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Obi-wan woke up sweating and panting. No one in the crèche noticed him as he looked around. Everyone was still asleep. None had experienced the terrible nightmare that sent his heart racing and his blood boiling.
There had been a man. One he didn’t know. Yet he cared about him fiercely. He felt a deep and intense connection to him as he watched him fall, impaled on red light. He stood trapped and helpless while a red-faced, horned monster killed the man he loved. And amidst the terror he felt, there was an overwhelming sense of loneliness, guilt, and sadness. They felt foreign and powerful, completely out of his control.
Heedless of the dangers, he climbed out of his bed and made for the temple halls. He didn’t care about being caught, he just had to run.
Without realizing it, he wound up in the temple gardens. There was a tall stone bench in the corner. Taking a deep breath, he ducked under it, pulled his knees to his chest, and tried not to cry.
Qui-gon Jinn was used to nightmares. He was accustomed to waking up at odd hours, shaken and mortified. He almost expected the feelings of grief and guilt as he relived losing his padawans to the dark side. And the deep loneliness that tore at his heart was his penance, his burden to bare for the rest of his life.
However, this time he had not seen the past. In fact he had no dream at all. A disturbance in the force had woken him, called him to its source. And woven into this pull were chaotic feelings of confusion, fear, and despair. At a loss of an explanation he decided to trust the force and follow the urge.
It led him to the gardens. In the far corner, curled up under a bench was a youngling. Qui-gon had never seen him before and yet knew his name was Obi-wan Kenobi. He was the source of the disturbance.
Almost as if he had been waiting for him, the boy crawled out from his hiding place and ran towards him. Qui-gon couldn’t explain why, but he opened his arms and embraced him tightly, lifting him off the ground. Immediately he felt a surge of energy, as if the force was surrounding them and bathing them in its light. He realized the emotions that had woken him belonged to Obi-wan.
“Why are you afraid young one?” he asked, still cradling him to his chest.
Obi-wan was silent for a few moments, drying his tears.
“You fell. And I couldn’t stop him. I couldn’t stop him! You wouldn’t let me. So you fell! He killed you Qui-gon and I couldn’t stop it!”
Qui-gon felt uneasy at his words. There was a strange weight to them, a foreboding truth. And it seemed the boy also felt the knowledge and connection that was not his own.
“Calm yourself Obi-wan,” and responding to his name, the boy relaxed, as if by uttering it Qui-gon was acknowledging something, and that alone brought peace to him. “I must seek council with Master Yoda in the morning. I will return you to your crèche and come see you tomorrow.”
This upset the boy greatly, though he did not show it outwardly. Qui-gon was engulfed in a tidal wave of crippling despair that did not match the humble “Yes sir,” the boy muttered. He knew these feeling were from the boy, but they also seemed to be coming from himself as well. They were overwhelming and clouded his judgment in a dangerous way. He could not stand by them, could not allow them to block and degrade his connection to the force.
He understood none of what was happening. He only knew that the force had brought him to Obi-wan and the thought of any distance from him interfered with that connection in a powerful way. Yoda and the Council would be awake in a few hours. They would have answers.
Gliding through the temple’s halls at night was often a tranquil experience. The gentle hum of the Force’s ever-presence lingered, unhindered by numerous creatures walking to and fro throughout the day. Qui-gon often basked in the solitude of night when he was woken by nightmares. Half way back to his quarters he felt Obi-wan fall asleep in his arms, and he knew that if he let it, that simple act of trust could ease his sleep as well.
But he wouldn’t allow it. He couldn’t let this strange turbulence make him forget what he was capable of; what he’d done, what he’d lost. So he laid the boy on his bed and walked onto the balcony, ready to meditate until morning. He would simply have to bring him with him to the meeting.
Meditation was a Jedi’s greatest resource. Trained from the very beginning to let go and concentrate on the living force, it was a tool all ages used. Members of the council often teased Qui-gon that he spent more hours meditating than he did listening to them, and that if he sought more balance between the two he would be arguing with them less.
He imagined a galaxy. Not any from the star charts he had seen, but one he knew intimately none the less. He brought awareness to each pin point of light, keeping away from the areas of darkness he often pondered while meditating. Tonight he sought out the certainty of the good he could feel. The more he concentrated on them the clearer the feelings became. He sensed a radiant warmth, just and wise beyond anything he currently was. And there was an openness to possibilities that he had long abandoned to his youth. These and many other images and feelings calmed him and awakened in him a new sense of curiosity he hadn’t felt for a long time.
Realizing it was close to morning, Qui-gon mentally backed away from the galaxy, shifting his awareness from within himself to his surroundings. He opened his eyes and found himself looking into the eyes of the youngling, who appeared to have also been meditating.
Obi-wan smiled and it was so calm and warm that Qui-gon put aside the admonition he’d intended. Instead he smirked ruefully at him.
“How long have you been there young one?”
“About an hour I think.”
His mannerism was sheepish, but backed by a strange appearance of assurance, as if he knew that Qui-gon wouldn’t be truly mad at him, even if he tried to be. He felt that calm surety seep into him, and the reminder of how easily he was affected by this boy bolstered him into action.
“Come, we must see the Council.”
It had been a feeling, a sudden urge that woke him up this time. He wasn’t afraid, and he wasn’t alone. He sat up in a big fluffy bed, very different but much better than his usual one. The room was dark and quiet, but not scary. If felt safe. And the source of that safety was coming from the balcony he saw at the end of the room. Qui-gon Jinn sat there, deep in mediation, like the crèche masters did. He too enjoyed meditating, though only for short periods.
He walked out next to Qui-gon, sensing courage and power. He felt familiar, as if he’d known him his whole life. This feeling was so strong that he trusted it completely. He just had never known he knew him until now.
He also knew that Qui-gon was suffering, and that this suffering would make him push him away. Like the time he fell off a suspended platform and broke his wrist. The Masters’ initial attempt to reach him was halted by an accidental force push that Obi-wan had no control of. Only when they spoke calmly, telling him that they were going to help him, that he relaxed. He knew that he would have to remain calm and relaxed, so Qui-gon wouldn’t push him away by accident.
When he’d seen him for the first time in real life, he felt an immediate wave of relief. He ran to him just as he ran from the dream. He was solid and real in the same way the dream had been blurry and distant. He smelled like change and the force felt happier while he was in his arms. When he was being carried through the halls, the force whispered to him, and he fell asleep. The Masters of the Crèche were always teaching them ways to hear the force better, and how as they got older the force would be a constant companion. For him that must be Qui-gon, because he could hear the force so clearly when he was next to him. He was very happy when he was with him, and vowed to do his best to please the force so he could stay there.
So when he saw him meditating, he joined him. Obi-wan saw pools of light and color when he meditated. The harder he focused on one the clearer it became. The force was calling him towards a blue/grey pool that shifted from radiant to shadowed rapidly and seamlessly. He’d never focused on an energy like it before. He felt he could spend hours there. But something was pulling his attention away again, so he opened his eyes and smiled.
He’d never been before the entire Council before. Qui-gon had carried him there the same way he had last night, and few people noticed, but some did. Most looked to be Knights and didn’t say anything. But he did notice glances of shock or confusion. So when they arrived outside of the Council chambers and Qui-gon put him back down on the ground he asked:
“Am I in trouble Qui-gon?”
Qui-gon shook his head. “No, you are not in trouble. But you must follow my lead Obi-wan. Only speak when spoken to. And call me Master, just as you would the council members.”
“Are you a Master, Qui-gon?” Obi-wan felt a twinge of regret coming from him, and wondered why.
“Yes, I am a Master. Now come, we will have answers.”
The Council had been informed of Qui-gon’s request just before they left, so some of the members were still arriving. He often did this on purpose just to be contrary. As if calling a full meeting seemingly out of nowhere, first thing in the morning wasn’t enough. At the very least, Mace would be grouchy. Pestering his old friend was one of the few pleasures Qui-gon let himself enjoy.
In fact, Mace looked quite grumpy as Qui-gon entered the chamber. But his irritated look was replaced immediately by curiosity upon seeing the boy. Everyone looked slightly surprised. It was unusual for him to be seen with any other Jedi, especially a youngling. Even Yoda seemed intrigued.
“Master Qui-gon. Early it is. Urgent questions you have?”
“Yes Master, I do.”
“And bring with you a youngling as well. Obi-wan yes?” Yoda looked to the boy.
“Yes Master,” the boy replied.
“Come here willingly you have?”
“Yes Master.”
“Why is that, do you think?”
It irritated him that Yoda had shifted his attention to Obi-wan.
“Because of my dream Master.”
Members of the council that had been dozing off or not paying attention brought their focus to Obi-wan now.
The green gnome pondered this. “Describe this dream.”
“I was trapped. There was a monster attacking Qui—Master Qui-gon and I couldn’t save him. He was trying very hard. I tried very hard too, to get to him, but I couldn’t. And the monster killed him.”
Compared to the frantic depiction he’d seen last night, Obi-wan seemed to be in complete control, appearing at ease while he recounted his nightmare. It didn’t pass by Mace unnoticed though.
“How did you feel when you woke up?” asked Mace.
“Scared Master. And worried. It felt real.”
Obi-wan was very brave to have admitted his fear. Yoda always called him out when he was afraid, so he seldom admitted it openly. He knew the council disapproved of fear, even though Qui-gon thought a little fear was healthy.
“Feel other emotions did you?” asked Yoda. Qui-gon had an inkling Yoda suspected something already.
“Yes Mater. Sadness and guilt. And lonely.”
“Why did the dream make you feel lonely?” asked Mace.
“It didn’t. The force told me that Master Qui-gon was.”
All eyes turned back to him. It was uncomfortable and he felt annoyance at the boy for being so open and honest.
“Did you also have a dream, Qui-gon?” asked Mace, more serious now.
“No. I felt a disturbance in the force, and was guided to Obi-wan.” He paused, and decided that withholding any details would likely bite him back in the end, being in the presence of honest Obi-wan. “I went to him and I too felt the terror and despair he was experiencing.”
Yoda nodded, as if expecting his response. “What then did you do?”
Qui-gon sighed. “I tried to take him back to his Crèche and found I was…unable to do so.”
Mace looked incredulous. “Unable?”
“The feelings became unbearable, almost having a will of their own. And it didn’t seem right. The force had led me to him and clearly didn’t want me to leave him. So I brought him to my quarters until I could call this meeting.”
Yoda turned back to Obi-wan. “How do you feel when around Master Qui-gon you are?”
“Peaceful. I can hear the force strongly. I’d like to stay with him Master.”
He looked at him in shock. Out right making a request in this manner was bold and rude. Mace looked shocked too, as did many of the others. But Yoda seemed resigned. Qui-gon was filled with uncertainty and confusion, as if a void had opened up beneath him, threatening to throw him off balance and swallow him whole.
Yoda was still staring at Obi-wan, and he knew that they were speaking telepathically. Then Obi-wan turned and looked up at him, holding his gaze. He felt like he was standing on a precipice, and the only thing holding him upright was that gaze. Then Obi-wan grasped his hand and he once again felt grounded, the force washing through them. He doubted the intensity of it didn’t pass through the council as well.
Somehow he knew that whatever Yoda said next would be unsettling, transcendent, and final. And there was little he could do about it.
“Soul bound, you both are.”
When they entered the council chambers and Obi-wan saw some of them half asleep, he felt less nervous. Yoda was there, and he had many lessons with him. He liked the little green Master. He was funny and treated them all as equals. The man sitting to Yoda’s right, the one with the curious look on his face, as if he were mentally picking Obi-wan apart, made him nervous.
After he told them about Qui-gon’s feelings, he heard Yoda speaking to him inside his head.
No dream you had. A vision this was. Saw the future you did.
Qui-gon is going to die Master? He tried to think this calmly, but it was very difficult. If this very wise and important master said his dream was real, then there was no hope.
Always hope there is, Obi-wan. Change, the future does. Especially when aware of it we become. Nothing happens by accident. Listen to the force. Guide you well it will.
Again he felt certain he was meant to be with Qui-gon. Everything, even Yoda, was telling him to listen to the force. His path suddenly became clear. Qui-gon needed him. And he needed him calm and brave, for he felt the uneasiness and chaos radiating off him.
Yoda turned towards him again and addressed him out loud this time. “How do you feel when around Master Qui-gon?”
“Peaceful. I can hear the force strongly. I’d like to stay with him Master.”
He felt the chaos get stronger, become too much for Qui-gon. Then he heard Yoda in his head again.
To be with him always is your choice?
Yes Master.
Sure of this you are?
Very sure.
Not easy will it be.
I know master. The force will help me.
He looked up at Qui-gon again, determined to prove himself now. He looked so desperate, and Obi-wan knew in his heart that he was needed, that he could save him. As long as they were together, he could save him. He reached out and grasped his hand, feeling the force sealing his promise.
Agree with you I do. May the force be with you Obi-wan.
The council members looked a mixture of confused, shocked, and outraged.
“A Soul Bond? That is a myth,” one said.
“What proof is there?”
“This is ridiculous. He is always getting special treatment. This needs to stop.”
Amidst the chaos and chattering, only Mace and Yoda were silent and serene. Mace was staring straight though him, boring holes into his very soul. Mace had been his friend longer than he hadn’t been his friend. He was there when he took his trials, when he became a master, when he lost his padawans. He didn’t like that silent judgment.
Credit for your thoughts.
Always doing the impossible. How in the force do you manage that?
Qui-gon smirked. I have no idea my friend. Trouble seems to follow me.
Qui-gon felt Obi-wan step forward, towards Yoda and Mace, pulling him by the hand.
“What is a Soul Bond Master?”
Again Qui-gon felt irritation at Obi-wan’s boldness and blatant disregard of his instructions to only speak when spoken to.
He’s a lot like you, Mace threw at him.
At least I wasn’t that obstinate when I was his age.
Not how I remember it. He will be a joy to teach. Mace smirked this time.
Qui-gon squared his shoulders. I am not training him. I will not take a padawan again.
Tell that to the force.
“A Soul Bond is a connection to the force. A strong one. It has only been seen once in recorded Jedi history. In truth we don’t know very much about it,” Mace said out loud.
“Yes, strong with the force you both are. Not surprised I am,” though looking around the room everyone else was surprised at his words. “Felt this coming I have,” Yoda looked first at Obi-wan, and then strait into Qui-gon. “A great gift this is.”
Qui-gon wanted to strangle the little creature. Gift? He didn’t want this. Then Obi-wan looked up at him again, calm and serene, almost radiating contentment. He felt that peace wash over him and then realized the boy was using the force to transfer emotions onto him! He shouldn’t be able to do that yet, and he had no right!
Bound to him you are. Every right he has. He is all that you are. Not separate, but together. Your feelings are his. Distressed you are, so distressed he is as well. Wise he is to let go and be at peace.
Mace stared at him again. You deserve this Qui-gon.
No I don’t. I deserve trials and suffering maybe, but not this. Not this boy.
Oh, I think they will be one in the same. A visible chuckle that time.
“Demonstrated his worth to be trained, Obi-wan has. Your padawan he will be,” Yoda said to Qui-gon, in the firm, unbending tone he often used as head of the Council.
Before he could protest, Qui-gon felt a bright flash of joy from Obi-wan, and when he looked down at the boy and saw the faith, hope, and trust radiating from that smile, he knew it was pointless. It seemed that everything he had feared, pushed away, and dreaded, was handed to him in this awe-inspiring being. He really had no choice.
Obi-wan was so happy he felt like skipping down the halls. He was the first in his crèche to find a master and he felt very proud of himself. His friends were quite amazed. As he packed his things his Master spoke with his Crèche masters outside the door. He could sense Qui-gon’s reluctance to accept the situation, but he wouldn’t let that bother him. He was a padawan now! The youngest one of his species in over a century! And better yet, he would spend most of his days with Qui-gon. They really would be together.
On the walk back to what was now going to be his home, Obi-wan grabbed Qui-gon’s hand again, having realized that the touch calmed him. Qui-gon sighed and looked down at him with a funny expression.
“You do that on purpose, don’t you?” he asked.
“Do what master?”
They were back at his quarters now, and he gestured to Obi-wan to sit down on the small couch against the far wall. When he was seated Qui-gon crouched down in front of him, so they were eye level.
“Why do you want to be my padawan?”
Obi-wan was confused. “Because the force tells me it’s right.” What other reason could there be?
Qui-gon seemed to consider this. “What is it telling you now?”
“To be patient with you.”
Qui-gon suddenly looked like he’d been hit in the face with a jet of water. He looked very funny and Obi-wan giggled.
Shaking his head, Qui-gon also laughed. “Well it looks like I’ll have to stay on my toes with you, young one. Being my padawan won’t be easy. I am one of the order’s top negotiators, and so I go on a lot of missions. Frequent travel is not easy, and you will be required to do much your age-mates won’t be doing for several years. I’m also not very liked among the order, and some might look down on you simply for being my padawan.”
“I understand Master. I know I will be a great Jedi someday."
And surprisingly he felt Qui-gon accept this belief as true.
Obi-wan was turning out to be quite the surprise. Maybe Mace was right when he said he deserved him. No one except Mace had matched his wit in a long time. Floundering for the right words, he tried to explain the difficulties Obi-wan would face being bound to him. The boy seemed unfazed, unshaken and genuinely excited.
“What about the Soul Bond master?”
Yes, what about the Soul Bond. In this matter he was essentially alone. There was little in the form of text on Soul Bonds. It was indeed more myth than fact. He would have to use his knowledge of other bonds to guide him.
He sat next to the boy and felt his mind shift into teacher mode. It had been a long time, and it felt bittersweet. “There are many kinds of bonds in the universe. A Jedi shares a bond with the force, and a Master shares a training bond with an apprentice. Some world leaders bond themselves to their land or their people. There are forced bonds and bonds of choice. A bond implies sharing, and often attachment. Some bonds are ones of servitude, trust, or love.”
“What kind is ours?”
Qui-gon wasn’t sure on all the details, and since it seemed there was no hiding anything from him, he was honest. “I don’t know exactly. This bond is unique to us, so we must trust the force. We can meditate on it, together.”
Another wave of excitement radiated off Obi-wan, and the sheer strength behind it almost swept him away. He knew where they would start.
They spent the day working on shielding exercises. Usually the first lessons a Master/padawan pair worked on were ones of trust and communication through the newly formed training bond. But they didn’t have to worry about deepening their connection. Quite the opposite. He felt Obi-wan’s emotions as if they were his own. And while that could be useful, for now it was distracting.
By the time Obi-wan was settled in his new room, Qui-gon was exhausted. He was looking forward to getting a night’s sleep when his com unit went off. Groaning, he answered it
“Qui-gon.”
It was Mace.
“Mace.”
“We have much to discuss.”
“Can it wait ‘til tomorrow? I’m very tired.”
“Afraid not. It’s council business.”
He groaned again. “Another meeting? The boy is asleep.”
“No, just you and me,” there was a touch of humor in his voice. “Are you able to come to me or do I have to come to your chambers?”
He paused and thought about leaving. There was a tangible tug toward Obi-wan’s room as he thought of exiting his quarters.
“You better come to me.”
Mace and Qui-gon often spent nights like this, talking and laughing with tea and the view of the city around them. Attachment was forbidden in the order, but casual couplings were not. Though Mace had always just been a friend, things had progressed further a time or two. He was the only person he felt completely comfortable with.
“How much do you know about Soul Bonds?” Mace asked.
“Not much honestly. I know a fair amount about other bonds outside of those in the order though,” he had a feeling where this conversation was going.
“Including Mating Bonds?”
Qui-gon sighed. “Yes. I’m aware of bonds of love. I’m also aware of the strict non-attachment edict of the code,” he tried to reason with Mace. He wasn’t going to give in easily.
“This isn’t a simple matter of love Qui-gon. The force has plans for you two. The only known Soul Bond was between the founders of the Jedi Order. This didn’t happen by accident and it’s not to be taken lightly.”
“This is the last thing I need,” Qui-gon took another drink.
“I disagree. I think you need him very much,” alluding to the fatal vision hanging over them. Mace leaned back and said lightly, “I’ve been worried about you, old friend.”
“Must be why nothing ever gets done in the council,” Qui-gon teased.
“Well you certainly are a handful.”
He ignored that. “So. What council business do I get to ignore this time?” Trying to feign nonchalance.
“You better not ignore it. Obi-wan’s padawan ceremony will take place privately, in the council chambers tomorrow morning.”
"Privately?" A padawan ceremony was usually done with other younglings present. It was one of the few times in a Jedi’s life that celebrating themselves was permitted.
“We aren’t certain yet of the stability of your bond.”
Qui-gon could read between the lines. “You don’t want attention drawn to us.”
Mace looked thoughtful. “Tell me. Can you feel Obi-wan right now?”
He didn’t even have to try. His presence was there, surrounding him. Even with the shielding techniques. He wasn’t overwhelmed by his emotions, but if he tried even lightly, he would be.
“Well yes. But that isn’t unusual for any Master/padawan team.”
“But you don’t share a training bond.”
Qui-gon sighed. “I know none of this is normal, but do you have to keep harping on how odd this is?”
“Yes, I do Qui-gon, because I can feel your reluctance. That simply will not work in this situation. You must accept this boy. Completely. You can’t hide, hold back, or pretend. He will push your comfort zone and you have to listen to the force on this.”
He put his head in his hands. “You mean we will be lovers.”
“Yes. When the force tells you it’s the right time, you will become even more than that. Going against the force in this could have dire consequences.” Mace looked at him, held his gaze and spoke softly. “You could lose him Qui-gon,” he paused, looking away. “Or we could lose you.”
“But the code—“
“Since when do you care so much about the code? And it doesn’t apply in your situation. At all. You know this. You’ve always been different Qui-gon, and now you even have the force to back that.”
Mace looked rather shaken. While the vision did alarm him, he realized blandly that his impending premature death wasn’t as unsettling as it should be. Since when had he become suicidal?
“You sound jealous.”
Mace laughed darkly. “Of you? No, I’d rather observe from the sidelines, pushing you back into the ring when you run away.” He glanced knowingly as him.
“Is there anything else the council wants?”
“Plenty. But I think tomorrow’s ceremony will be enough for now.”
They both stood up and headed back through Qui-gon’s room, toward the front door, but stopped by the bed. Obi-wan had left his room and was curled up on Qui-gon’s side, sound asleep.
Qui-gon made of noise of frustration. Mace chuckled.
“Remember what I said Qui-gon. He will push your limits, and you have to accept that.”
Qui-gon gave up. “Alright alright. Just get out,” he lightly shoved Mace towards the door.
Alone again, he stared down at the boy. He wasn’t surprised to find him there at all. He wasn’t even annoyed. He was frustrated, with himself, that positive events were so hard to handle. He’d been punishing himself for so long that even the unconditional affection of his soul mate was trying. Even now, fast asleep, calm and peaceful waves emanated from Obi-wan. So making a decision, he climbed into bed next to him and let his presence soothe him to sleep.
Obi-wan woke up and noticed that he was, once again, alone in a bed. He hadn’t been that way all night though. He remembered hearing voices outside his room, and then they drifted away. He was having trouble sleeping, so he followed the voices into the room he had slept in peacefully before. Qui-gon sounded like he was busy, so he lay down to wait and fell asleep. A little while later he felt Qui-gon’s presence, and then his hand was grasped and he fell back asleep. He had slept very well, much better than the night he had that vision. It was probably because of Qui-gon.
Asking the force where he was, he found him on the balcony, meditating again. He really did enjoy meditating. They’d spent most of the previous day meditating and practicing shielding techniques. He understood why shields were a good thing, but he still thought sharing emotions wasn’t a bad thing. Qui-gon had told him to shield as much as possible, and he had while he moved from his room to Qui-gon’s, but he wasn’t sure how much good it would do. He still could sense him, and his emotions.
He didn’t know why Qui-gon was so cautious. Their bond didn’t feel dangerous, or unstable. It felt light and fluid, like the force, surrounding them and telling him things that he needed to know. It was telling him that he should listen to Qui-gon, to make him feel better. So he walked out onto the balcony, sat down and mirrored his posture.
“Good morning Padawan.”
“Good morning Master. Are we meditating again today?”
“We will meditate every day. Meditating is the most effective way for a Jedi to connect to the force.”
“But why do I feel the force stronger when I’m with you even if I am not meditating?”
Uncertainty hung around Qui-gon, like he didn’t know the right answer, or that he wasn’t sure if he should say it or not.
“Are you afraid of me Master?” he asked, curious.
Qui-gon opened his eyes and broke his meditation posture. “No, I’m not afraid of you Obi-wan. I…I’m more afraid of myself than you.”
He smiled. “I don’t think you’re frightening. I think you’re very safe.”
Qui-gon seemed to relax at this. “You will always be safe with me, Obi-wan. You never need to worry about that. I will protect you. A Master’s job is to protect and teach his apprentice.”
“A Padawan’s job is to keep you standing right? That’s what Master Yoda says.”
Qui-gon did that fish mouth look again. “That little green gnome should watch what he says.”
Obi-wan laughed. “Don’t worry Master, I’ll make sure you eat and sleep right. The crèche masters said we needed to learn to do that ourselves so we could do it for others. I think they meant our Masters, right?”
Qui-gon continued to stare wide eyed at him.
“Did you sleep well last night Master?”
At this question Qui-gon laid down flat against the meditation mat. “There’s no hiding from you is there.”
Obi-wan joined him. “What do you mean?”
Qui-gon reached for Obi-wan’s hand. “Yes, thanks to you, I did sleep well. The best sleep I’ve had in a long time.”
At the contact he beamed. He felt so warm and happy. But he used the shielding techniques so it wasn’t overwhelming for Qui-gon.
“Very good, Obi-wan. That makes it easier for me.”
“I’m glad Master. I want to make everything easier for you, if I can.”
Then Qui-gon surprised him. “And how can I make things easier for you Padawan?”
Obi-wan thought about it. He was not hard to please. Just being around Qui-gon made him happy. He could hear the force best when he was around him. In fact he could hear it the strongest when he was touching Qui-gon. So he rolled the short distance between them and placed his hand on Qui-gon’s chest. They were very close. “This way.”
Qui-gon wrapped him in his arms, pulling him against his chest, letting out a content sigh. “That is better isn’t it?”
He nodded. “I can feel the force strongest like this.”
“I can as well. It’s the bond. You have a very strong connection, Obi-wan.”
“You do too. Maybe that’s why we’re bonded.”
Qui-gon smiled, and Obi-wan felt his Master swell with pride. To his surprise, Qui-gon let down his shields so the feeling wrapped around Obi-wan. “You are very wise Obi-wan. I’m…very fortunate the force brought us together. I’m glad you are my Padawan.”
Obi-wan could feel how important and special those words were. He scooted closer to Qui-gon and squeezed tighter. “I’m happy you’re my Master too!”
Qui-gon chuckled at his enthusiasm. “Speaking of your Master, we better get ready. I fear I could lie here all day,” he stroked Obi-wan’s hair, stopping around his right ear. “Today is your Padawan ceremony.”
He untangled himself and sat bolt upright. He put his shields up, but he was so excited he knew Qui-gon could feel it strongly. “Today?!”
“Yes, today. In the council’s chambers,” he hesitated. “It will be a small ceremony.”
He frowned. “Did I do something wrong?”
So did Qui-gon. “No. It’s the council’s fault if anything. They’re…we’re special Obi-wan, so they will treat us differently.”
“Special bad?”
Qui-gon stood up and helped Obi-wan stand up too. He laughed in a funny way, “Actually we’re so special that we get to make up our own rules. Sometimes that means doing things in ways we don’t want to. But the life of a Jedi is that way a lot of the time. Other times, our bond will allow us to do things no other Jedi can do.”
“Even Yoda?” he said in awe.
“Yes, even Yoda. But you are still my Padawan, and must listen to me, understand?”
He stood up straighter. “Yes Master. The force tells me that makes you feel better.”
Qui-gon laughed fully this time. He liked it when he laughed.
All younglings whose species grew hair were allowed to wear it long until their padawan ceremony. Then it was cut, leaving a small amount near their right ear, before they went through the padawan rites. Qui-gon stood beside Obi-wan as his old Crèche Master trimmed his hair. It was unusual for him to be there, and the Crèche Master didn’t hide her bemusement. Obi-wan stayed very still but radiated excitement.
When Obi-wan was dressed in his new Padawan garb, they headed to the Council Chamber. He had a feeling he would be there even more often than he liked. Upon arrival he felt Mace scrutinize him, so he laid his hands on Obi-wan’s shoulders. Mace smirked.
I see you’re finally smarter than you are stubborn.
In retaliation he pulled the boy close to him, in a display only his superior position allowed him. He smirked back.
The council members looked uncomfortable, some almost furious. Yoda knocked his staff against the floor.
“Youngling Obi-wan Kenobi, a Jedi you wish to be?”
“Yes Master.”
“Master Qui-gon Jinn you wish your Master to be?”
Obi-wan nodded. “Yes Master.”
Yoda proceeded to ask Obi-wan the standard set of initiation questions. He remembered the last time he heard a Padawan ceremony. He had been prematurely proud. Xanatos showed a lot of promise, and he was looking forward to years of growth for the both of them. It ended badly.
He’d been reluctant to take on another apprentice, but she was lost and mourning her old Master. She was only a year or two away from Knighthood, and he knew her former Master, so he’d taken on another Padawan. When he lost her to the dark side too, he swore off apprentices. Every time Yoda or Mace tried to push one on him he threatened to leave the order. Even when a few younglings had tried to get close to him, he pushed them away. In the first few years people were understanding, but after a while he grew a reputation of being a cold, reckless, rebel and that the only reason the council tolerated him was his unbeaten, flawless mission history.
Yoda addressed him.
“Master Qui-gon Jinn, Obi-wan Kenobi you wish your Padawan to be?”
Such a heavy question. He could feel the anticipation in the air. Some of the council didn’t believe he could do it. Obi-wan was looking at him, full of hope and trust, the same way Xanatos had. The parallels were hard to miss.
But then he heard a new voice in his head.
We need each other.
“Yes, Master. I wish for him to be my Padawan.”
Obi-wan beamed. It was contagious and several people in the room also smiled.
The next part of the ceremony normally involved initiating the training bond.
“A strong bond already you have. Display it you may, should you chose to.”
Qui-gon glared at Mace.
You didn’t tell me we were officially pledging the bond today!
Mace shrugged.
Blame Yoda. I didn’t know.
Before he could say anything, Obi-wan tugged on his robes.
“Master, I have an idea.”
If it weren’t for the occasion, and the brilliant look on his face, Qui-gon would have been appalled at such behavior. Then Obi-wan flooded the bond with feelings of cunning and mischief.
All hesitation replaced with curiosity, he dropped to one knee in front of Obi-wan. The boy reached out confidently and gathered some of his hair in that tiny grasp.
For a moment he was speechless. Surely he wasn’t suggesting he have a Padawan braid as well?
“Will you plait my braid with your hair?”
The entire room went dead silent. Looks of pure shock were displayed, some rather comically, on every single council member’s face. Qui-gon almost lost it. Not trusting his ability to keep a straight face at the moment, he threw his arms around Obi-wan.
On Curoscant and some surrounding planets, plaiting hair with another’s was a ritual that took place during a wedding. Asking to plait one’s hair with someone’s was akin to a proposal.
In their case a wedding would never be necessary, even if they were allowed one. Their Soul Bond transcended any known bond or ritual. He knew that their Master/Padawan relationship was already compromised and Obi-wan would be treated more equally then his age and rank demanded, by both himself and others. In fact, it was quite appropriate to use his hair. The length of a Padawan’s braid often portrayed the age and experience of the individual, depending on their species. Using his longer hair in Obi-wan’s braid would send a fairly obvious signal to most that he was different. And considering the differences in their hair color, it wouldn’t be hard to connect whose hair the braid came from. It could easily be assumed as a betrothal symbol.
And since all of the things the braid would imply were essentially true, there wasn’t a more fitting display. Not only had Obi-wan thought of something practical and honest, he’d shown the council he was fully aware of his status. His request had effectively proclaimed he was as wise as Yoda and showed his boldness surpassed Qui-gon’s reputation. Even he wouldn’t have proposed to a superior in front of the entire council during the ceremony of his first official day as a Jedi.
The cunning Qui-gon had felt was replaced with smug satisfaction. Somehow, this boy had known exactly what he was doing; how it would astonish and confuse the council, how proud and amused he would be, and thus how beneficial the whole scene would be for their bond AND their future. Even his omission of titles when asking belied his equality to Qui-gon, and drawing him down to the same physical level was symbolic as well.
He laughed a few times in the security of their embrace. When he felt confident he could match Obi-wan in composure, he let go and took his hands in his own.
“I would be honored Obi-wan Kenobi.”
Obi-wan was very excited for his ceremony. He could sense Qui-gon’s disappointment at how small it would be, but it didn’t bother him. Its size made it special. And since Qui-gon was so moody, he decided he would cheer him up. He would make it special for him too.
The atmosphere of the council chamber was tense, almost angry. It was directly impacting Qui-gon, too. But when he was pulled possessively back against him, he’d figured out what to do.
Master Yoda.
He reached out telepathically.
Yes Obi-wan?
I want to show Qui-gon I want to be with him forever.
Knows of your feelings he already does.
I want everyone else to know too. It would make him happy. It will serve the force.
Grant you this I do.
Happy he would now have the opportunity to cheer Qui-gon up, he realized how anxious his Master was. Probing further he started to see flashes of a person, a Padawan, who seemed to upset his Master very much. The anxiety turned quickly into guilt and anguish. This person had hurt Qui-gon a lot then; his face was confusing Qui-gon, making him doubt himself. Doubt taking another Padawan.
“Master Qui-gon Jinn, Obi-wan Kenobi your Padawan you wish to be?”
But Obi-wan knew they would be together. The force told him so; he could hear it so easily. Qui-gon was just blinded by his feelings. Like Obi-wan had been when he had that vision. He needed to calm his Master, the same way his Master had calmed him that night.
We need each other, he told Qui-gon silently, the same way he’d down with Yoda. He felt the hesitation vanish.
“Yes Master. I wish for him to be my Padawan.”
That was much better. That was the brave Master he could feel with the force. He knew he had to be brave too. He knew it would be challenging, but he was determined.
There were several lessons every day for younglings and Padawans. Obi-wan had always been gifted, his Crèche Masters had told him. And sometimes he wanted to learn more than what was being taught. Often his clan would be taken to the temple library, and there he had permission to read files of his choice. He was particularly interested in other cultures. An interest he was told that was beneficial to a Jedi. In order to negotiate peace one had to understand different cultures’ beliefs and customs, or risk offending someone important.
But if what Qui-gon said was true, and they were so special they could make their own rules, offending the council wouldn’t get them in trouble. Yoda even gave his permission. And Qui-gon had enjoyed upsetting them at the start of the ceremony. He would make him laugh, he knew it.
“A strong bond already you have. Display it you may, should you chose to,” said Yoda out loud.
Confusion and anger rolled off of Qui-gon, the opposite of what he wanted. But he had to be brave. His attention seemed to be on Master Windu, so Obi-wan tugged lightly on his robe.
Irritation this time. He realized that his own shields were up, but Qui-gon’s were vulnerable. So he radiated his current feelings and hoped he would understand.
Pleased now with his master’s curiosity and posture, he ran his fingers through his hair. It was soft and heavier than it looked. Qui-gon looked extremely confused and knew he couldn’t wait forever.
“Will you plait my braid with your hair?”
Qui-gon’s face went from surprise to amazement. Then it twisted with sheer delight as he tried not to laugh, throwing himself on Obi-wan. He did it! His Master was laughing! Amazement, amusement, and affection caressing him now as Obi-wan grinned knowingly.
The council was shocked stupid. It took a great deal of effort not to laugh at them. He understood now why his Master made trouble for them. It was very fun and rather easy. Yoda in particular looked bemused, as if deciding something.
Qui-gon held on a little longer, tickling his neck with his breath, before grasping his hands. Looking him in the eyes, pure affection bright on his face, Qui-gon said earnestly, “I would be honored Obi-wan Kenobi.”
Wanting to throw himself on Qui-gon this time, but knowing everyone was watching him closely now, he turned to Master Windu.
“Master Windu, can you stand in for me?”
Utterly bewildered and impressed, Master Windu looked as if he would do anything Obi-wan told him to do. Looking at Qui-gon, who nodded, he turned on his saber and gently cut a thick bundle of Qui-gon’s hair. Obi-wan was happy Master Windu intentionally cut the longest hairs available. He handed them to him, the picture of respect and wonderment on his face.
“May the force bless you both.” He put his saber away and sat back down.
Looking up at Qui-gon with a gentle smile, he held out the hairs.
“Master Qui-gon Jinn, will you show everyone how important you are to me?”
Qui-gon knelt completely this time and took the bundle of hairs. Gathering the short hair from Obi-wan’s head, he weaved them together.
“With these strands I vow to protect, teach, and care for you,” he recited the traditional Master’s vow to a Padawan.
Then, weaving his own longer hairs into the shorter ones he said:
“With these strands I vow to respect, strengthen, and love you for the rest of time.”
The last part did something funny to the bond. He felt it vibrate and surge intensely. He knew it affected Qui-gon in a strong way too, transforming his feelings for Obi-wan, and his connection to the force.
Suddenly he heard Qui-gon in his head.
You are wise beyond your years. I will be with you always Obi-wan.
His braid finished, Qui-gon stood up and grasped his hand again.
Yoda harrumphed. “Padawan you now are. Officially bonded with the force irrevocably you now are. The council’s blessing you have,” the master paused, looking around the room. “Go now, before any other rules you break,” he said with humor.
Once outside the chamber, Qui-gon lifted him off the ground, swinging him in a circle.
“Force, you are brilliant!”
He giggled, enjoying their euphoria. Qui-gon looked so happy, almost carefree. The turmoil he had sensed since the beginning was gone. Just as the vision had changed Obi-wan, the bonding ceremony had changed Qui-gon.
He would make sure his vision didn’t come true. Obi-wan’s actions would mirror Qui-gon's words: He would love, strengthen, respect, care for, teach, and protect his soul mate, for the rest of time.