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Language:
English
Series:
Part 3 of Tales from the Sunset Zone
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Published:
2010-12-09
Words:
1,928
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
10
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1
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628

Morning Report

Summary:

Regina and Liquidator wake up to find out that their wet 'n' wild night has been recorded! Quackerjack and Megavolt don't help the situation at all...or do they?

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

When Regina awoke, she found that Liquidator was already up and watering some of the plants, pressing his hands against the soil.
“Ah, the lady awakes!” He turned to her with his trademark grin.
“I trust you're well hydrated and rested?” Regina sat up against a tree and stretched.
“You always satisfy your favorite customer,” She said with a yawn.
“You've never disappointed the salesman, either,” Liquidator grinned. Regina heard her plants chitter at his comment. Liquidator scooped Regina off the ground and pressed his nose against her cheek, giving her a gentle nuzzle, then placing her on the ground.
“I took the liberty of giving Abbey and Aggie their breakfast for you; there was no need to wake my favorite partner-in-crime.” Liquidator said as Regina wrapped her arms around him and dipped her foot into his leg.
“Ah, not too long now, you know very well that there is such a thing as too much water.” Liquidator waggled his finger, but allowed her to cuddle against his chest for the moment. After a moment, Regina stepped away, looking up at him with a smile, and switched the radio on.

“News time.”
The reporter came on, making a report on the latest government scandal. “Oh, those politicians!” Liquidator shook his head as Regina picked up her hedge clippers, hearing a bush complain that its leaves where uneven.
“Three out of five civilians agree that politics are getting out of hand!” He said, placing his hands against the soil of some petunias.
“What about the other two?” Regina asked, teasing.
“One's a child and the other's an idiot.” Liquidator turned his head with a dastardly grin. Regina giggled as she snipped off the extra leaves.
“There, is that better?” She asked the bush.
“You know I'm not a landscaper!” Her expression turned from teasing to confused.
“Why a winged giraffe?” Her confused tone made Liquidator burst with laughter.

They went on in very short silence, only to be interrupted.
“...In breaking news, fluid romance is in full bloom for supervillains Regina Bushroot and the Liquidator!”
Regina gave a shriek and dropped the hedge trimmers. Liquidator tilted his head.
“My, my!” He quipped, gliding over to the radio.
“Anonymous sources caught the love-bitten villains on tape inside Regina Bushroot's greenhouse, partaking in what should be called the raunchiest hydroponic gardening known to man!” Regina spun around.
“ABBEY!!!” She shrieked. Her pitcher plant came dashing around the corner, hearing her mistress' urgency.
“Did anyone come in through the door?” She asked, pointing. Abbey made a shrugging motion with a little babble.
“Ugh...don't tell me you weren't paying attention!” She groaned. Abbey whined.
“What about the rest of you!?” She looked around at the rest of the plants.
“Why didn't you just say 'someone's recording you!?!” She demanded.

Liquidator leaned against a tree, looking as embarrassed as Regina was furious.
“Because of the astonishingly explicit content, only a few seconds of the pillow talk was shown on live television.” Regina gave another shout at this.
“That's the best part!” She groaned, nearly collapsing, as several bushes gathered to catch her. Abbey, who was listening to the news, retreated under a table with a whine, seeing her mistress' humiliation. “Now the whole city and probably half of Duckberg knows about it!” She groaned.
“Not to mention, “plant watering” will never be the same!” She wiped her forehead. They listened to the report go on, until he changed subjects, at which point, Liquidator turned off the radio.

“I just hope Quackerjack and Megavolt haven't found--” The door suddenly burst open, and they could hear the jingling of the bell's on Quackerjack's hat and shoes.
“Hiya, lovebirds!” Quackerjack boomed. Regina turned and saw her comrade bounding over to them on a pogostick, with Megavolt close behind. Abbey, seeing the rat, came out of hiding and dashed to him, hoping that he had brought her pup, who he had named Wattzon with him. The young pitcher plant came bounding through the door, yapping gaily to the elder. The scene was a temporary distraction for Regina, who chuckled lightly as the dog-plants rough-housed.

“We heard the news!” Quackerjack chortled, interrupting her.
“I KNEW you two had something going on!” He giggled.
“And to be caught on tape of all things! Who'd sneak into your Greenhouse and film you?” Megavolt shook his finger, which slowed as his expression dazed. “Uh, what were we talking about again?” He asked.
“Liqui's been Bushy's personal watering can when no one's looking!” Quackerjack snapped to Megavolt.
“Oh yeah! Boy, that's a weird fetish if I've ever heard one!” Megavolt snapped his fingers. Regina huffed and crossed her arms.
“It's bad enough that the whole public knows about this! Darkwing Duck probably knows, then our reputation will be staked for good!” She grumbled.
“Oooh, but Darkwing Duck's out of town battling F.O.W.L in Timbuktu!” Quackerjack beamed.
“No really, she's in Timbuktu!” His bouncing became faster.
“Stop that, you're giving me a headache!” Regina hissed to Quackerjack. He pouted and jumped off his Pogostick, which landed on the ground.
“Oh, you fuddy-duddy!” He grumbled.

“Anyway, on our way, we heard lots of people talking about it!” Quackerjack said, picking up where he had left.
“Let me guess, they don't take us seriously anymore?” Regina asked.
“Actually, some are a bit more scared.” Megavolt piped.
“They say that a villainous pair is more dangerous than a single villain because they're more powerful together!” He grinned.
“Really?” Regina tilted her head.
“Two IS better than one!” Liquidator extended his arms with a salesman pitch posture.
“But WE don't take you seriously anymore!” Quackerjack guffawed.
“So, what did you do EXACTLY? Don't tell me you drank from his 'hose', Bushy!” He rolled onto the ground cackling.
“I most certainly did NOT!” Regina lurched back with a flinch.
“Her attempts to give me a hickey were in vain, as always.” Liquidator teased, rubbing his neck as though the mark was there.
“You're not helping!” Regina snarled.
“Oh, so you like a little neck action!” Megavolt waggled his eyebrows. Regina folded her arms and grimaced. Liquidator put his hands on her shoulders, frowning at their companions.
“Now, now, that's quite enough!” He barked.
“Mutant-plant ducks everywhere agree that your barbs are going too far.”
There was a brief silence. Abbey and Wattzon dashed between and around them, chasing some bees and breaking it temporarily. Regina's Algae Monster rode atop Abbey's back, burbling as if he was making a battle cry.

“Uh...why do you two look so angry again?” Megavolt asked, a bout of forgetfulness coming over him. “Never mind,” Quackerjack waved his hand.
“Why don't we scour the city and see what rumors have spread, huh? Might make you feel better, Reggie. You know, reverse psychology!” Quackerjack grinned.
“Rumors of what?” Megavolt blinked. “I'll remind you on the way out, Sparky!”
“Don't call me Sparky!” Megavolt snapped.
“Okay, fine, go.” Regina waved her hands in a shoo-fashion.
“Just don't come back until you're sure everything's fine!” She huffed.
“Ooh, that'll be quite a while!” Quackerjack laughed, jumping away on his pogostick. Megavolt, still confused, whistled.
“Come on, Wattzon, we're going home!” Once the trio was out the door, Regina's legs gave out and she toppled backwards, to be caught by Liquidator.
“I have GOT to improve the security around here!” She groaned.
Abbey had collapsed on the ground and gave a whine as Wattzon disappeared. The Algae Monster had since left her, gurgling around the greenhouse.
“What are we going to do with those two? I feel like I'm babysitting without getting paid!” She rubbed her head.
“Four out of five doctors recommend resting when stressed.” Liquidator gently scooped her into his arms and lifted her off the ground, then settling against a tree.
“It's good for what ails you,” He nuzzled the end of her beak.

Both Liquidator and many of Regina's extremely embarrassed plants insisted that she should settle down. Though she protested, she was soon lying in her hammock listening to the classic music channel, while Liquidator went about caring for the plants. Occasionally, he cleared up any damage left by the resident Algae Monster destroying the model city he played in. Suddenly, the relaxing music phased out and Quackerjack's voice came on.
“Hello? Hello-o-o-o, is this playing? Is it playing, Megsy?”
Regina sat up, aghast.
“What is that son of a broccoli doing?”

“Hello, this is Quackerjack, your favorite former toy maker gone mad speaking!” Quackerjack cackled over the radio.
“My buddy Megavolt and I have one teeny-tiny simple favor of everyone in St. Canard.” Regina leaned upward, wondering what was going on.
“We want that little video of Liquidator and Bushroot's little wet-and-wild plant watering fun time brought to Megavolt's Lighthouse three days...or the Radio station gets it!” A long beep went off; Quackerjack had turned off the station.
“Would he really do that?” Regina asked after a pause. Liquidator shrugged.
“Sources recall that he did brutally murder his rival.” He said. Regina grimaced.
“I hope this ends well.”

The next two hours went on as usual as it could get. Regina had been allowed to participate in the rounds for the Greenhouse's upkeep. Apart from occasional interruptions from Abbey and the Algae Monster, they continued their usual business in caring for the plants. They lost track of the time, and soon enough, there was a knock on the door.
“Oh, Reggie! Liqui!” Quackerjack called. Regina, who had been praising Liquidator for removing a pesky calcium buildup on the sprinkler system, rushed to the door and opened it. Quackerjack and Megavolt stood before her, holding the tape they had ransomed. “Boy did this thing come fast!”

“You didn't watch this, did you?” Regina asked after looking at the tape for a moment.
“Nope! You have our word!” Quackerjack said with one had behind his back.
“Are your fingers crossed!?” Regina asked, bended herself to look behind the toy-maker's back.
“No-o-o, we didn't!” Quackerjack pouted.
“Your hand is behind your back!” Regina spat.
“I kinda forgot what was on it...” Megavolt muttered.
“Ah-HA!” Regina pointed at Megavolt.
“There you go, you insolent liar!” She shot a look at Quackerjack.
“Okay, okay, so we watched a little bit, but we got freaked out once the whirlpool-thingy came up! Sheesh, you guys made my water pistols look tame!” Quackerjack backed up.
“That's because your 'water' pistols shoot acid!” Liquidator scowled.
“Ten out of ten annoyed supervillain items would agree that their comrades stay OUT of their privacy!” He took the tape from Regina and shook it at Megavolt and Quackerjack to clarify.

“Now, I want to find out WHO taped us.” Liquidator said.
“That's my only excuse for watching the video.” He took a glance at Regina, who gawked at him.
“What makes you say you'll know?” She asked.
“This is a case where it's a fifty-fifty guess and requires watching the full video. Besides, we might learn something about ourselves.” As he tickled her under the chin, Megavolt made a disgusted grunt.
“Let's get outta here, Quacky. I can see the mushiness coming a mile away,” He stormed out as Liquidator took Megavolt's statement as a signal, dipping Regina by the waist and placing a big kiss on her bill in front of Quackerjack and Megavolt.
“Yick, you're right, Megsy!” He followed Megavolt out the door, and closed it behind him.

Liquidator held up the tape allowed Regina to stand up.
“Shall we take a look?” He grinned. Regina gave an exasperated sigh.
“I am not looking forward to this!”

Notes:

So, a few notes

* Abbey is pretty much Regina's Spike, but she's a pitcher plant
* Wattzon is kind of like Abbey's puppy. I had a whole idea for a story where Regina comes home to find baby fly traps all over the Greenhouse, and what she does to get the situation under control. Megavolt promptly names one Wattzon, and eventually adopts him
* The Algae Monster. Originally a gag on Formsping, as a situation for the RP Regina to talk about. His origin was an experiment-gone-wrong, where Regina working on a highly unstable experiement, of which very little water should be added + Liqui standing right behind her + some Abbey's babies chasing a bee = a giant mess that takes a lot of barley wheat.

I'm not sure if I'll make a small series out of this, but something is egging me to...

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