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Namjoon heard the drops of rain crashing on the transparent window of his room. Even though it was waterlogged, cloudy and dull, the vision of this sky got him into a soothing serenity. The droplets sound of water crashing down on the roof as well as the glass walls carried him away. He closed his eyes as he listened to this melodious sound. He decided to put the book he was holding in his hands on the table in front of him. Then he laid on his bed with his hands crossed on his flat stomach and opened his eyes to dive into his thoughts. These were diverse and random not consisting of only one reflection, but several.
In the past, omegas had fought for their rights and against constant stereotypes that the government was trying to force on them. The standards being that an omega “should” according to them: be lovely, bear as many children as possible, do not disobey or rebel against their alpha and follow the orders of the upper classes. As for education where they tried to dissuade them from pursuing studies as journalist or doctor favoring a future where they were housewives only good at taking care of children and closing their mouths against all the injustices against them. Yes, the government was unfair, there was no doubt about it.
Fortunately, mentalities had evolved, and all prejudices had decreased without disappearing. Although the conservatives, as well as those with a superiority complex, didn’t want to change their opinion about how an omega should act, being too narrow-minded to see what they could gain out of this. The past of the omegas and their conditions at the time were disastrous. Being most often condemned to a hard life at the mercy of their husband or wife. It was through the dedication of the omegas and with the help of other betas and alphas they could change this, thus obtaining their much-desired freedom to act as they wished. From that day on, most people no longer treated the omegas as they used to because they understood that it was discriminatory and unfair. This way of acting wasn’t the right one. Although they still had some difficulties with some people whose mentality hadn't budged.
As an alpha, he had to treat them with respect and care. Like flowers to which love, affection, tenderness, and treatment as equals was essential to see them flourish, like everyone else. It wasn’t mistreating them, as one part of the government was saying, this would happen. No, their way only served to belittle omegas to feel superior to someone that had asked nothing else than to be recognized for what they were in reality. In this way, only the fear and the self-confidence of omegas could drastically decline. They didn’t deserve all of this for the fact that this one part of the government needed a target to increase his self-confidence. It disgusted him.
He was going to join the world of dreams when suddenly he heard powerful knocks on the door of the room he shared with Taehyung. The younger had left to sleep on the large sofa in the living room alongside Jungkook, claiming a Ghibli film marathon. Besides, it couldn’t be him because he would have opened the door shamelessly. But who could knock at this hour ? Midnight had already passed a long time ago as he frowned, wondering which member needed him at this time. A sigh went through the barrier of his lips as he ran his hands over his face. If there was something he didn’t want to do now, it was moving from that comfortable place his bed was. He hoped for a moment that the person had given up, thinking he had already fallen asleep. But the knocks got more repetitive and powerful. This time, he had no choice. A groan passed the barrier of his lips as he got up from his bed, heading towards the front door, grumbling at the person coming to disrupt his way to the arms of Morpheus.
While dragging his feet, he went to the source of the noise, which started again. Before opening it, he looked through the lock, trying to see someone familiar but he only saw a person wearing a hoodie which covered his head. He frowned, dubious. The hoodie only permitted him to see a part of his face, without seeing his eyes. It didn’t mean anything good. None of the members, unless there were struggling with serious problems, showed up at the door like this. Moreover, without pronouncing any words. It could only mean one thing, one of the member was feeling down. Then, the person's previously lowered head, lift up and allowed him to confirm his thoughts. Recognizing the member older than him, he hurriedly opened the door.
His eyes wide-open, he said hesitantly, "Yoongi-hyung? "
He couldn’t believe his eyes. Yoongi was in front of his door at a late hour and close to tears. His beautiful eyes were as red as a rose of the same color. There was, inside of these, sorrow and anger that made Namjoon worried. Seeing Yoongi crying was something rare which only happened when he was exhausted and couldn’t hold back his emotions any longer. It wasn’t the first time he had seen it, on the contrary, every time Yoongi had a mental breakdown Namjoon had seen it. It was a sight in which he hated to be the witness more than anything. Seeing him like that broke his heart into pieces, him who was doing his best to keep his head up.
Yoongi was someone important to him. He had always been there for him when he felt depressed or discouraged. Instead of telling him to think positive, he tried to understand and comfort him when his dark thoughts took over him. He helped him feel better or, in some cases, to sink with him into those. Both shared an indescribable link that allowed them to understand each other without even saying a word. They shared the same common reflexions on different topics, which brought them closer together. Both could debate for hours without worrying about the world around them. They enjoyed the presence of each other more than anyone else.
Seeing that Yoongi wouldn’t make any gestures to enter his room, Namjoon took his hand and led him inside. Once the door closed, he turned to Yoongi and waited for him to stand in front of him. But the smallest kept still. His empty eyes were staring at the ground without blinking. He just looked like an empty shell. Namjoon wondered how Yoongi could draw any strength inside him to keep himself from collapsing. He could see how bad Yoongi was, as slight tremors were shaking his whole body. His arms were placed along his body as if they had suddenly become too heavy for him. No emotion was visible in his brown eyes, except for emptiness. He looked so frail and broken that Namjoon had to repress a thrill of horror to run his spine. Frightened and worried he was. What could have broken Yoongi like this?
In this condition, the smallest of them only looked like a zombie. He could feel that if he didn’t help Yoongi, he would keep still and would be able to stay there all night, curled up with his head buried in his arms. Therefore, he took the initiative to put his hands on Yoongi’s frail shoulders and guide him to his bed. But Yoongi startled so he decided to reassure him by telling him what he wanted him to do. He said while trying to catch his eye.
"Yoongi, are you coming? "
Yoongi looked up and stared blankly at Namjoon who was pointing his bed decorated with the various stuffed animals of Ryan and Brown. He seemed to be trying to figure out what he wanted until he slowly nodded and followed Namjoon. Gently, he sat down on the gray bed while letting his nails penetrate the palms of each of his hands. His fingers applied a considerable pressure that brought out the veins under his skin. Noting this, Namjoon knelt in front of Yoongi and gently put his hands on his. He ignored the slight jerk of Yoongi and tried to catch his gaze, which had set on his tight knees.
When finally, after a few seconds Yoongi decided to look him in the eyes, he shook his head to make him understand it was useless to persist in doing this to his own hands. He felt Yoongi's hands resist a little longer until their grip loosened and came to meet on his knees. Namjoon sighed in relief, afraid that Yoongi would have eventually gotten hurt.
Having to deal with Yoongi like that might seem odd since Yoongi was a very independent person who hated to show some of his weaknesses. But it was not, on the contrary, it was his duty to take care of him just as he did with him when he found himself in the same situation. It was on Yoongi’s shoulders he had poured his emotions. And it’s was his arms that had embraced him when he needed to feel another person against his skin and listen to their beating hearts. The comforting words that managed to make him forget for a time his problems.
It was also necessary to understand that Yoongi only let himself go in front of him and almost no one else. Yoongi trusted him and was all that mattered to him. They had shared their tears, their rage and their dread of today’s world, and the feeling of not being able to reach their dreams in a society where those were devoid of interest. Feelings of injustice reigned in them as only the safe paths, oriented towards studies were privileged, mostly devoid of dreams and passion, which could lead to fulfillment. But it was something their society hadn’t yet understood, being too much involved in the gearing it had initiated.
Namjoon told Yoongi to lie on his bed, which he did without complaining, while himself took place. Their eyes fixed on the ceiling without any of them speaking. Namjoon knew it was useless to ask him what was bothering him, knowing him too well. If there was one thing he had understood during those eight years spending by his side, it was he shouldn’t force Yoongi to talk about what was disturbing him. Otherwise, he would close like an oyster.
Suddenly, he felt Yoongi's head turn to his, seeking his gaze to get his attention, a sign he was ready to speak. Yoongi took his free hand and interlaced their fingers. It was by looking into Yoongi's eyes he could perceive all the dread that was inside him.
It was then that, unexpectedly, Yoongi said in a feverish voice.
"I-I am an omega. "
His heart missed a beat as his eyes widened. Yoongi an omega ?
He saw tears beginning to gather in Yoongi's previously emotionless eyes. Without warning, Namjoon took him in his arms, while holding him tight against his chest where he let him shed tears. Yoongi's hands clenched his pajamas, his head buried against him. His hands rubbed his back as he stroked Yoongi's head. Then, he whispered tender words to him without waiting for more, knowing that what he had confessed was already a big step forward. His sobs became louder and louder, which only broke his heart a little bit more.
Although he was a little shocked by this revelation, he didn’t intend to show it. He didn’t want to upset him more than he already was. However, it had been a few months since he had noticed the change in his smell as he was almost always with him. He had hesitated to talk with Yoongi about it. But he had finally resigned, thinking it was better that such an important thing shouldn’t be obtained by the constraint, but by the will of the person. Against his chest, he heard Yoongi whispering.
"It hurts so much ..."
Yoongi had pronounced those words in a shattering voice, which almost made Namjoon cry. Which increased this feeling, was their very close relationship, almost connected. When Yoongi was suffering, Namjoon was suffering along with him and vice versa. It was a thing which developed easily between each category when two people spent a lot of time together while trusting each other and being tactile. The smell of the two people could even combine when they stayed together for a very long time. It seemed quite absurd said as such, but it was the truth.
All he could do now was comforting him, so he hugged him while stroking his back. But Yoongi's cry intensifies and he didn’t know what to do to calm him down. He held him a little more tightly, trying to soothe his torment even a little. He felt Yoongi tighten his grip on his pajamas. It clenched and unfolded according to his emotions. At that moment, Yoongi reminded him of an angel whose white wings had been removed from his back. And so, devoid of any power.
Yoongi took off his head from Namjoon's chest and stared at his worried eyes. Namjoon could see the despair inside his pupils. Without really expecting it, Yoongi spoke again.
"I would have wanted to be an alpha. My life would have been simpl-“
When he heard Yoongi say those words, his brows furrowed. He took in his big hands the face of Yoongi while staring into his eyes.There was only disbelief in his previously empty orbs due to his gesture. He opened his mouth and said firmly.
"Yoongi, it's not because you're an omega that you have to let yourself down. Being a- »
At this sentence, Yoongi frowned and murmured venomously, while trying to remove Namjoon's hands from his face.
"It's easy for you to say. You are an alpha. Your li- »
It was Namjoon's turn to frown. He sighed and said compassionately.
"Let me finish, please. And then I promise you I'll let you say whatever you want. "
The tallest man looked so convincing that Yoongi, though skeptical, let him speak. Namjoon continued.
"Being an omega will not take away who you are. The fact that you can give birth or have heat will not make you any weaker. Of course, I can’t promise you nothing will change for you because yes, your way of living will surely change, but not you. You will always be the strong and honest person I know. The person who doesn’t give a shit about what people think of him as long as he’s sure that what he’s doing is the right thing. The person who never lower his eyes to anyone and puts himself forward when something is unfair. But you’re also a sweet and emotional person. And finally, the person who is the dearest to me. I would put my life into your hands, Yoongi, and you will only change if you decide to change. But you'll stand upright, proud in front of some alpha bastards who will only see you as someone weak and you will show them what it is to disrespect an omega. You will see their face break down when they're going to be beaten by someone supposedly inferior to them. Omegas are strong, even stronger than Alphas. Maybe not on the physical level but in term of mental. The fact that you're an omega won’t take anything away from you. "
He stared at Yoongi who was speechless at his words.
"As for the rest, we will talk to Bang PD who I’m sure won’t be surprised. He always had a step ahead of us. Regarding your condition, I will support you and won’t change my behavior towards you. I will try to help you as much as I can within the limits of what is possible. You won’t be alone Yoongi, the members and I will be by your side no matter what happens. ", he finished.
Yoongi felt his eyes fill with tears again, ready to run down his cheeks any moments now. He wiped them with his sleeve while hiding his face from Namjoon's view. His words had touched his heart, making him regain the self-confidence he had lost. For months, his self-esteem had drastically dropped, due to the mark on his left hip, now signed in indelible ink on his skin. The symbol each omega bore at a random place on their body which was only shameful for him. He had spent time hiding it from the sight of the other members.
No matter how much he had scratched this, it had never disappeared to his dismay. His body had changed over the days. The nights spent crying miserably on his fate, paying attention to the fact that no one notices him, weren’t unknown to him. It had broken something in him. Throughout his entire life, he had been convincing he would later become an Alpha. He even came to be jealous over Namjoon’s alpha status. After all, his personality and strength of character were two essential points that defined a future alpha. So why ? Why was he destined to be an omega ?
But after those words, he realized that what he was saying was true. It was not his mark the which would change something to the person he had become. Of course, things had changed in him, but he always remained the same person, only with new constraints. It shouldn’t define the person he was, on the contrary, he had to learn to deal with it if he wanted to move forward. And then, Namjoon will be there to support him and the other members. Moreover, he couldn’t forget he wasn’t the only omega in the group because Taehyung was one too.
Namjoon's words had managed to soothe him a little, although his fears were still inside him and would take a long time to disappear. But it was a step towards accepting what he was. An Omega. He had freed him from one of his burdens, reassuring him and helping him to rationalize. What he had been unable to do because of all the emotions this situation had caused. Yoongi felt like trapped in an endless tunnel where he could only run towards a nonexistent way out.
Without Namjoon expecting this, Yoongi pulled him against him and positioned his head in the crook of his neck. Although a little surprised by this sudden gesture, Namjoon wrapped his arms around Yoongi's waist and held him in an attempt to comfort him. He caressed his hair with his cheek, smelling his new scent. This one was much more pronounced than usual due to the changes which took place in his body. Given that his hormones were in full swing, he unconsciously pushed his instincts to protect him even though he knew Yoongi was in no way in need of protection. Although he possessed a frail body as well as soft characteristics, this didn’t change his strong personality which didn’t submit to anyone. And that's what Namjoon liked about him, his way of always staying true to himself while trying to improve.
But behind the impassive facade, he used with people he didn’t know, hid a tender and compassionate personality. It was through gestures he showed his attention to people. For example, the day he lost his wallet, Yoongi bought him one two days later without asking for anything. Or the time he stayed during the winter holidays with Hoseok because he was alone in the dormitory. In fact, he was a very gentle person with those who were close to him and whose discreet attention touched other.
Namjoon whispered in his ear.
"Do you want to sleep with me tonight ? Taehyung won’t be here this night, and my bed is big enough for both of us. "
It wasn’t a strange request for them because it wasn’t the first time they slept together. On the contrary, it had happened several times when they felt when they felt lonely or just wanted to strengthens the bonds that united them. The spirit of pack pushed them to this behavior in search of contact and comfort. Plus, physical contact or presence of another person were good ways to dispel the anxieties which sometimes came to disturb them.
He felt Yoongi nodding against the fabric of his pajamas. The smallest pulled away from the hug and laid down on the large bed of Namjoon who also took place under the big blankets. Both were in one corner of the bed. Yoongi had already curled up on himself, while he had just stared at him as he thought about what the older man had previously told him. Yoongi had to carry this secret with him for several months while seeing his body transform to better adapt his new status. Namjoon couldn’t imagine how hard it had been for him to accept this alone.
Then suddenly, he saw Yoongi turn towards him and move his hand toward his to intertwine their fingers. It was a gesture Yoongi used to do to feel better. Namjoon let his full lips stretch into a soft smile, which Yoongi returned him before whispering in his ear.
" Thank you. "
Namjoon's smile widened, then with his strong arms, he pulled Yoongi back against his chest. His hands cleared Yoongi's forehead hidden by his hair and kissed it. He could see Yoongi's cheeks turn rosy as he put his hands in front of his blushing face. Namjoon let out a small laugh while taking off a little from him so he could have some space. Namjoon's short but contagious laugh also took over Yoongi, who flicked him in the biceps for somehow making fun of him.
Sleep won them both a few minutes later, their hands still firmly intertwined.