Chapter Text
Things changed after Gabe’s birthday.
Robbie and Daisy had a tenuous friendship again, but it was always marred by little quarrels. He wanted to be around her, would crave it almost, but she always wanted to get inside his head, to fix him and wouldn’t understand that it wasn’t possible.
And his own mind was so cruel.
Sometimes Robbie would go for days believing everything was under control; that the mundane tasks of life and the Rider in him could co-exist.
Other days, the burden would be overwhelming, and he would feel disconnected from everyone; fading away and alone.
Maybe he was better off before, in his hardened shell.
Meeting Daisy had shattered it, but he was still sinking; only now the cracks she caused were letting in emotions and sensations, making his descent into the abyss even worse.
He couldn't hide his turmoil from Daisy, she knew him too well, and she always confronted him about it.
Fitz was spearheading research in a brand new facility and had tasked them with a last minute supply run. Noticing his dark mood on the drive back, she’d asked if everything was okay. And no, nothing was okay, it was a fucking senseless question, but he wisely kept that to himself.
“I’m not your project,” was all he said, as he looked out the window, not wanting her to see his face. Daisy was driving, and he didn’t know what to do with his hands. Normally he would flip his car keys when he got in a pensive mood, but they were in his leather jacket back at the base.
“You just seem so angry, I want to help,” she’d said mildly, and her kind tone was like gasoline on the spark of irritation he was feeling.
“I am stuck with a murdering spirit because of a deal I made. Do you hear me complaining?” He twisted in his seat to glare at her. “I am sorry that it bothers you that I’m not fucking happy all of the fucking time.”
He didn’t realize that she was pulling over till the vehicle stopped.
It was late in the evening, with the world preparing for night time, but because it was summer, the sun still lit up the sky. The rays of light streaming into the truck seemed to uncover and magnify his pain, and it somehow made him furious. He was spoiling for a fight, and she wasn’t giving him one. He needed Daisy to see him as he saw himself; that he was a raging inferno that wanted to burn.
“I don’t have a future; I have to ride with this thing till it leaves me and then I’ll be dead. Stop trying to fix me!” Robbie’s voice was breaking, and his hands were shaking.
“So that’s why you tried to distance yourself and leave the team,” Daisy stated it rather than asked, and to Robbie, her compassion was like an attack.
“Why can’t you leave it alone, Daisy?”
“Because you deserve peace, you deserve to be happy,” she replied softly.
Robbie was at his breaking point, and her gentleness put him right over the edge. She was looking at him as if she could see right into his non-existent soul. He felt a burning in his throat and an odd sensation on his back of his eyes. He tried to take a deep breath to get himself under control, but all he got was a ragged breath.
To his utter shock, there was wetness on his face. What was happening?
“It’s okay,” Daisy leaned across to hold his hand, and Robbie suddenly panicked. He unbuckled his seatbelt; he needed to get out of there, right now.
She must have sensed how fragile he was because she immediately scrambled out the driver’s side to follow him. Without thinking, she wrapped him in a hug, and he seemed to sink into her. There was nothing sensual about it, just her giving him comfort and him needing human contact.
Robbie Reyes hadn’t cried in years and years. And here he was next to a S.H.I.E.L.D issued vehicle on the roadside, cars whizzing past, chest heaving, and being held by Daisy. She always gave the impression of strength, so he found it surprising how small she felt.
He didn’t know how long they stayed like that.
He absently noticed that she didn’t park straight, and their vehicle was a bit too close to the main road. He probably should've driven.
“You’re not spending the night alone.” Daisy broke the silence and looked up at him. “Not up for discussion,” she continued as Robbie opened his mouth to speak. “My room or yours?”
“Doesn’t matter,” was all he said.
“Let’s get this back to Fitz,” she told him and waited by the passenger door while he got inside.
Robbie didn’t answer or put his seatbelt back on. He just closed his eyes and turned his head as Daisy got back in the driver’s seat.
He didn’t remember the drive back, just the sound of the car door opening when Daisy stopped at Fitz’s new lab. She must have left it with someone because she came back in soon after.
They walked in silence to her quarters, and just as Robbie felt like he was imposing, he felt her grab his hand and squeeze it reassuringly. Tugging him in her small room, she led him to her bed that was tucked in the corner. After she sat him down, she turned to open the lone window and soon they were blanketed by the soft glow of dusk.
“I’m going to get dinner, lie down till I get back,” Daisy said.
His hand stopped her.
“Stay with me?” His voice was cracking, and her heart broke. She knew at that moment that there wasn’t anything she could ever deny him.
“Always,” she replied, sitting next to him and taking his hand in hers. “Always.”