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Two naked bodies sprawled across the bed, heaving and wheezing while beads of sweat were wiped out after an intensely intimate session. The two looked at each other, basking in each other's presence as they smiled proudly.
"Shower?" the older one asked and the other shakes his head.
"If we shower together you might want to take me again, and I'm not really up for that," he explained with a hazy smile.
The older one chuckled and got up from the bed, heading towards the shower when a voice made him pause. "Sho?" He turned to the man currently occupying his bed, "Can I smoke?"
"Go outside to the veranda, then you can smoke," said Sho while pointing the direction of the veranda.
"You want me to smoke out in the open with my dick out?"
"Put on some underwear, geez."
"Well, I would have put it already if only I can find my briefs. You took them off so early, I didn't know you were that eager," the small man snickered while Sho combed his hair with his hand, "Fine. You can smoke, just don't forget to open the windows later on."
The man on the bed smirked and pull out a pack of cigarettes and lighter from the bedside table. He took one in his teeth and winked at the taller naked man standing just outside the bathroom door while he lit up a cig.
"You're gonna be the end of me, Ninomiya Kazunari." And that's the last thing Sho said before actually entering the bathroom and clean himself.
When he got out of the shower, he wasn’t surprised that his company for the night was nowhere to be found, only a note on his bed, and a cig butt on an ashtray next to the opened window. Sho lifted the note that read:
'Thanks for tonight!
It was a blast! sorry, got to go earlier~
next time, we're doing it at my place so you can do the same. *wink*
-Nino'
The short, blatant note made Sho chuckled then proceed to dress for the night and put the cigarette waste away. Sho checks his phone and opens Nino's contact information, almost pressing the dial button but decided to cancel it. In the end, he put his phone in the bedside dresser before pulling himself to sleep while replaying the moments from three months ago.
-Three Months Ago-
Sho sat alone with his hands on the counter nursing his diluted drink, his back facing people who lost into the music beats and fluorescent lights. The Bartender kept glancing at him. Maybe I look like a miserable man, Sho thought, well, getting stood up is indeed sad, maybe he should end the night and head home.
Suddenly, he felt a light tap on his shoulder. Sho turned to see a young man with black unruly hair smirking at him, "Are you alone?" he asked, and without thinking, Sho nodded at once.
The guy got closer to him, and whispered, "There's this guy I want to escape from, would it be cool if you pretend to be my boyfriend?" Sho's eyes went wide at that, but he agreed nonetheless. The smaller man glanced at his back for a second before he pushed his lips onto Sho and locked them in a long passionate kiss.
A bulky man came to sight then shouted 'SLUT!' before going to the other way. Sho and the stranger keep on kissing, after a while, they parted and the smaller man smiled, "Thanks. You're a pretty good kisser." Sho straightened his posture before taking a sip of his beer, "Yeah, wasn't expecting that… But you're a good kisser too."
It kinda went awkwardly for the both of them, so the stranger hopped onto the stool next to Sho's. "So, what's your deal?" he asked, Sho lifted his sloping shoulders, the stranger laughed mockingly, "Well, you knew about me, I got hit on with that muscle man but he won't leave me alone. So, what's your deal?"
"Got stood up. Wasn't even looking forward to it anyway, though I could sure use a good fuck" while chugging a beer occasionally Sho explained, clearly, the alcohol is already in his system as he didn't realize that the smaller man just got closer to his ear and whispered,
"Well, I'm a good fuck."
Sho looked at him dubiously, the stranger leaned into his ear and continued, "You're a great kisser, and you said I am too. But I know something else I'm good at," the stranger winked and gave Sho a sensual look.
"Lead the way."
The next thing Sho realized is he's naked, covered in sweat at some cheap dim hotel room reeked of sex and shampoo. He rubbed his eyes, his mind is a mess as the memory of sex and moans filled his head. He then got distracted when the bathroom door opened and the same small stranger emerged from it, wearing nothing but a towel to cover below the waist.
"I see you're awake. You know, some guys like to load and leave, but you load and dozed off. Man, you're a new formula," he paused. "I like it," the smaller man's declaration made Sho laughed, he rested his head against the headboard and both men look at each other.
"I don't think we have introduced ourselves," the stranger said, advancing towards Sho in the bed while taking Sho's phone, asking him to unlock it and proceed to the keypad.
"Well, I'm Nino. And you can call me-" he paused to showed Sho that he put his number and pressed the dial. Seconds later a catchy ringtone can be heard from the corner of the room.
"... anytime." Nino finished.
"I'm Sho."
"Nice to meet you."
A few weeks later, Sho found himself making out on top of Nino's bed. Both naked, with clothes thrown about the room, Nino sat on Sho's lap while they exchange passionate kisses. Nino likes to tease Sho by shying away from his kisses, but Sho knew better and started attacking Nino's neck.
Pausing from their intimate basking moments after casual sex, Sho cupped Nino's bare ass with his hands and rest his head against Nino's chest, "So, why did you call me?" Sho asks and Nino looks at him confused, "We're fuck buddies, Sho. I call you to have sex."
That made Sho laughs a little before cupping his buddy's face with his hands, "Yeah, but you never call me on the verge of crying, asking me to come here." Nino sheepishly pulled Sho away from him, "I am NOT on the verge of crying!"
"Well, there has got to be something on that head of yours, c'mon. Let it out."
There's a lot of chance where the two met for sex, chat, or just to hang out. But occasionally they have grown closer to tell stories about their lives. Knowing Sho, he will not let Nino go before he actually gives up and spill it, so with a heavy sigh, Nino climbed off of Sho's lap and sat beside him on the bed, his head rested on Sho's sloping shoulders.
"You remember our agreement?"
"Stop when we meet someone else and fall in love?" Nino nodded, Sho straightens his posture.
"Do you … fall in love with someone?" Nino chuckled and shook his head, "I met … one of my exes. Like accidentally, he called out to me."
"Ooh … is it the one who likes to do that beatbox underground thing?" Nino shook his head.
"The health-junkie who likes designer clothing and weird sports regimes?" Nino shook his head once again.
"So it's the engine maniac with the big dick!" Sho exclaimed and Nino laughed.
"Yeah. They all got big dicks, though … so far he's the biggest. Can't believe I dated him, ugh. No wonder he got a big dick, half of his brain is down there!" Nino complained while Sho began to laugh out loud, "So … you miss that big dick?"
Nino turned to Sho completely. "I got you. Yours ain't that big but it fits so perfectly."
"I'm flattered, now what's wrong with him?"
Nino breathed. "Okay, so. In a few months that I dated him, not once did he ever took me out. I mean, I rarely go out but that doesn't mean I don't want to go out?! I would like one day where he doesn't just slide in and ask me for a rub." Sho listened as Nino continued with his engaging story. "Then WE MET AND THE DICK ACTUALLY BOUGHT ROSES! ROSES! I asked about it and he said it was for this 'person' he met and he was going out with him. I joked, like, 'you never brought me flowers before~' and HE SAID THAT I WOULDN'T LIKE THEM! Like … what?!"
Nino breathed once again before falling face first on the mattress. "Like, I wouldn't mind going on a date for once." He mumbled, that gave Sho an idea.
"Why don't I take you out?"
Nino gets up to actually look at Sho.
"What?"
"We could go on a date," Sho suggested.
"Fuck buddies fuck, Sho. They don't call it Date buddies," Nino said, rather skeptical.
"Well, we are fuck buddies, which means we are buddies who fuck. So when my buddy said he never got to date, it's my duty as a buddy to take him on one!" Sho said as his face turned smug, and Nino laughed wholeheartedly. "You are one weird fella, you keep messing with the system,” he paused before he adds, "I like it."
The next morning at work, Sho was feeling devastated. Yeah, curse him and his big mouth, because actually, he didn't have any idea where to take Nino on a date. He knew Nino didn't like high-end cuisine, so he couldn’t take him to a fancy restaurant. Nino wouldn’t enjoy that. Nino couldn’t be bothered with moving water, so he couldn’t take him on a boat trip. He knew Nino like being indoor, playing games, and beer, but he needed to make this date special!
He turns to his coworker beside him, "Hey, Kenty."
"Yes, Sakurai-san?"
"What do you think is the best place to go on a date?"
"A theme park."
"Theme park?" Sho questioned. Kento flashed him a prince-like smile and elaborated. "Well, it's fun and varied. You can do all sorts of things there! You can enter a haunted house where you can hold hands, or maybe you can protect them and somehow they got closer to you! You can be like, 'I will protect you, Princess' and they'll be like 'Ah, my hero!' Isn't that amazing?" Kento explained with gracious gestures towards his senior who looks at him confusedly.
"Oh! You'd ride on the Ferris wheel, where they will be like 'Ah, I'm scared of heights!' and then you'll hold them close, and when it got closer you'll kiss while watching the sunset over the horizon!"
"Okay, thanks for the idea," Sho thanked him nonchalantly and Kento ended his presentation with a graceful bow. Even though it seemed like he was uninterested, he was searching for amusement parks near him with haunted houses and Ferris wheels.
"You're taking me … to The Amusement Park?" Nino asked when he saw the gateway to enter the park. It was Saturday, and Sho took Nino out on a date. "It’s a recommended place" Sho explained, he didn't have to reveal the whole story about Kento's amazing stage presence, to the point that they both were sent to their supervisor's office to hear about complains of why they were rehearsing stage play instead of doing their work. Nino's eyes followed the colorful signs and screams of joy as they walked to the entrance of the park.
Sho found his first spot and pointed toward it; The haunted house. "Hey! Wanna try that one? I heard their haunted house is the best in the city!" Nino shrugged it off, claimed that haunted house isn’t his thing, but Sho insisted. "C'mon. I'll protect you!" even though he was against it, Nino pouted but complied and didn't say anything as Sho clutched their hands together and walked confidently to the entrance of the haunted house.
The haunted house was not that bad, it was scary, but to Sho, it was worth it as Nino refused to let go of his arms for the next half hour. The thing was, Sho didn't anticipate the big scare as one of the staff dressed in big monstrous hairy creature jumped out and let a big growl. Shocked, Sho let out a massive shriek and held onto Nino, who laughed out loud and clapping his hands while exclaiming "My Hero~" to Sho's sudden outburst.
Later on, Nino circled Sho's hand around his shoulder and posed with the said creature for a souvenir photo. After a quick lunch filled with Nino teasing Sho about the haunted house, they rode on fun and harmless rides and played some arcade games. It was on the verge of sunset when they climbed on the Ferris wheel. As the Ferris wheel went up higher, Nino pointed out the rides and landmarks of the park to Sho who nodded along while kept glancing around.
As their carriage halted on top of the Ferris wheel, Sho's breath hitched. Nino turned to look at his companion to see that Sho had grown pale and uneasy. With that he held onto Sho's hand, gently massaging them and asked, "Are you … afraid of heights?" The other nodded
Nino got worried and went closer to him. "It's okay, we'll go down in a few minutes. We will be back on the ground in no time." Sho nodded weakly, hands still shaking in Nino's grasps. "Is there anything else I can do to make you feel better?" Nino asked and Sho tried to speak,
"Ki-Kiss me."
Nino laughed a little. "Is this your effort to make me kiss you on the Ferris wheel?" Nino retorted while Sho laughed sheepishly, still couldn’t control his trembling hands and feet, Nino impelled himself a bit closer and locked his lips together with Sho. It was an innocent kiss, it felt very short as the Ferris wheel moved again and they parted with a smile on their faces.
As soon as they reached Nino's apartment, Sho parked his car in an empty parking lot. Nino was the first one to speak, "Thank you, Sho. I really had fun today," he flashed Sho his sincere smile, the one that Sho wasn't used to. Nino's eyes were sparkling and his mouth made a smile that Sho never saw before, it made his heart pounding while butterflies filled his stomach. It was a very beautiful feeling yet Sho felt guilty and scared for having those feelings came out.
Before he drowned in sorrow and self-pity, Sho remembered something that he had yet to give and searched for the packaging located in his back seat. Nino looked at him confused when Sho pulled out a box of chocolate roses.
"I meant to give this to you earlier. You said you never got roses, and I think your ex was right about you won't like them. Well, you'll see roses as something that wastes money, so I actually bought this chocolate in the shape of roses so … well … you got flowers, but you can eat them," Sho rambled as he showed Nino the box, to his unfortunate timing, the chocolate roses had already melted in the box, creating a pool of melted milk chocolate.
So Sho slid it with his finger and coated them with the molten chocolate. Without a second thought, Nino grabbed Sho's chocolate coated finger and put it in his mouth and sucked it clean, swirling his tongue on the finger and gave suggestive looks to Sho. Even with a dreadful feeling forming in his heart, Sho gathered his things and followed Nino to his room
Nino spread out on the mattress writhing in pleasure, reacting to Sho's touch and kisses. The box of chocolate was empty and long forgotten. Moans of wants and trust filled the room for the night while Sho's mind was in jumble and doubt. While he took Nino higher and higher on cloud nine, his mind was replaying their rules over and over again,
'Stop … when we fall in love.'
That was when Sho's eyes were glistening with tears as he watched the man he loves was nearing his limits and asking for release. Sho obliged and sent waves of pleasure to satisfy both of their needs. Sho got closer to Nino as he shed his tears and without question, Nino cupped his face to wipe the tears away lifting his eyebrows in worry, then turning that doubtful face into a sincere smile, in which Sho stole with a kiss.
Later that night, Sho slipped out of Nino's embrace, carefully not to wake the sleeping man. He put back his clothes and glanced back at the man he loved with all his heart, and knowing their agreement, they could no longer meet anymore. So, without leaving a single note, Sho whispered a simple, "Goodbye," and walked out to the door.
Weeks had gone by and the two didn't exchange a single word to one another. Sho busied himself with workloads and projects to avoid his mind wandering about what's going on with Nino. The truth was, Sho loved Nino with all his heart, mind, body, and soul. But he was afraid to break their agreement and cut ties with Nino altogether - Well, that's what he's doing now, huh .
Nino wasn't coping well either. When he woke up that day, he never thought that Sho would leave him. The date was amazing, the sex too, Sho never complained, so what happened? Nino tried to call Sho, but it would go straight to voicemail or purposely rejected. His text message was ignored, and his emails never answered. Nino hoped he knew what's going on inside Sho's mind. ' Maybe that's why he cried that time, ' Nino thought, because of all the men he had encountered in the past, he can proudly say that he fell in love with Sho the most. It was embarrassing to say because he remembered their agreement to stop when they fall in love, and Nino didn’t want to ruin the 'sex buddies' relationship he already had with Sho. Maybe he knew , Nino thought, Maybe he knew I love him and that's why he left .
One evening, Sho waited on the bus stop and saw an ad for a highlighter marker with a caption:
Being BOLD never hurt anyone.
And the question underneath it struck Sho like a thousand lightning rounds.
"Have you done something BOLD today?"
That was where it hit Sho, he never did anything bold and powerful for himself. He always did what he was expected of, and what others wanted him to do. He never stood up for himself and let others influenced his decisions.
He agreed on a date with a complete stranger. When he got stood up, he kissed Nino because Nino wanted him to help him hide from another man flirting with him, he and Nino became sex buddies because Nino wanted him to, he didn't call Nino that night when Nino left with a note, He took Nino on a date because he wanted him to, he took Nino to the Amusement Park because his junior coworker told him to, and he stayed away from his love because of a simple undocumented agreement.
It dawned to Sho like he got hit by a million bricks at once, he looked at the bottom of the Ad to see a final sentence to motivate his actions after:
"Now, it's the time to be BOLD!"
And Sho did.
He left the bus stop seconds after his bus pulled in and sprinted to the opposite direction of his house. In his mind, there was only one place, one room, and one person he had to be right now. He was being bold, he decided it's time to prioritize his own needs and feelings.
As he reached a familiar apartment building, he reminded himself that it was not the Ad that made him do this; The Ad motivated him, it clearly didn’t say he has to run here. This was crazy and a complete madness if he ever used his rational mind first. But, here goes nothing.
Sho found himself in front of Nino's door and he rang the bell.
A moment later, Nino opened the door.
"I love you."
Sho declared.
Nino couldn't believe his ears and Sho couldn't believe that his confession was answered by a door slammed in his face.
"Wait, Nino!" Sho knocked on the door again.
Nino shouted, "No calls! No texts! Nothing! You just go disappear then come back to say that, RIGHT ON MY FACE? BEGONE, SAKURAI!" as Nino spoke, Sho heard a squeak in his last words, thinking that he made his crush cried. Sho slumped in front of Nino's door and placed his forehead on the door. "I'm … I'm sorry. I was wrong, you don't deserve that."
Sho started to apologize, but Nino stayed silent. Hoping Nino would be still hanging by the door, Sho continued.
"Well, we … we had an agreement, didn't we? We should stop sleeping with each other as soon as we fall in love. Remember our date? We had fun at the amusement park that day, well, I ... had fun. I remember you won't let me go when we entered the haunted house, and I remember feeling so guilty seeing your worried face, and very very happy when you told me you had fun that day," he smiled remembering that day and continued, "Out of all your faces I've seen, when you're smiling, you're smirking, when you come, when you're on the edge, your worried face! The one that I always remember is that smiling face of yours that day, I want to protect that smile, protect the person holding that smile towards me. I think that's what made me realize ... I love you, Nino," he said as he closed his eyes, praying that Nino's still there to hear his confession.
Unknown to Sho, Nino was curled up behind his front door covering his mouth with his hands to prevent himself from crying. "I … I know you are not the relationship type because all your exes are dicks. And they are! They're a bunch of big, hard dicks! Which you love," he smacked his head on the door, "Damn it! That's not what I meant. They were dicks, you dated them, but they were still dicks! I … I'm a dick too for leaving you all of the sudden but ..."
He halted as the door in front of him creaked open.
"But unlike them, you know how to work your dick," Nino said while keeping the door open, after a while, they made eye contact.
Sho continued, "I may be a dick, but this dick is tired of being just a dick. This dick wants to be a person-" the conversation was cut short because Nino sealed Sho's lips with his palms, "Can we move the dick-convo inside? I'm afraid the neighbors might think badly of us." and Sho obliged.
The next thing he knew, they sat across each other not willing to make eye contact when Nino started talking, "They … they would've been gone by now. When I slammed the door on their face, I would be glad that when I open the door, they would disappear, but, this time … this time I'm happy you're still there. You left, but you came back.”
"Nino..."
"I … I know I don't want any relationship right now … but … I … I'm willing to try again … if it's with you." Nino bit his lips, and now it's Sho's turn to not believe what he'd just heard.
They both made eye contact and gave each other a relieved smile while bashfully looking the other way. After a short pause, Nino turned to Sho, "What...what do people do after confessing?"
"I … I don't know."
"Maybe we have sex?" Nino asked in which Sho shakes his head, "How about we cuddle?" suggested Sho.
So in the next few moments, they were cuddling in front of the television. Nino tucked his legs while leaning on Sho as he threaded his fingers into Nino's hair, they watched the show with such interest, finding both warmth and comfort in each other's embrace. They looked at each other and lock their lips in a very long loving kiss, to some it might look like a normal kiss, but to the two people who shared lots of lust-filled, passionate kisses, this kiss felt so much better than that. Because unlike lust and passion or any heat of the moment they felt, this felt like Love. Love for now, for forgiving yesterday's mistakes, and love to whatever uncertain future may come at them.
When they parted, they smile contently and pushed their foreheads together blush formed as if this was the most intimate moment they had with each other, and yet, it was.
Later that evening they found themselves on the bed, in each other's arms while fully clothed. The first time they didn't have sex, the first time they didn’t require sex to show how much lonely they were, and how much they need the other beside them. The first of many nights and Sho is looking forward to tomorrow.
He was grateful he took a chance to be bold.