Chapter Text
This… this had not gone to plan, Rick admitted to himself as he almost collapsed into his chair and produced a box of cigarettes out of his pocket. He frowned at it.
It was soaked in blood.
“Can’t even… Couldn’t even die without fucking me over, huh?” He asked of the pile of flesh and slick yellow blood on the floor. He glared at it as he opened the box anyway and found the least contaminated smoke and put it between his lips. He had to wipe his hand on his coat after pitching the rest in the direction of the garbage can. He lit it and took a long drag.
He leaned forward while exhaling and growled a few expletives under his breath. So much for not needing to get hammered this week. Well. More hammered than usual.
Morty was on a school trip and Summer had gone to college.
Rick had hoped that creating a Frankenstein type hybrid with actual intelligence to distract him would be a good idea. All had been fine right up until it went right into existential crisis and Rick had to kill it with the hammer that was now lodged in what he would generously describe a skull. The sound of the door opening and closing through the wall indicated that Beth was home and, judging by the following noises, in need of wine.
He took a long draught of his own alcohol from his flask and tried to remember what was in it. Something from Earth. So, nowhere near strong enough.
He could go for some K-Lax right about now.
He heard Jerry and Beth talking in the kitchen through the wall, in low voices, as Rick considered cleaning up the floor. He sighed, grabbed a dissolvent cube from the shelf and tossed it onto the floor and pulled off his coat and, looking at the blood on his shirt in disgust, his shirt and dumped them into the washed as he moved through the door into the kitchen.
Beth turned to look at him with a warm smile and a “Dad!”
Jerry barely responded apart from jumping in surprise and then looking at him with his normal stupid frown.
“Hey sweetie.” He smiled. She went to hug him and he stopped her.
“Don’t, I’m sweaty and blo-urp-ody.” He said without explanation. It drew a questioning glance from Jerry as he crossed to the fridge, but Beth nodded.
“So am I.” She sighed. “Five surgeries today, I’m exhausted.”
Rick grabbed a bottle of cold water and suppressed his smile of pride.
“Saving lives.” He nodded, grasping her shoulder. “That’s my girl.”
“Saving horses lives.” Jerry muttered across the island and Rick barely stopped himself from snarling the scathing retort on his tongue. Beth had one all lined up just fine.
“I’m doing washing, if you need anything done and don’t mind pigeon and Glarffion blood.” Rick told them tightly as he left the room.
Beth and Jerry went back to arguing as he let the door close and crossed to the mess on the floor and poured the water onto the dissolvent cube. It bubbled and expanded and started breaking down the flesh and blood into a much more manageable mess. He stripped off his wife-beater, pants and shoes and dumped them in the washer and turned it on.
Then he found a bottle of Kalanthian wine in the cupboard and poured himself a glass and leaned against the washer in his boxers while it filled. He could hear Beth and Jerry’s argument dying down through the door, Jerry’s apologies barely audible compared to Beth’s clear and concise annoyance.
He rolled his eyes and assured himself he was nowhere near drunk enough for this… world right now.
---
Silence in the kitchen for a long moment, bar the sound of the washer turning over through the wall, and the sound of wine pouring into the glass as Beth made herself another one. Jerry watched the red liquid fill the glass to near the top. Beth, in tight lipped silence, corked the bottle and returned it to the shelf.
Jerry figured five apologies was enough and pressed his hands into the bench awkwardly, standing so as to hide the outline of his half hard cock from the argument.
“Beth.” He started slowly. “Have… Have you thought about our discussion from last week?”
Beth sat her glass heavily on the kitchen bench and sighed loudly.
“This again?” She asked.
“It’s just… Maybe it would help-”
“You really want me to spank you while I’m angry with you, Jerry?” She asked, irritably.
“Well…” He said slowly. Beth put her free hand up to her eyes and shook her head.
“Jerry, we’ve had this discussion already.” She said. “And I’m sorry, but I just don’t feel… comfortable.”
Jerry sighed in disappointment. Trying to think of anything to convince her.
“It’s just…” He hesitated. “Maybe it would help us in the-”
“Stop, Jerry.” Beth snapped, taking another mouthful of wine. “Do you really think ‘spicing it up’ is going to save this?” She asked, her volume climbing.
Jerry felt that remark like a knife to the heart.
“Beth… I… it doesn’t have to be that…” He tried desperately to think of something to say. “But…”
“But what, Jerry?” She asked. “What, you want me to make you lick my boot, too?”
Jerry blinked and would have like to say he was both surprised and disinterested, but that was only half true.
“Want me to strap on a dick and put it in your ass, like Dave did back at college?” She added, her voice dripping with frustration.
“Beth…” He said, almost pleading with her. He could feel regret and panic incoming and he tried to ignore them to keep a level head.
“Jerry, no.” Beth said firmly, grabbing the bottle of wine from the shelf. “I’m sorry. I can’t give you what you want. Like you can’t give me what I need.” Jerry felt himself deflate. “If…” She sounded like she hesitated. Jerry was staring at the floor, fighting tears. “If you want to find someone else to ask. I’m okay with that. Just…” She sighed again. “Just don’t ask again.”
Jerry stared at the floor in silence and disappointment, feeling both deeply hurt and highly stupid. He stayed there until he heard Beth close the door to the bedroom. Silently wondering if he was sleeping on the couch tonight. The sound of the garage door opening and a hose running startled him out of his thoughts and he frowned. He took a few steps and opened the door to Ricks gara- no his garage.
Rick was standing in just his boxers, bottle of some sort of – he assumed alcohol – in one hand and the hose in the other. The jet of water aimed at the pool of yellow – he assumed blood – on the floor.
It was not a small pool.
“Jesus Rick, what happened in here?!” He asked shrilly, looking passed Rick at the dimming street to make sure no-one was looking.
Rick glanced over his shoulder with an expression of strained tolerance before turning back to the job at hand.
“Jerry, if I -urp- if I explained half the shit I do in here your brain would explode.” Rick told him flatly and took a long pull from his bottle.
Jerry had no idea how Rick, who drank and snacked constantly, could keep himself looking like he did. He was older, sure, and he was lanky, but he was lean. He was whipcord strong and Jerry had seen him exhibit surprising strength. Rick glanced around at him again, suspicion on his face. The last remnants of the yellow blood seeping into the lawn.
“You need something, Jerry?” Rick asked, turning off the hose and letting it drop to the ground.
“Huh, oh, no… I-”
“Want me to yell at you, too?” He asked, managing to stifle a burp. Jerry was surprised and confused by the question and it must have shown. “Seems like Beth has finished.”
“Ahh, no, that’s-” Jerry tried to laugh it off nervously before Rick took two steps towards him and interrupted.
“Or did you come for a spanking?” Rick asked, his usually discomforting smile turning downright cruel. Jerry took a step backwards and hit the washer, freezing as he registered what Rick had said.
Ohgodohgodohgod… Had he heard?
Rick was waiting in silence; his cruel smile and unflinching eye contact almost challenging Jerry to reply. Jerry felt like he was sweating. It was suddenly far too hot in here. His heart was probably not meant to be beating in his mouth.
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck…
He tried to form a sentence resembling “What the fuck, Rick?” but it came out in a jumble of sound.
A laugh huffed from Ricks chest. He took a pull from his bottle and broke eye contact. Jerry felt like he’d been released from a trap.
“Fuck off, Jerry.” Rick added, turning to move towards his desk.
Jerry sagged; flustering and in shock, and stumbled out of the door. He froze as it closed behind him. He put his hands on his face, feeling his heart in his throat still and took a breath. Had that just happened?
“Oh, fuck.” He whispered to himself. Ohfuckohfuckohfuck. Rick knew. Rick had heard the whole discussion. He was fucked. Rick would never let him live this down. What if he threatened to tell the kids?
“Fuck.” He breathed again.
Why the fuck was he still hard?!
He moved, almost numb, through the lounge and up the stairs to the bathroom. Thank god the kids weren’t here. Beth wouldn’t shower until the morning and Rick… could go fuck himself. He locked the bathroom door. He stripped and turned on the shower. He considered a cold one but instantly changed his mind when the cold water touched him.
He warmed it and stood under the water, staring at the wall for a long moment.
“Did you come for a spanking?” Ricks voice echoed in his head and Jerry almost grimaced in response.
“Find someone else…” Beth had said.
“Seems like Beth has finished with you.” Rick’s cruel voice laughed. Jerry frowned. That’s not what he’d said… but… Jerry looked down at himself. At his modest hard on hanging, untouched and unrelenting between his legs.
“Fuck it.” He muttered, palming his own crotch.
“If my daughter is done with you…” Rick said inside Jerry’s head. “You’ll need someone else to order you around.”
Jerry stopped for a second, letting out an audible ‘No’ as he did so. Tried very hard to stop his imagination in its tracks.
“Nice try Jerry.” Ricks voice laughed. “We both know you’re too fucked up to stop.”
Jerry had no reply to his uncaring imagination except to start stroking himself again, the warmth of the water washing over his back as he leaned one hand into the wall.
“You never wanted Beth to punish you anyway.” Rick crooned. “It was always a man. You always wanted something in your ass.”
Jerry, balancing back a little and knelt in the shower, reached back with his free hand and pressed a finger against his anus.
“Disgusting.” Rick laughed.
Jerry closed his eyes.
“If you think I’m doing it for you, Jerry, think again.” Rick would probably say. “Get yourself off, you piece of shit.”
Jerry firmed his grip on his cock and added another finger to the pressure in his ass. He pressed them inside and shuddered at the stretch.
“I bet whoever you fucked in college wouldn’t even do this for you. Look at yourself.” Rick teased. “You were just a hole for him, right?”
Jerry had to stifle a moan as he felt the pressure building in his abdomen.
“Hope he taught you how to suck a cock, Jerry, because I won’t accept half assed jobs.” Ricks voice assured him. “The only thing your mouth would ever be good for, you waste of air.”
He pushed another finger inside himself, awkward though it was to do. Jerry groaned through his teeth, hoping no-one was walking passed the bathroom.
“You wouldn’t care even if they were, Jerry.” Rick whispered. He must smell like alcohol, Jerry reasoned. “And they wouldn’t give a shit, Jerry. They already know you’re filth. Frankly, if you didn’t disgust me so much, I’d have already utilised one of your two useful functions and fucked you until you could taste it.”
Jerry made an all-to-loud noise and came onto the shower floor, hunched over himself and three fingers in his ass, Rick’s voice in the back of his mind.
“Fuck off, Jerry. I’m done with you.”