Chapter Text
[Mature Content Warning. Please log in to view]
[A clip of Ned bound and suspended in red ropes plays; he’s fighting them, almost every word from his mouth is bleeped out. His face is flushed and there are what look to be tear tracks on it. At the edge of the shot, Ariel looks on. Though it is carefully shot, it is obvious that Ned is naked.]
[The Try Guys opening plays; boppy music and bright colours. The ending title card reads “Try Guys Try Men on Edge: 200th Episode Special”]
An unknown voice from off camera: And rolling
[The stereotypical clapper claps then quickly vacates the screen. The camera focuses in on the Try Guys. Zach and Eugene are standing next to each other with Ned and Keith on the outsides. They stand in front of a generic grey background and as happens a lot in their videos, they aren’t wearing much; tight black boxer briefs for everyone. And Zach has a collar on. Buckle in, it is that kind of episode.]
Try Guys: Happy 200th episode!
[Streamers explode from the sides, confetti falls from the sound stage ceiling, horns sound.]
[Music starts to play and a montage of hilarious Try Guys moments flash across the screen. Including highlights like the drag show, shaving their dads, all of them with boob weights, them in the arctic on dog sleds, and many more.]
Keith: So, you remember what we promised to do for our 200th episode? [He looks very excited.]
Eugene: What you promised. [He does not. He looks grumpy. But that might just be his normal face.]
Zach: Wait what did we promise? [He is trying to look innocent and naive. It is obviously an act. Not even a good one either. He isn’t doing that thing where he gently cups his face in his hands, which is his reaction to genuine surprise and excitement.]
[A clip of “The Try Guys React To Their First Videos” plays. It includes Keith saying “I promise you if we get to 200 episodes we’ll fuck each other”]
Keith: Well if you didn’t remember before, you do now!
Ned: We can’t actually show us fucking on youtube [Ned, always the responsible one. Except for when he’s not.]
Zach: Terms of service [He singsongs this. Of course.]
Ned: But we are committed to you, our try-ceratops, so we teamed up with the gay porn site Men on Edge to give you our naked bodies like you’ve always wanted.
Eugene: We can’t actually show all or even most of the shoots themselves on youtube.
Zach: Terms of Service [singsonging again. That is kind of annoying actually]
Eugene: But if you go to men on edge dot com you can use the code tryceratops and buy all of them as a bundle.
Ned: That’s t-r-y-c-e-r-a-t-o-p-s
Zach: Be aware that it is porn so, you know, be ready for that.
[They all smirk at the camera.]
[The shot cuts to the Try Guys in their “choir boy” formation in a nicely furnished office. An Asian man is sitting on a desk opposite them. The title card says his name is “Van - Men on Edge Producer, Porn star, Dom]
Van: Hi guys. [He is an attractive guy, not hard to see how this dude is a porn star. He’s also completely relaxed.]
Try Guys: Hi Van [They say it in unison. Zach and Keith wave. It’s all very twee.]
Ned: So what exactly is involved in being a model for Men on Edge?
Van: Men on Edge is a porn site that focuses on edging.
[Another clip of Ned looking incredibly frustrated. This time he is tied to some sort of metal structure (maybe a weights machine?). He is very flushed and even though only the top half of his body is in frame, the fact that he is bucking and thrusting and getting no relief is very clear.]
[in voiceover] Ned: continually being on edge was frustrating. I was incredibly angry. If my wife had been there I think I might have really lost it.
[In the clip, Ned is very clearly losing it; snarling and yanking on the ropes.]
Van: We also are known for our bondage,
[A clip of Eugene standing in a window frame; the windows covered in sumptuous velvet curtains. For once, his entire body is in the shot. He is wearing extremely ugly grey boxer briefs; it’s hard to believe that Eugene allowed those on his body. Van is using black rope to make an intricate harness round his chest. It manages to emphasise his pecs without covering his nipples and bind his arms behind his back. Eugene looks calm and composed.]
[in voiceover] Eugene: The ropes were really comfortable. Bondage isn’t my thing but it was so intricate that it was hard not to appreciate it.
Van: Including suspension bondage,
[A clip of Zach hanging in a swing of soft blue silk. The silk is wrapped all around his body in ways that showed him off and obviously supported him. Zach looks out of it, eyes half shut and mouth slightly parted. Even though the shot is obviously carefully chosen there was still a large censor blur around his groin. The position is clearly meant to expose and show off those bits the most.]
[in voiceover] Zach: Oh man, the suspension bondage was the best. I felt so vulnerable, it was kinda like flying. Or at least what I think flying would be like.
Van: And our tickling,
[A clip of Keith tied with yellow rope spread eagle on top of a table. He is writhing and yanking at the ropes as Van tickles his feet; he is laughing and also yelling at them to stop, a little bit of begging slips in there too. There is again a big censor blur over specific areas.]
[in voiceover] Keith: The tickling wasn’t that bad. I reacted a lot and they better be glad they had tied me up because otherwise I might have kicked someone in the face.
Van: And more general bdsm and kink.
[In quick succession there are a couple of panning clips of props tables. They include a lot of objects that are blurred out. Also floggers, “magic wands”, gags, blindfolds, candles, feathers, a few other things that are hard to identify (either because a blur had overlapped a little or because the shot was too fast), and a lot of rope and silk in red, yellow, blue, and black]
Zach: wait, you’re going to tie us up hanging from the ceiling? [He sounds very excited.]
Van: Yup
Keith: Are you going to expect us to expect us to kiss your boots and call you master? Because we did an episode on BDSM and it was weirdly sexy [He trails off in a way that manages to convey the awkward sexual tension of that video. He doesn’t seem super keen on doing that again.]
Van: That depends on you, if you go down and want that, sure.
[A clip of Zach. It is a fairly close shot of his face; he is extremely sweaty and has an unidentified substance on his chin. A hand enters the shot and wipes the fluid off his face and lingers. Zach turns his head and starts sucking on the fingers; mouth mostly open and tongue doing a lot of the work. His eyes are closed and he looks exhausted but very satisfied.]
[in voiceover] Zach: I wasn’t expecting it, but I really enjoyed the parts where Van told me what to do or just moved me where he wanted. I felt really cared for. It was nice to have someone that talented focused completely on me for a while.
Ned: I have a wife [This is the most obvious statement ever said in a Try Guys video. Everyone knows this. Everyone.]
Keith: Me too [not as obvious a statement. And it brings the possible cheating context actually into focus rather than just being a random obvious statement like saying, “water is wet” out of the blue.]
Van: They are welcome to come to the shoot and if they are comfortable with it, they can even be in the video. We’ve done videos of men with girlfriends or wives before. It really helps sell that you are actually straight, not just playing it for the scene.
[A clip of Ned, bound in red rope. He is hanging from the ceiling; he’s on his front, head slightly higher than his hips, arms behind him, and heels almost touching his butt, one thigh is tied to the ropes attached to the ceiling, the other hangs down and shields the portions of his body that need blurring from the camera. Ariel is standing just out of reach, gently touching his face with one hand. Ned has the most heartfelt yearning expression on his face as he stares at her, mouth slightly open and panting.]
[in voiceover] Ned: It was amazing to have Ariel there. I felt so cared for the entire time. I knew that I could just let stuff happen because she had my back. Also, it was really hot to have her watching them doing everything to me.
Eugene: Tickling, really? I thought you were going to cause pain. [He sounds incredibly dubious.]
Zach: Eugene likes pain [Another statement of the obvious. All the Try Guys laugh a little when Zach says it.]
Van: We definitely work with pain [He says it with a small predatory smile on his face. Something says Eugene has no idea what he is getting into.]
Zach: I don’t like pain. [Zach sounds a little worried.]
Van: That’s cool. Eugene, you’ll definitely get your pain. [The first part is said to Zach. The second, obviously, to Eugene. With a boatload of suggestiveness in the tone.]
[Several short clips of Eugene tied up; hands each bound in ropes that were attached to the ceiling, ankles bound to the floor, feet bare in the lush carpet. Van is hitting him in varying degrees of hardness with a leather flogger. In some of the shots, Eugene is crying. Every shot is artfully cropped or shot in a way that makes it absolutely clear that Eugene is naked but also that needs no blurring. In pretty much all of them Zach is talking in the background about how good Eugene is at taking it.]
[in voiceover] Eugene: Oh, I got my pain. Van took me way beyond anything I’ve ever experienced. It was amazing. I’m not sure I can even describe it.
Van: And you’d be surprised at how disarming and how torturous tickling can be when you’re aroused and can’t get away.
[Another clip of Keith laughing and crying and trying to get away as Van attacks his body with tickling fingers. This time he is tied, bent at the waist, stretched over the table. His ankles are bound to the table legs, keeping him spread wide. His, also very ugly and grey, boxer briefs are barely hanging on and the censor blur is back.]
[in voiceover] Keith: I don’t know why they tickled me more than everyone else. Maybe I’m more reactive?
Ned: Do your models get safewords? [A small definition box pops up in the corner of the screen that explains safewords.]
Van: Yes, red is the safeword. [He pauses. Then he continues with a heated glint in his eyes.] Or shaking your head vigorously if you’re gagged.
[The camera turns on the Try Guys and focuses on Zach’s wide interested eyes.]
Zach: Your site is known for edging, it’s in the name and everything. [Zach gets it together in time to ask the question. Congratulations.]
[Van laughs.]
Zach: What exactly is edging?
Van: Edging is when a person gets almost to orgasm and then stops, preventing the orgasm from actually happening. It’s a technique to tease. At the end of it, when we eventually let you orgasm it will be one of the, if not the, best of your life. Over the course of the shoot we will work you up again and again, but not quite let you tip over that edge.
[All of the Try Guys look hesitant at this explanation.]
Van: For this to work the best, to keep you the hardest and most responsive, and for your first porn experience to be very successful we ask that you do not orgasm for several days before your shoot. Whether by yourself or with a partner. [He looks at Ned and Keith] Of course, this doesn’t mean you can’t give your partners orgasms. We just ask that you don’t come.
[DEAD SILENCE. There is even a cricket sound effect.]
[The Try Guys turn to the camera as one.]
Ned: This is what we do for you
[The video cuts to a shot of a set that looks like the inside of a gym; there is exercise equipment everywhere. Van is setting up the prop table. Ned and Ariel walk in; they are holding hands. It is disgustingly cute.]
Ned: Hi
Van: Hey [They shake hands.]
Ned: So how is this going to work?
Van: You change into clothes you’re willing to let us cut off of you, we provide some if you need them, and then stand over by this wall for the opening interview. [He sounds incredibly professional and indicates a wall of mirrors]
[Ned takes off his shirt; starts undoing his pants and the shot cuts away.]
[The next shot is of Keith entering what looks like a lavish conference room. There is a massive, heavy oak table in the center of the room, with several extremely comfortable looking office chairs scattered around it. Van is already in the room, talking with a crew member near a light. The camera catches the shadow of someone entering with Keith but quickly moves away before the person can come into frame.]
Keith: Hey.
Van: Welcome to Men on Edge. [They shake hands.]
Keith: So I’m getting naked now?
Van: Not quite yet. [He is laughing as he says this.] Change into the clothes on the table. We’re going to ruin them so you probably don’t want to use your own. Then we’ll film the introduction to let the viewers know who you are. Then you’ll get naked.
Keith: [starting to take off his shirt] This is my wife. She doesn’t want to be on camera but we both want her here.
Van: Cool. [He turns and is obviously talking to someone off camera.] Stand where we tell you and we’ll avoid getting you in the shot.
[Keith drops his pants and the video cuts away.]
[A shot of Zach standing in a gorgeous sitting room. It is all red velvet and dark wood. Van comes into the room. Zach bounces over and they shake hands.]
Zach: Hey! I’m in the clothes that were there. That’s what I was supposed to do right? We can get started any time. I am ready to go. [He looks a little nervous.]
Van: Sure. Sit on the couch and we’ll do the interview.
[Zach sits on the couch and the video cuts.]
[The next shot is of the same room, Van is there, winding some rope around the window frame; prepping for the shoot. Eugene walks in, followed by Zach.]
Eugene: Hey. [He reaches out a hand to shake.]
Van: Hi. [They shake hands.]
Zach: Hi again! I drove Eugene here, I’ll drive him home too. Just let me know when you’re done and I’ll be right here.
[Eugene rolls his eyes but he is standing closer to Zach than normal. Is he nervous?]
Zach: It’ll be fine. You’re great. You’re the prettiest out of all of us. Now take off your clothes, put on those shorts and get ready for the best orgasm of your life.
[Eugene grabs the shorts. He looks at them and looks deeply offended.]
Eugene: These?
[Zach grins and nods. The shot cuts away.]
[A montage of shots of Ned plays. The camera pans down his back, lingering on bruising and scratch marks. A close up shot of his wrist, bound to a weight machine with red rope, the skin near the rope red with pressure and friction. A shot of Ned and Ariel kissing; Ned is still tied to the machine, he has tear tracks on his face. Ned in front of a wall of mirrors.]
[in voice over]
Zach : None of us got to stay for Ned’s shoot because Ned and his wife wanted it to be special.
Ned: It was a rush. I didn’t expect it. I thought it would be awkward, especially with my wife there, but it wasn’t. I was so high on adrenaline. After the second time they denied my orgasm I wanted to fight every person in that room but the ropes wouldn’t let me.
Eugene: Ned’s wife told me that at one point the shot was over but Ned was so frustrated that they didn’t let him down and just filmed him fighting against the ropes for a while.
[A clip of each guy being tickled plays. Keith’s is a different one again; this one is obviously at the end of the shoot. He looks exhausted. Ned is bound to a bench, doggy style over it; Ariel is helping tickle him. The bench is actually rocking with his attempts to get away, despite being apparently bolted to the floor. Zach has his arms bound behind him and is bent over the back of a couch; kneeling on the cushions. There is a censor blur around his butt. Van and another guy are tickling him while he writhes, trying to get away when he obviously can’t. He’s trying to babble and beg but the gag in his mouth stops it from being intelligible. Eugene has his wrists bound to the ceiling. Van has a flogger in one hand and Eugene is covered in bruises. Van is using his free hand to poke and tickle Eugene; he has more movement than any of the other guys and he’s using it. He’s twisting away and avoiding Van however he can. Zach’s laughter can be heard in the background.]
[in voiceover]
Zach: How was the tickling?
Ned: Fine, I handled it better than Keith. [His voice sounds overly defensive.]
[All the guys laugh.]
Eugene: None of us were as bad as Keith
Keith: It was super awkward! I was all into it and then suddenly tickling. Also, I’m pretty sure they tickled me more than the rest of you-
Zach: Keith is super ticklish. [He interrupts Keith.]
Keith: Put together! [Keith finishes. He seems extra annoyed.]
[A montage of Keith clips plays. There are at least three clips of him being tickled. A close up shot of his foot; his ankle is tied to something by soft yellow rope and a dude (not Van) is sucking on his toes. A close up shot of his mouth spread around a gag, drool slipping out of the corner. A full body shot of him tied to a bed; he looks so frustrated he is about to cry. There is a large censor blur over his middle area.]
[in voiceover]
Eugene: Did your wife enjoy it at least? She was there right?
[There is a long silence. The sound on the clips is muted. The silence is deafening.]
Keith: Awkward!
Zach: That’s right, you didn’t do the suspension did you? [He is obviously trying to change the subject.]
Keith: Uh, no. No one would be able to reach anything! Besides it’s scary! [His tone says “duh”.]
[A montage of clips of Zach plays. A lingering close shot of Zach’s skin in blue silk; easily identifiable by the amount of body hair. A clip of Zach’s face, mouth stretched around a gag and blindfold covering his eyes; he looks gone with pleasure. A shot where Zach is suspended in a swing position; he looks like he is sleeping, head fallen back and neck stretched out and vulnerable. Zach tied to a chair with blue silk, Van and the other man standing to either side of him with a hand on his shoulders. He is gazing up at them nervously but also with an air of excitement. There is a prominent bulge in his ugly grey boxer briefs.]
[in voiceover]
Ned: speaking of suspension. We won’t keep you in suspense any longer, the person who loved it the most was Zach.
Eugene: Nice segue [There is the sound of a high five in the background.]
Ned: Zach, you knew you liked this stuff before the shoot right?
Zach: Not really? I think I liked the bdsm episode we did more than the rest of you… [He trails off and obviously abandons that line of thought.] The suspension was amazing and I think I got into the subspace thing that the dom talked about.
Eugene: He said you were a really good sub.
Zach: Yeah, you’d know right? [Zach laughs.] And your shoot was almost as good for me as my own was.
Eugene: Really? [He sounds surprised.]
Zach: Okay not actually. But they used ginger and a vibrating plug on me. Watching you is amazing but. Seriously, that remote controlled toy.
Eugene: Fair. [He is laughing.]
[A montage of Eugene clips plays. Eugene standing in the window, arms up as Van winds the rope around him. A shot that pans slowly down Eugene’s back and butt; showing off the marks from the flogging. A clip of Eugene suspended; he is in a vertical split with his toes only barely brushing the ground. A softly lit shot of Zach in Eugene’s lap; Eugene is tied to a chair. They are forehead to forehead and Zach’s face has unidentified fluid on it. For once, Eugene seems unaware the camera is there.]
[in voiceover]
Keith: Well, you got your pain. And a lot of it. Wow.
Eugene: Yeah. It was amazing. I don’t think I’ve ever been pushed like that. I almost couldn’t take it at one point.
Keith: You? You almost tapped out? [He sound incredulous. Which is fair. This of all things is not the video anyone would have called for Eugene tapping out before the other guys.]
Eugene: It was intense. But Zach helped me out and I took more of it than I ever thought I could.
Zach: It was really cool to be a part of that. Knowing I could help him out was an amazing experience.
[A series of still photos pop into frame. Ned suspended in red rope; sweating and frustrated. Keith bent over a table; yellow rope tying him to it and shorts still on. Zach was kneeling on a very nice couch, bent over the back of it with his hands bound behind is back; he was blindfolded with a gag in his mouth. The shot caught his face and the line of his back. Eugene immediately after the flogging; skin bruised and flushed, Zach visible over his shoulder. All of the pictures are gorgeous and artfully shot so that no censoring is needed despite some of the shots clearly taking place when censoring should be needed.]
[in voiceover]
Eugene: We have these gorgeous pictures that Van took for us.
Keith: All of them carefully cropped.
Zach: I don’t think we’ve ever looked so hot.
Ned: And that is all we can show you of the shoots themselves.
Zach: Terms of service [again with the singsong voice. It is really terrible.]
Ned: Even that much required some pretty careful editing and a lot of time spent blurring stuff out. [He keeps on talking like Zach never interrupted him. If only.]
Keith: And sometimes we weren’t able to show things no matter how much editing we tried to do. [Everyone looks at Zach. And at Eugene]
[Various shots play as the guys voice their final thoughts. These include more candid clips of various guys on set with Van. Some pre-shooting shots and some post interview clips. A lot of the clips of Ned involve him cuddling with his wife. Keith’s are all carefully shot or edited so that his wife isn’t in them but her presence is felt. Zach’s involve a lot of him resting; he looks drowsy and out of it in a bunch of them clearly from the middle of the shoot. He is clearly way deep into subspace. Most of Eugene’s have Zach in the background, dropping props or bothering the lighting people. A couple have Zach and Eugene sitting close and talking.]
[in voiceover]
Ned: This was definitely worth it. Both me and my wife enjoyed it. It actually helped me feel closer to her, like a really exclusive date with a bunch of other people in the room.
Keith: It was an interesting experience but not something I’m really into. I’m really glad other people enjoy this sort of thing, giving or receiving, or hey, both, but I’m probably never doing it again.
Zach: As I said in the Men on Edge post interview, any lady I’m with in the future better be into pegging because that is non-negotiable now. Also BDSM. Subspace is my friend and I love it very much. But no ladies or pegging for now!
Eugene: Being on the receiving end of bondage and having someone dom me was weird and a bit uncomfortable. But the pain play made it completely worth it. Wow, was that worth it. And with Zach there to help me achieve heights I never expected I would definitely do it again.
[The shot cuts to the Try Guys in the office with Van sitting on the desk.]
Zach: So I think what we are all wondering is if it is worth it? Will we enjoy it?
Van: Yes. Unless I am doing my job very wrong you’ll enjoy it. And if you aren’t just tell me. You are going to make really good videos. And come harder than you ever have before.
Ned: Tall promises there.
[The video cuts back to the Try Guys in the studio. The grey background now has a streamer draped over it haphazardly and there is confetti all over the floor.]
Try Guys: HAPPY 200th! [The guys all cheer.]
[Eugene reaches out and grabs Zach’s face with both hands and pulls him into a kiss. It isn’t a fleeting or joke kiss either; Zach gets his arms around Eugene’s waist and they make out for a moment. Ned and Keith start to look uncomfortable after a while, glancing between the kissing and the camera.]
Keith: Should we cut? [This is directed at whoever is behind the camera.]
[Zach pulls away before they can cut.]
Zach: That’s right! Porn got me a super hot boyfriend. Now I just need to learn how to use a whip… [Eugene looks torn between pride, wanting to die of embarrassment, and incredibly turned on; it ends up mostly looking like he wants to kill something.]
[The screen cuts to the end card. “Subscribe” “Patreon” “Watch Try Guys Try ‘Fifty Shades’ Style BDSM” “Watch The Try Guys Sexy Alcohol Taste Test” are highlighted.]