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Little Things (OLD)

Summary:

A bunch of TAZswap AU bits that aren't long enough for their own fics.

EDIT: I have since creating this decided I wanted to make my own separate au from Trainwreckgenerator's. I'm planning to rewrite a lot of these fics to fit my new changed ideas but I didn't want to delete these things I wrote so I'm separating these into a separate series from my new rewritten AU. Go check the other series for the new version!

Notes:

Anyone interested in a list of like all the little differences there would be in my TAZswap AU? Cause here it is! If I don't mention some iconic TAZ moment here, it's because it happens either almost the same as canon or like super majorly different.

Some of them are parts of longer fics I'm writing but most of them aren't. All of these are in chronological order as the actual podcast aired. There are bits from pretty much every arc all the way to the end almost. Hope you enjoy!

And of course thanks to @stargirls for beta-ing!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Gundren's bodyguard is a man named Kravitz, who "dresses like an emo teen who's just discovered the vampire aesthetic," according to Lup. He doesn't seem to realize that his horrible Cockney accent is so obviously fake, and none of the girls have the heart to point it out to him. Well, Lup does, but she's having too much fun watching him blush in response her joking flirting, despite his insistence that she's not "his type."

A few weeks into their time on the moon base, Hecuba goes on a solo trip planetside and returns with Mavis and Mookie. While this turn of events was unexpected, Captain Davenport still makes arrangements and Hecuba and her kids get their own dorm room, leaving Lup and Julia with their dank-potion-making roommate Ronnie and her love for Pringles. The Director offers to watch them when Hecuba is busy.

The Director is known as across the BoOB as the most talented writer and painter on the moon, and can often be seen on the quad sketching or paining or witing in her journals. She will usually happily talk about it with you if you ask.

There's no partially complete silverware set sold to the Fantasy Costo branch on the moon, or any other dubiously acquired items after the girls return from their adventure on the Rockport Limited.

"I get the mastiff and the bald eagle for gentle giant and mama bird over here, but why the mongoose?" asks Hurley, and Lup shrugs in response. "I just think they're neat."

The girls' new fancy dorm is big enough for Hecuba and her kids to stay with the other girls. There's a bunk bed for them in Hecuba's room, along with her own. Their new dorm also has a kitchen, and Lup takes this opportunity to show off her sweet cooking skills. The other girls don't question why someone who's such a great chef uses the microwave so often, or her need to have three fire extinguishers in the kitchen whenever the microwave is deemed inadequate and the stovetop must be used. Her jumpiness and insistence everyone stay far away from the kitchen when this happens tells them this is an issue they shouldn't pry into.

When Angus joins the Bureau, he's not the only kid up on the moon. He enjoys talking about books and such with the Director, though sometimes they have to rein in their analysis when they lose Mavis in their college-level discussion. Mookie's happy that there's another boy around, though the Director is still more open to roughhousing with him than Angus is.

On Candlenights, the exchanging of gifts is only slightly less awkward. Lup's spiced Candlenights muffins are perfect for the cold weather outside, and are declared a huge hit. Julia's carved duck for Killian is quickly proved less weird as she gives just about everyone a carved duck, all identical except for the name carved into the bottom. Hecuba's Fantasy Costco bulk-bought generic festive cards aren't much more personalized. The Director gives them each a sketched portrait of themselves. Mavis, Mookie and Angus all get one too.

The reaper they meet in Lucas's lab doesn't have a bad accent, but he is wearing a pair of crisp, blue jeans under is spooky black cloak.
"Hey, Barry?"
"Yeah?"
"Tell Magnus I love him, and that I'm trying to make him proud."

Lup snaps at the other girls when they question her decision to wear a fancy skirt on their trip to the Woven Gulch ("Wouldn't pants be better for adventuring?") She apologizes, but still asks them to make sure they never suggest that it's wrong for her to be wearing a skirt ever again.

The Chalice shows Julia and Hecuba very familiar scenes, though the scene of Magnus leaving is from a different perspective and Raven's Roost doesn't fall. It's still the last time they would see each other. Lup's scene is different, of a man dispelling a fireproofing spell and a huge cloud of smoke billowing up from the outskirts of a town gone up in flames.

When the Red Robe confronts them after they leave and asks if they trust him, Lup feels an odd force on the top of her head, as if her hat is trying to make her nod agreeance with him.

Lup's date with Death comes to an end when thousands of pairs of strange, white eyes appear in the sky.

The Director stops the girls on their way from Captain Davenport's office to the hangar before they're launched down to the Felicity Wilds. "Listen, I- be careful, okay? I- I saw what Captain Davenport looked like after he came back from his trip through Wonderland, and it wasn't pretty. Please, be careful. And good luck."

Julia forgets who killed her husband. She still hates Governor Kalen for attacking Raven's Roost, but there's no quest for vengeance. They beat him and he never returned to her life, never did anything to hurt her after that.

The sky isn't dark as they leave Wonderland, no loss of color or pillars of black falling from the sky. The Red Robe brings them to his cave, talking into his raven skull as he does.

"Do you put on the band of projected thought over or under the hat?"
"Oh, man, I was going to say under but now that you've brought it up, over totally."
"Alright. As you slip the band over the hat, all of you hear a voice that seems so familiar, and makes Lup and Kravitz's hearts ache for reasons neither of you seem to know. The voice, apparently coming from the hat, says, 'Trust Kravitz. Love Kravitz. Please, you dingus, it's me. Lup, everyone, it's me. It's T̴̡a̛̛͝͏a̸̛͝k̵̸͟o҉̷̸̡. Trust Kravitz.'"

"Hey, could one of you girls get my clothes out of that chest over there? I'm, um, I'm not going to be decent when I emerge, and I don't want it to be weird." Hecuba goes and opens the chest, and inside of it she finds black pants, a black waistcoat, and a cloak that looks like it's from a Fantasy Party City vampire costume.

When Kravitz emerges from the pod, he looks up at the three women above him with a look of fear. "Oh, oh, gods. Hey, h-hey, li-listen. Wh-Whatever I owe you, I promise I'll get it to you. Swear on the Raven Queen herself!" The girls brush him off and tell him to just put his emo clothes on and listen to his weird talking skull, we've got shit to do.

Mavis and Mookie run right up to Hecuba as they arrive back on the moonbase and hug her tightly. The Director apparently hadn't been able to keep her worries about Wonderland to herself and the kids are glad their mom is okay. As for the Director herself, her heartbroken and terrified look when only Lup and Hecuba emerge from the pod shoves the plan they had to fake Julia's death out the window as they quickly reassure her that no, see, Julia's fine! Well not fine, but she's alive! She's just... a mannequin... now.

There's no battle raging as the girls infiltrate Davenport's office and drink from the baby voidfish's tank. And they remember.

Before Julia settled down and met Magnus, she was brash and reckless and stubborn. While it's not hard to imagine current Julia fighting a giant bear, it's harder to imagine her being the one to pick that fight.

Hecuba is much more serious about confronting the Hunger in parley, but when she senses there might still be some humanity left in him, she tries to drag it out as best as she can.

Julia first learns carpentry at the Legato conservatory. Lup and Hecuba both gain students of their own, wishing to learn about their pyrotechnic displays and topiaries, respectively. Taako and Kravitz's duet is really what steals everyone's breath away and no one questions them when they sneak off afterwards.

The Director that they know now seems much more like the Lucretia they knew before her year alone with the judges.

Lup is much more nervous about the prospect of her brother becoming a lich, and makes sure her worries are heard. She doesn't stop him though, it's his choice. She's nervous as she sees his spectral form rise from his body and stay up after Kravitz has gone back down. He looks at her and death drops back into his body.

On the artificer's world, Lup makes fun of Taako's silly wizard hat, before it almost eats her newly crafted Umbrastaff after he bests her in a duel.

There's no clash against an invisible force as they confront Davenport. A battle almost breaks out among them though.
"You never even planned to let us remember ever!"
"If I did, you would have just wanted to cast the barrier! I had to keep this world safe!"
"YOU MADE ME FORGET MY FUCKING BROTHER YOU ASSWHIPE!"
"I'm sorry Lup, I wanted to let you but I couldn't edit around him with the time I had I'm sorry."
"You made Lucretia forget her own damned name!"
"I know, but if she found any of the journals I couldn't let that happen."
"..."
"I had to do it. I know there's no way any of you can forgive me, but I had to do it."
The arguing doesn't stop, and keeps escalating. As Lup hangs her head through her tears, she feels a small pressure from the hat on her head. She realizes and whips the hat off of her head and tears it in two with her bare hands. The explosion of purple smoke and glitter silences everyone as it blows them all back as Taako's lich form rises from the ruined fabric and turns to face her.
"YOU'RE DATING A MAN NAMED BAROLD BLUEJEANS?!"

They want to cast Davenport out, but they can't. They have to start planning on how to stop the Hunger. The only option left is Lucretia's plan. It's lucky they still have a few months, since the scouts came not that long ago. She's very out of practice casting any powerful spell, let alone the spells to join the Light of Creation together and cast a barrier using that power. The Bulwark Staff on its own still feels too powerful for her in her hands. So they give her time to practice and get used to it. They have until the Hunger comes, after all.

Fisher and Junior are reunited, and Julia carves them some ducks. It's not until the final battle where Johann dies that Fisher is fed the March of the Forgotten and the day of Story and Song comes into being.

The Hunger does finally arrive though, and a bit earlier than expected.

Even in his lich form, Taako isn't powerful enough to transmute the entire circle of black glass into a gateway. Out of Lup's pocket falls the emerald compact, and she meets Joaquin. The magic from their bond surges through Lup and she uses it to power up Taako, and tells him to turn it into sapphire. She rushes past her brother to leap into the startled embrace of Death and kisses his dumb cold face before he can do anything about it.

Hecuba is brought into parley just as the first signs of the Hunger begin to appear. When she emerges and begins to retell all of John's talk about bonds, Angus speaks up. Lucretia continued to hang out with them even after regaining her memory. Especially after regaining her memory. They're still her friends. "If Lucretia's barrier is going to cut off the bonds of whatever's inside of it, and the Hunger runs on bonds, why don't you cast the barrier around the Hunger?" Turns out when the untamed minds of children hang around a member of Fantasy NASA, you get some pretty good ideas.

"The Hammer and Tails: A Dog School. Founded in loving memory of Magnus Burnsides."

Notes:

I just genderbent Robbie because there weren't any other girl Bureau members to switch him with. It's functionally the exact same character.

Julia and Magnus were going to adopt a dog before he was attacked, they were thinking of getting a Mastiff.

Lup's hesitation with using the stove relies on the idea that they have either a wood burning or gas stove top, not electric. Which I mean. The Millers totally could have invented, the question is just simply if they would.

Also I have my own personal problems with Magnus forgetting Kalen. Everyone I've talked about it with says that he forgot him entirely, but then what about the battle for Raven's Roost before the attack that killed Julia? Does he not remember that? I'm in the boat of "He remembers the battle and Kalen for that but forgot that it was Kalen who destroyed the pillar and has some 'Magnus is a red robe' type static that prevents him from making the connection so he is no longer seeking vengeance."

I like my little bit that's as if it were the players speaking, not the characters. Cause you know Justin would if given the opportunity.

Barry thought he had a wild foursome with the tres horny boys when he emerged from the pod, but Krav is not into our three lovely ladies (though Lup's resemblance to Taako is probably giving him mixed signals) and so he assumes he owes them money for something, what with Krav's love of gambling.

There's some art and a fic about Taako and Kravitz' duet which are both very good which you can find here: http://trainwreckgenerator.tumblr.com/post/165246164364/this-time-it-sticks-to-the-inside-of-his-lungs

I didn't know that a death drop was called that until this AU.

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