Chapter Text
Chanyeol heads into work the Monday after he gets married with the intention of just not mentioning it. It’s not that important, in the grand scheme of things. Making sure their new hip-hop girl group debuts with decent music is far more important than his private life.
He makes it most of the way through the day before Jeongguk goes, unnecessarily loudly in their small office, “Wait, Chanyeol-hyung, since when do you wear a gold ring?”
The moment he says it, Joonmyun screeches. He pushes back from his desk, where he was going through some of Yebin and Huihyeon’s lyrics, and runs over to grab at Chanyeol’s hands. Chanyeol knows from experience that Joonmyun can be like a mule when he wants to be, so he just lets him examine his hands and block him from working.
Chanyeol has worn his soundwave ring for years at this point, so it’s not the fact it’s a ring that surprises his colleagues. It must be the fact it’s gold. That it’s a wedding ring.
“This is really nice,” Joonmyun says, looking at the gold. “Attractive and simple.” He pauses. “Jeonggukkie makes a good point. Since when do you wear a gold ring?”
Chanyeol shrugs. “Don’t make a big deal of it,” he says. “You wear a ring too.” He realises that that was most definitely the wrong thing to say a moment later, when Joonmyun understands what he’s actually saying.
“Yeah,” Joonmyun says, “because I’m mar—” He breaks off. “Holy shit!”
“What, Oppa?” Yebin asks, knocking off her large, purple headphones, and blinking in his direction.
“I can’t believe you got married and didn’t tell us,” Joonmyun says, slowly.
The room falls silent, without even the sound of Yoongi clicking on his mouse that usually fills the room when the rest stop working.
“Let’s not make a big deal out of this,” Chanyeol repeats, carefully. “It’s not—it’s not anything that big. Let’s just finish what we were doing, okay?”
“You got married?” Jihoon asks. “You didn’t have a secret girlfriend, did you, Hyung?”
“No,” Chanyeol says. “It wasn’t like that. I married for Jinsol, to keep our family unit secure. She already had two parents.”
He must be more tired than he thought, because he keeps putting his foot in it. He can see the cogs whirring in everyone’s heads as they work out what he’s saying. Chanyeol sighs deeply. It’s probably a race to see who can get it first.
“You got married to Kyungsoo?!” Joonmyun asks, voice rising to a squeak. “I…never knew you or Kyungsoo had it in you.”
Part of Chanyeol wants to respond with, But who else would I want to spend my life with? but it’s too sappy, so he doesn’t. Instead, he shrugs and says, “We’re best friends trying to plan for Jinsol’s future. It’s not a big deal.”
“It really is,” Joonmyun says.
“Not really—”
Jeongguk, who’s been silent since the beginning of the conversation, suddenly pipes up—probably louder than he intended, if his pink cheeks are anything to go by—with, “I want a ring like that.” He turns to Yoongi. “Right? Don’t you? Hyung should go with me to get one.”
Yoongi turns bright pink.
---
Chanyeol seemingly has a brainwave two weeks after they got married, when Kyungsoo’s poring over job applications, one arm still strapped up in a sling. He’s serious about using his journalism degree this time—they’re all for small newspapers, online magazines, or publishing agencies.
“Kyungsoo!”
Kyungsoo barely notices. “Yes?” Kyungsoo says absently, without lifting his head from his application for HypeBoard Entertainment Network. He’s applied for everything, but he thinks this might be the one. HBEN are a reputable company, with good comedy, and renowned for their far-reaching news network. He’d enjoy the experience of working there, too. He hopes.
“Do you want to adopt Jinsol?”
It takes a moment to filter through, but when it does, Kyungsoo jerks in his seat and turns to face Chanyeol, who’s looking at him in earnest. “Wait, what?”
Chanyeol shrugs. “You’re her dad as much as I am. Getting married cemented that, but you still don’t have legal responsibility for her, right? So adopting her will help.”
Kyungsoo stares at him.
“I’d like that,” he says, when he finally gets his vocal cords working again. “So much.”
It takes Chanyeol a couple of days, but one day he comes home with adoption papers, and drops them on top of Kyungsoo’s laptop.
It’s not an adoption of a stranger, or even of someone out of the family, so the process is simple. Chanyeol vouches for Kyungsoo, Jinsol’s grandparents vouch for him. It goes through.
Kyungsoo is Jinsol’s legal father.
He’s never felt better.
(And then he gets the job at HBEN.)
---
“I love you, too,” Kyungsoo says easily, kissing Jinsol on the forehead and then swinging her around with muscles that bulge. Chanyeol knows from experience that she’s not that light anymore, so watching Kyungsoo hold her with little difficulty is something almost amazing. Enviable.
It’s been months since they got married, and a few weeks since Kyungsoo’s arm healed (he’s still as strong as ever, clearly), and nothing has changed. Chanyeol and Kyungsoo haven’t kissed since their wedding day. They still sleep in bedrooms separated by Jinsol’s. They still refer to each other as their best friend. They still haven’t told Baekhyun and Jongdae they’re even married, but that’s more due to schedules clashing than anything else. They haven’t even seen Baekhyun and Jongdae in months.
Chanyeol doesn’t know why, but something about this whole situation bothers him. Something about their relationship, something about Kyungsoo’s easy relationship with their daughter, cemented further by Kyungsoo’s recently finalised, formal adoption of Jinsol.
There’s something about their relationship that makes Chanyeol not sure whether he envies Kyungsoo or Jinsol.
It slips out before he can stop it. “What about me?” he whines. He exaggerates a pout, to make it look less like he’s being serious. He doesn’t know if he’s being serious or not.
“You big baby,” Kyungsoo says, laughing, as he settles Jinsol down on the sofa. He turns to look at Chanyeol as he does so, grinning. “And you. I also love you.”
“Ewwwwwwww,” Jinsol complains, drawing the syllable out. She’s wrinkling her nose and looking thoroughly unimpressed.
“Hey!” Chanyeol grumbles. “What’s gross about your Dad and I saying that we love each other? We’re best friends.” He pauses. “And married to each other.”
Jinsol just looks at him, with one eyebrow raised. “Dad,” she says, with the soul-suffering sigh of a teenager. Considering she’s still a few years away from being a pre-teen, this is all kinds of unnecessary.
“That’s not a very nice expression, Jinsol,” Kyungsoo says. “It’s rude.”
“Dad,” she repeats, though this one is used on Kyungsoo. She turns back to Chanyeol. “It’s gross because you’re my parents.”
Chanyeol smiles, because if that’s all she has to complain about, they must be doing something right.
To tease her, he walks over to Kyungsoo and wraps himself around his back, draping himself over Kyungsoo’s shoulders the way Jeongguk does to Yoongi. “Hey, Husband,” he says, humour evident in his voice, and leans in to press a kiss to Kyungsoo’s cheek.
Jinsol throws a hand over her eyes, gets up, and runs to her bedroom, shrieking (and giggling).
“Uncalled for,” Kyungsoo says, but he doesn’t make any attempts to get out from Chanyeol’s grasp, so Chanyeol just snuggles in closer.
Chanyeol fakes a gasp. “Absolutely called for,” he says. “You wound me, Soo.”
“Ha,” Kyungsoo says. After a few moments of silence, he says, “You don’t need to feel left out. I see you looking at us sometimes and you look almost jealous. You’re welcome to join in any time, you know that, right?”
Chanyeol just tightens his arms around Kyungsoo. He’s never actually held him like this before, thinking that having a human cloak is a little silly, but he’s starting to realise how comforting it is. Kyungsoo may be shorter than him but he’s not smaller by any stretch of the imagination. He doesn’t need physically protecting. But there’s still something in Chanyeol that wants to hold him. He thinks he’s starting to understand Jeongguk better. The need to hold, to protect, is strong. And holding Kyungsoo like this is easy, when Kyungsoo lets him.
Kyungsoo and Yoongi have similar personalities. If Yoongi can put up with it, so can Kyungsoo.
“I had time with her when you weren’t here,” Chanyeol says. “It’s your turn. I’m not…jealous. Not like that. I just.” He shrugs. Kyungsoo can probably feel it. Want to be loved. They’re not easy words to say. Even if Kyungsoo can say I love you easily, it doesn’t mean Chanyeol can.
It’s funny, that Kyungsoo—a more stoic person, who gets angry easily, who used to threaten their friends with bodily harm if they didn’t stop making noise—would be the person who finds saying this kind of thing easy, when Chanyeol—a more physically affectionate person who wears his heart on his sleeve—would have difficulties, but apparently that’s the way it is.
“It’s okay,” Chanyeol says. “I’ll be fine.”
“Okay,” Kyungsoo says. “Just…you know you can talk to me about anything, right?”
“Yeah, of course,” Chanyeol says, and rests his face in Kyungsoo’s hair.
“Though that doesn’t mean I can excuse random kisses,” Kyungsoo says, wriggling out of Chanyeol’s grasp and raising an eyebrow at him.
Chanyeol laughs, but his heart isn’t really in it.
---
It’s the anniversary of Sunny’s death.
Kyungsoo is about to head out with Yoongi and their new friends Daehyun and Kihyun, a perfectly normal thing he’s been doing more of these days, when Chanyeol feels it. A pang of something. It’s something he’s been feeling too much, recently. Jealousy? Loneliness? Longing?
Chanyeol’s chest tightens. Can’t you stay here, with me? he thinks, but stops it from escaping. “Have fun,” he says, instead. “Say hi to the guys for me.”
“Will do!” Kyungsoo replies. “See you later!” The smile he gives Chanyeol warms his heart, because it’s just for him.
That’s not a normal feeling either.
Jinsol is at Sunny’s parents’, along with the dog, so there’s nobody to stop Chanyeol from heading out to his own parents’ place.
“Mum,” he says, when he’s sitting on their couch. “What does romantic love feel like?”
She turns to look at him from her spot in the kitchen, where she’s making tea. Surprise and excitement are written clearly over her face.
“It’s the anniversary of Sunny’s death,” Chanyeol says in explanation. “I’m feeling nostalgic.”
“Ah,” she responds. “Love is…warmth. Affection. The feeling that you would do everything and anything for the person you love. You want to spend as much time with them as possible, but you don’t want to crowd them. You think about them every day, and wonder if they think about you. You see things that remind you of them, and you want to show them those things so you can share memories.” She smiles. “Romantic love can be exciting, but also relaxing. Love is comfort. Sometimes love can hurt, because you feel it so strongly, but that’s true of all kinds of love, romantic or otherwise. Sometimes it can be all you feel.” She sighs, clearly thinking about her own relationship with his father.
The words drift over him. There are so many feelings he recognises. Kyungsoo is familiar, comfortable, family. He feels like home.
But there’s also the urge for something more. After listening to her, he wonders what more would be like, with Kyungsoo.
After a moment, she asks, “Did you love Sunny?”
With Sunny, he felt the excitement, the thrill of being with an older, beautiful girl, who knew exactly what she wanted and how to get it. She taught him so many new things, about growing up, about girls, about life, about himself. He remembered her after she left, and now he remembers her every day. After all, she gave him his daughter. His and Kyungsoo’s daughter.
“Sometimes I think I did,” Chanyeol says. “And sometimes I think I was just in love with the idea of her. She was my first real relationship, and even then, that’s debatable. She’s important, but I don’t know if it was love.”
It takes longer for her to speak this time, and she asks it almost quietly, like she’s not sure how he’ll take it. “What about Kyungsoo? Do you love him?”
Chanyeol sits still, his head tilted against the back of the chair. He is silent for a long moment as words, feelings, concepts, float around his mind. “I don’t know,” he settles on. “Kyungsoo is…Kyungsoo is stability, for me. When he’s around, I feel like everything is going to be alright. Ignoring that period of military service, which was hell, he’s been a constant in my life for years now. That touch of life without him was horrible, and I don’t want to know what it’s like without him for even longer. He’s my best friend. Home isn’t home without Kyungsoo.” He pauses to try and collect his thoughts. “It’s not really exciting; there’s nothing to be excited about anymore. We’ve been around each other for a really long time, so there’s not much I don’t know about him. There’s little to learn.”
“Have you not thought about furthering your relationship with him? Things might get exciting if you were to go on dates,” his mother suggests. The tea is ready, and she brings it over to the coffee table, setting the cups down. Instead of answering, Chanyeol pours it into two cups and holds one in his hands, savouring the warmth. It’s comforting.
When it becomes clear he’s not going to answer, she continues with, “You can’t tell me you haven’t thought of going out with Kyungsoo.”
Chanyeol sighs, because he can’t deny that she’s actually right. Sometimes Kyungsoo goes out with his friends and Chanyeol thinks, You could be spending this time with me. He discards it as an irrational feeling.
“Sometimes I just feel jealous when he goes out with friends,” he admits. “I know it’s a bad thing. I don’t have the right to feel like this. But it’s hard. I don’t know why, but sometimes I feel like I might lose him, like I nearly lost him once before.”
“Has he ever given you reason to think he might leave?”
“…no,” Chanyeol concedes. “He comes home again and we curl up together and he tells me how it was. I may feel jealous, but I also like that he’s happy and that he confides in me. And yet, I still feel like he could find someone better than me. Or that I could find someone. We’d just drift apart.”
“How would you feel if he did leave you?”
“Upset,” Chanyeol says, immediately. “Betrayed. Lonely. Lost.”
“You should talk to him about this,” his mother says. “It’s important to share these kinds of feelings or you’ll just get worried, and it’ll cloud your relationship with him. You can’t always be wondering if he’s going to leave you, or wondering about what would happen if you were to date someone else. You need to know where you stand.”
Chanyeol nods. “I will,” he says. “What is it that I’m feeling, though?”
“I can’t tell you that,” she says. “It’s up to you to decide what it is.”
It’s all Chanyeol thinks about the whole way home.
---
Kyungsoo likes spending time with his friends; teasing Yoongi about the fact he and Jeongguk still aren’t a thing, laughing over Daehyun’s work-related mishaps, and enjoying Kihyun’s tales about his other friends (who are all seemingly ridiculous, particularly Minhyuk and Hoseok—not to be confused with Yoongi’s Hoseok, though Kyungsoo and Daehyun like to joke about introducing the two of them regularly, just to hear twin groans).
But even though he enjoys getting away, he always enjoys coming home, to his husband. To Chanyeol, who he grows more in love with every day, if that’s even possible.
Sometimes he thinks Chanyeol loves him back, in the same way, but he never acts on it. He never says anything. So Kyungsoo never pushes the subject.
Tonight is supposed to be no different; he heads home with a spring in his step, and a fondness in his chest from hanging out with his friends. Honey, “I’m home!” he calls, throwing his keys into the bowl on the side table, and toeing off his shoes. Before he even hears a response, he’s heading through to the sitting room and settling down next to Chanyeol, who isn’t even watching the television that’s on. Instead, he’s curled up with his knees to his chest.
Chanyeol looks off. Not quite sad, but just—different. Like he’s thinking too much.
“Hey,” Kyungsoo says. “Is everything okay?” Like always, the urge to use the endearment baby is swallowed. The day they got engaged, as it were, was a slip-up. Kyungsoo usually has better self-control.
Chanyeol smiles, but it looks forced. “Yeah,” he says. And then, after a pause, “No, not really. It’s the anniversary of Sunny’s death.”
Kyungsoo knows this; that’s why they’d let Sunny’s parents take her for the weekend. They needed the memory more than they do. “Yeah?” he prompts, softly.
“It made me think about us,” Chanyeol says.
Something settles in Kyungsoo’s stomach. Something like dread.
Even though sometimes he feels like Chanyeol loves him, he also sometimes feels like Chanyeol’s just biding his time until someone better comes along. A pretty girl, so Jinsol can have a mother, like all the other girls in her class.
He’d known, buying the ring, that this may not be permanent.
“Oh,” Kyungsoo says, softly.
However, Chanyeol’s next words are not entirely what he’d been expecting. “What…what are we?”
“We’re best friends, bringing up our daughter together,” Kyungsoo says, by rote.
“No,” Chanyeol says, shaking his head. “I mean, what are we? In this relationship together, what are we?”
There’s silence, as Kyungsoo tries to think of a satisfactory response. “We’re best friends,” he says, finally, “but we’re married.”
“And why are we married?”
Because I asked you, and you didn’t say no. “So we can bring up our daughter together under the safety of a sanctified arrangement that is legally respected. So if there’s a problem, there are plans in place. So if something happens to one of us, there’ll be no problems.”
There’s a pause.
“That’s not what I meant,” Chanyeol says, and there’s a break as he clearly tries to work out what to say. “Sometimes…sometimes I get jealous when you go out with friends, because I feel like you’re going to realise you don’t want to be with me, bringing up a kid who isn’t biologically yours, and you’re going to want to go off and start your own family, with someone you actually love, and want to be with, of your own accord.” The words are said so quickly that they come tumbling out one over another. “And I’m so scared. I don’t want to do this alone.”
It’s not the right time, but Kyungsoo almost laughs with relief. So that’s what this whole thing has been about? “You don’t need to be jealous of anyone. That’s not going to happen,” Kyungsoo responds.
“How can you be so sure?”
He can’t help the laugh this time, one short gasp of amused air escaping his lungs. “Chanyeol, if I was going to leave, I would have left when you told me you had a child you were bringing into our home. I hated children. I didn’t want one. But I stayed, because this is my home. And it was the best decision I ever made. Jinsol means the world to me—that’s why I went through with the adoption, even though I didn’t have to. This is my home.” There are so many things he isn’t saying. He wonders if they’re obvious, if Chanyeol is able to fill in the blanks. Maybe he wants him to work it out.
Chanyeol looks at him with soft eyes.
“Anyway,” Kyungsoo says, “this is kind of a relief, because I was worried you’d say you’d found someone. That you want to leave me behind to bring Jinsol up with her, as a mother figure, because I’m not her biological parent. That you thought the adoption was a mistake.”
“I’d never do that,” Chanyeol says. “When would I even have found time to find someone else? And you’re—you’re Jinsol’s father for life, I hope you know that.”
Kyungsoo doesn’t mention Sohee. It’s been long enough that sometimes he wonders if Chanyeol even remembers her.
“If I’d wanted you out,” Chanyeol says, slowly. “I would have already asked you to move out, or moved out myself. When I found out she called you Dad, I would have asked her to stop. It would have made everyone cross with me, but they would have done it. You’d still be O-oppa.” He stumbles over the word as his voice begins to choke up.
Kyungsoo doesn’t know why he’s crying, but he doesn’t want Chanyeol to be feeling it alone. He scoots closer to Chanyeol and brings him closer, so their bodies are flush. It takes Chanyeol a moment, wriggling even closer, if that’s possible, before he hugs back.
“I don’t want a girlfriend,” Chanyeol says, through his tears. Kyungsoo’s collar is getting wet, but he doesn’t mind. “I just don’t want you to ever leave me.”
“I can try,” Kyungsoo says. “I can’t promise I will never leave you. That’s impossible. But I can promise to do my best to stay here with you for as long as I can.”
“I can—I can promise the same,” Chanyeol says, his voice a little more stable.
They draw back so they can look at each other. Chanyeol has red eyes and wet cheeks, but he’s smiling. Their hands find each other’s, and they rest on Kyungsoo’s knees between them, a warm and permanent presence.
“I don’t want anyone else,” Chanyeol says, softly. Then he looks surprised, as if he hadn’t meant to say it aloud. A little stronger, a little more sure of himself, he repeats it. “I don’t want anyone else. I don’t need anyone else. Just you.”
“I have never needed anyone else,” Kyungsoo admits, because he doesn’t want Chanyeol to misunderstand, if this is a confession.
Chanyeol smiles down at their linked hands. Kyungsoo gently rubs his thumb over the backs.
After a long silence, Chanyeol speaks again. “I’m going to bed,” he says softly. “But I don’t want…I don’t want to lose you. Not now.”
“Oh,” Kyungsoo says softly. “Okay.”
They head together into Chanyeol’s bedroom. It’s a little bit more cramped than Kyungsoo’s room, due to the extra equipment in it, and a bit messy too, but that’s nothing new. It’s just that Kyungsoo’s looking at it with different eyes.
Chanyeol heads to the side of the bed closest to his wardrobe, and Kyungsoo automatically goes over to the other side. Quietly, they undress. Chanyeol wears pyjama bottoms when he sleeps, but Kyungsoo always sleeps in his underwear. This time, he leaves his t-shirt on, even though Chanyeol’s seen him without it. It seems inappropriate to take it off. Chanyeol clearly thinks the same, because he’s wearing a loose white t-shirt that goes rather well with his tartan pyjamas.
It should be weird, sharing a bed for the first time, but somehow it isn’t. It feels like this is right, like they should have been doing this the whole time.
It’s just as strange that he falls asleep as easily as he does.
When he wakes up, Chanyeol is already awake. His hair is a mess and his shirt rumpled, but he’s smiling.
“Hi,” Kyungsoo whispers.
“Hi,” Chanyeol responds. “Thank you.”
And then he leans in and kisses the edge of Kyungsoo’s mouth.
Kyungsoo lets him pull back, smiles, and then follows him.
The kiss is gentle, fond, and thankful. It’s also utterly full of love, and Kyungsoo can feel it from the both of them.
When they pull apart, they’re both smiling.
---
It only takes a couple more nights of sharing a bed for the two of them to feel comfortable, for them to realise this is what they want. To be together, like this.
They don’t move everything of Kyungsoo’s into Chanyeol’s. Just some clothes, books. It’s a little cramped, what with the music equipment that’s been in there for years now, but it’s also cosy. Kyungsoo likes it. Their room.
Jinsol takes it as well as can be said of a child, though the first time she sees them kiss, when they’re still experimenting with their closeness, she does throw her hands over her eyes and run away, whining. “I’m telling Yena!” she shouts, and Kyungsoo winces. He likes Jinhee, but the moment she finds out, she’ll never let either of them live it down. Same with Joonmyun.
And yet, that’s a price he’s willing to pay, for this love, for this comfort. Joonmyun and Jinhee are harmless, and love them, and will be happy for them. That’s all that really matters.
---
“Chanyeol-hyung, you never had a honeymoon, right?” Jeongguk asks, scooting up beside him on his wheeled chair.
Chanyeol drags his tired eyes up from the song he’s mixing, and blinks around at the empty room. He’s been so focused on his work, he didn’t realise the time. Everyone’s gone for lunch except for him and Jeongguk.
“No,” Chanyeol confirms. “Why?”
“I need to go back to Busan to see my parents,” Jeongguk says. “And I know it’s not much, and you probably want to do something more exotic, but I wanted to know if you guys wanted to come with me?”
Chanyeol looks at him in surprise. This is the strangest invitation he’s ever received, and that’s including the one to marry Kyungsoo.
“Okay, let me rephrase that,” Jeongguk says, possibly realising how odd that question was. “My older brother has a house near the beach, that’s going to be lying empty in June because he’s away in Japan for a month for work. He told me that if I wanted a summer holiday, I could stay in the house, and I’m allowed to bring whoever I want. It’s been a long time since I’ve been home, and it’s always better with others. Would you like to come?”
“Wow,” Chanyeol says. “Thanks, that’s really thoughtful of you, Jeongguk. I’ll have to discuss it with Kyungsoo and Jinsol tonight—I’ll let you know tomorrow. Is that okay?”
Jeongguk smiles toothily. “That’d be great, Hyung!”
“Why did you think of us? Is Yoongi not going?”
Jeongguk sighs. “He needs convincing!” he complains. “If you’re going, I think that’ll help convince him to come. It’s been a while since we went anywhere together.” He looks a little sad.
“We’ll let you know,” Chanyeol assures him, and then, “Here.” He lifts his headphones from around his neck and places them over Jeongguk’s ears. They’re a little too big, and Jeongguk clasps them with his hands. “Listen to this for me, I’m so tired I don’t know what’s wrong with it.” Chanyeol presses play on the same song, and watches Jeongguk’s facial expressions.
There’s a moment where Jeongguk winces, and Chanyeol sighs. “Yeah, thought so,” he says to himself.
Jeongguk hands the headphones when the song ends. “Well…” he says. “It was good, except for that one bit. You know the one?”
Chanyeol sighs and nods, because he knows all too well. The audio is hollow, the feeling wrong. He can’t work out how to fix it. “I’ll see what I can do. Thanks.” He turns back to finish his work, but Jeongguk shakes his head and drags him up.
“You need to eat first, Hyung,” he says, and Chanyeol is both tired and hungry, and he lets him drag him away without any protest. His work can wait.
It’s always nice eating lunch with the rest of them. They chat together, sharing updates on work until Joonmyun complains that he hears enough of that in the office, and they switch to updates on their personal lives. Yoongi’s quiet as always, but whenever Jeongguk gets excited, animatedly waving his arms about as he describes how beautiful the sea in Busan gets in summer, he looks so unbelievably smitten, so overwhelmingly in love, that Chanyeol doesn’t know how Jeongguk doesn’t notice that Yoongi only looks like that when he’s talking.
When Jeongguk stops, and turns to look at Yoongi for his opinion, Yoongi schools his face into his regular, flat expression, and shrugs, and Chanyeol almost laughs out loud at the contrast. He doesn’t get why Yoongi won’t just tell Jeongguk, when it’s obvious to all of them that they’d be better off together. But Kyungsoo won’t let him meddle, so he won’t.
He wonders if taking a honeymoon trip down to Busan could be of help to all of them.
---
He brings it up later that day, after Kyungsoo’s come to pick him up. “Jeongguk’s invited us to Busan in June. His brother has a house lying empty there for the summer, and Jeongguk was wondering if we wanted to spend our belated honeymoon there.”
“We’re having a honeymoon?” Kyungsoo asks, surprised.
“Well, we never discussed anything,” Chanyeol says, with a shrug. “We can have a honeymoon, if you want a honeymoon. Now we’re kind of on the same page as each other.”
“Didn’t expect you to be the first one to bring that up,” Kyungsoo says honestly, shrugging his shoulders. “But yeah. It’d be nice to have a holiday together, honeymoon or not. And it’s been a long time since I last went to Busan.”
“I think Jinsol would like it,” Chanyeol says. “I don’t think she’s ever been.”
“Okay,” Kyungsoo says. “Let’s mention it when we get home.”
Jinsol is understandably excited at the idea of going on holiday. She’s not had a proper holiday before, or at least not one as far away as Busan. “What’s it like?” she asks, bouncing in her seat.
“It’ll be really warm!” Kyungsoo says. “There are six beaches, and a national park, and this really big aquarium.” He stretches the vowels in really in a way that causes Jinsol to giggle. “Jeongguk would be able to tell you better, because that’s where he’s from.”
“Are we going with Uncle Gukkie?” At some point in the last year, Jeongguk’s gravitated to being Uncle. Chanyeol encourages it, if he’s honest.
“Yeah, and Uncle Yoongi,” Chanyeol says. “Jeongguk invited us.”
“Yay!” Jinsol says, beaming up at them. “It sounds fun!”
“Okay,” Chanyeol says. “Sorted. I’ll let them know.”
---
They could fly down to Busan, but it’s just as easy to take the KTX train early in the morning. Jinsol’s excited as they settle down in four empty seats, asking Jeongguk all kinds of questions about Busan. Jeongguk, always willing to play with Jinsol, lets slip that his younger cousin will be there too, Choi Yewon, and Jinsol’s questions switch immediately to the topic of Yewon.
Across the aisle from them, Yoongi, who has been convinced to join them, watches on fondly as Jeongguk uses his hands to talk about everything, before turning to glare at Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, who are just grinning at him.
“Don’t speak a word,” Yoongi mouths, and Chanyeol mimes zipping up his lips.
The KTX stops at multiple stations along the route. Jinsol and Jeongguk take turns to jokily ask if they’re there yet, every time they stop at a major station. After the third time, Yoongi pretends to swat Jeongguk with his book, to giggles from the both of them. Jeongguk may be in his twenties, but you’d never know it.
Almost three hours from leaving Seoul, they arrive in Busan. Chanyeol jolts awake as the train slows to a stop, and gently nudges his companions awake, all of them having succumbed to the gentle lull of the train. They gather their luggage and belongings and pile off the train and into the Busan heat.
Once out of the train station, they take a bus down to Haeundae, which takes around another hour. There are plenty of beachside hotels for guests to stay in, but Jeongguk bypasses them for a small white house near the beachside. It has a western-style porch out the front and isn’t far from the sand. It looks inviting and cosy.
“This is us,” Jeongguk says, and he strolls up to the front porch, where a padlock is locked around a wooden post. Inside the padlock is the front door key.
The inside of the house is just as cosy, an open-plan kitchen-diner-sitting room and three bedrooms. Chanyeol is about to suggest that Jinsol sleep in their room, but Jeongguk says, “Jinsol needs her own space! Hyung, you don’t mind, for a couple of days, right?”
Yoongi turns away so they can’t see his blush, but shrugs. “That’ll be fine,” he mutters.
“Excellent!” Jeongguk says, and points out their rooms. They all drop their suitcases off and relax in the sitting room until the doorbell rings, an hour or so after they arrive.
When the door is opened, there’s a woman and a young girl, maybe a little older than Jinsol. Her hair is done in brown bunches and she’s beaming. “Gukkie-oppa!” she calls, waving frantically.
“You don’t mind, do you, Jeongguk?” her mother asks, and Jeongguk shakes his head.
“Everyone, this is my cousin, Yewon. You don’t mind, right?”
Chanyeol shakes his head, the movement echoed by the other two. Jinsol ignores them, trying to get a glance of Yewon from the corner of the room.
Yewon’s invited in, and Jinsol greets her with a big smile and a wave. They both monopolise Jeongguk’s attention for a while (Jinsol tells Yewon she calls him Uncle, which Yewon seemingly thinks is wonderful), before falling into conversation with each other. He collapses onto the sofa next to Yoongi, who has got his laptop out, and curls up next to him. Chanyeol just grins.
---
Yewon becomes a fixture over the next few days. Every time they go out they take her with them, and sometimes they stay at the house with her for extra company. She and Jinsol become fast friends (though they were never really in doubt), and it’s quite nice, having another young voice around the place.
“Here you go, little ladies,” the ice cream van man says, handing over the two large vanilla ice creams to Jinsol and Yewon, who take them with wide grins. A further three ice creams are delivered to Kyungsoo and Chanyeol, who take them with nods of thanks, having already paid. The third ice cream is for Jeongguk, who had stayed back at the beach house to prepare for the day in front of it. Yoongi had refused one.
They begin walking back down the beach towards the beach house and Jeongguk. The sun is out and Kyungsoo has made sure they have copious amounts of sun cream, enough for all of them. The plan is to play outside and go swimming for as long as possible. There’s nothing else they need to do.
Jeongguk has set out a couple of beach recliners once they reach him, and made sure there’s a volleyball net set up, ball set aside. There’s also a football, and Jinsol races the last few metres to reach it first, kicking it to Jeongguk, who kicks back and then takes his ice cream from Kyungsoo’s outstretched hand. Chanyeol joins in, but Yewon doesn’t seem interested. Kyungsoo watches as she settles into one of the recliners to finish her ice cream, trying to stop it from dripping onto her white dress.
Once satisfied she’s safe (he’d promised her mother, after all), Kyungsoo turns back to watch the strangest football game he’s ever seen, one slightly hampered by dairy goodness and far too much laughter. It’s a complete miracle no ice creams are lost during the game.
They spend the whole day out there, basking in the heat and the warmth. It’s just a nice day on the beach, where they don’t need to do anything or see anyone. Kyungsoo has enjoyed it.
“It’s late, we should head back,” he says finally, as the sun dips below the horizon.
Jinsol whines. Yewon, when Kyungsoo looks over at her, is pouting.
“It’s going to get cold,” Chanyeol agrees. “You girls are going to freeze.”
“I’m warm!” Jinsol says petulantly. She’s starting to shiver with the night air, so that’s clearly a lie. Kyungsoo doesn’t call her out on it. She’ll learn.
“It gets really pretty at night, Ahjussi,” Yewon says. “Can’t we stay out here for a little longer?”
Kyungsoo folds his arms and raises an eyebrow. Yewon spins to look at Chanyeol, perhaps expecting a more favourable response from him.
“Ahjussi!” she starts.
Chanyeol takes a step backwards. Kyungsoo can see him begin to wilt under the force of Yewon’s pout, and sighs.
“We can see from the porch,” he says. “We’re only going over there.” He points in the direction of the beach house, which they can see. Jeongguk is still resting just in front of the porch, tired after playing in the water with two excitable pre-teens all day. “We can go and bother Uncles Gguk and Yoongi,” Kyungsoo suggests, dangling it like a carrot.
Jinsol perks up at the suggestion, and she and Yewon run back towards Jeongguk, taking good care to tackle him in his sun lounger. The scream he makes as he’s jolted awake makes both Chanyeol and Kyungsoo laugh.
A moment later, Yoongi appears at the back door, looking around in surprise for what attacked Jeongguk. He settles when he sees it’s just the girls, and also laughs. Jeongguk pouts.
---
Despite his best intentions, Kyungsoo ends up working on one of the final days of their holiday.
He’s got his headphones on, soothing music playing as he has to edit his newest column for the third time (he has no idea why his editor doesn’t just do it herself, she’s perfectly capable), when he hears words faintly through the twanging of the acoustic guitar. “—alone, I needed to talk to you.”
Kyungsoo pauses his music and saves with one hand, removing his headphones with the other. “Sorry?” he asks, turning to the door where, to his surprise, Yoongi stands. He looks uncharacteristically nervous.
“I just—I wanted to talk to you.”
“I thought you were going out with Chanyeol and the rest?” Kyungsoo asks, only just about stopping himself from saying the kids, even though Jeongguk isn’t a kid anymore.
Yoongi shrugs. “I told Gguk I’d catch up to them later.” He takes a seat on the bed behind Kyungsoo and begins fiddling with the quilt. “Do you…” He stops, and looks up at Kyungsoo. “Do you still think I should tell Jeongguk? About how I feel?”
“Yeah,” Kyungsoo says, simply.
“I wasn’t sure,” Yoongi says. “I feel like he didn’t want to have a holiday alone with me. He hasn’t spent any time alone with me at all. It’s really awkward.”
“You keep avoiding him too,” Kyungsoo points out. “That doesn’t help.”
Yoongi sighs, and looks, for one of the first times since Kyungsoo first met him, small. “What if he doesn’t—?”
“Seriously?” Kyungsoo asks, raising an eyebrow.
“I’m just worried. That I’ve dragged this on too long. That if he ever wanted me, he’s moved on.”
Kyungsoo folds his arms. “When we were in the army together, Jeongguk made it clear there was someone special to him. Now, he may not have mentioned any names, because we were surrounded by men who wouldn’t have taken too kindly to it, but he certainly wasn’t referring to Mingyu or Yugyeom, or any girls.”
Yoongi bites his lip. “Okay,” he says softly.
“So yeah, I still think you should tell him,” Kyungsoo says. “You haven’t betrayed his trust, or whatever it was you told me before. You also owe it to yourself to get it off your chest after however many years it’s been.”
“Okay,” Yoongi repeats. “But if everything goes to hell, I’m blaming you.”
“It won’t,” Kyungsoo says. “I can assure you.”
Yoongi doesn’t look like he quite believes him, but he still nods in agreement before leaving.
The next day, Kyungsoo is walking past Jeongguk and Yoongi’s bedroom when he hears Jeongguk ask Yoongi to go and see his parents with him. Kyungsoo almost stays to eavesdrop on their conversation, but the thought of Jinsol seeing him stops him. What a terrible message to send an impressionable pre-teen.
Instead, he keeps moving, sure that Yoongi will tell him later.
---
Yoongi does end up going to Jeongguk’s parents’. Yewon is left with Kyungsoo in Jeongguk’s absence, and she and Jinsol spend the day inside, playing a racing video game together on one of Jeongguk’s brother’s consoles and filling the house with childish giggling.
When the two of them arrive home, there’s something off about them. Jeongguk doesn’t quite look at Yoongi, instead beaming at the two girls and running over to ask for a best of three match. Yoongi, instead, nods to Kyungsoo, and then off into the house. Chanyeol waves them off, and so Kyungsoo quietly moves after Yoongi.
They end up in Kyungsoo’s bedroom again. Yoongi sits on the bed and sighs.
“Okay, so how was it?” Kyungsoo asks. “You and Jeongguk are acting strange.”
Yoongi shrugs. “His parents were very nice but it was weird. It gave me so much to think about.”
“How so?”
“From the moment she saw me, his mum kept calling me Jeongguk’s boyfriend. Constantly. And he didn’t correct her, even when she first greeted me and said that, ‘And you must be Jeongguk’s boyfriend!’ So when he was off catching up with his dad, I said to her that I wasn’t, and she was like, ‘Don’t worry, honey, I have no prejudice against that. I know my son loves you and you love him and that’s all that matters.’ It was so nice and I still feel so bad about it.” Yoongi looks down at his hands, clenching his knees. “But I didn’t want to have his mum think things that weren’t true, so I kept at it, saying we really aren’t dating, and she seemed really surprised? She said that I look at Jeongguk like he hung all the stars in the sky, and he looks at me the same way. That he talked about having someone, and she was sure it was me. That she didn’t need to ask him to know that he was in love with me, she could just see it, and she’s okay with that. I didn’t tell him. She literally told me and I still couldn’t tell him. I’m so scared, Kyungsoo.”
“I’ve been telling you for so long that Jeongguk wouldn’t reject you. I understand that you’re scared. But nothing is going to happen if you don’t say anything. Neither you, nor Jeongguk, deserves that. You deserve to be happy. Together.”
But Yoongi’s still shaking, still worried, so completely different from the emotionless exterior he portrays regularly, and Kyungsoo has actually had enough at this point.
Kyungsoo sighs. He’s always considered interfering to be bad. But he’s going to meddle. He’s going to get a straight answer out for once. He stands up and heads to the door, and shouts, “Jeongguk, come here!”
There’s a clatter from the games room, and then a squawked, “Coming!” Jeongguk runs quickly to the room, where he looks from Kyungsoo to Yoongi in confusion.
“Come in,” Kyungsoo says, inviting him into the room. “Please just talk to each other.”
There’s silence for a moment as the other two men just look at each other.
“Oh, come on,” Kyungsoo groans. “Air your grievances. Get it out there.”
Yoongi sucks in a breath, and says, “Your mum kept calling me your boyfriend.”
From where Kyungsoo’s standing, too far in the room to escape, Jeongguk looks surprised—more surprised than Kyungsoo would have thought. “Oh, she did? I thought I was just hallucinating,” Jeongguk mutters. “Did you not like it?” he asks, louder.
“Wait, what do you mean, hallucinating?” Yoongi asks. Kyungsoo wants to ask the same question.
“I asked you first!” Jeongguk whines, a little petulantly.
“Well, no,” Yoongi says. “No, I didn’t like it. Because it’s a lie. It’s not true. We’re not dating.”
Jeongguk blinks, as he visibly translates that in his head. “Wait—does that mean you’d have liked it if it were true? You’d…want me to call me your boyfriend?”
Yoongi flushes and looks away quickly. It’s loud in the room and says everything Yoongi isn’t saying.
“Oh,” Jeongguk says. And then, “I thought I was hallucinating because I couldn’t quite believe she’d be so accepting of us so quickly. I’ve only ever referred to you as my best friend, but I guess she saw through that.”
Yoongi jerks his head up at Jeongguk’s words. “You—?”
“Well, yeah,” Jeongguk says, crossing the room towards Yoongi. He kneels before him and puts his hands on Yoongi’s cheeks. “You should have told me earlier, that you wanted this. I would have told you a long time ago.”
It’s a touching moment, and Kyungsoo has overstayed his welcome. He escapes as quickly and quietly as he can manage, but he doesn’t manage to avoid seeing the kiss.
“Finally,” he says, sitting next to Chanyeol in the sitting room. “It’s over, finally.”
Chanyeol doesn’t ask what he means, just smiles and wraps an arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulders, bringing him closer. Kyungsoo rests his head on Chanyeol’s shoulder and smiles.