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Keith knows Lance loves him. After 2 years of dating and having Lance's attention and affection on him, he knew Lance loved him.
It's just that Keith knew Lance loved Allura more.
If there's one thing Keith learned in his 25 years on this earth, is that everyone has a choice.They may be coerced or pressured yes but ultimately it's their choice.
Which is why he thinks no one should take away anyone's choice. Whether it may be detrimental to them in the long run or for the greater good. Everyone has choices and free will for a reason.
The thing is Keith knew that without a doubt Allura would be Lances first choice.
He just held onto a tiny sliver of hope that maybe after 2 years of being together he would have cemented his place in Lances heart.
Last night just proved it..
See it was their two year anniversary and after confirming with Lance multiple times they agreed to have dinner at a fancy restaurant.
Keith excitedly made reservations and when they got home...well Keith would do that thing with his tongue Lance liked.
All in all Keith was thrumming with excitement and brimming with nervous energy.
They hadn't been able to spend much time with each other due to Lance having to split his time between work, school, friends and Keith. And Keith understood.
But Keith also missed Lance.
And he was so looking forward to spending quality time with Lance.
Keith was excited...until he was waiting an hour for Lance to show up.
Then he got nervous.
As the one hour turned to 2 then 3, Keith went from anxious to worried to upset.
After numerous pity looks from waiters and other couples Keith threw down a couple of bills and hauled ass out of there.
Opening the door, he saw Lance snoring on the couch, clothes rumpled and smelling of alcohol.
Keith swallowed down tears and wearily made his way to their bedroom.
He's overreacting.
Obviously, Lance is just too tired from work and..
And...
And Keith fell asleep that night with damp cheeks and a damper pillow.
When Keith woke up the next morning, he saw Lance had already left to God knows where.
In the begining of their relationship Lance always left cute little notes letting Keith know where he was. And now..nothing.
Keith folded his arms around himself.
It's like Keith was watching the titanic and hoping the ship didn't sink.
Spoiler alert. The ship sunk. And people died.
Keith's phone beeped and he reached over to read the text.
Hey, you coming over? Allura is having a small party tonight.
Though Keith wasn't particularly in the mood, he responded to pidge that yes, he would be going.
If only because Lance was sure to be there.
God, he missed Lance.
He had noticed Lance withdrawing from him and becoming distant. At first he assumed it was work or school but that thought was quickly shot down when he realized that Lance would have talked to him about whatever was bothering him.
Which made this distance all the more worrying.
It's been happening for the past few months. The random disappearances.
The late nights at work.
The lack of phone calls.
Lance even forgot Keith's birthday. Of course he apologized and was forgiven but it doesn't changed the fact that he forgot and abandoned Keith because Allura wanted to go shopping.
And as always, Allura came first. She had number one priority over everything in Lances life. Including his heart.
Keith shook his head and marched to the closet to look for appropriate clothes.
Lance obviously loves Keith and Keith loved Lance so much his heart hurt.
He put on his black skinny jeans and the red shirt that Lance loved on him. Keith smiled a little as he made his way to Allura's house.
Walking in, Keith wrinkled his nose a bit. It was decidedly not a small party as Pidge had said.
It is a loud, obnoxious, red plastic cup affair.
Humming to himself, Keith spotted and headed over to Pidge.
"This is not a small party"
Pidge jumped a little before turning to Keith. She eyed him up and down before smirking a little.
"Looking good for loverboy Lance."
Keith blushes at the implication.
"Its.. it was our 2 year anniversary yesterday."
"Ooooh. You guys must have done something real special last night yeah." Pidge wiggles her eyebrows.
Curling in on himself, Keith feels his shoulders sag a bit.
"No..um..we had reservations but..you know lance is so busy with work..he.. he was passed out when I got home"
Pidge frowns a bit and purses her lips.
"No..Lance wasn't working yesterday. He spent the day with us. We went to the bar after the mall and he left pretty late with Allura."
Keith cringes..and his heart stutters.
"I'm sure he..he.."
Before anymore useless words could come out of his mouth, Keith turns around and darts for the stairs.
Keith opens a door hoping to find a bathroom and freezes.
Keiths heart withers in his chest.
Lance and Allura were furiously making out with each other.
And god. God.
They looked so fucking perfect together.
"Keith! Wait-"
Pidge barreled into Keith and stutters to a halt, gaping at the scene in front of her.
Keith withdraws into himself like a threatened turtle, his shoulders hunched over in a futile attempt at protection against what he's eyes are witnessing.
Lance and Allura startles out of their little bubble and the resulting smack of their lips pulling apart echoes in the room.
Keith looks over at Lance. Sad violet eyes meeting regretful blue.
He takes a deep breath and smiles.
The way you smile when you have just finished crying.
"It's okay, Lance. I get it."
And he walks away.
Away from the party. Away from the shouts pidge is spewing at Lance. Away from the beautiful goddess lance was in love with.
Away from the man he's loved for as long as he could remember.
And as he walks the tears begin to fall.
But really he knew. All along.
He knew this was bound to happen.
No one ever loved him enough to stay.
Not his parents. Not his foster parents. Not any of the friends who claimed to love him.
And of course he would lose the one person he was in love with.
He understands that someone as amazing and beautiful as Lance belongs with someone as graceful and stunning as Allura.
Honestly, and he knows it hates it and accepts it.
He walked all the way to his brothers house and when the door opens, when Shiro drags him into his arms, he sobs.
He cried when Shiro makes him hot chocolate.
He cried as he curls up in Shiro's couch.
He cries.
Have you ever just cried? Like the thin trails of tears flow silently and slowly down your cheeks and youre laying on your back so the moisture pools uncomfortable at your ears. And you think that maybe you should probably wipe them away but at that point you just ..you really just don't care? So you lay there with this unsettling weird wet sensation and you're wondering why you're crying when there's honestly no logical or plausible reason to.
He expected this. Come on, Allura was an actual princess and graceful and she had a list of things that made her amazing.
And Keith..well Keith didn't. He was angry and emo and stewed in self loathing and marinated in pity before allowing anyone to come close enough to even attempt to comfort him.
Allura was perfect. And Keith... he was about as imperfect as you could get.
When Keith woke up the next morning it was to crusted eyes and a note from Shiro telling to eat breakfast and that he'd be back from work at 3.
Not bothering to change out of shiros shirt and sweatpants Keith made hes way to the kitchen.
His coffee is just about finished brewing when he hears a knock on the door.
Confused, Keith drags his feet to the front door.
Lance.
Lances eyes are wide and bloodshot as they peer into Keith's violet ones.
"Keith! I'm so sorry you have to believe me
..i never meant for it to go that far. I promise. And..h-here. I brought....these."
Keith glances down at the roses in Lances outstretched hand before glancing back up.
"You can buy me all the goddamn flowers you want. I've seen flowers die."
Lance flutters his hands helplessly.
"Keith...i just...i need you to come back."
"Because you like me or because you knew I wouldn't say no."
Lance gapes at him and Keith snaps.
"You know what? No! You do not get to come back here after kissing another woman and...and It's not even just that!"
Keith folds his arms around himself as he whimpers out..."I know."
"I've always known you would leave me someday. But just because I prepared for it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. God, I loved you lance. I would have done anything for you. I knew I couldn't keep you but I wanted to...god I wanted to. I was selfish. I wanted you all to myself. And how could I not? You're so amazing. I never thought...i never thought i would ever have a chance with you. But you bought me roses our first date and you won me a hippo at the fair and held me when I cried. And how did you expect me not to fall for you?"
Keith curls in on himself and whimpers out "I hoped thought you could love me even half as much as I love you...even when I knew it was impossible. I just
...I I L-Loved you."
Keiths voice cracks as he tries to stop himself from crying.
Lance looks on in shock with tears falling down his cheeks as he listens to Keith.
"And for a while I though you were. We were happy. And them you forgot my birthday. And started coming home late. And i waited three hours for you on our anniversary and I never felt so abandoned in my life."
Ugly tears rolled down Keith's face and he sniffled harshly.
Breathing in, he looked at Lance.
"But..its okay. I knew this would happen.
My parents never wanted me...why would someone as perfect as you want someone like me? You deserve someone as amazing as Allura and I don't blame you for wanting to be with her."
Lance shook his head violently and raised his hands before jerking himself back.
"No! No no Keith! That's not it at all! I
...i can't even tell you...how. where do I even begin?"
Lances buffs out a frustrated breath and shoves his hand through his hair.
"Keith. Out of everything you said. There's one thing that is absolutely not true. I dont deserve Allura I don't want Allura. The lines may have been blurred a while but...but you deserve better. Keith, you deserve everything."
Lance hesitantly reaches out and gently tips Keith's chin upward. Staring into his eyes, Lance continues.
"And there's one thing you are absolutely right about. I love you."
Keith shakes his head and tries to pull away but lance tightens his hold on Keith's arm.
"No no babe listen. I love you. I love you so much my heart feels full. And I will spend the rest of my life proving it to you. Please let me explain."
Lance begs, "Please give me a chance to fix this."
Lance holds his breath waiting for Keith's reply.
Keith doesn't think that Lance knew...that some things..just can't be fixed.