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The guilt eats away at me. I see his face in every shadow, every nook and cranny. His blank eyes staring lifelessly. I never meant to kill my brother.
My brother had always been better than me. I flunked every other test; he was disappointed if he got an A. My eyes were too small and my nose too big. His face was perfect. I was thin and weak, he was strong and muscular. I couldn't even run fast but he was perfect at every sport. Five years of being overshadowed by my brother, and I was a bundle of emotions. Anger. Hatred. Envy. Five years, and then I killed him.
His death was simple, really. My rage and jealousy, my feeling of being useless and worthless, my hatred. They all built up, like water in a dam. And when that water is released, its pressure is immense. My feelings were released by the knife in his throat. There was no screaming, no resistance. My brother's soul was drained out by that knife.
Ten minutes I stood there, before the realisation of what I'd really done hit me. The full impact of my sin. And then other memories flashed into my mind. My brother's laughter. Him trying to hide his perfect report card from me, so I wouldn't get hurt. The warm feeling of his embrace. And I ran. I ran away from my home, away from my family, away from my life. But, oh, I couldn't run from my guilt.
My rush of adrenaline had brought me as far as the woods. I collapsed against a tree trunk, all my energy drained out. Dawn was starting to come, light rays creeping up from the horizon and lightening the dark night sky. If only a ray could enter me and vanish the darkness within.
Ten days I lived in the fear that someone would find me and my crime. Then I heard news from some villagers passing by the woods that the elder Abernathy son had died, the younger disappeared. It was all a mystery, but the grieved parents had not called the police. They had even dismissed the maid, so no one would ever enter the house. I felt a pang of guilt for causing grief to my parents, but I would have to live in guilt from then on. And I retreated into the woods.