Chapter Text
Deafening silence was all he could think about. It was it. It was driving him mad. He had to get out of here, he had to hear something, anything. It was all he wished for, all he truly desired. That's why when the sounds of sirens filled the air, a smile grew on his face. A sick smile that shouldn't be there, he shouldn't be smiling, he should be scared. He wasn't. He welcomed them as they grew louder, as they drew closer. Finally, finally, he could hear something that wasn't his own thoughts. No one ever said making the voices go away would send him into a spiral of darkness. He never thought he could feel so alone. Then again, he'd been alone for well over a year. Everyone knew he didn't do good on his own but still, no one was there. Silence was all he had left, he hated every second of their time together. But finally, silence was at an end. Now, he just had to release his thoughts, he thought as he grabbed his razor.
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Josh carried the tulips in his left hand, in his right was a map for the graveyard. He was looking for a specific plot that he hadn't been to in over three years. A lot had happened in three years, he went from being a tech at a psychiatric hospital to being a resident psychologist at the same place, and he finally owned his own home - which was small and cozy for two people. Josh had also found someone, someone he would've never guessed existed. He'd never met the person who's gravestone he was visiting today, but the love of his life requested him to bring the tulips and asked if he could support him, who was Josh to refuse such a request. He knew full well the favor would be returned come the time of his late father's birthday, who's plot was only thirty meters to the left. For so many years, his father was the only one who'd understood Josh without once questioning who his son really was. He had been Josh's only parent - his mom died from a car accident when he was only four - growing up and was his only real link to the rest of his family, a family he's rarely spoken to for nearly 30 months.
That was when he saw Tyler kneeling in front of the snow covered stone, his hand resting gingerly on the fading name. Josh got closer, only the sound of his footsteps filled the air until they ceased their movement behind Tyler. Josh read the carvings silently in his head:
Jenna Black
Loving Daughter, Sister & Friend
1991 - 2014
Josh lowered his respectfully and said a silent prayer for Tyler's loss. What had she been to Tyler? Well, they'd been together long before Josh had ever even known Tyler's name. She'd died a year and six months before Josh had met Tyler. They didn't meet in any kind of traditional way and, probably, an unethical one at that. Josh had no regrets, though, he loved this man with his whole heart and would do anything for him. Still, Josh didn't like thinking about the first time he'd seen Tyler, he didn't count that as when they met but afterwards.
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Josh was folding towels when he saw them bring in Tyler. He was so doped up his head was hanging and drool dripped from his mouth onto his lap. Josh had only been a tech at the behavioral health unit for three weeks, but he'd seen his fair share of patients come in just like that. Tyler came in a similar condition as a lot of patients. He had obvious self-harm scars on his upper forearms while his wrists had been bandaged recently. His hair looked like it had been shaven by him, leaving it looking very unprofessional and spots where hair was slightly longer. His face probably hadn't been shaven in weeks. But it was his eyes that bothered Josh, they were so glossed over and unable to track anything.
There was something about him that broke Josh's heart. Maybe it was the state of him, or maybe it was his the fact that he looked like he was supposed to be around Josh's age. Maybe it was just the fact that he looked so familiar but Josh couldn't place him. He could've just had a familiar face, Josh thought to himself. "Josh," one of the female nurses called from the station. His gaze snapped out of staring at the young patient, he hadn't even realized he'd been doing so. Josh walked over without question. "Would you mind being one-to-one with our new patient. His name is Tyler and he'll probably be out of it for some time. When he wakes up, he'll need a friendly face and yours is the friendliest."
Josh smiled and nodded. "Of course."
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Tyler stood up and wiped away a single tear that had escaped, bringing Josh out of his thoughts. Josh handed Tyler the flowers, Tyler then put the flowers in the vase next to the gravestone gently and stood once more. Josh moved his hand to rest on Tyler's shoulder. Tyler responded like he always did, he put his opposite hand on Josh's gently. Josh nearly shivered at how cold Tyler's hands were. "Time for the stupid question followed by an understated answer," Josh started, he saw the corner of Tyler's mouth go up slightly. "How are you?"
The corner of Tyler's mouth dropped again and he gulped - Josh assumed he was fighting the urge to cry, "I'm holding it together," he answered, his voice shaky. Tyler turned to look at Josh, smiling for just a second to try and show that he'd be okay. Unshed tears magnified his brown eyes reminding Josh the first night they'd spent together all that time ago.
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"Was it alright? I mean, I know I made the chicken too dry and the salad wasn't as fresh as the package said it'd be, but -"
"Josh," Tyler interrupted his anxious banter. He stretched his arm across the dining table and put his hand over Josh's. "The food was great. I enjoyed almost as much as I enjoy being with you." Josh's pulse should've gone back down at that, but it instead accelerated his heartrate so much he swore he could hear it. "Now, calm down before you end up in my hotel." My hotel, was Tyler's codename for the hospital. Josh wanted to chuckle or something, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't take his eyes off Tyler's. The other man's gaze full of happiness and sadness mixed into each other. Josh was lost in their depths. "Anyway," Tyler took his hand off Josh's. "I should be getting back. The shelter won't let me in if I don't show by a certain time." He got up and Josh's trance had been broken.
Josh quickly got up to his feet and walked over to Tyler, stopping right in front of him. "Y-you know...," he stammered. "You can always stay the night." Tyler seemed somewhat caught off guard and now he looked like the one caught in a daze. That's when they both moved into each other. It had probably been the most loving and sweet kiss Josh had ever had. Tyler's lips were soft and his warm hand rested softly against his cheek. Josh melted into Tyler and Tyler into Josh. In truth, Josh had never felt so free.
Tyler was the one who pulled away, resting his forehead against Josh's, his eyes still closed. Tyler's hand moved behind Josh's head as Tyler pulled back enough to look into Josh's eyes. That's when Josh noticed unshed tears in his eyes. Concern immediately rose in Josh's chest. "Hey," Tyler got his attention calmly. He must've noticed the change in Josh's demeanor. "It's okay, it's just...." Tyler seemed to be looking for words. "I just haven't felt this way about anybody for a long time."