Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Summer, 1989

Jared scowled as he buried his Spiderman figurine under a bucket of sand. “You’ll never defeat me, Spiderman!” he growled. “I am Sandman; your spider-powers are no match for me!” He dug his hand into the sand and brought the action figure to the surface, just the head, and changed his tone. “We’ll see about that, Sandman!” he crowed in Spiderman’s voice, and then made sound effect noises like Spiderman was casting his webbing. Spiderman pulled himself out of the sand (with accompanying grunts and straining) and swung over to the top of the railroad tie that was holding the sand in the box.

Next to the railroad tie was a foot, which definitely hadn’t been there a moment ago. There was someone standing right next to Jared, just outside the sandbox, and he looked up to see a boy who seemed a little older than Jared. He had light green eyes, freckles, floppy sandy-blond hair, and was smiling at him.

“Uh…” Jared said stupidly, feeling a blush creep up his neck. This kid looked friendly and… cool, there was no other way to describe him, and Jared felt like a total eight-and-three-quarters-year-old dork who still plays with toys.

“Hi!” the boy said, still smiling. “Is that Spiderman?” He sounded excited.

Jared looked down at the figurine in his hand, then back up at the boy, and didn’t feel so dumb anymore. “Yeah!” he grinned. “I have the Sandman and the Green Goblin, too!” Jared picked up the other action figures and lifted them up in the air to show the boy.

The kid sat down on the railroad tie, so Jared didn’t have to look up at him anymore. “Cool! I love Spiderman, but my Mom keeps getting me Transformers stuff. Which is okay, but I like Spiderman better.”

“Me, too!” Jared grinned at him and let the boy hold the Green Goblin and his Glider.

“How come you’re playing all by yourself?” the boy asked.

“My sister’s going to a birthday party,” Jared said and let out a long-suffering sigh. He pointed across the park to his Mom, who was currently surrounded by a dozen five-year-old girls who were having a tea party or playing dress-up or pretending to be My Little Ponies or whatever weird stuff little girls did at birthday parties. “My brother is old enough to get out of coming, but I couldn’t.”

“Oh,” the boy said. “I have a little sister, too, and she is so annoying sometimes.”

“Totally,” Jared agreed. He loved Meggie, but she was such a baby.

The other boy just grinned at him for a moment, then dropped down into the sandbox with Jared. “So can I hang out with you?”

Jared’s smile got even bigger. His family had just moved to New Braunsfels, Texas from San Antonio, and he hadn’t made any friends yet. His brother Jeff had quickly bonded with some older kids up the street, and Meggie had summer kindergarten and had immediately made friends with all the girls in her class, but Jared just hadn’t met any kids his age yet. And school wouldn’t start for another couple of months, so he’d been pretty lonely. Especially now that his dog Boots was gone. So Jared really wanted to be friends with this boy who seemed totally awesome. “Yeah! I’m Jared!” he exclaimed. “Jared Padalecki. What’s your name?”

The boy scowled. “I hate my name. It’s a stupid name. Who gives their kid a last name for a first name?”

Jared wasn’t sure what to say about that. “It can’t be that bad,” he tried. “This girl at my old school, Jamie? Her last name was Wilfahrt. Now that would suck to have as a first name.”

The boy sniggered, and his green eyes sparkled in the sunlight. “Wilfahrt?!” He broke into loud giggles and rolled onto his side on the railroad tie, clutching his stomach. “Will… fart!” he gasped between cackles.

Jared sniggered, grinning at the guy who was laughing so hard. “I know! She was nice, but her name was harsh.”

The kid sat back up, still chuckling a little. “Oh man, that would suck so hard to have as a first name. My first name isn’t that bad, but I like my middle name better. It’s an actual first name.”

“Alright, what’s your middle name?” Jared asked. He was still really curious, but if this boy would be his friend, then Jared would call him by whatever name he wanted.

“Ross.” Ross looked over at Jared and smiled. “Hi Jared, I’m Ross Ackles. Wanna be friends?”

Jared grinned so big he swore it hit his ears. “Yeah!” He shoved his hand out to Ross, whose face lit up with his smile.

“Awesome,” Ross said, shaking Jared’s hand.

Jared’s palm felt warm where Ross’s skin touched his, and happiness bloomed in his stomach. He suddenly felt like jumping around for joy. He finally had a new friend!

“So, where was your old school?” Ross asked.

“San Antonio,” Jared answered. “We just moved here, for my Dad’s job.”

“What does your Dad do?” Ross asked.

“He’s an engineer. He got a new job here in this city. My Mom’s a teacher, and she’s going to work at a school here. We just moved in a couple of weeks ago, and we still have stuff in boxes everywhere!”

“Well, welcome to the neighborhood!” Ross flung his arms wide as if he were the neighborhood welcoming committee. “What grade are you in?”

“I’ll be in fifth grade starting this fall,” Jared replied.

Ross frowned and slumped. “Dangit. I’ll be in seventh, so I won’t be at the same school as you. I’ll be in middle school.”

Jared scowled. He’d just made his first friend, but he wouldn’t be able to see him at school. And that meant that Ross was two years older than Jared, and in Jared’s experience, cool kids didn’t like to hang out with younger kids.

Jared was just starting to mourn the loss of his only friend, when Ross said, “We’ll just have to hang out after school.”

“You’d be okay with hanging out with me after school? Even though I’m in fifth grade?” Jared asked skeptically.

Ross gave him a look like he wasn’t making any sense. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”

“Well, my brother Jeff never likes to hang out with me, and he’s fourteen. And the older kids never want to play. They’re too focused on being cool.”

“Well then they’re being stupid,” Ross retorted. “I think your brother doesn’t like to hang out with you because he’s your brother. I have an older brother, Josh, and he does the same thing. All he cares about is his car and his girlfriend. He says I’m just the pipsqueak annoying little brother. It’s written somewhere in the manual of brothers that the older one has to pick on the younger one and the younger one thinks the older one is a jerk.” He nodded like he’d read this manual cover to cover and knew what he was talking about.

Jared grinned. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

Ross grinned back at him. “Well, I think you’re pretty cool, and we just promised to be friends, so who cares if you’re younger than me?”

Jared beamed at him. “Awesome! Wanna go climb on the jungle gym?” he asked, as if it would seal the deal.

Ross looked over at the playground equipment and grinned. “Yeah. Bet I can beat you there!” he said and promptly jumped to his feet and started sprinting across the grass.

“Hey, no fair!” Jared shouted and clambered after him. It took a moment, because he’d got himself buried down in the sand a bit, but he dashed after Ross, who was laughing loudly.

Predictably, Ross beat Jared to the jungle gym, but not by much. He turned around and faced Jared, panting, and grinning smugly. “I win!”

Jared slammed into the bars right next to him. “Only because you got a head start!”

Ross giggled. “Yeah. Wanna race for real?”

Jared looked at the park. “How about to the slide and back?”

“Okay,” Ross nodded. “The one who wins is fastest runner in the park!”

Jared thought for a moment, and then grinned. “Yeah.”

“Okay. Ready?” Ross asked, then crouched into a runner’s squat.

Jared did the same, and then as one, they yelled, “Ready, set, go!”

This time Ross didn’t have a head start, but he was just a bit bigger than Jared, and had slightly longer legs. Jared ran as fast as he could, wanting to impress the older boy, and they touched the slide only a second apart.

“Come on slow poke!” Ross hollered.

“Slow poke?” Jared gasped, and put on another burst of speed, feeling his feet pound against the grass.

They crashed into the bars of the jungle gym at exactly the same time. “Ha!” Jared crowed. “Can’t be a slow poke if we tied!”

“Okay,” Ross grinned, panting.

Jared threw his arms up in the air and bounced. “And the title of Fastest Runner in the park goes to Jared and Ross!”

“Woohoo!” Ross yelled, and then broke out into song. “We are the champions, my friend!”

Jared joined him for the next verse. “And we’ll keep on fighting till the end! We are the champions, we are the champions!” They were both dancing around like dorks, but Jared didn’t care. He hadn’t been this happy since before Boots died last Christmas.

“Jared!” His mother’s voice cut into their rendition of Queen.

Jared spun around and saw his Mom walking in their direction.

“Jared, it’s time for the birthday cake and to open presents,” she said.

“Cool!” Jared grinned. That was the best thing about being dragged to this stupid birthday party. Other than meeting Ross of course. Jared never said no to cake. Especially chocolate cake. “Can Ross come, too?”

His Mom gave him a strange look and opened her mouth to speak, but then a girl shrieked at the top of her lungs. Sharon whipped around to see Meggie crying, looking like she was gearing up for a major tantrum. “Uh oh,” she sighed, heading back toward the girls to try to help prevent a meltdown. “Come on, Jared, if you want any cake,” she called over her shoulder.

“But Mom, can Ross come too?”

“Fine,” she said without looking back at him.

“All right!” Jared pumped his fist and turned to Ross. “Let’s go get some cake!”

Ross grinned and jogged with him toward the picnic tables.

Thankfully the girls had already dug into their cake and were playing with unwrapped toys, so they were preoccupied enough to not be annoying little brats to Jared and Ross. Jared’s mother was talking to another mom, so Jared just put two pieces of cake on his plate, grabbed a couple of forks, and a big cup of punch.

“Let’s go sit over there,” he said, gesturing to the next table over, one partially hidden by a tree.

They ate off the same plate, battling each other with their forks for the last globs of icing. Ross grinned at Jared with chocolate icing all over his teeth, and Jared laughed so hard he fell off the bench.

After that, Jared saw Ross every day over the summer. Ross would come to Jared’s house and they’d play in the back yard, building forts out of folding lawn chairs and having light-saber fights with foam noodles. Or they would meet at the park, and chase each other all over the jungle gyms and slides until they couldn’t breathe and would collapse on the grass. And every time that Ross would look over at him and grin, his teeth white in the sunshine and his green eyes sparkling, something in Jared’s stomach would flutter happily and Jared felt like he was never going to have a better friend than Ross.

It was even more fun because he got Ross all to himself. Meggie was at summer kindergarten, Jeff was old enough to go to his friends’ house on his own, and Erica, Jared’s babysitter while his mom and dad were at work, was content to let Jared and Ross play in the yard without bothering them except to tell him when she’d made snacks. Jared thought she was weird, because she would sit in the living room and watch Days of Our Lives and other boring daytime shows. Jared wouldn’t have minded watching cartoons or playing on the Nintendo if he could have wheedled her into giving up the television, but it was more fun to make his own adventures with Ross.

They were currently camped out on their stomachs underneath a blanket propped up by two lawn chairs, just lying together and talking. Ross was warm along Jared’s side, and they kept kicking their feet together.

“I want to get a dog,” Ross said.

“I had one, but she died,” Jared said softly, feeling a pang of loss at the memory. He hadn’t thought about Boots in a long time.

“Oh, man, that sucks,” Ross said, and bumped Jared’s shoulder with his own. “How did she die?”

“She got hit by a car,” Jared said. “We were playing Frisbee in the park, me and a bunch of kids, and she was running around in between all of us, trying to catch it. Then Ryan made a bad toss, and it flew out into the street, and she chased it and got run over.”

They were both silent for a moment, during which Ross leaned closer to Jared. “I’m sorry,” Ross said.

“She was my best friend,” Jared replied. “I was so mad at Ryan over it at first, but it was an accident, really. Ryan offered to get us a new dog, but I don’t want another dog, not yet anyway.”

“Yeah, I get that. Maybe when you’re older,” Ross suggested. “So I guess I won’t be getting you a puppy for your birthday.”

Jared laughed softly. His birthday was coming up and his family was asking him what he wanted. Just as long as they didn’t get him clothes again, he’d be happy. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. I think Mom would have a cow if it wasn’t something she okayed first.”

“When is your birthday party, anyway?” Ross asked.

“Next weekend. You’re coming, right?”

“I’ll have to check with my Mom, but I’ll try real hard. I wanna be there when you turn the big nine.” Ross grinned cheekily at him.

“Shut up,” Jared growled. “Not like you’re that much older and wiser, oh mighty eleven-year-old.”

Ross snickered. “Still older than you. I’ll get my driver’s license before you.”

“And you’ll get grey hair before me, too,” Jared retorted, sticking his tongue out.

Ross laughed some more. “I’ll hit puberty before you.”

“Ew, and then you’ll probably go girl-crazy like Jeff and you’ll abandon me.”

“Ew, no way,” Ross said with a scowl. “Girls are gross. Josh is girl-crazy, too, always talking about boobs, and I just don’t get it. They’re always giggling and shrieking and putting paint on their faces.” He shuddered, and Jared could feel it along his side.

Jared laughed. “Totally.”

“And you’re my best friend,” Ross said, his eyes dark green in the shade of the blanket. “You’ll always be my best friend, even if you’re a little pipsqueak.”

Jared was touched for about two seconds, before the insult set in. “Hey! I am NOT a pipsqueak! You’re only a couple inches taller than me!”

“That makes you short, pipsqueak!” Ross smirked.

Jared stuck his tongue out at Ross again. “Won’t always be that way,” he said. “All the guys in my family are tall. Jeff is already about five-eight, and he’s only fourteen. Dad is six-two. All of my uncles are over six feet tall.”

Ross looked Jared up and down dubiously. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. Until then, you’re a pipsqueak!”

Jared shoved Ross with his shoulder, and Ross burst out laughing. Jared shoved him again, and Ross rolled over, knocking the folding chair over and collapsing their fort. The blanket fell in Jared’s face, and he ended up lying with his head on Ross’s stomach, laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe.

Jared pouted all the way through his birthday party. It was just his family, and they didn’t just get him clothes—he got some more action figures and games for the Nintendo, too, which was really cool. But even though he'd had fun, Ross wasn’t there.

“What’s wrong?” his Mom asked him when he was spending more time mashing his cake up with his fork than eating it.

“Ross didn’t come,” Jared answered.

“Jared, honey, I’m worried about you,” she said. “You’re spending all your time playing with Ross, but I’ve never met him.”

Jared looked up, pole-axed. “What? Of course you have! I met him at Meggie’s friend’s party! You said he could have cake with us!”

His Mom frowned, looking thoughtful. “Yes, I remember that, but I don’t remember ever seeing another boy.”

“Mom, there were like twelve dozen little girls there,” Jared pointed out. Surely she’d just been distracted?

“Hmm…” She bit her lip. “Okay,” she conceded after a moment. “But the next time he comes over, I want to meet him.”

Jared nodded. “Sure, Mom. I just wish he’d been able to come to my party.”

His Mom gave him a gentle squeeze. “I’m sure he wanted to, if he’s as good of a friend as you say he is. Maybe something happened with his family and he couldn’t come.”

“Yeah, okay,” Jared shrugged. He hoped something wasn’t wrong and spent the rest of the party worrying about his best friend.

Jared woke up to a tapping noise. He sat up blearily in bed, thinking he’d dreamed it. But then he heard it again. Tap, tap, tap. It was coming from his window.

Jared climbed out of bed and pulled up the blinds.

“Psst! Jared!”

Jared opened the window and pressed his face to the screen. Ross was standing in the flower bed and using a stick to knock on Jared’s window.

“Ross?”

“Hey, man!” Ross grinned with relief.

“What are you doing here?” Jared asked, though he was really happy to see him.

“I couldn’t miss your birthday, moron,” Ross whispered.

Jared looked over at his alarm clock. It read 11:47. “You just barely made it,” he grinned. “What happened today?”

“Can you come outside?” Ross asked. “I want to give you your present.”

Jared thought for a moment. His parents would be asleep; they both had to work early in the morning, and Jared was really glad that their room was on the second floor in the back of the house. “Yeah, go to the front porch. I’ll be there in a minute.”

Ross’s smile gleamed in the moonlight.

Jared pulled on pajama bottoms and socks, and then ran his hand through his hair. He carefully crept down the hall and out the front door, making sure to not let the screen door slam.

Ross was standing by the steps, holding a small box. “Hey, Jared,” he said softly, and then stepped forward to give Jared a hug. He smelled like sweat and stale car upholstery, and grass and boy. Jared squeezed him tightly for a moment before pulling back.

“I’m really sorry I missed your party, Jared,” Ross said. “Josh had a soccer tournament in another town, and that ran way long, and they won so they had a team party with all of the families at this restaurant that took forever, and then Mom wanted to do some shopping while we were there before the stores closed, and we didn’t get home until after dark, and then I had to wait for everyone to go to sleep because they didn’t want me coming over to see you this late.”

Jared just grinned stupidly at the way Ross was rambling on. It was kind of funny, like maybe Ross was nervous.

“Okay, I forgive you,” Jared said.

“Oh good,” Ross beamed and let out a huge sigh of relief. “I didn’t want you to be mad at me.”

“You’re my best friend, Ross,” Jared said. “Even if we got mad at each other, we’d make up, right?”

Ross grinned again. “Right.”

“And you came over so you wouldn’t miss my birthday. That gets you some extra best friend points,” Jared said confidently.

“Ooh, cool, does that mean I can get you to do me a favor or something? Get you to mow the lawn for me?” Ross smirked.

“No, jerk,” Jared laughed and shoved him. “It just means that you get a bonus five points on the awesome friends card. It’s how we prove how good of friends we are.”

“Oh, okay then.” Ross smiled, and then he shuffled his feet a little, suddenly looking nervous again. “I couldn’t get you anything big for your birthday, but when I saw this I thought of you. Um… happy birthday, Jared.” He shoved the small, unwrapped box into Jared’s hands.

Jared opened the box and gasped. “It’s Boots!” It was a small porcelain figurine that was a near-replica of his dog. It wasn’t exact, but it was close enough. Jared turned around and held the figurine up to the porch light so he could get a better look at it. It was a little German Shepherd that had black feet, with her tail frozen in a wag and a playful grin on her face, just like Boots always had. There was a small scratch of JRA on the bottom—Ross had marked it for him. Jared was stunned, and wondered absently for a second what the J stood for, but then Ross started rambling again.

“You showed me her picture, and I thought this would be a good way to remember her. I know it’s not something cool like a new X-Men toy or a Nintendo game, but…”

“It’s great, Ross,” Jared choked. His eyes were blurring with tears, and he took a deep breath to try to rein in his emotions. Boys don’t cry, Jared, you’re nine now, he scolded himself. “It’s awesome. I got a bunch of toys and games at the party, anyway. This is way better than any of that stuff.” He quickly wiped at his eyes and turned back around to face Ross, who was biting his lip nervously.

“Really?” Ross said, unsure.

Jared beamed at him. “Really. I’ll put her on my desk. Thank you.” Unable to stop himself, he gave Ross another hug.

“Awesome,” Ross breathed into his neck, and squeezed him back.

Jared pulled away and grinned. Ross returned the smile, his eyes glowing golden in the yellow porch light.

“I’d better get back home,” Ross said.

“Yeah, and I’d better get back inside,” Jared answered. “See you tomorrow?”

“Definitely!” Ross agreed as he hopped down their front steps. “Night!”

“Night!” Jared called softly, waving. He stood there for a long minute, watching Ross jog down the sidewalk, and then went back in the house, making sure the screen door didn’t slam.

He smiled all night in his sleep.

Every morning when he got out of bed, Jared would touch the little figurine of Boots. Ross continued to come over during the day when Jared’s parents were at work and Erica the babysitter watched who knows what on the television and talked to boys on the phone all day. Ross would be busy with his own family on the weekends, which was okay with Jared. He’d be happy to spend every day with Ross, but he understood.

Some days they hung out in Jared’s back yard, and other days they went down to the park and played catch or shared gummi bears on the swings.

“So how come you haven’t asked me about my first name?” Ross asked Jared one afternoon in early August.

It was hot, and they were both sitting on the swings, idly kicking back and forth. Jared had spun around in his swing until the chains had twisted as much as they could. He picked up his feet and the chains promptly un-twisted, spinning Jared around rapidly.

“I dunno,” he said when he stopped spinning. It took a moment for the world to stop whirling and right itself again. “You said you hated your name, and you’re my best friend, so I’m gonna call you by the name you like.” He shrugged. “If you wanna tell me, that’s cool. I promise I won’t make fun of you for it. But it’s also totally cool if you don’t tell me.”

Ross just eyed him for a moment, then started twisting his swing around like Jared had done. “You promise you won’t tease me?” he asked softly.

“Want me to pinky swear?” Jared smirked.

“Girl,” Ross retorted. “I’m serious.”

“I know,” Jared answered. “Yes, I promise,” he said, putting his hand over his chest. “I solemnly swear that I will not tease you about your first name.”

Ross lifted his feet and spun around for a minute while the chains untwisted. His feet kicked out and just grazed Jared’s knee. Jared swung around and deliberately crashed into Ross as he unwound.

“Jerk!” Ross laughed, his eyes crossing and looking like he was still dizzy.

Their swings tangled together, and it took them a moment to disentangle themselves, Jared laughing the whole time. He tugged Ross off the swings and dragged him over under a tree, sighing in relief as they reached the shade. He dropped onto the grass, and Ross flopped down next to him, still chuckling.

Jared gazed up at the branches, watching the way the light played on the leaves and how the blue of the sky fluttered through the green and brown.

“Jensen,” Ross said softly after a long moment of quiet. “My name is Jensen Ross Ackles.”

Jared turned that over in his head. “Jensen Ross,” he murmured.

He felt Ross flinch next to him, as if he was bracing for a taunt. So he rolled onto his side and propped his head up on one arm, grinning at his best friend. “Jensen Ross. I like it. It’s different, but… what’s the word? Unique. There are a lot of Jareds out there, but I bet there’s only one Jensen.”

Ross looked up at him through his lashes, green eyes soft in the shade. “Really?” he asked hesitantly.

Jared nodded. “Yeah, I really do like it. A lot. It’s different, but when I look at you, it makes perfect sense.” And it did; it felt right. Jared gazed at Ross, feeling closer to his best friend than he’d ever felt to anyone that wasn’t his mom. Warmth spread in his stomach, and he smiled. Jensen, Jared thought, feeling the name settle into his bones. “Yeah, it really suits you. But I’ll still call you Ross if you want.”

Ross looked immensely relieved, and he smiled softly at Jared. “Thanks, Jared,” he said, and Jared knew he meant thank you for being cool about it.

“No problem,” he replied.

Summer crawled along, hot and muggy, and pretty soon they were nearing the end of August. With school coming up, Jared’s mom dragged him out shopping for school clothes, complaining that he’d grown a couple of inches since summer started. Jared just grinned to himself and muttered, “pipsqueak, ha!” under his breath.

“What was that, honey?” his mom asked.

“Nothing. Just something Ross said.”

His mom frowned, but Jared didn’t understand why.

“I still haven’t met Ross,” she said eventually.

“He comes over during the day when you’re at work, but he has to go home before his parents come home. So he’s gone by the time you get back,” Jared answered, looking at a shirt with Spiderman on the front. He wasn’t sure why this bothered his mom so much.

“Huh,” she said. “Well, I’ll just have to see if I can come home early to meet him. He sounds like a good boy, and I want to know who you’re hanging out with.”

“Okay, sure, Mom,” Jared shrugged. Ross was his best friend; of course he wanted his mom to meet him and like him.

Jared and Ross were in the back yard, once again under the fort of folding chairs and blankets, this time reading a comic book together.

“Jared, your mom’s home!” Erica called from the kitchen window.

Jared looked up from the comic and over at Ross. “Oh, good. Mom’s been complaining about wanting to meet you. Maybe now she’ll quit nagging me.”

Ross grinned. “Okay.”

They clambered out of the fort and headed back into the house, Ross just behind Jared.

“Hi mom!” he said when he went into the kitchen. His mom was standing there, writing Erica a check to cover the babysitting.

“Hi honey,” she said without looking up from her checkbook.

“You’ve been wanting to meet Ross, Mom, so here he is,” Jared said, stepping to the side so she could see his best friend.

She looked up at Jared, smiling, but then her smile gradually faded. Erica looked at him like he had two heads.

“Where is he?” his mom asked.

Jared laughed, thinking she was joking. “He’s right here,” he said, grabbing Ross’s arm.

“Hi, Mrs. Padalecki,” Ross said softly.

She didn’t respond, just continued to look at Jared, concerned. Erica giggled.

“There’s no one there, Jared. Don’t play jokes on me. Tell your friend to come out of hiding.”

Jared’s jaw dropped. Ross was standing right next to him, right in front of the refrigerator. “I’m not playing jokes. Are you blind? He’s right here!” He shook Ross a little to emphasize his point.

Ross looked over at Jared, clearly distressed.

His mother’s face went from concerned to edging on panic. “Jared, the only boy in this room is you.”

Jared looked over at Erica, who was starting to appear concerned herself. “Erica, you’ve seen Ross, he comes over all the time.”

“I’ve seen you playing by yourself all day in the yard, Jared. You run around the yard and build forts, but you’re always alone,” she said softly.

Jared looked over at Ross, who was clearly just as confused as he was, and tried not to panic. “No, he’s real. He’s real and he’s right here!” Ross wrapped an arm around Jared and squeezed. He smelled like boy and grass and Ross, and he was warm and solid against Jared’s side.

“Jared…” his mother said softly, firmly, in her “let’s stay calm and reasonable” voice. “…Honey, there is no one standing next to you.” And to emphasize her point, she stepped forward, reached through Ross, and opened the refrigerator door.

Jared shrieked and jerked backwards toward the counter, the edge digging painfully into his spine. His mom pulled out a jug of sweet tea, right through Ross’s chest, and set it on the counter. She then walked through Ross and cupped Jared’s face.

“Honey, Ross isn’t there,” she said, her brown eyes worried. “He’s not real. He’s imaginary. Sweetie, you’re too old to have imaginary friends.”

Jared barely noticed the tears streaming down his cheeks. “But he’s real, he’s my best friend in the whole wide world! He has to be real!” He looked past his mom’s shoulder at Ross, who was pale and clearly in shock. Ross looked so terribly sad that Jared’s heart broke right there.

“Jared, I’m real, I know I’m real,” Ross pleaded, his voice wavering. “You’re my best friend, too, Jared!”

“No, Jared, there’s no one there,” his mom said again, her voice soothing. “He’s not real.”

Jared spent another long moment just staring at Ross, his green eyes glistening with tears as he hugged his arms to his chest. “Jared…” he whispered. And then Ross just… vanished. Dissipated. Dissolved into thin air.

Jared gaped at the empty space where Ross was just standing, for a few seconds, and then felt his heart shatter. “Ross! Ross! No! Where did you go?! Ross! He’s gone! No! He’s gone! Ross! Mom, bring him back!” He started sobbing hysterically, his whole world yanked out from underneath him.

His mother gathered him into her arms, carding her fingers through his hair. “Erica, you’d better go home,” she said softly. Jared barely heard her as he wailed his anguish into her chest. The screen door banged shut, and Jared knew he was alone with his mother.

She picked him up and carried him to his room, cooing softly into his ear as he bawled. Jared barely registered the trek, only noticing when she set him down on his bed.

“Oh baby, it’s okay,” she soothed. She pulled his shoes and socks off and tucked him under the covers, snuggling him closely. “It’s going to be okay, Jared,” she whispered into his hair. “You’re going to be okay, honey.”

Jared cried himself to sleep curled up in his mother’s arms.

When Jared woke up several hours later, his eyes felt swollen and burned, and his throat was raw. His mom wasn’t in the room anymore, but he could hear her voice in the kitchen, along with his father’s. He heard the words “psychiatrist” and “imaginary friend” and “too old,” but he couldn’t quite make out the rest of what they were saying. He could tell that they were worried from their tone.

He stared up at the ceiling, completely confused and just wrung out. He’d spent his whole summer with his best friend Ross, who wasn’t even real. Who vanished into thin air in his kitchen, right before his eyes. Was his mom right? Was Ross imaginary? Had he been so lonely for a good friend since Boots died that he just made one up?

Jared looked over at his desk, and there she was—the figurine of Boots that Ross had given him for his birthday.

Jared rolled over and buried his face into his pillow, sobs of anguish starting anew.