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Taehyung believed in love. True Love™️ with a capital TL. The consequence of growing up with younger sisters who insisted he played princess and prince with them was this irrational idealistic fantasy of finding The One (also with capital TO).
It was this dream that he cling onto ever since he knew he could date anyone he wanted—boys or girls, he never cared much for it. Taehyung has his first kiss with a girl from his class whose tongue was too wet, and his first handjob from a guy who tutored him math his junior year. It was all good times and sunshine. He had lost his ass-girnity freshman year of college and dick-girnity that same night when the guy insisted they switched.
However, the one night stand game got old too fast, too soon. All his childhood aspirations came crawling back to drag him down with them. He couldn’t stop picturing this dramatic, whirlwind romance, that he would be swept off his feet by a man or woman and taken away to paradise. He wanted passion and compassion, emotion flying from one end of the spectrum to another. He wanted burning desire like molten lava sliding off his skin. It was a lot to ask, but his mother always told him to never want anything less than he deserved.
He thought he deserved a lot—or at least, a romance good enough for the novels. Taehyung had standards to live up to after all. However, he would soon come to realize that all of it was a major case of Bullshit with a huge, massive, capital B glowing in neon red. The world commercialized love and relationships, made you think that you would be getting that advertisement-perfect romance as you sipped champagne with your lover by the beach in the Maldives. It made you believe that everyone who treated you like shit only behaved that way because “oh, honey, it’s because they like you.”
Way to fuck up his entire understanding of what being in love with someone actually meant. Taehyung was on the constant cycle of reusing the same lines, the same scripts, and the same results—zilch. Zero. Nada. His friends would tell him that it was always the other guy who was probably busy, or that he couldn’t handle his intelligent ass. But no—what those movies and stories, and even your friends and family, failed to tell you at times was the one thing that was plain to see and was constantly ignored.
He’s just not that into you.
Still, he clung onto that hurricane-like love story ideal. This was perhaps his hamartia, his fatal flaw. Taehyung thought he would find salvation to it in Park Jimin and the story began with a nonexistent call.
the fall
Taehyung nibbled on his teeth nervously and eyed his cell phone for the hundredth time that night. The air was thick with silence, he could practically hear his heart beat in his ears, blood rushing in his veins almost angrily as he impatiently waited.
The waiting was always the worst part. When you had a good date and had dropped your number with said date, their promising you that they would give you a ring, all you could really do was wait afterwards. Taehyung had not gotten Hoseok’s number either, choosing to let the man make the first move like he promised. Hoseok seemed pretty interested last night, engaging him in light conversation that had the two of them giggling and laughing. Even when the waiter came around to ask if they were done, Hoseok had ordered them another round of drinks to enjoy.
So why the hell hasn’t he called?
This was always a problem, he supposed. Whenever he thought things were going somewhere, that he had found a potential for The One, that person just… never came back. And Taehyung was left high and dry, forcing himself to move on and begin something else with someone new.
“Jesus, hyung,” Jeongguk muttered across from him. He had invited the younger out for coffee to distract himself. Being at home waiting for the call had driven him close to the brink of insanity and obsession. “Was he that good?” he asked, tilting his head.
“I guess,” Taehyung shrugged, chancing another glance at his phone that never lit up with a notification. “He was pretty cool, he seemed interested.”
Jeongguk smirked, cupping his fingers and bringing it to his lips, tongue pressing into the insides of his cheek. “Why? Did you, you know, offer to—” he made the sucking motion.
Teahyung crinkled his nose and flung a cookie in the boy’s direction. “You’re such a male.”
“Newsflash, you are too.”
“You’re the ultimate testosterone competition machine.”
“And you’re distracting from the original question,” he noted.
He hated how observant Jeongguk was. “Okay, it was average at best. He was a good guy, seemed chill.”
“And this gave you the TO vibes?” Jeongguk raised an eyebrow, sipping his americano. They had gotten around to using TO for short because Taehyung was still on that insistent journey to find that one special person.
“You never know, there was a little spark there, might blow up,” Taehyung shrugged. He was grasping at strings, he knew. Hoseok had been nice, sure. He could imagine a few different ways their story could go, but none of them was going to happen if the man didn’t call.
Jeongguk snorted cynically. Unbeliever. “Alright, sure. Whatever floats your boat. Do you have any way of contacting him yourself? It wouldn’t be so bad to take initiative.”
“No, but he did say he went to Bar 95 every Wednesday night and today is—would you look at that—Wednesday.”
The younger eyed him suspiciously, “You planned this already, didn’t you?”
“It’s been three days, Guk, I’m dying here.”
“I don’t know,” he pursed his lips hesitantly, looking up to meet Taehyung’s eyes, “doesn’t that seem stalkerish?”
Taehyung let out a pitiful whine before letting his head fall against the table. “It’ll be fine. It’ll be sort of like a coincidence—fate.”
“Fate,” Jeongguk scoffed, “are you trying to convince me or yourself?”
“Jeongguk,” Taehyung moaned.
It was clear that the younger took pity on him because he only sighed and nodded. “Fate, sure. Be careful, yeah? And—” he took a deep breath “—try not to expect too much, alright?”
Sure, Taehyung most definitely wasn’t expecting much. It was a little weird but he really did just pop by the bar. It wasn’t as if he was actively—okay, so he was actively looking for Hoseok but he wasn’t following him around. Fuck, he really was trying to convince himself more than anything.
This was a bad, bad idea. Taehyung mentally chided himself as he made his way to the bar, ordering a very strong drink from whoever was serving at the bar. “You here for a table?” one of the staff members asked. Shorter guy, nice dress shirt. A real looker. Bet he got calls back from his dates.
“Nah, just… waiting for someone,” Taehyung cleared his throat, sipping his drink and hoping that was enough of an answer.
“Oh, reservation? Hot date?” the guy grinned this time, his eyes crinkling in the corners and his thick lips curling up.
Taehyung coughed again, wondering what he could say to get out of this hole this time. He chuckled awkwardly, “Uh, not really, I’m… waiting for someone.”
He was an idiot.
The guy paused, “Are you okay?”
“It’s stupid,” Taehyung laughed a little, voice strained.
He stared at him again, pausing before raising his finger. “Let me finish off with the rest of the customers and I’ll—I’ll get back to you. Sound good?” Taehyung wasn’t sure what to do so he only quietly nodded.
The guy—whatever his name was—drifted behind the bar, mixing up drinks and sweet talking customers. He had charm for sure. Taehyung admired that. For a while, he thought he did too, but he finally came to a conclusion that he had the appeal of a damned cod considering his success rate thus far.
After an hour or so, the guy finally returned, this time rolling up his sleeves and putting himself before Taehyung. “So, love problems I’m assuming? Needed a lone night out?” he chuckled, taking a sip out of his own glass. “I’m Jimin, by the way, the manager here and a concerned citizen.”
“Uh, Taehyung. Just… a citizen.”
Jimin laughed, “You’re kind of cute, I like you. So what brings you around here?”
He licked his lips, looking up to the ceiling for a second. “It’s kind of dumb, I just—I don’t know what I was expecting but Hoseok said that he came here every Wednesday so I figured I would catch him.”
“Wait like Jung Hoseok? Dancer, so high, laughs a lot?” Jimin questioned, brows knitting. “I don’t think he’s coming around today. Did he forget or—”
“No, no, it’s just I came here—and I wanted to—” shit, reach, Taehyung, reach. “I wanted to return his pen.”
“His pen,” Jimin cocked an eyebrow, his stance relaxing as he shifted his hips a little. The story was getting messy and Taehyung was well aware of that.
Taehyung pulled out the thing from his pocket and handed it over. “Right, yeah, his pen. I wasn’t sure if he needed it you know. In case anything.” He fidgeted with his fingers and darted his gaze away.
Jimin took it and stared at it for quite some time before twirling it between his fingers, looking at Taehyung expectantly. “So are you going to tell me your real story so I can help or are you going to keep pulling stuff out of your ass?”
“That’s really no way to talk to a customer,” he scoffed.
The guy only laughed, clearly not giving a flying fuck. “Listen, dude, I’m here to offer sage advice should you so need, but if you want me to stay out of your business then I can do that too. Just saying that Hoseok’s a pretty close friend of mine so I can give you some tips—first one being don’t.”
Taehyung’s heart plummeted so hard he could almost hear the sound. “Why not?”
“Guy is still hung up on his almost-boyfriend,” Jimin cleared his throat, “he’s a good guy and this almost-boyfriend is stringing him around by his balls. You have no chance as of now.”
Well, that was that. He slumped against the counter, dejected. “I mean, you never know right. He asked for my number and now I’m just waiting on a call.”
“Taehyung, listen to me,” Jimin started, propping his elbows up on the counter, “what I’m gonna say is going to hurt but it’s going to be the truth. If a guy is interested, he will call you. If he doesn’t then, well, you know.”
This guy was meddling. Taehyung should be pissed but instead he’s wallowing in the guy’s words. “But the signals were all there!”
“My dude,” he chuckled, “let me tell you. I know the signals and they weren’t there. Not if he isn’t calling.”
“You’re pretty harsh, you know, to a stranger,” Taehyung mumbled under his breath, downing the rest of his drink.
“I tell it like it is, my friend,” Jimin smiled again, patting the back of his hand. “Tell you what,” he paused, pulling out a piece of card and scribbling numbers onto the back, “hit me up if you ever need advice. I can have some pretty handy ones to offer.”
Taehyung scrunched up his nose in distaste as he plucked the card from his hands. “Thanks, I guess. It’s been enlightening. You gave me a whole feast for thought.”
“Alright, I have to get back to work, but hey—remember what I said, and good luck.”
That had been the first time he encountered Park Jimin. He didn’t think much of it, figured it was just one of Hoseok’s asshole friends who liked to butt in. He had kept the name card, wasn’t sure why, but he did.
However, what unnerved him more was the fact that he leapt out of a guy’s arms while making out with him to hide in the bathroom, his fingers punching in the numbers of the man he had only met once before. He had talked to Jimin before, called him on several occasions in which he needed as he said, his sage advice. Jimin gave good insight on how to avoid the creeps and the bail-outs. Though it limited most of its chances with other people, he was at least more careful about the way he went about the whole dating thing.
“Taehyung,” Jimin greeted, “what’s the verdict?” Taehyung wasn’t sure but he heard him say “babe, I’ll be right back” to whoever he was with.
“Fantastic kisser, but he said he’s going to be out of town next weekend and will be out of reach.”
Jimin scoffed from the other hand of the line. “What? He’s going on a research trip to the North Pole or something? Who goes out of reach nowadays?”
Okay, that argument made sense. “You’re right, dammit.” This was the worst. Sometimes, Jimin would deem the guy acceptable and say that he was probably interested, only to turn around on the second date when the guy insisted on hooking up. “Also, shit, did I disturb you? Sorry, should’ve texted first.”
“Nah, it’s all good,” Jimin chuckled, “anything else?”
“Nope, just that for now. Thanks, Jiminie,” Taehyung huffed.
“Anytime, Taetae.”
The two had formed some sort of friendship, he supposed. A bond. Taehyung trusted Jimin because his instincts and advice, although rough, was a good call most of the time. He would pop by Bar 95 from time to time to chat with him in person and have Jimin guide him on picking up people. The manager was pretty good at selecting people he knew Taehyung would like.
“You’re an open book,” Jimin pointed out once.
“Really?” he nibbled on a carrot stick his friend had brought over. While the bar was bustling outside, the two hid away in the comfort of Jimin’s private office and chatted away.
He laughed, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Honey, you wear your heart on your sleeve, provide it on your palm to the rest of the world.”
“And that’s a bad thing?”
“No, no, I think it’s cute,” Jimin grinned, circling the rim of his glass with his finger. “You’re sweet, makes you vulnerable and that appeals a lot.”
Taehyung gave him a look, “To the creeps.”
“Not just the creeps!” he quickly interrupted, clicking his tongue, “I like it when people are direct too, makes it easier than having to guess their intentions as fun as that is.”
Jimin was still as blunt as ever but they grew closer over time as they talked about past lovers and failed relationships, Jimin questioning how Taehyung could still romanticize True Love so much when the system was created to promote failure. “It’s not always about the success,” Taehyung had murmured quietly once, “sometimes it’s also the feelings and the thrill of it, those in the present moments that you want to grasp onto tightly.”
The other boy had softened with his words, nodding understandingly. “I get what you mean, I suppose there is some good in that too. I just don’t believe in investing my time in relationships that were never meant to work in the first place.”
“You’re a bit of a cynic, aren’t you?”
Jimin snorted, “That’s one way of putting it.”
“Don’t you ever like it though? The butterflies in your stomach and the spark—”
His laugh cut Taehyung off as he tinkled adorably. In any other situation, Taehyung would’ve been offended but he was curious as to how Jimin would shut him down this time. “Holy shit, Hollywood really has done its number on us. They always talk about the spark, this nonexistent thing that makes you think that there’s something to hold onto. But when the other party figures out that they don’t want this anymore, they can just say that the spark has fizzled out. The spark, my friend, is a myth and you guys eat it right up.”
“Okay, but this one guy I know who talked about the spark from the beginning, said that it didn’t work out with this person he was going out with,” Taehyung narrated, and Jimin looked victorious until he continued, “but then they found each other again years later, spark was still there and it was enough to have them marrying each other. Now they’re happily married for twenty years. What do you think of that?”
Jimin took a deep breath, clapping his hands together and pointing it in Taehyung’s direction. “See, the problem with that story is that that guy is the exception, not the rule.” The other boy tilted his head, not following. “He’s one amongst many that had things actually work out his way. But the rule is that it just doesn’t exist as you can see from the majority.”
“So, what you’re saying is that my belief in the spark makes me part of the rule and not the exception?” Taehyung frowned, the idea leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. It was kind of disheartening to know that there was only a one in a million chance of becoming an exception in the midst of all the rules. Jimin shrugged, indicating that was pretty much what he meant. “It’s cute though, I like the concept of the spark,” Taehyung pouted defiantly.
“So do the assholes who can take advantage of it,” Jimin shook his head, “it’s too easy to use the spark to reason.”
Taehyung sighed, propping his chin up on his palm. “Well, I just wish I can find someone who believes in the spark as much as I do. It’ll be lovely.”
“Oh, speaking of which,” he snapped his fingers, “I might know a guy. Namjoon. Great guy, super sweet, and I think you’d be each other’s types.” So Jimin had arranged a blind date for the two of them set in Bar 95. It was supposed to be casual and so Jimin would be there to mediate the atmosphere for as long as necessary. Taehyung had been anticipating it because he really did trust Jimin’s judgment, especially when it came to guys.
Thus, when the big day came, Taehyung had spent the entirety of his evening selecting an outfit to wear. He kept jumping whenever the door opened and when Jimin finally walked in, his heart was beating too loud against his chest. The man greeted Taehyung before hailing down a waiter and Taehyung ordering his own drink. “So, where is he?”
“He’s not coming.”
Taehyung’s face fell. “He hasn’t even met me, how does he not like me already?”
“It was my bad,” Jimin winced, “I told him the wrong day so he couldn’t make it out of work.” Well, that was a relief to hear at least. He thought his lack of appeal had reached new heights and extended to this extreme. “But I’m here, we can still have a good time. Drinks on me!”
Things were going well with him and Taehyung was busy enough with work that he avoided thinking about his love life altogether. It was a good, productive distraction, but he was beginning to miss it when he received a call from Jimin.
“Hey, are you free this Friday?”
He trapped the phone between his ear and shoulder as he finished up the last of the documents his boss had requested. “Uh, yeah, why?”
“I’m having a small party, like a holiday thing, you know. You should come, it’ll be fun. I’ll be around hosting so I can keep you company, introduce you to my friends,” Jimin said and Taehyung could hear clanging in the background. He was probably at work too.
“Party? Yeah, sure, sounds great.”
“Great, looking forward to seeing you there.”
It was when he returned home that night that it all clicked. Holy shit.
Park Jimin was in love with him.
the rule
“He likes me,” Taehyung concluded to Jeongguk one day. The kid was chipping away at his keyboard to work on a computer science assignment he had due the following day. Taehyung placed a steaming cup of coffee on the table.
Jeongguk raised an eyebrow, hair disheveled, eyes bloodshot. “Who?”
“Jimin.”
He paused, looking at Taehyung dead in the eyes. “Who?”
“Jimin, Hoseok’s friend. The manager at the bar. I’ve been talking to him a lot lately and I think—I think he likes me,” Taehyung affirmed.
The younger let out a sigh, pushing away his laptop and looking at his friend almost pitifully. Taehyung hated that look but knew that it was warranted considering how many times he had been in the exact same situation. A doom loop. “What makes you think so?” There was no bite in his words, yet Taehyung could feel his skepticism all the same.
“The signs were all there, Guk,”
Jeongguk licked his lips, leaning back against his seat and squinting at his best friend, wondering what he was playing at this time. Taehyung basically told Jeongguk about every bit of his love life and, although he was aware that Jimin existed, he never knew the extent of their involvement—that Jimin was basically his love guru. “What were the signs, hyung?”
“Okay, like, listen—the first thing that hit me was this whole avoiding jerks advice he’s been giving me. It’s good advice yeah, but he basically keeps foiling chances I have with other guys by telling me it would be a shit experience for me.”
“Sounds like a good man looking out for you, but go on.”
Taehyung grinned, cheshire cat-like. “That’s not all. One time, he’s with this other person, lover I’m assuming, but he still picks up my call. He knew it was me too because God bless caller ID, right?”
“Wait, how do you know this is someone he’s hooking up with?”
“Called them babe.”
Jeongguk did a look that said that that made sense.
“Then he plays nice guy, says he wants to introduce me to this ‘Namjoon’ character, supposedly his friend. D-day arrives and he says that he had told the guy the wrong date so it was basically just the two of us.”
“Oh whoa, okay. I mean, if he really did fuck up the days then that would be understandable. Also makes sense if he would do it on purpose since—what the fuck—really, who messes up dates like that?”
“I know,” he giggled, excitement bubbling up his stomach. “I can see it all now. But what really tops this is that he’s inviting me to a small gathering this Friday. He says that he wants to introduce me to his friends.”
Jeongguk let out a whistle, smirking, “Damn, he’s already pulling the unofficial in-laws card. I’m impressed.”
“Right!” Taehyung laughed, slapping his knee. “He said he’s going to keep me company too so that’s that.”
“Shit,” Jeongguk muttered, “it might actually be real. I mean, it’s sort of vague, but I can see how that would all link up to come to your conclusion.”
“Precisely, it’s elementary, Jeon.”
The younger rolled his eyes but his lips were twitching in amusement. “Alright, Kim, calm down. Let’s not get your dick up that fast just yet. You still have that party to go to and to charm what’s left of this guy’s pants off of him.”
“Yeah, shit, I’m so excited. I mean, he’s a great guy you know, looks out for me,” Taehyung said softly. His heart really had been flipping all over the place ever since his epiphany and he could only hope that this would be it—the big True Love, The One moment he had been waiting for.
“I’m happy for you, hyung,” Jeongguk whispered earnestly, “you deserve only the best and I hope it works out with him.”
“I hope so too, Guk.”
By the time Friday rolled around, Taehyung was attempting to calm his jitters. He was driving to Jimin’s place, blasting pop music singing about love and happiness out loud. It was going to be a good night, he could just feel it. The party was already in full swing when he arrived, guests littering the place when Jimin opened the door.
“You made it!” he beamed, pulling him in. Taehyung could smell the beer in his breath and figured he had gotten a head start.
“‘Course I did, did you expect me to bail?”
Jimin scoffed, “Of course not, was just worried you were gonna get lost. Come on, I’ll get you a drink then introduce you to people.”
The first hour, Taehyung spent it by Jimin’s side as he took him around to meet people, most of them his colleagues and friends. He had never seen the man so entirely in his element and it was good to know that he was comfortable with this crowd. However, when he was pulled away to tend to his other guests, Taehyung lurked awkwardly by the side, munching on snacks and trying to maintain conversation with a few people he had met.
Throughout the night, he could only shoot glances at Jimin, hoping that it would communicate his need to be around him. But Jimin was busy and he had to be understanding of that. When Jimin was already swaying and giggling around the room, asking Taehyung to help him refill the bowls of food, the least he could do was help, and so he did. He was playing half-host at that point to ensure that the guests got everything they needed. Jimin looked happy though, and that was what mattered.
When the last of the people trickled out sometime after 3AM, Taehyung figured that this was his chance. He had been cleaning up the mess and gathering the trash despite Jimin’s moans of protests that he didn’t need to do all that. “Thanks, Taetae, I can always count on you.”
“No problem, Jiminie,” Taehyung coughed, unable to hide his smile as he plopped down next to Jimin on the couch.
“It’s late, I should be getting to bed,” Jimin huffed, but making no move whatsoever.
This was it. This was his opening. He scooted closer and stroked Jimin’s hair, knowing that he liked that being done to him. Jimin purred happily and keeled into the touch. Taehyung—Taehyung leaned forward to capture his lips. God, it felt so soft and so nice. There was an initial tinge of bitterness from the beer, but it quickly faded as Taehyung moved his lips against Jimin’s.
When he pulled away to chance a glance at Jimin, the man was looking at him incredulously. “Uh, what was that?”
“That was a kiss, silly,” Taehyung chuckled.
“Let me change the question, why did you do that?”
That stopped him. Taehyung blinked at him, his big hands still on Jimin’s smaller shoulders. “Um, I thought since you liked me that—”
“Whoa,” he held up his hand, jumping away from Taehyung and onto his feet. The distance caused a pang in Taehyung’s heart. “Since I liked you? Why was I not made aware of this?”
“W-what do you mean?”
“Taehyung, where did you even get that idea?”
Taehyung opened his mouth, frowning, “It was there, Jimin. It was just so… obvious and I wanted to let you know tonight that it was cool and that I wanted this too. I’m—” he broke off, unsure of how to proceed.
“How—” Jimin squeezed his eyes shut, pinching the bridge of his nose “—how did you even get there? I’m really not following right now. I really do not understand how you came to that conclusion.”
He licked his lips, feeling the anxiety settle in his stomach. He fiddled with his fingers as he tried to explain it best he could. “Your actions, Jimin, it just showed. I could tell from the way you behaved with me.”
“What? How—I don’t understand how you even got there. I treat you the same way I treat everybody else. What is it with you and twisting all this shit in your head? Christ, this—we had something good going, Tae. We were tight, but now you do this—Jesus. I don’t even know where you got this idea from.”
“I just—you know, I thought that,” Taehyung stuttered, heart clenching, “there were signs, Jimin.” His voice came out weak, quiet. He hated it.
Jimin’s eyes widened as he threw his hands into the air, “Signs? What the fuck, Taehyung? What signs?”
“Just you know, with the whole dating thing, the fake guy, and this party—I figured that was your way of—”
A curse slipped past the other man’s lips, halting Taehyung’s words. His chest suddenly felt heavy and his heart lodged in his throat as Jimin raked his fingers through his hair in frustration. “Signs, signs, signs. What have we been talking about for months, Taehyung? If a guy is interested, then they’ll let you know. If not then they just won’t. I don’t know what shit you’re on that you’re mixing all of this weird shit in your head.”
“That’s mean,” Taehyung spoke, lips quivering and he could only hope his voice wasn’t the same. “I know I jumped to conclusions, but you don’t have to put it that way.”
“I don’t know what else I can do, Tae,” Jimin huffed, exasperated, “I never showed any of these ‘signs’ or whatever and you still make it up in your head, isn’t this clear enough for you? This isn’t a sign, Taehyung, this is me telling you that you made it all up. God, I can’t believe I didn’t see it coming. You’re always—goddamn—running around telling me about this fantasy bullshit that just doesn’t happen. I should’ve known.”
Now, Taehyung had a lot of patience and a lot of compassion. But there was a line to be drawn as to how far you could push him. This—this was his breaking point. He swallowed thickly and jabbed his finger accusingly in Jimin’s direction. “I may make assumptions, but at least I’m not a cold asshole like you.”
Jimin squinted at him, “What?”
“You—you’re just a coward! You’re scared of things never working out so you stop them before they even happen. You think everything is black and white, that everyone can show and figure out their feelings with a snap of their fingers, but newsflash, Jimin, life doesn’t work that way. Love is complicated, feelings are complicated,” Taehyung snapped at him, moving to collect his jacket and purse. “And if I’m fucked up for thinking that way then so be it. At least I give my 110% into what I want instead of cutting off my efforts halfway through just because I think it’s impossible. I may twist things, but I’m a hell of a lot closer to finding love than you are. So you can shove your advice up your fuckin’ ass, Park Jimin.”
With that last word said, Taehyung stormed out of the house. It hurt, it hurt so much. Taehyung had experienced heartbreak before, had recovered from it, and he knew he would from this too. The worst thing about this entire thing was the fact that he would be losing one of his best friends along with it.
Maybe Jimin was right, maybe love just never worked out the way you wanted it to. That was always the rule.
—
jimin’s pov
His phone had been silent the whole day. No matter how many times he’s checked, there were no new texts. The meeting earlier had been a mess, he had screwed up everyone’s schedules, directed them all differently, and realized that there wasn’t even supposed to be a meeting that day at all.
He really was going mad. Maybe he needed another night out to unwind. He’s been particularly stressed these days, always worrying, always fussing. It was driving even his employees insane.
“Taemin,” he called. Taemin greeted guests when they came in. They might’ve also hooked up once. Jimin never went back for seconds. “Any new messages for me?”
“Not since the last time you checked which was—” he glanced at his clock dramatically for effect “—two minutes ago.”
Jimin sighed, bringing up his phone again and refreshing his chats and emails, waiting to see if anything new would pop up. Maybe it was his Internet, maybe that’s why it wasn’t refreshing. “Has the wifi been working fine?”
“I’m downloading Eminem’s new album with no problem whatsoever.”
“Right, right,” Jimin frowned, looking back down at his phone.
Taemin snorted, “What’s gotten you so wound up?”
Jimin scoffed a laugh, “Wound up? I’m not wound up, just making sure that I’m not missing anything important.”
The man eyed him curiously for a second before a lightbulb switched on in his brain. “Oh my God,” he laughed, the sound almost wicked that his boss turned to face him, “it’s finally happened, hasn’t it? Who is it?”
“What?”
“Come on,” Taemin smirked, “you can’t hide it from me. Who’s the lucky guy who’s gotten your panties in a twist?”
“Nobody has—I’m not waring panties either, shut the fuck up,” Jimin growled, deciding that he really didn’t need to deal with this type of abuse as he stalked towards his office.
However, Taemin was hot on his tail, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face. “You’re checking your phone, constantly asking about messages,” Taemin smirked, “you’ve got it bad.”
“I don’t—” Jimin paused “—shit. I do have it bad.”
“Join the club, asshole,” Taemin laughed, waving his fingers on his way out the door, “I’ll give you some privacy to deal with your existential crisis.”
the exception happy ending (?)
Throwing himself into work and swearing off relationships and love forever seemed to work well for the first two weeks. Work was great and he was making great progress. He channeled all of his anger and stress into his work that his boss was impressed by how much he did in the office, much to the disappointment of his coworkers.
Boycotting love was another story though. It was hard and he wallowed in his self-pity by drowning himself in enough shitty romantic movies and tubs of ice cream to have Jeongguk calling him gross. When Jeongguk called him gross, you knew you had it bad.
It wasn’t until a few days later that he received a call. “Hello?”
“Taehyung? Kim Taehyung?”
The voice was velvety, smooth, yet unfamiliar. It had a soothing aspect to it though. “Um, yes.”
“I’m Namjoon, I think Jimin mentioned me last time?”
Holy fuck. He really was an idiot. Not only had he messed up the signals, he had made one of them up too. “R-right, yeah, he did. It’s nice to finally hear from you.”
“Yeah, sorry, it’s been a hectic month but I finally have some time off. Would you care to join me for dinner?”
He was asking whether Taehyung—the die-hard romantic and advocate for True Love—wanted to join who Jimin described to be as dashing and intelligent if he wanted to have dinner. It was a yes in an instant, his resolve dissolving.
Namjoon was entertaining and he had a lot to say about art pieces that Taehyung liked as well. They clicked. They really did. Namjoon was kind and patient, he was sweet all throughout their conversation. He had even promised Taehyung that he would give him a call as soon as he got home and Taehyung took it without much hope. Not like it hadn’t happened before. However, before he even reached his own house, Namjoon had already dropped a voicemail.
“It was really great to see you today, Taehyung. This is Namjoon and I hope that you’ll grant me the opportunity to see you again sometime,” Namjoon’s voice filled his ears. It had his body tingling with warmth, but there was a dull numbing in his heart that prevented him from fully appreciating the gesture.
He dug around for his keys inside his pockets as he made his way up the steps to his apartment. Jeongguk was lounging on the couch, and whistled when he saw Taehyung. He had selected his favorite outfit after all, a sweet, silky blouse that accentuated his figure and pants tight enough to squeeze the living daylights out of someone like Jeongguk who had thighs the size of trunks. “You look good, my dude,” Jeongguk laughed.
“It was a good date, he called too.”
“Shit,” Jeongguk nodded approvingly, “sounds like a keeper already. Does he have a brother? Sister? I’ll take both if he lets me.”
Taehyung flung a pillow his way, “You’re goddamn gross.”
“And he sure is a lot better than—” Jeongguk stopped, curling his lips sourly in disgust before the name of he-who-must-not-be-named fell from his lips. His roommate had been on the receiving end of Taehyung’s tears for the first few days after the rejection. Jeongguk had officially deemed Jimin an irredeemable asshole and pledged to kick his ass with his spiked boots if he ever saw him. Taehyung told him no despite the giddiness inside of him that told him to fuck all. “Anyway, glad you’re having a great night.” The doorbell rang up front and Jeongguk beamed. “Hey, since you’re up, can you get that? It’s probably my pizza.”
He sighed, rolling his eyes but did anyway, swinging the door open only to be taken aback by the sight of Jimin there. Taehyung’s lips parted. All the feelings he had tamped down came rushing back and he hated himself for it, hated how weak he still was for Jimin. “Hey,” Jimin started, shifting around almost nervously.
“Can I help you with something?”
“Taehyung,” Jimin whispered, gaze looking pained. Taehyung had some sick satisfaction seeing it. He deserved it. “Listen, I—”
“No, you listen. I said what I said and I don’t need to hear some half-assed apology to make your ego feel better or whatever. I think you should go.”
Jimin blocked the door from closing and Taehyung sighed in exasperation. “I’m—it’s not for a half-assed apology.”
Jeongguk’s voice carried down the hall. “Taehyung, who’s at the door?”
For a second, a flicker of hesitation appeared across his eyes. “You need to leave,” he hissed at Jimin but it was too late because Jeongguk was already making his way up to the entrance hall. When he caught Jimin there and Taehyung’s face flushed with anger, Taehyung could practically hear his blood boil.
“You’ve got some fuckin’ nerve showing your face here,” Jeongguk barreled down the hallway and Taehyung had to hold him back.
“Guk, stop. It’s fine. I can deal with this okay.”
Jeongguk sneered at Jimin, “The fuck are you even doing here? Taehyung’s not gonna listen to your bullshit so why don’t you just go?”
“Jeongguk,” Taehyung pressed again, “stop it. I can take care of this, I promise.” Jeongguk gritted his teeth, pinching his lips unhappily. “Please,” he begged again.
The younger finally relented, shrugging off Taehyung’s touch to toss one last glare at Jimin and jabbed two of his fingers towards his eyes then at Jimin. “I’m watching you. You pull any shit, I’ll kick you myself. Tae, holler if you need anything. I’ll be in my room with my fuckin’ bat ready.”
Taehyung saw Jimin’s throat moved and he wanted to grin. “Okay, Gukkie, thank you.” With that, Jeongguk moved back down the hallway and Taehyung heard the resounding shutting of his bedroom door. “Now, what do you want? I’m tired.”
“I’m here because I—uh—wanted to go… give you back your pen.”
“My pen,” Taehyung echoed, crossing his arms over his chest. The man fumbled with his pocket and pulled out the stick, handing it over. Taehyung accepted it and raised an eyebrow, “Is that all then?”
“N-no, I—” Jimin choked a little, coughing “—I wanted to say I am sorry, for what I said. It was uncalled for and I just—you’re right, I can be insensitive and blunt and I’m an asshole.” Taehyung snorted at that. “I know, I know. But I—you’re right. I guess I was scared of things going to shit that my first instinct is t block it out. I don’t think you’re lame or pathetic. You’re very honest with your feelings and I think that takes a lot of courage.”
No, no, this wasn’t happening. Taehyung blinked back the tears as Jimin took a step forward. He was frozen to his spot, unable to move.
“And I—God, I love that. I love that you embrace love that you love love. It’s—it’s incredible, you know. I should’ve known better, you’ve always been the smarter one out of the two of us,” he chuckled, tugging on the collar of his shirt, a nervous tic Taehyung knew he had. “And, if—if you’re willing to give me one more chance, I can do that. I want to give you the romance and love you deserve because you deserve every bit of it, every drop of it. I want to give you that happiness you wanted.”
“Jimin,” Taehyung breathed, voice trembling, “I don’t—I just don’t think we have that chance anymore.” Jimin’s expression fell into one of fear and surprise. “Look, I went out with Namjoon earlier. He—he was sweet and smart, he called me right after to tell me he wanted to take me out again. You’re right, he is a good guy. I think he would be the type to bring me flowers and be kind to me. He’s safe and good.”
Jimin moved forward again, his actions more frantic. “I can do that, I can. I can bring you flowers and take you out on dates, I’ll call you everyday if you want.” Fuck, no, he couldn’t be doing this to him. “I’ll take you to your favorite galleries, I want to listen to you talk about them all day.”
“You really don’t,” Taehyung whispered, “look, Jimin, this is probably the guilt talking. So this is me telling you that it’s fine, I’ve moved on and—”
“Don’t,” Jimin interrupted, blurting out nervously, “don’t move on. Not yet. Please. I’ll—give me a chance to prove myself. I can’t stop thinking about you, I keep checking my phone and my messages expecting you to drop me a call, but you never did. And that sucked, I had never felt more miserable. I can be a good boyfriend, Taehyung. I’ll spoil you rotten and make sure that you’re happy. I want to give you all you want, all the love.”
The taller boy licked his lips before pressing them together and breathing out from his nose. “I thought you didn’t believe in all that. You made fun of me for so long about it and now you’re pulling this kind of shit? How cliché.”
“I know,” he flinched, “it looks bad. But—it’s not like that. You were right to call me a coward, it put things into perspective for me. You make want to believe in all that again—the spark, the signals. I want to give you all that.”
“I’m the rule, remember?” Taehyung whispered. He was never meant for this. He should stick to something—someone—safe like Namjoon. He wanted his happy ending and he didn’t think he could ever find it in Jimin ever again, not after what he’s said. But his heart was still throbbing, beating loudly for him, crying out for him.
This was what Taehyung always dreamed of but maybe, maybe it really didn’t exist. Jimin caught his hands, bringing them up to his lips to press kisses. “I was stupid. There are no rules, no exceptions. Everyone is different, it’s just a matter of whether you’re an asshole or not, whether you’re going to be sitting around on your ass rejecting every notion of love with fear or going out there and seizing the world. You—you’re the hope for love and maybe, maybe I want to be your hope too for it.”
He tried so hard to hold it back, tried so hard to resist. But even he was still a weak man who fell into temptations. Taehyung had never been one to settle, and this was his attempt to find a balance between safety and adventure. Jimin was both, but neither at the same time. Would he really risk everything—his heart—once again for him?
“Let me try and make you happier, Taehyung. You’re so, so great and you deserve the world. Please give me the chance to offer that to you,” Jimin drew closer, his hands cupping his cheeks to brush away stray tears.
He was crying. What a fuckin’ baby. Taehyung sniffled, “You’re so cheesy that I’m grossed out.”
Jimin laughed, the squeaky one Taehyung loved so much. He was really there with him. “But you like cheesy and gross.”
“Don’t test me, I’m still mad at you.”
The other boy’s expression faltered on his face as he bit on his bottom lip, wrapping his arms around Taehyung’s waist. “M’sorry, I’m so sorry. It was shitty of me to say. You can hit me or yell at me or whatever. I’ll make it up to you, I promise you that.”
Taehyung took a deep breath, “And you’re—you’re sure about this?”
“110%,” he beamed.
His lips twitched as he chuckled, shaking his head. “Well, welcome to my world, Park Jimin.”