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1.
He's a little fucked in the head. He knows that.
2.
Stevie's first memory is of being sold. By his mother, he thinks. A woman, anyway, with brown hair and brown eyes. He was seven or eight, and she was mad and arguing with a man - tall and thin, Stevie remembers, but he looked strong, was strong - and Stevie remembers the man seemed slightly bored with the whole thing, never once raising his voice. There was some money on the table between them, and the woman's voice kept getting louder until she started banging on the table. The man still didn't get excited though. Finally the woman cursed and grabbed the money - which hadn't increased by one cent during their entire conversation - and left without looking back. The man got up and gave Stevie a glass of water, then made two phone calls before telling Stevie to follow him.
He took Stevie to a small house. There were other kids living there - some bigger, some smaller than he was. That night was the first time he got fucked, on his hands and knees, and it hurt like a son of a bitch but he didn't cry. He didn't cry any of the nights after that either, and a year later he left, leaving the tall, thin man behind him, bleeding out from a knife between his ribs.
Anyway, that's his first memory.
3.
No wait. That's wrong. He does remember something from before. Yellow eyes, in the dark. He sees them sometimes, in his dreams.
4.
It's two years after his time with the thin man when things start getting weird. His head starts hurting and his skin gets hot all over, and he starts losing time - like, he remembers standing in line for breakfast at the mission and the next thing he knows, he's waking up under the bridge. Sometimes he has blisters on his hands, sometimes on the bottoms of his feet. Life gets harder then, because he can't control what's happening to him - can't remember what's happened to him, most of the time - and so he can't protect himself the way he used to be able to. People take advantage. The sex gets rougher and more dangerous; he gets ripped off more often.
It's another three years before someone explains about the demon blood and teaches him how to focus, how to turn the heat under his skin to fire.
5.
The world explodes, disease and fire and blood and death.
6.
Most people have trouble adjusting, once the demons are in charge. Far as Stevie's concerned, rest of world's getting a taste of his usual day-to-day. Shitty food, shitty housing, shitty life, shitty future. Woo-hoo.
The demons do open up new avenues of trade though, which is a good thing because there's been a real drop in his regular sources of income. What you might call a recession in the sex industry. But demons like fucking humans and although they don't like to pay, they like to live well, and the scraps from their lifestyle are enough to get him by. He actually eats better than he did before, most of the time, and as long as he doesn't care much about exactly how they fuck him - and they can get pretty creative sometimes - they usually don't toss him out right after, so sometimes he gets a night's sleep in a decent bed.
Most people are afraid of the demons. Stevie guesses they have a point. The demons did kind of shit-can civilization and drop kick most of humanity to an early death in mass graves that still erupt sometimes in the heat. These days it's hell on earth - literally. The sky is still red, the earth is still scorched. Water is contaminated and the air is filled with sulfur. Nothing grows but pain and fear and despair. Demons, you see, like to gloat.
But thing is, see, Stevie's never seen what you might call humanity's good side, so he's not finding much difference between the people who used to use him, and the demons who do now.
Well. Not much anyway. There is that little something around the eyes.
7.
He pulls his knife the first time Dean tries to talk to him. The only reason he lets Dean get as close as he does is because he thinks Dean is a trick, looking to pay for a blowjob. He's kinda ugly with all the scars and Stevie figures he's gotta pay for it.
Only Dean looks horrified at the notion when he quotes his prices, and starts talking about "special kids" and "gifts" and someplace "safe" - which is a fucking joke if Stevie ever heard one - and he figures that whatever Dean is up to, it can't be anything good. So he goes for Dean's throat, tries to open him up neck to dick right there on the spot, only Dean is faster than he is, and he winds up on his ass. Which surprises him because he figured with the limp the guy would go down fast. Anyway, Stevie gets away, but he loses his knife, which pisses him off because it's one of his favorites, lifted from a hunter and inscribed with protection runes.
The second time Dean comes round and tries to talk to him, Stevie bites him, drawing blood. The third time, Dean mutters something about some guy named Sam owing him big time, and doesn't pull his punches. Stevie wakes up in the back of the Impala, hog-tied and gagged. He kicks the back of Dean's seat all the way back to Arizona.
8.
The first time Dean takes off the shades and he sees his eyes, he thinks they're the coolest thing ever, even if Dean is still a dick.
9.
He gets into a lot of fights at first. He's not used to being around other people all the time, and he's not used to being told what to do - although that doesn't seem to stop Dean from trying. The families Dean and Sam have collected - rescued, whatever - don't want him around their kids because he's a whore. Used to be, Dean keeps telling him, you used to be a whore, and Dean always forgets Sam doesn't like the word "whore" and Sam always whacks him when he says it. Except he only used to be a whore in Dean's head, and that doesn't count for shit among the parents.
The other stray kids, the ones like him, without parents, are a weird, mixed up group - a handful of frightened little kids given away by their parents, and some kids who are a little older. A few who did the streets, like him, but they don't seem to have the trouble he does putting it aside. They all love Sam, Dean's brother, who's apparently got magic powers like him and some of the rest of the kids do. Except, times a thousand or something. It's like he can wiggle his pinkie and levitate all the furniture in the room.
It's kind of cool, really. Not that Stevie will admit it or anything.
10.
Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis infernalis...
Shit.
Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis...omnis...
...omnis legio...
...omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica...in nomine et virtute Domini...
...Domini...
Fuck.
Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii...
11.
About a year after Dean first found him, he packs everyone up and moves them to the desert. Further into the desert, actually, because it wasn't like Sedona was some fucking wonderland of fruit and plenty. Stevie objects as loud as his voice can carry, not that anyone gives him a vote, and he tries to jump ship in Yuma. Dean tracks him down though, finds him sitting by the side of the road, mouth dry and the rest of him drenched in sweat. Dean hunkers down next to him and hands him a canteen of water, and waits quietly while he gets it inside him, making him slow down when he drinks too fast. When Stevie's finished Dean asks, "you ready?" and Stevie gets up and follows him back to the Impala. Everyone else has gone ahead, Dean says. Sam is there though, because he's always wherever Dean is, but he doesn't say anything, just holds the back door open so that Stevie can climb inside. He falls asleep and dreams all the way to Death Valley.
12.
The place Dean finds for them is smack in the middle of nowhere. A cluster of short, squat buildings, sprawling and impersonal. Before the apocalypse, it was some kind of army research facility; it's surrounded by tall fences and barbed wire. Stevie can see no-one's really excited once they see the place, but as usual Dean jollies everyone out of a bad mood, organizes teams to dig in to fix things up and file away the bleak, industrial edges of home sweet home. Stevie gets assigned to painting. He helps take down signs that say things like "Restricted Area" and "Caution: Radiation Hazard" and "Rinse Your Dishes Before You Put Them in the Dishwasher!" They paint the stark walls blue and green and a dozen other happy colors. The dorm room walls are painted an awful, fiery orange-ish red – it matches the bunk beds some other team sets up – and Stevie hates it. It reminds him too much of fire and blood, thick and bright and glossy. He can never really relax there. The color gives him nightmares, and there's already too many of those in his head already.
13.
Stevie can smell a demon at fifty paces and so when the blonde sashays in looking like she thinks she in charge, Stevie knows right away what she is. She says she wants a sit-down; Dean laughs and tells her to fuck off but Sam disagrees. They fight for two days about whether it's a good idea or not, but eventually Sam wins, and she starts coming and going when she pleases, and sometimes she brings other demons with her.
Dean never changes his mind though, and whenever she shows up Dean gets his special gun, stays close to Sam and glares.
14.
Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica, in nomine et virtute Domini Nostri Jesu + Christi...eradicare et effugare a Dei Ecclesia...Ecclesia ab...ab animabus ad imaginem Dei conditis ac pretioso...
15.
The hunters arrive one day in a big Silverado truck. The alarm goes out when the sentries spot their truck kicking up dust on the road, and someone runs to get Dean. He meets the truck at the gate with a shotgun, aimed right at the front windshield, and everyone holds their breath until the truck slows and finally stops. Dean yells for whoever's inside to get out, and two men do, although one's moving slow, his left arm bandaged to the shoulder and his left leg strapped to a makeshift splint.
They tell Dean that they're old friends of his dad's, introduce themselves as Tim Harold and Denzel Raines. They're looking for a place to get off the road, they say, until Tim's arm and leg can heal. Dean nods but he doesn't lower his gun at all and by then Sam's there with his knife, which is as big as Stevie's arm, and the four of them go off together. Nobody sees them for the rest of the day but by morning everyone knows the two men are hunters, and that Dean's given them rooms in an unused wing, and that they'll be staying awhile.
16.First time Stevie sees Denzel all he can think is big. And mean. No, not mean. Dangerous. It makes something inside him go all tight and hot.
17.
Some of the guys call him queer - although not anywhere Dean can hear them because that earns them a slap upside the head and extra duty. The word doesn't mean anything to him. Not because he doesn't understand it, because he does - he knows gay and faggot and fairy, too - but because he doesn't think it explains anything about him. He didn't take up sucking cock and taking it up the ass because he liked it. He did it because it kept him alive, because some people were willing to pay for it, and because some people - demons, mostly - were willing to let him keep living if he did. So he sucked cock and let them fuck him, and sometimes it hurt, and sometimes it felt good, but mostly he didn't feel anything, so he doesn't think where he lets men put their dicks says anything about him, or has anything to do with him being straight or queer or anything in-between. It just is.
18.
The hunters don't like the special kids like him. They avoid them, and watch them out of the corner of their eyes when they can't.
Of course, when it comes right down to it, Stevie doesn't have a whole lot of love for hunters either. Hunters didn't treat him as bad as the demons did, back in the day, but they didn't treat him a whole lot better either, and most of them were perfectly willing to use him for whatever they wanted, usually sex but sometimes just to knock around when they got pissed off, and there's more than one hunter in the world with a permanent scar from one of his knives.
Sam says the hunters have good reasons to feel the way they do about the kids like him. Sam looks funny when he says it - strange funny - and he stays away from the hunters, always lets Dean do the talking. Stevie thinks maybe the hunters feel the way they do because of Sam, because of something Sam did, maybe, in the time before the end of the world. He's just guessing though - nobody's talking. None of them get to spend much time with Sam anymore. He goes off on his own a lot these days, although nobody but Dean knows what he's doing. He's changing though - Stevie can see that. He's getting leaner, harder. Darker - not just his skin, which is brown from the sun, but Sam himself. It's just something Stevie can feel.
Stevie can see Dean worries about Sam - watches him when Sam doesn't know he's looking, always takes a moment to pull him aside when he comes back. That's the only time Sam looks like his old self, when Dean's talking to him in a low voice with one hand on his arm, and Sam's eyes get kind of soft and he smiles.
19.
There's a day when Stevie doesn't want to train - Dean's making them do hand to hand, and Stevie can beat most of the other kids anyway, seeing as he's older and bigger and cheats - so he follows Sam, trying to figure out where he goes and what he does. Sam walks for over an hour before he stops, until he's up into the bleak, stony hills, the mountains rising high in the distance. Stevie watches him as he stands on one of smaller ridges, staring out across the distance, and then he closes his eyes. Stevie feels the wind start to rise, soft at first, then growing more intense, as it whips Sam's hair around this face and flattens Stevie's loose shirt against his chest. The temperature of the air began to rise, from hot to burning to searing, and just when Stevie wonders if he's going to boil inside his own skin, Sam flings one hand out, fingers clenched, and it all stops, and the air goes so still it feels like everything's frozen. After the longest moment in Stevie's life, Sam unclenches his fist, and the air moves again and Stevie can breathe. When Sam turns he looks right at him, and Stevie feels afraid for the first time in a long time.
But then Sam shudders, lifts the edge of his shirt to wipe the sweat off his face, and makes his way down the hill and over to Stevie. He pulls a canteen off his belt and lets Stevie take the first sip, then drinks long and deep himself. His hand trembles - Stevie can feel it shake when he rests it on Stevie's shoulder and turns them both in the direction of the complex. They walk back in silence. Dean meets them right at the gate, and Stevie gets ready to be reamed in a whole new way, but Dean just sends him off to dinner, eyes on Sam. When he looks back over his shoulder, Dean has his arms around Sam, and Sam's head is resting against Dean's neck, and the wind's picked up again, hot and swirling.
20.
It takes everybody - Stevie included, he's pissed to say - a few weeks to realize Sam isn't talking anymore. There are good reasons they didn't notice right at first, sure - what with Sam's not being around much - and so if he wasn't talking, it wasn't like any of them were there to notice. But then one or two people figure it out and then the word starts getting around the camp, and finally someone just asks Dean straight out and he says yes but he doesn't say why.
21.
Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica, in nomine et virtute Domini Nostri Jesu + Christi, eradicare et effugare a Dei Ecclesia, ab animabus ad imaginem Dei conditis ac pretioso divini Agni sanguine redemptis + . Non ultra audeas, serpens callidissime, decipere humanum genus, Dei Ecclesiam persequi, ac Dei electos excutere et cribrare sicut triticum + . Imperat tibi Deus altissimus + , cui in magna tua superbia te similem haberi adhuc præsumis; qui omnes homines vult salvos fieri et ad agnitionem veritaris venire. Imperat tibi Deus Pater + ; imperat tibi Deus Filius + ; imperat tibi Deus Spiritus Sanctus + . Imperat...
Imperat...
Imperat...
Fuck, shit, fuck, fuck, fuck.
22.
The hunter doesn't want him around and he knows he's pushing his luck coming back, again and again. He can't help it though - there's something about the man that makes him want to get close, get inside his skin and curl up there. Every time he comes around, Denzel tells him to get the fuck away and stay the fuck away in that deep, dark voice of his and Stevie goes, but he can't stop himself from coming back, sniffing around again.
One night though, Denzel's different. Drinking, which slows him down a bit, sure, but when Stevie shows up his eyes light on Stevie and this time he doesn't look away. Stevie starts talking the way he always does, about anything that comes into his head but this time Denzel listens, and nods a couple of times, even laughs a bit at one of Stevie's stories, about Sam making Dean shut down the secret poker games, since some people were losing too many of their credits at the camp store, when everyone knew Dean was right there at the table at least once a week, sometimes more. Stevie takes a chance and gets closer, and then closer again, and when he finally gets down on his knees in front of him, Denzel doesn't say a word, doesn't push him away, just leans his head back with a sigh and tugs at Stevie's hair as he sucks.
That's the first night Stevie doesn't go back to the dorms.
It's quiet as he slips through the front door, stepping carefully over the thick line of salt, out of the bright sunlight and into the dim hallway. Stevie can hear music playing softly as he makes his way down the corridor and he knows it's from Tim's battered CD player because it's country, heavy on acoustic guitar and banjo. He pauses outside Tim's room and peers around the corner to see if there's any chance of sneaking by but Tim's already lifted his head, looking straight at him. That's another thing about the hunters - they move quiet, like he does, like Dean and Sam. Not like most folks, lumbering around so you can hear them from miles off.
Tim doesn't say anything, just keeps watching him. Stevie doesn't know what Tim thinks of him – personally, that is. He's pretty sure Tim dislikes him on principal, just because of who he is, what he can do with fire and heat, but he isn't sure if any of it is personal. On the other hand, Tim's never treated him bad either, so maybe that means something. "Looking for Denz?" Tim finally asks, and Stevie nods. "He's in his room," Tim says, looking back down at the hole in the sock he's patching.
Stevie waits but there's nothing else, so he nods again and goes to leave, but Tim's quiet voice stops him. "You walk easy, boy. Man's seen more trouble than a person ought to have to in a lifetime. Doesn't need you making things harder for him."
Stevie doesn't know how to tell Tim that he doesn't want to make things harder for Denzel; he wants to make them easier. And he doesn't know how to explain - even if he could bring himself to say it - how that's a weird thing for him to feel about someone else, because usually he's just trying to figure out how to protect himself, or how to hurt the other guy before they can hurt him. And how he doesn't understand everything about why he feels this way or what to call it, but that it's real and it's good and he wants it.
He doesn't know how to put any of that into words, though, so he just nods and waits for Tim to look up again to see he's heard, and give him the nod that lets him know Tim is done with him, for now, before he takes off again, down the hallway.
23.
Stevie feels safe with Denzel and Tim. They don't pretend the world hasn't gone to shit. They're quiet and tough - they don't fuck around and they don't lie, like some of the other adults do. Most adults think they're protecting you when they leave out the bad parts but that's just crap - it's always better to know what's coming at you. He learned that lesson early and he learned it good - plan for disaster and always expect the worst.
24.
Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica, in nomine et virtute Domini Nostri Jesu + Christi, eradicare et effugare a Dei Ecclesia, ab animabus ad imaginem Dei conditis ac pretioso divini Agni sanguine redemptis + . Non ultra audeas, serpens callidissime, decipere humanum genus, Dei Ecclesiam persequi, ac Dei electos excutere et cribrare sicut triticum + . Imperat tibi Deus altissimus + , cui in magna tua superbia te similem haberi adhuc præsumis; qui omnes homines vult salvos fieri et ad agnitionem veritaris venire. Imperat tibi Deus Pater + ; imperat tibi Deus Filius + ; imperat tibi Deus Spiritus Sanctus + . Imperat tibi majestas Christi, æternum Dei Verbum, caro factum + , qui pro salute generis nostri...nostri...nostri...tua invidia perditi, humiliavit...humiliavit...humiliavit...
Fucking latin.
25.
One day he walks in on Dean and Sam and they're kissing. Dean's got his hands all over Sam and Sam's holding onto Dean so tight Stevie knows from experience there're gonna be bruises. They don't hear him at first and when they stop Sam's head falls back and he gulps in a huge breath of air. Dean presses his face against Sam's neck and Stevie can hear him say how much he loves him. Then Sam opens his eyes and sees Stevie standing there and he freezes, which means it doesn't take much time for Dean to realize something's wrong and look around. He looks surprised to see Stevie at first but then his face just settles into the usual lines - not scared, not angry - even though Stevie knows they're brothers, which makes what they're doing wrong, like one of the seven deadly sins or something, or at least really bad.
But Dean doesn't look guilty at all. He just turns back to Sam and presses his forehead against his, and they stand like that for a couple of seconds before Sam just nods and lets him go, and leaves the room. Dean sighs and rubs his hand against the back of his neck and looks at Stevie, then he asks if they need to talk.
Stevie shakes his head no. He doesn't care what they do - he likes Dean and if fucking Sam makes Dean happy, then he's cool with it. Sam's big enough to kick Dean's ass if he doesn't want it, and let's face it, rules don't really matter much anymore. They never really did, as far as he's concerned.
Dean asks if he's going to have a problem with this - not apologizing or making excuses for him or Sam, which impresses Stevie even more - and he says no. Hell, he used to fuck demons - it's not like he's got a whole lot of high ground to stand on. Dean says he'd appreciate it if this didn't get around any faster than it had to, which Stevie can understand, and he nods and says sure, nobody's gonna hear it from him.
They leave it at that.
Later, when Sam makes Dean talk to him about letting Denzel fuck him, Stevie just laughs, and then tells him to fuck off. He's been looking after himself just fine for years, he tells Dean. He knows Dean goes to Denzel too, but whatever Denzel says doesn't change anything, and Dean finally gives up and he doesn't hear any more about it.
Eventually it gets out about Sam and Dean, although Stevie wasn't the one to tell. Everyone seems to take it okay, or at least if they don't like it they don't talk about it where anyone can hear.
26.
When the plague comes Stevie thinks this is it. End of the world time, or at least end of the humans' time. Every day someone new gets sick and there doesn't seem to be anything anyone can do about it, so every day someone else dies. Stevie spends a lot of his time digging graves, and washing blood out of sheets, and waiting for his turn to catch it. He's not scared of dying, you understand. That could have happened almost any day of his life, given everything. It's just that he doesn't want to die like this - ranting and feverish and bleeding from his eyes. When he sleeps he has dreams, and when he wakes up shaking Denzel doesn't say anything, just holds him closer.
Then one day it's Denzel, hot as fire and not able to keep anything down. Stevie and Tim try to take care of him best they can, but the nurse who comes to look says she thinks it's too late, that he's probably been sick for awhile and didn't say anything. She tries to make Stevie leave so he won't catch it but suddenly Stevie doesn't care about that. He's not leaving Denzel alone, no matter what the nurse or Tim or even Denzel says to him.
Dean comes by at one point to see them. He looks tired as hell - Stevie knows he's been on his feet pretty much twenty-four/seven, trying to keep things going and figure out a way to keep people from getting sick. He sits with Denzel for awhile and they talk quietly, so quiet even Stevie can't hear, and Dean holds Denzel's hand and wipes the blood away from his face like he doesn't even care about catching it. He leaves some antibiotics the last scavenger team brought back but it's too late for them to help. Denzel loses consciousness the day after Dean visits and only wakes up long enough to die, screaming from the pain and shivering on the sweat damp sheets, blood everywhere. Stevie doesn't even get a chance to say goodbye.
27.
The next day he finds out Dean is sick, so sick everyone's sure he's gonna die, too, and everyone is scared because Dean's the only one who really knows how to hold everything together. Sam sits by his bedside, day and night, and a lot of other people keep watch with him, and when the nurse says this is it, that Dean's not going to last the night, Sam's eyes go dark and his face turns to stone, so scary everyone backs up a step, even Stevie. Then Sam grabs onto Dean, holds him tight even though Dean's struggling and screaming, and refuses to let go. Sam's eyes are closed and the veins in his forehead are bulging, ugly and red, and the temperature in the room drops to freezing, everyone suddenly shivering and shaking. Dean keeps begging and begging - stop, stop, stop - until Sam puts a hand on his head and suddenly Dean just collapses against his chest, quiet. Everyone in the room starts crying, figuring Dean is dead, some even whispering Sam killed him, but Sam pets his hair and kisses his forehead, and Stevie sees Dean take a breath, and then another, and it's like a miracle.
28.
Dean gets better and Stevie's glad. But sometimes he hates Sam for not saving Denzel, too.
29.
It's been four years in the desert when Dean tells everyone they think they found an answer, a way to fight the demons and win. Not everyone is in favor - some just want to keep hiding; they think hiding makes them safe - but most people are ready to fight. Everything becomes about getting ready - there are new chants to learn, new spellcraft to master. Guns and knives need protection charms and all of the silver in the camp gets melted down into bullets. Dean stays up all night with the hunters who have joined the camp, looking at maps and talking strategy, and when Stevie walks in with Tim the first time they all look at him funny except Dean, but no one tells him he can't stay.
30.
Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica, in nomine et virtute Domini Nostri Jesu + Christi, eradicare et effugare a Dei Ecclesia, ab animabus ad imaginem Dei conditis ac pretioso divini Agni sanguine redemptis + . Non ultra audeas, serpens callidissime, decipere humanum genus, Dei Ecclesiam persequi, ac Dei electos excutere et cribrare sicut triticum + . Imperat tibi Deus altissimus + , cui in magna tua superbia te similem haberi adhuc præsumis; qui omnes homines vult salvos fieri et ad agnitionem veritaris venire. Imperat tibi Deus Pater + ; imperat tibi Deus Filius + ; imperat tibi Deus Spiritus Sanctus + . Imperat tibi majestas Christi, æternum Dei Verbum, caro factum + , qui pro salute generis nostri tua invidia perditi, humiliavit semetipsum facfus hobediens usque ad mortem; qui Ecclesiam suam ædificavit supra firmam petram, et portas inferi adversus eam nunquam esse prævalituras edixit, cum ea ipse permansurus omnibus diebus usque ad consummationem sæculi. Imperat tibi sacramentum Crucis + , omniumque christianæ fidei Mysteriorum virtus +. Imperat tibi excelsa Dei Genitrix Virgo Maria + , quæ superbissimum caput tuum a primo instanti immaculatæ suæ conceptionis in sua humilitate contrivit. Imperat tibi fides sanctorum Apostolorum Petri et Pauli, et ceterorum Apostolorum + . Imperat tibi Martyrum sanguis, ac pia Sanctorum et Sanctarum omnium intercessio +.
And a-fucking-men.
31.
It's dawn when they head out, the sun just over the horizon. Sam and Dean are in front of their caravan, Dean's big car polished up and shiny. Stevie and Tim claimed the space right behind, in Denzel's Silverado. The two of them have spent days checking out the systems, changing the oils, making sure the tires will hold. Stevie's got a new gun strapped to his leg, a sawed off shotgun that he figures he can't miss with, and four knives in his belt, all of them big. He's got protection runes tattooed on his arms - crude but effective, Tim says - and a bottle of holy water in his pocket. He's wearing a charm Tim gave him, something he said he got from Denzel once. A cross made of iron, hanging from a leather cord.
"You ready, kid?" Tim asks him.
Stevie wraps his fingers around the cross, feeling the rough edges against his skin. He thinks about the thin man who bought him, the demons who used to fuck him. The way Dean kept coming back for him, all those years ago, again and again, refusing to surrender him to the streets. Sam, who gets darker every day but who will never, ever fall - not as long as Dean is drawing breath and hanging on tight with everything in him. Mostly he thinks about Denzel, big and quiet, with his rough hands that touched Stevie so softly.
He's ready. He's more than ready. He turns to Tim.
"Let's do it."