Chapter Text
Kibum groaned and moved away from the gust of hot breath that rushed past his ear, a blanket of beery exhale tucking into his nostrils. He wrinkled his nose and jerked his shoulder away from the man behind him, trying to get him to uncouple from him.
‘Wait. Just a hug, please.’
He paused and tried to make sense of the voice behind him, scrunching his face and rapidly blinking his eyes. It was relatively dark in their bedroom, though the outer passage light was on, and he didn’t think he’d been asleep for very long. He knew that Jinki would be back late; he had been at a work dinner, and he always came back late. Usually he would teasingly wheedle his way into Kibum’s embrace, but today his voice was just...flat.
Kibum pulled his hand out from where it had been resting under his chin, and lifted it over his duvet, clasping the back of Jinki’s hand. It was soft and a little bit clammy, a feeling as familiar as the smell of his own perfume, and he wriggled his fingers to settle between Jinki’s, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles. Jinki flexed around his fingers momentarily, and then stilled.
Kibum swallowed. He wanted to speak, but his throat was strangely dry, and something stopped him. He breathed carefully, aware now of the suit sleeves that were warm beneath his wrist. Jinki was still dressed, and curiosity prompted him to untangle his hand and turn around, still in a half embrace.
He hadn’t even unknotted his tie.
Kibum’s brows creased as Jinki looked at him, and for a few heartbeats they lay trapped in each other’s eyes. Reflected light from the hallway glinted across Jinki’s pupils, tiny windows of exhaustion that shuttered as he blinked heavily, his face slack and devoid of any expression. Kibum studied him, lowering his eyes to sweep across his cheeks, noting the grazes that crossed though the reddened patches of his skin. As though the feather-light weight of his eyelids were too much to bear, Jinki sighed and let them flutter shut.
‘Thanks.’
Abruptly, he pulled himself away, off the bed and towards the bathroom, leaving Kibum bewildered and chewing the inside of his lip. He listened as the tap ran and the toilet flushed and as Jinki came back into the room, clad only in a vest and boxer shorts, he pushed himself up – to question, to confront – but at a skittering glance from Jinki, his words sank bank into his throat. Jinki slid under the covers and shuffled closer and closer until his head lay on Kibum’s pillow. He bridged the inch-wide gap to press a kiss to Kibum’s lips.
‘I really needed that,’ he whispered, his minted breath setting the cool imprint on Kibum’s mouth tingling. Still, Kibum didn’t say a word, trying to gauge his mood; everything felt muddled, perhaps because it was too dark, perhaps because he hadn’t woken up properly. Jinki had always respected his dislikes; disregarding them just to hold him, with no chatter, and not the hint of a joke...
They lay nose to nose for a while, eyes open, kissing in staccato, until Jinki slid down to nuzzle at Kibum’s collar bones, finally coming to a rest with his forehead pressed against Kibum’s sternum.
He sniffed once.
And then again.
An unsure, shuddering inhale vibrated though them both, sending a rush of ice chips careening down Kibum’s spine.
‘Babe?’ he whispered urgently. ‘Babe, Jinki.’ He tried to tug him away, tug him up, but Jinki shook his head emphatically, his forcibly muted sounds pinching at Kibum’s heart and causing his face to crumple. He patted him insistently, trying to clear the haze of panic in his mind, and his other hand jumped from Jinki’s shoulder to his nape. He worked upwards into hair, stroking, scratching and gently tugging at his roots.
After a time he quieted, only an occasional sniffle escaping him.
‘...Kibum?’
‘Babe?’
‘I love you.’
‘I love you too.’ He pressed a kiss to his head, more sound than feeling, and Jinki murmured in acknowledgement. There seemed to be nothing else to say, and Kibum lay staring at the dark outline of their curtains, following the rhythm of Jinki’s breath as he fell asleep. It was only as his own eyes were closing that he noticed the other sound, a soft shushing that fell around them like leaves.
He hadn’t even realised he was doing it.