch Luke for any change at the same time. But her foot slipped out from under her before she could stand, unbalanced as she was, and she ended up sprawled on the floor as the fonons washed over Luke on the cot.
“Tear!” Natalia exclaimed and took a step back as the other woman scrambled up, surprised, confused and a little bit hurt.
“I’m sorry, I should have told you,” Tear rushed as she practically threw the covers aside and Mieu ran to Natalia with a startled yelp, “but something’s going on. None of us know what though, not even Jade but this is something more than just Luke with depression and I, I,” blood spotted the sheets around Luke’s hand, the same one she had tried to heal before and she turned his wrist to see what had changed. As she had predicted, the sores had opened though not as much as if the arte had been focused on the area which brought another thought to mind.
What if there was more than one hand print?
“I need you to bring me a medical kit,” she continued, forcing the words through the harsh tremor in her voice, “ointment, bandages, the works. There should be one somewhere on this ship.”
“R-right,” Natalia nodded and rushed up the stairs, taking Mieu with her.
Tear released a sharp breath through her nose in an attempt to diffuse the tenseness in her shoulders then pulled her knife from the sheath on her thigh. She’d have to check everything to make sure. She had to know the extent of the damage. She had to know exactly how far Luke had gone.
On the bridge, Natalia had stopped to stare with the rest of them at the phenomena outside the window. She took a deep breath as she watched the sky flicker ominously and the branches of the Sephiroth as they faded and reformed with limited success. “What’s happening?” she asked as she gripped the rail then climbed the last couple steps to stand near Guy.
“The passage rings have reached maximum tolerance,” Jade said without looking over his shoulder. He stood at the front next to Noelle as he leaned on both the back of her chair and the console.
“This is what you saw,” Natalia prompted, “at the ruins.” At that, Jade did look back and he gave her the barest of nods.
“There’s not much time before the rings break and the trees vanish,” he told them and straightened with a weary sigh. “How’s Luke?”
“Oh,” Natalia gasped and nearly dropped Mieu though the cheagle was quick enough to cling to her sleeve and climb to her shoulder. “That’s right. Noelle, I need a medical kit if you have one.” The pilot didn’t hesitate before she ducked down and pulled a box out from under her chair.
“Your artes don’t work?” Noelle questioned as she held it out for Natalia to come and take and Guy shook his head as Natalia cringed. She took the metal box in both hands and her nails dug into the smooth paint on the sides.
“I didn’t know so I tried,” she admitted then turned heel back towards the stairs. “Tear told me to get this for her so I’d better bring it down,” she continued before anyone could ask any more questions. Then she was out of sight and Jade and Guy shared a concerned frown.
“Check on them,” Jade requested quietly and Guy nodded with an equally quiet ‘sure’. Then he was down the stairs and Jade turned his attention to Anise. The girl had her head bowed with her fingers clenched together in her lap and every so often a foot would kick weakly at the seat in front of her. Jade put his hands in his pockets.
“What do you suggest?” he asked and waited patiently for a response. Noelle, after a brief glance between Jade and Anise, settled back in her chair at Jade’s soft nod and set a sedate pace west. The silence stretched, Anise seemingly oblivious and Noelle looked surreptitiously over her shoulder when it appeared she wasn’t going to answer.
Then her head turned though she still didn’t look at Jade and said, “What do you mean?”
Jade shrugged, an easy motion that only encompassed his shoulders and replied, “What do you want it to mean?”
Anise looked at him then, her nose scrunched fiercely and her lips a thin line of frustration. “Don’t play with me,” she snapped then took a sharp breath as she glared out the window. Her hands had separated, her fingers digging into the cushion at her sides and her feet were tight together and pressed against the floor.
“Apologies,” Jade said after a moment, “that wasn’t my intention.”
Anise’s grip tightened on her seat. “It’s not like you to apologize,” she told him and if Jade heard the tremor in her voice, he didn’t comment. He nodded once but didn’t say anything more and after another long pause, Anise sighed. Her head bowed and she leaned forward until the crown of her head pressed against the back of the chair before her.
“There’s a fonstone,” she said, “in Daath. It holds all of the classified stuff that only Ion has access to. He should be able to tell us if there’s something like,” she waved a hand towards the window, “this, in it. And if nothing else, he might find something in the libraries to- to help Luke.”
Jade placed a hand on the back of Noelle’s chair even as she was already in the motions to alter course and increase speed. “Thank you,” he said and Anise snorted and wrapped her arms around her middle.
“I guess even you can be shaken,” she murmured. Noelle blinked and looked at Jade’s hand where he gripped her seat, having heard the leather creak. Then he let go, leaving faint indentations of his fingers as he pulled away to sit directly behind her. Noelle regarded the mark quietly as it faded from view then returned her gaze to the world beyond her ship once it was gone.
Shaken indeed.