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The first time it happened he wasn’t surprised. His face was blank as he picked up the rose from the bathroom floor. His chest ache a little as he stared into the deformed flower. Hanahaki disease.
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“Hanahaki disease is born from unrequited love.” His teacher started. “Fortunately, you all will probably never experience this disease, but I’ve been forced to explain it to you just in case.” The class groans in unison. No one ever likes hearing about this.
“It causes you to cough up or regurgitate flowers. The flower would depend on you.”
Puking flowers? That’s the most disgusting thing Taehyung's ever heard of. He looks out the window in disinterest as the teacher rambles on about side effects and causes. He knows he’ll never need to know about it.
“Fortunately, there is a cure” Taehyung hears his teacher say, peaking his interest a little. He turns to face the front of the class again.
“The infection can be removed through surgery, however, the feelings towards that person will disappear. In some extreme cases, all memory of that person will disappear as well. That side effect is what causes a great percentage of people to opt against the surgery.”
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He understands now, why people kill themselves instead of getting the surgery.
Taehyung would never want to forget him.
Some people romanticise Hanahaki disease, saying that the idea of coughing up flowers out of love is beautiful. The flowers aren’t beautiful. Sometimes Taehyung thinks he can feel the pulse of a heartbeat when he holds one. They’re covered in a membrane-like skin, with veins trailing up the flowers like small stems. Some flowers still hold the same shape and colour as the original ones. His did.
He thinks they’re beautiful too. Beautiful but sick.
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“Hyung! How are you doing this beautiful morning?” Jungkook smiles at him with his cute bunny teeth and wide eyes. Taehyung feels a pang in his chest.
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Taehyung has learned how to recognise the differences between his pains. He knows when he feels a stirring in his lungs and stomach that a flower is wilting. That’s when he coughs them up. He knows that the sharp pain he feels when he breathes too deep is from a new flower stem growing. And he knows the pain he feels far too often in his chest, near his heart. The love he feels when he smiles. When he laughs. When he stares into his eyes for just a second as they’re talking. The reason for his pain. Jungkook.
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“I’m doing okay I guess. Homework for Spin was killer last night, I’m pretty tired.” Taehyung’s usual excuse for the darkening bags under his eyes. There were more flowers than usual last night.
“How was the homework hard for you? Spin’s class is the easiest one I have. Do you want me to tutor you?” Jungkook chuckles at the thought while he slings his arm across Taehyung's shoulders.
He thinks about the offer. Spending more time with Jungkook after school sounds amazing.
“Would you?” Taehyung looks questioningly at the younger boy hanging off of him.
“Of course! Do you wanna walk home with me today and get started?”
Taehyung hesitates. Would the flowers stay still long enough for him to go with Jungkook? He reasons with himself that it would be okay. If anything shifts he’ll make up an excuse to leave.
“Sure. I’m down for that,” Taehyung says wearily. The bell rings as he finishes his statement, signalling for them to get to homeroom. Jungkook throws him a wave goodbye as he dashes down the hall to his class. Taehyung stands, watching him leave. He’s late to homeroom that day.
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Taehyung thinks his flower suits him. Crimson roses. Mourning and longing. A sense of regret. Taehyung regrets a lot of things. The roses will always be sickeningly beautiful to him. The thorns hurt coming up though.
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“So, which subject do you think you struggle with the most?” Jungkook looks up at him questioningly. Their backpacks and uniform jackets are slung on the floor, contents previously emptied out and spread across the bed in front of the two boys. Taehyung scans his eyes across the textbooks, trying to think of which subject is easiest to fake cluelessness about. Biology wins.
“Biology probably. I don’t understand a single thing that comes out of Spin’s mouth at this point. I’m a lost cause.” Taehyung returns Jungkook’s stare with a blank one of his own. Jungkook questions him on the most recent thing’s they’ve learned in his class, Taehyung keeps the act up as he answers every question wrong, feigning ignorance as Jungkook seems to get more and more frustrated.
“How are you passing this class? This is insane, even for you!” Taehyung laughs at that. He’s gained a dumb blonde reputation ever since he got the disease. He doesn’t ever have the motivation to work anymore.
“The internet is a big help.” Taehyung deadpans. Jungkook looks up at him, half amused, half disappointed.
Taehyung feels a sudden sharp pain in his chest and he chokes on the breath he took. A stem broke.
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The pain of a flower wilting or a stem growing is usually bearable for him now. He’s gotten used to the faint throb he feels in his chest every day. This is different. A stem breaks when it’s too thin to support the flower growing on top of it. They’re attached directly to the lung tissue to feed off the nutrients in his lungs. when one snaps, the tissue tears there as well. Not enough to damage, but enough to be felt. And it hurts.
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Taehyung panics knowing he won’t make to his house in time. he quietly whimpers and chokes out a question about the bathroom. Jungkook directs him to the third door on the left down the hall as he unknowingly stares at his phone screen. Taehyung bolts off the bed to his destination. He feels the bile in his stomach mixing with the flowers in his throat and launches himself at the toilet after closing the bathroom door. The taste of the mix on his tongue spurs his stomach on more. His throat burns at the feeling of the flowers pushing through the constricting pipe. He feels tears streaming down his face in pain.
Footsteps pad down the hall towards the bathroom and Taehyung hears a knock on the door.
“Are you okay in there?” Jungkook asks, voice laced with concern. Taehyung can’t find his breath to reply. He feels another round of flowers coming up.
Snap.
Another stem breaks. Taehyung screams as Jungkook bursts through the door. His vision goes black.